Poll: What should I do with "The Bodyguard and the Client"? Vote Now!
Author has written 8 stories for Puella Magi Madoka Magica/魔法少女まどか★マギカ, and RWBY.
Important: "The Bodyguard and the Client" is giving me a fair bit of trouble. I'm thinking of rewriting it as a normal bodyguard AU or scrapping it altogether. I mean, I've gotten this far, but I can't ignore the gravity of what I've taken on. I don't know if I can do it justice. My main concern is the whole "Incubators are evil but they're saving the universe" and -- it's just a mess in my head.
TL;DR: "Bodyguard" is going on a long vacation until I can figure something out. Meanwhile, "Mayn't Change the World" is coming along much more smoothly!
Dashes galore! Procrastination galore!
I'm a freshman in college, a girl, and tragically short. I call myself Teddy and you can, too -- even though my pen name's Dessert Maniac. Actually, I was formerly CommanderBibliophileNapoleon, but then I decided that it was too long, so I changed it to Dessert Maniac on a whim; later, when a couple of friends started calling me Teddy, I considered changing my pen name to something Teddy-related, but that would've just caused unnecessary confusion, so I didn't.
...That ramble about my pen name... lol. Sometimes I get carried away.
I love dessert/food in general, hence the name.
My Favorites tab (all the way down, past the bio) is a good place to find out what I've read, watched, etc. If we have similar interests, feel free to PM me! but I might not respond immediately/on time, lol. I practically live to read, but writing is a whole different story. If I read less, I might write more, haha. I've attempted to write fan fiction for Eragon and Harry Potter, but I've deleted those stories because I lost interest and never got around to finishing, on top of realizing the writing was deplorable. However, I'm now rediscovering fan fiction, mostly for PMMM, as you can see by the following section (not all my works are listed because sometimes I forget to update my profile whenever I upload a new thing and by the time I remember to do so all my thoughts have mostly flown away, welp).
Mayn't Change the World -- Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Multi-chap. "Oh my sweet suff'ring / without her I'm a bit addled / A last dance / to forget my great misery / I want to get away, everything to start again / and I dance / oh my sweet suff'ring." One last dance. A happier, alternate universe in which Homura isn't too messed up and almost everyone is alive. Because we mayn't be able to change the world, but we can change ourselves.
>Because they mayn't be able to change the world but the author certainly can. Also, I have no idea what's up with the lyrics in the summary, since I ended up going along a wholly different theme. EDIT: I changed the summary, again.
>The first chapter is incredibly lengthy -- it was actually supposed to be a one-shot, but subsequent chapters will range from drabbles to about 6k [finally getting comfortable with the thought of writing short stuff].
>Cross-posted in Archive of Our Own with minor formatting differences.
Together [M] -- Puella Magi Madoka Magica. One-shot. In a happier alternate timeline, Madoka and Homura start a family. Not overly explicit/lemony.
>Written because I was inspired by a work in Archive of Our Own and because I wanted to test out some of the "science" that I'll be introducing in The Bodyguard and the Client, but I ended up not adding that stuff in. Together is a complete one-shot, but I may one day rewrite. Who knows.
>Can also be found in Archive of Our Own under the same title, but it differs slightly from the one here. EDIT: now both versions are the same!
Coping (Not Really) -- Puella Magi Madoka Magica. One-shot. Maladaptive Coping: ways of dealing with stress that do not resolve the stressor. Because Homura can't possibly go through so many failed timelines without losing it. Definition taken from (yeah) the internet. Can be mostly taken for cannon, but fits more with my "The Bodyguard and the Client" with minor changes. Warnings: cutting, drug abuse, mild suggestiveness. Trigger warning?
>Yeah... I dunno where this came from. Anyway, I guess I should say that it could possibly trigger someone. It starts off kind of, err, suggestive, but then in quickly goes downhill. It's suggestive, not explicit, by the way. The self-harm/cutting part was mostly exaggeration from personal experience, but I have never abused any substances or gone "Bella" soooo those parts are written with significant creative license and liberal amounts of help from the internet.
> ...Nothing else to say, I s'pose. Any concerns, review. I shan't answer PMs no just kidding, I will. It can also be found in Archive of Our Own under the same title.
The Bodyguard and the Client -- Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Multi-chap. AU. Instead of becoming a goddess, Madoka died. Desperate and losing her sanity, Homura goes back and sets a new timeline in motion. Twelve years later, Kaname Madoka finds herself being stalked by an albino called Kyubey, so she hires a bodyguard, who turns out to be none other than Akemi Homura. Gradually, the buried past resurfaces as Homura falls in love and her world falls apart once again.
>A little suspension of disbelief is required, for the psychology is from my own sketchy knowledge and conversations with a friend of mine who's really into that sort of stuff. Also, I have no idea how one goes about getting a bodyguard, much less bodyguard habits. Homura really shouldn't be working solo, but in this case it's a pride thing. The cover picture (which I found on Tumblr) is basically how they look like; just replace their white shirts with the color of their eyes -- and Madoka's not a bodyguard, though she looks epic in the picture, lol.
>This is the perfect example of something writing itself. Originally, they were all normal humans and Puella Magi/witches/Incubators did not exist, but then I somehow or other changed lanes and now all my characters are going freaking insane.
> -weeps for a thousand years at the lack of MadoHomu in my multichap- Honestly the whole thing was supposed to be heavy on the MadoHomu... now I don't even know where I'm going.
>I'm really sorry about the lack of updates! D; I've changed the summary to read, "Sporadic updates," so at least you've been warned. I'm not abandoning the story though! [I just need to find a way out of a deus-ex-machina.]
>I have started rewriting and have posted it in Archive of Our Own: Kiyoshi, Bodyguards, and Memories. Five chapters have been rewritten.
Anyway, the following are pairings that I like to read about and am willing to beta for, along with pairings that I tend to avoid reading/will not beta for. Slash or straight, I don't care as long as it's well-written and the pairing makes sense to me.
Harry Potter: Harry/Hermione, Harry/Luna, Harry/Andromeda, Neville/Luna, and Draco/Harry.
Inheritance Cycle: Eragon/Arya, Eragon/Katrina, and Roran/Katrina.
Twilight: Bella/Edward, Bella/Jacob, Bella/Jasper, and Bella/Carlisle [though I'm not really into Twilight anymore].
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Percy/Annabeth, Percy/Zoe, Percy/Rachel, and Thalia/Luke.
Artemis Fowl: Artemis/Holly and Artemis/Juliet.
Chronicles of Narnia: Digory/Polly, Lucy/Caspian and Susan/Caspian.
Madoka Magica: Madoka/Homura, Madoka/Sayaka, Madoka/Mami, Madoka/Kyoko and Sayaka/Kyoko. [Still reading Oriko Magica, so I don't quite have opinions based on that yet. Also, Madoka's such a player, LOL.]
Fruits Basket: Tohru/Kyo and Hana/Tohru.
Inuyasha: Kagome/Inuyasha, Kagome/Sesshomaru, and Ayame/Kagome.
Mai-HiME: Yukino/Haruka, Mai/Natsuki, Mai/Tate, Mai/Reito, and Natsuki/Shizuru.
Ib: Garry/Ib [I know it's weird...].
Kyoukai no Kanata [Beyond the Boundary] : Mirai/Mitsuki and Mirai/Akihito.
Future Diary: Yuno/Yuki.
Strawberry Panic: Shizuma/Nagisa and Shizuma/Miyuki.
Sakura Trick: Yuu/Haruka.
Once Upon a Time: Regina/Emma, Belle/Ruby, Regina/Snow, and Regina/Ruby.
Maleficent  : Aurora/Maleficent.
Akuma no Riddle: Haru/Tokaku, Haruki/Isuke, Shiena/Chitaru, Suzu/Kouko, and Sumireko/Banba.
RWBY: Yang/Blake, Ruby/Weiss, and Cinder Fall/Summer Rose.
Tokyo Ghoul: Touka/Kaneki, Kimi/Nishiki, and Touka/Yoriko.
Pairings I Don't Like [but everyone has their own opinion, so don't get worked up about this] :
Ron/Hermione -- It's just not reasonable! I think they argue way too much to be a functioning couple.
Hermione/Draco -- This pairing really gets on my nerves, especially pre-seventh year/book. If it's post-Battle of Hogwarts, then MAYBE. But don't hold your breath.
Arya/Murtagh -- Just no. I see no basis at all for this pair. They barely know each other.
Eragon/Murtagh -- I don't mind the slash ... but incest definitely does not sit well with me.
Annabeth/Luke -- I don't think so. "Family, Luke. You promised." Well, he broke his promise. He found redemption later, but I think Annabeth deserves better.
Tohru/Yuki -- I'm sorry, but I happen to ship Tohru with Kyo ...
Inuyasha/Kikyo -- I feel bad for Kikyo, but I think Kagome's better for Inuyasha.
Inuyasha/Sesshomaru -- It's yaoi incest! I draw the line at yaoi incest.
Mai/Mikoto -- Eh ... I dunno, it's just weird.
Shizuru/Haruka -- Yukino/Haruka for life!
Hiromi/Akihito -- Nooooo.
More About Me, Etc:
What else? I love talking about myself sometimes, lol. I'm a freshman in college, halfway through first quarter -- what a journey. I'm incredibly nervous about it and about my future... I have a tendency to slack off in the middle [or beginning] of things, and I tend to let myself get really depressed and anxious about everything. I also have a tendency to ramble because I like hearing myself talk. Sometimes I don't feel like talking, though, so I shut up and hunker down to contemplate the meaning of life.
Eh, in summation I'm basically a bundle of contradictions and inconsistencies.
You can also find me on Archive of Our Own; my pen name is Dessert_Maniac.
Oh! If you've bothered to read this far, I'd like to ask you to check out jazzrun10. She writes for PJO, "Austin and Ally," and marching band.