Justfreezethemoment20
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Joined 02-06-09, id: 1830026, Profile Updated: 12-14-12
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Hi! I'm a 19 year old college student who studies Art.

I love to read, I love the color green and I absolutely love movies. Right now I'm pretty into Hunger Games but I also enjoy Harry Potter and Twilight. My favorite couples of all time are:

Katniss and Peeta/ HG

Ron and Hermione/ HP

Renesmee and Jacob/ Twilight

Will and Elizabeth/ Pirates of the Carribean

and many others...

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile. (Ugh, I had to sing Hot&Cold once for a dare. Not. Fun.)
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
If whenever you see a Volvo drive down the street you chase it screaming, "EDWARD!" copy and paste to your profile!
If you threw New Moon at a wall when you read to the part where Edward left Bella, copy/paste this to your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. ( I LOVE WAFFLES!! Now you can see why people call me insane. BLUEBERRIES SMELL FUNNY! This also proves the whole "insane" thing.)
If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy this into your profile.
If you want nothing more than to actually meet Erik in person, copy and paste this to you profile.
If you have seen a movie so many times that you have memorized almost all of the lines, and youstilllaugh at every punch line, copy this onto your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV... copy and paste this into your profile
You know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or myspace
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
Funny Quotes And Random Things:
- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
- Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
- I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...
- They say, "Guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG" I dont think you'd kill too many people.
- So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
- Yeah, I'm a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet.
- Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
- No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?
- When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
- When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
- I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
- Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
- Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
- I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!
- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.
- I live in my own little world. But it's okay, they know me there.
- The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
- Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.
- If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? (This is SO going to be my Senior Quote)
- Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
- You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
- Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
- I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.
- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
- When in doubt, make up words!
- Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
- If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.
- All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.
- I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.
- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.
- Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
- You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!
- Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!
- One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
- Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
- Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
- The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
- Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
- Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers.
- The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
- Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question... I wonder...
- My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.
- Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
- Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
- Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
- I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.
- Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.
- People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
- WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.
- If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.
- Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.
- I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OOH, LOOK! A SQUIRREL!
- Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
- There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
- Welcome to the internet, pants optional.
- Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.
- If I throw a stick, will you go away?
And then, the most AWESOME one in the world...
- I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock/Paper/Scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!"

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

I found this on someone's profile and thought it was so true and quite funny as well:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

93 of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're Defying Gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

LEGALIZING GAY MARRIAGE BECAUSE WHETHER IT BE BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!

If you are confuzzled by the fact that Mark is Jewish and yet his mother calls him to wish him a Merry Christmas, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.(omg i do that all the time!!)

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile (Actually, it was so bad it was funny)

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile.

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile. (They're fictional?)

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you sometimes spontaneously break into song, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you fight with your computer put this in your profile.

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you've ever created an awkward silence, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.),Phish Tacko (Marty McFly, Klaus Baudelaire, Alex P. Keaton) Sugary Snicket (Danny Phantom/Fenton in my early FFN days, Durza, Dexter Morgan, Sirrus) IamthePhantomoftheOpera (Erik/Phantom), Eriks angel 15(Remus Lupin, Erik/Phantom, Klaus Baudelaire, Arthur Weasley(teenager) (so cute with his muggle obsession), Jacob Black, Carlisle Cullen, Hatter Madigan sigh) thisisforyou(...put it this way, if I was in Marauder Era Hogwarts, I'd be Siriusly screwed. Everyone single in the whole HP universe. And a few I'm stealing from their girlfriends. Hatter Madigan, ARITHON S'FFALEN, Dwayne Hoover and Edward Fairfax Rochester, before the fire.) Evans17(Severus Snape(teenager), Prince Caspian, Harry Potter, Nathaniel... and tons of others. But mostly Snape! He's so...amazing...brave...tragic...), hp-tiwlight-grl (Draco Malfoy/Tom Felton) Seventeen4ever ( Danny Phantom, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Peter Pevensie, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black, Peeta Mellark)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice, Golden Eyed Vampire, vampgurl15,LxiPattz, KirstyClaire84, bella-edward-never-forget, Team-Edward-Forever95, seveteen4ever

Funny Stuff:

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a--.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Whoever said, "Nothing's impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?)

On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I blame the parents for that one)

Girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. If you would do this for someone too copy and paste this onto your profile.

Fun things to do on an Elevator (These are very funny!):

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH one of the buttons and pretend it gave you a shock. Smile, and then go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) Permanent marker fight!
24) Hum the "Spy theme song" then Ninja role off the elevator when it gets to your floor, shouting "I've got you now my pretty."
25) Wait for someone else to get on then when the door closes whisper "I've been waiting for you." Then get off at the next stop.
26) Randomly start screaming "The voises won't go away!"
27) Dance in the corner singing along to the music playing on your I-pod like you didn't realise another person got on with you.
28) Pretend your roasting marshmellows and offer anyone who gets on with you a smore.
29) When people get on the elevator welcome them to Narnia and warn them to watch out for the white witch.
30) ride up and down for no apparent reson just for the hell of it.

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Twilight

How long did it take you to read the books?

2 days for Twilight, 2 for New Moon, 2 1/2 for Eclipse and 3 for Breaking Dawn (I would read them during passing periods at school and at homw it would be the only thing I did)

Who introduced you to the books?

My friend mentioned Twilight but I didnt take much interest in it but then we watched the movie and I started to read them from there on.

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

I read Twilight from the school's libary, New Moon was borrowed as well as Eclipse then I bought Breaking Dawn and later on the rest.

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?

Renesmee

Who's your favorite vampire?

Emmett

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Jacob

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

Nudity was an inconvenient but unavoidable part of pack life. We’d all thought nothing of it before Leah came along. Then it got awkward.
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 13, p.259

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

The bed part in Eclipse when Edward comes back from hunting

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

The tent scene in Eclipse

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

Their grand theft auto moment

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

The fight in Eclipse

Which book cover was your favorite?

Twilight and Breaking Dawn are tied

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

yes

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?

New Moon

Eclipse or Twilight?

Twilight

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

Midnight Sun

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

Breaking Dawn

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward.

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward

Bella or Jacob?

Jacob

Bella or Alice?

Alice

Alice or Jacob?

Jacob

Rosalie or Alice?

Rosalie

Jasper or Alice

Alice

Jasper or Edward?

Edward

Carlisle or Esme?

Esme

Emmett or Jasper?

Emmett

Emmett or Jacob?

Jacob

Bella or Rosalie?

Rosalie

Esme or Charlie?

Esme

Charlie or Carlisle

Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?

Billy

Jacob or Sam?

Jacob

Sam or Quil?

Quil

Quil or Embry?

Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria

Werewolves or Vampires?

Werewolves.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos!
..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

Repost this if you laughed...


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A Tale of Ever After by knittingknots reviews
And they lived happily ever after - my vision of what InuYasha and Kagome's happily ever after is like in chapter fic form. This is gonna be long...
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 319 - Words: 712,641 - Reviews: 4577 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 879 - Updated: 3/21 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Inuyasha, Kagome H., Sango, Miroku
Phoenix Ashes by rubiesandrain reviews
Katniss and Peeta come home from the Victory Tour, engaged. But, what if they were never sent back into the 75th Hunger Games? Another take on Catching Fire.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,529 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 3/11/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M.
Alone in a Crowded Room by wollaston reviews
After suffering a serious injury at the hands of his mother, Peeta begins treatment with Mrs Everdeen. When Katniss is asked to help with his treatment things take an unexpected turn. AU set in District 12.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 267,697 - Reviews: 2355 - Favs: 1,766 - Follows: 1,420 - Updated: 5/24/2013 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
Come Rain or Come Shine by ArthursCamelot reviews
Sequel to My Last Breath. Katniss is the Mockingjay. Peeta is the tortured puppet of the Capitol. She is trying to be strong. He is simply trying to last the night. Eventually, they are reunited, but both of them have changed. Will they overcome their demons in order to defeat the Capitol and Snow? Or will another enemy prove to be their end? Strong T for dark themes. PK
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 175,395 - Reviews: 2038 - Favs: 1,081 - Follows: 518 - Updated: 4/15/2013 - Published: 1/14/2013 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
My Last Breath by ArthursCamelot reviews
Sequel to Someone To Watch Over Me. Peeta and Katniss have survived using more than wit and cunning. Their love is what ultimately saved them from the arena. But just because they're out of the arena, does that mean that the Games are over? Will they overcome new threats? Or will a surprise neither expected end it all? AU, but as canon as possible. P/K
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 35 - Words: 191,714 - Reviews: 1997 - Favs: 1,241 - Follows: 658 - Updated: 12/24/2012 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
The Way Back by katnissinme reviews
Post-Mockingjay, Pre-Epilogue, a story of how Peeta and Katniss find one another again, and begin anew. Friendship, romance, resilience, hope. Mostly Peeta & Katniss POV.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 120,148 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 12/7/2012 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E.
Simply Irresistible by bookworm1993 reviews
Draco gave a cocky grin. "I am going to give you a makeover." "I'm sorry what?" "You heard me Granger, I'm going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 77,235 - Reviews: 5325 - Favs: 8,827 - Follows: 3,354 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Paradise by CafeAime reviews
What if Katniss had found a way to convince President Snow of her love for Peeta? What if, along the way, she ends up convincing herself?
Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,601 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 9/27/2012 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M.
Lover's return spell by InNeedOfInspiration reviews
Hermione is in her fifth year. Like Harry and the other students, she can't forget what happened in the maze. But mostly, she's feeling guilty: she didn't help Diggory when he asked for it. Could bringing Cedric back to life be the perfect way to redeem herself?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 106,355 - Reviews: 378 - Favs: 352 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 8/27/2012 - Published: 7/18/2009 - Hermione G., Cedric D. - Complete
Trading Places by ct320 reviews
Katniss is taken by the Capitol at the end of Catching Fire. Peeta is forced to become the Mockingjay. Drama ensues...dun dun DUN!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 51,324 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 8/23/2012 - Published: 4/19/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
Mockingjay Hijacked by Hermia18 reviews
We were only ever told one side of the story in Mockingjay. This time we hear Peeta's story, how he was tortured and hijacked by the Capitol. How he found himself in a mind that didn't seem to belong to him. Nearly losing more than his life in the rebellion and how he slowly came back to himself, becoming the boy with the bread once again.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 44,576 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 7/26/2012 - Published: 6/26/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E. - Complete
What If by musicluver11 reviews
What If... Katniss had told Peeta that she loved him on their way home from the first Hunger Games? How would things be different? What would happen?
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,953 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 3/25/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E.
Waste by Tvainr reviews
Everyday that you want to waste, you can. Everyday that you want to change, I'll help you see it through cuz I just really want to be with you. After Mockingjay, pre-epilogue.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,111 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 6/15/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E.
Retribution by Margaritaville08 reviews
Peeta has always protected Katniss, after the hijacking leaves him scarred, Katniss will now have to try to bring back the man he once was. Pre-epilogue. M for lemons and language.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,893 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 567 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 2/3/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E.
The List by silvercistern reviews
"The list that Dr. Aurelius and I had made together was burning a hole in my pocket. A list of triggers. A list of things I should avoid." Peeta comes home. First installment of The Ashes of District Twelve Series.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,723 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 1,278 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 4/11/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E. - Complete
Young Blood by museofmirth reviews
Katniss and Peeta begin to rebuild their lives in District Twelve. A more introspective take on things between Katniss and Peeta as they grow back together end of Mockingjay, pre-epilogue . Please read and review!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 110,986 - Reviews: 613 - Favs: 601 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
Dancing in the Moonlight by PlatinumPizzaKiller reviews
"Peeta stands up, offering me his hand. "May I have this dance?" My eyebrows raise. "What, now? Here?" Fluff. Oneshot.
Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 985 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/24/2012 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
Growing New Wings by SkyLark89 reviews
Following their return to District 12 after the war, Katniss and Peeta grow back together.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,930 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 752 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 8/19/2011 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
The Healer by EllaRose00 reviews
The Cullen clan is back at high school but now with Jacob and Nessie. New friends and new problems for Nessie. Going to high school with your parents and trying to figure out your relationship with your best friend.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 78,327 - Reviews: 3112 - Favs: 1,818 - Follows: 945 - Updated: 9/8/2011 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Mine, Always by SkyLark89 reviews
One-shot: Katniss and Peeta are reunited in District 13. He's not hijacked and seeing him again makes her realize how much she cares about him. Fluff.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,508 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 66 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
A Different Kind of Love by evelyn-shaye reviews
Imprinting. Nessie had heard the word countless times. But did it apply to her and Jacob? And what would happen when a coven of non-vegetarian vampires intervened and revealed secrets never before imagined? New home, new high school, new love. Please R/R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 105,451 - Reviews: 273 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 4/13/2011 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
As One Heartbeat by twinley reviews
Missing Moment from Deathly Hallows. A sweet little one-shot revolving around Ron and Hermione after the war once they are all alone. It's an emotionally trying time, and Ron and Hermione find it easier to break down in the arms of someone they love.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,247 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
What the Room Requires by Alydia Rackham reviews
Hermione is the one who finds Draco weeping in the bathroom. He flees. She chases him into the Room of Requirement, and the room forces them to face their greatest fears together in order to find the door.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 111,887 - Reviews: 2696 - Favs: 3,254 - Follows: 747 - Updated: 2/10/2011 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Lions and Snakes and Love, Oh My! by SweetAngelofMusic reviews
Draco couldn't stand Hermione Granger. She drove him mad! But with her being Head Girl and him being Head Boy, it was hard to avoid her. But when all that rage builds up, it only takes so long before the tension has to be released...on eachother.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,642 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 12/20/2010 - Published: 10/19/2010 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Tent Times by sookieandsamfan reviews
Several Stories about some tender moments that happened between Ron and Hermione in the tent.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,949 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/12/2010 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Ron W., Hermione G.
If Tomorrow Never Comes by Emma Brown reviews
The Chamber of Secrets. I know it's been done to death but I couldn't help write my own take on it. Ron and Hermione destroy the horcrux and realise that it's now or never. Spoilers from DHP2.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,009 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/11/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Right Here by R.W. plus me reviews
"All's fair in love and war. And this is a little bit of both." The story of Ron and Hermione post-Deathly Hallows. Now complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 214,635 - Reviews: 1553 - Favs: 1,078 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Love but Forgiveness by kassidanae reviews
Takes place after Ron comes back in Deathly Hallows; Hermione's deciding whether to forgive Ron or not.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,152 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Hermione's Worst Nightmare by HeRonFan reviews
Unable to sleep after the torture, Hermione takes a potion that will exercise all her demons. Determined to make up for leaving her, Ron stays with her but will get more than he bargained for.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 27,525 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Muggle Born Revenge by HeRonFan reviews
Ron and Hermione head to the Chamber of Secrets before the Battle of Hogwarts. A stepping stone to the kiss that came out of nowhere in DH
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,047 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Quick Quotes Quill by EmRosey reviews
First 3 Quotes are old writing, continuing this in new style! A series of RonHermione drabbles inspired by quotes from any of the seven books. Feel free to suggest a quote you'd like to see! RHxHG RWHG
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,055 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/21/2010 - Published: 9/13/2007 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Snatched by allwaswell23 reviews
A missing moment in DH, set shortly after Ron's return. Hermione's dealing with mixed emotions over Ron and wanders too far from the tent, leading to a run-in with a snatcher. Seeing Hermione in danger leads Ron to a confession. Possible, but AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,765 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Complete
The Silver Doe:Deathly Hallows Missing Moments by Jen.RxH reviews
a collection of missing moments between Ron and Hermione in deathly hallows from beginning to end. I personally decided that they should have more moments like these... I wish I could come up with a better, artsier title but it's a great read. :D
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 20,415 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/11/2010 - Published: 3/5/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Questions by TMBlue reviews
Three days after the final battle at Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione begin a game of questions...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 71,905 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Ron and Hermione and the Deathly Hallows by Lyla Ride reviews
Haven't you always felt that there was some untold Ron and Hermione story in the Deathly Hallows? Well here are some of the scenes from the Deathly Hallows retold. Rated T, but not too bad on content.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,926 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/20/2010 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Next by TMBlue reviews
An AU story beginning the summer after 6th year when Hermione comes to the Burrow. What if relationships had changed a lot sooner than they did in DH? This story is what COULD have happened...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,258 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/15/2009 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G.
In the Library by septasonicxx reviews
Dramione. CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE! Hermione meets Draco in the library at night and is worried about him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,040 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
In the Dark of the Night by Iggity reviews
After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron finds that he cannot leave Hermione alone. Set during Deathly Hallows. Could be considered a missing moment. Rated T for language and suggestive themes. Previously HermyandRon. I'm still the same person, I promise!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,109 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Decisions by Holmzyj reviews
What if Edward didnt leave after Jasper attacked Bella? How would things have changed?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 54,328 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 4/12/2009 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Bella, Edward
Midnight Sun Continued by JT3883 reviews
Midnight Sun continued where Stephenie Meyer's beginning ended. Still under construction...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 38,171 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Bella, Edward
The First Time by LoveIsAzureBlue reviews
The title says it all - it's Ron and Hermione's "first time." Rated M for a reason but very romantic. Oneshot. Enjoy! Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,730 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Where You Belong by SlugClubMember07 reviews
Hermione's point of view throughout Deathly Hallows. It's mainly about what she's feeling at certain parts of the book. I tried my best to make everything allign to Deathly Hallows at some point. Obviously, there are spoilers. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,687 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Torture and Tenderness by LoveIsAzureBlue reviews
This is a missing scene from Deathly Hallows. What happened when Ron arrived at Shell Cottage with a tortured Hermione? First H.P. fanfic so please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,169 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Forgiveness, or lack of by lily M. Potter reviews
Harry had not expected Hermione’s anger to abate overnight...All three of them returned to the tent when darkness fell, and Harry took first watch.” Deathly Hallows Missing moment. The first time Ron and Hermione are left alone together after Ron's return
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,886 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Everyday From Right Now by pacifickay reviews
Life after the war starts right now. And everyday, Ron and Hermione will face it all: Funerals, decisions about school and jobs, rebuilding families, at large Death Eaters, blissful moments with friends and, above all else, finally being together.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 80,926 - Reviews: 713 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 295 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 8/15/2007 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Perfect by loveadubdub reviews
Another missing moment from DH. This one post battle. Ron and Hermione!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,814 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
He Must've Known You'd Always Come Back by ApocalypsePony316 reviews
Ron's point of view after he storms out of the tent on the riverbank. How does he cope with the knowledge that he's let them...her...down? SPOILERS FOR TDH Rating bc of mild language, and I'm paranoid. Merlin's pants! Lucky number 7! COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,904 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/5/2007 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
The Moment by pacifickay reviews
Is this the moment? For Ron and Hermione, it was...[Oneshot]...DH spoilers
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,062 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 7/23/2007 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Perfectly Flawed by dolphingirl0113 reviews
[IYFG Winner Best Oneshot] Inuyasha began to feel the cruel stab of jealousy. How was he supposed to compete with a copy of himself? A better copy? Someone without all of his flaws? “Kagome…please don’t leave me…”
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,950 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 764 - Follows: 79 - Published: 12/10/2005 - Inuyasha, Kagome H. - Complete
Therapeutic by everstar reviews
One-shot. Kagome's not feeling well. Inuyasha helps.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,192 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 33 - Published: 9/14/2004 - Inuyasha, Kagome H. - Complete
Summertime in Forks reviews
Do you ever wonder what Bella's "best summer ever" was like after Twilight, this is my take on it. First fan fic.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,601 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/24/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete