Poll: What should I take down, start over, or do? Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and iCarly.
I believe that if at the end of each day, you sit down and think about what made that day less than perfect, and correct it the next day, eventually you will have your perfect life and everyone will know how hard you worked and how well you succeded. Live life to the fullest and never doubt yourself. ~Lexie~
Hey. Okay, so my name's Lexie. I'm from the USA, and I'm 15. My birthday's on March 19th. I'm blonde and have hazel eyes.
Hey guys, THIS IS IMPORTANT! well, to me anyway. My grandmom that lives with me has been in the hospital since September, and she 's going into a really dangerous surgery in a few hours. Can you guys, you know, keep her in your prayers? I'm really close to her and she might not make it, so it'd really help me to know that people care. Thank you. ='(
ohkay...about that thing right there ^^...my grandmom died about three weeks ago. I love her so much and I will miss her forever. Life goes on and people change, but my feelings will always stay the same. I love you Mom-Mom, and you will ALWAYS be remembered.
My mood song: Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne. =(
My favorite boooks are THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS SERIES BY CASSANDRA CLARE!!!!, The Twilight Saga, Vampire Academy, The Midnighters, PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS!! The Hunger Games, Harry Potter series, Halo, and many others I can't think of right now. :)
My favorite artists are Avril Lavigne, Paramore, Hey Monday, Kelly Clarkson, Evanescence, Taylor Swift, Green Day, Linkin Park, Leona Lewis, Martina McBride, Kat DeLuna, Seether, Bowling for Soup, Daniel Powter, U2, Sean Kingston, Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts, Black Eyed Peas, Christina Aguilera, Soulja Boy, David Archuleta, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Offspring, Nickelback, Ne-Yo, The Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna, Smash Mouth, The Monkees, Yellowcard, Lady Gaga, Kings of Leon, Kanye West, Jason Mraz, Gretchen Wilson, Green Day, The Fray, David Cook, Creed, Coldplay, Cascada, Beyonce, The All-American Rejects and many others I don't feel like naming. :)
Bella x Edward(the retarded klutz belongs with the sexually repressed, secretly gay, mind-raping victorian)
Alice x Jasper(cuz love is old skool, and cuz G.I.Jazz haz to keep the shopaholic pixie under control)
Rosalie x Emmett(who wouldn't love the person who saved you from a supposedly fatal bear mauling?)
Jacob x Leah(Blackwater! It's just perfect!!)
Jacob x Renesmee (not as much, she's still just a baby, and it doesn't really seem right in my head. Can't picture it)
Sam x Emily(they're imprints and if Sam 'I'm too sexy for a brain' Uley hadn't left Leah for her cousin Emily, then Blackwater wouldn't have happened!)
Seth x OC
Jacob x OC
Jared x Kim(too cute!)
Quil x Claire (again with the baby thing, can't see it but I've read so many fanfictions about them it just seems right now)
Seddie- Sam/ Freddie(absolutely perfect!)
Carly x OC
Spencer x OC
Gibby x OC
Gibby x Tasha
Gibby x Carly
Rose x Dimitri(I still can't believe he turned Strigoi!!)
Rose x Mason
Lissa x Christian
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Pecrcabeth-Percy Jackson x Annabeth Chase (took them long enough, right? Completely adorable)
Grover x Juniper (amazingly cute)
Nico x OC (My absolute FAV! I LUV U NICO! AHH!)
Thuke-Luke Castellan x Thalia Grace (So cute!)
Connor Stoll x OC
Travis Stoll x OC
Ethan Nakamura x OC (he turned out to be good in the end, he deserves love)
Clarisse LaRue x Chris Rodriguez (just cute)
Charles Beckendorf x Silena Beurogaurd (they were so perfect together! RIP Beckendorf and Silena!)
Bianca diAngelo x OC (I know she was a hunter, but she deserves love!)
Thalico-Thalia Grace x Nico diAngelo
THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS SERIES
Jace x Clary (I love them!!)
Alec x Magnus (The amazingly hot gay shadowhunter and the sexy, sexy warlock! Luv itt!)
Luke x Jocelyn ((Clary's mom) They belong together after so long!)
Maia x Simon (I think it's cute!)
"Read, read, read. Read everything - trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it is good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out the window.”
Found this on a quote sign. Fell in love. End of.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those you mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I saw this outside a little coffee shop on a day out, and I thought it was completely true. Listen to coffee shops. They speak wise words. And sell good food.
"I reject your reality and substitute it for my own."
Believe me, daydreams make my world turn around. There have been a lot of times when I depended on my daydreams, my second reality, to keep me sane. It's why my writing's become so important to me - because it's mine, and I can take it and run with it in any direction I want.
"Maybe that's why monsters fade. Maybe it's not about what the mortals believe. Maybe it's because you give up on yourself."
Ah, the immortal genius of Rick Riordan. I'm not saying you're all monsters (!), but at the end of the day, you've only failed if you've given up on yourself. You've got to believe you'll do it, and you will. I know it.
"I haven't failed. I've just found 40,000 ways that don't work."
This is pure genius. I love the optimism of these people, I really do.
"The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them."
Ah, love. It breaks your heat. I'm going to use this for Percy and Annabeth, in some story, somewhere, because I think its beautiful.
"I didn't lose my mind. It was mine to give away."
This is from a Robbie Williams song (No Regrets) and it's my mum's favourite song. It's brilliant, and this line always makes me think. I love it.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
I hate it when people say that they needed more time, because they had the time for the task, and so they must have overestimated the task.
"Be yourself, because life's too short to be anyone else."
How very true. But I still want to dress up in fancy dress every once in a while.
“I have a dream - of a day where chickens can cross roads without their motives being questioned.”
The lesser known Martin Luther King speech.
"Put your fist in the air, raise your voice and declare!"
Speak up or sit down. I know which one I'd rather do.
"Are we obsessed because we are human? Or are we human because we are obsessed?"
I wrote that one. I love it so much - it really makes me think. Because I am obsessed. With everything.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any
.boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been received.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone (Or more than one someone!) who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu,"as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile
If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.
If you wish more people were like your friends on fanfic, copy and paste this onto your pro
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
If you think little siblings are annoying, copy this into your profile
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE
If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. (mwahaha)
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have a profile do the oppesite of copying this to your profile, make the oppesite of copying this to your profile 9 times... not.
If you didn't get the thing above me copy this to your profile and that too. upthere.
If you like blue copy this to your profile.
SMILEYS RULE:):)copy and paste this in your profile if you agree. :):):):):):)!
If you love christmas because of all the free stuff copy and paste this to your profile
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well I think guns help. I mean if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?"
Silence is golden... but shouting is fun!
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how the hell you did it!
Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls.
The crazy people made me their leader, but then my mum took me away from the asylum we were in...
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is where you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favourite song plays. Crazy is where you do or say a totally random thing, like 'do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?' or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find I am a tough opponent). So if your crazy copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
If you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this to your profile
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile. I have!
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!
If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.
if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!
If you are weired, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
You know you live in 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.
Some one liners to make you smile...
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
6. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
7. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
8. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
9. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
10. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
Never be afraid to try new things. After all, an amatuer built the arc, but professionals built the titanic!
Do not fear death. Rather, the unlived life. You don't need to live forever, you just need to live.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away
Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way-
-Cullen boys...because they don't make them like that anymore-
-Boys in books...are just better-
-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-
-I run with vampires(or werewolves, who're cooler(or hotter. w/e.))-
-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces-
-Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable-
-It's pretty sad when you think about it. But I don't think about it-
-Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry- (Mark Twain)
-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience - Lol! (Some Genius)
-Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe-
-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway-
-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess aroundon her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-
-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-
-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-
-& she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left-
-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-
-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-
-If you can't hear my heartbeat ;; then you're too far away-
-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -
- I'd tell her that I'll never know what it was like to be her. But I do know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in, but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the thing on the inside. -
- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." -
"What were the use of my creation if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning; my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." ~ Catherine in Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
"And there you see the distinction between our feelings -- had he been in my place and I in his, though I hated him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, I would have never raised a hand against him. You may look incredulous, if you please! I never would have banished him from her society as long as she desired his. The moment her regard ceased, I would have torn his heart out, and drank his blood! But, till then -- if you don't believe me, you don't know me -- till then, I would have died by inches before I touched a single hair of his head!" ~ Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
"Come to the dark side, we have cookies!"
"You are depriving some village of an idiot."
"Aw, did I just step on your poor itty-bitty little ego?"
"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left."
"Chaos, panic and disorder... Well, my work here is done."
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
You laugh at me because I'm strange, I laugh at you because your stupid!
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I intend to live forever...So far so good!
Normal people worry me.
You say psycho like it's a bad thing.
One by one the lawn gnomes steal my sanity.
You just keep telling yourself that.
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
Out of my mind, please leave a message.
Do you think I'm weird? Don't answer that.
What if weird meant normal and normal meant weird?
Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard was not what I meant.
You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.
I walk the line between brilliance and insanity.
One day, I will be famous. Then all of you will claim to have been my "best friend" once upon a time. But I know who my real friends are. They're the ones who helped me get where I am.
Do I look like I want a Big Issue?
I'm not one of those girls you can play around with. If you want one then go buy a barbie!
Criticism, just one more serivice I offer.
Dear God, make everyone die. Amen.
Don't be jealous just cause I'm a ninja
Don't hate me!... No really. I have a gun.
Every girl wants a man that she can go to in her sweats, hair a mess, makeup running down her face, eyes red from crying, and the first thing he says to her is "Baby, you're beautiful" and means it.
Oh yeah? YOUR FACE
The best part of Believe is the lie
I often bust out with random dance moves
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control
Start every day with a smile and get it over with
My best friend is better than yours so stick that in your juice box & suck it!
He broke my heart. I broke his jaw.
Take a Chance because you never know how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be
How can you break my fucking heart & tell me you still love me!?
If you were to ask how many times you ran through my mind, I'd only say once. The thought never left
I left the womb for THIS!?
I hurt myself so you can't
I never stopped loving you. I just stopped letting it show. :(
I love you with all of my Kidney. Why should the heart get all the attention?
If you have an open mind, why don't your brains fall out?
I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
In a room full of people, you're always the first one I look for
Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love with you.
No matter what happens, you will always be my best friend Valz. Ily bestie!
She's my best friend. Break her heart I'll BREAK YOUR FACE
- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
- Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. (So true, so true..:)
- So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
- Yeah, I'm a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet.
- Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
- No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?
- When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
- I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
- Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
- Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.
- The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
- If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?
- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...
- When in doubt, make up words!
- Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
- If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.
- I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.
- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.
- Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
- Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!
- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
- Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers.
- Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
- My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.
- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
- Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
- I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.
- People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
- WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.
- Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.
- There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
- Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.
- If I throw a stick, will you go away?
And then, the most AWESOME one in the world...
- I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock/Paper/Scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!"
Good Friend VS Best Friend
A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them. A best friend stands there and laughs while you scramble to pick them up.
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch, run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"
A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Instructions: Put your ipod or music player on shuffle and the song that pops is the answer to each question.
1. How does the world see you? Home (Daughtry)
2. Will I have a happy life? We're Young And Beautiful (Carrie Underwood) Sweet...
3. What do my friends really think of me? Working Class Hero (Green Day) Nice...
4. Do people secretly lust after me? Black Horse and The Cherry Tree (KT Tunstall) Is this supposed to mean that there will be a bunch of guys fighting over me? SWEET!!
5. How can I make myself happy? Bad Day (Daniel Powter) This is bad... Very bad...
6. What should I do with my life? Dani California (Red Hot Chile Peppers) Sweet! I'm going to California!!
7. What is some good advice for me? Before He Cheats (Carrie Underwood)HE'S CHEATING ON ME!! I-I-I thought he loved me!!
8. How will I be remembered? What Hurts the Most (Cascada) What hurts the most? WHAT THE HELL THIS THING IS DEFCETIVE!!
9. What is my signature dancing song? Hella Good (No Doubt) HELL YEAH!!
10. What do I think my current theme song is? Sweet Sacrafice (Evanescence) That one's all rebelious and junk...nice...
11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Fake It (Seether) Well! This one is insulting.
12. What song will play at my funeral? With Arms Wide Open (Creed) Awww!! What could be more perfect?
13. What type of men/women do you like? My Humps (Black Eyed Peas) WTF?!
14. What is my day going to be like? What You Give Away (Vince Gill) Awwwww... What do I have to give away?
15. What will tomorrow bring? Apache (The Sugarhill Gang) What. The. Hell. Is. That. Supposed. To. Mean.
A Twilight Survey
Which book in the series is your favorite?
Breaking Dawn(and yes it is because of Jacob's Book...)
How long did it take you to read the books?
About a day for Twilight, A day for New Moon, and I read Eclipse and BD in 12 hours. I seriously timed myself for the last two.
Who introduced you to the books?
I hated it, then my mom made me read the first three chapters of Twilight and I got hooked.
Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
Bought all four
Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?
What's your dream ending to the series?
NO ENDING!! lol. I want to read how Renesmee grows up! XD
Who is your favorite character?
Who's your favorite vampire?
Who is your favorite werewolf?
What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?
"No problem! Seth was only too eager to do whatever he could. You want me to explain to the Cullens? They're probably still kinda tense.
I got it. I want to check things out anyway. They caught the whir of images from my fried brain. Seth wimpered in surprise. Ew.
Leah whipped her head back and forth like she was trying to shake the image out of her mind.
That is easily the freakin' grossest thing I've heard in my life. Yuck. If there was anything in my stomach, it would be coming back.
They are vampires, I guess, Seth allowed after a minute, compensating for Leah's reaction. I mean, it makes sense. And if it helps Bella, it's a good thing, right?
Both Leah and I stared at him.
Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby, Leah told me. On his head, apparentl. He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too.
Looks like it, she thought.
Seth snorted. Funny. Why don't you two shut up and sleep?" - Jacob, Leah, and Seth-Breaking Dawn
What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?
When Bella saves Edward at the end of Eclipse while they're still in the main lobby of the Volturi castle.
What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
When Jacob kissed her and she got all mad and punched him, and she was all, "YOU PUSHY OBNOXIOUS DOG!" and he just laughed. He was totally like, SCORE ONE FOR JACOB!
How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?
All the Barbie Bella scenes. Funny as hell.
What was your favorite adventure/battle?
When Edward and Seth battled Victoria and Riley in Eclipse.
Which book cover was your favorite?
Are these books among your favorite books of all?
This or That?
Twilight or New Moon?
New Moon or Eclipse?
Eclipse or Twilight?
Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?
Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?
The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?
Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?
Edward! Jacob deserves Leah!(or imprinting...I just don't like it with Nessie)
Who do you like more:
Bella or Edward? Bella or Jacob? Bella or Alice?. Alice or Jacob?
Edward, Jacob, Alice, Jacob
Rosalie or Alice? Jasper or Alice? Jasper or Edward? Carlisle or Esme?
Alice, Alice, Edward, Esme
Emmett or Jasper? Emmett or Jacob? Bella or Rosalie? Esme or Charlie?
Emmett, Jacob, Rosalie, Esme
Charlie or Carlisle? Charlie or Billy? Jacob or Sam? Sam or Quil?
Carlisle, Billy, Jacob, Quil
Quil or Embry? Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?
Werewolves or Vampires?
How did you first find out about the movie?
After I read Twilight and my friends told me about it.
Are you excited?
I already saw it. (This survey is old...)
What do you think of the casting so far?
The only good one was Jacob, Charlie, and Esme...
Are you going to go see it?
I saw it.
Planning on going with anyone in particular?
My family. We bought the movie.
Do you think it will stay true to the book?
They always try but the movie is never good as the book. But they didn't even try. THEY FUCKING CUT THE MEADOW SCENE!!
A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad: Follow her
When she stare's at your mouth: Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you: Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong
When she ignore's you: Give her your attention
When she pull's away: Pull her back
When you see her start crying: Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared: Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you: Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt: Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you: she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands: Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret: keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does
When she misses you: she's hurting inside
When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away
When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers
When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
- Tease her and let her tease you back.
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.
- Let her know she's important.
- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Omg, this is so sad!
Boy: Uh Hi?
Girl: What's up?
Boy: Nothing, is there a reason you're talking to me?
Girl: Well, I sort of like you.
Girl: Do you like me back?
Boy: Well, um, you're 2 years younger then me.
Girl: Okay. Well, i have to go.
Two weeks later the boy saw the girl on the news. She hung herself. She left a note that said "Age shouldn't matter. I will always love you." One week later the boy was on the news. He hung himself too, but left a note written on the wall. It said "I was wrong, age shouldn't matter. You were right. I love you forever and always."
If you believe that age shouldn't matter, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. MidnightVendetta
Heyy peoples. That iCarly story is something my friend Valerie wrote, she doesn't have her own FF profile, so I posted it for her. I personally think it's really good. She didn't have any help, so be nice. I'm probably going to be posting her stories on here 2, since she writes all the time and she's completely awesome at it. She's even come up with her own original series, but I don't think I can post that on FF. Loves ya...byee!
Heyy guys! Sorry I couldn't write anything yesterday, but it was Valentine's Day! Just wanna say I love you all here on ff, and also, Val got her own profile on ff a while ago, I just haven't gotten around to taking down her story from my profile. Don't worry, I didn't steal it! It's going down before the end of the week though. Byee!!
My Mother Taught Me
1. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
18. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.
"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
The Stupidest Things On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
YOUR GUY SIDE:
~You love hoodies.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
~You wear lip gloss
Wow. I'm totally balanced. =)
Please read-true story (not me)
Now you have 2 choices:
Sam Puckett: Awwww, who brought his little junior camcorder?
Freddie Benson: It happens to shoot in high def!
Carly Shay (to Sam): He told you.
- iCarly, iGo To Japan
Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm it.