Author has written 3 stories for Naruto.
Alert to my readers: Wild One has been rewritten. Events of the story have changed. Any past readers will want to reread the past chapters before continuing with the story.
Proud member of Critics United.
Warning: This profile is rated R for language.
Hello stranger, chances are you’re here because I’ve left a review that pissed you off, or you’ve enjoyed one of my own stories. If you’re here because of the latter then welcome! I hope you find something else of interest in my list. However if you’re here for the former please refer to “The Things That Effing Piss Me Off in fandom” section before you snivel about my review. There you shall likely find the reason for your critique.
And if I have mentioned that I believe that your character is a Mary-Sue, or you think you might have one then this link is for you: The Universal Mary-Sue Litmus Test. If you have an OC then chances are you need to go here too. I've taken this test for my current OC and scored a 15.
All righty then about me...
Name: Hmmm...I would tell you but I seem to have forgotten it again...so for now I'll go by Gaaras1Girl, -GG for short- or Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer.
Age: I'm 22.
Gender: If my username didn’t tip you off that I’m female then you surely have trouble reading.
And here's a link to my Photobucket account, it also now has all of my banners for Wild One: gaaras1girl
Here's a link to some awesome Gaara images: Gaara_Fanart
Here’s some fun quotes:
This got Baki involved. “Hey now! I'm going to tell you like I tell Gaara. No death threats at the dinner table. If you want to make threats wait until everyone else is done eating.”- from 'Demon Kisser' by BadSakura
“You know, we have a name for people like you—it's called: Stalker.” He remained quiet and I sighed. Either he wasn't getting it or he was ignoring me. And because I have a death wish, I decided to push him further. “This is where you get all grumpy and say—” I lowered my voice. “'Hn. I'm not stalking you, Nene'” -from Demon Inheritance by BadSakura
“I’d rather that then what you do, what you do is practically unintentional suicide.” -By to-love-is-to-lie
His favorite show was CSI. She was worried however when he started taking notes. As well as crossing things out. -from Madness of the heart, by light barrer
Dearest Mother in heaven, whatever I have done to offend you, please send it to me via e-mail and I shall try to repent.
Princesses have grace and elegance; I have stupidity and a spork… From What is wrong with my life? by Siyui no Akatsuki
Gaara looked right at him, “Let’s talk Shika. Is it alright if I call you Shika? Doesn’t matter. Look, hurt her and I’ll kill you. Touch her and I’ll kill you. Be nice to her or I’ll kill you. I’ll always be watching you. Always be afraid.” From I SPY by tenten007hero
"Girls are vengeful creatures, Gaara. They are cruel and manipulative and will do horrible things to get back at men who break their hearts." from A Haunting Kind Of Memory by XxGaarasGirlXx
"What are you doing here? Five words or less." -Buffy ... "Out. For. A. Walk... Bitch!" -Spike (Buffy, season 5)
"Telling a women what to do in her own house is like trying to baptize a cat." -Dr. Phil
And now for the things that make me giggle like a school girl:
If you’re a fan of SandCest the song "I Fucking Hate You" should suffice.
I'm not a bitch, I'm the bitch, and that's Miss Bitch to you.
It seems you have a severe case of being a little bitch. I'm prescribing a heavy dose of Man the Fuck Up.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
It's a battle between the bad, the ugly, and the- what the heck is that?!
How to be a writer: Start to write something, and read over what you have so far. Cringe, turn off your computer, and cry on the floor. Do a rewrite for what you have, and repeat.
The Things That Effing Piss Me (and other readers) Off in fandom:
The pretweendom and under-eighteen-verse posters. Listen kids, here's some advice from someone who had the sense to read before I posted. Read before you post damn it! Before you even try to write a fic do your homework. And for those of you under the age of eighteen, lemons are not for you. They are not for you to read and they’re most certainly not for you to write. You are children! I am sick of reading lemons written by kids as young as sixteen and under. Stick to the pg-13 ratings and leave the 'M' for the adults.
Bad grammar: No one is perfect. I myself have some cringe-worthy errors in my writing, but there are a few things that aren't applicable to fanfiction and literature by wider extension.
1. Textspeak or Netspeak. Dis iz literature ppl so dun fukin' writ lyk dis u moron.
2. Uncalled for fragmentation: Here's a hint people. Develop your sentences. Don't write. Like this. It is, fucking annoying. To. Read. And I. Will. Flame you. For it. If I. See it.
3. FULL CAPS IN SENTENCES: This is a shameless butchering of the English language. Caps are used for proper nouns or the beginning of sentences; not the whole God damn story.
4. It is unnecessary for you to curse every other word in your fic. We get the point without you using language when it's unnecessary, got it? Good, moving on.
The dreaded AU High School fic: Ahh, the high school fandom that sadly shows no sign of ever dying. Hey you, Pre-teen still in the hell of High school! We have all been through it, no need to go back! To make it worse it's like everybody just uses one of the same freaking three plots every time! Just so you know, they are a modern day murder of the overused 'Pride and Prejudice', Cinderella, Hot-Romeo gets the ugly Juliet plot line placed into the hell of high school. Seriously, it is mind numbingly boring and grates on the nerves of experienced readers and writers alike.
Over Emo-ness: Okay, another lesson for you. Emo is a term meaning Emotional. This does not have to include: Cutting, Black overkill, eyeliner, tattoos, raging against society and pathetic whimpering in a closet. The dramatic extent of emo-ness in fandom is pathetic.
Bad Japanese: Sweet mother in heaven! Japan should ban some of you people from their language. What the fuck? If you love the language so damn much why do you do you insist on abusing it? Okay, I've seen all sorts of Japanese used in fics. And it's almost all shit Japanese. I mean really shit Japanese. As in, "I-just-kinda-threw-some-stuff-I-saw-together-hope-it-fits-teehee" Japanese. And neither is 'Kawaii' a mandatory statement for fanfiction.
Some people might excuse it by saying, "Well, they're still learning. This is how they practice." They shouldn't be using the freaking language in fics at all! There are forums and chat rooms and pen-pal programs and websites, all geared towards learning Japanese. Welcome to the Internet, kids. It's a wonderful place. Let me introduce you to my best friend: Google.
Plot stealing: A word from a fellow author, plot stealing is one of the most irritating things you can do. If the story idea is not yours then it is just that, not yours. What is wrong with you people? Are you so unimaginative that this is the best you can do?
Under-developed Super characters: Okay, this is going to hurt. Your delicate little eyes may bleed but I really don't give a damn. Someone does not become the most powerful being on the planet overnight you, inane, unimaginative, retard! If Naruto has an awesome bloodline ability, cool; we are seeing plot movement. If Naruto suddenly has 3 bloodline limits, absorbs Kakashi's and Itachi's sharingans, is the son of the First Hokage and Tsunade and miraculously is descended from Shinigami himself...Overkill.
Mary-Sues: Oh dear sweet unholy mother of fuck we can’t forget (no matter how we would love to) all of your lovely super characters, now can we? Listen her,e sweetie, I’m sick of reading about your little super powered characters, or as I like to call them “Princess Sparkles”. How hard is it for you to make your character not the strongest/most beautiful person in your fic? Grow the fuck up kids, no one wants to read your pathetic fantasies. Or worse yet…self inserts.
Run of the Mill Creature fics: In the Narutoverse, If your Naruto suddenly wakes up one morning to find he has sixteen tails, four ears, and nine inch claws because he completely merged with both Kyuubi and Shukaku...get a life.
Rape-tastic stories: Rape isn't funny. Period. Not to mention it is offensive to those who have been, or have had someone they love raped. The amount of 'he/she-gets-raped-then-falls-in-love-with-his/her-rapist' stories is just astounding. It does not fucking happen you stupid, ignorant bastard. Yes, this is fiction but certain morals lines cannot be crossed.
Incest: Dear God what is wrong with you people? I can't even understand where this sick fetish came from but it is vulgar and disgusting. This is another one of those moral lines that should be respected. (I realize that this is a subjective view and criticism is inevitable.)
Bestiality. Again, remember that whole thing about moral lines? Yeah, right here.
Over bashing: Yes, I will admit to having enjoyed a good Sasuke, Ino, or even Mutsuri bashing fic, but over bashing is moronic. Making the one girl who likes your male character the source of all evil in the story is juvenile.
Leaving the worst reviews: "liek omg _ THAT WUZ SO KAWAII!!1 i luv inuyasha an miroku 2gether, their teh best lol _;; PLZ WRITE MORE!!"
Some people review everything like this. Everything. I don't care if it's the most typo-ridden, OOC, badly-written drivel that has ever graced the Internet, you think it is the best thing ever. And you will add it to your favorites list and surely read it at least once a week, because it features your favorite unlikely couple and that's all that matters.
I've had the poor luck to run across terrible fics, then glance at the reviews and see eight pages of naught but praise. If you're going to read a pile of shit fic, at least have the grace to know that's what you're reading. If you don't out-and-out flame the author, at least give them what we of the more-than-one-brain-cell club like to call "constructive criticism" and tell them how to improve their fic. For the love of god, don't encourage the bad writers! The type of reviewer that does is part of the reason why the rest of us have to muck through page after page of poorly-written crap just to find a single good fic.
The fics that are just terrible: This ties more into the ideas above, but I'd just like to expand on it a little bit. Many fics are what I like to call “Old Yeller” fics. They start out with a good idea, but after a while it just all goes to hell, and then it's time to take it out to the backyard and shoot it in the head. Tragic, but necessary.
Writing MPREG: For the love of God why? You do know that the characters you're writing are male, right? Men don't have the equipment for making babies, kids; I don't care how many times you've watched Junior. You're just writing it because you think that your adorable couple needs a baby to cement their relationship, and babies just have to come from the innards of one of them, or it just doesn't count.
Clothing: Listen here sweetheart, nobody gives a flying blueberry fuck what your character is wearing no matter how kawaii you think it is. So for the love of all that's good in the world shut your damn mouths about it and get on with the story already!
Romance: All right, Buttercup, I need you to listen real close to this one: People do not fall in love the moment they meet. Shocking, I know. It must be hard to hear that Disney has been lying to you after all these years. So, now that you’ve been given a nugget of common sense, lets talk. If I see you post a story where two characters fall in love in the first chapter I will flame you, and I’ll enjoy it too. Think for a moment, princess, when was the last time you saw two strangers meet, tell each other their “tragic” life stories, and fall in love after one steamy kiss? I’m guessing never, and I might add that all of the above generally happens in a few hundred badly typed words.
Try to sit back for a moment and reflect on what it is to be human, and how being such drives you in what you do. After you do that try to think of a single good reason why one would want to suddenly throw themselves at a stranger like that. And by extension why someone would feel the need to spill their entire life out to someone they don’t know in a single sitting. Hell I wouldn't give a stranger my phone number if I didn't have a damn good reason to.
Review Whoring: I'll be honest here, I don't review for every story I read. Why you ask? Because most fics I've read lately have been oozing piles of putrid shit. If you're not going to put effort into writing then why the fuck should I put effort into reviewing? Here's a hint for your dumb-asses: If you're not getting reviews, or the majority of reviews you do get only say "UPDATE SOOON!!11!" Then the problem is probably you.
List fics: This is just pure laziness. If you can't be troubled to write out the actions you're naming off, then don't bother to fucking post it. That's without mentioning the fact that I'll report you faster then you can say "achoo" if I find a fic like this.
Song fics: Look here, Moron, lyrics that haven't been written by you are not allowed here. Why you ask? Because FanFiction.net does not have legal permission to use lyrics of song writers here. So be warned that if I find your songfic I will report you, and your fic will get pulled and your account suspended.
Chat Room Fics: Ah, the creme-de-la-creme of all fantards and thirteen year old kids. Look here sweetie, your "fic" is pure shit, and you're an idiot for thinking otherwise. Writing in "chat speak" makes you look exactly like the adolescent retard that you are. This is a site for writers, not for your inane attempts at humor, and guess what? I'm not the only person who thinks so. In fact, the Administrators of the site agree; that's why those type of fics are banned. Shocking, I know. Once again be aware that I'll report this shit wherever I find them and flame you for it while I'm at it.
Yaoi: Oh yes, I'm going there. Gather around children, you need to hear this: You do not need to make every character gay. I'm not even sure why you would want to, seeing as the majority of yaoi writers are young girls. Why is making characters of books, movies, and anime even more unattainable than they already are, sexy to you? What is the point? I get that odd pairings are fun, but the fact is that they're not odd anymore! In fact yaoi pairings outnumber the straight ones! What the fuck? Enough is enough already! And if anyone calls me homophobic for pointing out the obvious please do smack yourself, you insufferable failtard.
A final note: And above all remember this: Write like you have an education.
So there you have it; the things that royally piss me off in Fandom. If you happen to disagree, pm's are welcome. Let’s see how well you can debate. Besides I'm always up for a good laugh.