The Dancing Nerd
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Joined 02-24-09, id: 1846554, Profile Updated: 12-13-11
Author has written 3 stories for Mortal Instruments, and Maximum Ride.

Hey! I have no clue what I am doing so here goes nothin'...

Name : Noel

Gender : Female

Favorite Color: Blue/Purple

Favorite Food: Cookies

Major Fandom Guilt of:

Maximum Ride
Mortal Instruments
Harry Potter
Doctor Who
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Percy Jackson
Infernal Devices
Nerdfighteria (DFTBA)

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (who thought this might be a problem)?

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: may contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't copy the one above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

if your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your pro

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your pro.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and end up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you feel stupid because all of the above apply to you, copy and paste this on your profile

Awesome sayings

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing!

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...)

Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!

Directions to Llama-land:
Left at the rainbow, Right at the unicorn. And if you've passed the penguin, you've gone too far.

When the world is ending, I'm throwing the party!

(o.o) This is Bunny. Copy Bunny to your profile to help him in his goal of world domination!

"Life is empty and so is the fridge."

"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."

.: There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?"

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.
My friends are the kind of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish. ...But I love them to death

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"

"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking"

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

"Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile"

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Come over to the good side, we have Jacob Black and chocolate...if that doesn't work how about Fang!

If you think Mike Newton should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica and Mike belong together because they're both annoying and stupid, paste this into your profile

If you are not Team Edward or Team Jacob copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 7 percent laughing your butt off or the 1 percent (me) shaking your head saying "God peer pressure these days!"

Noel: Holly, the only person I know who is almost as random as me, gets a section...yay!

Holly: Ohmygosh! Have you ever pictured Ter Bortch dressed up as Little Bo Peep?

Noel: Yes, actually I have. When Ari was covered with green paint did the Grinch sond pop into your head?

Holly: No, but now I have the Grinch stuck in my head!

Noel: Why am I writing Noel name instead of 'me'?

Holly: The same reason you take advice from the voice in your head, cause you have nothing better to do.

Noel: -gasp- I have options, I could have just asked my other voice. He kept comlimenting me, but in his bio it said he was a compulsive liar...

Holly: Is he the one who gave you those bad directions to Penguin Palace.

Noel: YES!

Holly: What a jerk!

Noel: Now back to Bo Peep Ter Bortch...

~ Noel of Randomness ~

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House vs The Vampires by Ingram reviews
When Alice collapses into an unexplainable coma, the Cullen's may be forced to seek out the best doctor of diagnostic medicine in the world. And how will the irascible, misanthropic Dr House handle the angsty vampire coven? Not very well, I Imagine.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 34,147 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 5/5/2015 - Published: 4/6/2009 - G. House, Alice
Me, Max, and a Dog Kennel by tgypwya reviews
Saint captured Fang. A whole bunch of people captured Iggy. So when I got bored one night... I captured Max. Cue insanity. Rated T for obvious reasons. Just read it already. :P Important update!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 46 - Words: 69,722 - Reviews: 646 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Sparkling Angels by the status is not quo reviews
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 26 - Words: 27,814 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/6/2011 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Max
Two Is Better Than One by dazzledbystupidshinyvolvoowner reviews
In one night Alec's views changed after seeing Alexis.He never thought he'd see her again after that night.That was until Aro kept her to be his daughter and made Alec her guard.Through his attempts to push her away and stop his feelings will love bloom?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 103,245 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 11/27/2009 - Alec
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14392 - Favs: 16,080 - Follows: 8,527 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
There's Always A Reason by Il Cielo Piove delle Stelle reviews
Sequel to Max Can Never Get A Break. The flock had come back, and now the Volturi wanted Max. What to do? Well, all is answered when a stranger who only thinks of himself as a wepon appears out of the blue. Maximum Ride Twilight Crossover.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,850 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Max - Complete
Unnatural by coolness4eva reviews
When the Flock Move to a mountain outside of Forks they start school. But there Max sees someone that she thought that she would never see again, Edward. And Bella is all but thrilled about this idea. How did these two meet? Is there jealousy in the air?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,842 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Complete
Eternal Sunshine by sunshine-faery reviews
What if Bella had made the healthy choice and never jumped off the cliff on that fateful day...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 64,461 - Reviews: 697 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Maxlight by findingmymuse reviews
3 years after MAX, 5 years after Breaking Dawn. The Flock meets the pack and imprints ensue, a certain vampire-hybrid thirsts for the birdies and things only get more interesting from there...
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 22,649 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Complete
Growing Up Maximum Ride: A Differnt Story by MyVampireBunny reviews
We all knew she grew up in the School, but what if after that she was given to a normal family, with no memory at all of what happened? Six year old, Maxine Ride loses her parents in a car crash, and ends up with the Cullens.Flock comes later.FAX later
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,851 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 4/14/2009
Forks Flys by ice around the moon reviews
The Voice tells Max to go to Forks, but all does not go well, as usual. The Flock is attacked by the wolves, the Volturi come back, Max starts falling for Fang, and a new friend who turns out to be a traitor could be their saviour in the end. F/M Alec/OC
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 55,665 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 12/12/2009 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Max - Complete
Little Bella by Ariane1126 reviews
Bella is four years old when she is found by the Cullens. She grows up with them and they soon discover she is special.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 91,904 - Reviews: 1772 - Favs: 1,817 - Follows: 829 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Maximum Ride in Five Minutes by Velvet Liquor reviews
Flying kids on crack? Ari rides a flying rainbow? Max, after communicating with plants, is on a mission to save the world's population of trees? And why is James Patterson wearing a blonde wig and singing to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,646 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/14/2009
The Birds & The Bees Emmett Style! by UnicornGoddess95 reviews
How does Bella get unglued from Edward? Find out and prepare to laugh! Complete for now...maybe I'll come up with more hilarity.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,515 - Reviews: 723 - Favs: 947 - Follows: 572 - Updated: 5/10/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007 - Complete
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Incognito Espionage reviews
When Fang bursts through Max's door she doesn't know what to think. He starts telling her why he left and, more importantly, why he is there. But Fang is still keeping secrets, secrets that Max is determined to reveal. Oneshot. T for tortuous, google it.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,068 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
24 Oneshots 24 Hours reviews
Exactly what the title says. Starting at midnight I have 24 hours to write 24 oneshots. Sounds easy enough. Except I write one oneshot each hour until midnight the next day. Cue hilarity and slap happy writing. Complete.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 8,746 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/26/2010 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Complete
Don't Trust Me reviews
Jace goes to a club and has a few too many drinks and flirts with a few too many girls. Between Jace, the well-known Clary, and a girl named Laura everyone has there secrets. Rated T for drinking and moderate language. Excuse the vague summary.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,292 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Jace W., Clary F.