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Joined 03-14-09, id: 1866287, Profile Updated: 05-16-10
Author has written 5 stories for Maximum Ride.

Funny one-liners and stuff! Yay!:

-Person # 1: Happiness is just around the corner.

Person # 2: Too bad the world is round!

-Never knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and hide, he hates that.

-I'm not afraid of death; what's it gonna do, kill me?

-Your wierdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

-WARNING: DO NOT follow in my footsteps...I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

-I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun!

-Growing old is mandatory, growing up however...

-Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticze them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

-You see dead people, but I see regular people and it burns!!

-I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me!

-Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

-Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

-It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

-I don't suffer from insanity, I am enjoying every minute of it.

-I believe that you should live everyday as if its your last, which is why my room is such a mess. I mean come on who wants to clean their room on their last day?!

-Silence is golden, duct tape is silver...

-Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

-When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then watch the world wonder how you did it.

-If you don't like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalks.

-Life is like a pack of gum...I've yet to figure out why.

-Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

-Come to the dark side...we found the Cullens!

-I smile because I have no idea what is going on.

-I used to be normal, then I met the freaks I call friends (I love you guys! :D)

-Therapist= The/rapist...scary thought

-There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "I" in PIE, and thereis an "I" in MEATPIE, and MEAT is an anogram of TEAM...


-Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then for the rest of our lives tell us to sit down and SHUT UP!!

-You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder while coming in a boat to save your sorry butt!

-I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that I just got that happened yesterday

-Isn't it funny how the word politics is made up of the Latin word "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning blood-sucking creatures?

-What happens if you get scared to death twice?

-You know its going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

-Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head says, " This is going to take more then one night..."

-I like you. When the world is mine your death will be quick and painless. Maybe.

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt!"?

-The dinasours extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

-Doctors say I have muitiple personality disorder. We disagree.

-I didn't say it was your fault...just that I was going to blame you

-You can blame all your problems on my two imaginary friends "Steve" and "Candy". They don't mind.

-I'm not random, I just have many th- OH LOOK A SQUIRELL!!

~Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

~Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

~Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

~Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

~Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

~Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature. ( I want to be a politician! coughcough vampire coughcough )

~Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

~Only in America do we have problems with obesity, but still let kids roam around once a year looking for free candy.

Copy and paste stuff! Ha ha:

~If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

~If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

~98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

~If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

~If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

~If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile

~If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile

~If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile

~If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

~Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile.

~If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

~If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.


FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will cry with you and then go beat up the sorry loser who made you cry

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Will be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: At your funeral would be crying

BEST FRIENDS: Sorry I'll be in jail for killing the jerk who murdered you!

By the Deceptionist. (She's my BFF! Randomness rulez!)


(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Funny acual product labels:

-On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

-On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

-On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

-On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

-On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

-On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

-On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

-On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

-On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

-On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

-On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) (My fav)

-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

-On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

-On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

By St. Fang of Boredom!

More copy and pastes! :

~ i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

~The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

~If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

~If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

~If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

~If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

~If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

~If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

~If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

~If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

~There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

~If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

~92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

~If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

~If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

~If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

~If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

~If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

~If you think the world is heading to a bad place, and are planning on doing something about it by making wonderful stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

~If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

~If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile.

By everyoneisMISunderstood!

Sense of Humor

Why We Love Children

1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..



"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later:



"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!"

Five minutes later..



"When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

"The big sissy."

4. One day, the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "...And so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'''

5. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't. They're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

6. Son: Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give my seat up to a lady.

Mother: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But Mum, I was sitting on Daddy's lap.

By alexa35!

Dilbert's one-liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success... Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else

More jokes:

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

- Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

- Whoever said, "Nothing's impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door.

- Being mature is overrated.

- Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

- One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide!

- "What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!

- Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"?

A Real Boyfriend

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you


When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

Geez, won't guys be, like, pressurised to death with all this stuff if they ever see all this stuff?? The guys i know would run off. Jeez.
Still, this was the nicest among all i read, soo...

Oh so cute! Bunny!

Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination, and
come join the dark side, we've got cookies.

Thanks for having the patience to read this!

xD XD xD!! ~this is like my signature... lol. =)~

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Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4222 - Favs: 1,130 - Follows: 830 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
St Fang's Poetry Corner by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, I got bored in Spanish class. Out of boredom, I decided to write some Fang-related poetry and other little writings. I learned one thing fo attempting this: I am no poet. At least it's kinda funny. Narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not again...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 101,661 - Reviews: 1322 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 10/28/2012 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Fang - Complete
Maximum Boarding School by LovelyVentures reviews
Max and the gang find themselves on an all new adventure called boarding school. Problems ensue as they face boyfriends, friends,enemies, and roommates they can't stand. Major Fax and other relationships too.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 49 - Words: 87,172 - Reviews: 1286 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Max, Fang
High School Ride by Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan reviews
All human. Max and her mum and sister have moved to Arizona much to Max's dismay. She doesn't believe that Arizona will have anything to offer her, until she meets Nick Ride, Fang, and his friends and family who call themselves a 'Flock'
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 81 - Words: 262,365 - Reviews: 5008 - Favs: 1,188 - Follows: 971 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Max, Fang
Notes Galore! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
What happens when you mix a very hyper Bella, a pad of paper and a pen? THIS! Baisiclly, the Cullen's start passing note instead of talking. Very random, very, very OOC. Very funny. So, please read and reveiw.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 121 - Words: 40,684 - Reviews: 2744 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
Maximum Ride: ReGenesis by writeroses1029 reviews
Max is just your typical, sixteen year old but when she goes to a new school she feels as if she has met some of the students before. Max learns that only the end will give you the answer. R&R!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 48 - Words: 73,306 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 9/9/2011 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Max - Complete
Bella Hale by JulesSC reviews
Six year old Isabella Swan was orphaned after a car crash took her parents away, and Edward and the Cullens find her. Alice decides to keep her, and Edward tries to protect her. Family drama and hilarity ensues as Bella grows up and ExB happens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 386,995 - Reviews: 13590 - Favs: 8,375 - Follows: 6,193 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
Rising Above Challenges by alexa35 reviews
When Max is sent to an orphanage, she meets a band of kids not unlike her and soon they form an unbreakable bond. But everything goes downhill when Jeb Batchelder arrives. Determined to rise above the challenge, how far will Max go for her friends? Very.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 50,603 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 6/18/2011 - Published: 6/16/2009
The Colour of Love by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
She was White. I was Black. She was innocent and pure. I was her complement, cold and dark and I'd have given her my heart if I thought she wouldn't throw it back at me "If looks could kill; I didn't want to find out" EDITING IN PROGRESS: CHAPTER 1-2 DONE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,669 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 381 - Updated: 3/8/2011 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Job Listings by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
I basically got bored one day and had a random thought: If the Flock applied for jobs, what would be a bad choice? I have random thoughts like that. So, this is what I came up with...Oh, and it's narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not that I want to be here..
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 14,794 - Reviews: 817 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Chasing Ride by RenRawrzBby reviews
Max gets captured by the school. It's been 10 years since she's seen the flock, and she's finally escaped the school. what happens when she finds the flock? will they even take her back? MAJOR FAX review please!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 17,019 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 1/17/2011 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Max, Fang
Dorm Ride by nightwings93 reviews
In order to escape her past, Max gets accepted to her college of choice. Only there's a catch: she has to live in the ALL BOYS dorm! What happens when she meets Fang, the pyrotwins Iggy&Gazzy, and a whole horde of other hot guys? All Human
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 141,577 - Reviews: 3642 - Favs: 1,107 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 11/11/2009 - Complete
Unbreakable Wall by GirlWithBook reviews
AllHuman. Max is once again at a new school. There she is haunted by an abusive ex, and finds her niche, but she also finds Fang. So she puts up her patented, unbreakable wall. But is it as unbreakable as she thought. FAX, of course.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 34,685 - Reviews: 440 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 5/7/2009
How could you give up? by Kiwibree reviews
I'm Nudge. I'll admit that I'm not the smartest in the Flock, but I do know that we need to be together. Always." A story about Nudge. Nudge/Iggy
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 60,512 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Nudge, Iggy
Angel Love by Heart of Diamond reviews
Max and Angel are running for there lives. They want to live like other human children, but it's hard when you don't speak their language. When Max finds shelter in a tree house in the back yard of a giant house, Who will she meet? Will they help her? Fax
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 48,151 - Reviews: 509 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
The Final Adventure 2: Ace in the Hole by FantasyFan5 reviews
Sequel to TFA. Itex is changing the world, and not in a good way. Wars are breaking out everywhere. Max and her flock are on bad terms, but if they can't forgive each other, they watch the world burn...Let the 'games' begin. Fax, JP owns all.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 36,975 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 6/4/2010 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Fang, Max
Blue by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
1930. "I don't want to fight." He whispered. "Too much of a pacifist?" He looked up into my eyes. "Too in love with you." Torn apart by their faith, Alice is sent to a Nazi camp and Jasper is forced to guard her. Can their love survive the odds? AH/AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 4/6/2010 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Alice, Jasper
With a Flourish by Breathlessly Wicked reviews
When Max, only age eight, learns how much responsibility she has protecting the flock, she grows up. Watch and learn how Max became who she is. And even after they leave the School. Before and After the books. From beining to end.Learn about Ms. Leader.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 40,435 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Max
It Started A Few Months Before Christmas by Deceptionist reviews
It started a few months before christmas, when Artemis Fowl was bored, and made the mistake of asking a certain elf for advice. Originally a one-shot. Not so much anymore.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,337 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/20/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Heat in Trust by malitopia reviews
Max learns that she can't trust Fang. When she finally shares her feelings with him in hope to make him understand, things go a little haywire. As in, she gets kicked out of the flock. Maybe OOC.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,531 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/11/2010 - Max - Complete
Advantages of the Cold by Il Cielo Piove delle Stelle reviews
You idiot..." She laughed quietly. "You should tell someone when you're cold. You could get sick, you know." Max/Fang MaxxFang Fax whatever you want to call it, that's what it is.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
Sticking to the Cover by kiwiosity reviews
No matter how crazy, you always have to stick to your cover. A collection of oneshots. Assorted couples. III: It always starts with a dare. M-ish.
Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,619 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 1/22/2010 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Cammie M., Zach G. - Complete
A Kiss with a Side of Fries by luv2read134 reviews
Bella works at McDonald's. Take her job and throw in a gorgeous green-eyed customer, spilled fries, a fat lady, and a kiss, and you get the beginning of a hot romance. AH. B/E. Now Extended.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,913 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Facts of Life by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
After Angel asks Max the 'dreaded question', Max decides it's time to teach the Flock a bit about 'The Facts of Life', much to poor Fang's displeasure. I'm rating this at a moderate T. Read rating notes inside, please! Teeny weeny bit o' Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,151 - Reviews: 755 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 12/13/2009 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Fang, Max
Fazy Oneshots by Cullen In Training reviews
Just some faxy oneshots of Max and Fang, 'coz we all love them. Max crying at night, fang comes to comfort her, what will happen?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,756 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Bella of the Volturi by Deceptionist reviews
Edward never came back. Bella was changed by Laurent. Now, she's one of the Volturi's elite, and her broken heart is almost healed; she is engaged to another in the guard. But what happens when she's sent on a mission to foil Victoria's latest plan?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 42,055 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 11/16/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Bella, Edward
Playing With Fire by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
One-night stands are the diving line between affection and lust. For Bella and Edward, one ended the love that was supposed to last forever… -CO-WRITTEN WITH BLACKANDIVORYKEYS-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,155 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 11/3/2009 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Bella, Edward
Your Existence Gives Me Wings by pvtameliatucker reviews
AU. Max is popular, rich. She has a good life. Iggy and Gazzy are her 2 best friends along w/her sisters Ella and Angel. But when quiet badboy Fang comes, her life is turned upside down. Is her life really all that good? Fang's just what she's waited for.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 50,258 - Reviews: 664 - Favs: 375 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
It All Started With Pancakes by Lord of the Pixies reviews
Amu's boring. Ikuto's a sex god. She loves him. He doesn't notice her. At all. When Amu's older sisters- Ran, Miki, Su and Diamond- decide to help Amu, their plans are crazy, illogical, cruel and a little extreme. OOC AU
Shugo Chara! - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Amu H., Ikuto T.
The Game of Seduction by PeruvianChick reviews
One day Fang shows up at Max’s private school . . . and falls in love with Max. Can he get her to fall in love with him? It may be an alternate reality, no wings, no School but the FAX lives on!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 51,052 - Reviews: 1492 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 9/11/2009 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Relocation by ObviouslyObsessed reviews
Max and her flock are captured and relocated. The scientists have taken their memories. They are sent to live in different towns and attend a normal school. What happens when Fang moves to the same school as her? Can she remember? FAX!Was WANNABE-AUTHOR92
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 95,502 - Reviews: 1764 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 9/5/2009 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Mr Mom by imagine.life.sweeter reviews
When Max gets sick, Fang's left in charge of the flock. How will he survive as Mr. Mom? Told through Fang's POV. Really bad summary. Oh well. Read it for yourself. You'll get a better picture. FINAL CHAPTER IS UP!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 10,787 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
38 Degrees Celsius by alexa35 reviews
A lot of things can happen during a class outing right? Fang & Max find themselves in some pretty awkward situations.. -gasp- Alternate reality,where the flock doesn’t have wings & the school doesn’t exist. Full summary inside. :D Spare me, please read!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,478 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 7/18/2009 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Complete
Flipped: Maximum Ride Style by everyoneisMISunderstood reviews
AU, no wings or School. Fang wishes Max would leave him alone, but Max can't seem to let go of her huge crush on Fang. When Max finally decided she wants to move on, Fang finally begins to realize how much he cares about her. Based on the book Flipped.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 41,942 - Reviews: 1211 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
PreSchoolers Rock! Or Do They? by twilightsun01 reviews
For dolphinherovamp5’s challenge. Edward and Bella work for a summer program for kids and they’re helping with the pre-schoolers. That means one thing: hell. Be warned. AH, AU, OOC BxE.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,670 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Gone by 0YinANDYang0 reviews
As the title permits,it's about someone who left the flock. Fang. And Max is left with his last words to cope with. Everyone expects her to take care of the flock no matter what happens,so will she sink further into her depression,or will she toughen up?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,371 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Max
Nightmare by lunawolf15 reviews
“You liar,” It was Fang, “I bet you wished for it to happen!” He grabbed her from the throat and started choking her. “No… Fang… Please stop!”
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,964 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Max, Fang
Conundrum by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
After a small accident, Max and Fang can hear each other's thoughts! Oh, my, this presents a number of challenges... and what if a certain company is interested in this development? -Fax- -Complete-
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 102,806 - Reviews: 2445 - Favs: 890 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Complete
That Damn, Sexy Crooked Smile by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Bella, an old, married woman, remembers her first love, the man she would never forget. Heart-breaking, but a happy ending, or at least I think so. AU AH one-shot. Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,649 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 740 - Follows: 126 - Published: 11/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
MR : Bloodlust by heaven-angel-15 reviews
/FAXNESS/ Fang develops an irresistable attraction to Max one night to the point where he could be dangerous. What happens if Max suddenly gets it too?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 57,521 - Reviews: 1110 - Favs: 631 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 7/2/2008 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Max, Fang - Complete
Superfax Me by O' Future Ruler Maria Larry reviews
A late Valentine's fic. I dunno if I'm going to make it a oneshot or what. Lots of Fax. I might do something with Iggy and maybe something else with Nudge but again, this is still a developing idea. Chapter 4 up!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,753 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/17/2008 - Published: 5/10/2008
The Cliche by Captain Atticus reviews
The story of how a desperate fanfiction author succumbed to the power of reviews. This is required reading.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Complete
Rewind! by ChildInMe reviews
In Lightning Thief, Percy and Annabeth are caught on video on the Tunnel of Love. Zeus has a clever idea soon after. I have no idea why I chose this title.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 764 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 101 - Published: 10/27/2007 - Complete
Happy Birthday, Max by FantasyFan5 reviews
The flock decides that Max needs to celebrate a real birthday. One shot with FAXNESS!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,526 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/27/2007 - Complete
Dear Foolish Little Brother by solderini reviews
Like all good boys, Itachi writes home occasionally.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,061 - Reviews: 1790 - Favs: 5,058 - Follows: 655 - Published: 4/2/2004 - Itachi U., Sasuke U. - Complete
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Normal life reviews
Just a random, happy moment in life for the Flock when they got their freedom and are living in peace. One-shot. Suck at summaries. R&R! xD XD xD!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,114 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Complete
Consequences reviews
Max leaves. Now the Flock has to learn how to survive on their own. Funny moments. When they meet again, what will happen? R&R pls. Some Fax. xD!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 973 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009
Controlled reviews
The Flock and Max are seperated by the School. Max's life just keeps going downhill. And soon it will hit rock-bottom.But can she survive and bring it back up again? Some Fax. Bad at summaries. R&R pls. xD!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 469 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 5/9/2009
Michelle Batchelder reviews
Max's memory was erased and she starts living in a normal life until the Flock finds her in school. Now they have to try and help her to recover her memory. Fax. This is my first story so constructive critisism appreciated. Pls R&R. xD!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,732 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/5/2009 - Published: 5/7/2009
Truths and lies reviews
Max is told all sorts of stuff. Which to believe? Can the Flock, mostly Fang, convince her? Fax. Pls R&R. xD!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 427 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 5/13/2009