Crimson ultrafox
hide bio
Poll: Who are your three favorite Avatar the Last Airbender characters? From the original series Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 03-13-09, id: 1865981, Profile Updated: 10-19-13
Author has written 3 stories for Naruto.

Well...if you're reading this then you must be interested in what goes on in the head of Crimson ultrafox. I figured i'd fix my messy profile and make it easier to read.

Also, I want to warn you now that I cuss A LOT on this page, and I also BASH tons of stuff, so if you can't handle it, then leave.

I don't know where I found the time to write this incredibly long profile...I've added to it a lot over the years. Once again I want to warn you that it is insanely long and full of profanity. Sorry if my grammar is horrible at some parts.

Real Name: Sean (You're not getting my last name...unless I really like you)

Age: 21 (God I just keep getting older)

Height/Weight/Appearance: I'm a moderately tall guy at six feet even. I weigh close to 175 pounds, used to be more but i lost some weight after i quit playing football. I have short brown hair and brown eyes. Honestly, I am a very average looking guy. I've been called good looking by more than one person, but you really wouldn't be able to spot me out of a crowd...unless i was in China or something LOL. I'm fairly fit, but I don't have an eight pack or anything like that.

Occupation: I'm a college student, and I have a lame boring yawnfest job...I work at a fitness center. Do you know how boring it is to watch other people work out? Yeah it sucks...the only interesting people at the gym are some awesome Australian guy and this one black guy who reminds me of Michael Clarke Duncan that could probably throw a car. I intend on going through medical school and becoming a doctor...I know I don't seem the type do I? Two years down...good grades, year long spans with no updates on my story. Check check and checkmate!

Location: In the United States in the south. (I'm not a redneck though...just surrounded by them) SAVE ME!!! I want to live where it's cold and dry! Like in the mountains! If you like swamps, beaches, humidity, and idiots then I'd definitely recommend it.

Religion: No official religion...half my family's catholic, and the other half is protestant. I guess I'm agnostic, but really I just don't care. I don't think about it and just go along with my daily life. Do I believe in an afterlife? Maybe...but even so there's nothing wrong with sweet Oblivion after death either. For in Oblivion there is no desire unfulfilled.

Relationship: Hopefully no more until after college...I've had my fill of crazy women for now. Pretty soon they'll be after my money O_o

Favorite Food: Sushi!!!! I love sushi...and not just those rolls either. I mean like real Japanese sushi. I'll tell you man...Asian people know how to cook. Though I also love any kind of spicy food as well.

Favorite Colors: Black, Red, White, Purple, and Orange are all my personal favorites...they change frequently because I can never make up my mind. Though if I had to choose one besides Black, I'd say dark purple. Such a royal and sexy color.

Favorite Band(s): We'll just make a list here...based on category. Clearly Metal is my favorite type of music though.

Metal and Rock (Don't really know how to classify all of these): Amon Amarth, Metallica, Megadeth, Summoning (Austrian Black's amazing), Parasite Inc (Badass german death metal), All that Remains, Arkona (Some Russian Band I found. They're badass), Disturbed, Tyr, Rammstein, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Black Sabbath, Dio, Slipnot, Ozzy, Blind Guardian (Oh god I love them), Breaking Benjamin, Crossfade, Evanesence, Within Temptation, Lacuna Coil, Five Finger Death Punch, Godsmack, Mudvayne, Papa Roach, Queen, Three days Grace, 3 doors down, and Linkin Park (If they count as rock). I know that's a LOT isn't it?!

Rock Alternative: (Mostly my 90s favorites): Everlast, Lit, Live, Oasis, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, Alice in Chains, Faith No More, Third Eye Blind, Candlebox, Nine Inch Nails, Collective Soul, Hinder, The Offspring, Puddle of Mudd, Hootie and the know stuff like that.

Rap/Hip-Hop (Not the biggest fan, but I like a lot the older stuff) Tupac, Cypress Hill (if they count), Ice Cube, Coolio, Dr Dre, Easy E, The Game, Nelly, and Eminem. There's a few odd songs from artists I barely know that are pretty good too.

Pop: Yeah right lol: Idk...Lady Gaga has a few good songs. I like Michael Jackson's old songs, and of course my girl Whitney Houston has a bunch of good stuff...still though I'm not really the biggest fan of this genre.

Country: You guys already know I detest a lot of the garbage in the genre, but there are a few diamonds in the rough so to speak. I happen to love Dierks Bentley, Toby Keith has a few good songs, and for some reason I really like Rascal Flatts. Idk, you have to look hard for the good stuff in country. It just all sounds the same after a while...and quite honestly I can't stand female country singers. I'm sorry, but they are just so damn whiny to me...

Dubstep: Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan, and I barely know much about the genre, but I've heard a few good songs.

Epic Music: (Like trailers/soundtracks/classical/badass fighting music/etc.) Two Steps from Hell, Audiomachine, Immediate Music, the Loreena Mckennitt, Howard Shore, Hans Zimmer, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Don Davis, and pretty much any composer or soundtrack that's in my favorite games and movies.

Top 10 Best Games I Have Ever Played: AKA my personal HALL OF FAME

10. Prince of Persia: Warrior Within (That soundtrack...that gameplay...forget Kaileena, I thought Shahdee was the hottest woman in this game)

9. Legend of Zelda: Windwaker (Clearly I am a hardcore zelda fan, but I loved the sailing, I loved the story, and I enjoyed the style)

8. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (I adore Midna, I loved this game so much. It really felt like it tried to capture what I loved about Ocarina. If it had Gerudos it would have been perfect...damn it where were my beautiful dark skinned bandit babes at?!?!?! Ahem, but alas, I enjoyed the story and gameplay)

7. Super Mario 64 (Best Mario Game ever invented. The following games never quite filled the shoes on this masterpiece)

6. Perfect Dark (The best shooting game to ever exist...nothing comes close. Not COD, Not Halo, Not Gears, Not Battlefield...nothing!)

5. Warcraft III: (Unforgettable characters, amazing story, and the best RTS ever)

4. Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (I know I said it's my favorite, but that's just my current favorite that isn't a classic)

3. Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (I love its story, and for the time, when it came out, it was truly amazing. I love it equally as much as Skyrim if not a little more)

2. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (God, so many Zelda games on this list. This one was so bittersweet and amazing...I just wished there was more in it. I wanted it to be as big as Ocarina, but nevertheless it was still unforgettable and fun.)

1. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Truly a Classic and the first game I ever owned on my N64. The greatest game ever produced my Nintendo...EVER!!!! I mean, between the amazing boss fights, awesome story...hell pretty much everything about it. I have beaten this game so many times that I literally could tell you where every single piece of heart and gold Skulltula is in the game. I mean I love it that much.

No game even comes close to the top 10 Hall of Fame Games, but a few worth mentioning that I love are Dragon Age Origins, Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, Diablo 2, Halo, Gears of War, God of War 2 (my favorite one in the series), Final Fantasy 7 (though I did recently play 10. Everybody tells me to try 13), Devil May Cry (Dante my man crush), and some other stuff I can't remember right now.

Top 10 Movies in my personal Hall of Fame:

10. Fight Club: It's just one of those movies that make you think. The message behind it is pretty intense, but still gives you a lot to think about.

9. American History X: (It's a really sad movie. It just illustrates so much how all of the prejudice and racism in the world is brought upon by ignorance and hatred. This movie represents one hundred percent how I feel about racism. That is, racism is nothing more than channeling hatred due to a lack of understanding. When Derek befriends the black guy in prison later on, you can see that when the two of them start to understand each other, their prejudices go away. However what happens to Derek's brother later on represents the sad reality that racial hatred is a never ending circle. The message I took away from it is the only way for racism to go away is to simply let go of hatred and be more empathetic to your fellow man. Stop blaming the other side and simply move on.

8. Terminator 2: (Back when James Cameron made awesome shit. I mean I liked Avatar, but they beat me to death with the Dances with Wolves plot. We get...Military bad; Trees good...this movie was just amazing and full of badass action.

7. Bladerunner: (Most of you are probably too young to know about this one...another 80s classic I love)

6. Braveheart: (Scotland, England, Wales, Ireland...yeah I obsess over anything to do with those places. This movie was fantastic)

5. Apocalypse Now: (Yeah, it's a long story...but I love war movies.)

4. Shawshank Redemption: (I love prison movies, but this one is just so good. You have to see this movie at some point in your life)

3 Lord of the Rings Trilogy: (I decided to just include trilogies and series together, though if you must know, the third one is clearly the best)

2. Highlander: Okay, I LOVE the Kurgan. Clancy Brown is my role model. The dude is simply amazing and that bone armor he was wearing at the beginning of the movie was orgasmic. Plus we can't forget all the amazing dialogue, "Happy Halloween, Ladies!" hahaha, This movie kicks serious ass.

1. Gladiator: *ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!* "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius..." So badass. This is my all time favorite movie ever. I have seen it more times than I can count and can quote the entire script. Personal favorite parts are the Battle in the beginning between the Roman Legion and the Barbarians (Visigoths I assume), and the parts in the colosseum. God, this movie...go watch it.

Animes I like: In no particular order. This isn't all of them, but the main ones that I could remember.

Naruto/Naruto Shippuden: Well if you've read my story, "Raining Darkness" then you know that I enjoy this show a lot.

Avatar the Last Airbender: I know it's not an anime, but I listed it anyways. Great show, great characters, great ending. Honestly I couldn't have asked for much more from it. I do however wish that Azula would have ended up with somebody and stopped being a lunatic, but oh well. Her voice actor is freaking everywhere I look it seems, I happen to love Grey DeLisle (I think that's her name) Sokka is the best part about the show though, because I found everything he said to be the most entertaining parts. The main thing I liked about this show was the fact that I liked everybody in it. Normally i find a few people to like and end up hating one or two of the main characters...but I actually liked the whole Gaang and all of their foes.

Dragon Ball Z: This is where shit was real...I couldn't wait to watch this show on tv every week for the new episode. Loved it a lot. Only things I found ridiculous were how Freiza(I spelled it wrong but whatever) sounded like a chick who smoked twenty packs a day, and how it took five episodes to make a spirit bomb. First time Goku goes Super Saiyan I thought his intestines were going to shoot out of his ass. I remember how badass Vegeta used to be...

Inuyasha: Super great show...I used to watch it on Adult Swim. Inuyasha is the shit. I did find some of it a bit dragged out, but overall it had lots of action and romance. I did not like Kagome at all...sorry if you disagree but she just made me want to stab her. Personally I think Inuyasha would be better suited with somebody else like Sango, Ayame, or some other older woman. Kikyo was pretty cool, though she got a bit whiny and boring for me. The wolf guy...forgot his name LOL...Kouga (I looked that shit up) is a fucking idiot for not liking Ayame...just felt like mentioning that. I never saw the ending of the show, because they kept fucking losing the stupid jewel shards...but yeah it had lots of cool villains as well. The bad guys with the large swords might be my favorites. No clue what their names were, but I enjoyed their badassery. Also Seshomaru was the shit. I only wish we could have seen Inuyasha's Ultra badass father in the show lol.

Full Metal Alchemist: Words can't describe how much my brother loved this show...I didn't even start watching it until he made me. It's a really good anime, and I find Edward to be awesome. Been ages since I've last seen an episode...they don't make animes this good anymore.

Pokemon: I used to LOVE Pokemon...and I mean everything Pokemon...the games, the show, the movies, the cards, and even the action figures...Damn Japs made a fortune off of me. I'm liked Pokemon almost as much as SMOSH does. That's saying something. Shit...I had more Pokemon merchandise than I would ever care to admit. Main thing about the show that bothered me was Brock never opened his eyes...the mother fucker. Also their were like 100 of those Nurse and cop chicks who all looked exactly alike...weird. My favorite pokemon would probably have to be (You'll never guess this) the nine tails. (LOL) Although honorable mentions would have to be Charizard, Suicuine, Mewtwo, and Rayquaza (I don't care if the spelling is wrong...I haven't played a pokemon game in years) I actually quit playing pokemon games right after I beat Ruby and Sapphire.

Yu-Gi-Oh: Cheesy, Lame, Overrated, and downright fucking outstanding. I had tons of the cards and I loved the show. My ten year old birthday party was a Yu-Gi-Oh Party...God I am a SUPER NERD Fucking blue eyed white dragon ftw? I had the ultra rare exodius (Or however you say it) cards. All five of them. I also had the three god cards. Ra, the red dragon thing, and the big blue guy. (Seriously can't remember their names) Don't ask me how I got all of those super rare cards...but I did make a lot of money selling them several years later. Funny how that works huh?

Gundam: Giant robotic battle suits fighting in space? C'mon what guy in their right mind wouldn't love that? I liked a lot of the Gundam Wing and Gundam Seed stuff.

Wolf's Rain: Kind of Sad but very entertaining. I liked the violence and the gore. My only regret for this show is I never got to see the ending...though that's a theme for a lot of these apparently.

.Hack//Sign: It was pretty interesting...I didn't get very far into the show, but I enjoyed the bits that I did see.

One Piece: It shames me to admit it, but I kind of did like the show. Although I wanted to shoot that one mother fucker every time he said, "I'm gonna be king of the pirates!" That got old really fast. Maybe ever faster than Naruto shouting, "Believe it!" That was just the shitty dub though. This show gets really good about fifty episodes in or so from what I hear.

Zoids: I MISS THIS FUCKING SHOW! It was so cool...I have no clue what happened to it, one day I was watching it on CN and then before I knew it the show was gone. :( It was really neat I thought. The giant animal robots fighting was just entertaining.

Ghost in the Shell SAC: Great show, I used to watch it a lot. The movie is good too. Personally though, I liked the soundtrack from this show the best. I didn't go out of my way to watch it, but If it was one T.V. I would sit through the entire episode lol.

Cowboy Bebop: Space bounty hunters...that alone makes it worth watching. I enjoyed the show, though honestly haven't seen much of it.

Okay so recently, I started watching some new shows. You know what's weird though? I never heard about the harem genre in anime until just recently. Like I feel really stupid because I thought that was something from this website lol. Anyways here's a few other shows I recently watched and liked.

To Love Ru: Okay, I was just thoroughly impressed with this anime. How have I been living my life all of these years without knowing about it?! Yuki Rito is the luckiest person to ever exist. I mean jesus, talk about a harem! I mean he's got like 15 girls! Crazy lucky bastard...but besides that, I just think it's a funny ass show.

True Tears: insensitive ass actually loved this show. I won't made me cry near the end. I know what you are thinking, 'Man what a bitch this guy is.' I don't even care. This show starts off a little slow, but damn did it suck me in.

High School DXD: GO WATCH THIS NOW! The sad thing is I don't even watch it for the Ecchi...I genuinely am interested in the story. I don't mind the fanservice, but the main thing I like about this show was its universe. I mean Issei gets to be a demon and fight angels and fallen angels with his school club. He's got this dragon inside of him too...I don't know why, but I think it's cool as hell.

Rosario Vampire: You people already think I'm a weird perv, so I won't even deny that I watched quite a few of these popular harem animes. To be honest though, I was like in love with Inner Moka the entire show. I mean don't get me wrong, I liked the other girls too, especially Mizore, but Inner Moka was like my anime dream girl. She made vampires hot again. Thank you Japan.

Campione: Okay, he's battling gods! Why does this one even need an explanation?

Freezing: It's the Untouchable Queen! I loved her. This show was pretty entertaining.

Zero no Tsukaima: Best confession ever in this anime!

School days: Okay, I actually hated this anime, but I liked the ending so much because I was just dying for Makoto to get what he deserved. He took the expression "Just fuck it" to a whole new level. This one is really depressing though. Please save yourself the time and heartache...don't watch it.

Other Shows I like: This is mainly the non-anime shows here that I love. I don't watch these on a regular basis, but a lot of them are shows I love to catch on T.V. and watch.

Game of Thrones: The HBO series based off of George Martin's book series "A song of Ice and Fire." This is one of the best shows I've ever seen and does a pretty good job in its portrayal of the book characters. I'm an absolute fanboy of any kind of fantasy franchise such as this. The show is very complex and and mature with lots of my favorite adult themes. My personal favorites from the show are Jon Snow, Daenerys Targayen, and of course Ned Stark. (I'm a die hard fan of Sean Bean.)

Stargate SG1: I love everything about this show. O'neill, Teal'c, Jackson, and Carter are the best crew ever. The Goa'uld are badass, and to be honest, this show makes a lot of sense to I could seriously believe that aliens pretended to be our old gods.

Oz: For those theat don't know, Oz is a prison drama that used to come on HBO at night. It is very graphic and shows lots of drugs, sex, nudity, and whatever else you can imagine in prison. Some people think I'm weird, but I love this show a lot. Despite the fact that it is essentially a male soap opera, the show is incredibly entertaining and downright hilarious.

Dexter: When I first heard about it I thought it sounded weird...but this is one kickass show. I love anti-heroes like Dexter. He kills Serial killers, but in the big picture, he is one himself. Very unique and awesome.

Spartacus Blood and Sand: Another man soap opera that comes on HBO, but this one is FUCKING AMAZING! There's a ton of blood, sex, and action going on in the show and I enjoy all of the characters. I also liked the new season that they made "Gods of the Arena" both were very good.

Star Trek Enterprise: I'm in love with T'Pol...hottest Vulcan ever!!! Not to mention, I think that Captain Archer and Commander Tucker are both complete badasses. In truth I love all of the Star Trek shows, but this one is probably my favorite...even more so than the original and The next generation. One of these years I'm going to dress up like a Vulcan and go to the big Trek Convention in Las Vegas...I'll ascend to a new level of Geek.

Merlin: The one that comes on the Sci Fi channel. Well it's actually a british show but for some odd reason they play it on the syfy channel in America...Sometimes I don't understand my country. Anyways, I know it is kind of a sappy kids show but I love it lol. Believe it or not, my mom actually got me into this one...I'll bet that makes me sound like a badass. The fact that I like shows like this is solid and irrefutable prove that I am a SUPER NERD!

Deadwood: I just love shows where they cuss so much that even I flinch from time to time at it. I mean this show says the word "Fuck" and "Cunt" more times than I can even remember. Maybe that's one of the reasons I am completely desensitized to profanity.


Rescue Me: I just love Tommy Gavin. He is the splitting image of my father. A total douche bag asshole who for some reason you just admire. This show is about a New York Fire Fighter Rescue Team and all of their drama. It's so ridiculous and funny though.

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho: Yeah I started watching Korean TV. One of my best friends is from South Korea...his family always makes me watch shit. It's a great show though. It goes well with Soju and a lot of meat!

Anime Pairings I Hate: Buckle your seat belt for this one...gonna be lots of character bashing...LOL

NaruSaku- First of all...I just can't stand Sakura in general. As far as I'm concerned she was a damn civilian until Tsunade taught her. She was so lame and uninteresting, and to top it off with the fact that she honestly did have a huge forehead. She was completely useless, always whined, and put down my boy Naruto...Second thing I want to mention is how she seems to abuse him physically and mentally. They aren't even in a relationship and she acts like she owns him...(Reminds me of my ex-girlfriend...the bitch). Another point I wanted to add is her rabid fangirl obsession with Sasuke...I don't know about you guys, but I've always preferred more mature girls when dating and not wild whining brats. I guess my opinion carries over seeing as how I find myself disgusted by the fact that Naruto lets himself be Sakura's doormat while she constantly tries to win over the "Cool Guy." Another thing worth mentioning is I hate the color pink...Sakura's hair is pink so by default I hated her before she even opened her mouth. Maybe I am being too hard on her, but I just can't stand her know it all attitude mixed with the fact that she thinks she is so great. Now I won't lie, I'll still read a NaruSaku if it is very well written or if she returns his feelings after he loses interest...though very few authors can pull it off. I don't know why some people feel so inclined to defend her. I had one person send me a super long email one time when I said that she was useless. It went on to talk about Sakura works hard and is one of the most powerful people in the show. I sent back...and I quote, "You and I have been watching a different Naruto then...Sakura is the lamest person in the show. She brings absolutely nothing unique to the table, she is boring and plain looking with the exception of her eyes, is a complete and utter bitch, wails like a siren, and to top it off won't ever shut up about Sasuke." Then I went on to explain how she feels the need to defend Sakura because maybe at one point in time she was very similar to Sakura, but never got the "cool guy" AKA Sasuke and is hopelessly obsessed with it so she can vicariously live out her high school fantasy in an anime character. Was I being a complete asshole? Yes I was...but Sakura is just not a cool character. If she wasn't a bitch I could find myself respecting her intelligence or dedication, but alas that's not the case. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard mixed with the sound of dying cat. I know it's the Canon pairing and that she will end up with Naruto in the end...that just makes me sad in the pants. It's just one of those things where you're wondering, "Why is he so stupid? At this point in the story you have so many more options Naruto...Sakura isn't the only girl in the world." I hate Naru/Saku SOOO much that'd I'd rather see him end up with Sasuke that Sakura...that's fucking saying something LOL. I would honestly drop to my knees and cry tears of joy if Naruto decided to hook up with somebody else. Sakura is just bleh...Naruto is so stupid...What's going through his head? She's a wailing, flat-chested, weak, bitchy, fugly control freak could have anybody Naruto, but no you want that...thing. It sickens me. All she can do is wail, "SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-KUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!" and complain. Despite what I think of Canon Sakura, I try to be open-minded when it comes to Fanfiction Sakura. So, if anybody likes a NaruSaku fic, try not to take too much offense to this...I'm just on a nasty rant. Although after saying all of that...I've gotta admit that Sakura has come around in the later parts of Shippuden and isn't much of a bitch anymore. My hatred for her is mostly directed towards Pre-Shippuden Sakura.

SasuSaku- OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHO DECIDED THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!? I can't stand the sight of them together...they are both completely different and I see no chemistry. Though of course all the fangirls and sadly fanboys will all write these fics because they probably have had an experience like this in their lifetime where they used to be unpopular and had a crush on the "Cool Guy" So to make up for the fact that they never managed to end up with him, they furiously defend SasuSaku with faulty logic and misunderstood lines. Like when Sasuke thanks Sakura before he leaves, everybody instantly assumes that means, "Sakura I've secretly been in love with you all along but I have to go so you won't get hurt. You're the most beautiful and wonderful person ever and even though i'm like twelve or thirteen I'm In Love with you." That's how that translates to fangirls...really I just can't stand Sakura with anybody...she needs to die alone in a hole like the bubblegum barbie bitch she is. Not only that, but Sasuke and romance just don't mix. He's either an arrogant overpowerred prick, or a whiny sentimental cocksucker...I personally don't like either direction. Sasuke in general I am a big fan of. Personally, I think Sasuke would have been a much better character if he was a girl. That's just my opinion though. The main reason I don't like this pairing is because I hate can send me all the hate mail in the world and tell me I'm a sexist asshole who puts people down or belittles their opinions but that's just too damn bad. Sakura doesn't deserve jack shit for the way she treats people...and for her to end up getting what she wants really just gets under my skin for some reason. Plus, I think Sasuke is too good for her. If Sasuke does end up with somebody, I'd like it to be somebody who isn't from Konoha. Karin would be one of the better choices, but personally I can't think of anyone he would work well with. I kind of have this feeling he'll end up dying and taking his greatest secret to the grave with him. That secret is that he is gay and in love with Naruto...let's face facts, Sasuke is most likely gay.

Sasuke x anybody else- He just doesn't mix with Romance...that's all there is to it. No amount of Yaoi, SasuSaku, or shitty fanfics in the world will change that. Although I would honestly prefer to read Sasuke Yaoi than SasuSaku fics...I don't like Yaoi at all, and I would personally prefer to read an entire fic about NaruSasu thant SasuSaku. Still though when I see fics with Sasuke and somebody like Hinata or Ino as his significant other I just laugh...Sasuke doesn't go well with girls, and I honestly think he is gay.

Sakura x anbody else- I want to shoot authors when I see stories with her and somebody fucking awesome like Itachi...or the Overpowered Sakura x Akatsuki stories... Stories where Sakura is suddenly made super powerful and then attracts the attention of the guy she used to like AKA Sasuke, but then she ends up liking somebody else like Itachi. Those stories are SOOOO FUCKING LAME! They are written by girls who wish that they could become popular overnight and again...want to Vicariously live out their fantasies in an anime character. You can go ahead and call me a hypocrite, but I just find those types of stories to be retarded. The show is called Naruto...not Sakura, not Sasuke, but NARUTO! *SIGH* Oh well, that was my main point there.

Side Pairings: I could care less about everybody in the fucking show hooking up with somebody else. When I see all this shit like SasuSaku, NaruHina, ShikaTema, ChoIno, NejTen, KakaKur, and IruAnko all advertised for one fucking fanfiction I am sitting here thinking...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! I mean honestly...They insist that everyone has to end up with somebody else, and that is the reason why a lot of the main Pairing Communites or whatever have developed on this sight and others...Personally, I won't read stories with a dozen side pairings because it just makes me think that shit is flying all over the place...I mean how am I gonna get into the emotions of a couple if the author is constantly jumping between different people? Not only that, but I don't care about the unimportant side character hooking up...I care about the protagonist of the damn show! The only exception is ATLA because they have a tight little group and it's understandable.

Pairings I Don't Care For...I don't hate these pairings, but I don't like them either:

NaruHina- Before I begin to rant on Hinata, I just want to mention that I do happen to like her. She is pretty, and with the pale white eyes and big boobs, I can understand her fan base and their need to defend her. She is a good character, but in the long run isn't that important sadly. I know that everyone loves Hinata, but I personally think she is boring and too timid. She doesn't get enough screen time and there is next to no mutual development between her and Naruto. So I highly doubt that it would ever be Canon, though I would like if it was Canon just because Saku-bitch isn't that special and everyone has to try and make her out to be amazing. One of my main issues with the pairing is she already likes Naruto and that makes it boring...I mean once he returns her feelings the story gets dry and uninteresting really fast. This pairing isn't bad if it can be well written. By well written I mean Naruto isn't a dumbass, Hinata is cool and talks a lot of shit to people...especially Sakura (Slap that Pink Bitch), and pretty much doesn't follow Canon. I hate Canon Naruto...FUCK YOU KISHIMOTO! Also, if there are no side pairings in it as well...FUCKING HATE SEEING NARU/HINA SASU/SAKA advertised fics...If you're reading this and you like those kinds of fics...FUCK YOU! I guess I just can't stand the main Canon pairings at all, but as far as Hinata goes, I would like if her personality was more aggressive and bitchy. If Hinata is really OOC and Naruto is a badass, and Sakura gets bashed the whole story then NaruHina is two thumbs up in my book.

