The Unnamed One
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Joined 03-16-09, id: 1868646, Profile Updated: 03-17-12
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

Hello my little munchkins! I haven't been here for a while! I apologise that I haven't updated for forever. Amongst being the least immune person in the world, my title as theatre critic for a newspaper, and being part of a 60-person cast for a show that had 6 weeks to be put together and completely finished, I've also got a lot of coursework to get done. Five thousand word essay by the end of the day? You're kidding. ...Right?

Anyway, I plan to get most of my stories updated again by Christmas, after which point my school life should have calmed down a bit, and I should be able to reprioritise, and FF should come further up my list. And that's about it :)

So yeah, sorry that I've kept you all waiting so long.


All about ME.

Well… My name is Natasha; I’m half-score and seven years old, and I like 7UP. I’m a great believer in soul mates, but not fate. I believe in luck, but not in destiny. I like Cornish ice cream with strawberry sauce. Everything else fails… ice-cream-wise, that is.

I’m a bit of an extremist; I’m usually very upbeat and jolly. However, when that’s not the case, I’m extremely serious, reclusive, and depressed. It’s not hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood; it’s painfully obvious as opposed to those subtly sad people. Ah well.

Also, I play violin, but not very well. I live in England, this sunny, cloud free, beautiful country… pah.

As I write, I listen. Music is everything to me. I get into many a debate about my taste in music, because I love pretty much everything. I’ve got the widest taste in music… like, ever. Seriously, everything from Enter Shikari to Muse to freakin’ ABBA… and I mean everything. Oh, except Country. No. It's just a no-go. Favourite Bands? Panic! At The Disco, Muse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Hellogoodbye, Incubus, Matchbox 20, The Feeling, All Time Low, Enter Shikari ... and all that jazz.

I love a good movie. The best part about film is that for a couple of hours, you have the chance to forget everything, and become completely absorbed in some strangers life. I like a movie that makes me cry. It makes me feel human. I'm usually the least compassionate person I know, so crying at a movie is quite an

My Birthday is on March 20th. Bare that in mind, folks, in case you’d like to drop me a line ;)

I reckon I'm a bit of a clumsy writer; I rarely bother to check over my work before it's posted, but I always make an effort to punctuate correctly (hence use of semicolon).

I’m not Christian. I enjoy church service, and sure, I believe there’s something out there with a higher power than we could ever achieve, but I find some of the concepts the bible has to offer a little… off. Then again, that’s what I said about Hitler.

And that's about it thanks :) TOODLES. x

(PS - Check out my favourite stories. Every single story in there is spectacular and I really do recommend you read it. Especially Face Down by SimplyDazzling. She's awesome, and in my favourite authors. Therefore, I urge you to check it out! OVEN AND OUT.)

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Work in Progress by araeo reviews
AU/AH: Bella, Edward and the usual suspects are adults living in Seattle. They hit it off after a klutzy accident and E awakens B's ovaries, who never hesitate to voice their pervy opinion in B's head. Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 281,655 - Reviews: 6553 - Favs: 5,914 - Follows: 3,541 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Face Down by SimplyDazzling reviews
Bella has a dark past and present; Charlie's an alcoholic who absuses her daily. The Cullen's are new in town, and it turns out that Edward has a story too. They find themselves in each other, but will their dark pasts come back to haunt them? OOC, BxE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 228,565 - Reviews: 1462 - Favs: 1,356 - Follows: 591 - Updated: 11/26/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Two Hundred Years of Solitude by philadelphic reviews
AH, AU Original idea that led to alternate AU for "You Don't Know Me". Edward was never turned into a vampire, but lived to be 107- just in time to meet Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,427 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 57 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Worlds Collide by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Isabella Swan has multiple personality disorder and has let Edward Cullen, an aspiring psychiatrist, do a case study on her and her multiple personalities. Collaboration between Bronzehairedgirl620 and Daddy’s Little Cannibal, dark and funny. B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 30,967 - Reviews: 1045 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 425 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Till Death Do Us Part by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
All human. Edward and Bella meet each other at a bar. They get drunk and hit it off. Edward admits that he won’t have sex till marriage. Bella, on a whim, asks Edward to marry her – he agrees. What a shame that Edward doesn't believe in divorce…
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,298 - Reviews: 8048 - Favs: 3,791 - Follows: 3,146 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
Baking Cookies by BroadwayChickadee reviews
This is a short one-shot in which cookies are baked. Rated T for Emmett's potty mouth. :P It's gonna be great! Check it out! Canon pairings. All Cullens mentioned with the exception of Renesmee
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,407 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/2/2009 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Bella, Esme - Complete
Funeral Mute by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Edward is a soul collector and Bella just died – more funny than dark. These are not my personal beliefs. ONE-SHOT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,395 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 50 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
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Punch Of Love reviews
Bella, 21, is in an abusive marriage. After three years of constant beatings, will she leave the man she thought she loved? OOC, dark, AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,636 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Stupid Shoes reviews
Bella works in a department store in Santa’s Workshop as an elf in the upcoming weeks to Christmas. She meets a certain bronze-haired gentleman and they might just hit it off. For the Epic T Rated Contest, in memory of Daddy's Little Cannibal. OOC, AU/AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,055 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullens get better acquainted with MSN reviews
Written with writer's block. Random conversations with the Cullens. Just you know, something mental. Rated T, but seriously, ONLY if you're a teen. Review please x
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Complete