VisserZer0
hide bio
Poll: Should Pappy's House of Flapjacks appear again in Mind Games? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
beta: β Beta Profile
Joined 03-08-09, id: 1860165, Profile Updated: 01-19-10
Author has written 5 stories for Animorphs, House, M.D., Resident Evil, and Twilight.

I'm glad we have FanFiction.Net so that we don't have to resort to places like this: Fan Fiction Now

I now also have an account on deviantART where I have submitted a book cover for A Joining of Covens, along with some other stuff. Go check it out! My username there is also VisserZer0.

About these "Twilight vs. Harry Potter" ads I keep seeing on this site: Can't we all just agree that they're both freakin' awesome and go on with life? If you agree, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: VisserZer0,

FYI: Not to be a jerk, but this has happened far too often. If you add one of my stories to your favorites or alerts list, I EXPECT A REVIEW FROM YOU!! Seriously, one day, I had about ten more favorites and alerts, but I only got one or two more reviews. That is very annoying. Even now there are some people on the list of favorites that have never reviewed once. Just to get that out of the way. Thanks for (not) reading.


Some information about me:

Gender: Male.

Real name: Old Man Crawdad.

Age: 8, 13, 79, what does it matter?

Phone number: You stalker. If you must know, it's 112-65-Blue

Address: Natureboy3's coal mine.

Current location: In a box, wondering what I should with the unconscious hobo.

Favorite book series (not in order): Animorphs, Warriors, Twilight Saga, Inheritance Cycle, Harry Potter, His Dark Materials.

Favorite single books (not part of a series): Cryptid Hunters and Half-Moon Investigations.

Favorite Video Games (not in order): Silent Hill series, Metal Gear Solid series, Super Smash Bros. series, Need for Speed series, Resident Evil series, Shadow Man, Impossible Creatures, Spore, Halo series, Assassin's Creed.

Current Thoughts: Aertf sgh ety. Hj, ghjf thrfv gh, jhty jh. Fhg tyrfs, ghyj hup?

Type your name: VisserZer0

Type your name with your elbow: VisserZer0

Type your name with your nose: VisserZer0

Type your name with your head: GvkioswdewdesezASew3resZa50

Type your name with your chin: VuisasaewerZee09

Type your name with your your wrist: VisserZr0

Type your name with your fist:VisserZXer0


List 12 of your favorite Animorphs characters in no particular order:

1. Ax

2. Tobias

3. Jake

4. Marco

5. Cassie

6. Rachel

7. Visser One

8. Visser Three

9. The Drode

10. David

11. Erek

12. Jara Hamee

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

(Rachel/Erek) No and no again. Erek's a robot for Pete's sake.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Seeing as I'm not gay, I do not think Marco is hot at all (eww)

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Jara Hamee gets Visser Three pregnant? Can't happen since they're both male and they're from a whole different species.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

There are a few fics about The Drode.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Tobias and Rachel are already a couple so yes.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Five/Ten (Cassie/David). At least David's an animal. Cassie loves animals.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Hmm. Visser One walks in on Tobias and Jara Hamee having sex. She would say, "Insolent fools," then Dracon them both.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Jake and David are in love but David is an enemy and a rat. What will the other Animorphs say about this?

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Ax/Visser Three fluff? Not unless the author is a very twisted person.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

(Visser One/Jara Hamee) I'm Sorry for Emotianally Scarring You, Now Get Out of my Bug Fighter!

That's about as close as a visser is ever going to get for comfort.

11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet?

None of my friends even read/write Animorphs on this site sadly.

12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

See above.

13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT "NONE OF MY FRIENDS READ OR WRITE ANIMORPHS ON THIS SITE??"

14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

A songfic about Visser Three. Dragula by Rob Zombie.

15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

(Ax/Rachel/Jara Hamee) WARNING: Don't read unless you have a strong stomach.

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

I read a fic about Cassie just a couple of days ago.

17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Ax and Visser One are in a happy relationshipp until The Drode runs off with Marco. Ax, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Erek and a brief unhappy affair with Jara Hamee, then follows the wise advice of Cassie and finds true love with Jake.

What title would you give this fic?

One Screwed Up Love Life.

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

If Visser One/Visser Three was canon? I would think that K. A. had a mental breakdown or was high on drugs.

Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed

The Shoes You Wore Today: My feet.

Your Weakness: The possibility of Animorphs 2.0.

Your Fears: That the coal mine will become infested with Geeeflies and Gurgbugs.

Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, olives, hamburger, green pepper, and lots of cheese.

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Actually beat someone on Impossible Creatures (that IOTKA test with Philk today doesn't count).

Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Hosting game.

Thoughts First Waking Up: Urrgh...

Your Best Physical Feature: My head. I can't live without it, can I?

Your Bedtime: School-nights: 10:00pm - Weekends: 11:00pm (sometimes later). Damn, it's a school-night.

McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King (but the King is creepy).

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Do you Smoke: No.

Will you Smoke: No.

Do you Swear: Ermm... Is my mom around?

Do you Sing: Does the shower count?

Do you Shower Daily: Yep.

Do you behave yourself: Mostly. -shifty eyes-

Do you get Motion Sickness: Dunno.

Do you think you are Attractive: That's not really for me to judge now, is it?

Are you a Health Freak: Nope.

Do you get along with your Parents: Usually.

Do you like Thunderstorms: Hardly (if ever) get any. But knowing me, I would.

Do you play an Instrument: Trombone.

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No way.

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Nope.

In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Nope.

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: What...the hell?

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A herpetologist, but am considering other options.

What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland and Japan.

Number of CDs I own: Music wise, none.

Fave Food: I can't pick favorites to save my life.

Fave Music: Don't know music genres very well, so I'll name bands/musicians: Three Days Grace, Green Day, Weird Al Yancovic, possibly Metallica.

What do your feet smell like? Why don't you find out? I'm sure it'll be a pleasant experience.

What does your hair smell like? What?

Can you clap with your feet? Yep. I can also play trombone with my feet.

Have you seen purple cows? GIANT STOCK ANIMALS!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!

If you have had 10 Mountain Dews, what would you be like? Very, very sick.

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
Disgusting.

2. Be serious or be funny?
Funny.

3. Drink whole or skim milk?:
Whole.

4. Die in a fire or drown?
Fire. I can't bear suffocation.

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
Parents.

D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.

1. Sun or moon?:
Moon.

2. Winter or Fall?
Winter.

3. left or right?
Right.

4. Ten acquaintances or two best friends?:
Two best friends.

5. Sunny or rain
Cloudy.

6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
Chocolate!

A B O U T . Y O U.

1. What time is it?: Time to fix your faulty watch.

2. What is your name?
If you'd bother to actually READ, my name is VisserZer0. Durrr.

3. What do you want to do?
Get you to go away.

4. Where do you wanna live?
In the United States.

5. How many kids do you want?
Dunno. Not too many.

6. Do you want to get married?
Yes.

7. have you ever done drugs?
Nope. Never.

8. what do you like on your pizza?
I answered this before, smart one.

9. Can you cross your eyes?
Maybe.

10. Do you make your bed daily?
Not at all.

R A N D O M.

1. Which shoe goes on first?
Right.

2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone?
It's happened both ways.

3. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl.

4. Have you ever eaten Spam?
Once.

5. Favorite ice cream?
Most flavors of Blizzard.

6. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
None. They're on top of my fridge.

7. Do you cook?
Sort of.

8. Current mood?
Content.

IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.

1. kissed some one?
No.

2. Sang?
Yep.

3. Been hugged:
Nope.

4. Felt stupid:
Yep.

5. Missed someone:
Nope.

6. Danced Crazy?
Nope.

7. Gotten your hair cut?
Nope.

8. Cried:
Nope.

9. been kissed:
Nope.

. S T U F F .

2. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.

2. do you have a Dog?
No, but I wish I did.

The last time you've been sledding?
Last year.

4. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yep. In some twisted ways, too.

Do you have any friends on FF.net?
Natureboy3, whom I know in real life, and King of Itheria.

Do you know anybody in real life from FF.net
Natureboy3. See above.

Where are you?
In my chair.

Look up, then look back, what do you see?
The ceiling, the wall, and my bed.

What are you listening to right now?
Nothing.

Last thing you ate?
Turkey sandwich and sweet potatoes.

Last thing you thought?
I wonder when this will end.

You have a million dollars what do you do?
Buy lots of books and video games.

What are you eating/drinking right now?
Nothing.

Find a Globe. Spin it. Where does it land?
There's not a single globe in my house.

Find a book, turn to page 56, line 18, what does it say and what book is it?
Book: Warriors New Prophecy: Dawn.
It says, "...us to hear what Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw have to say."

Turn on the TV, what show is on?
It's on video. I was playing Resident Evil 4.

Type you name with your elbow
visserzer0. Yay!

Now, type your name with your nose
visrzr0. What??

Type your name w/out looking
visserzwezer=. Gah.

Stand up, close your eyes, spin around 3 times, open your eyes, what do you see?
My door.

If you were any character from Warriors, who would you be?
Jayfeather.

Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it?
The book from an earlier question.

Favorite Pairings:

Rachel/Tobias

Visser Three/Visser One (wait, that can't be right)

Cloudtail/Brightheart

Firestar/Sandstorm

Early Brambleclaw/Squirrelflight

Least Favorite Pairings:

Cassie/Jake (no, I'm not racist. I just don't like Cassie- She is a tree-hugging moron)

Graystripe/Silverstream. No specific reason.

Leafpool/Crowfeather. Crowfeather is an asshole! Sorry, LeafxCrow addicts, it's true.

Tigerstar/any cat. Tigerstar does not love anything but himself.


My results on a Mary Sue test for Alexander Brown (from Mind Games):

Alexander Brown is only a little like you. He isn't really very cool: he blends into crowds, he hangs out on the fringes at parties, and wearing shades after dark makes him run into things. There's never been anything special about him that he could see; boy, is he in for a surprise. He's come in for his share of hurt, but gotten off with minor damage. And he's gotten no slack from you.

In general, you care deeply about Alexander Brown, but you're smart enough to let him stand on his own, without burdening him with your personal fantasies or propping him up with idealization and over-dramatization. Alexander Brown is a healthy character with a promising career ahead of him.


Favorite Quotes:

"Mmm, Lean Cuisine Frozen Mouse Entrees."-Marco, Animorphs #9: The Secret

"No Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face."-Bella Swan, Eclipse

"Hello, welcome to Burger King, may I--" "WWWHHHOOOPPPEEERRR!!"-Luigi and Exploud, "Luigi's Comedy Show Episode Four: Burger King"

"I think my penis stopped breathing. Does anyone know CPR?"-Dr. Gregory House, "House MD"

((Gee really, do you think?! Hold my breath?!))-Tobias, Animorphs #15: The Escape

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?"-Bella Cullen, Breaking Dawn

"Circles, for God's sake!"-DGM3

"OH MY HAT!"-Steve Leonard, "Extreme Animals" BBC Wildlife

"That is one big pile of shit."-Ian Malcolm, "Jurassic Park"

"Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas."-Ian Malcolm, "The Lost World"

"I'm Falling Girl's partner, Dropping Chick."-Cassie, Animorphs #12: The Reaction

"Do you hate trash cans?" Jake asked, "Is that your problem? Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?!"-Jake, Animorphs Megamorphs #1: The Andalite's Gift

"Well, it's going to get even holier crap than that."- My technology teacher

"Look at that! I just jacked some of your root beer!"-My Senior Patrol Leader

"Use your paper-eating attitude to play it."-My band teacher

"Maybe it was a sign from StarClan to not wake old Cinderpelt or you might get a few whiskers pulled."-Cinderpelt, Warriors: A Dangerous Path (or was it Rising Storm?)

"I ought to shoot you."-My friend, Connor playing Star Fox 64

"Some fear death, others pray for it."-back of the Silent Hill 2 instruction booklet

"Come on. Let's get out of here before we get arrested or something."-Natureboy3


Copy and Paste Thingies:

If you think Animorphs and Twilight are AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Warrior Cats is AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your science teacher is a whack-job, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a Boy Scout, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're an eco-nut, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the above statement is ridiculus, copy and paste it, and this into your profile.

If you guys love to read, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you guys love to play video games, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think flamers are dirt bags who spend their day thinking of ways to insult people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a lunatic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually try to come up with reasons why FanFiction.Net asks you if you're human, copy and paste this into your profile.

If the Eagle Insurance commercials freak you out to no end, copy and paste this into your profile.

If cryptozoology interests you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know what cryptozoology is, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like Animorphs and have attempted to acquire and morph your pet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't, then you're not a true fan.

If you think Jacob Black should be sent to the pound, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern, Coal Miner's accent,or Elvis impression, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the reason for taking Meth and other illegal drugs is the lack of an actual life, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you got ticked off when FanFiction told you that you couldn't publish anything for two days, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to sing about tamales in the afternoon, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever stuck a frog in a blender, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't know what your favorite animal is, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Animorphs that it's NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile. cough Jacob cough

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a MySpace and you don't want a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the internet population has a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Jacob Black and think that he needs to get pushed off a cliff, copy and paste this into your profile. (No, do NOT let him jump. than he will be fine. And make sure there is a spiky pit of doom at the bottom! Mwahahahahah!)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this into your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile!

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.

If you hate Jacob Black, copy and paste this into your profile.

90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you think High School Musical is evil and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever started one of these 'copy and paste this into your profile' things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile.

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile (all of 'em!).

If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile.

If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile.

If FanFiction.Net is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Liquid Snake should just freakin' die already, copy and paste this into your profile.

You think Animorphs sucks!? Go boil your head!


You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days..."

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormous caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I'm the kind of girl (or boy) who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tasty!

P.S: I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing!

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.


On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)


You know you live in 2010 when...

1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or MySpace

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.


15 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"


Ways to make sure you're insane:


At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"


"I'll Sue Ya!" by Weird Al Yankovic: FanFiction.Net style!

I sued Tony Branston
'Cause he said that me and my friends
Were part of a circlejerk!

I sued Virtuous Wanderer
‘Cause he called me a n00b
And I got mad!

Huh, I sued Ho of Night
'Cause I read The Naughty Prophecy
And it made my eyes bleed!

I sued Mangogirl
'Cause I read The Final Encounter
And it made my eyes bleed even more!

I sued DGM3 'Cause I tried to read Pancake Ed
And my head exploded!

Ugh, I sued the ToS
'Cause I think that some of their rules
Are way out of whack!

I sued Moosie49, yo
'Cause I read Emmett’s Entertainment
And I nearly laughed to death!

I sued Jameima Blonde
'Cause I read Gabby Fateria
And it freaked me out!

Yeah!!

If you don’t update at all
If you make me so angry I fall

I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah I might even sue you!

Ugh!!

I sued MeggieandResa
‘Cause when I read Graystripe got Owned
It really pissed me off!

I sued Seddiefan930
'Cause I read The Invasion
And it was a load of crap!

I sued Cool96
'Cause his grammar’s so bad
That it’s unreal!

I sued the Shit List
'Cause it’s an insult to Warriors
And the admin is a jerk!

I sued flamers
'Cause they wouldn’t know a good fic
If it punched them right in the nose!

I sued Fart Butt Fart
'Cause you know, I think his PenName
Creeps me out!

I sued Poisoned Romance
'Cause she's finally written stories
But her butt is probably fat!

I sued Coonass
Aw, do I even need a reason?
Ugh!

If I jam my finger
While I'm reviewing your fic

If you send me a PM
That makes me sound like a prick

I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue
Yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, that's right I'm gonna sue you

Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!

I'll sue ya!
If you flame my story
I'll sue ya!
If you take my ideas and don’t give me the glory

I'll sue ya!
If you flame my story
I'll sue ya!
If you take my ideas and don’t give me the glory

I'll sue ya!
If you flame my story
I'll sue ya!
If you take my ideas and don’t give me the glory

I'll sue ya!
If you flame my story
I'll sue ya!
If you take my ideas and don’t give me the glory

I'll sue ya!
Ha-ha ha ha-haa
I'll sue ya!
What'chall think of that?

I'll sue ya!
Ha-ha ha ha-haa
Boo ya!
I'll sue ya!

Ugh!


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'M RELIGIOUS (not overly), so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. Umm, what the hell? I'm not gay, ya know...
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS (some), so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS (just games), so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd or a geek
I play VIDEO GAMES alot, so I MUST have no life
I don't have a TIME LIMIT on the computer, so I MUST be failing school

Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator:

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one nation
UNDER GOD,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.

If you think under God should stay in the pledge of allegiance, copy and paste that into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCaffe, Hyperactiveley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart, Littlewhisker, Flamestar211, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Natureboy3, VisserZer0

Crazy? I was crazy once! I would sing stupid songs at school, then read books on how to read! But then I died, and people put daisies on my grave, and one is bending down and tickling me on my nose, so I'm giggling and everyone is scared of me because I'm dead and I'm not supposed to be giggling so no more daisies! I know, I'm crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! Copy and paste this into your profile if this applies to you, and you know it does.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A- Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, SilverMoonArcher, Uchiha Kyori of the sand, Fallingmoon1, VisserZer0

If you are SICK of all of the unoriginal Twilight fanfictions that only consist of Bella getting bitten by another vampire, Edward never coming back, and chalkfull of uncalled-for Bella-Edward Emoness, and are now on your knees for one origanal fanfiction, Copy this onto your fanfiction and add your name: MidnightWalker/EdwardandBellaTruLove4Ever, The Dawn Is Breaking, VisserZer0

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile: Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, Aleksandrya Gregonovitch, freakily obsessed Yassen fan, XxXMaximuM-RideRXxX, DoYouReallySeeMe, EvilMuffinsOfDeath, VisserZer0

Harry Potter and Animorphs are better than Twilight. Yeah, crazy Cullenism followers, I said it. Something IS better than Twilight. Copy and paste this in your profile if you believe something is better than Twilight, and add you name to the list: Rainsong of Skyclan, VisserZer0 (I like it but some things ARE better. Don't kill me!),

I'M NOT A GIRL, BUT ALL OF THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE ABOUT ME:

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, Number-1-JASPER-fangirl, VisserZer0(boy)

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.


This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you


Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your options. Would you rather be fat for a while, or kill your child?

If you're against abortion, re-post this


Stop Flamers Now!

No more shall we tolerate flamers that flame for stupid reasons such as for pairings, who wrote the story, and just because they can!

Copy and paste this into your profile if you want to join the organization called "Stop Flamers Now"


A JOINING OF COVENS HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE ANIMORPHS CROSSOVERS SECTION

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Flowers For My Valentine: A Pewdiecry fanfic by Pewdiecry reviews
It's Valentine's Day, and Pewdie finally musters up the courage to ask Cry a very important question. A short, little fic I wrote in celebration of Valentine's Day! This was requested by OrangeRook, and a very good request this was c: Enjoy!
Misc. Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 620 - Reviews: 638 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 113 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Complete
Vengeance by Natureboy3 reviews
Hollyleaf is back, and she's not the same cat she once was. She's out for blood, out for revenge, and those who she deems responsible will suffer horribly.
Warriors - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,091 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Hollyleaf
Animorphs 55: The Last by Gryphon124 reviews
Takes place after book 54. The Crayak cheated and the cosmic game is not yet over, but it is coming to its end and The Animorphs must finish it, with Rachel as a guide. Narrated by Tobias. R&R! Chapter 13 is Up!
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,154 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 1/17/2005 - Tobias, Rachel
The Sentinel by Natureboy3 reviews
Everything made sense now. There was no StarClan, no dark forest, just this place. And she was to be Sentinel. One-shot.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,241 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/27/2009 - Leafpool, Jayfeather - Complete
The Andalite Curse by CharmedMilliE reviews
Marco's acting weird and Ax's the only one who knew the reason why.
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,874 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/29/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Complete
THE CLASS by Freak Apple reviews
The Animorphs were being assaulted phsyically and mentally by this war with the yeerks, but it wasn't until this class that they finally tipped over the edge. SEX ED. Completed One-shot with a strong PG-13. For real, dudes.
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,951 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mind Games reviews
Leon S. Kennedy moves to the medium-sized town of Pineridge after taking leave from his job as a U.S government agent. However, the townsfolk don't exactly live up to the area's peaceful reputation. After befriending a local police officer and reuniting with Ashley Graham, the three must face unspeakable horrors—and each other—if they hope to escape with their lives.
Resident Evil - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,978 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 7/29/2009
A Joining of Covens reviews
While feeding in an unfamiliar area, Ax discovers a strange mountain lion corpse that has been emptied of it's blood. Curious, the Animorphs go investigate. Animorphs/Twilight Saga crossover. R&R please. Ch. 16 is now up!
Crossover - Animorphs & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,668 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/25/2010 - Published: 3/10/2009
Let's Start a Riot reviews
David just couldn't take it anymore. He had to do something about the Animorphs. Songfic for Riot, by Three Days Grace. T for language and malicious thoughts.
Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 420 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5/23/2009 - David
HOUSE: A Cinderella Story reviews
We had to write a Cinderella story for Language Arts and I did mine on House. I had alot of fun writing this so I haope you have alot of fun reading it! R&R please.
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/22/2009 - G. House, A. Cameron
Marco Hates the Banjo and Then Some reviews
Marco's dad brings home a banjo. What kind of terror could this bring? Random idea. ThreeShot when I post the third chapter. R&R please!
Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,244 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Marco
defunct1 (0)
Natureboy3 (30)
Vickie1 (20)
Manager of:
Community: Freakishly Wierd Stories
Focus: Books Animorphs

Staff of:
  1. Warriors Romance
    Books Warriors