Poll: Should Pappy's House of Flapjacks appear again in Mind Games? Vote Now!
Author has written 5 stories for Animorphs, House, M.D., Resident Evil, and Twilight.
I'm glad we have FanFiction.Net so that we don't have to resort to places like this:
I now also have an account on deviantART where I have submitted a book cover for A Joining of Covens, along with some other stuff. Go check it out! My username there is also VisserZer0.
About these "Twilight vs. Harry Potter" ads I keep seeing on this site: Can't we all just agree that they're both freakin' awesome and go on with life? If you agree, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: VisserZer0,
FYI: Not to be a jerk, but this has happened far too often. If you add one of my stories to your favorites or alerts list, I EXPECT A REVIEW FROM YOU!! Seriously, one day, I had about ten more favorites and alerts, but I only got one or two more reviews. That is very annoying. Even now there are some people on the list of favorites that have never reviewed once. Just to get that out of the way. Thanks for (not) reading.
Some information about me:
Real name: Old Man Crawdad.
Age: 8, 13, 79, what does it matter?
Phone number: You stalker. If you must know, it's 112-65-Blue
Address: Natureboy3's coal mine.
Current location: In a box, wondering what I should with the unconscious hobo.
Favorite book series (not in order): Animorphs, Warriors, Twilight Saga, Inheritance Cycle, Harry Potter, His Dark Materials.
Favorite single books (not part of a series): Cryptid Hunters and Half-Moon Investigations.
Favorite Video Games (not in order): Silent Hill series, Metal Gear Solid series, Super Smash Bros. series, Need for Speed series, Resident Evil series, Shadow Man, Impossible Creatures, Spore, Halo series, Assassin's Creed.
Current Thoughts: Aertf sgh ety. Hj, ghjf thrfv gh, jhty jh. Fhg tyrfs, ghyj hup?
Type your name: VisserZer0
Type your name with your elbow: VisserZer0
Type your name with your nose: VisserZer0
Type your name with your head: GvkioswdewdesezASew3resZa50
Type your name with your chin: VuisasaewerZee09
Type your name with your your wrist: VisserZr0
Type your name with your fist:VisserZXer0
List 12 of your favorite Animorphs characters in no particular order:
7. Visser One
8. Visser Three
9. The Drode
12. Jara Hamee
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
(Rachel/Erek) No and no again. Erek's a robot for Pete's sake.
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Seeing as I'm not gay, I do not think Marco is hot at all (eww)
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Jara Hamee gets Visser Three pregnant? Can't happen since they're both male and they're from a whole different species.
4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
There are a few fics about The Drode.
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Tobias and Rachel are already a couple so yes.
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Five/Ten (Cassie/David). At least David's an animal. Cassie loves animals.
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Hmm. Visser One walks in on Tobias and Jara Hamee having sex. She would say, "Insolent fools," then Dracon them both.
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Jake and David are in love but David is an enemy and a rat. What will the other Animorphs say about this?
9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Ax/Visser Three fluff? Not unless the author is a very twisted person.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
(Visser One/Jara Hamee) I'm Sorry for Emotianally Scarring You, Now Get Out of my Bug Fighter!
That's about as close as a visser is ever going to get for comfort.
11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet?
None of my friends even read/write Animorphs on this site sadly.
12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT "NONE OF MY FRIENDS READ OR WRITE ANIMORPHS ON THIS SITE??"
14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
A songfic about Visser Three. Dragula by Rob Zombie.
15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
(Ax/Rachel/Jara Hamee) WARNING: Don't read unless you have a strong stomach.
16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I read a fic about Cassie just a couple of days ago.
17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).
Ax and Visser One are in a happy relationshipp until The Drode runs off with Marco. Ax, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Erek and a brief unhappy affair with Jara Hamee, then follows the wise advice of Cassie and finds true love with Jake.
What title would you give this fic?
One Screwed Up Love Life.
18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
If Visser One/Visser Three was canon? I would think that K. A. had a mental breakdown or was high on drugs.
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed
The Shoes You Wore Today: My feet.
Your Weakness: The possibility of Animorphs 2.0.
Your Fears: That the coal mine will become infested with Geeeflies and Gurgbugs.
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, olives, hamburger, green pepper, and lots of cheese.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Actually beat someone on Impossible Creatures (that IOTKA test with Philk today doesn't count).
Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Hosting game.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Urrgh...
Your Best Physical Feature: My head. I can't live without it, can I?
Your Bedtime: School-nights: 10:00pm - Weekends: 11:00pm (sometimes later). Damn, it's a school-night.
McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King (but the King is creepy).
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Do you Smoke: No.
Will you Smoke: No.
Do you Swear: Ermm... Is my mom around?
Do you Sing: Does the shower count?
Do you Shower Daily: Yep.
Do you behave yourself: Mostly. -shifty eyes-
Do you get Motion Sickness: Dunno.
Do you think you are Attractive: That's not really for me to judge now, is it?
Are you a Health Freak: Nope.
Do you get along with your Parents: Usually.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Hardly (if ever) get any. But knowing me, I would.
Do you play an Instrument: Trombone.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No way.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Nope.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Nope.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: What...the hell?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A herpetologist, but am considering other options.
What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland and Japan.
Number of CDs I own: Music wise, none.
Fave Food: I can't pick favorites to save my life.
Fave Music: Don't know music genres very well, so I'll name bands/musicians: Three Days Grace, Green Day, Weird Al Yancovic, possibly Metallica.
What do your feet smell like? Why don't you find out? I'm sure it'll be a pleasant experience.
What does your hair smell like? What?
Can you clap with your feet? Yep. I can also play trombone with my feet.
Have you seen purple cows? GIANT STOCK ANIMALS!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!
If you have had 10 Mountain Dews, what would you be like? Very, very sick.
W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
2. Be serious or be funny?
3. Drink whole or skim milk?:
4. Die in a fire or drown?
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.
2. Winter or Fall?
3. left or right?
4. Ten acquaintances or two best friends?:
5. Sunny or rain
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
A B O U T . Y O U.
1. What time is it?: Time to fix your faulty watch.
2. What is your name?
3. What do you want to do?
4. Where do you wanna live?
5. How many kids do you want?
6. Do you want to get married?
7. have you ever done drugs?
8. what do you like on your pizza?
9. Can you cross your eyes?
10. Do you make your bed daily?
R A N D O M.
1. Which shoe goes on first?
2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone?
3. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
4. Have you ever eaten Spam?
5. Favorite ice cream?
6. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
7. Do you cook?
8. Current mood?
IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.
1. kissed some one?
3. Been hugged:
4. Felt stupid:
5. Missed someone:
6. Danced Crazy?
7. Gotten your hair cut?
9. been kissed:
. S T U F F .
2. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
2. do you have a Dog?
The last time you've been sledding?
4. Do you consider yourself creative?
Do you have any friends on FF.net?
Do you know anybody in real life from FF.net
Where are you?
Look up, then look back, what do you see?
What are you listening to right now?
Last thing you ate?
Last thing you thought?
You have a million dollars what do you do?
What are you eating/drinking right now?
Find a Globe. Spin it. Where does it land?
Find a book, turn to page 56, line 18, what does it say and what book is it?
Turn on the TV, what show is on?
Type you name with your elbow
Now, type your name with your nose
Type your name w/out looking
Stand up, close your eyes, spin around 3 times, open your eyes, what do you see?
If you were any character from Warriors, who would you be?
Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it?
Visser Three/Visser One (wait, that can't be right)
Least Favorite Pairings:
Cassie/Jake (no, I'm not racist. I just don't like Cassie- She is a tree-hugging moron)
Graystripe/Silverstream. No specific reason.
Leafpool/Crowfeather. Crowfeather is an asshole! Sorry, LeafxCrow addicts, it's true.
Tigerstar/any cat. Tigerstar does not love anything but himself.
My results on a Mary Sue test for Alexander Brown (from Mind Games):
Alexander Brown is only a little like you. He isn't really very cool: he blends into crowds, he hangs out on the fringes at parties, and wearing shades after dark makes him run into things. There's never been anything special about him that he could see; boy, is he in for a surprise. He's come in for his share of hurt, but gotten off with minor damage. And he's gotten no slack from you.
In general, you care deeply about Alexander Brown, but you're smart enough to let him stand on his own, without burdening him with your personal fantasies or propping him up with idealization and over-dramatization. Alexander Brown is a healthy character with a promising career ahead of him.
"Mmm, Lean Cuisine Frozen Mouse Entrees."-Marco, Animorphs #9: The Secret
"No Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face."-Bella Swan, Eclipse
"Hello, welcome to Burger King, may I--" "WWWHHHOOOPPPEEERRR!!"-Luigi and Exploud, "Luigi's Comedy Show Episode Four: Burger King"
"I think my penis stopped breathing. Does anyone know CPR?"-Dr. Gregory House, "House MD"
((Gee really, do you think?! Hold my breath?!))-Tobias, Animorphs #15: The Escape
"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?"-Bella Cullen, Breaking Dawn
"Circles, for God's sake!"-DGM3
"OH MY HAT!"-Steve Leonard, "Extreme Animals" BBC Wildlife
"That is one big pile of shit."-Ian Malcolm, "Jurassic Park"
"Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas."-Ian Malcolm, "The Lost World"
"I'm Falling Girl's partner, Dropping Chick."-Cassie, Animorphs #12: The Reaction
"Do you hate trash cans?" Jake asked, "Is that your problem? Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?!"-Jake, Animorphs Megamorphs #1: The Andalite's Gift
"Well, it's going to get even holier crap than that."- My technology teacher
"Look at that! I just jacked some of your root beer!"-My Senior Patrol Leader
"Use your paper-eating attitude to play it."-My band teacher
"Maybe it was a sign from StarClan to not wake old Cinderpelt or you might get a few whiskers pulled."-Cinderpelt, Warriors: A Dangerous Path (or was it Rising Storm?)
"I ought to shoot you."-My friend, Connor playing Star Fox 64
"Some fear death, others pray for it."-back of the Silent Hill 2 instruction booklet
"Come on. Let's get out of here before we get arrested or something."-Natureboy3
Copy and Paste Thingies:
If you think Animorphs and Twilight are AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Warrior Cats is AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your science teacher is a whack-job, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're a Boy Scout, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're an eco-nut, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the above statement is ridiculus, copy and paste it, and this into your profile.
If you guys love to read, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you guys love to play video games, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think flamers are dirt bags who spend their day thinking of ways to insult people, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're a lunatic, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you actually try to come up with reasons why FanFiction.Net asks you if you're human, copy and paste this into your profile.
If the Eagle Insurance commercials freak you out to no end, copy and paste this into your profile.
If cryptozoology interests you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know what cryptozoology is, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like Animorphs and have attempted to acquire and morph your pet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't, then you're not a true fan.
If you think Jacob Black should be sent to the pound, copy and paste this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern, Coal Miner's accent,or Elvis impression, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the reason for taking Meth and other illegal drugs is the lack of an actual life, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
If you got ticked off when FanFiction told you that you couldn't publish anything for two days, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like to sing about tamales in the afternoon, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever stuck a frog in a blender, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't know what your favorite animal is, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Animorphs that it's NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile. cough Jacob cough
If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't have a MySpace and you don't want a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of the internet population has a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate Jacob Black and think that he needs to get pushed off a cliff, copy and paste this into your profile. (No, do NOT let him jump. than he will be fine. And make sure there is a spiky pit of doom at the bottom! Mwahahahahah!)
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this into your profile.
If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile!
.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.
If you hate Jacob Black, copy and paste this into your profile.
90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.
If you think High School Musical is evil and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever started one of these 'copy and paste this into your profile' things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile.
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile (all of 'em!).
If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile.
If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile.
If FanFiction.Net is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you think that Liquid Snake should just freakin' die already, copy and paste this into your profile.
You think Animorphs sucks!? Go boil your head!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days..."
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormous caterpillar.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"
I'm the kind of girl (or boy) who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tasty!
P.S: I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.
-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.
-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -
- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing!
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- He who laughs last didn't get it.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
On Sears hairdryer:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On artificial bacon:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
You know you live in 2010 when...
1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or MySpace
4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
15 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! ) 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!" 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
15 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
Ways to make sure you're insane:
Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"
"I'll Sue Ya!" by Weird Al Yankovic: FanFiction.Net style!
I sued Tony Branston
I sued Virtuous Wanderer
Huh, I sued Ho of Night
I sued Mangogirl
I sued DGM3 'Cause I tried to read Pancake Ed
Ugh, I sued the ToS
I sued Moosie49, yo
I sued Jameima Blonde
If you don’t update at all
I'm gonna sue, sue
I sued MeggieandResa
I sued Seddiefan930
I sued Cool96
I sued the Shit List
I sued flamers
I sued Fart Butt Fart
I sued Poisoned Romance
I sued Coonass
If I jam my finger
If you send me a PM
I'm gonna sue, sue
I'll sue ya!
I'll sue ya!
I'll sue ya!
I'll sue ya!
I'll sue ya!
I'll sue ya!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator:
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
I pledge allegiance to the flag
If you think under God should stay in the pledge of allegiance, copy and paste that into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCaffe, Hyperactiveley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart, Littlewhisker, Flamestar211, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Natureboy3, VisserZer0
Crazy? I was crazy once! I would sing stupid songs at school, then read books on how to read! But then I died, and people put daisies on my grave, and one is bending down and tickling me on my nose, so I'm giggling and everyone is scared of me because I'm dead and I'm not supposed to be giggling so no more daisies! I know, I'm crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! Copy and paste this into your profile if this applies to you, and you know it does.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A- Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, SilverMoonArcher, Uchiha Kyori of the sand, Fallingmoon1, VisserZer0
If you are SICK of all of the unoriginal Twilight fanfictions that only consist of Bella getting bitten by another vampire, Edward never coming back, and chalkfull of uncalled-for Bella-Edward Emoness, and are now on your knees for one origanal fanfiction, Copy this onto your fanfiction and add your name: MidnightWalker/EdwardandBellaTruLove4Ever, The Dawn Is Breaking, VisserZer0
If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile: Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, Aleksandrya Gregonovitch, freakily obsessed Yassen fan, XxXMaximuM-RideRXxX, DoYouReallySeeMe, EvilMuffinsOfDeath, VisserZer0
Harry Potter and Animorphs are better than Twilight. Yeah, crazy Cullenism followers, I said it. Something IS better than Twilight. Copy and paste this in your profile if you believe something is better than Twilight, and add you name to the list: Rainsong of Skyclan, VisserZer0 (I like it but some things ARE better. Don't kill me!),
I'M NOT A GIRL, BUT ALL OF THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE ABOUT ME:
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, Number-1-JASPER-fangirl, VisserZer0(boy)
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your options. Would you rather be fat for a while, or kill your child?
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Stop Flamers Now!
No more shall we tolerate flamers that flame for stupid reasons such as for pairings, who wrote the story, and just because they can!
Copy and paste this into your profile if you want to join the organization called "Stop Flamers Now"
A JOINING OF COVENS HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE ANIMORPHS CROSSOVERS SECTION
Unsafe External Link