Author has written 16 stories for Twilight.
WARNING, EXTREME TEAM JACOB HERE!
Hi! Here's a quick run through before I bore you to death with my world famous (in my head) rants.
Name: Amanda, MollyWollyRose, Molliere Veronique
Race: African American
Political views: Democratic-Left Wing, OBAMA ALL THE WAY!
Religion: Catholic, although I don't really care for some of it's policies.
Age: 17 BABY!
Likes: Snake on a Plane, Cake, Jacob Black, Leah Clearwater, the LaPush Wolfpack, Jacob's Renegade Wolfpack in BD, Rosalie Hale, Alice Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale, Esme and Carlisle Cullen, Charlie Swan, Real Housewives, New Moon/Eclipse/Jacob's part of Breaking Dawn, Wal Mart, T-Shirts, Skinny Jeans, MY job at the local arcade, Facebook, Cobra Starship, Dark Edward or Jacob or Carlisle or Jasper or Emmett or Wolfpack, Daria, Spaghetti Tacos, Tiramisu, Sushi, Taylor Lautner, BooBoo Stewart, My computer (which I named Jacob), Big Time Rush, Cartoon Network 1994-2005, Disney 2000-2007, Food Network Shows, Ke$ha, The Boondocks, Glee, every Meg Cabot book ever, and ITunes.
Dislikes: Isabella Marie Swan, Edward Cullen (every now and then.), Renesmee Cullen, Tragedies (real and fictional), rude people, breaking things, ghetto black people, when people chew their gum really loudly, not knowing the title to an awesome song, Twilight, Breaking Dawn, being sick, when parents get all lecture-y and mean when you tell them a funny story, dirty clothes, jerky boys, spending my own money, being itchy, stupid teachers, Fox News Network, Janelle of Teen Mom 2 and Miley Cyrus
Teams: JACOB, LEAH, BLACKWATER, BELLA'S TRUCK, TYLER'S VAN, JOLIE, RICHIE
I hate her.
Worse thing to ever happen to feminism. Ever. I think we're set back a couple THOUSAND years because of her.
I know, she is a fictional character, and yes, I also know that she is a total Mary-Sue whom Stephanie Meyer used as a thinly veiled, slightly better version of herself in her twisted fantasy of a book. I know, I know. Doesn't stop me from hating her guts. Not only is she a whiny bitch, but she is in denial about her whiny-bitchiness. I am whiny. I also have moments of extreme selfishness. I can freely admit this, and sometimes, I am even proud of it. I'M WHINY AND SELFISH AND I'M (sometimes) PROUD! Isabella, however, always WHINES about how unselfish she is, when in fact, she is one of the most selfish people in the world. If she were a real person, I'd happily beat her with a Bible until she turns into freakin' Mother Teresa. (That would probably take about three lifetimes.)
What I also can't stand is how everyone in the books talks about how strong, smart, and 'likable' she is for these various reasons.
- She bravely and 'unselfishly' moved to Forks to live with her father so her mother can travel with her boyfriend without worrying about her. (I can actually understand this decision. I wouldn't like being uprooted from place to place constantly, but still...)
-She immediately gets into an AP Biology course when she arrives at Forks High, which has to be the pinnacle of secondary education for that to be an achievement. Also, she has already read every book in her English class rubric, including that snappy page turner by Jane Austen. (I go to a very advanced high school myself, okay. I'm in AP Chem and Bio at the same time. I probably do more homework in a week than the students of Forks high have in a semester.)
-She listens to classical music. No really, she listens to classical music. She's so cool. Way to make us Ke$ha lovers feel like dirt. While you're dancing to 'Flight of the Bees,' I'll be Tik Tok-ing it up at the coolest party of the year.
-She is 'clumsy,' despite the fact that she stumbles maybe three times in the entire book series. Try tripping in the school cafeteria three times a week. Without fail. Then we'll talk.
-She likes to read. (No effin' comment.)
-She can cook like freakin' Bobby Flay at seventeen. (Again, no comment...)
-She showed extreme bravery (Sarcasm hand raised so high, it hurts) when she 'unselfishly' risks her own life for Edward and meets James in the ballet studio. All by herself. Without telling the other strong vamps. She's so smart.
-She survived the worst possible situation. Rape, you ask, Abuse, Homelessness? Nope. She (barely) survived the 'horrible' pain when Edward broke up with her and went halfway around the world to get away from her incessant whin- I mean, protect her.
-She survived her spawn child ripping her intestines out and breaking her in half. (Don't even get me started...)
-She risked herself (i.e. cutting herself in the arm) to help Edward when he fought Victoria. She's such a damn saint. A saint with hemophilia, but a saint nonetheless.
Anyway, you can see here why Bella Swan is such an admirable character right? Let me burst that bubble real quick.
Reason One to hate B.S. (hehehehehe):
-Charlie Swan: Charlie Swan has got to be the single, most amazingly cool parent ever (besides my mom.) When Bella out-of-the-blue decided to move to Forks and become a bur- I mean, spend time with him, he took her in, he bought her a car(!), AND, if that is not enough, he basically told her to do whatever she wanted (short of having sex, partying, etc.) Bella, like any normal teen for once, is happy at this and uses her time responsibly. (I will take this moment to commend her on being responsible with this freedom. There is no sarcasm hand.) And then, when her amazing father decides to punish her for, oh, I don't know, disappearing for three days with no contact to hang out with her EX-boyfriend, she pulls a complete and total hissy fit and threatens to move out.
Here's what would happen to me if I ever did that:
-Me: Well, if you forbid me from seeing my boyfriend and try to ground me, I'll move out.
-My mom: Okay, get the hell out of my house, but first...
(Three million butt whuppins' later...)
-My mom: Now you can go.
But no. Charlie, who is much more mellow than my mom, forgives her and moves on with life. So, then, Eddie boy comes back to further ruin Bella's life and drive a wedge between her and Jacob. Charlie, who notices the way she lets Eddie control every damn move she makes, tries to talk some sense into the Bella. It's like talking to a brick wall. A whiny, selfish brick wall. Bella does not listen to her father's warnings and proceeds to ruin her life. Then, to add insult to injury, proceeds to make plans to visit her mother in Texas WITH EDDIE IN TOW!
When Charlie hears this news, he reacts the way any responsible parent should, he freaks out. But old Belly decides to break out the old, 'I'm eighteen, I'll move out' schpiel, which makes Charlie have a premature heart attack.
No comment on his hardship in Breaking Dawn because of her. Really, that man needs a Nobel Prize for putting up with her.
Reason Two and Three to hate B.S. (hehehehehehehe):
-Jacob Black and Edward Cullen: Well, my dears, onto my second rant within a rant. Anyone who visits my page can clearly see that I love Jacob Black with all my heart. Although he is a fictional character, I believe every guy should aspire to be him. Jacob Black is sexy, fun-loving, sensitive, humorous, happy. The exact opposite of someone we know and hate. We don't really see much of him in Twilight, but he is a constant in New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, which just made them better to read.
Jacob is often described as the saving grace of the book series, and I often find that people that are Team Jacob (i.e. Mature people who know a good man when we see one and not screaming, squealing teeny boppers who have an obsession with sparkles and glitter) are more mature and much better to speak to than Team Edward. This isn't because of my preference for Jacob, it's just that every Team Edward person I have met (And trust me, I've met a lot) is overly defensive, a little snobby, and so set in their own ways that they won't listen to an opinion that is not their own.
Kinda reminds me of the members of the Tea-Party political party, of whom I have met many.
I can explain how I feel about both Edward and Jacob below. I had a 'conversation' with a Team Edward-ian at the premiere of 'New Moon.' (She is one of the exceptions, though, because she remains one of my good friends to this day.) Here is how it went.
-Team Edward: Hi. Are you Team Edward?
-Me: Nah. I'm partial to Jacob. I've always personally preferred werewolves to vampires. Plus, Taylor Lautner is freakin' gorgeous.
-T.E.: Well, what makes you prefer Jacob over Edward?
-Me: Well, it just seems to me that Jacob is an all around better guy. When I read the books, it just seemed like Bella was happier with Jacob around. Being with him wasn't dangerous, even with the whole werewolf thing, you know.
-T.E.: But Edward would never hurt Bella.
-Me: Just because he didn't want to, doesn't mean he didn't. We all saw what happened in New Moon.
-T.E.: HE LEFT TO PROTECT HER THOUGH!
-Me: (a little weirded out) And in 'protecting' her, he only left her open for Victoria to come after her. Even though he didn't know that she would go for Bella, it's no excuse. If it weren't for Jacob and the wolfpack, Bella would have died because of her inability to stay out of trouble and Victoria would have gotten to her eventually. Though, I don't know what took her so long. If the wolves were protecting the woods, all she had to do was rent a car and drive to Bella's house. It's not like she didn't know where she lived.
-T.E.: But Edward came back and got rid of Victoria.
-Me: With the help of the wolfpack, who outnumbered the Cullens immensely. Let's face it. If it weren't for the wolves, the Cullens probably would have lost. And if it weren't for Jacob, Bella wouldn't be alive either.
-T.E.: But Jacob could have hurt Bella if he got mad.
-Me: But whenever Jacob got mad, he always controlled himself. And frankly, I'm tired of Edward with that bullshit, excuse my language. He's always going on about how dangerous werewolves are and how Bella shouldn't be around them. Umm, have you caught a look in the mirror, homeboy? Cause last time I checked, you were a vampire and posed an equally dangerous threat to Bella. And yes, I know that Emily got hurt by Sam that ONE time, but she's obviously gotten over it, and from what I read, the scars on her face don't affect her personality because she's still got it goin' on. If you ask me, the vampires have done more to hurt Bella than the wolfpack. Edward wants to kill her, and bruises her when they kiss and do the nasty. Jasper tried to eat her and we all know how well that turned out, and Bella is in constant danger when she is around them.
-T.E.: But Edward is hot.
-Me: So is Jacob. Jacob is everything Edward should aspire to be, in my opinion. His 117-year-old maturity thing is a little much for me. Besides, if I were Bella, I'd rather be a sexy cougar with a hot younger man, than a chick with a crusty old man, WHO SHOULD BE DEAD, as her main squeeze. I just couldn't do it.
-T.E.: But Edward really loves her. He even stays with her at night.
-Me: Yeah, remember how cute it was that he broke into her house and basically watched her sleep before they even went on the first date. If this were the real world, and not the messed up darkness that is Steph Meyer's head, Edward would have a restraining order put out on his ass so quickly, it would make your head spin. Plus, my mom is a light sleeper, so he would be sitting in jail with a bullethole in the ass, if it were me.
-T.E.: Well, Bella liked it.
-Me: And we all should aspire to be her. She's such a role model, dontcha think?
The movie began just then and so we had to discontinue our conversation. Fortunately, we met up for coffee at the nearby Starbucks afterward and the rest is history...
Another reason to love Jacob: his quotes.
Edward's quotes are always so serious and make me depressed. Jacob's make me happy, and make me laugh.
"Does my being half naked bother you?"
"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that in movies"
"Go fetch a space heater... what am I, a St. Bernard?"
"Okay, but if you’re going to get picky like that, you have to average in size, too. You’re so small, I’ll have to knock ten years off your total."
"I swear, they’re like hall monitors gone bad."
"If this is how you’re going to react, I’ll freak out more often."
"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?"
"Bella, I think you need stitches. I’m not going to let you bleed to death"
"Bears don’t want to eat people. We don’t taste that good. Of course, you might be an exception. I bet you’d taste good."
"So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn’t get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it’s the least you can do."
"I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence."
"You sure can pick them, Bella. This movie really sucks."
"What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit."
"As long as you like me the best. And you think I’m good-looking—sort of. I’m prepared to be annoyingly persistent."
"You really, honestly don’t mind that I morph into a giant dog?"
"You’ve got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It’s insulting."
"Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?"
"We’re a pretty messed-up pair, aren’t we? Neither one of us can hold our shape together right."
"Yeah, I’ll always be your friend. No matter what you love."
- Jacob Black
Oh, yeah... Our boy's got style...
Something About You pics:
Banner: This is the unfinished version, but I really love it. We can all thank the beautiful and lovely precious angel baby ReaderWriterFilmaker for doing this.
Clothes: We all know that Leah is a bangin' fashionista so I'll put up her outfits for each chapter here.
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