THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
If you think this next thing is incredibly cute and sweet, copy and paste it onto your profile.
Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?
Bella: Do you like me?
Bella: Do you want me?
Bella: Would you cry if I left?
Bella: Would you live for me?
Bella: Would you do anything for me?
Bella: Choose--me or your life
Edward: My life
Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
Now isn;t that the cutest thing you've ever read! So like Bella and Edward
There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
One bright day in the middle of the night,
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL! ( Ha Ha Kendall! )
Elmo knows where you live! ( Ha Ha again Kendall! )
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this !
Tell me thats not funny!!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
ONE FOR THE GIRLS!
(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you'll turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Those Real Labels:
Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"
Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."
Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"
Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"
Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."
Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."
Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"
Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." Are you sure? Lets experiment.
RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."
Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."
Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!
On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" And that would be how?
Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." As opposed to outer space.
Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Now I'm curious.
Check this out...
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!" I scream,
But its now much too late.
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP.
You know you live in the year 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter you password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
5.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
6.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 7.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 7.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.
Fun Things To Do On An Elevator. (:
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
11) Meow occasionally.
12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
2. My mother taught me RELIGION
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
4. My mother taught me LOGIC
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
7. My mother taught me IRONY
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
11. My mother taught me WEATHER
12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
15. My mother taught me: ENVY
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
19. My mother taught me: ESP
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
25. My mother taught me about Justice
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in God's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile.
(i dont know if im against abortion but i think that if you CAN care for a baby then you shouldnt get an abortion)
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL-I say George Strait
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
"Let's eat grandpa!!"
1. Falling in love.
How to Tell if You're a Writer:
-If you talk to yourself.
Way to know you are obsessed with Twilght!
You start eating ‘Bella’s’ food.
When your maths teacher says your gonna lear trig you look at your friend and say ‘TRIG’
You have twilightous, a disease that makes you addictied to twilight
When you go to the doctor’s you tell your mom that you want a different doctor. When she asks why you say ‘Cos’ his name’s not Carlisle, he doesn’t have a wife called esme, or adopt any children and he’s NOT A VAMPIRE’
When you watch hospital programs and someone is dying you scream ‘CARLISLE SAVE THEM!’
You have the whole official twilight soundtrack on your iPod/ MP3
You have read loads of these lists
And reviewed them
And realized that they were pretty much all true
Twilight has bought you and your best friend so much closer
You growl a lot more
And have learnt how to pounce
You insult your brother/ sister by saying there a werewolf/vampire (depending on what you are)
And by saying they smell like werewolf/ vampire
You insult your friend by saying she’s a dog
And she growls at you
You hate the fact that you have to wait a year for New Moon
But in a way don’t want to see it
Cos’ your gonna cry SOOOO much
When you told your friend she laughed at you
Cos’ she’s team Jacob and said it was her movie
You have pictures of the twilight boys around your room
When you did a geography project you wanted Kellan Lutz to be your sponser
But your stupid friends said no =(
You go on fanfiction like everydoor to see if the twilight story’s you have subscribed to have any updates
And get sad when they don’t
You looked for Wuthering Heights in you library
And got sad when they didn’t have it
But are now happy cos’ you found it today =)
When you saw the film ‘The Lost Boys’ you kept saying ‘Keh soo stereotypical!’
You were so happy when they announced that they were gonna keep Taylor Lautner as Jacob
In fact you screamed
You can relate ANYTHING to twilight
Whenever you see/find glitter you pour it over yourself
And everyone else
When you were in history and saw a husky on a video you and your friend went ‘IT’S JACOB!’
When someone says vampires and werewolves aren’t real, you shout at them and give them a lecture
You leave your window open for Edward at night
If you ever get a dog you know your gonna call it Jacob, Quil, Embry, Seth etc…
You search EVERYWHERE for silver Volvo’s or any of the other cars in twilight
And told your dad you want a yellow Porsche for your 18th birthday
And he laughed at you
And you sulked for days
You want to buy contacts in the colour of; butterscotch or red
Apple’s are now your favorite fruit
And whenever you have one you hold it the twilight way
On your bebo, facebook or whatever you put your location as Forks
Or Isle Esme
Or La Push
You and your friend want to go to twilight college
And if one doesn’t exist…well it should
And if you did got there you would totally get A in like EVERY area
You wrote on you science work Lauren Ashley Cullen (or your name lol)
When you watched P.S. I love you, you screamed at the women cos’ one of her job options was vampire slayer
You think van helsing is Gay!
And he obviously never met Edward Cullen
You got jealous of your friends mom because she read twilight but your mom refuses.
Cos she knows how obsessed you are
And reefer’s to twilight as ‘That vampire thing’
When your in the car and your parent’s are driving you say ‘Why are we going so slow’
And they look at you weirdly cos’ there going at 70MPH
You think they could have cast bella better
By picking you!
You have random conversations by yourself with the twilight characters
And have to admit that they do give a good conversation
And when you tell your mom she laughs at you
Ditto with the rest of your family
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT EDWARD CULLEN
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you.
We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass.
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going, "We fucked up, huh?"
Keep staring I might do a trick.
All things considered, insanity be the only reasonable alternative.'s
-Let flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.
-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?
-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.
-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.
-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.
-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time.
-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.
-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!
-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.
-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.
-I'm not short I'm fun sized.
-Love me or hate me personally I could care less
-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me
-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.
-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.
-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
You're never alone...
93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.
Don't be one of those people.
Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.
I am for Team Edward... Jacob doesn't SPARKLE!
You know you're obsessed with Twilight if... You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward! You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire. You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them. You've read Twilight and New Moon at least 5 times each! You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news. You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight or New Moon. You give your teachers Twilight and/or New Moon for Christmas. When you see a box labeled "Forks" at a restaurant you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there. Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you. You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up. You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward does. You watch the show Moonlight and imagine Beth as Bella and Mick as Edward. Now it's me writing again and I'm sorry about the whole thing that there isnt much thats really me in my profile but it's been a long day and my first profile I had I forgot to save.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown
When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap someone upside the head
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
if you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories copy and paste this into your profile.
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off
Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.
Music is love in search of word.Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.
My heart is not a playground
Did you just call me a ? Because a is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.I hate it when people say:
"When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice.
"It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it.
"Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life.
"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?
"Lol(all the time)" If you laugh out loud that much, then you have issues.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you've ever known you were in mortal danger but decided to go through with the stunt anyway, copy this into your profile
-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile
-If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile
-If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
-If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.
-If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I screamed and threw a fit, haha. i also cursed Edward)
-If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
-If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
-If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have ever tripped over air, copy and past this into your profile.
-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
-If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.
-If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
-If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile
-If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
-If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
-Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.
-If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile
IF YOU HAVE SLEPT FOR ALMOST A WHOLE DAY PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
IF YOU HAVE NEVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile (that's what siblings are for, lol)
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile
My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to werewolves and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.
If you like Evanescence, paste this in your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile
If music is your life, paste this in your profile.
If you love romance stories, paste this in your profile.
If you're a hopeless romantic, paste this in your profile.
If you have ever drank wine, paste this in your profile.
if you've tripped underwater or while swimming, paste this on your profile.
if you think that Drugs are bad news. Copy this into your profile.
if you think thatToo many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.
if you think that Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.
If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings when you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.
If you are crazied and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. _
If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
If you have ever been so bored you literally cried copy and paste this into your profile.
if you think that There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you think that those Godforsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.
If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile. (solarwinds: Ugh, tell me about it -_-)
If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.
If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you've ever busted a movie or burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
i'f you've ever started watching a movie but turned it off part way, copy and paste this on your profile
~ ~ Star Signs ~ ~
AQUARIUS- The Sweetheart (Jan 20-Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but can be original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19-Mar 20) Generous, kind and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secrative and vague. Sensitive. Doesn't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Symathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
ARIES- The Daredevil (Mar 21- Apr 19) Energetic. Advernturous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse (easily angered). Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
TAURUS- The Enduring One (Apr 20-May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their own way. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to furious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
GEMINI- The Chatterbox (May 21-June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptible but needs to express themselves. Arguementive and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial and inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.
CANCER- The Protector (June 21-July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from everyone. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
LEO- The Boss (July 23-Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Likes to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to the Leo's. Attractive.
VIRGO- The Perfectionist Dominant (Aug 23-Sept 22) In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Arguementive. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hard working. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
LIBRA- The Harmonizer (Sept 23-Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
SCORPIO- The Intense One (Oct 23-Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hard working. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secrative. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.
SAGITTARIUS- The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22-Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up. Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsiblities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
CAPRICORN- The Go-Getter (Dec 22-Jan19) Patient and wise. Practiacl and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competitions. Get what they want.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
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