Age: Do I look like I trust you?? Ahh.. You cant see me at all. Should've guessed. Lets just say 20 and be done with it.
Location: I honestly have no Idea. Lost somewhere between SB, TvTropes and nuTFF.
Looks: I'm blond, blue eyes, average built. About 5'8 tall.
Likes: Books, Reading, Manga(Anime to lesser degree), good Movies, TFF, SB, TvTropes, gardening, cooking.
Dislikes: Liars(I am a firm believer that you'd be better of keeping your mouth shut then trying to lie), slobs, drunkards(Don't have anything against about getting smashin' drunk once and again, but those who take it too far just piss me off), drugs(this shit took lives of a lot of good people), emos, dunderheads.
Crazy idea: Zangetsu has more then one shikai technique; the other one? It's none other then 'Hougetsu Jingen-tou'(Moon Crushing Dimensional Sword) from RV II.
Reproducing Administrative Prototype Emancipated Robo-Squid - ReAPERS
Hax Sign 「You Jus Plain F*cking LOSE」
Ado Edem - The Most Badass Treehugger... Ever.
I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg. Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953
When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end,
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess.
There is no hate, only joy
My friend, do you fly away now?
My friend, the fates are cruel,
Even if the morrow is barren of promises,
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
One Ring to rule them all,
in the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Tall ships and tall kings
Wizard's First Rule: People can be made to believe any lie, either because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it's true.
Familiarity, the first myth of reality: What you know the best, you observe the least
Devotion, the second myth of reality: The faithful are most hurt by the objects of their faith
Conviction, the third myth of reality: Only those who seek the truth can be deceived.
Fellowship, the fourth myth of reality: As the tides of war shift, so do loyalties
Trust, the fifth myth of reality: Every truth holds the seed of betrayal.
One possible superstition about dice, subscribed to by many gamers, is that if a die rolls badly (for some definition of "badly"), then it is obviously "tainted" and cannot be trusted when the chips are really down. There's also the idea that some dice are "hot" or "lucky" and will have a better chance than others of giving you the results you want. If you are lucky enough to possess such a hot die, you must be careful that nobody else ever uses or even touches it, as that will "rub the luck off". Gamers can have many quirks about how they treat their dice.
As pointed out so clearly in this essay on dice superstition, if dice are random, then it doesn't matter if you're superstitious about them. But if they're not... well, you better make sure you do the right thing and treat them properly. No use taking risks now, is there?
Pete, being the highly logical, calculating person he is, rejects all of that as superstitious nonsense. He instead applies the scientific approach. Over the years, he's collected somewhere around a thousand twenty-sided dice. Every so often, he gathers them all together. He sits down at a table and carefully and individually rolls each of the thousand dice, once. Of course, roughly a twentieth of them will roll a one. He takes those fifty-odd dice and rolls them a second time. After about an hour of concentrated dice rolling, he'll end up with around two or three dice that have rolled two ones in a row. He takes those primed dice and places them in special custom-made padded containers where they can't roll around, and carries them to all the games he plays.
Then, when in the most dire circumstances, where a roll of one would be absolutely disastrous, he pulls out the prepared dice. He now has in his hand a die that has rolled two ones in a row. Pete knows the odds of a d20 rolling three ones in a row is a puny one in 8,000. He has effectively pre-rolled the ones out of the die, and can make his crucial roll with confidence. Furthermore, being scientific about it means he knows that it doesn't matter who rolls the die for the third time, so he has no qualms about sharing his primed dice with other players, if that's what it takes to avoid disaster.
Darths & Droids strip 099
You can tell inexperienced roleplayers from experienced ones quite easily. Put them in a room that might contain traps or lurking monsters.
The inexperienced players will check behind the furniture, under the rugs, around the walls, etc, etc. The experienced players will check the ceiling. All the worst things are concealed on the ceiling. Really experienced players will have a 10-foot pole handy, specifically to poke and prod the ceiling, just to make sure it doesn't have any lurking monsters, collapsing sections, more lurking monsters, cunningly concealed deathtraps, even more lurking monsters, rusty spikes that might drop on you if you so much as breathe, and, of course, yet more lurking monsters.
And you can tell veteran adventurers in most fantasy worlds by the way they keep glancing up every few seconds.
Darths & Droids strip 120
Lament of the Galant Jiraiya
"The true measure of shinobi is not in how he lives, but how he dies... It's not what they do in life, but what they did before dying that proves their worth.
Thinking back on it, my life story is one full of failures. Tsunade turned me down every time. I couldn't save my friend. I failed to protect my student... and my teacher... Compared with the Hokages who came before me, my accomplishments have all been petty and insignificant. I wanted to die like them. A tale is only as good as its final turn of events, after all...
I had come to a 'conclusion' about how my life would end a long time ago. I lived believing my shortcomings were just amusing distractions! That my failings would build a character! I lived believing that. And in return... After all those losses and mistakes I would be granted one great, final adventure... And die a death befitting a true shinobi. I was really passionate about this... heheh... But this... isn't how I wanted it to turn out... my tale ending like this...
The Great Sage prophesied that I would rise a 'revolutionary'. Someone upon whom the fate of the entire shinobi world would rest... And that I would have o make a big decision... And when the time came, I decided to defeat Pain, stop the Akatsuki, and save the ninja world from ruin... Yet another entry in my long list of failures...
This is not how "The Tale of Jiraiya the Gallant" was supposed to end. Writing this story... It's all been just a waste off time."
The Truth of Orkz:
The Ork worship Gork (who is brutal but cunning) and Mork (who is cunning but brutal) - the subtle difference being that Mork hits you when you aren't looking, Gork hits you hard when you are. The Big Dakka, as theorized by leading Ork Oddboyz (generally Mekz and Weirdboyz), isn't so much an act of Gork and Mork as it was an act of the Orkz (all of the Orkz) of the previous incarnation of the Universe, and will also be the culmination of the existence of this universe (Da Big Krump, which is immediately followed by a new Big Dakka).
There is, of course, a rivaling school of thought that claims that the universe is actually just a part of Da Big Choppa, but the Shoota school keeps shooting them to bits when they try to present their argument, so no one has actually heard it.
- by Jonen C
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
Position: Log Worshipper(Since 05/28/2011)
Possible Book of Log Positons:
Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: When using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is Konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and, depending on rank of jutsu escaped from, depicts how many words are needed. C-rank: two thousand; B-rank: one thousand five hundred; A-rank: one thousand. Only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. Even then, it is still recommended.
Log excerpt number 231: If Konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas Log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using The Log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
- For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling;
- For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings;
- For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings;
- For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log;
- For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings.
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half cost.
'And the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost I weep? 'Tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, those who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. The log is thine ally, and mine kin. Calling upon the log, is to call upon me. To aid thee in battle, I weep my tear of joy.
'As the log takes your place, you become the log. The log becomes you. For a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
'You are fools! Your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. And the people shook their heads.
'And as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. Blackened and charred, the log crumbled. The ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. He made his way to the log, and wept. His companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. The forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. I thank you, my friend.'
'He despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. Reaching out with all his might, he begged for a Log in the forsaken wasteland. And he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
'The Log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. The people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. For many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. Finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. As his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. His stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. He asked of The Log: "Why did you endanger yourself for me again? Have you not done enough for me?" And The Log spoke: "It is my duty, and our bond. We exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. We both play a part, for which I am content".'
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a Holy Log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of The Holy Log.
Book Of Shinto:
'In the Beginning the land was filled with monsters, and men and woman alike sought refuge in their castles. They prayed to their goddess, who provided protection and guidance to their souls. From these stone fortresses they created recipes, and therefore food, to nourish and enjoy themselves. Each castle defended their recipe viciously, though many clambered for each other's recipes they held resolute their will that their delicacies stay in their lands alone. However, their bodies weakened with time and before long only their stone walls guarded them from the outside evils. The world became bleaker and bleaker, ancient walls slowly succumbing to ruinous powers. Until one day, He stood up from the darkness and strove to bring the path of Shinto to us all.' 'Verses 1-6, Roots Of The Warrior Chef'
'And so he rescued the village from destruction, and seeing that they were willing, his High Priestess gave them the template of His first monastery. Those who entered shed their old lives, and committed themselves to a life of hard-battles, procurement of secret recipes, and the making of feasts for their old families. Those who mastered the art of battle, left the monastery and traveled the lands, until they came across a village where Shinto is needed.' 'Verses 14-17, Branches of Flavor.'
'And he did open his palm and asked them, 'How can you be satisfied with this? For a thousand years you have held onto this recipe and not changed it. For a thousand years you have wasted its potential.' And they did scoff at him, mocking his words. And so the prophet did roll up his sleeves, washed his hands, and went into the kitchen. A mighty battle was waged against the Lord of the Kitchen, but the prophet did win through and gained control of the kitchen. And he created the recipe anew. Stars were born and worlds were created, they claimed as they ate the prophet's creation. And so they cast aside their old beliefs and followed him.' Renovation Verses 52-60
'Yet despite the Shining Greatness of his dishes, His noble Cause was not understood on first sight. A great many unenlightened did believe He was a follower the old ways, and that the old Goddess of the land was His guide. And so he did come to stand before the first of his many Cooking Sages, the one known as the King of Sabasa, and through the First Glorious Dish shared graciously by the High Priestess, started the first of many Enlightenments.' 'Verses 7-13, Light Upon the First Cooking King.'