Yaoi- I know it's a girl thing. Super popular among girls to see their favorite male characters paired off together...but honestly I just don't understand what the obsession with writing countless stories about Mpreg and boy x boy love is all about. I've read several Yaoi fics before and I don't mind them if they are written to be funny or if they don't contain lemons. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no issues with gay people. I don't have boundary issues with them at all, and I even have gay friends who I hang out with from time to time, so that removes any notion of me being homophobic. My main issue with Yaoi is the fact that there is WAY TOO MUCH of it. Hordes of rabid fangirls love to go pair off their favorite male characters and write countless Yaoi fics. Just like everything else, if there is too much quantity, then the quality goes down. Lots of these Yaoi fics are completely stupid stories and were most likely written by some 13 year old fangirl...that's why I dislike Yaoi. The fangirls have gone crazy with it and flooded this website with shitty Yaoi fics.

Inuyasha x Kagome- I don't know...I mean I just never really fancied it. I was always rooting for Inuyasha to hook up with a demon babe...but alas, that couldn't be so.

My 10 least favorite Naruto characters:

1. Tenten- Believe it or not folks, I actually hate somebody more than Sakura...Tenten is the most useless person in the entire series. What the hell is her specialty again? Throwing weapons?! Oooh I'm so impressed. Not like almost every high ranking ninja can avoid or repel those effortlessly. She is so stupid and weak that it's actually kind of funny. I mean compare her to Team Gai...Neji is a Hyuuga prodigy, Lee is a taijutsu master, and Gai is a well rounded powerful jounin primarily experienced in Taijutsu. Compared to them, Tenten is complete and utter shit. Besides the obvious reasons for hating her such as she is useless and weak...I also can't stand her because she is "Cute" Her stupid ass hair buns make me want to set her on fire. Obviously, she was put into the show for the purpose of being a secondary character...but what really takes the cake for me is when I see entire episodes devoted to how she gets some bomb or new weapon...who gives a fuck.

2. Shikamaru- I'm sorry if you disagree, but this needs to be said. Shikamaru is a dipshit...the whole lazy genius thing is retarded and I hate the way he looks and his condescending attitude about everything. The main reason I hate him is because he's the faggot that "Killed" Hidan. He becomes even gayer after that and suddenly thinks he's a badass by smoking...go fuck yourself sideways you lame douche bag. I never liked Shikamaru and I never will.

3. Karin- I bumped Sasuke out of the bottom ten when I remembered this dumb whore...I can't stand Karin. She is a disgrace to red heads everywhere. I used to think that nobody could be more useless than Tenten...until the day I saw Karin. She has the lamest powers and is just plain annoying. She dresses like a slut and the whole sexy librarian look she is trying to pull off just makes me gag. Not only that, but she is a bitch to Juugo and Suigetsu who are actually halfway decent guys...especially Juugo, I think he's cool. I was so happy when Sasuke tossed Karin aside LOL...serves her right for being a dumb bitch.

4. Sakura- "SAAASSSUKE-KUUUN!!!!" That essentially sums up the only thing Sakura even says in Part 1. If you have read my entire profile up to this point, then you already know why I don't like Sakura. If you're lazy and didn't do it, I'll sum up my opinion of her in three words, "Annoying useless fangirl" Although I like Shippuden Sakura a lot better...Still though I was pissed when she and Grandma Chiyo beat Sasori. If that old woman wasn't there, Sasori would have murdered Sakura so easily...

5. Konohamaru- I know he's just a little kid, but damn does he get annoying. I just find myself laughing everytime he tells Naruto that they'll "Battle for the title of Hokage" one day...Yeah I don't hate the kid, but he just gets on my nerves. Let's look at him doing a Rasengan on Naraka Pein during the invasion for starters...was that really necessary? *Sigh*

6. Sai- He's gay in every way. I mean literally gay...metaphorically looking...acts gay...yeah and that shirt he wears is homo-erotic. Something about him rubs me the wrong way...and not in the way you're thinking. Sai is just another annoying character that I tend to skip past when watching Naruto shippuden. Although my main issue with Sai is the fact that he is bland and annoying. I mean I just have zero interest in any of his scenes and his character in general. Plus his smile makes me hate him.

7. Kabuto- Four eyes here gets on my nerves...I am so fucking ready for Orochimaru to take over his body because I can't stand Kabuto. The way the light always reflects off of his glasses annoys me to no end. Not only that, but they're round and shit. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Harry Potter?!

8. Filler Characters- They're all exactly the same...that's my main issue with filler characters. The reason I listed this is because once you've seen one filler character, you've seen them all.

9. Ino- She's cute and all, but she never really improves that much throughout the show. Not to mention, she's always in Sakura's shadow. My problem with her is the fact that she is too weak and a Sasuke fangirl. Kishimoto should have amped up some of the other female characters besides Sakura.

10. Hinata- I hate the stuttering, I hate the shy girl personality, and most of all I hate the fact that Hinata is way too timid. Now don't get me wrong, because I do like Hinata, but her cons outweigh the pros in my opinion. Hinata's voice is soooo irritating...she's like the Tali of Naruto. I only like Hinata when she is completely out of character, or if she develops a backbone and starts acting like a damn Hyuuga. Some people think her shyness is cute, but I think that it is overrated and just plain annoying. If she had a crush on Naruto for ten years, why didn't she just fucking say something?! *Sigh* I also hate the Hinata fanbase, because they are almost as bad as the Itachi fanboys. Still though, Hinata has the potential to be a good character, but 9/10 authors who write her in a story just suck and milk cliche plot elements dry. Personally, I would absolutely love to see Hinata grow out of her timid shy girl phase, but I'm not holding my breath. Something else worth mentioning...I think Hinata's sister is way fucking better than her at everything. Hanabi is better looking and is probably going to be way stronger than Hinata. Not only that, but Hanabi is an accurate portrayal of a non-shy Hinata...which is two thumbs up in my book.

My Views on Controversial Topics:

Gay Marriage: I think that they should allow gays to marry. I am not religious so that argument about sin and homosexuality doesn't even cross my mind. I don't see what the big deal about Gay marriage is anyways...I mean some people just Hate when traditions are broken...but marriage is a tradition that was tied to the church a long time ago, and is just another bit of ground that they are afraid to give up because they fear it will further denounce their dying religion. (BUT WAIT SEAN! Christianity is alive and well! Maybe it is to you...) I say let the gays get married. Don't let something as unimportant as religion be the main argument against it. Homosexuality isn't a big deal and I don't see why some people have to make it a big deal. I'm not gay, but even if I was would it really matter? Marriage isn't really that important nowadays anyways...considering how high the divorce rate is...of course that's because most people want to go off and marry their high school sweetheart and then four years later they realize that they hate each other. I honestly never liked how the government and the media try to stir up so much shit about things like this.

Abortion: I don't support abortion...I know that all of the liberal people say it's the woman's body and it's her choice, but that's a load of horseshit. As soon as she got pregnant she is now responsible for another person's life. I'm not a woman so I wouldn't really know, but nevertheless I feel that it is completely immoral to kill a Fetus just because the woman was dumb and didn't use protection or birth control...Now there are certain cases that I am lenient about. If a woman is raped, If she is in high school, if the baby is deformed in anyway, and if it will completely ruin her career and life. Although that in way means that I am somewhat supportive of abortion. So in a technical sense I am on the fence with this topic. I don't think it should be used as a form of birth control, but it seems very distasteful to cheat a baby out of its life.

Politics: I've pretty much just gotten over it now. I don't want any part of whatever the hell Obama is trying to do over here. Fuck it, I'm probably going to move to Canada or something before this is all over. Might as well since half of my video game friends are from there.

Religion: Live and Let live people...I don't care if you're a christian, jew, muslim, pagan, atheist, or whatever else...just don't force your ideals on me. To be honest though, I love polytheistic religions in history. I find them quite fascinating. The ancient greeks and norse pantheons were awesome, and Hinduism is also pretty interesting. Personally, I like to apply religious ideals to my life, but I don't literally care for praying and all that stuff. The ultimate principle behind most religions is "Don't be a dick" In other words, treat other people the way you want to be treated and live an honest life. I don't need to dedicate my life and free time to live by that principle.

Fanfiction Rant Section: As if I don't have enough hatred on this profile already, I've decided to create a personal rant section where I can point out all of the things that should not belong on this website. This was inspired by Sigfried27's Rants...He's my personal hero on this website and a lot of my opinions are direct products of his rants. If you would like to read them go read his story "Shadow Fox" or his profile. I feel that they need to be expressed on my profile. Just to repeat myself...Some of these are Sigfried27's rants with my personal commentary mixed in. I italicized his writing.

High School Fics: Ok first of all...what the hell is up with this?! Who decided that this was a good idea?! Why do some people decide to take all of the characters from Naruto and put them in a high school environment completely stripping their powers and personalities? Oh I know! because some fourteen year old fangirl/fanboy decided that they wanted to recreate their own high school experiences with anime characters. Who sat there and decided, "Hey, I've got all these characters living in a cool ninja world with ninja abilities, what could be better…I know! Let's take away all there powers and put them in high school so that instead of going through amazing life threatening adventures, they reenact all of the high school angst and depression that I go through. The would be so much better than ninja fighting. What kind of half witted idiots are writing these things. I don't care about your high school experiences reenacted through the Naruto characters. This is an anime, not damn Dawson's creek. Now I won't lie...I'll occasionally read one out of curiosity or even for a quick laugh, but I just can't fathom why people enjoy these so much. Even worse is when they combine high school fics with I get to read all about how Sasuke is the cool kid and how Naruto is the new guy who he secretly likes or some other nonsense like that. I swear I even saw one where Sasuke and Gaara were both gang leaders in different high schools and they fought over Naruto. I mean wow...can anything properly describe that? The worst of the high school fics is when I see it written about Sakura...Oh my fucking god... In the Sakura fics, it is normally about how she is an average girl at the school who secretly likes the "cool guy" in most cases it is Sasuke, Itachi, or some other "Kawaii guy"(no clue if i spelled it right...) These fics are the one of the ULTIMATE forms of vicarious high school fantasies. The people that write them are most likely trying to live out their high school fantasies through Sakura...I don't want to hate on them, but there comes a point where I have to draw the line.

High School Fics Extension: I think I finally understand where all of this high school crap comes from...because 99 percent of animes take place in high school! Haha, oh well. I don't mind it if they have cool powers and shit, but don't turn a shonen into a high school I don't want to see the cast of Naruto in high school.

Yaoi/Yuri: Two thirds of the fics on this website are Yaoi...that just doesn't seem right to me. Hordes upon hordes of teenage fanfirls will just write these stories. I don't care that Yaoi is a story about gay relationships...I mean I don't feel uncomfortable around gay peope in the slightest. I even don't care if gay people hit on me or show public affection towards each main issue with Yaoi is the fact that the fangirls have gone crazy with it. They think it's cute to pair up their favorite male characters and literally turn the entire male cast gay. I guess that's one way to stop overpopulation. I have read several Yaoi fics before...Now before anybody flies off the handle and gives me weird looks, I just want to mention that some of them can be well written and even entertaining. The ones that are written to be funny are good...but when I see a fucking high school Yaoi fic, I just facepalm. Although just like NaruSaku fics and NaruHina fics...Good Yaoi fics are a needle in a haystack. Now let's move on to Yuri...I just don't understand the fascination with watching two women together. Some guys love it, but It doesn't really do anything for me. I dont' mind reading stories where there's a bisexual encounter between two women or something along those lines, but two women together is rather boring in my opinion. Not that I discourage that to people who do like it, but that's just my opinion. The honorable exception to Yuri fics is Anko...she goes great with women as well as men.

Crossover Fics: Sigfried27 explains my opinion on crossovers perfectly

Yes, now we step into territory that involves more of my readers, because I look through the profiles of my reviewers and see their favorite stories (so I know when you haven't put me on your favorite story list, so get to it) and see that some like crossovers, and many like Harry Potter. I happen to like neither, and in the interest of being unbiased, I'll now rant against these too.

Now this type of fic can't be blamed solely on the fangirls, as any random idiot can think that a crossover is a good idea. They think "Hey, you know what would be original, I should take these two shows/books/games that I like and just combine them into one story, that would be cool and original." Well I hate to break it to you, but it is not. One, because people always choose the same shows/books to combine with it (Inuyasha, Harry Potter, and now an increasing number of Full Metal Alchemist.) and Two, it is not cool, it is just combining two stories, there is nothing original about it, you are just putting one shows cast in another shows story where they don't even fit right.

First off, we have the Harry Potter crossovers. Now personally, I just don't like Harry Potter, and so I don't want to spend my time reading a crossover fic with Naruto, which I do like. Honestly, why would people combine Harry Potter characters with Naruto characters. Harry Potter characters are crappy wizards who can probably make a small lightning bolt if and only if they have their magic wand. Naruto characters can make giant dragons out of fire, in addition to various other ninja skills, all with the use of their bare hands. Seriously, it is no contest, putting the two together is just stupid.

Secondly, we have the Inuyasha crossovers. These idiots tend to think "Wait a second…Inuyasha is a half-demon…Naruto has a fox demon sealed inside of him…Shippo is a fox… HOLY HELL, THEIR THE EXACT SAME!" The fact of the matter is that they are rather different, one focusing on the battles between people using a ninja style, the other focusing on fights between demons in a more samurai like environment. The styles just don't mesh, that is how it goes.

The fact of the matter is, I am just not a supporter of crossovers because frequently it is someone just combining two stories thinking that makes it an original story when it is not. Each story should be left on its own, not involved with others that are completely different. Truer words were never spoken my sensei...

Crack Fics: Why do people do this? I mean what the hell is the point of writing a story where Sasuke is turned into a cat? Does this need any further analysis? All I can say is these fics are ridiculous and downright annoying to scroll through. I can understand that some people may write them to be funny or something, but when they write it in a serious tone and I see that it has more reviews than my own story which I actually tried to put effort into writing...I just don't know what to say. These stories are a complete waste of time and space in my opinion.

Excessive Character Bashing: I am fairly guilty when it comes to this rant, but It is worth mentioning. A lot of fics will completely bash Team 7 or the village council...Now I'm not going to give anybody shit for doing this because I've done it myself on multiple occasions and most of the stories I read have character bashing in them. The main thing I wanted to mention here is don't bash things without a good reason. I don't want to be a hypocrite or anything, but bashing doesn't work well unless it has a valid reason.

Sleepover/Truth or Dare Fics: Sigfried27 sums this up better than I can

For the love of all things holy I am sick of looking through the new stories and updates, only to find a bunch of stories about the kunoichi having a sleepover that the boys decide to crash, or the Naruto gang playing a game of truth or dare. And people wonder why I have so much against fangirls. If you are going to write a story, try to think up something with a plot and action, romance, or both, not a crappy sleepover story. To add to this...what is the point of even writing one of these? I mean you have got to be insanely bored for something like this to even cross your mind.

The Drunk Hater/Village Mobs: This is the stereotypical image of the drunk guy who calls Naruto a demon brat in most stories and nearly beats him to death. These are okay in some stories, but it is WAY TOO OVERDONE! I mean it is simply ridiculous if you think about it...a lot of these stories will have mobs of people stab, beat, and mutilate little six year old Naruto...For the love of god!!! What's even worse is when Naruto is rescued by some mysterious Super OC...which brings me to my next rant.

Super OC: Nobody knows who the fuck this guy is...but he's apparently friends with everybody from Akatsuki, the third Hokage, and some other important people. The Super OC is the character that normally tends to rescue Naruto and train him from a young age to become strong...often from the Drunk Hater/Village Mob. He is the most powerful character in the entire story and has the strength to battle five kages and all of Akatsuki simultaneously...I don't mind having a powerful OC character in a story, but when he's more powerful than anybody in the entire Naruto universe, then what the hell would be the point of him training Naruto??! Super OC also seems to know everything about every villain in the story too but he doesn't do shit about if Super OC is a bad guy then I can understand, but in most cases he is just a veiled self-inserted image the author wishes he could be. My favorite part is when Super OC is gets his own Harem...WTF!?! This is the ultimate form of a guy's vicarious fantasy. Super OC is also another cliche plot element that is completely over used...and to be quite honest I am tired of seeing.

Female Kyuubi: When this idea first came out several years ago I thought it was awesome...but as time progressed, the quality of Female Kyuubi stories have vastly degenerated. I'll just name a few cliche things that I see in EVERY SINGLE fic I read about now...The first one is how Kyuubi is actually good and feels repentant about what she has done. Okay time out here! Kyuubi is a gigantic fox demon...last time I checked "DEMON" meant it wasn't a good thing. Second thing that drives me crazy is the motherly role for Kyuubi...I mean seriously wtf?! I don't even have an explanation for that one, I just wanted to mention that I don't care for it in the slightest. Third main thing that I can't stand seeing in Female Kyuubi fics is Kyuubi being released from Naruto's body. I know that it may seem somewhat instumental to unseal her, but then Naruto isn't a jinchuuriki anymore...I just don't care for those. Now it is very hard to describe what I look for in a FemKyuubi fic, but I like it when Kyuubi turns out to be a vixen but has more of a mental relationship with Naruto. It seems more intimate to me, but that's just my opinion.

Hinata has really been powerful all along, but has simply been to timid to show it: No...just no. It continues to amaze me how people come to conclusions like this literally based off nothing. Here's what my icon Sigfried27 had to say about it:

Ok, I'll admit that I am biased because I don't like "cute" characters, which partially stems my hatred of common pairings, but that's another issue. Again, this is an issue that I don't really care about if the author describes it, talking about how she has trained or what not, an example of which being the explenation of Hinata's strength in the story "The ice princess of Konoha." However, many people just say that Hinata has always been strong, but was just to timid to show it before. Their reasoning for this is Hinata's fight with Neji. The truth of the matter is that let's face it people, Hinata's fight with Neji doesn't prove shit. It shows that Hinata can take a beating...which is all well and good, but entirely useless if she can't manage to land a single blow on him throughout the whole fight. To use that as a basis to suddenly claim that she has been very powerful all along is ridiculous. Again, this is an issue that I don't mind if it is explained, but most people don't.

Somebody besides Naruto has Kyuubi sealed within them: Yeah won't ever find me reading one of those.

Self Insertion Fics: Does this even need an explanation?! They all suck and I hate them. Nobody wants to read about how you get sucked into the Naruto universe and magically become pretty and powerful...Let's see what Sigfried has to say about it...

To fangirls who have written a self insertion…this one is brutal, you might want to avoid it. You've been warned. Anyway, to put it simply, self insertion fics are a load of crap.(and damn it, the name just sounds dirty.) And once again, my blame falls on the fangirls. To try to put this with as much tact as I can manage, The fangirls who write self insertion fics…..well, they are unpopular and most likely not very attractive. In real life, life sucks for them, they want to be pretty and popular, but they're not. It may even go so far as to them being ridiculed by others. So what do they do about it…they decide that writing a self insertion fic will make them feel better. They write a story where they get sucked into the world of their favorite fiction (in this case Naruto) where they are the most beautiful girl that anyone has ever seen and they are incredibly powerful that no one can stand before their might, and all the boys like her, but she chooses whichever is her favorite and writes about how he instantly loves her and her strength and they are both happy together.

Could there possibly be anything worse than this crap you might ask? Why yes there is. When the fangirl gets with a group of her friends in the same boat and write a "3 girls get sucked into the Naruto universe" fic. You take all that was bad about the single fangirl self insertion, and you triple it. So let this message be known here and now: Writing a self insertion fic is not going to make your life any better, go out and do something about it instead of writing a load of crap that nobody wants to read, you are wasting both your time and the time of everyone searching through the load of your crappy self insertion fics to find a story that is actually good.

And with that brutally said, it is time to write the majority of self insertion fics. Once there was a girl named (insert name here). She lived an unhappy life in the real world. She was homely and unpopular. She so wanted to be pretty and popular. She only had two friends, and these friends were just like her. One day, the three of them went to her house and while they were watching Naruto, they were magically sucked into the T.V. and transported into the world of Naruto.

"Hey, where are we?"

"I think that we are in the world of Naruto."

"Wow, we have suddenly gotten really strong. Look, I already know how to use just about every jutsu."

"Hey your right, we already know all of the jutsu."


"Your right."

Suddenly, (insert the favorite boys of the authoresses) appears in the clearing in which they have landed.

"Wow, that girl sure is beautiful and strong."

"So is that one."

"I think that we are all suddenly in love with these strange girls who have just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They can't be spies or anything, so lets take them back to become Konoha ninjas."

Girls : "Hooray!"

And so the girls followed their favorite male ninjas back to Konoha. In the following week, they would kill Orochimaru and all of the Akatsuki members with their incredible innate power upon arriving in the Naruto world, because obviously when they were pulled through their T.V., they gain power that all of the real ninja spend their whole life perfecting, but that doesn't matter now does it. Anyway, the ninja that found them profess their newfound love to these complete strangers and the girls say that they love them in return. The girls are much happier in this load of crap fantasy than the real world, so they never search for a way back, they just live out their days as the "beautiful goddesses of the Naruto world."

The End.

This guy is a fucking genius...Sigfried27 is my favorite author on this website and I agree whole-heartedly with everything he says. Everyone take a moment to appreciate the ultimate basher...

Things I Hate: This is where my profile gets nasty, don't read past here if you can't handle severe profanity and my opinions

I hate Justin Beiber with a burning passion...see comments about the fucking bowl head chode on every youtube video's comments...It's even more annoying than Chuck Norris shit...though at least Chuck Norris is cool.

I hate people who beg for thumbs up on their youtube comments

I hate shitty remakes of awesome old movies

I hate people who think they're better than me...Two words...FUCK YOU! Anybody who thinks they have the balls to act all condescending towards me needs to go die in a fire.

I hate rich housewives...if you watch Basketball Wives, Real Housewives of Orange County, or Desperate Housewives, you will never want to get married!!! I swear...if I ever become rich, I won't let some gold digging Cunt bleed my fucking wallet dry for BULLSHIT just so she can live lavishly and pretend she's fucking important...I want these people to die horribe horribe deaths. I'm sorry, but they are beyond the point of redemption.

I hate New Jersey...That place needs to be bombed into ashes...why couldn't the terrorists have done us a favor by blowing up that piece of shit state from the face of the fucking planet...I HATE Jersey Shore...I HATE Real Housewives of New Jersey...and most of all I HATE Jersey accents. Stop trying to act hard to stupid fucking skank!!! Though I did know one guy from there that was cool...but that's like a needle in haystack there.

I hate Twilight...I hate Team Edward I hate Team Jacob I hate the chick who plays Bella in Twilight! I hate the whole emo pussy vampire shit it supports...I mean vampires are fucking undead. There is nothing sexy about them. The only sexy vampire is Molag Bal because of that voice. Not only that but Twilight is just some watered down horse shit about some girl's fantasy of the "mysterious guy" who turns out to be a vampire but then fights off the other "tough guy" who likes her...Twilight has destroyed vampires for me forever...I used to think they were kind of cool, but not anymore. The only vampire I'll ever love is Akashiya Moka-san!

I hate stupid people...I mean I really don't like them. How can somebody make the same mistakes over and over again and never learn from it? If you have a mental disability than I can sympathize with you, but if you're gonna go off and act like an idiot 24/7 for no reason whatsoever than you need a reality check.

I hate arrogant people...I'm talking about the stick weasel pussies who think they are MMA fighters but really have never gotten into a fight in their lives. I mean when some dude who weighs 110 pounds wants to fight me...and he has sticks for arms and legs, then I just laugh. I know tons of skinny guys who are tough and strong, but when somebody with no muscle density whatsoever says he's stronger than me I just want to knock his ass back down to reality. Reminds me of when I played middle linebacker i would always spear the guys they had trying out for QB. Most of them looked like they were too skinny to be playing Soccer, let alone American Football.

I hate when people try and play the race card on me: Like I said...racism is never going to go away until everybody shuts up about it and lets it go. I don't owe anybody for anything my ancestors might have done.

I hate Liars...This includes people who won't come out and say something to you and will talk shit behind your back. It's one thing if you're telling your friend you don't like a certain person, but it's another if you go around spreading rumors or inventing bullshit and telling EVERYBODY except the person you're talking shit about.

I hate when little kids try to act know those little bastards that hit their parents and throw rocks at my car. I had to beat some kid up for that one time...

I hate cigarettes...I don't understand why people willingly smoke tobacco in today's age when we all know about lung cancer and all that shit. I swear I see fucking people in the Nursing programs at my college who smoke...I mean dude WTF?! They should be the first people to know how fucking bad it is for them...again I hate stupid people. Hell whatever...if they want to deal with all that shit twenty or thirty years down the road just so they can look "cool" today then more power to them. Just don't ever blow that shit in my face...

I hate ALL female country singers...every last one of those fucking hillbilly banshee bitches...UGGHHH I hate the way they sound...I hate the way they look...I hate their god damn cowgirl boots...Go die Shania Twain, Carrie Underwood, whoever the fuck else from American Cock up your Ass Idol. At least Simon Cowel will tell people they straight up suck...It's no wonder the rest of the world thinks America is full of retards when they watch shit like American Idol and see how utterly fail some of these bitches are. "NO YOU Don't understand Simon, this is my dream!"

"Sorry darling, but this one is never going to come true." - Simon Cowell was the only reason I ever watched that show because I enjoyed watching him put stupid idiots in denial down on their asses.

I hate people who drive like shit...examples include: Every teenage girl on the planet...every person who lives where I live. And for fuck's sake is it that hard to use your turning signal?!?!

I hate white liars...Don't bullshit me

I hate Politics...I live in America so you already know why.

I hate unintentional bad characters: Like I'll just name a few here...Carmen from Starship Troopers, Merrill from Dragon Age 2, Kagome, Sakura, Skyler from breaking bad, and the list goes on forever...

I hate Chewing Tobacco...My dad did that shit and it was disgusting. Then I would see people in high school who would brag about it...WOW YOU'RE SO COOL! NOT! It's just depressing how everybody at my school was the legitimate stereotype of a redneck. Everyone was either a hillbilly redneck or a gangsta thug. Mississippi is a horrible boring state. Don't ever come're not missing anything.

I hate Thugs and Gangstas...You aren't a badass, so stop trying to be. I am saying this to all the white and asian people too, not just the blacks. There is nothing glamorous about selling crack, shooting people, and stealing for a living. It's just fucking ridiculous how these people will all go, "Yeah...well this is how I is cracker fool." I just fucking tell them, "Pull your pants up jackass and stop speaking ebonics...I can't understand that shit!" I try to be tolerant of other people's cultures, but when some 15 year old black kid tells me he's "Hard" or that he's an "Original Gangter" I just want to tell him what a stupid piece of shit he is...Your mom still drives you to school and buys your lunch, so I hardly doubt that you're as cool as you think you are.

I hate when you have one friend who brings their girlfriend to a dude party...I mean that's just a mood killer right there.

I hate people who bully others for no reason...

I hate when people threaten you but then they turn out to be complete pussies when you stand up to them. I mean wtf?

I hate people who exploit the economy/My tax dollars...I am talking about the stupid assholes who get government aid and spend their money on bullshit. I saw this one bitch at a gas station that drives a $ 50,000 car and she still gets food stamps...this happened a while back. I mean she just spent her food stamps money on fucking candy in a gas station and drove away in her fucking blinged out Mercedez...Meanwhile, I am part of the working poor class where we can barely afford anything after all the bills are paid. My mother was a casino dealer, and she would tell me about all of these jackasses who walked in there with rolls of hundred dollar bills because they don't have to pay for their food or anywhere near as much as we do for their housing in nice apartments. I can't express how much I hate that. That's just a main example I remembered...I could rant about this all day.

I hate shy girls...I'm sorry to say this, but they just tend to be annoying. They are cute in animes, but in real life I they are annoying. I can't stand it if I have to take all the steps in the relationship...If she likes me she should just come out and say it. I knew this one girl once who was the daughter of my mom's friend...she apparently had a crush on me. Though the problem was she would never say anything to me, make an effort to become my friend, or even give me obvious signs. It annoyed me how she apparently got upset because I started to date somebody. I mean WTF?! If you like me just come out and say it. Although girls have to make everything a fucking stupid.

I hate matchmakers...enough said.

I hate terrible hair cuts...anything faddish or retarded.

I hate people that drive gigantic trucks: Okay for fuck's sake, John Deere...why the hell does your truck need to be ten feet off the ground with monster truck wheels and a bird whacker on it. It reminds me of those RC toys every time I see them. This is mostly a redneck thing...fuck I hate these illiterate idiots. As far as trucks go...there is no reason to own one unless you either A. Work on a farm. B. Have a physical labor job that requires you to transport equipment that is unsuitable for the interior of a car. C. You need it to pull a trailer or something. What really gets me though is when these god damn sixteen year old redneck girls get trucks and can't fucking drive worth a shit.

I hate people who constantly text on their phones while at the gym: This one really irritates me to the point of Neurosis. I loathe the sight of people holding up all the treadmills and work out machines as they sit their or walk slowly and text. LISTEN HERE YOU FAT FUCKING BITCH! THIS IS A GYM NOT YOUR SOCIAL HOUR! PUT THE PHONE AWAY AND WORK OUT! That's the reason why they're still fat year after year because they lack willpower and discipline to actually work out. Fuck those lazy cunts.

I hate Fraternity kids: Grow up you pussies, this is college, not high school.

I hate when people treat cops like shit: They are just doing their jobs. Of course there are bad cops in every city in every country, but that shouldn't be the foundation of one's judgement. I have always had respect for people like cops and firefighters who believe in civil duty and protecting their communities. I don't know what it's like in other parts of the country or even around the world...but I do know that their job isn't easy; especially since people nowadays are so petty and cruel with a sickening amount of self-worth. Try and be more empathetic.

I hate when you see people that drive super shitty cars or trucks with expensive chrome rims on them: I think it looks stupid...I especially hate 22's because they look ridiculous on cars. I guess the people that do this are just showboating cocksuckers that have no sense of self worth so they act like conceited dipshits for attention.

I hate Nascar: You know what would be a great idea?! IF WE DROVE IN A CIRCLE FOR FOUR HOURS AND WASTED A WHOLE BUNCH OF GAS! Racing in general is just not my thing. People down here like it religiously. "AND ANOTHER LEFT TURN!" Hell every lap might as well be a touch down or a goal for them. At least in Europe they have winding tracks so the drivers occasionally turn right.

I hate MMO video games: After seeing the announcement for Elder Scrolls Online I wanted to throw up. It's a shame that every single big gaming company or franchise eventually ends up going mainstream or selling out. I am so sick of everybody trying to copy WOW and make MMO's. I mean bethesda was really the only big RPG gaming company left that hadn't attempted an MMO. The whole point about Elder Scrolls is that your main character's actions play a significant role in the story. You aren't just "A hero" You are "THE HERO." I don't know why anybody would want Elder Scrolls to be multiplayer. OH wait yes I do...because some people are fucking dipshit retards and want to play games where they can PWN people or show off because they are worthless fucks. These people barely give a shit about the Lore of the story and that's what leads to the lack of innovation or effort from the companies that make them. Then they get mainstreamed and a bunch of 12 year old squealing twats start to play and completely ruin the community of the game.

I HATE Social Media: I could rant for days about how much I hate Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram, and all that stupid bullshit...but take my word for it. It has ruined my faith in humanity. #does not give a fuck about your life #I think this hashtag bullshit is stupid. I keep a facebook so I can keep in touch with my friends...but I have no desire to hear about every action of your day people. I don't care about your relationship status and fuck knows what else.

Things I don't understand:

Why on earth would anybody leave Europe to live in the Southern United States? There is nothing down here! Hell for that matter, I am surprised by the number of foreign people who live around here. I mean I can understand why you would want to live in New York or California...hell maybe even a major city, but why here?

Why do women only hit on me when I'm already in a relationship? Makes no sense to me...

Why are hot dogs in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8? I guess the other two hot dogs are just fucked...

How did Twilight ever get published? Okay I've been thinking this for years. Twilight is a a published fanfiction.

Why are shitbags like Miley Cyrus, One Direction, and Justin Bieber famous?

Things I love:

Cosplay!@@!: Okay, I just love dressing up as anime or video game characters and going to cons. My first one ever was Dragon Con in Atlanta a few years ago. Let me tell you...Comic Cons are the greatest places on earth. It's so amazing seeing all of my fellow Otakus there dressed up and obsessing over our favorite stuff. So wonderful. In case you're curious, I've cosplayed as quite a few things. I've gone as Oni Link, A Viking, Sesshomaru (Nearly got raped), Commander Shepard, and right now I'm working on making a Necromonger costume like Vaako from Chronicles of Riddick. *I Love Karl Urban*

I love red headed women...They say most guys like women similar to their mothers. Well my mom is a red head, and she's so fucking awesome that it makes me like all red heads upon first impression.

I love green eyes...Sexy as hell. Green eyes are more attractive than blue in my opinion. Though I like blue as well. My grandpa had some light green eyes that were the best I've ever seen. Shame I didn't get those. Hell my father and his parents were from Ireland and he had blue eyes. The fuck happened genetics? Oh well, I'm thankful mine work at least.

I love big boobs...Yes it may sound perverted, but I'm a guy and that's my preference...Although anything above double D is a little extreme. Now when I say big, I'm not talking about the balloon, I just like when they are natural and proportionate. This isn't really that important to me, but I don't like to date flat-chested girls. Granted I'll gladly make an exception for any kind of acrobatic girl since their legs and ass more than make up for it.

I love Fishing...It's a southern thing, but down here in Mississippi people love it. I don't do it very often, but it is always fun to go out and fish on a nice day. I swear I've lived here too long...these people are trying to assimilate me!

I love guns...Yes I am crazy, but I own several firearms. My .357 revolver is my favorite. My grandpa was some vietnam war hero so he's got a ton of weapons that he just gave me...Don't think that about me. I don't intend on killing anybody...unless they give me a reason.

I love building things...ever since I was a kid I enjoyed playing with legos or taking stuff apart and all that good stuff. Maybe I was a crafter in a previous life, who knows...

I love Comic Con...If you're a nerdy geek like me then make sure going to comic con is on your bucket list. I can't even describe how amazing it is. Everybody is all dressed up and awesome as you go from panel to panel and meet cool people and buy geeky merchandise. What you want to sell me Triforce hat? I'll take it! Oh a thor's hammer necklace? I'll take it! A poster of Dovahkiin? I'll take two! A dragon chalice? FUCK YEAH! A hotel room with an awesome hot chick dressed as wonder woman? Priceless...well you get the idea.

I love Youtube...It is the best website ever! I always listen to music or watch some of my favorite channels which include:

Smosh/IanH: Ian and Anthony are awesome and hilarious.

NicePeter/ERB: The Epic Rap battles of history. These are super funny.

CardgamesFTW/LittleKuriboh/Ninjabridge: This guy does the abridged series for Yugioh which is insanely funny. Go look it up if you haven't seen it already. He also has tons of other hilarious shit, and of course he is British. Damn it, I wish I could live in the U.K. but it's super hard to get a job in the there if you're out of country (and you're technically not supposed to look for one if you're visiting on vacation.) I guess I could move to Ireland though. I've got some family out there and it's close enough to U.K. for me to visit.

AngryJoeShow: When I want a review on a video game, I watch his videos because they are always funny and entertaining but still get down and discuss in detail what is good and bad about the game. Although I swear I nearly died laughing at his review of Sonic Free Riders.

Fine Brothers: These are the guys that do all of the Kids react and teens react videos. A lot of them are funny because they seem to find good kids to do it.

Robbaz: He's the King of Sweden and Nipples. He does video game commentary mostly and it is pure gold. If you like vikings, comedy, and video games then subscribe to him right now damn it! I swear if the people in Sweden are even half as awesome as him, then I'm living in the wrong country. "DENTAL APPOINTMENT!" I wish I was his best friend.

Artificial Fear: what do you get when you combine The Legend of Zelda with metal music?! You get this guy! He does metal covers for pretty much every Zelda song that's ever been made. Go check him out if you're a Zelda/metal fan.

Team Four Star: DBZ abridged. If you like comedy and Dragon ball Z then watch this shit. Essentially, these abridged series are parodies of the original show that are voiced over.

Pretty much all the stuff like that is what I love about youtube.

I love girls with piercings...Oh yes it's one of my eye catchers. Girls with labret piercings, nose piercings, or even vaginal piercings have a certain seduction about them (No wonder I like Konan)

I love the Renaissance Fair...for those that don't know it is when a whole bunch of people dress up and go to a pretend mideval town and buy shit and all that good fun. My parents took me to them when I was a kid. There's one in Colorado that's literally the size of a town that I loved going too. The dumbass rednecks don't get it though so I'm just stuck with swamps, beaches, and racing down here in Mississippi.

I love concerts...been to tons of them. I enjoy most of the metal bands in concert like Tool, Korn, etc. Though three days grace did an outstanding show one year. Hell any fucking concert with rock music is two thumbs up in my book. You just gotta love them.

I love Science in general is just awesome...I kind of wanted to be an astronaut as a kid. Though now with the shit happening to NASA, I kissed that dream goodbye.

I love flying...My friend Jacob had a private pilot's license, and he took me up a few times. Fun stuff. Commercial Airlines however are ass...

I love the mountains...I was born in Colorado, and I like it way better up there than in the south.

I love cold weather...Anything above freezing but below a cool cloudy day is what I'm talking about.

I love it when it rains...So nice to watch it fall sometimes.

I love dogs...unless they are loud annoying yapper dogs...When I see bitches with dogs in their purses or dogs with outfits on I want to shoot them.

I love fighting...I'm not pretending to be a badass or anything, but I have been in my fair share of fights. Nothing is more satisfying than beating the shit out of some trash talker. Of course I've probably lost just as many as I've won, but win or lose, I always have the warrior spirit when dealing with people.

I love intelligent women...It's so nice when you can depend on her for something other than sex. Smart women are great...only downside is you can't win arguments with them.

I love telling people about myself and what I have done...I have an ego, as you've noticed by now. Though I do enjoy sharing stories with friends.

I love having sex...or should I say loved? Although this proves true for anybody, so I don't really know why I bothered mentioning it.

I love being social...though I won't deny that I occassionally just want to be alone all day. No I'm not bipolar, thankfully, but I am an Aquarius damn it!

I love bluntly honest people. Simon the only explanation I need for this.

I love Great Britain...only Britain is great. That's a quote from Doctor Who. I support the mother land!!! I think that they have the coolest fucking accents ever, though Australians have cool voices too. I wouldn't mind living in any of those northern European countries really, since I hear they're cold and beautiful. I love cold weather.

I love snow...why do I live in a steaming swamp?! It doesn't snow down here...

I love myself...I'm not necessarily arrogant or narcissistic, but I do value myself above others is one of my shortcomings when it comes to relationships, friendships, and social interrations.

I love the fact that you have the patience to read THIS MUCH about me. Seriously...why the fuck did you read the whole thing?! Where in the world did you find the time to do that? Hell why did I write all that bullshit? I guess I wrote this ridiculously informative profile because I was curious to see what people would think. Very few people know as much about me as you do now...creepy I know.

Well did you have fun at least? I hope I was entertaining enough with those brutal rants and my boring personality profile. By this point I've probably said enough to either make you like me or dislike me. Either way, I'm glad you took the time to read it.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Great Sage Naruto by Thousandson reviews
This is set 3 year after the war with the Atatsuki and Naruto is about to get a surprising new teammate to take the Chunin exams finally . NaruxIno ,NaruxHinata , NaruxSaku , NaruxHanabi ....NOT a harem.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 457,860 - Reviews: 922 - Favs: 1,632 - Follows: 1,400 - Updated: 1/29/2012 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Naruto U., Hanabi H.
Kumogakure Ninja by Iron Monkey Fist reviews
A six year old Naruto runs away from the Hidden Leaf village and meets none other than Kirabi. How will life turn out for Naruto as a Kumogakure Ninja? You'll have to read to find out. Will be epic in length. Currently being rewritten!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 237,079 - Reviews: 972 - Favs: 2,231 - Follows: 1,960 - Updated: 12/12/2011 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Naruto U.
Naruto: Nightwalker by AlphaDelta1001 reviews
Thirteen years after the Kyuubi attack, the village is undergoing change from the appearances of an unknown assassin, and the mystery surrounding one Naruto Uzumaki. Join him as he makes his way to become the strongest ninja in Konoha.NarutoHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 420,048 - Reviews: 1222 - Favs: 3,467 - Follows: 2,624 - Updated: 2/7/2011 - Published: 8/8/2009 - Naruto U.
Political Alliances by Agent-G reviews
After the failed invasion, Suna decides on making a marriage alliance with Konoha to strengthen ties with them. They chose Temari but for her new husband they chose the most unusual choice in Naruto. How will this new alliance affect both their lives? *Lemons edited out*
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 210,764 - Reviews: 2371 - Favs: 6,012 - Follows: 3,924 - Updated: 11/12/2010 - Published: 8/18/2008 - Naruto U., Temari - Complete
Uzumaki Clan's Rebirth by G3rMan reviews
Naruto has gained knowledge of his heritage, and of a bloodline thought extinct. He must now leave Konoha to master his new abilities and bring back the glory of the Uzumaki, and he will have the help of a busty kage with a similar past. NaruxMei
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 239,202 - Reviews: 2192 - Favs: 7,615 - Follows: 4,305 - Updated: 10/12/2010 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Naruto U., Mei T. - Complete
The Daughter of Naruto Uzumaki by BrownPaperBag51 reviews
Naruto left with Jiraiya on a three year training mission but came back after five years what could make Naruto stay away for two extra years. Naruto Harem Lemon First Chapter Chapter 1 has been beta Sasuke Kakashi and Sakura Bashing
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 81,821 - Reviews: 514 - Favs: 1,981 - Follows: 1,650 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 4/28/2008 - Naruto U., Kushina U.
Unforeseen Consequences by Agent-G reviews
Ino tries to pull a prank on Naruto that backfires in the worse way as she is trapped in his mind. After she never sees Naruto the same way again. Taken over from Gaming Ikari but with new chapters later on. Naruto/Ino/Sakura, Tsunade/Jiraiya.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 75,718 - Reviews: 575 - Favs: 2,363 - Follows: 1,358 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Naruto U., Ino Y. - Complete
Connected by SeaCatSD reviews
The 4th Hokage’s seal does much more than just keep the Nine-tails chakra at bay. In order to ensure that the demon will one day follow Naruto to the grave their very souls had to be intertwined, and not even the Minato knew what that could mean. NaruxKyu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,966 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 349 - Follows: 431 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
From Ramen with Love by Ryushi-the-DutchEroSennin reviews
With help from Ayame, Naruto manages to become closer to the girls, but now he has just one big problem. Naruto can't decide which girl he likes the most. Humor, Romance and Mayhem unfolds as Naruto is trying to find his love. NaruHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 470,465 - Reviews: 1615 - Favs: 3,209 - Follows: 1,962 - Updated: 8/17/2007 - Published: 12/29/2005 - Naruto U. - Complete
Shadow Fox by Sigfried27 reviews
Naruto runs away feeling guilty about Sasuke's supposed death, what will he learn and where will he end up. Read it, because you never thought that there would be a NaruKin story with over a thousand reviews.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 72,148 - Reviews: 1588 - Favs: 1,358 - Follows: 1,222 - Updated: 12/1/2006 - Published: 3/13/2006 - Naruto U., Kin T.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Raining Darkness reviews
Naruto defeats Sasuke in the Valley of the End, but upon returning ends up leaving himself. Dark desires flood his heart as he awakens the Rinnegan, and takes on the alias, Pein. Dark Naruto, Naru/harem, Not quite what you'd expect.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 200,317 - Reviews: 1101 - Favs: 2,965 - Follows: 2,462 - Updated: 10/18/2013 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Naruto U.
No Regrets reviews
After the battle at the Valley of the End, Naruto's Compassion was shattered. He leaves at an attempt to gain more power, leaving nothing behind but a trashed apartment and an angry Sakura. However, he ends up in whirlpool country. NaruHarem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,457 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 146 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Naruto U.
Follow the Fox reviews
After being brutally assaulted at a young age, Naruto meets Kyuubi. After the encounter, the demon takes advantage of the boy's trust in an effort at freedom. However, things aren't always as they appear. How will the fox's influence develop Naruto?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,888 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 42 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Naruto U., Ino Y.