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Joined 02-05-09, id: 1828450, Profile Updated: 06-14-13
Author has written 29 stories for Vertigo, Dark Tower series, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Book Thief, Doctor Who, Stand, Sandman, Hunger Games, Torchwood, Avatar: Last Airbender, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Twilight.

Hello there, fellow perusers of the written word. You may call me Jormy, if you wish. Or indeed anything else. I dislike enormous profiles, so I'll try to keep mine brief:

I'm twenty, British, and about to start studying anatomy, with an eye to getting into medicine. I'm an artist, incidental poet, and writer, with an interest in steampunk and fantasy. I mostly fangirl over books, being the nerd that I am, and I am an avid Stephen King fan. As the more astute of you may have noticed (or at least, those of you who know Norse mythology) from my account name, I am also a massive mythology nerd - actually, philosophy, history, and humanities in general, but mythology in specific. I am foul-mouthed as hell, but this being a PG site, I try to keep that to a minimum on here.

I have a bad habit of starting new fics when I should be updating old ones. Because I write when the muse descends and generally not before, I am a very slow updater. I apologise if that means that a fic you were hoping to see updated goes for months without a new chapter. Sometimes it helps to give me a kick in the ribs and remind me that those fics exist. I also have ME/CFS, a neurological fatigue condition which means I have to manage my energy carefully or face a) pain, b) random spasms and/or c) ungodly tiredness. This means - as I have other priorities beyond fanfiction - that I'm even slower to update than I would otherwise be, and is why I won't impose chapter deadlines on myself, because while I don't currently have school to take precedence, I'm still trying to cut down on stress.

Concrit is an amazing thing, and if you leave helpful criticism (or constructive compliments, like "I love the way you did such-and-such" or "my favourite part was such-and-such"), I will pretty much love you forever. I'm fairly unlikely to edit the chapter unless the problem is glaring and ruins everything, because, well, I'm pretty lazy, but I promise you I will always take concrit on board when writing other things. Life's a learning process, and I won't be hurt if you say "this fic is terrible because this, that, and the other." If you just say "this fic is terrible", well, I might be a little hurt by that. I hope this over-laboured point is getting across; I'd rather have constructive criticism than unhelpful compliments. Basically, though, whatever you review is appreciated.

And I hope you enjoy my work!


STORY STATUSES:

BLOODlight (HP/Twilight) - technically still active, but extremely slow to update because I have to read Twilight to work on it, and honestly, I have enough terrible literature on my plate with snarking 50 Shades.

Mach Mich Stumm (Book Thief) - on indefinite hiatus, because honestly I can't remember where I was going with it.

Middle-Earth And How I Saved It (LotR) - dead in the water. Will probably never be completed, not going to lie.

Old Time's Sake (Hellblazer/Torchwood) - I keep meaning to get around to it, and I keep forgetting.

Place Beyond The Sun (Hellblazer/Dark Tower) - one of these days, when I reread DT and have a few more Hellblazer trades to refer to, I'm going to rewrite this. This version, however, will never be updated.

Police Boxes And Improbability Drives (Dr Who/HHGTTG) - indefinite hiatus.

Stand Your Ground (Hunger Games) - active. Expect a chapter soonish.

The Butterfly Effect (LotR) - indefinite hiatus, for the same reasons as Mach Mich Stumm.

This Sceptred Isle (The Stand) - dead in the water. My sister took her copy of The Stand to university with her, and I have no reference material.

With Grace In Your Heart (HP) - active. Expect a chapter soonish.

All other stories are completed.


FINDING ME AROUND THE INTERNET:

Tumblr (where I store my art, poetry, and original fiction, among other stuff)
DeviantART (long-abandoned, but has a lot of archived stuff)
A03 (currently a mirror of this account, but with one extra fic and possibly more to come)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... Ch. 101, Precautionary Measures: Pt. 2.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 101 - Words: 561,157 - Reviews: 23752 - Favs: 13,394 - Follows: 12,303 - Updated: 12/11/2013 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
If Bella Were Sane by The One Called Demetra reviews
The events of Twilight, had Bella been the only sane woman in the Twilight universe. Diarystyle. T because normal teenagers don't say 'Holy crow' when they swear.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,675 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ebony comes to Camelot by jedichild reviews
Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way arrives in Camelot. Poor Merlin is scarred for life.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,113 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/22/2011 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
How 2 B a ttly awsum fanfikshun riter by The One Called Demetra reviews
In which Demetra instructs the world in the mystical way of the fanfic. Parody
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,147 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Complete
Breaking Up by Faba reviews
Liesel and Rudy fight. What will it take to bring them together again?
Book Thief - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 709 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Liesel M., Rudy S.
Death and the Leaf on the Wind by Raven Aorla reviews
Part III of my "Death Through the Fandoms" series. Because every beloved character deserves Neil Gaiman's Death to greet them, most especially Joss Whedon's Wash. Neither character is mine, sigh.
Crossover - Sandman & Firefly - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 430 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/20/2009 - Wash
This Thing Called Love by Shadow Padawan reviews
10 short moments from Roland's youth with Bert. Slash. Mostly hurt/comfort.
Dark Tower series - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 281 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/14/2009
Mates and Motorbikes by ExplodingWeekend reviews
Sirius introduces Remus to his one true love. Remus isn't very pleased. Probably not what you're expecting!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 623 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
The Brave and the Bold and the Slightly Illegal by Gogol reviews
Being the swashbuckling story of the JUSTICE LEAGUE OF ANKH-MORPORK, an insidious band of vigilantes whose evil might be thwarted only through the efforts of mild-mannered journalist SAM VIMES JR., his father's ghost, & eighteen dead, goldfishy sidekicks!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 41,954 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 12/12/2008
Oh Rudy by ReaderFOUR reviews
"Liesel, his hair is the colour of lemons. I wish you would come and see it for yourself." Rudy Steiner wants his kiss. And what is a bomb to disrupt a child's dream? ONE-SHOT.
Book Thief - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,465 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Liesel M., Rudy S. - Complete
With a Smile by marginaliana reviews
The first time Owen died he made a friend. Torchwood and Discworld crossover, written for the LJ gen battle
Crossover - Discworld & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 524 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Owen H. - Complete
Misery Loves Company by Sassy Lil Scorpio reviews
Annie Wilkes is obsessed with Misery, so why doesn't she write her own Misery stories? While struggling to overcome writer's block, Paul Sheldon wonders if his fans write stories about his famous characters and what scenarios they come up with.
Misery - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,051 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Complete
This Is How The Universe Ends by shewhoguards reviews
EXCUSE ME, he said, not impolitely. BUT YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
Crossover - Discworld & Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,993 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/20/2008 - Complete
Fox Ears by The Starhorse reviews
The Weasley family is deep in mourning after the battle of Hogwarts, but George has better ideas than to sit around and cry about something he'd rather just fix. And Charlie believes he can do it. Post DH, Charlie's POV.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,648 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 1,157 - Follows: 85 - Published: 1/13/2008 - George W., Charlie W. - Complete
Fractured by Sassy Lil Scorpio reviews
The cops found Annie Wilkes in her barn, dead, her hand gripping a chainsaw. She was a bloody mess with blisters coating her exposed belly, and her skull was fractured. Her mind, however, had been broken for quite some time... -Book and Movie Universe.-
Misery - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,481 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 28 - Published: 12/15/2006 - Complete
Hellblazer: Hogwarts by Camwyn reviews
Sometimes, life bashes you upside the head with a brick in a sock. Hogwarts is about to get its latest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, a man cast adrift from his native world- a man named John Constantine.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 10 - Words: 46,555 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 480 - Updated: 1/22/2006 - Published: 7/24/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

With Grace In Your Heart reviews
Since they first met, Severus Snape's life has revolved around one person; Lily Evans. In their seventh year, she decides to change all that... by setting him up with someone else. But as he is brought face-to-face with the conflicts and struggles of his past, present, and future, the repercussions may be greater than anyone guessed. First War AU, Severus/OFC.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 41 - Words: 82,611 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 4/12 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Severus S., OC
The Fourth Door reviews
Days after Jack Mort and the confrontation on the beach, a fever-mad Roland spots the fourth door over the dunes. Brief and fairly abstract, just a little what-if. Crossover. Gen.
Dark Tower series - Rated: K - English - Western/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 861 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2013 - Roland D., Susannah D., Eddie D. - Complete
Stand Your Ground reviews
It doesn't matter what the 42nd Hunger Games bring. Twins, politicians, Careers and criminals; anger and fear and maybe, just maybe, the spark of rebellion... it doesn't matter. The cameras will keep rolling; the Games must go on.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 29,216 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/26/2013 - Published: 3/23/2012 - Other tributes
District Sleeps Alone Tonight reviews
Twenty years after the events of Mockingjay, Gale goes back to District Twelve, and is forced to face his demons. Oneshot inspired by the Frank Turner song.
Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Gale H. - Complete
BLOODlight reviews
Bella Black and Bella Swan - one's a sadistic seventh-year Slytherin, the other's a 'normal' and adorably clumsy teenage hormone-heap. What happens when they suddenly swap lives? Well, a bloodbath in Forks, to start with... Violent, bloody fun!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,960 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bellatrix L., Bella
The Butterfly Effect reviews
Changes ripple outwards from any action. A butterfly flaps its wings; a hurricane begins. A strange boy from another world saves Boromir's life; the storm that begins could destroy Arda forever. Tenth Walker, gen, character death. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,405 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 4/22/2009
Last Summer reviews
August, 1977, Spinner's End, and Severus can't take it any more. Rated for swearing and violence; triggers for abuse.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,859 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Published: 6/5/2011 - Severus S., Tobias S. - Complete
Don't Touch
The touch has a mind of its own sometimes - and how is Alain supposed to avoid the one part of his friends' minds he least wants to intrude on? A very short Alain/Susan oneshot.
Dark Tower series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 824 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Complete
This Sceptred Isle reviews
The superflu spreads like wildfire, and an ocean was never going to be enough to contain it. This is the story of a new Britain, after the end of the world.
Stand - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,590 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/26/2010
Old Time's Sake reviews
From 1898 to 2011, two sets of letters pertaining to one Jack Harkness... and the troubles he brings along with him. Post- and pre- canon, Jack/Constantine... well, Jack/everyone, really. With lots of shoutouts to other fandoms.
Crossover - Vertigo & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,716 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5/25/2010 - Published: 5/24/2010
Take My Hand reviews
There's a face Jack compares every lover to - pale skin, dark eyes, and a silver ankh around her neck. There's more than one who got away. Jack/Death oneshot, spanning from his first death to his last.
Crossover - Sandman & Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,998 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Death, Jack H. - Complete
The Meaning Of Life reviews
A simple question - what if Rudy hadn't died in the Himmel Street blast? This is my answer. AU, obviously. Rudy/Liesel. Now finished and edited.
Book Thief - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,539 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Liesel M., Rudy S. - Complete
Mach Mich Stumm reviews
As the war draws to a close, Rudy, Liesel, Max, and Alex must begin to rebuild their shattered lives. AU; sequel to The Meaning Of Life. Rated T for... well, Holocaust. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS.
Book Thief - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,526 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 30 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Max V., Rudy S.
Pink Moon reviews
Some things hurt worse than hatred. Dream sequence, probably set halfway through the first book, but with spoilers throughout.
Dark Tower series - Rated: K - English - Angst/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,569 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Complete
To Your Health reviews
Regulus' final moments. Thought-tracking, gen, one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,227 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 13 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Regulus B., Kreacher - Complete
Post Mortem reviews
After Sirius falls through the veil, he finds himself face-to-face with an unexpected piece of his past - and a stark reminder of the road that brought them both there. Gen-fic, rated T for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,339 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Sirius B., Regulus B. - Complete
Womanly Wiles reviews
A Valentine's Day potion goes disastrously wrong, leaving Sirius with pink hair, Peter two feet tall, and James... well, about James... Pure crack, involving genderbending, gratitous hair angst, and a good dollop of WTF.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,496 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/22/2009 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
Place Beyond The Sun reviews
What if the third door had not led to Jack Mort at all, but to another? A man as cynical, battle-hardened, and ruthless as Roland himself - what if it had led to John Constantine? Hellblazer/Dark Tower crossover, spanning most of the DT series. ABANDONED.
Crossover - Vertigo & Dark Tower series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,802 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009
MiddleEarth And How I Saved It reviews
My name is Siltasuvi Araeina Smith, and I am the one fated to save Middle-Earth. No, really. Why are you looking so disbelieving? ON INDEFINITE HIATUS
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,054 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/18/2009 - Published: 5/6/2009
Police Boxes and Improbability Drives reviews
Zaphod is very good at breaking things. Especially shiny things with lots of buttons. Things like the TARDIS, for example... Somebody suggested it on Fandom!Secrets and I somehow ended up writing it. Ninth Doctor/HHGTTG crossover. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS until I can rewatch Nine's run.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,377 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009 - 9th Doctor
The Hollow Men reviews
You don't have to die to lose your life. A quick look at a plague survivor. Title and inspiration both taken from TS Eliot's massively overquoted poem of the same name.
Stand - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,007 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Complete
Dear Sirius reviews
After Sirius fell through the veil, Remus sits down to write him a letter. One-shot, thought-tracking. Written quite a while ago. Slight puppyshipping, if you squint.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,163 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Something On Your Back reviews
After leaving the Doctor, Donna has to get on with her life. But something is nagging at the back of her mind... Oneshot. Written directly after the Christmas episode, so not exactly show-accurate any more.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Donna N. - Complete
Light In Your Window reviews
-I was riding through the darkness, and I thought I had forgotten your face- Faramir muses on what has come before. Short and sweet; a FaramirxEowyn oneshot.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Faramir, Eowyn - Complete
Pai Sho And Tea reviews
Has anyone ever thought what would happen if all the wise old men got together? Iroh, Dumbledore, Gandalf, Merlyn, and the First Doctor get together to discuss life, the Universe, and everything over tea and pai-sho. Crackish one-shot.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,017 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Albus D., Iroh - Complete
From Beneath A Burning Sun reviews
There are two sides to every fight, without exception. This is the untold story of the War of the Ring, seen from the losing side; the Haradrim are fighting for land, for honour, and for vengeance. Two sides in every fight, and both have their reasons.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,293 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/2/2009 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Complete
The River Flows South reviews
Faramir's reaction to Boromir's death runs deep. This is my interpretation of it. One-shot, thought-tracking.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,278 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Faramir - Complete
There's A First Time For Everything reviews
Remus was just trying to do his homework in peace. Now he's being attacked by drunken Marauders with the aim of making him equally drunk. What did he ever do to deserve this? Marauder's Era, one-shot, no pairing. Pure, unadulterated crack.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,142 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Fear and Fearlessness reviews
A stream-of-consciousness piece about the end of 'Exit Wounds', with a twist. You don't have to have read the Dark Tower series to get this crossover, but it probably helps. Owen's POV.
Crossover - Dark Tower series & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,350 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Owen H. - Complete
Mary West (60)