decemberisforcynics
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Joined 02-25-09, id: 1848471, Profile Updated: 01-27-10
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

"I think someday you're going to be a great writer," he said. "But" he added maliciously, "first you'll have to suffer a bit. I mean really suffer, because you don't know what the word means yet. You only think you've suffered. You've got to fall in love first." - Henry Miller; Tropic of Capricorn, 1961


DFTBA: Don't Forget To Be Awesome.

(It's a Nerdfighter thing, you wouldn't understand.)

(John Green = LOVE)


Who am I?

I am the roar of the excited crowd.
I am the ice that cracks under pressure.
I am a match that burns when struck.
I am the obstacles that block the path.
I am the shovel, clearing the way for others.
I am the laughter of a million.
I am the glinting of the new snow.
I am the full moon on a dark night.
I am the flowers that grow in the winter.
I am the bruises of a world-weary person.
I am fire, destroying everything I touch.
I am a smirking criminal, enthralled with my success.
I am my own judge, condemning myself for eternity to be the best.
I am a house of mirrors.
I m nothing significant. I am nothing more than a mere speck, barely a footnote at most on the timeline of humanity.
But I am a person.
And I am alive.

Written by myself. I'm proud of it.


Most profiles are just a list of common things (Names, ages, that sort of thing). I'm not like everyone. I'm my own person, and not a zombie.

So, in no particular order, here's a list of random things about me.

I blow out candles in September.

I'm a Virgo.

If my plans of being a writer don't pan out (which they probably won't) then I want to be a sky dive instructor.

The second I turn 18, I'm jumping out of plane with little more than a sheet strapped to my back.

I curse so badly that even a sailor would blush if he heard me. It's kind of funny.

Twilight pisses me off, Stephenie Meyer makes me sick to my stomach. I read Twilight, thought it was pretty good, bought Eclispe and New Moon. Didn't really like them that much. Bought Breaking Dawn: spent more time laughing at it then actually reading it. It was like trying to squeeze water from a rock. A rock in the middle of a desert. A rock in the middle of a desert on the Sun. It just wasn't meant to be. And since someone asked: I write Twilight fanfics because I fell in love with the characters. Well, some of them. That's why most of my stories are about Alice and Jasper.

Also, when you reread the series, it's not very good. Bunch of grammar mistakes and contridictions.

One of the only things I want to do when I grow up is simple. Find a tornado and flip it off. Just 'cause I'd be that badass.

Chiodos rocks my socks off. And I wear tights, yo.

I say "Yo" trying to be a gansta. I fail.

I like to listen to sad, depressing songs when I write. Especially when I write Scratched Out.

The future freaks me out.

I'm learning Latin. Very, very slowly. A little bit.

I love black and white films. Especially silent films, because those actors and actresses were amazing. They couldn't convey their emotions with speech; they had to depend on their body language and it's amazing when you think about it.

Scratched Out is my baby. People seem to enjoy it.


When I was a little boy, they called me a liar. But now that I'm a grown up, they call me a writer. - Issac Bashevis Singer, Nobel Prize Winner for Literature


The fabulous Little Miss Mionie made Scratched Out an amazing, stupendous, fabulous, --insert other adjectives here-- BANNER! Give it up for Little Miss Mionie! --throws confetti--


Welcome to my world of toys.


