little girl in a tree
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Joined 03-08-09, id: 1859822, Profile Updated: 03-20-10

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
3. True love knows no boundaries.
4. Some people are just danger magnets.
5. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
6. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
7. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
8. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
9. Family is about more than just blood.
10. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
11. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
12. There are exceptions to every rule.
13. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
14. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
15. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
16. Cold hands = Warm heart.
17. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
18. Romeo was an idiot.
19. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
20. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

If you think this next thing is incredibly cute and sweet, copy and paste it onto your profile.

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Now isn;t that the cutest thing you've ever read! So like Bella and Edward

There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL! ( Ha Ha Kendall! )

Elmo knows where you live! ( Ha Ha again Kendall! )

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this !

Tell me thats not funny!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you'll turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Those Real Labels:

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." Are you sure? Lets experiment.

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" And that would be how?

Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." As opposed to outer space.

Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Now I'm curious.

Check this out...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy

On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris

I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy I always have

I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would

Pass this around

I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground

If you pass this on

Maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart

For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream,

But its now much too late.

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain,

Again and again,

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops,

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless,

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP.

You know you live in the year 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter you password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

5.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

6.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 7.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 7.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Fun Things To Do On An Elevator. (:

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

America's Intelligence:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Month one

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in God's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile.

(i dont know if im against abortion but i think that if you CAN care for a baby then you shouldnt get an abortion)

Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree.The

boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.

You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL-I say George Strait
You say KEVIN JONAS -I say Kenny Chesney
You say SNOOP DOG- Brad Paisley
You say BRITNEY SPEARS- I say Brooks & Dunn
You say SOULJA BOY- John Rich
You say RAP- I say Country!
you say POP- I say Yee Haw.!
92 of teens have turned to pop and rap,
if your one the 8 who like listening to country then peace copy and paste to your profile

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives.

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say somethi ng nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having a terrible dream about your friend dying, you avenge their death, then wake up relize your friend is still alive and give them a big hug the next day.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

How to Tell if You're a Writer:

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101.

Way to know you are obsessed with Twilght!

You start eating ‘Bella’s’ food.

When your maths teacher says your gonna lear trig you look at your friend and say ‘TRIG’

Ditto Biology

You have twilightous, a disease that makes you addictied to twilight

When you go to the doctor’s you tell your mom that you want a different doctor. When she asks why you say ‘Cos’ his name’s not Carlisle, he doesn’t have a wife called esme, or adopt any children and he’s NOT A VAMPIRE’

When you watch hospital programs and someone is dying you scream ‘CARLISLE SAVE THEM!’

You have the whole official twilight soundtrack on your iPod/ MP3

You have read loads of these lists

And reviewed them

And realized that they were pretty much all true

Twilight has bought you and your best friend so much closer

You growl a lot more

And have learnt how to pounce

You insult your brother/ sister by saying there a werewolf/vampire (depending on what you are)

And by saying they smell like werewolf/ vampire

You insult your friend by saying she’s a dog

And she growls at you

You hate the fact that you have to wait a year for New Moon

But in a way don’t want to see it

Cos’ your gonna cry SOOOO much

When you told your friend she laughed at you

Cos’ she’s team Jacob and said it was her movie

You have pictures of the twilight boys around your room

When you did a geography project you wanted Kellan Lutz to be your sponser

But your stupid friends said no =(

You go on fanfiction like everydoor to see if the twilight story’s you have subscribed to have any updates

And get sad when they don’t

You looked for Wuthering Heights in you library

And got sad when they didn’t have it

But are now happy cos’ you found it today =)

When you saw the film ‘The Lost Boys’ you kept saying ‘Keh soo stereotypical!’

You were so happy when they announced that they were gonna keep Taylor Lautner as Jacob

In fact you screamed

You can relate ANYTHING to twilight

Whenever you see/find glitter you pour it over yourself

And everyone else

When you were in history and saw a husky on a video you and your friend went ‘IT’S JACOB!’

When someone says vampires and werewolves aren’t real, you shout at them and give them a lecture

You leave your window open for Edward at night

If you ever get a dog you know your gonna call it Jacob, Quil, Embry, Seth etc…

You search EVERYWHERE for silver Volvo’s or any of the other cars in twilight

And told your dad you want a yellow Porsche for your 18th birthday

And he laughed at you

And you sulked for days

You want to buy contacts in the colour of; butterscotch or red

Apple’s are now your favorite fruit

And whenever you have one you hold it the twilight way

On your bebo, facebook or whatever you put your location as Forks

Or Isle Esme

Or La Push

You and your friend want to go to twilight college

And if one doesn’t exist…well it should

And if you did got there you would totally get A in like EVERY area

You wrote on you science work Lauren Ashley Cullen (or your name lol)

When you watched P.S. I love you, you screamed at the women cos’ one of her job options was vampire slayer

You think van helsing is Gay!

And he obviously never met Edward Cullen

You got jealous of your friends mom because she read twilight but your mom refuses.

Cos she knows how obsessed you are

And reefer’s to twilight as ‘That vampire thing’

When your in the car and your parent’s are driving you say ‘Why are we going so slow’

And they look at you weirdly cos’ there going at 70MPH

You think they could have cast bella better

By picking you!

You have random conversations by yourself with the twilight characters

And have to admit that they do give a good conversation

And when you tell your mom she laughs at you

Ditto with the rest of your family

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT EDWARD CULLEN

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going, "We fucked up, huh?"

Keep staring I might do a trick.

All things considered, insanity be the only reasonable alternative.'s

-Let flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time.

-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.

-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.

-I'm not short I'm fun sized.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.

-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.

I am for Team Edward... Jacob doesn't SPARKLE!

You know you're obsessed with Twilight if... You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward! You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire. You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them. You've read Twilight and New Moon at least 5 times each! You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news. You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight or New Moon. You give your teachers Twilight and/or New Moon for Christmas. When you see a box labeled "Forks" at a restaurant you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there. Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you. You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up. You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward does. You watch the show Moonlight and imagine Beth as Bella and Mick as Edward. Now it's me writing again and I'm sorry about the whole thing that there isnt much thats really me in my profile but it's been a long day and my first profile I had I forgot to save.

Funny Stuff:

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap someone upside the head

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

if you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories copy and paste this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

Music is love in search of word.Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

My heart is not a playground

Did you just call me a ? Because a is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.I hate it when people say:

"When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice.

"It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it.

"Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life.

"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?

"Lol(all the time)" If you laugh out loud that much, then you have issues.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever known you were in mortal danger but decided to go through with the stunt anyway, copy this into your profile

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile

-If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

-If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

-If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I screamed and threw a fit, haha. i also cursed Edward)

-If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

-If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever tripped over air, copy and past this into your profile.

-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

-If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

-If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

-If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

-If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

-Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.

-If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile

IF YOU HAVE SLEPT FOR ALMOST A WHOLE DAY PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

IF YOU HAVE NEVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile (that's what siblings are for, lol)

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to werewolves and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you like Evanescence, paste this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If music is your life, paste this in your profile.

If you love romance stories, paste this in your profile.

If you're a hopeless romantic, paste this in your profile.

If you have ever drank wine, paste this in your profile.

if you've tripped underwater or while swimming, paste this on your profile.

if you think that Drugs are bad news. Copy this into your profile.

if you think thatToo many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

if you think that Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings when you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you are crazied and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. _

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you have ever been so bored you literally cried copy and paste this into your profile.

if you think that There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you think that those Godforsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile. (solarwinds: Ugh, tell me about it -_-)

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you've ever busted a movie or burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

i'f you've ever started watching a movie but turned it off part way, copy and paste this on your profile

~ ~ Star Signs ~ ~

AQUARIUS- The Sweetheart (Jan 20-Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but can be original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19-Mar 20) Generous, kind and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secrative and vague. Sensitive. Doesn't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Symathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES- The Daredevil (Mar 21- Apr 19) Energetic. Advernturous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse (easily angered). Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS- The Enduring One (Apr 20-May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their own way. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to furious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI- The Chatterbox (May 21-June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptible but needs to express themselves. Arguementive and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial and inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.

CANCER- The Protector (June 21-July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from everyone. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

LEO- The Boss (July 23-Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Likes to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to the Leo's. Attractive.

VIRGO- The Perfectionist Dominant (Aug 23-Sept 22) In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Arguementive. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hard working. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA- The Harmonizer (Sept 23-Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

SCORPIO- The Intense One (Oct 23-Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hard working. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secrative. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.

SAGITTARIUS- The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22-Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up. Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsiblities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

CAPRICORN- The Go-Getter (Dec 22-Jan19) Patient and wise. Practiacl and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competitions. Get what they want.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType reviews
Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the treehouse out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH A/U
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 111,365 - Reviews: 21472 - Favs: 11,891 - Follows: 7,829 - Updated: 7/1 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
After Hours by Edward's Eternal reviews
A late, anxious patient. A compassionate nurse. What happens when comfort becomes something else?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 76,219 - Reviews: 5016 - Favs: 1,937 - Follows: 2,009 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 1/9 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Steady On by Edward's Eternal reviews
The first day I saw her on the bus, was the day I lost my heart. Today, I planned on letting her know she was the one who had captured it. 1st place Public Vote and 5th place Judge's entry in the Straight thru the Heart Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,117 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 678 - Published: 3/8 - Bella, Edward
Oh Brother by Kim Ginsberg reviews
Sequel to Oh Captain, My Captain. Emmett, Jasper and Edward have been in the Army for the last 9 years together. Bella is Em's little sister. One package to Em changes everything. AH. HEA
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 916 - Favs: 996 - Follows: 1,041 - Updated: 2/8 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Pie Equation by TheQueenWriter reviews
Don't allow your past to dictate your future. Edward is a single dad. Bella comes home to help her dad after an accident. Will Edward allow their old friendship to blossom?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 53,821 - Reviews: 2006 - Favs: 1,599 - Follows: 2,044 - Updated: 12/17/2015 - Published: 6/1/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
To Destroy by walkingwithgiants reviews
In the words of Abe Lincoln, "The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend." Bella works for a man that makes her teeth grind. "My boss is an asshole," she cried.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 52 - Words: 106,494 - Reviews: 4816 - Favs: 3,184 - Follows: 4,655 - Updated: 9/29/2015 - Published: 10/25/2011 - Bella, Edward
The Classic Story by ummmm26 reviews
COMPLETE! Bella's a college English professor. Edward's a doctor. They have awesome friends and when they meet, life just gets a whole lot better...eventually!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 42,367 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 9/24/2015 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Plowed by GeekChic12 reviews
On a dreary Monday morning, he plowed right in to her life. Will she see him for who he is and let him in? ExB, AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 50,000 - Reviews: 2237 - Favs: 1,551 - Follows: 1,676 - Updated: 7/15/2015 - Published: 2/25/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Wounded Soldier by counselor reviews
1866 Edward just home from the war. Neighbor Bella has a tragedy and Edward delivers her baby. Seeing as she's widowed, marriage makes sense. He doesn't feel worthy, but he can't step aside for her suitors. Competition amongst veterans.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,739 - Reviews: 5468 - Favs: 1,921 - Follows: 1,344 - Updated: 3/19/2015 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
His Kingdom by jasmineb93 reviews
What happens when successful tycoon, multi billionaire and stone heart Cullen is forced to soften up to an unwelcome tenant of his heart?What happens when the witty boy clashes with the saucy irresistible girl?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,889 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 2/21/2015 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Edward, Bella
A Crack in the Door by jane-with-a-y reviews
A lonely bartender on Cape Cod and a mysterious girl next door. Who is this girl, and why does she cry every night? More importantly, why does he care? Together they form a tentative friendship through a crack between their doors. Will the crack open wide enough to let love in? A story of intimacy, healing and hope.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 119,934 - Reviews: 1278 - Favs: 1,037 - Follows: 958 - Updated: 1/5/2015 - Published: 1/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Designated Hitter by esmegrace reviews
Orthopedic surgeon Bella Swan encounters the last person she ever expected to see again on Valentine's Day no less. Can she remain professional with Major League pitcher Edward Masen given their pasts?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 136,641 - Reviews: 2377 - Favs: 1,792 - Follows: 1,875 - Updated: 12/24/2014 - Published: 7/13/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Education of Professor Cullen by sheviking reviews
College professor Edward Cullen is thoroughly annoyed by his student Ms. Swan. Everything about her bothers him, and he longs for the semester to be over. But what happens when he meets her one night when they aren't in school?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 10723 - Favs: 9,287 - Follows: 7,012 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Lottery of Life by IBACULLEN reviews
Bella has been blessed with the finer things in life. She has always been focused on what she has and never understanding that money doesn't buy you everything. It will take one stupid bet and a homeless man to teach her what really is important in life. Can Edward get through to snobby Bella Swan and show her what she has been missing? AH HEA Mature.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 121,138 - Reviews: 1357 - Favs: 977 - Follows: 872 - Updated: 10/1/2014 - Published: 5/9/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
True Confessions of a Coffee Girl by Deebelle1 reviews
A perfect cafe au lait was all it took for Hollywood's most eligible bachelor to fall in love with me...the coffee girl.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 94,787 - Reviews: 3385 - Favs: 2,330 - Follows: 2,129 - Updated: 9/4/2014 - Published: 11/1/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Rest My Soul by MrsSpaceCowboy reviews
On opposite corners of Third Street and Beale, two lonely people fight to stay that way. Her scars are on the surface, soft on her skin and in her eyes. His run bone-deep, seeped in bourbon and blues. EPOV. *Complete*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 111,128 - Reviews: 2896 - Favs: 1,787 - Follows: 1,986 - Updated: 8/25/2014 - Published: 10/22/2013 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Restoration by Elise de Sallier reviews
Resigned to her lonely fate, Bella risks her life to rescue a man left for dead by enemy soldiers. Edward turns out to be a little more than she bargained for, his presence awakening dangerous desires and inspiring dreams that could change her life—and the course of a Kingdom—forever. A Cinderbella tale.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 93,647 - Reviews: 2471 - Favs: 1,972 - Follows: 1,943 - Updated: 8/7/2014 - Published: 12/18/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fourth Floor by Wonkyward Contest reviews
Twenty-five-year-old Bella gets far more than she bargained for after a visit to the fourth floor of her company's office. Can Edward show her that appearances can be deceiving?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,162 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 95 - Published: 7/29/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Snapshots by Hoodfabulous reviews
When I stumbled and fell on the playground, he raced by, laughing at my embarrassment and kicking up dust with his Nikes. When I struggled with our high school curriculum, he breezed through each class without so much as cracking open a book. When I was down on my luck, he was always there to laugh at me. A birthday one-shot for Rumner Nikkiee.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,952 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 156 - Published: 7/5/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Reason For Living by RobzBeanie reviews
**COMPLETE ** A man who just wants to live and a woman who forgot how to live. Can they be what the other needs to survive? Recluse Bella gets a surprise when she answers her door. Rated C for Cheekyward. AH, Tattward ** #5 IN THE LEMONADE STAND FIC OF THE WEEK POLL, WEEK OF 9/24-9/30 ** #5 in Top Ten Completed Fics for Jul 2013 on TwiFanfictionRecs **
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 162,579 - Reviews: 3082 - Favs: 2,367 - Follows: 1,544 - Updated: 2/26/2014 - Published: 2/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Melt With You by Jenny0719 reviews
It's her last Olympics and nothing matters to Isabella Swan except one thing: A final gold medal. Until she meets long time admirer and snowboarder, Edward Cullen. Suddenly, she finds that her win isn't important without someone to celebrate it with. GOING FOR THE GOLD CONTEST WINNER. 1st place judge's vote. 2nd place public vote.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 26,729 - Reviews: 432 - Favs: 1,295 - Follows: 531 - Updated: 1/27/2014 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mismatched Love by weeandjess reviews
Zany Bella is the maid of honor of her sister's wedding. She has to deal with Charlie, her soon to be brother in law and his uptight rich family who don't like her. To top it all off, Charlie's brother Edward is back and they seemed to be pushed together in everything they do. They are a mismatched pair that can't seem to tell each other how they feel. Happy birthday KASI
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 69,684 - Reviews: 704 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 554 - Updated: 1/21/2014 - Published: 11/13/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
At the End of the Day by Edward's Eternal reviews
It's been a bad day for Bella. Drunk and confused, the last thing she needs is for her key not to work. When she finds out why, will her day get better?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,247 - Reviews: 766 - Favs: 1,680 - Follows: 1,177 - Updated: 12/16/2013 - Published: 4/8/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
When Day Ends and Night Begins by PuppetStrings19 reviews
Bella & Edward were childhood friends before her mother took her away from Charlie right after their divorce. This story takes place when Bella moves back to Forks, is a new student at Forks High School and see's Edward for the first time in over 10 years. There will be some teen angst, sex, drugs and alcohol abuse. And there will be some lemons in the future. AH/OOC. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 257,951 - Reviews: 1019 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 776 - Updated: 10/13/2013 - Published: 7/8/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Miserable At Best by SimplyDazzling reviews
Bella moves to Forks for her senior year. Edward Cullen proves himself as less than desirable from day one. But as Bella begins to see past the drugs, the mood swings, she finds the shadow of boy who had lost everything, including himself. AH/OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 185,314 - Reviews: 1819 - Favs: 1,350 - Follows: 1,130 - Updated: 10/7/2013 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bold Gestures by SexyLexiCullen reviews
"Young women can act silly, but men... Men make bold gestures." I opened the trunk for Bella. The man inside ended up on the pavement. Bella's eyes widened, and she covered her mouth. GangsterWard. *1958.*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 123,233 - Reviews: 2251 - Favs: 1,394 - Follows: 930 - Updated: 9/30/2013 - Published: 9/16/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Perfect Match by HappyMess reviews
Bella Swan never considered online dating. After all, she was only twenty-one. But after too many glasses of wine, her best friend convinces her otherwise. AH. Olderward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 63,180 - Reviews: 4020 - Favs: 2,891 - Follows: 2,928 - Updated: 9/21/2013 - Published: 2/24/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Piano Man by kitchmill reviews
For three years, Bella has lusted after one of her clients, the beautiful, introverted pianist, Edward Masen. When a corporate error forces them together for the night, will Edward be able to offer her what she's really looking for in a man? A contest entry for the Dirty Talkin' Edward contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,874 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 554 - Follows: 227 - Published: 8/29/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Reel Life by SpecialK199 reviews
Used to feeling lonely in a crowded room, Edward Cullen is on another press junket for his latest film when a certain journalist breaks through the tedium. Half an hour later, she's gone - or so he thinks. Rated M for later chapters of the citrus variey
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 121,874 - Reviews: 1942 - Favs: 2,911 - Follows: 1,048 - Updated: 8/29/2013 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
A Phoenix Rising by BellaRosa17 reviews
She left the Windy City for Ipswich to start a new life. But when you have the affections of two hot guys to choose from, who do you choose? Summary inside. Please R&R.
Covenant - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 43,690 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/27/2013 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Reid G. - Complete
Superheroes and Second Chances by kr2009 reviews
Written with anhanninen. Edward moved across the country, leaving behind his high school sweetheart and all the memories they'd made. As times get tough on the east coast, he decides to move back home to Forks with his three year old son for a fresh start. He never realized exactly what he left behind and how it could be his perfect future.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,238 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 658 - Follows: 579 - Published: 4/16/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
First & Ten by Nolebucgrl reviews
Bella Swan is an aspiring sports writer and her first big assignment is to interview the league's biggest, not to mention hottest, quarterback. Will Edward Cullen school her in the rules of the game or will she teach him a thing or two? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 55 - Words: 375,555 - Reviews: 15034 - Favs: 9,827 - Follows: 5,426 - Updated: 3/30/2013 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Storm Clouds and Silver Linings: The Complete Story by Deebelle1 reviews
*Extended Fic this GIF Entry* Izzy's a successful woman in her own right. She's also a Hollywood heiress whose life gets flipped upside down as a result of an unfortunate event. Tired of the paparazzi, she flees from the limelight in search of who she is on her own. Sometimes you have to leave the world of make believe behind to find a snowmobiling prince you never knew you needed.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 85,018 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 500 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 3/15/2013 - Published: 11/30/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Inside Man by ooza reviews
With his parole fast approaching, inmate Edward Masen is looking for a friend. College student Bella Swan stumbles across his profile on a prison pen-pal website. Their friendship is formed over written words, but will it last once he rejoins her world?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 89,972 - Reviews: 12659 - Favs: 6,480 - Follows: 6,019 - Updated: 2/23/2013 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Love I Left Behind by Batman4eva reviews
Eclipse never happened,Bella finds out that she is pregnant with Edward’s child and leaves because she is scared that he will get angry or want believe her.16 years later she has twins and a new coven.What happens when they meet a certain group at school?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 22,048 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 2/20/2013 - Published: 4/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dominate Me by I wanna be Jacob's imprint reviews
Edward and Bella married but he couldn't give her what she needed...only one person could...the one she didn't choose. But, if she came back, would he make her beg, spank her, or both?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,470 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 2/4/2013 - Published: 4/19/2011 - Jacob, Bella
The Search by Amber1983 reviews
When Bella Swan flees to London to escape her painful and humiliating past her new life is knocked off its axis by her charismatic and ambitious boss, Edward Cullen. Can Ed unravel Bella's secrets and get what he wants without revealing his own demons...and his heart? AH. Britishward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 182,812 - Reviews: 3437 - Favs: 3,044 - Follows: 2,454 - Updated: 1/21/2013 - Published: 9/2/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Breakers by les16 reviews
After spending 7 years in prison, Edward gets a new start in the fishing village of Corea, Maine. Can a little girl and her mom, Bella, see beyond his past and can they all find love again...or will the ocean swallow them whole?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 324,923 - Reviews: 7504 - Favs: 4,606 - Follows: 2,973 - Updated: 1/1/2013 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hit By Destiny by ocdmess reviews
Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. All Human, Rated M for language, dark themes & violence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 59 - Words: 463,685 - Reviews: 20237 - Favs: 12,107 - Follows: 7,004 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Worth Waiting For by hisgirlinterrupted reviews
The boutique has been closed for 45 minutes and Bella is still waiting to be picked up, something that's become a pattern she's getting tired of. Will an unexpected knock at the door make her stop waiting?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,645 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/31/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Collision Through Reed Girl's Eyes by Nolebucgrl reviews
Sideline Collision through Bella's eyes, before she met Edward up through chapter one of Sideline.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,801 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 326 - Published: 10/14/2012 - Bella, Edward
Howling by Undead Lemon reviews
AU. Lemon. She was his boss and he's just about had enough with her. "My name is Edward." He told her sharply but then his face transformed and he practically leered. "But you can call me, Master." All Human. One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,057 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sincerely, Sergeant Masen by 2carm2carm2 reviews
One bored night, Bella goes online and stumbles across an American's soldier's profile. On a whim she decides to write Sergeant Masen a letter. She never thought she would get a response back from Iraq, much less fall in love with a man in combat boots.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 49 - Words: 204,935 - Reviews: 7404 - Favs: 6,122 - Follows: 4,211 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Story Hour by Taste of the Forbidden Contest reviews
Librarian Isabella Swan adores the classics. She reads them daily to the kids in the Children's section, and they listen to her every word. All the while, a mysterious stranger watches her from nearby. Can fiction become reality and make all of Isabella's wildest dreams come true?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,712 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 67 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fifty Shades of Grey:The Ladies of the BAU Version by Theloraxofwhoville reviews
At the BAU, Rossi is the known disciplinarian of the women. He is in charge of their training, their behavior, and their spankings. Rossi takes his level of dominance over their submission to the next level with Garcia and J.J. WARNING: CONTAINS SPANKINGS/CORPORAL PUNISHMENT DOMINANCE/SUBMISSION Storyline
Crossover - Criminal Minds & Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,395 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/17/2012 - D. Rossi - Complete
A Raging Inferno by walkingwithgiants reviews
Companion to "A Smokeless Fire" one-shot. As a kid, Bella Swan had idolized Edward Cullen, the soccer superstar. As an adult... things changed. One-shot. Read ASF first.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,446 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 87 - Published: 8/16/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Soldier Boy and Naughty Bells One Shot by Discordia81 reviews
Bella and Edward have been best friends for years, but when Edward joins the military, things start to shift between them. A virgin soldier, a more experienced Bella, and a realization that maybe they were meant to be more than just friends. Winner of the 2nd Place Judges Choice and Public Vote in the Show Me Your Patriotism Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,962 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 76 - Published: 8/16/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Smokeless Fire by walkingwithgiants reviews
He retired without achieving all but two of his goals. When Edward Cullen is offered the chance of a lifetime, he takes it. Except the World Cup wasn't the only thing he wanted after all. One-shot for Fandoms4SpecialOlympics.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,305 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 143 - Published: 7/31/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
An Angry Man by katinki reviews
COMPLETE. Edward is a bitter, angry man, a man suffering the sins of his past. An emotional & physical recluse, he pushes everyone away. That is, until Bella, a mysterious woman with her own demons, moves in and forces him to face himself. AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 223,286 - Reviews: 7807 - Favs: 3,416 - Follows: 2,489 - Updated: 7/24/2012 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Living Life by branson101 reviews
Edward Cullen is a smart, arrogant, jerk who is just waiting to graduate so he can leave Forks behind for good. Bella Swan is the troubled new girl with a secret and demons that haunt her. M for language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 102 - Words: 159,631 - Reviews: 1162 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 6/7/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
This is My Wish by ericastwilight reviews
Dear Wishes for You, My name is Riley Biers and I'm nine years old. Soon, very soon I'll leave behind my mom because I have terminal cancer. I write to you today and this is my wish... Rated M for language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 37 - Words: 119,652 - Reviews: 4901 - Favs: 3,382 - Follows: 2,196 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Watching Her by les16 reviews
She's his Drummer Girl. She plays. She dances. She's got secrets. He watches her. If he comes out of the woods will she let him in or close the doors forever? Daily Updates. AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 109,595 - Reviews: 4634 - Favs: 1,487 - Follows: 1,073 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 3/25/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Masen Days by purelyamuse reviews
Bella meets Masen at the local skate park. He's a quiet, mysterious loner. She wants to help him, love him even. Will he let her? Or will he skate away like he always does? AH. 3rd Place Winner in the Boys on Boards contest! Now an EXPANDED multi-chap!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 66,922 - Reviews: 2886 - Favs: 2,538 - Follows: 1,633 - Updated: 5/18/2012 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Snape's EveryWoman by DaughterOfTheBrownCoats reviews
His wife, his love, his slave, his pet. Sex toys and BDSM, love and laughter abound! Not for RW/HG shippers, not for those persons who do not enjoy light bondage/abuse. Come to enjoy and have fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,690 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 2/27/2012 - Published: 10/24/2011 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Creator continued & rewritten as a separate story by Kay-Gemini reviews
Bella is the creator of vampires and werewolves & she herself is a cross breed between each of them. She was the first mythical creature to walk on the earth. What happens when she moves to Forks and meets Edward? ExB Rewriting as new story!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 18,726 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Love Goes On by dolphinherovamp5 reviews
Sequel to Stay Strong! It's been 4 years since they all left for college. All haven't seen Edward since. Now they're back in Forks, with possibly more drama than before. What happens when some of Bella's unknown past comes into the picture? AH/Complete
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 8,351 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 6/8/2011 - Published: 2/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stay Strong by dolphinherovamp5 reviews
Bella Swan has moved to Forks with her twin sister Julie . She soon falls for the star basketball player and will find out that one decision can lead to many unexcepted events. AH Better summary in story. Complete! Sequel is now out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,367 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 6/8/2011 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Secrets & Consequences by EdwardGetsFicd Contest reviews
After getting caught disobeying her Master, Bella must suffer the consequences of her actions. Rated M for adult content and BDSM material.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,100 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Complete
His Lesson by Lemon Frosted Birthday Contest reviews
Edward is getting his first lesson in submission. Pure Smut. Entry for the Lemon Frosted Birthday Contest from rbsschess
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,021 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Screwed by ShqipeNela reviews
I'm Screwed. I'm in love with my best friend. Best friend loves another girl. Love can kiss my ass.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,239 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Red by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
Bella hated Edward, and Edward hated Bella. Or so she thought. Forced to work with him for the money, there's no escaping his anger, his resentment, and... his love. AH/AU EDITING IN PROGRESS: CHAPTER 1-4 DONE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,721 - Reviews: 3728 - Favs: 1,904 - Follows: 1,078 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence reviews
Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she'll write her own story. Collab with astilbe13 AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 136,587 - Reviews: 10236 - Favs: 6,374 - Follows: 3,704 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Obsess by BananaFannaFo reviews
"But I was trapped. Trapped to a man I no longer knew. A man that had become a monster just a few short months after reciting my vows, tying myself to him forever... And in love with a man that couldn't save me from this hell."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 66,734 - Reviews: 410 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
To Be Loved by xNimCee reviews
She wanted to be loved. He never wanted to love again. She found it in all the wrong places, and he had to bring her back. A story about an American hopeless romantic and an English bad boy trying to move on from his dark past. AH, very OOC, High School
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 432,364 - Reviews: 3270 - Favs: 2,415 - Follows: 1,211 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I Hate You, Kiss Me by BittenBee reviews
Bella has given up on dating, but she has a one-night stand with a mystery man named Edward. Both are surprised when he gets a job at her law firm! Coworkers Alice and Jasper, best bud Emmett, and sultry boss Rosalie play a role in Bella's love life. Humor, UST. Rated M. Nominated twice for The Lemonade Stand Fic of the Week.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 198,228 - Reviews: 3090 - Favs: 4,666 - Follows: 2,771 - Updated: 9/9/2010 - Published: 1/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ginny Potter, Slave by kinklover21 reviews
This is the story of Ginny as a slave... Warning: Extreme BDSM and Torture scenes throughout the story...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,727 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Ginny W., Narcissa M.
The Runaways by SimplyDazzling reviews
"What if your actions end up ruining someone's life? How do you pay for what you've done?" Events in the past have caused Edward to be broken. Bringing Bella into his dark life wasn't something he wanted to do, and yet, somehow was unavoidable. A/H
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 197,821 - Reviews: 884 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 10/30/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
For the Summer by camoozle reviews
Every year Bella waits for the 'Pay Checks' to roll into her sleepy river town and every year Edward's hers, just for the summer. AH, AU, OOC, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 176,780 - Reviews: 8886 - Favs: 7,682 - Follows: 3,936 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Volition by Rochelle Allison reviews
It's Belfast, N.Ireland and the year is 1972. Bella's worried about her brother and his best friend, Edward, and their dangerous involvement in the Irish Republican Army. Is it really wise to fall in love with a rebel? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 150,667 - Reviews: 4773 - Favs: 4,167 - Follows: 1,532 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Oh My My My by HarryPotterLover2422 reviews
Bella and the gang are friends growing up but then Bella is forced to leave. When events unfold Bella goes back to Forks and then tragedy strikes not once but three times in the same family. How will these friends survive? AH. Canon couples. Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 46 - Words: 110,896 - Reviews: 514 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stealing Home by Nolebucgrl reviews
Edward Cullen is hot shot baseball player in a bit of a slump. Bella Swan is the girl that he couldn't have long ago and now she's his new owner and he can't have her again. Will he walk away or swing for the fences?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 20,278 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 919 - Follows: 544 - Updated: 6/22/2010 - Published: 6/7/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Undying Love by TheOneAndOnlyBellaCullen reviews
Bella's friends insist that popular boy Edward Masen likes her, but she doesn't believe. He does everything to get her attention and they eventually go on a date. Bella starts falling in love, but when tragedy strikes, is Bella's life over forever?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,815 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 5/2/2010 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Constant in the Darkness by camoozle reviews
Bella, suffering from an eating disorder, returns to Forks to care for her estranged father. She seeks comfort in Edward, an aspiring chef, who is having difficulty dealing with his own demons. AH, AU, OOC, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 36 - Words: 351,739 - Reviews: 3236 - Favs: 3,036 - Follows: 1,440 - Updated: 4/16/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tides of Fate by SparklingTwilight reviews
After four years in a bad relationship, and two years of depressed seclusion, Alice and Rosalie drag best friend Bella on a tropical vacation designed by fate. AH OOC. B/E, R/Em, A/J. Rated M for future lemony goodness and occasional strong lang.PLS R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 365,101 - Reviews: 4615 - Favs: 5,132 - Follows: 2,083 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 5/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Kidnapped by madcowre reviews
Bella and Edward have grown up hating each other, much to the frustration of their parents. But when they are thrown together in a traumatic event, can they put aside their differences to survive and maybe even fall in love. E/B AU AH Lemons,Lang,Dark Th
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 279,420 - Reviews: 5770 - Favs: 6,759 - Follows: 2,270 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Will See You Again by emmettlover24 reviews
Bella gets kidnapped by the Volturi the night before hers and Edwards wedding. The Volturi changes Bella. They won't let her call or see the Cullens. 107 years later she goes to Forks on a mission and runs into them. Will they recongnize her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 65,617 - Reviews: 790 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 2/25/2010 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Flaming Desire by Mamma4ever reviews
Rose, Alice, and Bella work in the hospital ER. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are firefighters who are brought to the ER one night when the girls are working. Sparks ignite. But will the flame remain when their love is tested? AH OOC Canon pairings
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 149,091 - Reviews: 1497 - Favs: 1,816 - Follows: 678 - Updated: 2/12/2010 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Kidnapped by an Angel by Inlovex reviews
Bella is kidnapped by the dark and dangerous Edward Cullen. No ones captured his heart like she has. With Bella's love from the past coming to haunt her, confusing her love with Edward. Will she keep him? Or will he just let her go?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 31 - Words: 57,005 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 2/8/2010 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
What Hurts the Most with Alternate Ending by beegurl13 reviews
Who meets the love of their life when they're 17 years old? I did, that’s who. Edward Cullen's life is all planned out, what happens when he meets the girl of his dreams? Can things turn out as perfect as he planned? Winner of Broken Fairy Tale Challenge
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 27,580 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Won't you let me walk you home from school by littlesunshinebee reviews
I recognized the tousled dusty bronze head of hair. Edward Cullen. One year above me. I straightened up, looked away and continued my walk home. ONE-SHOT.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,220 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
To Hell With Fate by xloveisacookiex reviews
With Hunters secret now revealed, Bella and the band, E Mc2, are now all vampires. What would happen, if decades later, she were to meet a certain bronzed hair vampire that we all know? Sequel to Musical Closure. Must read Musical Closure first to read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,494 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/1/2010 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Bella
Saving Bella 2 Shadow within the night by Mychayla reviews
It's been two months since Bella's life had anything to do with Charlie and her ugly past. What happens when her past comes back to haunt her, when shadows of something or someone within in the night lurk all around her? Will she survive this time?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,263 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 11/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
American Boy by coldplaywhore reviews
Sequel to American Girl - Edward and Bella are on a road trip through the US with Alice and Jasper, four years after their initial journey to Europe. All Canon Couples. Lemony Goodness Galore.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 201,765 - Reviews: 3893 - Favs: 2,014 - Follows: 1,118 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Imprinted A Seth imprint story by Sarah246 reviews
Seth imprints on the new girl. But something's not right... What dark secrets is she hiding?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 60,867 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Seth - Complete
Sophie Eleanor McEvoy by Bananna18 reviews
In NM, Jake wasn't there. Bella gets an eating disorder. When the Cullens return, how can they help her when they don't eat. ED, Anorexia, Bulimia. LAST CHAPTER: What does it take to say she’s dying. TRANSLATED into spanish by Mommy'sRag Doll, same title.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,488 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/24/2009 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breakfast at Tiffany's by profmom72 reviews
Edward admires Bella from afar, until a chance meeting convinces him to send her messages in the Tiffany's window. Can their two worlds merge beyond the grand gesture? elaboration/continuation of the One Shot. Collaboration with Hmonster4.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 168,557 - Reviews: 1766 - Favs: 2,030 - Follows: 691 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Prove It Then by Hermioneoftherealworld reviews
After Edward left, God seems to send nothing but bad to Bella. She's diferent now. She's 22 and lives in Denali, Alaska. She has made freinds with Tanya and her family too. But what happens when the Cullens pay a visit to Tanya's family? REALLY GOOD! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 29,044 - Reviews: 747 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Second Chances by Kitrino reviews
Edward had more reasons to leave Bella behind this time. After 70 years, he found out that he left something more. How will he and the Cullens deal with it? Canon Pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 33 - Words: 65,091 - Reviews: 462 - Favs: 385 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Left without a soul by alexmonalisa reviews
‘You promised that once you leave it will be like you never exist. Remember?’‘When I said that…’ ‘When you said that I died. Bella died. So stop calling me Bella, she doesn’t exist any more’ Set during/after new moon. Edward/Bella. *TITLE CHANGED*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,296 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Can't Play on Broken Strings by SweetXSacrifice reviews
The Cullens visit the Denali clan for a week. Edward is hesitant to leave Bella, but she’s grounded and convinces him to go and have fun. When they return, Bella is missing. Why didn’t Alice see what happened? Will they find Bella? Mature Themes
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 39 - Words: 42,357 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Becomes Attainable by BrownEyeddGirl reviews
Bella and Edward have been best friends since birth. They've been though everything together, but once one confesses their love, will their friendship be able to handle the transition? Or will the dramas of a relationship be too much? AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 42 - Words: 201,483 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 8/24/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Slave for Love by DreamingAvidly reviews
Bella, a young maid, has a tough life with her abusive master. Her friends are great support... but even she knows she needs saving. Will that Hero arrive on her doorstep?- True love can be found in even the most dire situations, don't you think? COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 57,173 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 484 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 8/19/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sk8ter Boi by vampire-legend reviews
Though reluctant to move, teenage skater, Edward Cullen, finds solace in new friends. How will Edward and Bella's immediate best friend relationship fair when sparks are flying? How will Edward cope without the attention that competition brings him? AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 54,559 - Reviews: 1388 - Favs: 1,182 - Follows: 517 - Updated: 8/17/2009 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Girl Afraid by agoraphobiantic reviews
Edward moves to Forks with his father during his senior year, where he meets Bella Swan. Gorgeous, confident, and non-malicious hater extraordinaire. She hates Edward, and it's anyone's guess why.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 67,698 - Reviews: 597 - Favs: 991 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Don't Let Me Go by bella book worm reviews
Bella is invisible. Until Edward Masen, school player, notices her. But she doesn't know that Edward bet his friends he can get her to sleep with him in 1 month. What happens when Edward falls for her? What happens when she finds out that she was a bet?AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 24,618 - Reviews: 576 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Blackout by MandyLeigh87 reviews
All human, Edward and Bella POV. Edward and Bella live in two different worlds, even though they live next to each other. Things get complicated when Edward, the leather jacket wearing cigarette smoking rebel falls for the girl next door.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 99,410 - Reviews: 1451 - Favs: 1,972 - Follows: 702 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
American Girl by coldplaywhore reviews
Before starting her freshman year of college, Bella decided to backpack through Europe for two months. On her travels, she meets priveledged black sheep Edward Cullen, who takes an instant liking to her & wants to join her on her trip and much more. lemon
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 178,170 - Reviews: 2844 - Favs: 3,348 - Follows: 900 - Updated: 7/25/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cabin Fever by coldplaywhore reviews
Trying to hide from their separate lives in Seattle and Los Angeles, Edward and Bella accidently end up at a cabin together for two weeks leading up to Christmas. They can't stand each other, but will that mutual hate eventually lead to more? EXB Lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 187,413 - Reviews: 3360 - Favs: 3,458 - Follows: 1,176 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sparks by AlexCullen54321 reviews
Bella move’s in with Alice and her parents after both of her parents die in a terrible accident, what will happen when Bella meets Alice’s cousin Edward? Edward is a jerk and they hate each other at first, but will sparks eventually fly? All Human. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 110,862 - Reviews: 875 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Another way to die by dustyrose03 reviews
Bella is nearing 16,the Princess of Italy. Edward is 17,the brother of the Mafia bosses; and Edward has wanted nothing more than to be exactly like them. So when Bella runs away from the life she never wanted, Edward is ordered to kidnap her... AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 41,360 - Reviews: 608 - Favs: 550 - Follows: 227 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Someone Wake Me Up by Dancemydreams reviews
After Bella's tragic 18th birthday party, Edward leaves her for her safety. But, what would have happened if he had left more than an agonizing girl behind? What if, without knowing, he had left his own baby growing inside of her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 63,397 - Reviews: 1924 - Favs: 917 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Runaway by Jasper's Little Sprite reviews
When Bella gets pregnant she runs away, not wanting to stand in way of the Edward's dreams. What will happen when they meet 5 years later? All human! -Being Edited-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 33,519 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New and Improved, my Love by coco786 reviews
First fan fic! Edward leaves for a second time not knowing what he left behind. 50 years later they're all back at a new and improved Forks High. Only the Cullens think she's a descendant of Bella's. Give it a shot! its better than it sounds! ExB!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 35,410 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Love My Best Friend by sarah-jess reviews
Edward loves Bella, but he's the 'best friend.' will he ever get over his insecurities that he feels about telling her how much he loves her? or will he just be the best friend for the rest of his life? cannon pairings, with the exception of BXJ in beg.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,177 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 6/11/2009 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Why is my Life this Hell? by Tori-is-my-alter-ego17 reviews
Bella has been abused by Charlie since she was 4.Her brother and mother are dead.Charlie takes her to the woods to kill her, but Edward saves her. What will happen? rated t-m .*note* she doesn't live in Forks with Charlie he takes her to Forks to kill her
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 34 - Words: 57,963 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Complete
Follow Through by coldplaywhore reviews
Tired of being setup on horrible blind dates, Edward and Bella, share a memorable together. Bella thinks it's just a stupid one night stand, but Edward wants more. Will she be able to resist him when someone from her past shows up? ExB Lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 44 - Words: 148,700 - Reviews: 1789 - Favs: 2,191 - Follows: 661 - Updated: 4/30/2009 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Lucky Charm by profmom72 reviews
Bella and Edward were secret best friends during one of the best periods of Bella's life. Their friendship has waned. When they are forced back together, untold secrets are revealed. When the truth is out there, will anyone feel lucky?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 81,650 - Reviews: 759 - Favs: 921 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Climb by Thomas'svampirexprincess reviews
Sequal to Penpals4life. Edward&Bella struggled to admit the feeling between them. Now they are headed to Forks. What struggles await them? Will they ever truely be together? Read&Review. Rated M for cussing/lemons/darkthemes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,697 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 4/6/2009 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Edward, Bella
Musical Closure by xloveisacookiex reviews
Bella comes out of her funk a month after Edward left with the help of music, vocal and instrumental. She attends a boarding school in Canada for the arts for the remainder of her senior year. But comlications arrive. Vampiric complications. T for lnguage
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,233 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Bella - Complete
penpals4life by Thomas'svampirexprincess reviews
Edward&Bella hate each other. They both have a significant other. What happens when a school project put them as penpals, and they start to slowly fall for each other? When will they realize they are talking to each other? SEQUAL UP
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 69,098 - Reviews: 693 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Bella, Edward
Lizzi by keep austin wierd reviews
SEQUEL TO 'INCONVENIENCE', read it first. As if senior year is easy, Bella and Edward also have to help raise Edward’s sister, Lizzi. Bella, Esme, Edward, and Lizzi will have to grow closer to make it through the year ahead. ON TEMPORARY HAITUS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,948 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
Inconvenience by keep austin wierd reviews
Bella moved from the forests of Forks to the cacti of Phoenix. Not only that, but she has an annoying neighbor. Her neighbor happens to be a quiet Edward Cullen. Will she be able to break down this green-eyed teenager's wall? COMPLETE! SEQUEL!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 41,392 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 2/13/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Never Ordinary by vampiresstar reviews
She was ordinary, so much so that she was invisible. No one saw her. No one knew her. Until, she stepped into center-stage. Then, he had to have her. Reid/OC COMPLETE
Covenant - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 19,538 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 11/19/2008 - Reid G. - Complete
Who We Are by LupsandTnks reviews
Sequel to 'What We Become'. Two years have passed since Bella gave birth to the twins. Things have changed, but things have also stayed the same. Horrors keep coming back to scare Bella, and soon she is afraid to even get close to Edward. What can happen?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,160 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Music of her mind by venomousgal reviews
Edward did not come back to Forks. Laurent bit Bella before the wolves could destroy him. Bella has changed and has been trying to find Edward for two years. She becomes a musician in hopes of someday reaching him through her music.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 26,003 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 572 - Follows: 245 - Updated: 11/4/2008 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mending Me by Fire xx Ice reviews
AH AU Edward does drugs and no one can figure out why. Bella is his best friend, and she may need more saving than he does. Will a misunderstanding leave Edward dangling?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,802 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/3/2008 - Published: 5/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
Husband and Wife, Way of Life by ANNEMARIECULLEN reviews
Sequel to Sugar and Spice, Everything but Nice! Expect lemons. Read and review please.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,920 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 10/9/2008 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Bella, Edward
Sugar and Spice, Everything but Nice by ANNEMARIECULLEN reviews
Badass Edward had the looks, the attitude, the bike, everything, except Bella Swan, the one girl who treated him as if he never existed. Can Edward dazzle her? And change? Summary sucks. ALL HUMAN! Read and review please.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,414 - Reviews: 760 - Favs: 1,064 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 8/26/2008 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
What we Become by LupsandTnks reviews
All human. Edward, the ghost of the school, has seen her from afar, but has never approached. He and Bella have come to an unspoken agreement:don't talk to me and I won't talk to you.Hate. With one night together, Bella becomes pregnant. What will happen?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 36,813 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 492 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 7/9/2008 - Published: 5/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward and Isabella by LupsandTnks reviews
Based in London, Edward's time. Isabella is forced to move to London to marry. Not just anyone: Jacob Black. She'd much rather die than marry Jacob. She meets and falls for Edward. this man's family isn't liked among people. And he's secretly a vampire.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 20,847 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 5/25/2008 - Published: 8/10/2007 - Complete
Damaged by SkyyRyder reviews
COMPLETED x A Spencer student with a disturbing secret is befriended by Spencer bad boy, Reid Garwin. ReidxOC Rated for language, adult scenes, and graphic content.
Covenant - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 131,945 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 10/8/2007 - Published: 6/18/2007 - Reid G. - Complete
Scared by Lon-Dubh reviews
AU. What if Bella's past was different, and she had a secret she had never told anyone before? How would she handle moving to Forks and meeting Edward? Will she have a happily ever after ending, or will her troubled past come back to haunt her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 55,208 - Reviews: 1402 - Favs: 692 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 8/17/2007 - Published: 6/2/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Final Choice by LupsandTnks reviews
What happens if Alice has no vision, well no vision of Bella jumping off a cliff. and Edward doesn't go to the Volturi. Notice that I said Edward. Bella is there. She's volunteered and she want's to become a vampire with or without Edward's agreement.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,800 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/24/2007 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Complete