EmKen
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Joined 03-03-09, id: 1854825, Profile Updated: 04-04-10

Hi i'm Emily, or EmKen,

Nobody actually reads this stuff so if you are email and I will put this right!!

Right then, I'm a bit mental(bit is an understatement) and my friends got me into this, uh oh, bad news for them. Oh well their fault. So i've tried writing, 2 stories ish so far(read it), and it's proobably really bad(No it is really bad). If you have any spare ideas please do PM me cause I have none right now. Which is totaly rubbish!! (NO my writing is totally rubbish)
So I'll stop spouting rubbish(oh look more rubbish) and let you get reading(2 stories, more rubbish)!!

By the way, Sparky featured in later nonsense is my Unicorn and he breaths fire!! Ahhhhhhhh I love Sparky.

If you read this rubbish please feel free to PM me and tell me what you think about my mad ramblings.

EmKen loves you!!

So we established no one reads this...but I felt like writing more! Mwhahahaha, more mad ramblings from EmKen.
Anyway, just to say to anyone who is actually readin it I will finish Three Year Old I'm just haveing problems finding the time to finish the next chapter, and having the ideas that I need to finish it. Thanks for reading!!

Love you all.
EmKenXxX


If you are Doctor Who/Torchwood obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something (cough torchwood cough doctor who cough) that now everyone (myself included) is terrified of you cos of it's effects, put this into your profile.

If you have a best friend that ALSO has an obsession with fanfiction and are very greatful to him/her for it, Copy and paste this onto your Profile! (That's you Fi3fi3 and Time Lady 802379 :D)

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews (or maybe even one review...), add this to your profile

If you've made a friend into a Doctor Who and (now) Torchwood fan copy and paste this into your profile.

If you go hyper from reading/watching/talking about Doctor Who copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you turn every conversation you're in around to Doctor Who copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.(Ah I would die!!)

If you've ever seen a movie or a TV show (You know which ones I mean, lol) so many times you can quote it word for word and you do at random times or when the moment seems to need a quote, even when whoever you are quoting it to doesn't understand it; put this in your profile.

WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you can easily finish a novel in one day, put this on your profile!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, or TV etc. to come out/be release/premiere, copy this into your profile.

If you get irritated by people who use American spellings for character speech in stories that are set in Britain or Australia, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a book character (Do I really need to say who?) copy this to your profile.(Well, how about at least one charecter per book, plus the charecter I made up)

If you hear the voices of characters (Again, do I really need to say who...) in your head, put this onto your profile.

If fanfiction is to you what myspace is to other people, copy and paste this in to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you are a girl and you don't wear make-up, or if you are a guy and you do, paste this in your profile because you rock.

If you don't care what other people think about you or your clothes, about how much money you have, or about how pretty you are, paste this in your profile.

If you ever actually read these things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy and paste this if you support the complete destruction of people who's only contribution to a review is to write the letters: lol. I would rather have no reviews at all than a hundred of these.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off!

() () () ()
(+'.'+) (- '.' -) Help Plusle and Minum take over fanfcition! Copy and paste this on your profile and don't forget to add your name to there army list! There Army: ROSELIACOOL, KengoGirl, KeytoDestiny, Mightyena26, Starlight Nightmare, Sailor-TimeLord, Time Lady 802379, EmKen

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.(Well..)

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.(LOL art with the pigieons, did you know pidgeons make really good company??)

Smiling is good for you. If you frown, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think president Bush is one of the worst leaders in history, copy this into your file

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (Explosions are so awesome, duh.)

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this onto your profile.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Happiness is like a disease, contagious by touch...POKE! :D

It's not my fault! The voices told me to do it!

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.(LOL I don't even try that quest)

If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile.(What about more than 1000)

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.(LOL more than once)

If you think that the news is depressing, copy this into your profile.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

A recent study shows that 92 percent of all teenagers have moved on to rap, put this in your profile if you're one of the 8 percent who stayed with REAL music.

If there are times you wanna annoy people for just the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy this into your profile.

If you like your mom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your singing in your head right this second, copy and paste this into your profile.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!! ... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, then copy this onto your profile, or else that little world will be destroyed by Fanfiction!

Sicence prvoes taht eevn wehn the wrods are srcabmled up you can sitll raed tihs. Cpoy tihs itno yuor porfile if you can raed tihs!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

For me, crazy is like a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have a long-term sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you know you are crazy, copy this onto your profile!

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and having a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just to help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this onto your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with your yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this onto your profile!

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this onto your profile!

If you're a tomboy and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!


So I thought this was rather cool!!

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH (or part Irish), so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH(ish), so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. (sorta a goth...)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang
out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.(Well I am)

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to bash your head in with a brick.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to steal all your stuff.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be stupid and the tests are getting easier.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST tag schools.
I CRY easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.


Couldn't resist!!

Randomly list 12 characters from your favourite TV show:

1 – Jack

2 – 10th Doctor

3 – Ianto

4 – Rose

5 – Martha

6 – Donna

7 – Master

8 – Sarah Jane Smith

9 – Face of Boe

10 – Daleks

11 – Luke Rattigan (can't spell)

12– Cybermen

1.Have you ever read a 6/11 fic?

Donna/Luke! No but it might be quite funny!

2.Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?

No, but a lot of guys I know do!

3.What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?

A Cyberman got Sarah Jane Smith pregnant!! Oh no I hope not. Probably WW3

4.Can you recall any fics about 9?

Face of Boe, well yes but I couldn't recall by name!

5.Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

10th Doctor and Donna. Most likely not cause Donna would die first!!

6. 5/9 or 5/10? Why?

Martha/Face of Boe, Martha/Daleks. Hmmmmmm, first one you never know, depends if you count Jack as a young guy as Face of Boe. Second, NO!

7.What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 having sex?

The Master walked in on the 10th Doctor and Daleks. He would probably join in. Interesting concept!

8.Make a summary for a 3/10 fic.

Ianto/Daleks. WW3, what else can I say, if Jack found out!

9.Is there such thing as 1/8 fluff?

Yes Jack/Sarah Jane Smith, normally 'M' rated and include Luke Smith as well.

10.Suggest a title for a 7/12 comfort fic.

Master/Cybermen ummmmmm, Love at the end of the world, someone should write that!!

11.What kind of plot would you use for 4 to deflower 1?

Rose to deflower Jack, should be the other way round, but it wouldn't have to follow a plot. Jack would take care of that!

12.Does anyone on your friends list read 3 het?

Ianto, oh yes.

13.Do any of your friends write/draw 11?

Daleks, yes same person as the last question.

14.Would anyone of your friends list write 2/4/5?

10Doctor/Rose/Martha probably

15.What might 10 scream at a moment of great passion?

EXTERMINATE

16. If you wrote a songfic about 8, what song would you choose?

Sarah Jane Smith, something ABBAish, she seems like that kind of person.

17. If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be?

Jack/Donna/Cyberman well OC and probably 'M'

18.What might be a good pick-up line for 10 to use on 2?

Daleks on 10th Doctor, How about we start where we left off?

19.When was the last time you read a fic about 5?

Martha, ages ago

20.What is 6’s super secret kink?

Donna-no idea

21.Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or sober?

Luke/ Face of Boe No sorry

22.If 3 and 7 get together, who tops?

Ianto/Master the Master but only before Jack got there and killed him

23."(1) and (9) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3). " What title would you give this fic?

."Jack and Face of Boe are in a happy relationship until Face of Boe runs off with Rose. Jack, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Luke and a brief unhappy affair with Cybermen, then follows the wise advice of Martha and finds true love with Ianto.
Well that is a perfect ending and a really weird coninsidence at the beginning. So "Paradoxes and Happy Endings" Someone should really write that!

24.How would you feel if 7/8 was canon?

Master/Sarah Jane Smith don't know it would be weird

LOL that was quite good!

40 Things You Don't Need To Know about me!
(A questionnaire I filled out)

1. Where's #1 on your top 8?
Ummmmmmmmmmmm at the top!!Maybe, i can't really remember.

2. What is your favorite possession?
LAPTOP-so I can use Fanfic

3. Do you own a gun?
Well, I could kill you with a pen and it would be much more fun, so...no need!

4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
What ex? ... Who have you been speaking to? Huh Huh?

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
No, Sparky comes with me

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Sparky the blue nosed Unicorn

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
A lot of pills to make me sain. They don't work

9. Can you do a push up?
Nope, LOL bad memories of last time I tried!! :)

10. Is your bathroom clean?
NO, Sparky's fault

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My cross

12. Do you take painkillers?
Wooooo yes, but not when i don't need them

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Me, I am my own weapon

14. Do you have A.D.D.? (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Did you see that bird? ...sorry what was the question.

15. What's your name?
Sparky says to look inside my self for the answer...I can't see inside my self the mirror won't bend!!

16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment
1) I love Sparky 2) John Barrowman! 3) Am I going mental?

17. Name the last 3 things you have bought
1) Phone) 2) Sparky's sugar cubes 3) Food

18. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink
1) Water 2) Squash 3) Lemonade

19. Current worry?
NONE I am happy :D

20. Current hate?
:( that i have nearly finished school! :O

21. Favorite place(s) to be?
Internet

22. How did you bring in the New Year?
By watching the TV

23. Where would you like to go?
To the Moon with Sparky

24. Do you own slippers?
Nope

25. What shirt are you wearing?
School one with mosse down it!!

26. Favorite color(s)?
Purple

27. Are you gay?
No, but it depends on who you ask

28. Do you sing in the shower?
Nope

29. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
A monster, ahhhhhhhhhhh

30. Best bed sheets as a child?
Harry Potter

31. Worst injury you've ever had?
Dunno

32. Who is your loudest friend?
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna

34. Does someone have a crush on you?
Don't think so

35. Do you wish on shooting stars?
Only if Sparky tells me too

36. What is your favorite candy?
Galaxy Chocolate

37. What song(s) do/did you want played at your wedding?
the wedding march...DUH

38. What song(s) do you want played at your funeral?
The funeral march...DUH DUH

39. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
Sleeping

40. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, Sparky don't lick my head

Notes to self:

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist".

29.People are staring at you.

30.So act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40.You know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. O~O

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52.You cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71.Eat the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81.Do not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

101.Sparky the Unicorn is real no matter what people tell you.

102. People who say Sparky isn't real must die.

103. Scrap last note

104.People who say Sparky isn't real must die a horrible painful death.

Wow and most of this actually refers to what goes on in my mind. Scary! Sparky says HI!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Revealed in Shadows by Druid Star reviews
Trapped, no way out. One person can save everyone: but only at the cost of everything? Merlin’s secret is out! First one ever! Please R/R.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,088 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 5/23/2013 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Merlin
Migraines by believeinsherlock221B reviews
Merlin has a migraine, and Arthur goes to try to help him feel better. One shot. Modern AU
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,037 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 22 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Feel Your Pain by Myashke reviews
Merlin takes Arthur's pain without permission.
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,532 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 34 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Coffee Shop Chronicles by sci-fi.is.my.life reviews
What happens when you throw a dash of Jack, a spoon of Ianto, a hint of Tosh and a dash of Owen? And as teenagers? You get Coffee Shop Chronicles of course . . . Chapter 11 up.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,825 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J.
Inevitability by AllyEmrys reviews
Broken Merlin. Unbreakable Arthur. Cameras and celli and really awful coffee and painful relationships and frightening pasts and snow and kisses and the fact that they will always, always find each other in the end.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,834 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 1/22/2011 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Wounds by HeavenlyBodies reviews
It was an act of instinct, nothing mattered beyond the breath of the man in his arms. -o-o-Warnings: Near deathness- not a death!fic, everybody with the exception of random nameless bandits of doom lives
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,143 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 16 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Let Sleeping Sorcerers Lie by Pineapple Bacardi reviews
Merlin finds the whole thing horribly ridiculous. He's not even that sick. Merlin/Arthur. Future!fic.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,211 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 30 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Love Like Quicksilver by A-Spirit reviews
I want to be the boy you fall for while everyone else is falling for you. ARTHUR/MERLIN.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,947 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Painful Love by UnKnowning10 reviews
Merlin and Arthur are in the forest, they discover something that will change their lives forever.EnJoY.Slash.
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,781 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Arthur, Merlin
In Darkness by thesilversun reviews
Sometimes even Jack needs rescuing. Until then he's just got his own thoughts for company, and they aren't pleasant ones. Jack/Ianto. Brief non-graphic mention past torture.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,829 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/17/2010 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Medical Discoveries of the Future by IheartJanto-X reviews
Originally a "Captain and Coffee Boy" fic, Jack has a slight issue with his 51st century genetics, one that affects Ianto just as much as him. How will they cope? Warnings - Mpreg
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,752 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Jack H., Ianto J.
My Unicorn by twilightHDfan reviews
Merlin leaves for work, only to find an unexpected surprise on his door step. Merlin/Arthur. SLASH. Modern Day. Fluff.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,464 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
The Perfect Servant by Loopstagirl reviews
What does it take for Arthur to realise the servant he has is the one he needs? Non-slash!
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,356 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 42 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Pieces of Us by dentedsky reviews
Wherein Morgana Hires Merlin to Pretend to be Her Boyfriend So Arthur Doesn't Find Out She's a Big, Big Slutty Person. Um. But it's Merlin/Arthur slash, comedy, modern!AU.
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,283 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 288 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Battle Broken by elfmaiden4legs reviews
Set just after S1, just before S2. The new Doctor and Rose return to Satalite Five to find Jack, but sick, and wounded can the Doctor heal the man willing to give up his life to save Earth or are they too late to save an old friend? AU!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,157 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 5/25/2010 - Published: 2/22/2010 - 10th Doctor, Jack H. - Complete
Alliance by shadowglove reviews
When Arthur finds out his father is making an alliance with the magical barbarians in the forest, he refuses to marry any of the daughters of Lord Balinor Emrys. But somehow he can't stay away from Balinor's only son, the ethereal Merlin.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,174 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 1,454 - Follows: 230 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
A fall in the right direction by Whiteghost37 reviews
Merlin falls, Arthur feels guilty? My first Merthur story. Modern AU, slash. Enjoy!
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,268 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 17 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Life's Revelations: Gifts and Greetings by Xennie.B reviews
Life's Revelations #? - Jack and Ianto have their first Christmas in their house with a new arrival and Ianto's family.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,844 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
You're Not Allowed To Be Ill by Merthur reviews
When Merlin gets a cold Arthur worries a bit too much. SLASH Merthur one-shot. Please read and review!
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,604 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 61 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Breaking Point by Persephone of Peridot reviews
Poor Merlin. He almost loses his mother. Then he almost loses Gaius. Then he loses his first love. Then he lost Morgana. Then he loses his father. How much can Merlin take before he reaches his breaking point? *MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ALL EPISODES*
