Proud Member of the Twin Exchange.
Messers Fred and George Weasley.

An author in her mid-twenties, I write a little and read a lot. Mostly found on AO3 under the same username, this profile holds most of my older works. Currently a doctor of physical therapy by day, and engaged to a vodka soda and book at night.

The Forgetful Reincarnation (in progress): After the final battle, Merlin gathered his friends and allies who had helped achieve destiny and cast a spell to bring them all back someday to finish it. A thousand years later, the reincarnations are born again, but things did not turn out as planned. The memories returned, but a few can't remember. They must recall the past in order to face the newest threat before time runs out. HIATUS (currently rewriting, will start publishing in late 2022)

Truly stupid things found on other things.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

HARRY POTTER QUOTES:

"If you think I'm going to let six people risk their lives—"
"—because it's the first time for all of us."
"This is different, pretending to be me—"
"Well, none of us really it Harry. Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever."
"You can't do it if I don't co-operate, you need me to give you some hair."
"Well, that's the plan scuppered. Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.
"Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance."
- Harry, Ron, Fred, and George

Don't play."
"Say you're ill."
"Pretend to break your leg."
"Really break your leg."
- Hermione and Ron

"Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled."
"She needs to sort out her priorities."
- Hermione and Ron, "The Philosopher's Stone"

"You're a little scary sometimes, you know that. Brilliant. But scary."
- Ron, paying Hermione a compliment of sorts, "The Philosopher's Stone"

"What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows."
- Professor Albus Dumbledore, to Harry, "The Philosopher's Stone"

"What's with the flower? Hagrid... did you comb your hair?"
"You might want to try the same thing yourself now and again."
- Harry and Hagrid, "The Goblet of Fire"

"Do you think we'll ever have a quiet year at Hogwarts?"
"No."
"Oh well, what's life without a few dragons?"
- Ron and Hermione, "The Goblet of Fire"

"Ron, you seem to have died twice," Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"I don't want to stay here overnight," said Harry angrily, sitting up and throwing back his covers. I want to find McLaggen and kill him."
"I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'overexertion,'" said Madam Pomfrey. :Harry and Pomfrey

"Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron's got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.": Ginny. HBP.

Where’s the fun without a bit of risk?” – Fred Weasley,

Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."Fred and George

Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, "Harry. How nice to see you."
"Hello, Percy," said Harry, trying not to laugh.
"I hope you're well?" said Percy pompusly, shaking hands. It was like being introduced to the mayor.
"Very well, thanks-"
"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-"
"Marvelous,"said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in return. "Absolutely spiffing."
Parcy scowled.Percy, Harry, Fred, and George.

"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent. Fred Weasley

Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help, it's obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight."

"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself."

"I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."George

"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?"
"Throw it away and punch him in the nose," suggested Ron. Harry and Ron

"Now, you two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet or - "
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."Mrs. Weasley, Fred, and George.

"Why spiders? Why couldn't it be 'Follow the butterflies?'" - Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Malfoy got detention! I could sing." Hermione Granger.

"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."-Harry Potter

"...from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."-Ron Weasley

Hermione drew herself to her full height; her eyes were narrowed and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity.
"No," she said, her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother."-Order of the Phoenix

"So top grade's O for 'Outstanding,'" she [Hermione] was saying, "and then there's A-"
"No, E," George corrected her, "E for 'Exceeds Expectations.' And I've always thought Fred and I should've got E in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."