XOurNewReligionX
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Joined 02-28-09, id: 1851325, Profile Updated: 07-03-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

That's me on the right. My names Sarah, and I'm fourteen!

I love...Four leafed clovers, Friends, Family, Sisters, First barbaques of the summer, The snow, Reading, Lauging until you cry, Memories, Lie in's on a sunday, Perfect blue skies, Feeling happy, Being lucky, Daisy Chains, Easter Eggs, Spotting the brightest star in the sky, Dreaming, Sleeping Individuality, Cool slogans, France, Being British (sometimes), singing in the shower, innocence, and those rare perfect days that you normally only get to dream about :)

Please R&R my fanfic's and BE NICEEE!

xxxxxx

Also check out my friend Sadie's fanfic. Sooooo good! Lots of love Sadie!! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4942906/1/Remembering_Me READ IT!!

These are my favourite quotes:

If you live life with your head in the sand all that people are going to see is an arse.

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

If your going to be two faced, can you at least make one of them pretty?

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Winning may not be everything, but losing has little to recommend it.

Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of.

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

The idea of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.

Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.

There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

"When there's a will, I want to be in it."

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

They laugh because I'm different...i laugh because they're the same.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

He who laughs last didn't get it.

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

PHOEBE: Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow!! :D :D Love you xx

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

''There's no i in team'' What idiot thought that up? I'll tell you - some loser who was never chosen to be in anyone's group!

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I want to die in my sleep like my great grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I like long walks- especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me. PhoebecoughPhoebe :D :D

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. That’s another one for you, Pheebs xx

You know what? Earth sucks. I’m going home

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

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All Because of A Reese's by Shai Butter reviews
“I will love you forever if you let me have that,” I said suddenly, surprising myself. Edward chuckled. “Is that a promise?” he teased...Forget about Alice, Edward is Bella's new college roommate. What will happen? Is love in the air? Full summary inside!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 56,131 - Reviews: 1745 - Favs: 1,041 - Follows: 626 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward the Beta by TheNinjaWolf reviews
Edward is a 'beta' werewolf. He's trying to have an affair with Jacob's girlfriend.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,012 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Edward
Hello, Stranger by Burrberry Bugsy reviews
A college class has everyone pairing up as married couples for 28 days. But how hard would it be to focus on passing the class when you’re paired up with your worst enemy’s girlfriend? How much worse when you actually started to fall for her? ON HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 145,802 - Reviews: 2696 - Favs: 2,236 - Follows: 2,313 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Girl Child by zaddiecaso reviews
Post Eclipse, the volturi let Bree go on the conditions she stays with the Cullens. How will they cope with Bella and Edward's wedding coming up and a vampire that thirsts for the bride's blood and something else of the grooms...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,635 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 4/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Promise Not To Let You See Me Cry by My Jacob reviews
Every summer that Bella spends with the Cullens is messed up, whacked, wrong. But her twenty-third summer is the worst yet. With Edward's surprise visitor, and a stunning proposition, what is going to happen this summer? A little E/T, but otherwise canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,440 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Bella, Edward
Wide Awake OUTTAKES by AngstGoddess003 reviews
These are chapter outtakes for WA. Scenes and false starts that didn't make the cut, but still have some funny and good moments. Just for fun. Not srs bsns. Don't read if you've become attached to the finer details in the story. M for language and stuff.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,902 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 597 - Follows: 403 - Updated: 1/30/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mesmerised reviews
Seven years has passed since Edward left, and Bella is struggling slowly on with her new husband Jacob and daughter Lyra. But what happens when vampires suddenly burst back into her life with a sudden attack from Victoira? How will Edward react?COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 47,804 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 5/6/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Unavoidable Love reviews
Renesmee's different from the rest of the Cullen's. They're so perfect and set in their own ways and habits and always reining her in- when all she wants is to be free. And then there's Jacob. How will she ever see him as anything other than a brother?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,330 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/30/2009 - Published: 4/24/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob