Uki465
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Joined 02-26-09, id: 1849099, Profile Updated: 03-05-13
Author has written 9 stories for House, M.D., Twilight, Vampire Diaries, and Harry Potter.

Hey! So my main fanfiction is a Harry Potter one, that's my best (trust me) I've also written a Vampire Diaries one, and two other HP ones :) I wrote a couple of Twilight ones ages ago, but I'm not really into Twilight anymore, since the movieit's:') But if you're a Harry Potter fan, please read Pricked By A Thorn! :D

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

You Know You Live In 2008 When You...

1.)You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.)You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have an email or facebook or myspace
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.)As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you keep reading this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.)And you were to busy to notice number 5
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.)Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

Please read all my stories and leave me lovely reviews! :)

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My Beautiful Rescue by ry123red reviews
After finding out that Edward and Alice were unfaithful, the Cullen's will never be the same. Heartbroken, Jasper & Bella each turn to the one person they can depend on...each other. Can two people learn to move on in the midst of a war? Bella/Jasper version of Breaking Dawn. SEQUEL POSTED! Slowly being edited/revised...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 88,428 - Reviews: 2241 - Favs: 1,818 - Follows: 1,383 - Updated: 3/5/2013 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
The Plan by kmwilson reviews
"We need someone he can open up to and tell all his secrets to, someone who's on our side and who can tell us everything he says and does." He hesitated. "Hermione, I think you should seduce Draco Malfoy."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 47,642 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Hermione G., Draco M.
A Clandestine Love by DreamerofDreams56 reviews
She was adopted at birth. He was raised in a pureblooded home. She believes in love. He believes in secrets. She just fell for him. He's already fallen. -A betrothal story-
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,773 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Draco M., OC
Burning Road To Love by sixdegreesofseperation reviews
She walked out of his room, and seconds later, she heard glass shatter./\/\.Language,AdultThemes, DEATH!R&R! KLENA!
Vampire Diaries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 58,793 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 4/27/2012 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Klaus, Elena G.
Help by sixdegreesofseperation reviews
Elena shrugged as he opened the door. "Hey, you can't blame me, I'm drunk, my ex-boyfriend just tried to kill me, I have a migraine, and I'm more likely to die at night and become a vampire, so really, you can't judge me," LANG/SPOILERS/KLENA!
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,385 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 45 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Klaus, Elena G. - Complete
In Pursuit of Changes by Iane Casey reviews
In pursuit of changes and happiness, House takes a step forward after having been released from the institution. Will his pursuits be successful? Or will it all be in vain? No spoilers here. Huddy! Enjoy! COMPLETE! :D
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 67,273 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 9/29/2009 - L. Cuddy, G. House - Complete
My Best Friend's Wedding by The Vampiress-1918 reviews
Edward the player and Bella the good girl have been friends for years. They have always been in love but wont admit it. What happens when Bella falls for someone else? Will Edward finally tell her before its too late? Or will Bella marry the wrong man?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,034 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 10/8/2009 - Bella, Edward
Look Past the Veil of Hate by MyLifeIsEdwardCullen reviews
All Human. Edward and Bella used to be best friends. Now they hate each other or so the other thinks . Will they realize what they’re missing out on and finally get together? Better than it sounds, give it a try!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 78,729 - Reviews: 2806 - Favs: 771 - Follows: 726 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Bella, Edward
Caring is Creepy by Josephinee reviews
He'd always loved her. Said he'd marry her one day. And then, suddenly, out of the blue, he's there next to her cousin - on a wedding invitation. RW/SM/LP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,760 - Reviews: 786 - Favs: 720 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
Friends With Benefits by As-Long-As-I'm-Around reviews
Takes place when Meggie is seventeen. She's with Farid, but her heart, and her body desires Dustfinger. What happens when he returns the feelings for her? What happens when they just can't control it? Dustfinger/Meggie. T for now. Now Complete.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,780 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 11/6/2009 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Meggie F., Dustfinger - Complete
Busted by Dauntless-Princess3392 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in Biology. How will they get the note back ... note this story is adopted from spoiledgirl 881 so for the first couple chapters the credit goes to her
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,208 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Other Half by Pepper07 reviews
A tramatic event has alterted JD's way of life and has him questioning his ability to regain his old self. While he's struggling to adapt to his situation he doubts his capabilites and new found feelings. Can he handle it? JD/Cox...maybe..;
Scrubs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,698 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 11/6/2008 - John D./J.D., Dr. Cox/Perry
I Want to Marry Edward Cullen! by remy7marie reviews
AU/AH Bella is tricked onto a new reality TV show featuring movie star Edward Cullen. How much more embarrassing or awkward could this possibly be? Rating just increased to M in Chapter 8
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,300 - Reviews: 1062 - Favs: 725 - Follows: 1,091 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Watching Your Every Move by D.E. Lewis reviews
Someone is prank calling Chase. They think it's fun. Wait until the fun stops...
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,356 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 3/26/2007 - Published: 1/26/2007 - R. Chase - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fate or Family reviews
Upper-class Elena's mother hopes to wed her to the rich, handsome but cruel Lord Klaus, a match that would cement her status in society. In a twist of fate, she falls for the poor, lower-class Damon. When forced to choose between her family and the love you only find once in a lifetime; murder, betrayal and a heart wrenching love story follows between the most unlikely of matches.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,758 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 6/30 - Published: 5/22 - Elena G., Damon S.
Love Causes Mistakes reviews
6 years ago Hermione made the decision to break Draco's heart. Now he's back, they haven't spoken in 6 years and he hates her. She felt she'd had a good reason, but will he understand that? Bad summary, but it's basically a Dramione story that's different to the others, so please give it a try!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,414 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 5/27/2014 - Published: 7/28/2013 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Pricked By A Thorn reviews
"I love you but I have to do this." A single tear slid down his cheek and fell to the floor. Listening to her heart wrenching sobs, he whispered the single word that made his heart shatter. "Obliviate." While Malfoy is facing the pressures of having to kill Dumbledore, Hermione is preparing to help Harry fight Voldemort Can they survive a journey they start from two opposite sides?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,807 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Freedom Has A Price reviews
Klaus decides to take Elena away from Mystic Falls. How far are Damon and Stefan willing to go for her? And what if something happens between Klaus and Elena along the way? If Stefan and Damon find a way to rescue Elena, will she even want to leave? Give the story a chance, read and review! It's better than the summary sounds!
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,950 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 9/15/2012 - Published: 6/21/2012 - Elena G., Klaus
A Wedding Affair reviews
Hermione's world is shattered when she recieves an invitation to Ron and Lavender's wedding. She embarks on a mission to sabotage their relationship and break off their wedding, receiving help from an unlikely ally along the way. Will she succeed and reunite with Ron? Or will she end up falling for a certain blonde-haired Malfoy? Read or I'll cry on your doorstep!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,821 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 9/15/2012 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Fun With The Cullens! reviews
Cullens decide to do the lottery? Result: very funny outcome! Read and review please. One shot.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,217 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 8/22/2009
The Future reviews
What happens when Bellla, trying to hide from Mike, finds herself in the future? Many surprises including that all her friends seem to be married. And Edward? What has happened to Edward? Is he married as well? Read and review please :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 19 - Words: 30,805 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 8/3/2012 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Missing reviews
Bella is with Edward one night, then the next day she's in a completely different house, different family and a different life, with no memory of how she got there An unfamiliar man claims to be her husband.Edward and her old life are gone. Can she find them again? Or will she be stuck in this new life? Read and review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 16 - Words: 25,175 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 8/3/2012 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Bella, Edward
House Is Shot Again reviews
When House is shot Yet again! who is the one who cares the most? Hint: It's not Foreman. Huddy.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,399 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 7/29/2009 - G. House, L. Cuddy - Complete