Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter.
Dear Random Person Currently Reading my Profile,
Hello! *waves* Choose one/multiple of the following "If you"'s and follow the instructions you find.
1) If you don't like to read/write, you shouldn't be on this site. So please leave.
2) If you want to read a FanFic, please scroll down the page until you find the stories and choose one!
3) If you really need a laugh, scroll down a little and read the nonsense things. *If you really need one, I hope you do laugh*
4) If you want a brownie/cookie, review!
5) If you want to go to Mars, I am sorry but my rocketship is currently full. However I do accept bribes in the form of chocolate frogs.
5a) If you are against bribery, the next trip will occur shortly. Admission is a pack of Red Vines.
6) If you understood the aformentioned references, go accept your kudos.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile.
If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile!
98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels!
If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile!
Admitting you are weird means you are normal! Saying that you are normal is odd! If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself! It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird! If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile!
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile!
92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breath any more, Put this in your profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off!
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile!
Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile!
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile!
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile!
Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. copy and paste this if you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever add a author to your favorites list because of their profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Trying is the first step toward failure.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."
“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V.
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "Damn!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his friends,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!
1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. You just tried to do the above.
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot.
5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity......
20. Copy and paste this to your profile to make people smile...
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