hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 02-02-09, id: 1825862, Profile Updated: 07-01-09
Author has written 4 stories for Misery, and Twilight.


My stories have nothing--NOTHING!--to do with the categories I choose. Heck, I haven't even read the categories I choose from... Haha. Now, you may happily continue reading my stories... If you want to now, anyways.

Hey there! LuvsItalianFood here. My name is actually Katie, it's just my display name is somewhat of an inside joke with my friends and I. Haha!!

Anyways... Um... I love to write stories. I also love to read and dance. Sing... Um... I'm in band at school. Proud band geek, baby!! Oh ya!! anyways...

Let's see... A little about me is that I love music and some of my fave singers/bands are:

Miley Cyrus, Emily Osment, Jonas Brothers, Rascal Flatts, Skillet, The Black Kids, Taylor Swift, etc. You get the point.

I don't really know what to say... Um... review my stories... Uh... Ya... If you want to become friends, I'm more than up to it! Are you??



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ...hi... Yea... I'm always up for some conversations... You know, if anyone would ever PM me!! Come on! I'm bored over here! My house is boring when nobody else is here! I'm ALWAYS up for even a SMALL conversation... So long as your not a murderer or something... Haha. ...Well, no. Seriously. No murderers.

Please. :)

Please try that It' sooo funny!!


A brunette and a blond with an inseperable bond.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I run into walls.

Free money!only 2 shipping and handling

I have A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!

Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver.

Oink. I'm a cow.

Girls are like phones. we like to be held, talked to , but if you push the wrong button you will be disconnected!

When I die I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep-- not screaming like his passengers in his car.

Last night I lay in bed looking at the stars in the sky then I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

My computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing.

Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it!

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do,kill me?"

" Life isn't about how many breathes you take, It's about how many moments that take your breath away"

"One day your life will flash before your eyes, so make sure that it's worth watching."

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"Just because I'm cute doesn't mean im nice."

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more."

"Don’t mess with me I've got a stick."

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."

"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."

Ya, cause I'm just cool like that.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

TU MADRE! That's right you just got burned... IN SPANISH!!

A stranger stabs you in the front, a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, a friend stabs you in the back, but best friends only poke each other with straws!


I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

¨°º¤ø„¸ FЯED „ø¤º°¨If u like FRED
¸„ø¤º°¨ ROCKS °º¤ø„¸copy & paste this

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run in to a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!! ... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: no.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: not really.

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: no.

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: no.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: no.

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: no.

Girl: Choose me or your life.

Boy: My life.

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says:

Boy: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do EVERYTHING for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that's sweet.

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.

If you think that Pokemon is cool, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love, copy and paste this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into a song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have, or wish you had a love/hate relationship with someone,copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)


1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

The memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’

Did you know:

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!


Your wish has just been received.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!!...)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and paste it onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Excuses for Not Bringing Your Homework

I forgot...

My dog ate it...

I ate it...

My pet llama ate it...

Aliens stole it from another galaxy...

My mom kept it...

I burned it by accident...

I was busy...

Copy an Paste this if your not stupid enough to use these and will just admit that you didn't do it and will try harder next time.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever tripped on your on two feet copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate obnoxious ,snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've gotten completly zoned out of a converstation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever got zoned out for more than five minutes copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever had a crush on one of your friends copy this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you eat carbs and are proud, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile

The 6 truths of life...

1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. You just tried to do the above.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're realising you're an idiot.

5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face. XD

While I'm at it, Here's 67 ways to annoy ppl at Wal Mart!

1. Glue coins on the floor where people can see them and see how many people try to pick them up.

2. When there is a sign that says, "Caution: Wet Floor", move it somewhere else or to a carpeted area.

3. Switch the price tags.

4. Put random things in peoples' carts.

5. Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay away.

6. Look straight into the security camera, use it as a mirror.

7. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the " Mission ... Impossible" theme.

8. Take the shoes off that you are wearing, then try to buy them. If a cashier tries to tell you that you didn't get them there, refuse and say you did.

9. Yell, "We got a code red in housewares!" and see what happens.

10. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "Pick me! Pick me!

11. Go into a fitting room and wait a while. Then yell very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

12. Ride around on a 3-year old's bike screaming, "The British are coming! The British are coming!

13. Set the alarms in the clock aisle to go off continuously every 5 minutes.

14. Get a toy water gun and then duck tape all of the Elmo dolls together and say, "Don't move or the Elmos get it!

15. Get chopsticks and stick them in your nose and run around yelling, "I'm a walrus! Hear me roar!

16. Pretend to be a manaquin and dress up in store clothes. Strike a pose. If someone looks at you, make faces.

17. Stare at the ceiling and see how many people look to see what you're staring at..

18. Take a Darth Vader doll and when a clerk isn't looking, pick up the intercom phone and press the button to make the Darth Vader doll talk on the store speaker system.

19. Walk behind a person who works at Wal-Mart and say, "Can I help you?

20. Grab one of the sample perfume bottles and squirt random passing people.

21. Get whipped cream and put it in your mouth and run around screaming, "I have rabies!

22. Talk on the loud speaker and say, "Attention K-Mart shoppers!

23. Walk up to a random person and say, "Hey! I remember you!" and see if they play along to avoid emberrasment.

24. Put barbies in a tough-looking guy's cart.

25. Take a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them at people.

26. Test fishing gear by casting into other aisles and see what you can catch.

27. Get a toy gun and run around the store playing army.

28. Pat a person on the back and put a "Kick Me" sign on them.

29. Throw a tennis ball and then chase it on all four legs, catching it in your mouth like a dog.

30. Dress up as Batman and sit in a cart while someone pushes you and yell, "To the Batcave, Robin!

31. Play bumper cars with the shopping carts.

32. Dress up as Spiderman and tackle random people and run off yelling,
"Another villan stopped by Spiderman!" and then say, "You can thank me later!

33. Start singing in a horrible voice and when people look at you, say, "I'm the next American Idol!

34. Get a can of Lysol and follow someone around the store, spraying everything they touch.

35. Spitball the cameras and random people.

36. Breakdance in the middle of the store..

37. "Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.

38. Play "Marco Polo"

39. Randomly throw things into neighboring aisles.

40. Run up to a complete stranger and say, "You're it!

41. Take a "mysterious package" to someone's cart and say kinda loud, "Here's the next clue, meet me at Sector 57 at oh- seven hundred hours tomorrow.
Bring no one. "

42. Get 20 people together and play "Hide and Go Seek

43. If people aren't looking at their cart, steal it.

44. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

45. TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.

46. Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.

47. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

48. Play on those 1 kiddy rides.

49. Fall off the ride when it's actually moving , and get stuck.

49.Pretend to shoot people.

50. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run towards a stranger saying,"…I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

51. Go to the juice section and pour the juice down peoples pants.

52. Grab whipped cream and spray it on peoples heads.

53. sniff someone. Then as they walk away, tell them you know of a medicine that can "cure that..."

54. hide in the aisles. jump out and scare strangers.

55. sit in the floor in the television display area. arrange yourself so that people have to step over you.

56. storm in and scream that they sold you bad merchandise, yell as loud as you can that you are going to get everyone you know to go on strike, and then smile a sheepish grin and say quietly, "oops, wrong store..."

57. if it's Christmas, hide between the pine trees. if caught, say you like the smell.

58. randomly let out short (but LOUD) high-pitched screams.

59. try to have a meaningful conversation with total strangers. "so how do you feel about abortion? ...yeah, i hear ya... so what about gay rights?"

60. when it's your turn in line for the cashier, jump on top of the conveyor belt and start dancing.

61. visit the grocery section for a few snacks. Then look for a comfortable chair. Take all this to the electronics section, & set up to watch a movie. Loudly complain to anyone who blocks your view.

62. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

63. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

64. Bounce all the bouncy balls around the aisles.


66. Sing Mary had a Little Lamb very loud(or any nursery rhyme) over and over again.

67. Go around pulling down the employees pants.

If you liked those, Here's 70 ways to annoy ppl...IN AN ELEVATOR!

1. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

2. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

3. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

4. Blow spit bubbles.

5. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

6. Bring a chair along.

7. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

8. Carry a blanket ... and clutch it protectively.

9. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

10. Do Tai Chi exercises.

11. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

12. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

13. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

14. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

15. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up ..., dang it, all of you just shut UP!"

16. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

17. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" LMAO!!

18. Lean against the button panel.

19. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

20. Leave a box between the doors.

21. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

24. Meow occassionally.

25. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.

26. Wear your name tag upside-down.

27. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

28. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

29. One word: Flatulence!

30. Play the harmonica.

31. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

32. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

33. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

34. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

35. Shadow box.

36. Shave.

37. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

38. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

39. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

40. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

41. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

42. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

43. Start a sing-along.

44. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

45. Walk onto the elevator holding a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

46. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

47. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

48. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

49. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, dang motion sickness!"

50. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

51. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

52. Drop a dollar, and when someone goes to pick it up for you, shriek, "THAT'S MINE!!"

53. Lick Gummy Bears and stick them to the walls.

54. Play with the emergency telephone.

55. When only one other person's on the elevator, pass gas and then insist the other person farted.

56. Rip a plushie toy's head off, and when someone comes into the elevator, put on a police hat and tell them that there has been a murder and you would like to take them in for questioning.

57. Run back and forth banging into as many people possible, screaming that you're claustrophobic.

58. Spit ball the ceilng so that little pieces of paper keep falling on people's heads.

59. Ask people what floor they're going to, and then press every button but theirs.

60. Stare at someone coldly until they ask what is wrong, and then say that they're standing on your imaginary friend.

61. Shove a whole bag of pop-rocks in your mouth, and then stick out your tongue so that passengers can hear and see the action.

62. Give passengers coupons for a free ice cream, and then wink suggestively.

63. Put a welcome mat by the doors, and then demand that everyone wipe their feet before entering.

64. Bring a notepad, and scribble furiously while looking at other people. If they try to see what you're writing, pull away muttering something about "Violating personal space."

65. Set up a chair and desk in the elevator, and whenever anyone gets on, say, “Hello! Welcome to my office. Do you have an appointment?”

66. Whenever someone steps in the elevator in a deep voice say, “GET OUT!”

67. Act like you are having a seizure.

68. Break dance to elevator music.

69. Jump at each floor to make the elevator bounce.

70. Drop a bag of groceries and look around like it was the other peoples fault.

HAHAHA!! wow.. I'm pathetic... AND... I've got WAY too many copy and paste thingy's on my profile... HAHAHA!! I'm laughing cuz I don't really care!! :)

Take 3 minutes and try will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

43 Things to do when you're bored

Things to do when you're Bored:
1) Scream at a squirrel
2) Try to Laugh and moo at the same time
3) Take a picture of a picture of someone taking a picture
4) Call a ranodm number and start a conversation with them
5) Wake up your neighbors
6) Egg your own house
7) Staple a pencil
8) Read a dictionary
...Rip your clothes to shreds and tell your parents it was your cat ( even if you dont have a cat)
9) Bite your teeth
10) Go through the drive through , order 21 cheeseburgers and drive away. The person after you will end up paying for them.
11) Play frisbee with yourself by standing in front of a mirror and throwing the frisbee with great force.
12) Collect live pigeons
13) Take pictures of things you wrote in mayo or ketchup
14) Throw a ball at your neighbors house
15) Eat your favorite sweater
16) Knit a pencil
17) Crochet a computer
18) Break up with your girlfriend/ boyfriend
19) Start an argument with one of your friends
20) Call your math teacher and talk to them about your science homework
21) Scream everytime someone says ' banana'
22) Make a video of yourself interviewing a pair of scissors
23) Break your own glasses
24) When your parents tell you to wash the dishes, answer the phone, etc. Throw a big tantrum and break all the pencils and tear up the phonebook
25) CAll up your friend and when they say 'hello?' yell "SHUT UP! I dont want to talk to you why did you call me?"
26) Go 78 miles over the speed limit, slow down, speed up.
27) DO a presentation about bamboo in front of your family
28) enter the drive through backwards
29) At the drive through say 'may i take your order?
30) Drive through with someone on the hood toget the food
31) Throw a basketball at the ceiling fan
32) Laugh nonstop, even if there's nothing funny
33) Vacuum your lawn
34)Have your pillow X-rayed
35)Wash a tree
36)WRite a letter to Venus, mail it
37)Take your sofa for a walk
38) Dial 911 and breathe heavily
39)Play dead
40)Throw marshmallows against the wall
41)Count your belly button
42)Mug a stop sign
43) Harness chipmunk power

I swear, I probably have 1 of the longest profiles ever. HAHAHA!!

Even MORE.

If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your avice to me was right.The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put " Mommy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mom!"
So I love you and good-bye.

Don't Drink And Drive. You aren't only putting your life in danger, but someone elses as well.

29 reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike english, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

REMEMBER: A good friend gives you bail money when you're in jail - a best friend will be sitting next to you and saying "Man, that was fun!"

A blonde girl is driving down the road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat.She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field,'Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?'The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.'

The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field,

'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.'

The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again.

The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling,'If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your butt!"

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'and the other one said,

'No they look like moose tracks.'

They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

One day this blonde calls her friend and says,'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't even figure out how to start it.'

Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'

The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'

Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.

He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'

She asks, 'Oh, how come?'

He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a 'scratch and sniff' sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why don't blondes like making Kool Aide from sachets?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the packet.

Did you bear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
They went to see 'Closed for Winter'.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
'Look! They spelled Macy's wrong.'

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home.

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!'

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror. (Ha, my fave)

The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash the blonde ran out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, 'I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind policeman!'

For me, crazy is a loose term.

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.

Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least).

Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care.

Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction.

Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you.

Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striaght WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it."

Crazy is when you get sugar high and jump on your trampoline yelling "Japeth" because the name intrigues you, while your rellies are there.

Crazy is when you laugh so hard that Fanta comes out your nose and then you scream "THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!"

Hugged your Christmas tree while humming 'Carol of the Bells'.

Walked for an hour in the snow, slipping and picking up snow at random places, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and a sweater with and pajama pants, went home, sat down and ate ice cream.

If you're going to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?'

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.

Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.

If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "Darn we sure screwed up!

Why is rap so named? Becasue the'c' fell off at the printer.

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Constipated people don't give a crap.

Music is like candy - you throw away the rappers.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your handin front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER

Don't follow in my footsteps... I walk into walls.

When in doubt, wear pink.

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry.

Adults are just kids with money.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did that.

TGWF: Thank God We're Female

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

A good friend will wipe your tears when you get rejected, but a best friend will prank call the boy and say, "You will die in seven days!"

"Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake

Christmas lights: To be used for indoor or outdoor use only (as opposed to...?)

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!


If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Wierd things I have learned So far:

There are over 122 flavors of pocky.

Hello kitty wedding rings exist.

Hamsters have periods... -_-'

Spinach Ice cream...

Egg pants...pants for eggs...eggs for pants...pant eggs...

Eyelashes don't grow back if you cut them...

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

EMO--Extravagently Made Origami

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Failure Is Not An Option; It's Inevitable (Can't avoid)

I'm No Physician, But There Appears To Be A Dagger Through My Chest.

"With all due respect Dr. Cooper, are you on crack?"

Pasty and Frail, Never Fail

Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.

Yeah, yeah, ah, see here's the thing, after you leave, I still have to live with him.

No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.

National tresure quotes

Riley: Prison... huge. You are gonna go to prison. You know that, right?
Ben: Yeah, probably.
Riley: Well... that would... bother most people.

Patrick: And he dragged you two into this nonsense?
Abigail: Literally.
Riley: I volunteered.

Riley: Why can't they just say, 'go to this place, and here is the treasure; spend it wisely'?

Riley: You don't know this? I know something about history that you don't know.
Ben: I'd be very excited to learn about it, Riley.
Riley: Hold on one second, let me just take in this moment. This is cool. Is this how you feel all the time? W-well, except now.

Ben: Meet me at the car. Call me if you have any problems.
Riley: Like if we get caught and killed?
Ben: Yeah - that would be a big problem.

Riley: Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

Powell: How do a bunch of guys with hand tools build all this?
Ben: Same way they built the pyramids - and the Great Wall of China.
Riley: Yeah... the aliens helped them.

Riley: Yeah, someone that did something in history and had fun. Great. Wonderful.

Ben: Riley, what do you see?
Riley: Death and despair! Mostly death. Uh, I mean a little despair, the last few seconds. But then a hard, sudden death.

Security Guard: The fire alarm is going off!
Riley: Uh-oh! God save the Queen!

Riley: The last time I checked, we make our living off crazy.

Ben: This doesn't make any sense.
Riley: As if these clues ever do.

Ben: Someone else is after the treasure.
Riley: Of course someone else is after the treasure. It’s the axiom of treasure hunting.

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!


You're probably thinking when does it END?! Well, honey. I can tell you it doesn't end here.


A good friend vs. A BEST friend

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Which one are you?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11657 - Favs: 9,672 - Follows: 6,688 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Foreign Hottie by blackxout reviews
Edward Cullen is a foreign exchange student from London who comes to live with the Swans for a whole year. Bella Swan couldn’t be anymore upset over the fact that a boy has to share a room with her. Could her feelings toward him ever change? OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 46,181 - Reviews: 4998 - Favs: 2,633 - Follows: 2,765 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 4/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
SLUT by MistiFawn reviews
Bella broke up with her boyfriend who still wants her,has cute neighbor that stalks her, and a her best friend's sexy emo cousin she wants pays no attention to her.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,601 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Bella, Edward
Goodbye and Goodnight by glamourzXfakebestfriend reviews
Based on Twilight.My name is Lily.Me and Miley moved to a small Mountain town after Miley's secret was exposed.At our new School there's two reasons why I shouldn't like this boy. 1.He is the hottest boy in school and 2. Joe is a vampire.LOE and NILEY
Hannah Montana - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 18 - Words: 59,520 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 5/27/2008 - Published: 3/26/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

If I Had One Wish reviews
Two girls get the chance of a lifetime. They get one wish. And what happens to be that wish? To have as many wishes as their hearts desired. I mean, what could possibly go wrong...? A WHOLE LOT. Please note-this story has nothing to do with the category
Misery - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,612 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009
Poems reviews
Before ANYONE says ANYTHING: This, I'm sorry to say for all you Twilight fans, has nothing to do with Twilight. These are, as the title implies, poems... Random poems, at that. Read if you want. If you don't... That's fine too.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/16/2009
Diary Of A Lonesome Girl reviews
A girl who was kicked out of her own house because of something that wasn't her fault. While trying to get a decent life in place, some of her old life returns. The only question is: is that good or bad? And when HE finds her diary, what happens?
Misery - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,748 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 2/4/2009
Should've Walked Away reviews
Alexis is your average girl with a few exceptions. Okay, so she isn't average. With a drunk mom, her dad never being around, and friends betraying her, what does she result to? She decides to run away.
Misery - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,238 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4/2009