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

My Intoxication by K'Sheek Morgaine reviews
AU/AH: "I am cold. I am calculating. This is how I survive. No attachments." Jasper finds friendship in newcomer Bella Swan, stirring up a relationship that strains loyalties and blurs the lines between love and addiction. Jasper POV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 171,292 - Reviews: 686 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 3/19 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Bella, Jasper
The Day The Earth Stood Still by Sare Liz reviews
An AU rewrite of the entire series, largely from Edward's POV. -Winner of two Mystic Awards.- Outtakes found in DVMR.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 337,124 - Reviews: 5238 - Favs: 3,594 - Follows: 2,951 - Updated: 2/10/2014 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
A Flower's Fame by Crystal Zelda reviews
Lily Evans has a secret: she's not really who she says she is. As her fame grows outside of Hogwarts, can she keep her identity, and herself, safe? And what about James Potter? He seems too interested in Lily's secrets... but what about his own?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 117,226 - Reviews: 816 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 466 - Updated: 1/29/2014 - Published: 6/17/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Arguments Between a Vampire and a Werewolf by Angry Lobster reviews
Edward and Jacob argue about sparkling, intimate biting, and various other subjects. Funny drabbles.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,787 - Reviews: 1072 - Favs: 607 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Edward, Jacob
When She Smiles by l'heure bleue reviews
Alice and Jasper have always been friends. First kiss at five, ”I love you” at six — and a terrible tragedy before they'd even begun high school. Can the love the share overcome the fear, and the pain? ”Daddy," he cried. ”Don't hurt me…” — COTN SIDE-STORY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 59,639 - Reviews: 5455 - Favs: 1,065 - Follows: 1,155 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Alice, Jasper
The Project by The Only Pancake reviews
AH. AU. Realistic plot! --- Bella is swept into a life of friendship and heartbreak. Will she overcome the obstacles Forks faces her with, or will she fall and be left in the dust? A story about love, struggle, rocks, and The Lion King.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 114,492 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Bella
A Light in the Dark by Athenian Grace reviews
Vernon and Petunia Dursley didn’t see the letter Dumbledore left and brought baby Harry to a hospital. Will compassionate Doctor Cullen be able to let Harry go? Will they ever understand Harry's past? Twilight crossover
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 103,722 - Reviews: 1586 - Favs: 2,973 - Follows: 1,980 - Updated: 4/30/2010 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Harry P., Edward - Complete
Aevitas ac nam Semper by The Only Pancake reviews
The werewolves have been at war with vampires for centuries. When the pack crosses a line, Jasper decides to take their "game" to a frightening new level. How is Alice involved in it all, and what is Jasper's true motive behind kidnapping her?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,806 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Upper East Side Story by adia90 reviews
In the jungle known as the Upper East Side, playboy extraordinaire Edward Cullen needs to find a bride in order to unlock his inheritance. Throw in platonic friend Bella Swan. Thank God for good friends, or will they mess? AH AU EB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 71,825 - Reviews: 1601 - Favs: 1,586 - Follows: 1,975 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Bella
A Vision Stained with Red by XDCaramel reviews
Ever since I was born I saw these numbers and visions. They told me when and how a person would die. It was a normalcy to see these things above people's heads. Until I met them. They didn't have numbers. For them... I couldn't see anything. ExB. DISCONTINUED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 20 - Words: 88,714 - Reviews: 3622 - Favs: 2,799 - Follows: 2,570 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Bella, Edward
Life ain't been no Crystal Stair by XDCaramel reviews
Having been raised in poverty and through hard times, Bella Swan resents the wealthy who "have it easy". Edward Cullen is a rich arrogant man who thinks the world revolves around him. Can they convince each other otherwise? ExB All human. DISCONTINUED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 105,462 - Reviews: 1073 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 617 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
Indigo Skies by The Only Pancake reviews
Jasper left Bella, and she needed Jacob for stability. She finds peace in him, but when Jasper comes back, she questions everything she has grown know. Cullen/Werewolf drama will ensue. My JxB version of New Moon and Eclipse. Sequel to Darkest Before Dawn
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 53,165 - Reviews: 1334 - Favs: 471 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
War by LaBellaBella reviews
Set in the time of WW2, Bella Swan lives her life in a small town. She doesn't know what to think or feel when a group of soldiers comes home for a visit from the gruesome battlefields of Europe, led by a mysterious young Lieutenant General. All human, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 74,209 - Reviews: 818 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 454 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
Moonless Nights by sarahandkate reviews
I guess you could say we're you're average teenagers. Alice and I were so different yet one thing kept us the same. She could see the future and I could see ghosts. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 19 - Words: 77,366 - Reviews: 422 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Butterfly Effect by Pancake The Thunder Hearted reviews
Watch how James came to be who he is cerca-Twilight! What if, rather than leave her, he decides to keep Alice Brandon is his coven? What effects would that have on the rest of the known Cullen family, and his own coven? --- Slight AU. Lemons included!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,545 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/18/2009 - James, Alice
What Jasper Hates by NekoVampireNinja reviews
The ten things Jasper truly hates about Alice. The things that he can't bear, for whatever reason, the things that nobody other than I have - unwilling - access to understand. Told in the pespective of Edward. AliceJasper
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,994 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/26/2009 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Alice, Jasper
KilCullen by Cocoa987 reviews
Little Emily KilCullen. So cute, so dangerous. Renesmee's first day of kindergarten, as told by Emmett. Be afraid. : Read, Review, love, ect.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,229 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Barbie Spice by BloodyMarry reviews
Emmett and Jasper have to watch Bella. Remotes explode. Pipes are thrown. Hoods are jumped on. And laughter and ridiculous amounts of random hilarity ensue. Beware.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,564 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 32 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Broken Glass and Chipped Paint reviews
Alice has always been the kind of girl who believes in soulmates and Happily Ever Afters. So, what's she supposed to do when Jasper, her soulmate and husband, cheats on her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,895 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Mad As Hatters reviews
Being around insanity can only bring insanity. M for language, murder. Happy Halloween.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,592 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Circles reviews
AlicexEdward "The psychic and the mind reader; who would have suspected?" Third Place in The Pancake Perfume's Crack Pairings Contest. M for slight lemon -really more of lemon juice if I may- and language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,209 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Alice, Edward - Complete
Being Mike Newton reviews
For The Only Pancake. Mike isn't a bad guy. He's just a sweet guy, out to protect Bella from the guys of Forks. How I think Mike looks at the world. Takes place in Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and the beginning of Breaking Dawn. JessicaxMike
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Mike - Complete