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Joined 02-27-09, id: 1850845, Profile Updated: 06-29-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.


I'm a huge Bella/Edward fan, I LOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Twilight, I love Avril Lavigne's old songs too(oh puh-leaze...Girlfriend?), I hate school and I'm low esteemed/pessimistic.

Name: Destinee Maudrell

Age: Immortal

Fave Colour: Green, black

Hobbies: GETTING REVIEWS!, Reading Twilight, I'm not bad in b-ball and soccer, its just I don't play, listening to music, something random

Hates: Sexist morons, racist morons, morons, people who have a problem with me reading while eating(DEAL WITH IT!), mean second-language teacher

I swear, I have nothing against blondes, (I'm a brunette), I swear! There are some awesome blondes on earth, I just really loved these jokes!

This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat.

She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.

When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field,
'Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?'

The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.'

The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field,

'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.'

The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again.

The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling,
'If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your butt!"

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.

The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'
and the other one said, 'No they look like moose tracks.'

They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
'Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't even figure out how to start it.'

Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'

The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'

Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.

He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.

He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'

She asks, 'Oh, how come?'

He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

How do you drown a blonde?
put a mirror at the bottom of a pool (jacob said this!)

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home.

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!'

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.

Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash the blonde ran out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, 'I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind policeman!'

Stupid Warnings:

This is a list of all the stupid warnings on the products most of us use daily.

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Not to be used in Children
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

16. On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

17. On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

18. On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

19. On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

20. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

21. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

22. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

23. On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

24. On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

25. On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space. You know them astronauts...)

26. On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

27. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

28. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

29. On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

30. On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you


1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

She was hurt
When she called me that night
She cried as she told me
Of her parents' fight.

I begged her to tell
Before it was too late
She wouldn't do it.
She loved her parents
Even when they felt hate.

I stand with some roses
Her favorites were red
I cried to myself
'Cuz I knew why she was dead.

I wanted to tell
She wouldn't let me
If she wouldn't, I couldn't
They're my parents, said she.

They got worse
Her face was black and blue
I begged her to tell
She said, If you were me, would you?

I wanted to tell
Everyone of her tears
I would have too
If losing her weren't my fear.

Now that she's gone
I have no one to blame
I should have told
I feel so ashamed.

If you have a friend
Who you would hate to be hurt
Put this on your profile
And help spread the word.

Random Sayings-

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if aimed right.

Life was simple, when boys had cooties

Directions to llama land: Turn left at the rainbow, turn right at the unicorn with the butterfly tattoo, if you reach the oenguin, you went too far.

When the world is ending, come over to my house! I'll be hosting the party!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator.

Education is important, school is another story.

School and jail have one difference: Jail food doesn't kill you.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if you still hate them, you're a mile away and just jacked their shoes.

To the losers who say anything's possible, here's a challenge: Slam a revolving door.

Therapist= The Rapist kinda self explanatory

You say I'm not cool. Cool is the same as cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. You finally get me!

I'm so gangsta, I carry a water gun!

I used to be normal, then I met my friends...

I ran with scissors and lived!

You cry, I cry, You laugh, I laugh, You fall off a cliff, I laugh so much harder.

It's just you and me against the world... we attack at dawn.

93 of American teens cried from being called a freak. I'm one of those 7 who said, "Naw! What was your first clue?"

I'm the girl who will laugh, cry, and hum It's a Small World, just because you're my friend and I know you hate it.

Here are things wrong with America:

Only in America, does the pizza have the thirty minutes or less guarantee, while the ambulance gets there "when it can".

If pro is the opposite of con, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Only in America, do banks leave their doors open and chain pens to the desks.

Only in America, do you order a double cheeseburger, a large frie, and a diet coke.

Only in America, do sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get medicine, while healthy people walk to the front to get cigarettes.

Only in America, there is a drive-up ATM with Braille lettering.

Politicians pratice politics. Poli means many; tics means blood-sucking creatures.

When you don't get my friends and my jokes, it's not a "you had to be there", its a "you have to as retarded as us"

My friends are the people, who, if my house was burning, they would be roasting marchmallows and singing camp-fire songs with the firemen.

My friends: You say they're stupid, I say they're just like me!

If I say, You're almost as smart as my smart friend, it's not a compliment.

My friend told me to build a bridge and get over it, I said, "I don't have the instructions."

Only a best friend can say you're stupid. Everyone knows if they try, they'll get the shit beaten out of them.

Friends: Will hide you from the cops
Best friends: probably got them after you in the first place!

Friends: Will bail you out of jail
Best Friends: Will be sitting next to you saying, "That was AWESOME!"

Friends: Will help you get over the guy
Best friends: Will call him with the comforting words, "You have twenty-four hours to live."

Friends: Will help you stop crying
Best friends: Will have a shovel to bury the loser who made you cry

Friends: Know one or two secrets
Best friends: Have made an embarrassing biography of you for blackmail

Friends: Say Mr. and Mrs. to your parents
Best friends: Say, "Mommy, Daddy!"

Friends: Accept your offer to buy their movie ticket at the theater if they can buy the snacks
Best friends: Have already got the money from your sock drawer

Friends: Keep you from embarrassing yourself in public
Best friends: Are too busy video taping it

Friends: Will teach me to drive
Best friends: Will help me roll the damn car into the lake to collect insurance

Friends: Will squeal over Edward Cullen with you
Best friends: Will be planning how to kidnap him with you

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?


Bella or Jacob?


Bella or Alice?


Alice or Jacob?


Rosalie or Alice?

Tie :P

Jasper or Alice?

Tie :P

Jasper or Edward?


Carlisle or Esme?


Emmett or Jasper?


Emmett or Jacob?


Bella or Rosalie?


Esme or Charlie?


Charlie or Carlisle?


Charlie or Billy?


Jacob or Sam?


Sam or Quil?


Quil or Embry?


Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?


Werewolves or Vampires?

Neutral when it comes to this one :D

List twelve of your characters from your fandom, in no particular order.








8)Harry Potter

9)Ginny Weasley

10)Hermione Granger

11)Luna Lovegood


1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Jasper and Hermione...strange, but I guess I could give it a shot.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Jacob? Sort of...

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Edward and Harry...that's wrong on all levels

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yes, and they were pretty good

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Alice and Jasper are already a couple...what a coinky-dink

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

5/9 would be cute -

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Emmett walked in on Alice and Edward having...okay, how would you react if you saw your two siblings...ugh, nevermind

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Carlisle is the hot, young new professor at Hogwarts. All the girls are falling over him. Except one. Hermione Granger. All the girls are puzzled at her attitude, but she knows the truth about Carlisle. Know one else knows, that Carlisle has a wife. So, how did Hermione know?

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Bella and Harry. Haven't found any, but that's cuz I never looked!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

The Mindreader's Therapist :P. I can't think of anything.

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

WARNING: Jasper might be destroyed by an unhappy Edward for his flirting with Bella, unless his awesome macho power save him

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

A week ago

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

"Bella and Emmett are in a happy relationship until Ginny runs off with Jacob. Bella, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Luna, and a brief unhappy affair with Edward (!), then follows the wise advice of Seth and finds true love with Carlisle." Bella and her brother-in-law to be, a vampire, are happy, unil Ginny, a witch, runs off with a werewolf. A broken hearted Bella has a hot one-night stand with another wand-waving witch, and has a brief affair with her FIANCEE, then follows the wise advice of the talkative sandy wolf, and finds true love with her ex-fiance's father...Do I need to point out what's wrong there?

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Fire and Ice by Tari Silmarwen reviews
Human and alien. Hot and cold. Hot Spot and Argent. A series of one-shots dedicated to the pairing of two Honorary Titans. Hot Spot/Argent
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 63,854 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 10/30/2016 - Published: 2/4/2008 - [Argent, Hot Spot]
Late Night Encounters by kyla713 reviews
Lonely ER doc Edward Cullen goes online one night in curiosity, never expecting to find what was awaiting him. AH/possibly some OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 147,881 - Reviews: 9582 - Favs: 9,423 - Follows: 6,439 - Updated: 8/6/2015 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
A Little Bit Weasley by dork-with-glasses reviews
Hugo Weasley. The stress on the 'Hugo' is so you don't get me confused with my relatives. I don't have an inferiority complex. Who told you that lie? Don't listen to anything Mum or Rose has told you! Just an average, boring, awkward teenage boy here. FIC WILL REMAIN INCOMPLETE. LAST CHAPTER EXPLAINS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF WRITING CONTINUED.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 53 - Words: 139,047 - Reviews: 550 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 1/16/2014 - Published: 3/9/2010 - Hugo W. - Complete
All That Remains by wordsmithsonian reviews
Everyone is putting back the pieces, working to accept their new reality in the wake of the final Battle. Post DH canon compliant. HG/RW , HP/GW, GrW/AJ. Rating for language, sex, and adult situations. You know, the good stuff. *Completed*
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 107,663 - Reviews: 571 - Favs: 703 - Follows: 469 - Updated: 8/21/2013 - Published: 1/26/2010 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Calm after the Storm by iwishiwasluna-xoxo reviews
What happens after the war? Can Harry and Ginny get back on track? What's in store for Ron and Hermione. What about George and the rest of the Weasley's? It's all right here...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 20,741 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 8/11/2013 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Jinxed For Life by mistressmarionette reviews
Jinx thought the HIVE Five were officially out of her life. Boy, was she wrong. Chapter 46: It Is An Epilogue
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 46 - Words: 168,195 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 12/30/2011 - Published: 6/11/2006 - Jinx, Kid Flash - Complete
Nightmares by harrykissedher reviews
One-shot. Harry is caught by Bill and Charlie in Ginny's bed; Weasley shouting matches ensue. Angstyness, with a bit of fluff mixed in. Harry/Ginny
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,044 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 38 - Published: 11/5/2011 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Twilight Chat Room by Hypnotized.By.Golden.Eyes reviews
The characters of Twilight chat about whatever they want. Why? Because they can!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 56,702 - Reviews: 829 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 4/13/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009
Sirens of Azeroth by T. Mirai reviews
The Red Thorns is a harem of the most beautiful and desired women of Azeroth. When a young night elf finds herself inducted into their group, will their lascivious, wild lifestyle be too much for her? Or will it give her the adventure she always wanted?
Warcraft - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 195,681 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 5/3/2008 - Night Elf - Complete
Goddess of the Night by surfgirl1 reviews
The wolves didn't stop Laurent in time, so Bella was changed. Now she is the Volturi's greatest enemy, and a completely different person.Izzy has to deal with a lot of things already, so what happens when the Cullens find out what happened to their human?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,132 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Bella - Complete
Across the Table by Rozzy0 reviews
Fifty moments in the life of Harry and Ginny, captured at Harry's kitchen table. Written for the "50 Art of Words" challenge on HPFC.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 24,093 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Broken Moonlight by madikateco reviews
Bella Swan lost her best friend in a freak drunk driving accident and doesn't know the purpose of living anymore. Of course the school jerks and skanks dont help anything. But can she keep herself from falling for the murderer? A/H OC OOC Cannon pairings
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,782 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/8/2011 - Published: 9/8/2009 - Edward, Bella
What Happens in Vegas by BlushingBlondie reviews
It's beautiful." I whispered, as I lifted my hand to look at the diamond ring closer. Then, reality set in. "We're MARRIED?" ExB!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 23,408 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 320 - Updated: 12/3/2010 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Bella, Edward
Through The Looking Glass by casket4mytears reviews
Alice's horrifying visions send Jasper and Alice on a race against time for the one possible thing that may halt the Volturi's evil plans: another living hybrid. In canon with the series; part two in series. Read Down The Rabbit Hole FIRST.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 23 - Words: 86,267 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/1/2010 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Room 15: The Original One Shot by coldplaywhore reviews