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,730 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 608 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 5/6/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
You Cannot Leave Me Behind by Nyxelestia reviews
Merlin is unable to handle the guilt from the events of Season 2. Arthur may not know what's going on, but he knows that something is wrong with Merlin. Warnings inside.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,989 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 42 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Too Long In The Sun by Dru reviews
During a heat wave in Camelot, Merlin learns the definition of “cruel and unusual punishment”.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,619 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 33 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Notice by Merthur reviews
Arthur and Merlin think they are hiding their relationship well, until Merlin gets hurt, will people notice? SLASH Merthur one-shot. Please read and review!
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,598 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 314 - Follows: 38 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
The Prince in Waiting by May Eve reviews
Blood may not make us who we are, but it certainly can be blamed for a revelation of royalty. And when your family, your land, your people need you, what would you give up? Everything? Inspired/based off of Nyxelestia's "Lineage".
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,033 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Merlin
Battared and bruised, I still love you by inkinmyheartandonthepage reviews
Arthur has been rather snappy, reducing everyone to tears all becuase Merlin has gone home for a visit. Feelings and secrets will be revealed when Merlin comes back battared and bruised! Arthur/Merlin Mor/Gwen Rted T for safety. please r&r
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,684 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 52 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Confessions by vespertine dreams reviews
Arthur is going to make Merlin talk to him whether he likes it or not. Slash- Arthur/Merlin.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/10/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
I'm A Sorcerer, But That's OK by LadyGuhGah reviews
Adapted from the movie 'I'm A Cyborg, But That's Okay.' Merlin thinks he's a sorcerer, but nobody believes him. His mother has him admitted to the hospital, where he meets a charming kleptomaniac named Arthur. M/A, Warnings inside.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,418 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Doctors Can Be Good PatientsIn Theory by Nyxelestia reviews
In theory, doctors can be good patients. Merlin, however, is not one such doctor. A fic where Merlin is sick, and Arthur takes care of him. Gooey fluff. Slash
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
The Strangest Things Happen in Elevators by too-much-like-Luna reviews
Written for prompt: "Arthur/Merlin AU, Arthur is the male Paris Hilton, living in one of his father's hotels, he and his friends tease Merlin, one of the hotel cleaners, mercilessly ...that is until Arthur's forced somehow to spend time with Merlin."
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,020 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/12/2010 - Arthur, Merlin
Slipping and Sliding by Loopstagirl reviews
A one shot of Merlin and Arthur in the snow. What more needs to be said?
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,312 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 15 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Live a little by Shirokaga reviews
“Merlin came to the party mostly because he wanted to keep an eye on his good friend Gwen. The notorious swot had had an epiphany and decided to “seize the moment”.” Will Merlin follow his friend’s example? One-shot. AU. Arthur/Merlin. Please review;D
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,048 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 47 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Just Another Heart In Need Of Rescue by Rietta reviews
AU. Ianto is a tailor, resourceful as ever; and Jack is doing what Jack does best: saving people.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,038 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/8/2010 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Stormy weather by vespertine dreams reviews
Arthur witnesses Merlin using his magic after they are forced to shelter for the night in an abandoned cabin. Pre-slash - Merlin/Arthur.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,993 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Once Upon A Time by cjh4ever reviews
In the 12 days leading up to Christmas various fairy tale characters arrive in Cardiff to be dealt with by the Torchwood team of Jack, Gwen and Ianto along with Rhys and Andy.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,004 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/25/2009 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Complete
Black Friday by Nyxelestia reviews
Only Americans would have a holiday dedicated to shopping. They weren't even Yanks, and yet somehow Merlin still got dragged along for this. They were so going to pay for this...slash, humor, slight Yank!bashing done by a Yank.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,633 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/26/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Second Star To The Right, Straight On 'Til Morning by Nyxelestia reviews
Modern!AU. Having little time left to live once the cancer wins, and in too much pain to do so, Merlin decides to end his life to get away from the pain. Arthur holds him in his last moments of life. Tear-jerker, euthanasia. Fic from kinkme-merlin. Slash
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,626 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 9 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Servant by PumpkinSparks8616 reviews
After Arthur upsets Merlin, the Warlock decides that he's had enough and he plans to leave but Cedric's evil plans get in the way and Merlin is forced to reveal his magic. How will Arthur react. Sort of alternate ending to 02x01. Slash
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,020 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 53 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Saving a Prat by Haliii reviews
A fic where Merlin saves Arthur's life again, but not without consequence. After all the drama, he finds himself bedridden. One-shot, rated for safety. Please review.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,962 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Love, Darkness Shall Follow Thee by Pineapple Bacardi reviews
Slash. It takes all the self-restraint in Arthur's body to not get off the bed, grab his sword, and go down down to the feast and cut Lord Cedrick's throat open. Merlin/Arthur.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,968 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 57 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
The Quality of Mercy by Nyxelestia reviews
Uther starts to notice a few things about Arthur and his manservant. Which remind him a bit too much of a Queen and Sorceress, from his own past, for comfort. For Round 1 of the merlincapfics challenge on LiveJournal. Uther's POV, Arthur/Merlin slash
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 21,976 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 10/25/2009 - Uther - Complete
Not Now, Not Ever by JulieGee reviews
Merlin and Arthur discover their destiny through words and deeds. Arthur/Merlin. WARNING: Descriptive Violence, descriptive m/m sex, angst.
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 26,825 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 10/28/2009 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
The Once And Future Prat by QueenMegaera reviews
Continuation of the latest episode of season 2, "beauty and the beast - part 1". Merlin vs. Troll. Merlin vs. Uther. Merlin is forced to show where his loyalties lie. Warning: Massive spoilers. Rated T for bad language.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,325 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 23 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Three Revelations by Sati James reviews
Merlin is forced to reveal his magic and Arthur reacts in the worst way possible. Wracked with guilt and grief as Merlin’s life ebbs away can Arthur fix the nightmare of his own creation? Can be read either way, very deep friendship or very light slash
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,843 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 10/23/2009 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
With Flaming Sword by Tetsubinatu reviews
After Merlin and Arthur are captured by a rogue knight Merlin reveals his powers to save them both. WARNINGS: Adult concepts. V. mild Merlin/Arthur slash.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,152 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 16 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Wait for the Static to Clear by emrysmile reviews
Twenty-nine minutes later Arthur received the call." Arthur/Merlin pre-slash. Warning: VERY angsty.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,524 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/17/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Mind Games by thesilversun reviews
During the year that never was Jack finds out that sometimes the cruellest tortures of all are those produced within our own minds. Major spoilers for end of DW series 3 and vague spoilers for TW series 2. Dark themes. Eventually JackIanto
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,291 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/5/2009 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Manservants Shouldn't Play With Sharp Things by Pineapple Bacardi reviews
Slash. Children really shouldn't play with sharp things, and as it turns out, so shouldn't Merlin. Arthur/Merlin.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,850 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 349 - Follows: 31 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
My Last Christmas Eve Upon Westminster Bridge by emrysmile reviews
The Thames offer an escape but Merlin offers a new start. Surely the choice is easy? --- Arthur/Merlin, Suicidal Themes.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,394 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
What's Past is Prologue by ChudleyCanons reviews
Modern AU. It is Merlin's 26th birthday but Arthur has to work and hasn't given Merlin his present yet. A series of flashbacks tell the story of how they met and how their relationship developed. Again the title is Shakespeare's. Not mine.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,703 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 25 - Published: 9/8/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
In Sickness And In Health by Pineapple Bacardi reviews
Slash. In which Merlin is sick and stubborn, and Arthur is irritated and worried. Arthur/Merlin.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 39 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
A Tree Grows In Wales by ArtificialAorta reviews
Gwen invited Jack and Ianto to a Cooper Clan get together in the county. She's never going to make that mistake again...
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Jack H., Gwen C. - Complete
Lightening Doesn't Strike Twice by MaydayParadeFtw reviews
Jack replied, "I left once, but lightening doesn't strike twice, Ianto." “It does,” His blue stare pierced right through Jack, “But only if that person is too dumb to move away.” Angst, but ends with fluff. Janto! Set after the Year That Never Was.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,389 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/27/2009 - Published: 8/18/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Ealdor by shadowglove reviews
Sequel to While You Slept. AU. preslash. Two months after Arthur was taken Merlin saved a young druid boy, raising the five-year-old, and eight months later Arthur returns with his knights and Morgana. Merlin realizes who Arthur is, and Arthur has a plan.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,550 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 660 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 8/13/2009 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Just one day by Loopstagirl reviews
A bored Arthur decides to be a servant for a day and discovers a few truths about what is really going on.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,763 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 721 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Arthur - Complete
Life's Revelations: Head Games by Xennie.B reviews
Life's Revelations #? - A few of Ianto's UNIT friends see a new side of Ianto and Cpt Harkness when they come to UNIT demanding changes.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,591 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 16 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Triple Latté by PreviouslyJerBear reviews
Jack laughed, because he was expected to, because it was so obviously a joke. He wondered if Ianto could tell it was fake.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,412 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Can You See Me? by Just Gabz reviews
Jack Harkness disappears but is he as far away as everyone thinks?
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,386 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/16/2009 - Published: 4/2/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Route 412 by PreviouslyJerBear reviews
Ianto was on the bus when it happened. There was a sharp swerve, and then a warm body was falling down on top of him.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,585 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Complete
Nightmares of Death by HuckingHarkness reviews
Simple. The title literally says it all. Jack's having Nightmares about his deaths during the year that never was. Ianto helps.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,619 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Jack Gets Ill by better-than-catastrophe reviews
Jack gets ill and calls Ianto for help.
Torchwood - Rated: K - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,037 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Not Just A Key by PreviouslyJerBear reviews
‘Oh, it’s… a key. It’s your key, to my house.’
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,249 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Complete
Ianto's sick day by ToxicLollipopShock reviews
Jack makes a vow to look after Ianto
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,911 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J.
Life's Revelations: Unexpected Meetings by Xennie.B reviews
Life's Revelations #? - Jack decides Ianto's due for a break and a bit of a sleep in. So Jack sets out to complete Ianto's morning chores for him, unfortunately things don't quite go according to plan.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,046 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 22 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Jack and Life by HuckingHarkness reviews
Er, Jack takes longer than usual to recover, during KKBB, this just explores that a little. The reasons, how Ianto feels etc
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,619 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Bloodlust by Just Gabz reviews
Ianto is bitten by an alien and is slowly effected by it. Can the team save him before it's too late?
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,496 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Obvious by mattmetzger reviews
Ianto thinks Jack is obvious, Jack thinks about his job, and Owen thinks the pair of them should stop making eyes at each other, because he's out of coffee. Jack/Ianto, oneshot, pointless.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,097 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
It's Not All Bad Out There by cjh4ever reviews
Jack gives the team some much needed R&R in an out of this world location. Set after Sleeper.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,852 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Complete
Stuck by Candybree reviews
Due to weather the team gets stuck in the Hub. A question from Gwen leads to Jack and Ianto talking. Set just after Jack gets back from the Year That Never Was. Janto fluff and rated for safety.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,970 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Roommates by ScaredandConfused reviews
AU, Fresher students at the University of Camelot, Merlin and Arthur find they have to share a room. Slash.
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,820 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 1/29/2009 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Memory Lapse by Just Gabz reviews
Jack And Ianto are investigating an alien artefact when a burst of light hits them, what must the team do to fix the effects?
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,626 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Babysitting by Candybree reviews
Ianto agrees to babysit for his sister and has to call in the reinforcements. Rated to be safe just in case.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,697 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Jack and Ianto's Summer Vacation by dragonwrangler reviews
Things don’t always go as planned. Poor Jack. Poor Ianto. Written for the 2007 "Torchwood Summer Vacation" contest at Torchwood 03 on y!galley.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,298 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
HAPPY NEW YEAR by deetatarant reviews
HAPPY NEW YEAR: IANTO AND JACK STYLE: NO NOT THAT! HAVE A WONDERFUL 2009 EVERYBODY.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Complete
Falling by Candybree reviews
Ianto finds Jack after he has fallen off of a building. Janto but nothing more than a couple kisses.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Coming Home From Hell Part 2 by Mc Parrot reviews
When Jack came home from the year that never was his ex partner John murdered him by throwing him off a building. Although he revived from the death his body was too exhausted, too run down and too traumatised to heal completely.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,455 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Loss Of Sensation by Ghostfish reviews
Sequel to Can't You See Them? - Ianto is on the road to recovery, but a freak accident turns the tables on his rescuer, rendering Jack helpless and in need of rescuing himself... J/I and the rest of the team. T for language. x
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,991 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Complete
Jack cooks Dinner by Candybree reviews
Jack cooks dinner for Ianto. Just a bit of fun and fluff.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Move in with me? by Candybree reviews
Ianto asks Jack to move in with him. Could be considered a sequel to Not just in Emergencies, but can be read alone. Rating may be high, but better safe than sorry.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 936 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 34 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Not Just in Emergencies by Candybree reviews
Jack is working late but can't concentrate so he decides to go see Ianto. Ianto gave him a key, but he isn't sure he should use it.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 881 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Nightmares turned to Dreams by PumpkinSparks8616 reviews
Whoever knew that a nightmare could bring on such a chain of events? MerlinxArthur, don't read if you don't like it. Simple enough. Spoilers for episode 11
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,438 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Complete
Coming Home from Hell by Mc Parrot reviews
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang post ep. Jack's been through a hell of a bad time recently. He just wanted to quietly come home but John Hart, his psychopathic ex upsets that idea. It's the homecoming from hell. Major Jack angst.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,601 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 13 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
Sick Days by ShayaSar reviews
This is a two part story in which we have sick!Ianto first and sick!Jack in the second. Of course this is JackxIanto all the way and pure fluff!
Torchwood - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,973 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/31/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
End Of The World Sickness by HuckingHarkness reviews
This story fits in the time frame "Great now we have to avoid ourselves..." It's about how not all things that kill Jack do so immediately & with all Jack's time travelling- what could possibly cause this latest illness?
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,900 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
Look After Yourself by LoveWithoutLimits reviews
The day after the events of "The Poisoned Chalice" and Merlin took Arthurs request to heart a little too much, and he suffers for it, though not all suffering ends bad. Slash MerlinArthur
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,747 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 20 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Complete
A Gentleman's Gentleman by ethelbertina reviews
Jack gets a surprise visit while away at a U.N.I.T. conference. Jack/Ianto established relationship. Here's the ninth and final chapter...
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,910 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 9/29/2008 - Published: 7/10/2008 - Complete
FIRST DAY BACK AGAIN by cjh4ever reviews
The events of Jack's first day back. Mainly Jack/Ianto with some Jack/Tosh. Starts immediately after the end of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,537 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Complete
Hey Kids Did You Miss Me? by ilovejackharkness reviews
Jack's return from the Valiant back to his team. He's not dealing so well with what happened on board the Valiant, and after the events of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang he breaks down when he's alone. But when Ianto comes to check on him what will happen? Will Jack
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,476 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/6/2008 - Published: 8/23/2008
Save the Last Dance for Me by ilovejackharkness reviews
Set right after Something Borrowed before Jack returns to the Hub. Jack and Ianto share a dance. Pure Janto fluff, tiny bit of angst. Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen, Gwen/Rhys
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,179 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Complete
Adrift by ilovejackharkness reviews
Set during and after the events of Adrift. Ianto comforts Jack. Something I came up with because I never liked that Ianto went behind Jack's back to give Gwen the tracker to Flat Holm. And I also got an idea from the Captain's Blog.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,600 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Complete
Third time's the charm by Aqua Mage reviews
Dying really takes it out of a man. Doing it three times in two days even takes it out of Jack.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,557 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Complete
Just Breathe by mavjade reviews
Jack has a moment of panic after all that has happened. Jack/Ianto. Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Spoilers for 2x13 Exit Wounds!
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Consequences by SunnyRea reviews
Ianto keeps a lot of secrets and this is just one more secret he keeps from Gwen, but this secret isn't so much about Torchwood, it's about Jack. When horrible things happen to a person they leave lasting effects. *spoilers for ALL of season 2*
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,846 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/13/2008 - Complete
Before You Know It by Yum reviews
In all honesty, he should have been expecting it. He was there when boys, not yet men, suffered what was first called shell-shock, then combat fatigue, to the neatly packaged politically correct acronym. Spoilers from DW's Utopia and TLOTTL.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,747 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 62 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
Domestic Banter by Erin Giles reviews
“I don’t think even I can domesticate Jack.” Shameless sick!Ianto, Jack/Ianto fluff.
Torchwood - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,355 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/6/2008 - Complete
Not as planned by thesilversun reviews
Jack and Ianto's vacation goes decidedly wrong. JackIanto. Crossover with Doctor Who.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,617 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 14 - Published: 11/12/2007 - Complete
Take My Pieces and Build Them Up by Erin Giles reviews
A series of drabbles in which Ianto get’s sick and Jack takes it upon himself to look after him. Post Cyberwoman.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,128 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/4/2007 - Complete
Acceptance by Aqua Mage reviews
Jack is sick, and missing the Doctor. Will his team realise that the one who always cares for them needs some caring himself? No real ship, though I suppose you could read in a tiny bit of JackIanto. Set any time before the finale of season 1. Oneshot.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,235 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/14/2007 - Complete
Just a Random Tuesday… by Twisted Biscuit reviews
A VERY long Tuesday in the life of Minerva McGonagall. With rampant Umbridgeitis, uncooperative Slytherins, Ministry interventions, an absent Dumbledore and a schoolwide shortage of Hot Cocoa, it’s a wonder she’s as nice as she is.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 58,525 - Reviews: 445 - Favs: 1,832 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 10/1/2006 - Published: 8/26/2006 - Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete