UslessEpiphany26
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Joined 02-08-09, id: 1832377, Profile Updated: 04-28-10
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight.

I'm Bethany. Early Twenties. English major, writing minor.

Just a lonely student with a Twilight obsession, hoping to become a big-shot editor some day...

In the mean time, I need to worry about how I'm going to pay back all these god-awful student loans

Email me UslessEpiphany26@gmail.com

Breaking Dawn -yes, I actually liked it. I almost always skip The Dog's book, though.

Eclipse -Jacob is an maniputive asshole but I now understand that Bella's realization that she loved him to just made her love for Edward that much more powerful. The fact that she COULD have this great future but she throws it all away is the most beautiful declaration of love. Ever.

NOTE: I have read the script for Eclipse and it is AMAZING.

New Moon -I hated it WITH A PASSION when I first read it, but looking back after I've seen the movie 5 times on the big screen alone; I think it's "sort of beautiful". Like Eclipse, I now understand that it was critical to the story to have that conflict and angst. Otherwise, Edward would forever wonder if Bella really loved him as much as he did her and if he made the right choice in changing her.

Translations!

Delightful Dessert

in Spanish by sabricullen- ..Delightful Dessert..


Emmett is the Strongest,
Edward is the fastest,
But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous.


And so the artist fell in love with the drug addict.”

What a stupid artist.”

What a sick, manipulative drug addict.”

-Daddy’s Little Cannibal, ‘Cigarette Burns’

RIP

Stephanie

AKA Daddy's Little Cannibal

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

GYNAZOLE by Mrs.TheKing reviews
Bella has to fill an embarrassing prescription. Mr. Cullen is the pharmacist there to greet her. Rated M for every reason my twisted mind can come up with. ExB God help us if there is a lemon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,442 - Reviews: 10381 - Favs: 2,815 - Follows: 2,373 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Day The Earth Stood Still by Sare Liz reviews
An AU rewrite of the entire series, largely from Edward's POV. -Winner of two Mystic Awards.- Outtakes found in DVMR.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 337,124 - Reviews: 5238 - Favs: 3,593 - Follows: 2,950 - Updated: 2/10/2014 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Modeling With My Best Friend's Brother by ELELNeko-kun reviews
Bella lives with her sister Rosalie, who just got her a job modeling for the famous painter Alice Cullen. She is being forced to model with a man she is forbidden to see. With a body like his, how will she resist? Did I mention it's nude modeling?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,053 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 2/26/2013 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Bella, Edward
My Sweet Thing by An End Has A Start reviews
Bella Swan's world is about to be turned upside down when she meets a strange boy named Bronze. His child like attitude is just what she needs to step down off the pedestal she lives upon. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 60,671 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 3/11/2012 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Bella, Edward
Reboot by Diana Law reviews
It's near the end of Breaking Dawn and the Volturi Confrontation does NOT end peacefully. They attack and Bella and Edward both die. So how come it's Bella's first day in Forks, all over again? BxE, AU Lemons & Fluff Continued From Athey! COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 170,767 - Reviews: 1648 - Favs: 2,079 - Follows: 1,000 - Updated: 2/25/2012 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Beautiful Savage by readingmama reviews
After getting lost in the woods on a camping trip, Bella finds a man who is living a different life. Can two such different worlds mesh when communication is nearly impossible?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 72,591 - Reviews: 4181 - Favs: 2,898 - Follows: 1,687 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 4/1/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hello by BellsNWhistles4Edward reviews
phone conversation- WIP
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,292 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 5/13/2011 - Bella, Edward
The Wall by MissThespian reviews
Edward and Bella live on two different sides of The Wall that seperates men and woman, created by the Volturi. Bella dreams of making it the other side, Edward wishes to merely to survive. Love is nonexistent. And illegal.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 24 - Words: 116,705 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 2/13/2011 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
PunchDrunk by DragonsExist reviews
AU/AH OOC E/B Edward moves to Portland to start college and a new chapter in his life. After meeting a brown-eyed girl, he wonders if love is truly blind.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 173,294 - Reviews: 1403 - Favs: 516 - Follows: 487 - Updated: 12/21/2010 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Edward, Bella
The King's Mistress by 2carm2carm2 reviews
In the age where men ruled the world, women were pawns in the vast game of chess that was the royal court. An intriguing and captivating tale of love, betrayal, lust and sex. "For, behold, the winter is past. The rain is over and gone."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 43 - Words: 124,988 - Reviews: 2271 - Favs: 2,426 - Follows: 1,052 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Letter by changedbyEdward reviews
Bella Swan, professor of English Lit in Seattle, hears the velvety voice of rapper Edward Cullen one day and it changes her life. What happens after she writes her fan letter to him is fate personified. AU/AH Canon pairings M for language, alcohol, etc
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 167,239 - Reviews: 3128 - Favs: 2,141 - Follows: 1,277 - Updated: 10/24/2010 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Goodnight, Noises Everywhere by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Bella is the only survivor of a virus which has killed off the human race. Is there anyone-anything-still alive on this dying planet? Entry for the Twilight 25 Challenge. Post-apocalyptic good times. Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 63,043 - Reviews: 2953 - Favs: 2,163 - Follows: 1,182 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Complete
Such Great Heights by SydneyAlice reviews
Edward Cullen is in desperate need of a nanny after his wife walks out on him and their five-year-old son. Bella Swan is a teacher with no job prospects. Can she find her true place in the world while helping father and son overcome their pain? AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 107,444 - Reviews: 9459 - Favs: 7,800 - Follows: 3,247 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Delayed Gratification by Sare Liz reviews
What if Edward did decide to lure her into the forest after that first Biology class, after all? Darkward. 2nd Place Winner for 'There Will Be Blood' Challenge.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,229 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 74 - Published: 6/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
Sunrise by BlueSea14 reviews
Twilight in Edward's point of view. Completed June 2010
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 42 - Words: 335,515 - Reviews: 2170 - Favs: 2,258 - Follows: 1,099 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 9/30/2006 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Black Velvet by twiXlite reviews
Graduation present for Shelby. Edward is the popular guy who feels alone no matter who he's with. Can taking a chance on an anonymous letter change that? And what about the shy girl he sits next to in Bio? Can she give him the comfort and love he needs?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,677 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 464 - Follows: 87 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Blood and Lust by AwesomeSauce76 reviews
Edward is having trouble balancing his urges for Bella's blood and Bella's body before the wedding. What started out as a simple "Practice Fic" has become a retelling of BD from EPOV that lets us see just how much he struggles for control at every turn.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 133,650 - Reviews: 1780 - Favs: 1,706 - Follows: 681 - Updated: 3/31/2010 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Visitation by radiofreeamy reviews
AH-AU What if Edward reacted violently while saving Bella that night at Port Angeles? Can Edward and Bella find themselves and love while Edward is incarcerated?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 59,979 - Reviews: 648 - Favs: 491 - Follows: 564 - Updated: 2/3/2010 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Edward, Bella
You Know Joy by My-Name-Is-Lady-Velvet reviews
A closer look at how Neytiri began to first teach Jake about her people.
Avatar - Rated: K - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,547 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 88 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Neytiri, Jake S.
The Very Thought of You by Babette12 reviews
Edward moves to Seattle on the eve of the American Civil War and meets Bella. A typical love story. All canon pairings, AU/AH, rated M for future chapters. Written around the o/s Going to Sleep.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 105,699 - Reviews: 872 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Tainted Love by HellaCullen reviews
Bella endures life with an extremely religious father. Edward suffers from an abusive home. Find out what happens when they get together and life becomes too real. Not every story has a happy ending. AU/AH, lots of angst and drama.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 72,571 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Bella, Edward
Backseat of a Greyhound Bus by Sweet Little Bullet reviews
She wore a dress with cherries on it, headed somewhere where she’d be wanted. He was on his way home, to the family that missed him so. Together they’d find love, on the backseat of a Greyhound bus. Edward/Bella, All Human. Very loosely based off the song
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,964 - Reviews: 794 - Favs: 698 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 9/12/2009 - Published: 9/21/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
War by LaBellaBella reviews
Set in the time of WW2, Bella Swan lives her life in a small town. She doesn't know what to think or feel when a group of soldiers comes home for a visit from the gruesome battlefields of Europe, led by a mysterious young Lieutenant General. All human, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 74,209 - Reviews: 818 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 454 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
My Little Princess by E.C. Cullen reviews
Losing her daughter in a crowd, Bella finds her in the arms of Prince Edward. Now, the three of them have to face the paparazzi, the world, and their true feelings for each other. All human, canon pairings, set in present day. ON HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 33,617 - Reviews: 880 - Favs: 869 - Follows: 925 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 6/2/2008
Stoically Stitched by Rosette-Cullen reviews
Bella's kept a secret that's eaten away at her. After a self-inflicted injury, she's put into a hospital that tests her strength. She'll find out who she can trust, and who she needs to stay away from. A darker fic.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 68,545 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 939 - Follows: 409 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
China Doll by Madame Meg reviews
All Bella ever wanted was love from her father, King Charlie. But when he starts to love her in the wrong way, she escapes, disguised. A vampire prince called Edward saves her from starvation, but can he save her from her father that pursues her? AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 87,553 - Reviews: 2317 - Favs: 1,295 - Follows: 1,458 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Bella, Edward
I'll Be Waiting by oh.you.fancy.huh reviews
Takes place during New Moon when Bella visits the Cullen house. Instead of walking away, she goes inside... read here to find out what happens! R&R! Please just try it out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,969 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Pretty Corpses by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
The Pretty Corpses is the first movie using vampire actors along with human actors. Edward and Bella are the main characters. A better summary is inside. Connected to All the Pretty Corpses NOT a sequel or rewrite! B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,542 - Reviews: 1263 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 425 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Bella, Edward
Saving Edward by twiXlite reviews
Edward Cullen is a lost & troubled teenager. Upon their discovery of his self harm and an eating disorder his family relocate to Forks where Edward meets Bella Swan. Can she help him work through his problems or will she push him further into depression?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 52 - Words: 179,000 - Reviews: 1498 - Favs: 1,467 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Poetry In Motion by eroticfan reviews
Art meets lust in Forks. This is - hell, I don’t know really. Mostly AU-Human, it’s not out there enough to be crackfic, although it’ll have its moments. Edward is a sensitive soul and budding poet, and Bella has a very special weakness for his poetry.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 25,626 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
You Got Love! by xxsparklesnick reviews
Isabella Swan has been crushing on her best friend's brother, Edward Cullen, for a while and at the same time she can't stand him. Her online friend has been there for her through it all, but what happens when his identity is revealed? All Human, ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,288 - Reviews: 1905 - Favs: 1,832 - Follows: 666 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Near Wild Heaven by greenlemons reviews
Bella is in heaven and spends her whole time watching Edward from above. What she's doing is wrong especially when she can't help herself from touching him...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,915 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 7/28/2008 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Taking Matters Into His Own Hands by Rosette-Cullen reviews
The night after Bella throws herself onto Edward, he can't stop thinking about her. After hours of debating with himself, he procedes to do something that would be frowned upon from his time era. ExE Lemony goodness.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,820 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 18 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
I Dream of Movies by SpringDaze reviews
While in a department store, Jasper and Bella become bored and start dancing to some music. They are discovered by the famous Edward and Alice Cullen. BxE AxJ RxEm CxEs. AU. Please review. Nice romantic comedy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,360 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 3/18/2008
Popsicle by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward is watching bella sleep, so when she starts talking, it's nothing unusuall, but when she LICKS him, he is slightly uncomfortable. EVEN BETTER!She wakes up and finds her tongue stuck to his arm, what will they do? How will Edward's family react?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,545 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 341 - Follows: 67 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Complete
Why I Love My Truck by sillybella reviews
Bella is always reluctant when Edward wants to buy her a new car. Is there a secret reason she likes her truck so much? And don't worry where they are driving. It doesn't matter.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 597 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 350 - Follows: 74 - Published: 2/1/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1717 - Favs: 3,119 - Follows: 630 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Just a Girl reviews
Moving to Forks after events landing her in the hospital -the normal kind and the OTHER kind- Bella seeks to start over with a new identity and live her life. But her story doesn't quite fit. Is she really who she says she is? Edward intends to find out.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 684 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/28/2010 - Edward, Bella
Indian Bella reviews
Bella is a Half Native American Quileute girl living on the rez with her father and younger sister. Edward is the middle class small town Attorney’s son. When he visits First Beach with his friends one day; his life changes. Set in 1967
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 450 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Bella, Edward
The End
One-Shot. The End is coming and Emmett looks back on what could have been.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 860 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Emmett - Complete
FireIce reviews
I am fire and he is ice. She stands between us, a victim of the elements. Without the slightest hesitation, she embraces him. Unafraid. Unfazed. Cold. Unyielding.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Itchy reviews
Bella has to go to the bathroom- really bad.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Bella
Delightful Dessert reviews
Something is makeing Bella moan. But it's not Edward. Funny.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete