Author has written 24 stories for Twilight, Alex Rider, Shapeshifter, Ali Sparkes, Merlin, Good Omens, Criminal Minds, Harry Potter, Supernatural, Modern Family, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.
Sorry about quite how long this is but I like copy and pasting (it's really addictive when you get going!), My name is Chloe and I'm one of the 3% of teenagers in Britain with OCD but hey, at least my bedroom will always be tidy :) I love writing, have a dog, live in England and study English at the University of Exeter.
Some of my older stories most notable the Twilight and Alex Rider ones, are a little horrific to look back on but I don't want to delete them because they show quite how far I've come.
WARNING! copy and pasting area.
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. E.L. Doctorow
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Marilyn Monroe
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. Chinese Proverb
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT JACOB BLACK
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you.
We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass.
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going, "We fucked up, huh?"
Keep staring I might do a trick
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put "u" and "i" together.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
FRIEND:Lend you their umbrella
FRIEND: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIEND:Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIEND:Would bail you out of jail.
WE ARE SO DOING THAT AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND!"
FRIEND:Have never seen you cry.
FRIEND:Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIEND:Only know a few things about you.
FRIEND:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIEND:Would knock on your front door.
FRIEND:You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIEND:Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIEND:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
FRIEND:Would ignore this letter
FRIEND: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
BEST FRIEND: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
FRIEND: Will help me learn to drive
BEST FRIEND: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
FRIEND: Will watch my pets when I go away
BEST FRIEND: Won't let me go away
FRIEND: Will help me up when I fall down
BEST FRIEND: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
FRIEND: Will bail me out of jail
BEST FRIEND: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"
FRIEND: Will go to a concert with me
BEST FRIEND: Will kidnap the band with me
FRIEND: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
BEST FRIEND: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
FRIEND: Asks me for my number
BEST FRIENDS: Asks me for her number
FRIEND: Hides me from the cops
BEST FRIEND: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
FRIENDS: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
BEST FRIEND: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
BEST FRIEND: Are 4 Ever
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
15 Things to do when your in a shopping centre!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Torchwood, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, idril telperien
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...If you want this kind of guy, copy and paste this into your profile.
Girls are like
When she walks away from you mad
When she stare's at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you
When she start's cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignore's you
When she pulls away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
When she steal's your favorite hat
When she teases you
When she doesn’t answer for a long time
When she look's at you with doubt
When she say's that she like's you
When she grabs at your hands
When she bump's into you
When she tells you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
Try Not To Cry:
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
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