Bella Swan is an overachieving know it all, who is forced to work with arrogant Edward Cullen on research project for Medical School. Will they be able to fight their attraction as they work together in the confines of Room 15? M for lemons and language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,887 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 511 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Schizophrenia by Frada reviews
First fic. Raven's powers are thrown out of whack one night and now her emotions are battling for dominance of her body. Wll the Titans survive? T becasue of Robin lol . BBXRae fic with some RobXStar.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,016 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 5/25/2010 - Raven, Beast Boy - Complete
Late Night Kitchen Encounters by feeltheRUSH reviews
After Titans Together. One-shot. Beast Boys hankering for a late night soda, but hospitality dictates he cares for his guests first.
Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,529 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Beast Boy, Melvin - Complete
Saying Sorry by Hopelessly Unromantic reviews
All dialogue one-shot. -How do you know what's right if you've never done it before?-
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Kid Flash, Jinx - Complete
Blue Moon by PsychoPhoenix38 reviews
6 years after Breaking Dawn, the Cullens must deal with finding a new life in high school and to have Renesmee to join them. The Volturi, however, have different plans of how the future will play out. All characters. Multiple perspectives. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 170,186 - Reviews: 614 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 1/19/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Early Days by fairmaidofkent reviews
At seventeen, Lucius Malfoy wants respect, power, and sex. Narcissa Black wants nothing to do with him. Not that it matters; Lucius has no interest in a prissy little snob anyway. Obviously, they were a perfect match. *Not for anyone under the legal age*
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,021 - Reviews: 474 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Lucius M., Narcissa M. - Complete
Hard To Handle by ElloVeeEee reviews
Kristy, a quiet girl with a hidden fiery attitude, is tired of living the small town life. When she starts to attend WSU, she becomes friends with Leah, and breaks out of her shell. Things are going great for Kristy, at least until Leah takes her home.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,839 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 6/2/2010 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Paul, Leah
Till I Hear You Sing by Incidental reviews
And sometimes at nighttime I dream that you are there, but wake holding nothing but the empty air." Miss Black and Young Master Malfoy were forced to end their arrangement. They were not forced to agree to it and accept it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,378 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Narcissa M., Lucius M.
Mistakes and Secrets by Sugar1Candy3 reviews
Penweed story with some Trink. When Penny gets kicked out of her house because of something how will Seaweed react? And what will happen when he reveals a secret of his own? First fanfic.
Hairspray - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,906 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 4/23/2010 - Published: 2/27/2008
Janes Just Want to Have Fun by the muffin man's daughter reviews
Volturi randomness. GayAfton,Dora,Beyonce,JaneCasting,IM,Jane'sDiary,Tangelos, etc. Pretty much what the Volturi do when they're not "saving the world."
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 6,894 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/14/2010 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Jane, Alec
The Kiss by Nintendo Queen reviews
In their school play, Kuzco gets Romeo and Malina gets Juliet, how far is she willing to go to avoid the kisses? What happens when she hurts him and he's willing to throw away the kingdom? Kuzco x Malina
Emperor's New Groove - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,630 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 4/8/2010 - Published: 6/28/2006 - Complete
Baby your the one by XCarlie.CullenX reviews
E/B have been given one final school project. How 2 be parents.The gang is paired off 4 a month can their friendship last through this?Secrets, jobs, drunken mistakes, BABIES how far can friendships be pushed? Is love enough?AH NOMINATED 4 2 CULLEN AWARDS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 56,580 - Reviews: 1139 - Favs: 658 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 3/4/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Seven Sweet Snapshots by guardyanangel reviews
Seven quick moments of semi-related RobStar fluff. A delayed Valentine's Day fic.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,448 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/19/2010 - Robin, Starfire - Complete
Lucky Number 13 by guardyanangel reviews
I am Jinx, bad luck extraordinaire. I am a supervillainess, not a teenage schoolgirl. Which means that I am not supposed to be throwing myself at every knight in shining, bright yellow and red spandex. Minor SeeJinx and Flinx. Post-Lightspeed. Oneshot.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,398 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Jinx, Kid Flash - Complete
Alice by reader13lovesbooks reviews
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 64,046 - Reviews: 2081 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 1/18/2010 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Alice, Jasper
New Moon, Same Sky by Hypnotized.By.Golden.Eyes reviews
Mid-NM - A mysterious massacre hits Forks, and it's obvious to vampires it was the doing of their own kind. The Volturi go to investigate, Victoria is still out for vengeance, and the Cullens panic as they wonder what ever became of Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 87,065 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - [Bella, Edward] Jessica, Mike - Complete
Rose Petals by MissAnoni reviews
There may be a way to change back into a human. But it'll hurt. A lot" What if Rosalie became human again? What if she left Emmett behind? What would he do? What if she didn't remember him? First FanFic! Please R R! Set after Breaking Dawn. Cannon pairing
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,234 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie
Blitz by kdhorserider reviews
BLITZ Academy. Home of the smart, athletic, basketball captain...Bella? Yup! what happens when Edward and the Cullens move to BLITZ boarding school? OOC and Tomboy Bella. Story is better than summary. DISCONTINUED
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,458 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 10/24/2009 - Published: 5/5/2009 - Bella
The Secret Life of Emmett Cullen by ebby 7695 reviews
What does Emmett get up to in his spare time? Pay back and Hilarious material promised. I did not write the Twilight Series, it is Specifically Stephanie Meyers Series.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 59 - Words: 67,011 - Reviews: 379 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 10/17/2009 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Emmett, Edward
If You're Reading This by RobinCullen05 reviews
Bella finds a letter Edward wrote to her while serving in Iraq. Slightly based off the song 'If you're reading this'. ONE-SHOT. All human EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,825 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mile High Club by calamityxcooper reviews
Bella Swan is a very unsatisfied airline hostess - in many ways. What happens when she meets the gorgeous - yet possibly gay - Edward Cullen? Sparks fly, thats what. Warning: very suggestive, and language. May become an M fic later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,023 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/2/2009 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Bella, Edward
Alphabetically by WritingOnTheStars reviews
It had been such a harrowing road that sometimes she had to stop and assure herself that this was all real, and that they were both really this happy. Draco/Luna drabble collection.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,565 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Draco M., Luna L.
Summer of Smut Contest Rules by Summer of Smut reviews
Rules for submission and general information.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/1/2009 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Complete
You Have Me Confused With Someone Else by MisunderstoodDreamer7 reviews
Elphaba accidentally casts a spell that makes people think that she's Galinda, and Galinda's the green girl! Kinda AU if you wanna look at it that way. Fiyerba fluff. Musicalverse. *Gasp* She actually wrote a musicalverse! Please review!
Wicked - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,048 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Elphaba T., Fiyero T. - Complete
I Love You by SereneCalamity reviews
Ed finally tells Carter that he loves her, with an unexpected repsonse. EdCarter. OneShot.
Princess Protection Program - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Carter M. - Complete
Gossip Girl AKA Jessica Stanley by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Spotted: BS sporting an all black outfit, but thats nothing new, not after what happened last.....NO! A silver volvo zipping past the “Welcome to Forks” sign. Could it be? Is EC really back?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 17,449 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Complete
She Won't Confess She's Beautiful by smileatthemonsters reviews
How I think PPP should have ended // When Carter's plan goes horribly wrong and she ends up way over her head, who will be there to save her? How far will they go to make sure she comes home safely? Ed/Carter, Multichapter.
Princess Protection Program - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,017 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Carter M.
Emmett's Question by Carlisle'sPetiteDefenseur reviews
Emmett has a question, and he really wants to get it answered but it seems like no one has time for his silliness.Will he find our what he wanted to know? -Oneshot-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,369 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/30/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Little Smirk by OperationSeth reviews
Bella Swan just got back home when she catches her boyfriend cheating on her. This story is about how she gets back and gets even. Join her as she finds closure, new friends, and maybe even something more. ALL HUMAN/CANNON PAIRINGS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,565 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
Second Chance by Cecilia1204 reviews
Jasper is a professor who is afraid to love again. Alice is his student who is determined break through that fear and fill the lonely places in his heart. AH/AU. First fanfiction ever. Rated M for future chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 106,967 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Twilight Musical! by luvdacullens reviews
A spoof of random Twilight scenes, complete with musical numbers! Co-written with Margaritaville01.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,920 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/25/2009 - Published: 4/2/2009
The Lie Detector Test by TeaCullen reviews
*Complete* What started off as a joke turned into the game of a lifetime. Who would survive the questioning and what surprises do the Cullen's have in store for each other? Rated M for language, suggestive themes, ect. Cannon pairings. OOC at times. R&R.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 30,579 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 4/6/2009 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Maggie - Complete
Save Kiss by orangekitty160 reviews
Bella is starting a new school in the middle of the freshman year, and meets her room-mate Alice and her friend Rosalie. she meets one boy, Edward, and immediately hates him. but what happens when he challenges her to a kissing contest....? all human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 40,705 - Reviews: 1336 - Favs: 807 - Follows: 509 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Boy Meets Girl by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Complete. They met each other on a subway. She was still wearing the bracelet from the hospital. He still had track marks from the night before. My answer to a challenge. No character deaths or abuse. All human. Alice and Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 953 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
The Cullen's Secret by AidennPluto reviews
Bella has a lot to learn about living forever. Some, she learns the hard way, like the fact that monogamy isn't exactly in the Cullens' dictionary. Beware the oversexed Cullens. And an unsympathetic Rosalie.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,978 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Welcome to Arizona by Aisling-91 reviews
Edward and Jasper are in Arizona on business, but they take a little time to mix in some pleasure when they visit a strip club. ExJ/ExJxB. Oneshot. AU/OOC. Mature: Smut
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,370 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 75 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
IM with the cullens! yay! by pinkcrayon1101 reviews
Mkay, so I know this is REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY overdone.. but I wanted to do it! I hope you find it funny! lol. The names should be pretty obvious..................................... HOPE YOU LIKE IT! **Please read, as you probably know, I suck at summaries**
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,994 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/10/2009 - Published: 12/31/2008
Multiples by tennisjunkie reviews
Inspired by the "Sexy Edward Contest" - Bella is frustrated and calls Edward up for a booty call. AH. GRAPHIC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,265 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 1,651 - Follows: 548 - Updated: 10/10/2008 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Third Party by silver drip reviews
After many years of marriage Edward brings up the subject of a threesome. One shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,081 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 32 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Easily Entertained by sillybella reviews
Exactly how do the Cullens tease Edward before he goes to watch Bella sleep? Comes before Her Worst Nightmare.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 68 - Published: 12/5/2006 - Complete
Hot Stuff by sillybella reviews
Emmett and Jasper are worried about Edward and Bella's relationship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 439 - Favs: 915 - Follows: 152 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
Closet Bohemia by Raine Lionheart reviews
Harry's flight from Filch's wrath ends him up in a pitchblack broom closet with a young woman who's as clueless as he is. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,223 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 1,229 - Follows: 163 - Published: 7/28/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Werewolf and Metamorph by LavenderBrown reviews
COMPLETED. Lupin's life changes irrevocably when he meets a young, clumsy witch named Tonks. Rated R for language, violence, sexual situations and mature themes. Spoilers for OotP. Please RR!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 59,238 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 546 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 9/24/2003 - Published: 9/12/2003 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
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I'll Be With You Always reviews
Bella has an odd power, one she doesn't truly believe in. Until her best friends and brother die in an accident. So why is it she cannot see their ghosts? 4 years later, she gets her answer, when she meets Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Edward again.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,383 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 10/2/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Keep Holding On reviews
Jacob proposes to Nessie and Bella and Edward allow them to marry. The next day however, they get a letter from Aro. What could it mean? I swear the story is better than the summary, plz read!DISCONTINUED
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,337 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/2/2009 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob