jakeward
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Joined 03-13-09, id: 1865633, Profile Updated: 03-21-09

edwardluver96

XxInuyasha4everxX

MY REASON FOR LIVING!!

uhhh...not much else...maybe story later

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Awwww, that's too bad, I really hate that bed head look.)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Are they trying to make us into cleptomaniacs?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (Very, verrrry descriptive...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Ummmm... a little bit of an earlier warning would have been nice.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Well, doesn't that just kill the spirit of all those children stabbers?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Really? I thought heating things made them colder.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (Would that get rid of wrinkles on someone's face??)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief! I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Oh, because I was taking it for a caffine buzz..)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (I was hoping for some M&M's.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh ... fly Delta?)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Aren't y'all proud of our human race?...exactly

Love life by XxInuyasha4everxX reviews
Quil can see Jacob is upset about losing Bella. So when he signs Jacob up on a dating site he thinks he is doing a favor. But what happens when Jake has to make a choice, and his "match" is someone nobody saw coming?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,589 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Jacob, Quil Jr.