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Crazy Cullen Sex Talk
by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
It all starts off as a harmless sexual education video... But that starts everything off. Blood flavoured condoms? Emmett a male prostitute? Alice and Jasper having sex in Edward's car? Lots of crazy, funny stuff starts to happen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 22,143 - Reviews: 750 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Emmett, Carlisle
Meet The McCartys
by bronzehairedgirl reviews
Emmett enjoys telling Bella about his human life. A series of one shots.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,168 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Emmett
A sleeping little Sister
by Ella Hollywood reviews
Five years after Emmett gets changed into a Vampire, his little sister his hurt in a rock climbing accident. She is admitted into the hospitol Carlise works in and Emmett gets the chance to see her again...maybe for the last time.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,430 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 3/24/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Emmett, Carlisle
The three Cullen boys
by GuiltyPleazures95 reviews
what happens when kathrina goes to the cullens, and is attacked? well..... let's say she asks esme to do her a favor.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 349 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Edward, Emmett
His Eye is On the Sparrow
by Kari Twilight Mist reviews
While hunting, Emmett finds a baby bird and rescues it by putting it back in its nest. What does Carlisle think when he sees him do it? Emmett's POV Chapter 1 Carlisle's POV Chapter 2
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,026 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Emmett, Carlisle - Complete
by life takes time reviews
Nessie and Emmett make valentines for the family. This just pointless fluff, not the best I've ever done but it's cute
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Emmett babysits Renesme
by MrsMichaelPhelps reviews
Everyone goes out of town and Emmett is left to take care of his bff Renesme. what could possibly go wrong... right?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,214 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
The Haunting of Phillip
by I'mNotWhoYouThink reviews
Edward gets a dog. Things go terribly wrong. Edward wants his mommy. T for Language
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,129 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Edward, Emmett
NO! Not winnie the pooh!
by nattycullen reviews
Rosalie and Emmett decide to take Renesmee hunting but when Emmett chooses his pray...Renesmee isn't that happy...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 468 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Vampires Don't Get Sick
by disfunctioned movements reviews
One shot. I got sick and was thinking about vampires. Emmett is up to no good as usual.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 357 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Emmett, Carlisle - Complete
I Think We Lost Nessie
by Still-Obsessed reviews
Em’s POV. Em and Jazz are given their first babysitting job alone. Yup and they totally mess it up! What are they going to do and how is Bella going to react? More importantly, where IS Nessie anyway? R&R PLEASE!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,534 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/8/2008 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
i saw renesmee kissing jacob black
by zombiebounce reviews
this is my version of the song, i saw mommy kissing santa clause, twilight version. i dont own twilight. please R&R. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 514 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
You aren't my mommy!
by xAshNightx reviews
When young Elizabeth Masen is left without a soul to care for her, can Bella step up to the plate and be enough for the spunky child, or will she need a little help?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,063 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 11/18/2008 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Our Little Princess
by Pixel Alice reviews
What happens when Bella sudenly leaves while the Cullens hunt. Who is this Lilian girl and why does she call Bella "Mommy". Read and find out. Sorry I suck at summaries. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 21,892 - Reviews: 396 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 10/24/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Babysitting Crime & Punishmment
by FocusBella reviews
With just one word, babysitter Emmett's day of football turns into Cinderella tea party.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,603 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
by Heartbroken1 reviews
Since Nessie’s birth Jacob Black has become a thorn in Rosalie’s side. And what bothers Rosalie eventually ends up irritating Emmett too. For the Twilighted Breaking Dawn Missing Moments Challenge. Category: Humor. Chapter 26, approximately Page 522.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,096 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/18/2008 - Emmett, Jacob - Complete
by Lunar Wolf Tears256 reviews
Emmett was bored and decides to become a super hero. He's got the strength, he's got the money, he's got the looks, he even has the cape. What could go wrong? A lot!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 433 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Emmett, Esme
by bronzehairedgirl reviews
How does Emmett feel about going to high school? Written for a challenge in the Twilight Challenge Forum.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,126 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Complete
The Importance of Being Emmett
by grumkinsnark reviews
When lives are twisted out of control and no one feels their world will ever be okay again, there must always be one who holds it all together, thrust into a role they don't usually inhabit. This is waiting on the other side of Italy, from Emmett's mind.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,404 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/10/2008 - [Emmett, Rosalie] - Complete
I like bears
by Alice laughed reviews
Emmett in 200 words. I just couldn't leave him alone. I might add other subjects in the future.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 441 - Follows: 65 - Published: 11/2/2007
Rosalie the Mechanic?
by saranicole reviews
I always thought of Rosalie as someone who wouldn’t want to get dirt under her fingernails, so what would prompt her to want to work on a car? This is my story of how Rosalie became a mechanic. Rated T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,522 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/24/2007 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Complete