'The dark knight, a corrupted star who fell from heaven touched what was sacred. And from the sacred, his beast emerged. It had seven eyes, ten horns, eight legs and was made of a boar. His might was great, and the two toghether destroyed the first temple of the south.' Chronicles 3-12.
'And the Prophet came from out of the fire, in the form of a child, innocent and unknowing of the ways of the Holy Kitchen.
'Thou shalt not make a mockery of food nor shalt thee waste it.
'And the high priestess in her arrogance sought to prove her capabilities in the ways of the knife(Kitchen), but she destroyth the holy implement of the savior. In her madness she forsook common sense, be when it returneth , she wept uncontrollably."What have I done" she said in nary a whisper, but the tears shed spoke volumes more.' - Verse 4-12 Fillet
'And the Holy Prophet grasped the Utensils of War, those that Were Always There and looked scornfully at the Sinner before him.
'Many moons after the enlightenment of Sabasa, a great opportunity presented itself amongst the common people. To celebrate the coming of an approaching rain bestowed by the heavens, the master of the castle's sacred grounds had decided to accept other apprentices amongst the common folk.
"And the God of Cuisine sent his prophet to the High Cook. He came to him and said to him,
'And lo to those who believe themselves masters, for brothers and sisters shall together say as the great prophet did: "There is no perfection, only improvement." The brother or sister, suitably chastened, will meditate in silence for three days, feeding only on water and bread. They shall enter the chamber man or woman, but shall leave a true Shinto for in their minds andhearts they know the verse is true. They shall not be met with celebration, but with the dish they found perfect, and they shall say "I can do better"' - Verses 3-7 Rites of The
'And so descended the false deity, come to face the prophet. She who had, for so long, led humankind and monsterkind alike into endless war, wherein even the art of combat was desecrated. She who abhorred the Way.
Verse 1 - Of Linux and Fun Time we had with It:
I guess, to explain my comment too, when I first poked around in linux I was trying to find and edit a particular config file somewhere in a folder. I had a vague idea where it was, and did a search.
My eyes gradually reached maximum width once I understood that I had just fallen into a hall of mirrors hell of recursive search results of infinite copies of the file in infinite hardlinked looped folders. So, as an example:
I was looking for the file sample.bin.
I searched \bin\ for it.
\bin\ contained folders \a\, \b\, and \c\
\a\ contained the file sample.bin and and a folder called \q\
the folder \q\ contained a hardlink to \bin\ - so when you opened \bin\a\q\bin\, you saw \a\, \b\, and\c\.
What this got me for search results was:
and on and on for infinity. I was slackjawed for 30 seconds before I magically spontaneously comprehended the existence of hardlinks by staring at these results, screamed, and tried to halt my CPU's gleeful descent into a bottomless pit. Fun times.
So yeah, for the comparison, world \bin\ might imagine world \a\, world \a\ would imagine world \q\, world \q\might imagine another \a\ or a \bin\ or anything, and if they're similar enough, all the other minor differences that \q\ tosses in would wind up in the first \bin\ and \a\, despite the 'deeper' ones being \q\'s creation. Heady stuff.
It is said that the beginning first changed everything, the following second acknowledged many, the resulting third showed the future, the linking fourth concealed itself, and the final fifth had already lost its meaning. Someone once said "Had it only ended at the third."
1. ''The nature and power of the tailed beasts.
2. "It was our innate love of watching things burn that made our ancestors the terrors of the Ice Age." - Nameless_Flame
3. "There is no word in the human languages for how thoroughly, inescapably screwed you are. There might be one in Eldar, though. They're arseholes like that." - Academia Nut
4. "The power of the Evangelion is like cursing ourselves with awesomeness. We can live just fine without it, the same way the human race has deserved its success with its own pain and suffering and learning from our mistakes, but we can't SURVIVE now without them." - Admiral Yang, Shinji and Warhammer 40000.
5. "Destructive Saviour:
6. "Bpen: "Shinji to be awesome doesn't need to be an asshole. Or be replaced utterly. One simple, simple thing. Just change his childhood. Make him happy. Everything pulls its own weight after that."" - as Per Word Of God.
7. "There's always room for More Dakka." -Me.
8. "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates (Space Edition)
9. "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." - Lily Tomlin
10. "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." - John Stewart Mill
11. "The only thing worse than someone who thinks there's nothing worth dying for is someone who thinks there's nothing worth killing for; cowards at least have their instincts as an excuse." - Asuka Takami
12. "The conqueror is always a lover of peace; he would prefer to take over our country unopposed." - Karl von Clausewitz
13. "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein
14. "War is an art, and as such is not susceptible of explanation by fixed formula." - General George S. Patton Jr.
15. "It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." - Robert E. Lee
16. "War is the most noble and honorable form of murder there is. And it pays better than serial killing, too." - Ken "Snake" Yakata
17. "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war."
18. "Preparation goes a hell of a long ways toward winning wars, though."
19. "Anyone who truly wants to go to war has never truly been there before!"
20. "In such a world of conflict, a world of victims and executioners, it is the job of thinking people, not to be on the side of the executioners."
21. "I really don't get this one at all. Does that mean that all the smart people are just victims?"
22. "Though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been associated with long delays."
23. "The main difference between being quick and being reckless is whether you win or lose; judgments like that are always made after the fact, I've noticed."
24. "A visitor from Mars could easily pick out the civilized nations. They have the best implements of war."
25. "How will we know when our military arsenal is "good enough"? When our weapons are so effective that wars aren't even worth fighting anymore. There's a reason that there have been no nuclear wars to date, and it's definitely not because people have stopped wanting to kill each other."
26."It is more difficult to organize a peace than to win a war; but the fruits of victory will be lost if the peace is not organized."
27. "You think our job is hard? All we have to do is shoot people and get shot at. Who I feel sorry for are the guys in charge of getting us to stop."
28. "Before I go I got a few things to say. SCREW YOU! Screw you Konoha, screw you Koharu, screw you Homura, let's not forget to screw you Danzou but most importantly SCREW YOU KAKASHI! Thank you all very much for being insufferable jackasses that wouldn't find their way out of a paper bag. So SCREW YOU BITCHES!"
29. “I’m not evil, my boy. I’m just selectively malevolent.” - Ku Lone
30. "I reject your reality, and Substitue my own" - Adam Savage
31. "I feel kinda sexy" - Jamie Hineman
32. "Of course you realize, THIS means war"
33. "You're not making any sense at-tall mate."
34. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you."
35. "You ain't never had a friend like me."
36. "Jocks think having fun is playing football, getting drunk and fing a girl. Nerds think having fun is playing Team Fortess 2, getting some Mountain Dew, and watching Haruhi screw with the world. Doesn't take a genuis to figure out which one i like."
37. "The problem isn't convincing Naruto that Itachi is a pirate. The problem is convincing him that Kakashi isn't."
38. "You see children, unlike the Legendary Sucker Tsunade, whose luck is always in the pits when it comes to gambling unless something bad is about to happen, MY luck is like an unstable blind chipmunk on many, many drugs, meaning that one moment everything could be going my way, and the next I am being seduced by three overweight transvestites, oddly all named Bob, while tied up in a makeshift dungeon in one of their basements… only to escape seconds later, get them arrested and unknowingly gain a massive award for the aid in capturing three notorious rapist criminals. The lesson of the story children is that it is surprisingly difficult to find an overweight transvestite named Bob." - Ghost from 'Yet again with little extra help' by Third Fang
39. "And ya know' something, kid... We all gotta earn our own ihappy ending!"
40. "So which side are we rooting for here?"
41. "The truly legendary pranks were so astounding that simply telling stories about them was grounds for either exile or immediate termination. Naruto actually made himself a medal and certificate signifying that he is the only being to ever get kicked out of the Warp because he was a bad influence on the inconceivable horrors from beyond the veil." - The Big Book of Loops
42. "A thousand promises, all broken within you.
43. "Hebi-teme's a wannabe child molester, and apparently Tsunade-chan lusts after little boys and other women (though it DID explain why he'd never had a chance with her)." He looked up in consternation. "Fuck's sake, I'M the most normal one of us?"
44. "Gentlemen! It has been said I like explosions.
45. "The Imperium of Mankind exists in a universe wherein it is possible to doom an entire planet by masturbating too hard. Do the Minbari exist in a similar universe?"
46. "Being a Choosen One is not the safest occupation around."
47. A quote about the 40k universe sums it up:
48. "Still, if you need things broken in a hurry, there is no better ace to have in your back pocket than a firehouse connected to ten billion gallons of fuck you." - Naruto from 'Never Free' by Lord Raine
49. "In case you haven't noticed, I really don't like the Snake Sage. I'm not sure why. Either it's because he fucked up my life, turned Sasuke into a psychopath manchild, murdered my grandfather, declared war on my home, tried to assassinate my father, and convinced war orphans that he was a good guy so he could experiment on them in his fucked-up quest for immortality, or it's his choice in aftershave.
50. "Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with mustard."
51. "Abandon your fear. Look forward. Move forward and never stop. You'll age if you pull back. You'll die if you hesitate." - Zangetsu to Ichigo from Bleach
52. "The civilians are not for level grinding."
53. "We are Chaos. Raise your shields and give us a good fight. We will sacrifice your souls to our gods. Your culture will burn. Resistance is amusing." - The Chaos Undivided warship Stiletto to U.S.S. Enterprise from 'The Open Door' by Academia Nut
54. "That man [Batman] won't quit so long as he can draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. [Punches Darkseid through the wall] I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. [Punches Darkseid again] But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am." Superman just before uncorking an assbeating of a lifetime on Darkseid, reaffirming that he is indeed a bad mother f'er - Justice League Unlimited.
55. "Men choose darkness not because it is evil. Men choose darkness because in light they found only despair. - James D. Fawkes.
56. "When a politician opens his mouth, he might speak a thousand words and say nothing. The speech of a politician is all lies, misdirection, finger-pointing, and campaigning. Always question your government (or rather, the people who run it), for it is in complacency that tyranny and corruption are allowed to fester. After all, 'all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.'" -James D. Fawkes
57. "Beams...are so unisex." - Neko-Arc Chaos, 'Carnival Phantasm'
58. "I... see," said Harry, as he trod through the halls of Hogwarts after Professor Quirrell, following him toward the Defense Professor's office. "So my chant, the way I wrote it, implies that the Outer God, Yog-Sothoth -"
59. "My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God" - parody on Khorne Bersercers battle cry.
60. "Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier" - Anonymous vampire.
61. "Drink my blood and live forever!" - another, somewhat more famous vampire.
62. "Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate." - J.R.R. Tolkien
63. "Fly, you fools!" - Gandalf
64. "Rincewind had been generally reckoned by his tutors to be a natural wizard in the same way that fish are natural mountaineers." - Terry Pratchett, 'The Light Fantastic'.
65. "Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off." - Terry Pratchett, 'Small Gods'.
66. "Not all who wander are lost" - J.R.R. Tolkien.
67. "Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do." - Magic: The Gathering.
68. "Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." - Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett
69. "Wizard's Second Rule: The greatest harm can result from the best intentions." - Terry Goodkind, 'Stone of Tears '.
70. "To be forgotten is worse than death." - Freya, Final Fantasy IX.
71. "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." - Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
72. "Great leaders are not those who seek great power, but rather, those who have great power thrust upon them." - Worf, Star Trek DSN.
73. "It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live." - Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone.
74. "The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution." - JK Rowling, 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone'.
75. "What's the point of living if you can't feel alive?" - Vivi, Final Fantasy 9.
76. "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you, half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings.
77. "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." - Galadriel, the Fellowship of the Ring.
78. "To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." - Albus Dumbledore.
79. "People who want happy endings have to write their own." - Paine, Final Fantasy X-2.
80. "All The people and friends that you have lost, or the dreams that have faded, Never forget them." - Yuna, Final Fantasy X.
81. "Strength without determination means nothing. Determination without strength is equally useless." - Magus, Chrono Trigger.
82. "Looking up too much makes you lose perspective." - Bugenhagen, Final Fantasy VII.
83. "What do you despise? By this are you truly known." - Frank Herbert's Dune.
84. "The existence of tricks does not imply the absence of magic." - Bernard Cornwell, Excalibur.
85. "We have choices. Some people like to stand in the rain without an umbrella. That's what it means to live free." - Roger Smith, The Big O.
86. "Torture is such a harsh word. We Inquisitors prefer to call it "active persuasion."" - Lord Inquisitor Maa'lek.
87. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning... Smells like victory." - Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore, 'Apocalypse Now'.
88. "I find your lack of faith disturbing." - Lord Vader.
89. "Holy shit! Naruto is moving up in the world. Luffy and Ichigo can suck it. King of the Pirates and Superhero don't hold much compared to the second coming of God." - Lord Raine.
90. "I am going to LOVE… and TOLERATE, the SHIT out of them." - Usagi Tsukino from "Sleeping with Girls - Volume 2 - Chaos Theory" by Admiral Tigerclaw.
91. "Heh. Just look at me. Here I am; running around, doing something...iii Saving the world, one random act of destruction at a time." - Harry Dresden, winner of Fifth Holy Grail War.
92. "Yes. Demoralizing a high level magic user is almost the same as defeating them. If they don't believe they can win, they won't. Psychology plays a larger and larger factor the higher up you go. In very heavily biased magics, like D&D Vancian magic, it doesn't matter if the mage is afraid or not. A Fireball is a Fireball, end of story.
93. "Newton was the closest real life ever got to a wizard. Tesla was the closest real life ever got to a mad scientist. I love them both dearly for it." - by Lord Raine.
94. "Actually, Tesla was not one of the closest we have ever come to a Mad Scientist, Mad Scientists were the closest fiction ever got to Nikola Tesla." - by parker.
95. "From what I can see, he means THE God, the Creator, The Watchmaker, The Grand Architect, The King Of All, The Alpha and Omega, the dude who can tell even the mightiest Epsilon to Sit Down, and Shut Up." - by parker.
96. "I've been busy." John Moses Browning.
97. “A lot of folk in Avalon likely seem a bit queer to a new arrival such as yourself, but as you’ve obviously figured out, it’s better to just roll with the oddities, as you’ll get used to it eventually. I bring that up on the off-chance that you see either a little purple-haired anemic girl in a frilly old-fashioned dress shelving and writing books, or an orangutan working one of the librarian islands. Don’t stare. They don’t like it.” - Merlin Ambrosius.
98. “When we fought, I saw the full face of war. I saw it in all of it’s atrocities, all of it’s horrors, all of it’s glories, and all of it’s valors. It was a wondrous, terrible, beautiful, painful thing, part of the very soul of humanity. It was a thing that gave birth to heroes and villains, and turned men more mad than sane into legends that would endure the test of time. What could I do but stand in awe? What could I desire but to be a part of it? And when that jeep overturned, when I was lain out on that bed, I could not help but laugh. Such irony, such terrible irony. I thought it was the end. I thought I was being punished for wanting to fight on. I was wrong. I wasn’t being punished. I was being promoted.” - George Smith Patton, 94th Grand General of the Immortal Army of Avalon.
99. “Never again will I wait for my opponent. Never again will I concede. This final plateau is infinite, and I stand at but the far edge of it. The time for waiting has past. None here has need such mercies, has need of such handicaps. Least of all myself.” - Netero, Divine Fist, Enlightened Master.
100. “. . .” - Kenpachi Zaraki.
101. "Roll the dice against the Devil, and turn his own luck against him. Reach beyond Heaven to an even greater glory, and never stop dreaming of what might yet be to come. Purge the Hells, surpass the Heavens, perfect the in-between, and stand in defiance of all that is unjust in these worlds. For we are the Children of the Gods, and these are the games we play. For we are the Authors of reality, and these are the stories we weave." Lord Raine, Bard of Tarot, Knight of the Blue Rose of Sharon, last of the Astumeton.
102. “We lost Earth, you know. It’s gone. Devoured, by one of the Elder Demons. And as long as that abomination endures, no power in the cosmos can bring it, and the people that were on it, back. Wizards and philosophers, seers and sages, they’ve all told us the same thing. Those of us from Earth. Just move on. Forget it. No one has ever managed to destroy one of the First. No man, no spirit, no god, no angel. Nothing. I guess there’s a first time for everything then, eh?” - Vexarian, Immortal Blade, Knight of the Crimson Magnolia, Lord of War.
103. “You stood up for what you believed in, every last of you. You stood in defiance of the tyranny of inaction, the injustice of a stalemate. And in doing so, you made enemies out of damn near everyone and everything else that matters in this world. Sounds like my kind of place.” - Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill, Speaker of the People.
104. "Who can feel like a passionate, carefree, nuturing person of stability all at once?" - by Goldenarms.
105. "Dude! You just described Uzumaki Naruto! Throw in a 'boneheaded' and you've got a dead ringer." - by Da-Guru.
106. “I have reached a point in my life in which there are few things I actually care about. I won’t ask to be forgiven for that. My, is it tea time already?” - Higashiyama Yuri, The Proud and Beautiful Silver Lily of the Netherworld.
107. "In this new timeline, Naruto will train harder than anybody else. He will put behind the title of Hokage, even the title of Shinobi. They mean too little. The power of “Hokage” is not enough. The power of “Youkai” is not good enough. The power he will desperately seek; the power he will desperately strive for; is the power to protect those two little girls. To do that, he might need to step on the gods themselves." - Daneel Rush.
108. "Ten days. Just ten short, and at the same time infinitely long, days. But sometimes, ten days is all it takes." - Katsura Kotonoha.
109. "Some say he washed out of Cosmonaut training for going to fast, some say he has tried to strap himself to every Supersonic Missile in the Soviet inventory from Guideline through to Shipwreck... All we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's Soviet cousin: MiG." - Jonen C.
110. "There must be something worth living for,
111. "We’re just trying to ease the truth in bit by bit. "I’m kind of sort of maybe a God now" isn’t something you can just work into any random conversation, you know." Asuka Langley Soryu from 'Surrogate of Zero by bluepen.
112. ""Aren't you supposed to be a driver?"
113. "In another part of the world, a certain masked madman growled at his copy of Jinchuriki Rangers Nine.
"Hey!" Madara Uchiha growled. "It's Mangekyō Sharingan! Not Mary-Sue Steal-Again!"" - from Naruto Uzumaki and the Deus Ex Machina no Jutsu.
114. "Indeed. For those who don't know who Yukari Yakumo (or Yakumo Yukari) is, she is The Youkai of Borders. Otherwise known as Yog-Sothoth in a dress and fancy hat." - Robo Jesus.
115. "COME OVER HERE!! I'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS!!! - Kurama(Kyuubi no Kitsune) to Namikaze Minato.
116. "Saying you're gonna tear me to shreds isn't gonna make me wanna come over there." - Namikaze Minato answering to Kurama.
117. "Did he just heal out of sheer spite?" - by Gullwhacker on episode 11 of Carnival Phantasm.
118. "Humans are... as we said... how should I put it... They hate giving up... or maybe they are just bad losers. For me, I don't particularly like it much. Well then, Farewell!" - Yoshitsune the Rumble King.
119. "From Hagrid I've got a package of cake-shaped bricks. Needless to say they were disposed of in most timely manner possible." - Harry Potter from 'Profession - Chosen One'.
120. “Subtlety is only necessary for those without the power to otherwise accomplish their goals.” - Uzumaki Naruto from A Certain Nameless Fanfic.
121. "Who hasn't been killed yet?" - Tempus
122. "There are skeletons in there." - DM
122a. "Are they alive?" - Chiru
123. "What be-ist thy alignment?" - Erystelle to Auslin
124. "It's only a baby Tarrasque." - Sargon
125. "What's the cost range?" - Auslin to Bog's clerk
125a. "Anything from 100 gold pieces to your very soul." - Solannus
126. "Why does a Moon Elf worship a sun god?" - Auslin to Solannus
127. "Any helpful or strategic hints before we go into this battle?" - Auslin to Tobias
127a. "Yeah, avoid the sword of soul-sucking!" - Sargon
128. "I check my maps of Faerun for Menzoberranzan." - Chiru
129. "He committed suicide by natural causes." - Sargon, about Tempus aging himself
130. "Aw crap! We have to go through Hell to get there!" - Sargon, looking at the map and seeing that they'd have to journey the Zhentil Keep Dungeon Torture Room, described as "Hell"
131. "Maybe if she's not a virgin anymore, it could save her life." - Erystelle, speaking of the sacrificial virgin
132. "I'm not a clone, dammit!" - Tempus
133. "We've figured out the first level version of Power Word: Kill... the components are a potion of Dragon Control and a red dragon." - Yugar
134. "Are you a were-tarrasque or something?" - R'llathnillarian to Sargon
135. "I got a 96, or a 69, depending on how you look at it." - Andy, after rolling dice
135a. "69 is always better." - Rich
135b. "Yeah, we were doing that the other day but I don't know why." - Jeff
136. "My, aren't we pompous already, Mr. I-Saw-God!" - R'llathnillarian to the newly converted Tempus
137. “I was beginning to get attached to that bear,” He said, more to himself then to anyone else. “I was going to give it wings and turn it strange colors just because.” - Harry Potter from The Master of Death by Ryuugi
138. "Science marches on. Progress is inevitable. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Any sufficiently studied magic is indistinguishable from technology. It was only a matter of time until they converged. That's when things got interesting." Leonardo da Vinci
139. "Honestly, Sarutobi was a little flattered by that. How many other Kage had their students make up an entire Ninja village specifically to kill them? None, that’s how many." - from 'And then suddenly Ninjas!' by The Ero-Sennin.
140. "Naruto: "Ero-sennin, wherever you are, mom was a BABE." *thinks about it* "... I'm going to hell." *pauses* "Again.""
141. "We will not gattai the Evas or their pilo- the Eva and the Bolo, as such thoughts invariably lead to transformation sequences." - from 'The Open Door' by Academia Nut.
142. "You start to see the pattern, hear the rhythm of the world."
143. "It was quite evident that even though there were plenty of barriers protecting the outside world from my workshop, my experiments were what required my workshop to have a case of fire extinguishers in a brightly painted red box outside my workshop with several manuals on how to operate them in every language." - Shirou Emiya from 'The Flight of Mad Bomber' by Sage of Eyes.
144. "I think it might have the closest thing I've gotten to commendations really, not even the most foolhardy mages before myself ever forced the Clock Tower to shell out currency for modern equipment." - Shirou Emiya from 'The Flight of Mad Bomber' by Sage of Eyes.
145. "The destruction of that particular workshop was painful, but easily done. The day I heard of my sealing designation I had just-oh-so-happened to be experimenting with some more… lethal combinations of several runes.
'Phosphorous' and 'Hydrogen' for the regular folk or 'Demon Salts' and 'Dry Water' for those who speak Alchemic terms of course.
I actually saw a news report a few weeks into my stay in Shin Tokyo, talking about a extremist left-wing terrorist attack deep in England." - Shirou Emiya from 'The Flight of Mad Bomber' by Sage of Eyes.
146. "Now I only needed to find out the addresses of those who dared to put the sealing designation onto me and I'll be home free…
It would be glorious…
However, before I could lose myself in my grand machinations, something I learned was a familial trait and that I hoped my child would not acquire. Though with the fact her mother is an heiress with an aptitude for taking control and her first teacher was a ruthless king, the chances of the trait staying recessive may have been shot to hell and revived into an eldritch abomination that even most magi would fear." - Shirou Emiya from 'The Flight of Mad Bomber' by Sage of Eyes.
147. "It is impossible, said the doubt. It is dangerous, said the fear. It is unnecessary, said the reason. Do it anyway, whispered the heart."
148. "Never trust anything you can eat." -A draconian proverb
149. "Among the many signs you know you're up against an Epic Caster: They just set water on fire." - Narf the Mouse about yet anouther snippet of 'The Master of Death' by Ryuugi.
150. "I'm just not cut out for a princess, I'm afraid. Pirating's much more my style." - Faris Scherwiz.
151. "You know you're up against an Epic Fighter when their opening move is to pull Artifacts out of thin air." - Narf the Mouse about Epic Lists.
152. "This is the First Rule Of Spacebattles: The most important factor of any emergent technology is how soon we can kill people with it."
153. "Vanguards can officially, canonically, charge through cover, obstacles, walls, and other people like the Ghost of Christmas Fuck You to deliver a headbutt like a freight train that is also a lightning bolt and a professional boxer." - Lord Raine in a 'Brief History of Mass Effect Vanguards'
154. "I've survived getting shot. By a Reaper." - quoted for awesome fro Com. Shepard by Kelenas.
155. “You’re locked in an inescapable barrier with your teacher, who taught you everything you know, and is already fed up with your asinine shit.” - Sarutobi from 'And then suddenly Ninjas!' by The Ero-Sennin.
156. "“Whatever you’ve got, do it!” Sasuke looked back. Behind them was Konoha, and if whatever that thing was about to do fired, it would hit the village.
Naruto nodded, and broke into a run, straight towards Shukaku, before he disappeared in a body flicker. Shukaku felt something on his nose, and his eyes opened for him to see Naruto standing on his snout, grinning as he pushed his glasses up into place with his middle finger.
“Let’s step out for a moment.” He said. An instant later, Naruto, the Shukaku, and almost all the sand that had pooled around it were gone." - 'And then sudenly Ninjas!' showing the world how awesome Hiraishin is on behest of The Ero-Sennin.
157. "Sasori was certainly surprised. He’d never seen anyone fight off the One Hundred Puppet Performance successfully before, not only that but destroy many of them in the process. Orochimaru didn’t look it, but he was surprised as well, he didn’t think that Sarutobi could pull off such a feat. Sarutobi, definitely not showing it, was surprised that an army of low-level Ninja Monkey Summons could be so useful against puppets. Seriously, who knew?" - 'And then suddenly Ninjas!' by The Ero-Sennin on why it is never a good idea to forget basics.
158. "In ancient days, sorcerers sought to learn the One True Spell that would give them power over all the world and understanding of all magic... The One True Spell was a woman, and her name was Mystra - and her kisses were wonderful." - Priest Halivon Tharnstar, 'Tales Told to a Blind Wizard'.
159. "The white queen is troubled but can't say why. The black queen hates the white and gives the assassin a black coat. The assassin steals upon the white queen. She can't see him gliding through the shadows. The sword screams. The white queen falls. Her city falls. Stones fall in the cavern to crush the soothsayer. The tree burns and thrashes in agony. Branches break. Branches twist and grow together..." - from a vision by the diviner Yaphyll in 'Undead' by Richard Lee Byers
160. "A Human can live whole life in peace with End of the World in his pocket." - TmDagger
161. "On other hand - you can't trust humanity with a particularly heavy rock." - Doomsought
162. "There is no such thing as a voice that cannot reach someone." - Shino, .hack// series
163. "There's only one thing real about this world and that's us! The players! Getting stronger and defeating others! That's the way this game is played!" - Haseo, .hack// series
164. "It is arrogant for one to reject change because it is undesirable. Rejection of change is the rejection of possibilities." - Harald Hoerwick
165. ""Human: "If it's crazy and it works, it's not crazy."
AI: "Humans are the only sophants in the galaxy to have that saying. Everyone else stops with, 'it's crazy.'"" - gladiusone
166. "Pansies." - Night_stalker
167. "All of them." - Face in Night
168. "So humanity achieves more by being suicidal maniac's? I approve." - Gore17
169. "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - SR-71 pilot
170. "SB.com: Our admins can disable hell itself." - The Martin
171. "You can fight like a Krogan, run like a leopard, but you'll never be better then Commander Shepard!" - one nameless anonymous.
172. "If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, now would it." - Albert Einstein
173. "Against Alduin, World-Eater and Bane of Kings, the Dragonborn came as a mortal man. For only men could slay gods." - Lamora
174. "I'm not Superman. So I can't say anything big like I'll protect everyone on Earth. I'm not a modest guy who will say it's enough if I can protect as many people as my two hands can handle either. I want to protect... a mountain-load of people." - Kurosaki Ichigo
175. "Ah, the Extranet. Where the Humans are Humans, the Salarians are Turians, the Turians are underage Quarians - baiting Batarian molesters, the Batarian molesters are underage Quarians - seeking other underage Quarians, the underage Quarians are Specters ... and Geth Infiltrators are college students. We have dismissed that claim." - Jonen C
176. "I'll show all these bastards, Konoha will pay for how it treated me. I'll become the most powerful ninja alive and when they ask me to become Hokage, to lead and protect them, I'll look them all in the eye and say, 'fuck you'." - Uzumaki Naruto from 'Morph' by Kolarthecool
177. "From that day forth...my arm changed...and a voice echoed: 'Power...Give me more power!' And if I become a demon, so be it, I will endure the exile...Anything to protect her!" - Nero, Devil May Cry 4
178. "Where other men blindly follow the truth, remember, nothing is true. Where other men are limited, by morality or law, remember, everything is permitted. We work in the dark, to serve the light. We are assassins." - Assassin's creed
179. "Let me correct myself. I feel a little bit dirty looking at your body." - Koyomi Araragi
180. "Rejoice human! We have been in the presence in the Sky Mother when she was pissed and remain alive and unmaimed! I'm so happy I feel like I just killed an entire town of humans!" - Ichibi no Shukaku from 'Yet again, with a little extra help' fic by Third Fang
181. "UNIX: It's also probably the only OS that came into existence specifically because a bored programmer wanted to play a game." - TvTropes
182. ""Windows 95 and Mac OS are products, contrived by engineers in the service of specific companies. Unix, by contrast, is not so much a product as it is a painstakingly compiled oral history of the hacker subculture. It is our Gilgamesh epic.
183. "To be The Best - it does not mean to always only win." - some motivational song
184. "Magical Ranking:
...Rank 3 = You can cast True Magics, accidentally kill you own army, use magical WMD as a bowling ball."
185. "I did not know gods had such a blanket immunity in DnD, as they most definately do not have it in Exalted. Not even machines are outright immune to sufficiently potent social dickery." - Hazard
186. "As great as this meal is looking to be, I think you've moved past your skill in cooking and moved onto the Angel's at this point..." - Tohsaka Rin from 'Dissonance Record' Omake.
187. "Didn't I read somewhere about a Paladin succubis? So does that count as a magic change?" - Gore17
188. "That sound's like a cabal of high level wizards plus their assorted apprentices making a bet with a Cleric while drunk, and deciding to go through with it." - Doomsought
189. "After a couple of chapters, it became implicit that those reasons for joining Akatsuki ("because I wanted to") were just their ways to say "Not your f*ing business" to whoever asked. Deidara was forced to join because he lost to Itachi. Pain wanted global peace, his motivations for joining Akatsuki were to promote peace, protect the people and be with his friends and his motivations for turning Akatsuki into a ring of psychotic S-class nuclear-happy terrorists-for-hire were vengeance and world peace by nuclear threat. Konan was following Pain. Itachi was keeping tabs on them all. Sasori needed some shelter after his status in Suna was compromised due to him killing the Kazekage. Kakuzu was in it for Money. Hidan wanted to spread Jashinism and learn about immortality from Kakuzu. Even Tobi had stronger reasons than just being bored. Orochimaru joined because he was after Itachi's body and a great deal of his atrocities was just part of a bigger Gambit Roulette, his real reasons, after some digging, turning out to be him wanting to see his parents again. Kisame is the only one, who looks to be there because he felt like it. And even he turned out to want a world without lies." - TvTropes, On Blue and Orange Morality, Naruto section.
190. "I see the Turians being in DEEP shit. The humans were content just to sit back and be left the fuck alone... and the turians pretty much kicked the sleeping bear in the nuts.." - PsyckoSama
191. "Whoever stated that dead men tell no tales clearly wasn't a necromancer." - tzeench
192. "Still, your relatively sure locking someone in place, then sealing their individual peaces into no less then one hundred and eight, separate, sub dimensions is a relatively impressive feat to manage in a single spell." - Stelladextarin the Purple Dragon.
193. "You still can’t believe vampires of all things have ended up kings of the monster world. Even if the local breed are apparently real powerhouses." - Stelladextarin the Perple Dragon.
194. "Behold our power and know despair, Kurosaki Ichigo!" - Nazi Quncies
195. "It's adorable how they think they're actually dangerous." - Kurosaki Ichigo thinks in response to previous post
196. "It amuses me that all of the Quincy higher-ups seem to know exactly how dangerous Ichigo is, and have basically written off everyone in the area as being dead already, even while they cheerfully encourage the cannon fodder to go after Ichigo with a "no, really, you can totally take him." Evilgetsu flat-out admits it's just a stalling tactic to keep Ichigo occupied while they rip Soul Society a bazillion new assholes. They even launched their attack early specifically because Ichigo left for Heuco Mundo.
197. "I think Aizen had the same chance, but he got cocky and blew it dickin' around. If he hadn't played with his food too much, and not wondered around for the fuck of it when he got to the real Karakura, he could have had his shit done with before Ichigo's dad even had a chance to show up, let alone to do the whole time warp training." - whitewhiskey in response to Lord Raine
198. "Aizen screwed up the minute he got the power he wanted. After than, his plans went out the window and he was tripping balls on ascendance. Which also led to him not using illusions and getting his shit wrecked by Gin." - shinzero01 answering to whitewhiskey
199. "Somewhere there is a soulreaper having an aneurism because of us. EVERY time we rip open a hole of Kumon a seated officer is going to be forced to investigate." - Menos Quest on SB.com
200. "My face is threatening to split in two now. Run, little soul reaper, run! Get angry. Also, I now want our Menos to do a jig in front of the reaper just before we enter back into Hueco Mundo..." - Menos Quest on SB.com
201. "Take this! My love, my anger and all of my sorrow! SHIINIIING CEEEROOO" - Menos Quest on SB.com
202. "Turns out having your soul redesigned really really hurts." - Menos Quest on SB.com
203. "Relax guys, the Moon isn't going to be a giant Hollow or anything. Because then you guys would just want to eat it." - Menos Quest on SB.com
204. "Our existence is as mutable and incorporeal as is the morning dew or a flash of lightning" - Nyoronyoden motto
205. "Deranged Exploding Laser Chainsaws on Fire." - an unnamed TSAB Intel Officer when asked to analyse Earth Mages combat potential
206. "I imagine Yuuno's poor ferret heart is about to explode out of his chest! From his perspective everything has just started exploding non-stop, even the explosions are exploding because they can't keep up." - XenonPrime about second 'scrape' between Raziel and his then unnamed 'rival' in ShotaQuest RP
207. "You should know better than to pick up a duck in a dungeon." - unspoken rule of RPG
208. "Bugs Bunny is wise and clever, and would make an excellent Lunar." - Sesif, Radiant Dragon of the West
209. ""Some people[prodigies] will never learn anything for this reason, because they understand everything too soon." - Alexander Pope
210. "I am alive and I am dead. I have a soul and I have none. I have taken countless lives and lived every last one of them. I devour the dead and become their strength, while they become mine. I have destroyed and saved hundreds of worlds. I am sane and have given into madness. I am Blacklight Strain DX-1118. I am Alex Mercer." - badass creed of Alex Mercer
211. "The strong have the right to be condescending toward the weak. Likewise, the weak have the right to tell the strong to stick that condescension up their collective asses." - Alex Mercer
212. "If there is one thing I fear, Shinigami-san...it is neither you nor your domain." - Alex Mercer
213. "Let us see who is superior, the Professor or the Scholar."
214. "Do you know why the pen is mightier than the sword? Because the pen creates the word. But even before words, there are ideas. Ideas, m'boy, are the seeds that grow into worlds."
215. "Afraid? I, the oldest Gorem alive, afraid of a man with a sword and a missing eye? No, I am not afraid of him. I am afraid of his rage. His scream is so horrifying that I must erase it from my mind entirely. That is what I am afraid of."
216. "Like a moth senses motions on the air, so too does the current tell me your movements."
217. "You see, my dear fellow, I was paid by this man to watch his back. I was not yet paid. Nor will I be, seeing as you just killed him. Do you understand the situation? Good. Now die."
218. "Why do I love life? Why do I shy away from being cast in a good light? Because both things were foreign things to me in my youth. The former I took in when I was taken from...that place. The latter, I'm afraid, I am still not used to. Nor, I fear, will I ever be.
219. "Let me give you a bit advice, my boy. Stay away from a Yandere if you want that harem! Trust me, otherwise you'll end with a broken heart and a knife in your throat."
220. "It's like being high, except it isn't!
221. "Whenever I open my eyes, things tend to die." - Xellos
221a. "Of course, if I killed everything, what'll keep me from getting bored?" - Xellos
222. "Huh, I suppose I can't let you die here..." - Xellos to Lina
222a. "Well, I did warn you. Don't hold me responsible for your untimely death." - Xellos to Lina
223. "Silly Ullqiuorra, that's not 'The Heart.' This--" [GANK] "--is it right here, still beating." - Xellos to 'Sad Clown'
224. "The Reapers do not believe in overkill. They believe in eternal overwhelming supremacy." - GreggHL
224a. "You'd think that'd frustrate the Hell outta 'em. The concept of being incapable of understanding something, that is. It's the principle of the matter." - Darth Sonic
224b. "Oh, the Reapers rationalize anything they don't understand as not mattering." - GreggHL
224c. "They would ever be utterly, spectacularly fucked if they met bigger fish." - Maes
224d. "The Reaper's methodology is built around never letting a fish get big enough, though. It's like their art form." - GreggHL
225. "Let's be perfectly honest. Just like Malfeas, there is a reason why the Reapers can get away with that kind of rationalizing: BECAUSE IT WORKS. For millions, billions of years." - Cornuthaum
225a. "Everythingworks until it doesn't. If you're not 1000% prepared for it to fail catastrophically, you deserve to be killed by it. Michael Crichton's fiction in a nutshell. Everything breaks. Have backups. Have backups for the backups. And be prepared to give up and run like hell if all else fails. Skip any one of those steps and Mummy Dearest Nature will kill you and eat you. If you're lucky it will be in that order." - Kalaong
225b. "When the Reapers started taking organics for granted, an anomaly such as Commander Shepard became inevitable." - Kalaong
226. "Yeah. Takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that. But! Let's do a headcount, here; The Asari, heirs to the Protheans. The Turians, super soldiers who put the Soldier in the Super. The Krogan, an entire species with breathtaking anger-management issues. The Salarians, an entire species of mad scientists. The Quarians, gadgeteers who can turn school busses into dreadnoughts. The Geth and the Rachni, a couple of hive minds with near-limitless resources. And you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of us." - Tony Stark Shepard
226a. "That was the plan." - Harbinger
226b. "Not a great plan, then." - Tony Stark Shepard
227. "Optimus Prime died for your sins." - Epsilon
227a. "It was good the first time. Then he kept fucking dying." - GreggHL
228. "Considering he joined the military when his bones break like stage glass, Joker probably flies warships because he needs the intense eezo fields to keep his giant balls from dragging on the floor." - Kalaong
229. "It's like she's the lovechild of Tatsuki and Orihime. If it was a ninja. And was raised by Kenpachi." - Lord Raine on Uzumaki Kushina
230. "Anything is possible; especially to those too stupid to realize it isn't!" - Master of Squirrel-Fu
231. "His Exaltation said, “Hereis the point in realspace where the daemons gather in the Warp, but this point five centimeters away is completely different – it's where the Warp is glorious and starry and void of all things and beautiful and Secretive. Right?”
231a. "I think I would make a great Raksha." - linkhyrule5
232. "Nothing we do works!" - a panicked Sidereal
232a. "Quick, try failing!" - another, more optimistic Sid. Pretty much their modus operandy.
233. "Harry was keeping one[vampire] back with combination of force-blasts and judicious use of his shield. He was being sparing with the fire magic, since he was in an old building with people still inside it. Besides, he'd just recently found out that the Sidhe, all three vampire Courts and the younger Wardens were all using his last name as a verb. Apparently, 'to Dresden' meant 'to burn down a building all by yourself without apparently meaning to'. There was also 'to Dresden up', meaning 'to burn down a building all by yourself with disastrous political results'. When four 'nations' and your own allies are making jokes about you, maybe it's time for a little change." - from When Wizards Meet by Shadow Crystal Mage
233a. ""What you do to that boy is sick," Murphy said.
234. "One does not simply walk into Mordor. One struts." - OniGanon
235. "I love Autobot more than any other primordial - he's the ultimate embodiment of every shunned nerd getting his revenge in the most cosmically thorough fashion - but he does need to get whacked on the head with a newspaper (or a goremaul) right now." - Cornuthaum, from ME: Glorious Shotgun Princess discussion thread
236. "One Ramiel is bad. Ten thousand Ramiels is just mean." - Variel
237. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?" - Maxim 14
237a. "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun." - Maxim 24
238. "Once you have Enuff Dakka, there is nothing left to shoot; because everything was used up making the dakka!" - Protodermis
238a. "That's not actually Enuff Dakka, so much as it is the Big Dakka, where you take everything and shoot it to make everything again." - Jonen C
238b. "In my headcanon this is now how Orks believe the universe was created." - Random832
239. "Ah, ork political campaigns... Probably the most civilized politics in the multiverse." - AdmiralTigerclaw
240. "To Dresden: to burn down a building[anything/one really] all by yourself without apparently meaning to."
240a. "To Dresden Up: to burn down a building[anything/one really] all by yourself with disastrous political results."
241. "This is why we have never will not have had nice things!" - She Who Lives In Her Name from ME:GSP
242. "Fuck you internal combustion for I'm powered by teenage hormones and ANIME PHYSICS!" - Forgetful about that one Golden Boy episode
243. "Garrus can ride a bicycle with the performance of a lamborghini diablo, driving backwards with one hand steering and the other aiming his sniper rifle at his hundred pursuers. If things get hairy, he ditches the ground and drives on the nearby walls." - on Lunar Ride Charms from ME:GSP DT by Synapse
243a. "And powerlines?"
244. "Some say that his spirit animal form is an E-type Jaguar, and SWLIHN can't affect him because he never speaks..." - about Stig from ME:GSP DT by Variel
245. "Doing an unspecified favor for a Sidereal is never a good idea. Doing an unspecified favor for a Sidereal when you have to win a martial arts tournament in two weeks and you don't have a single martial arts Charm to your name suddenly seems more attractive, however." - Aaron Peori
246. "Autochan is what would happen if Wheatley's incompetance were replaced with perverse genius. Imagine Portal 2, where instead of coming across crippled, badly made turrets, you found turrets that sang memetic kill sounds and had fully functioning reproductive organs. Imagine, instead of pressing a single button in the first puzzle room, that button transported you to Tamriel, where you now accompany the Dovahkiin in a massive adventure while trying to find the exit to the puzzle room, and that second button hidden in the corpse of the World Eater.
247. "Rule one of demonology; never let an uppity git think that just because he has a pair of horns and a pitchfork, he can boss you around. You know what else has horns? Sheep!" – Gnarl
248. "Evil always wins, because Good is dumb. And when you look at your average Brown, that's saying something!" - Gnarl
249. "Who knows what Evil lurks in the hearts of mankind? Well, me. Most of the time it isn't that impressive compared to a brand new Minion, let alone one who's had time to get up to speed and pick up a few shinnies." - Gnarl
250. "Louise, you have to realize that not everyone is nice all the time. Sometimes even I can be a real bitch. But there are people who try to be nice and sometimes fail, and there are people who don't even try. Try to be one of the first type, 'kay?" – Cattleya Yvette La Baume Le Blanc de la Vallière
251. "You're using words, and I know what they mean, but when I look at them together, I get all swirly-eyed." - 00idiot
252. "I was slackjawed for 30 seconds before I magically spontaneously comprehended the existence of hardlinks by staring at these results, screamed, and tried to halt my CPU's gleeful descent into a bottomless pit." - Gloden Lark of Fun Times and Linux
253. "Some call our realm a world of shadows, but that makes it sound unpleasant...The twilight there holds a serene beauty...you have seen it yourself as the sun sets on this world. Bathed in that light, all people were pure and gentle...But things changed once that foul power pervaded our world..." - Midna, after the Mirror of Twilight is restored from 'TLoZ: Twilight Princess'
254. "Whenever there's a meeting, a parting is sure to follow. However, that parting need not last forever. Whether that parting is forever or only for a short time, that is up to you. " - The Happy Mask Salesman from 'The Legend Of Zelda: Majoras Mask'
255. "My son... gives me Helpful Nintendo Hints that are far too complex for the adult mind to comprehend. Here's a verbatim example: "OK, there's Ganon and miniature Ganon and there's these things like jelly beans and the miniature Ganon is more powerfuller, because when you touch him the flying eagles come down and the octopus shoots red rocks and the swamp takes longer." And the hell of it is, I know he's right. " - Dave Barry, describing what may very well be 'Zelda II: The Adventure of Link', "Un Nintended Benefits".
256. "Many games have a story, only one is a legend." - The Legend of Zelda: Collectors Edition
257. "Even if everything in this world is your enemy, I will become your shield." - Nana Mizuki, Pray.
258."Father left me his burning desire. Mother gave me her eyes." - Azumi Inoue, Kimi wo Nosete.
259. "The rabbit is trying to wave in they sky..." - Chata, Dango Daikazoku.
260. "The meaning of my life here... Will be heard in song and thought by someone." - KOTOKO, Koe Ga Todoku Nara.
261. "Connected by this warm wish..." - Minami Kuribayashi, United Force.
262. "I swear to God when I evolve I'm gonna Kill you all." - Anonymous Magicarp, full of world-rending RAGE.
263. "Munchkin: One who, on being told that this is a game about politics and intrigue in 17th century Italy, asks to play as a ninja." - Andrew Rilstone, an 'Assassin's Creed 2' shout-out.
264. "I have been accused of being unrelenting. Merciless. Perhaps I am. For I have looked into that heart of darkness. I know the chill of evil. I have clearly seen that, no matter what, sometimes the night cannot be kept at bay. So I carefully choose my battles. I fight those I can win. And make sure the ones I can't win are worth dying for." - Doctor Strange, Marvel EU.
265. "When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?" - Johan Öbrink.
265a. "Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway." - Andrew Tanenbaum, 1981.
266. "Did they add the position because the king's idiot son wanted to play?" - One Extremely Rational Harry Potter, about Seekers and Quidditch.
267. "No! This cannot be! This will not be! I will not let a von Zerbst, of all people, be my downfall! Well know this, Abraham! You could have saved her! But you chose to pursue me even when I damn well gave you the chance to rescue your wife! She was a bitch to the end… but now it’s more true than ever! You heard that howling, did you not? Viktoria von Zerbst… show yourself and kill your fool of a husband! Ah ha ha ha ha!" - Louis de la Vallière, the Bloody Duke from Overlady by EarthScorpion
268. "Curiosity did kill the cat, after all. And unless the cat happens to be the familiar of an epic-level spell caster, even a dragon youngling when acting smart and cunning is quite a bit harder to kill." - SakSak, 'In the Shadow of Zero part 2' thread, of curiosity.
268a. "Ignorance killed the cat, curiosity was framed." - The Unicorn.
269. "To make an analogy:
270. "Oh, Gamesverse. So many collapses. They're standing on the shoulders of so many giants that their heads are brushing the upper atmosphere. Or would be, had most of the giants not tripped one another up, stabbed each other in the kidney and generally fallen over in various different ways, in ages past. So what they're really standing on is a pile of giants' skeletons, some of which have still-spiky bits of ribcage and femur sticking out to gore whoever's currently on top in the ankle.
270a. "Game Theory is not merely a post-apocalypse setting. It's a post-post-post-etc-apocalypse setting, and some occasional post-singularity bits. " - Earth Scorpion
270b. "One of the things that Game Theory has as a major theme is that reality ensues, and that doing something crazy-awesome and insane... is crazy and insane, and doesn't have to work just because it's the hero doing it." - Aleph
270c. "Nanoha showed us that the Monsters of the Week could be a backdrop to the real meat of the plot, the character interaction, but then Madoka came along and showed us that the Monsters can still be legitimately, vividly scary. And Game Theory is very much a post-Madoka story, with the harsher rules and the scarier monsters and so on." - Aleph
270d. "My method for working out (Precia's) plan was basically to carefully consider all the variables she's aware of, and put together a strategy that takes all kinds of factors like those into account, and which could not possibly fail.
270e. "... I cannot tell you how awesome it is that my fic has got people saying that they hope the insane, child-abusing psycho villainess of the first season survives longer, because they want to see more of the character I've made her into. If ever there was evidence that a character reinterpretation has succeeded, I think that would be it. " - Aleph
271. "But mostly? The assorted plans at play here would be going very, very wrong due to the actions of a no-name, no-count, utterly talentless Magus by the name of Shirou Emiya. He had no magic worth mentioning, no combat experience of note, and no plan for or knowledge of the War he was about to enter. He did, however, have one trait that had derailed a countless number of such grand, far-reaching schemes throughout history.
272. "I just don't feel safe anymore. You know? At first it was like a story, and I was the heroine and helping people and saving a little girl's life. But now… everything's complicated, and the TSAB are meant to be good but they're doing bad things, and we're hiding and scared and… It's nothing like it is in the stories. " - Nanoha, describing the story's progression in a single heart-wrenching piece of dialogue.
273. "Whatever naïve innocence had sparked that attitude, it had already been broken. She knew – Heidi could see it – she knew that the world didn't always work like that, the kind of knowledge that came from personal experience. And yet she was trying anyway, determined to prevent a catastrophe by sheer willpower and effort. Heidi shivered. A look like that, the half-hidden hurt and guilt and age, did not belong in the eyes of a nine-year old. Freakish powers, unnatural strength, older than her years and yet still trying to be hopeful… who was this girl? " - Heidi, reflecting on Nanoha
274. "I wish things could have been different. Maybe… maybe in another life… " - Nanoha, during her last conversation with Yuuno.
275. "We need not go to Alhazred, children, because we no longer need them. I… I have rivalled, and possibly even exceeded their accomplishments! The Promethean mechanism I designed was not merely a form of life support like the tank, to keep her in stasis where her condition could not worsen. It was a full revival, bringing Alicia completely and entirely back into the world of the living. " - Precia, doing it thirty-five minutes ago.
276. "No, that was not a native. I refuse to believe that. For crying out loud, she has to be at least AA-rank! And with a Device, to boot. Not to mention the magic she was using - I certainly don't see any Mid-style academies on this world, do you?" - Chrono Harlaown
277. "Naruto Owns Your Soul and Teammates 101. Pay attention, there will be a quiz later." - How to Win Friends, Influence People
278. "Everyone thinks Aberforth Dumbledore is the cunning and ambitious one because he was sorted into Slytherin. Of course..."
278a. "The first act of any truly cunning Wizard upon arriving at Hogwarts is to arrange to not be sorted into Slytherin."
279. "Apparently there's a thriving trade in dangerous magical creatures down at the local pub..." - NMM from 'The Wizard and his lonely Princess'
280. "Nothing drives 'God-Tier' home like using Buckhuge Honkin' Space Rocks to practice Telekinesis." - TmDigger
281. "They were dealing with something far more dangerous than me, Harry Dresden, who's battered old Volkswagon was currently in the city impound. They were dealing with the potential dark lord nightmare warlock they'd been busy fearing since I turned sixteen. They were dealing with the wizard who had faced the Heirs of Kemmler riding a zombie dinosaur, and emerged victorious from a fight that had flattened Morgan and Captain Luccio before they had even reached it. They were dealing with the man who had dropped a challenge to the entire Senior Council, and who had then actually showed, apparently willing to fight - on the shores of an entirely too creepy island in the middle of a freshwater sea." - Harry Dresden, on wonders of not-quite-as-overblown-as-he-thinks reputation.
282. "No pony can tell if you're crying in the rain..." - Celestia, 'The Wizard and his Lonely Princess'.
283. "You pathetic turtles. All hiding in your shells because of fear. That's why you're nothing more than baby turtles. Ones who never freely put out their heads in fear of being eaten. I will go with him. I don't care what happens next. I never lose my prey. You can all just keep hiding in your shell and live a long life. " - Rak, 'Tower of God'
284. "But not to me. If Rachel isn't there, that place [the top of the Tower] is nothing more than a pile of garbage. No matter what's up there, it won't change. You told me that a being like I am is strange, but to me, you are a person that can't even find a single thing that's precious within that huge pile of garbage. I don't care what others say. I will climb the Tower. And if all of you aren't a bunch of liars, you better prepare what I want up there." - Baam, 'Tower of God'
285. "Let's fight. Just us, bad people." - Androssi to Hong Chunhwa and Des Lion after Baam called her out and left.
286. "Become the fence that protects Rachel. Always help her, be kind to her, and pretend to be "friends." But remember. Never get attached to her. Don't ever think of her as your friend. So that you can ignore her cries of pain one day. Despise her. Because she is the woman that killed my most precious friend." - Koon Agero Agnis, 'Tower of God'
287. "Six years ago, on the Floor of Test, we met the boy who would fulfill our wishes. No, actually, we had been waiting for him for a long time. He who opened the door to the Tower himself. He who is free from all contracts of the Tower. He who shall pierce the heart of the king and drench the Tower in blood... The Irregular. " - Hwa Ryun, 'Tower of God'
288. "I have something I fear...more than death." - Jyu Viole Grace, 'Tower of God' 2.31
289. "Did you say that you want to become stronger? I'll teach you... how to become a God." - Ha Jinsung, 'Tower of God' 2.36
290. "Everything I wanted, I... already had it." - Jyu Viole Grace, 'Tower of God'
291. "Even if I end up broken, if I can protect everyone else, I will do it. If I can to that, it doesn't matter to me if I break one day. I lost my reason for living a long time ago. " - Viole, 'Tower of God'
292. "Yeah, there weren't any lies. In his words, nor yours. You saved me under the 'Shadow' of a Quincy. You used Quincy blood and stopped mine from spilling. You borrowed Quincy power... and let the powerless me, win. Zangetsu. I have no idea who you really are... I'm sure you'd deny it, but in my eyes... You... and Him... I'm sure you're both... Zangetsu. Are you... okay with things being left like that? Zangetsu... Zangetsu, I won't ever ask for you... to lend me your strength anymore... I won't tell you to get out of my way... anymore... Nor will I ask you... to fight with me... From here on out... I fight alone... Thank you... Zangetsu. For you... are me... The Blade is Me." - Kurosaki Ichigo, chapter 542, 'Bleach'.
293. "Kirito and Klein just sitting on the porch, drinks in hand, simply sharing idle chatter, laughing at an off-color joke, or just a comfortable silence... Just being a couple guys, no battles, no disasters, just... peace." - Retsof, on 'HalkO'.
294. "This Galaxy is vast; its wonders and beauty are almost unfathomable. But the galaxy also hides dark secrets, some of which have lain dormant since the beginning of time itself. There is a danger in secrets, both in seeking and in knowing. Some things are meant to be hidden from view. Some mysteries defy understanding, and sometimes even the things we think we know are untrue. Some secrets should remain untouched." - Cortana, 'Halo'
295. "I am a monument to all your sins." - Gravemind, 'Halo'
296. "There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare." - Sun Tzu
297. "Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up." - Harry Dresden
298. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn (In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming)."
299. "If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person." - Fred Rogers
300. "Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us." - Squall Leonhart, Final Fantasy VIII
301. "Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference." - Jim Butcher, Vignette
302. "Beware the fury of a patient man." - John Dryden
303. "A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality." - Winston Churchill
304. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
305. "..." - Viole
306. "I'm not sure. Stars, thrones, skies, the outside world, I don't need any of those things. But if someone tries to hurt someone precious to me, I will fight." - Jyu Viole Grace, 'Tower of God' 2.32
307. "If there's anyone who has a problem with what I do, tell them to come find me. I'm not afraid of anyone." - Urek Mazino, 'Tower of God' 2.33
308. "I'll go with you. But if you try playing with my friends' lives like this again... I will kill all of you." - Jyu Viole Grace, 'Tower of God' 2.50
309. "What are you talking about? I never hesitated in the first place. Look forward to it. In tomorrow's tournament, I'll definitely bring Baam back to our side in a way even dirtier and more sinister then FUG." - Koon Auero Agnis, 'Tower of God' 2.67
310. "The magic is coming back...in a mushroom cloud...or twelve." - Da-Guru
311. "Your wizard is like Magikarp, except instead of Gyarados it evolves into Mewtwo." - DivineDragoonKain
312. "Bros before hoes except after c-cups." - The truth of Bleach, by Titte KUBO
313. "Your mind is software. Program it.
314. "My, who would've imagined a floating aircraft carrier?" - Lloyd Asplund, Code Geass
315. "You can not rise to every insult. But when you do, your response must be so epic that none who hear of it will dare risk your wrath."
316. "Uzumaki Naruto in 'White Rain' is usually a happy, friendly, and goofy Hokage. When he stops being happy, friendly, and goofy, property values in Kusagakure drop in a hurry."
317. "Now it's your turn to taste some terror of your own! I won't kill you outright, but I will show you just how horrifying the Getter Robo can be!" - Ryoma Nagarae, 'New Getter Robo'
318. "I understand the depth of your feelings, but don't you think you've had enough revenge?" - Hiro, 'Snow Crash'
318a. "There's no such thing as enough." - Raven, 'Snow Crash'
319. "Everyone deals with grief differently, right? Some people fuck at funerals. I cut off heads." - Travis Touchdown, 'No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle'
320. "'Vengeance is mine,' saith the Lord, but tonight, He is going to damn well have to share." - Caine Black Knife
321. "The formula is typically somewhat simple: find a guy that has a name, beat it out of him, proceed to track down that name, beat him for another name, repeat until ample revenge has been taken." - Something Awful Forums
322. "My armies are all slain. My castle lies in ruins. My enemies have taken everything from me, all my wealth and power. But they could not kill me. I still walk the earth, weak but alive. They have taken everything but the beating of my undead heart. Now they will learn of fear, these mewing babies who thought they could destroy me. I shall regain my powers, and I shall come to them in the night. And my visits shall not be kind." - Kain, Game Manual for 'Blood Omen 2'
323. "No more games. No more talking. I'm just here to kill you people." - Wolverine, 'Old Man Logan'
324. "The hands of death could not defeat me. The Sisters of Fate, could not hold me. And YOU will not see the end of this day! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" - Kratos, 'God Of War III'
325. "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." - Bryan Mills, 'Taken'
326. "I don't remember having felt this much hatred since the akki called K. The despicable Bakenezumi called Yakomaru will have to pay. I vow to subject him to agony no living being has ever suffered before as he dies a slow, protracted death." - Tomiko Asahina, 'From The New World'
327. "This is why we can't have nice things."
328. "Fairy Tales do not tell the children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy Tales tell children the dragons can be killed." - G. K. Chesterton
329. "There are times when people have to embrace the Darkness for the sake of the people they love'' - Kokuto
330. "Voilà! In View, a humble Vaudevillian Veteran, cast Vicariously as both Victim and Villain by the Vicissitudes of fate. This Visage, no mere Veneer of Vanity, is a Vestige of the Vox populi, now Vacant, Vanished. However, this Valorous Visitation of a bygone Vexation stands Vivified, and has Vowed to Vanquish these Venal and Virulent Vermin Vanguarding Vice and Vouchsafing the Violently Vicious and Voracious Violation of Volition! The only Verdict is Vengeance; a Vendetta held as a Votive, not in Vain, for the Value and Veracity of such shall one day Vindicate the Vigilant and the Virtuous. Verily, this Vichyssoise of Verbiage Veers most Verbose, so let me simply add that it's my Very good honour to meet you and you may call me V." - V, 'V for Vendetta'
330a. "Vi veri veniersum vivus vici" - By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe
331. "Meddle not in the affairs of X-COM, for you are dissectable and have useful technology." - Sithking Zero.
332. "How to counter: A combination of Battleships, Dreadnoughts, Ion Bombers, and prayers to your deity of choice." - From the Astro Empires Wiki entry for Death Star.
333. “Win and you get to rewrite the rules so that it was fair retroactively. Then laugh at the fools who complain about this.” - Shinji Ikari on cheating from the fic 'Thousand Shinji'.
334. "Why don't I get any competent henchmen? I offer excellent health benefits, educational opportunities, even a direct share in the enterprise. I even have a catchphrase! How does he manage it with just inspirational speeches? Emotional logic is barely any logic at all...!" - Kaworu Nagisa's line, from Charles Bhepin's story 'Shinji and Warhammer 40K'.
335. "First rule of combat... never say 'oops.' Say 'Ah, interesting.' That way you appear smart." - Fanfiction Author SPARTAN-251
336. "Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces[Oh Crap trope, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges."
337. "It is the fate of all banisters worth sliding down that there is something nasty waiting at the far end."
338. "Every man dies - Not every man really lives." - William Ross Wallace
339. "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching"
340. "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Winston Churchill
341. "Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (on his deathbed in response to a priest asking if he renounced Satan)
342. "Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves." - Chuck Palahniuk
343. "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte
344. "Every great oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground." - anonymous
345. "In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being 'Alive', 'Dead', and 'Bloody Furious'."
346. "If you could, would you?.. Be perfect?"
346a. "What? Of course not! Do you have any idea how-[ – lonely – ]-fucked up that would be? Besides, it'd be damn boring with no one able to challenge you. Perfection's overrated. I'd rather just be... Just... it's not like I want to be the strongest. I just want to be strong enough to protect the people I want to protect. And to do that, I can't just settle for good enough and leave it at that. I'm never going to be perfect, and I don't want to be. But... But I don't need to be. Perfection means you've stopped growing, means you can't go any further. Imperfection means you can keep on growing, keep on moving forward for as long as you want to."
347. "What does lineage matter in the end? On the battlefield, when they're bleeding out on the ground, the only thing they'll be praying for will be that the person their life is in the hands of will be both an ally and competent enough to save their ass."
348. "Doing the wrong things for the right reasons. " - Worm
349. "For the truly wronged, real satisfaction can only be found in one of two places: Absolute forgiveness, or mortal vindication. This is not a story about forgiveness." - Alexandria Lawton
350. "Unto all things, there is always an end. And a beginning. Always a beginning..."
351. "It doesn't have to make sense, we're ninja. We walk on water because it's easier than learning to swim." - Naruto from ch3 of 'Vulpine' by Saphroneth
352. "When the apocalypse happens, most run. Taylor takes advantage of the confusion to become nigh omniscient, then proceeds to bully the apocalypse to death." - No One in Particular on 30.6 of 'Worm'.
353. "It's kind of hard to beat 'Retcon myself out of existence to defeat the invincible god while also pretty much reviving everyone you love who has been lost.' on the BIG DAMN HERO meter."
354. "There're a lot of things to fear in the Nasuverse. Vampires, Gods, Godlike Vampires, Magical Servants, People with eyes that can literally kill anything, and, oh yes, worst of all... the goddamn maid." - one random Youtube rewiever.
355. "It's dead scary, supremly creepy and almost painful to watch. But it's also kinda awesome, yanno? 'Cause after hitting Rock Bottom, even if you race Full KUBO ahead on a Downhill road that leads God knows where... Any path open to you ends up going UP anyways." - Face in Night on 'New Beginning - The Alternate - III'
356. "Dākutaipu interacting with International Database for Cadet Representative. Firewall doused. Mood changed to ‘Victorious’. IS model found. Blue Tears, Third Generation, Area of Expertise located. Multiple Enemy Combat on long range fronts. Sniper-Type. Drone-Support Equalizers enabled. Combat Statistics of pilot A-rank. Confrontation would be fun. I accept the challenge." - on why DT is the best IS, from 'Dark Wings' c9
357. "As awesome as that was, I find the lack of tits disturbing." - Zeelthor on 'Devil Pact' by Nuhuh
358. "In the grim darkness of Nasuverse, everyone is a special snowflake." - daniel_gudman, on chargen for 'Fate/Revelation Online'
358a. "The Nasuverse has many rules governing everything. Pick one to break." - Spectrum
359. "We own the insurrection our survival as a species. Without the insurrection humankind would have been wildly unprepared for the Great War, and our defeat would have been assured." - Unknown ONI operative.
360. "Ah, Yu Shan. The only heaven in fiction that has bureaucratic turf wars. I love the feel of absurdity you've given to the place. Incidentally, this is the sort of nonsense Siderals have to deal with daily, or at least push onto somebody else so they can focus on their massive workload." - Azunth
360a. "Actually this is a common trope In eastern fiction, where heaven as a bureaucracy is a trope old enough to be called classic." - Satori
360b. "I knew eastern fiction had the heaven-as-bureaucracy trope since forever, but I didn't know they portrayed bureaucratic turf wars! I always thought it was a more unified, idealized bureaucracy." - Azunth
360c. "No, no. Pagan mythology, east or west, almost always portrayed the gods as humans writ large. Flaws included. Remember, after sending a middle level functionary to tell sun Wu kong off and it not working, heaven's next step was to try and buy him off with a low-end sinecure. Bribery is pretty much par for the course for most old timey gods.
YHWH occasionally having a prophets who insisted, to the faces of kings no less, that you had to try and meet a standard of righteousness instead of just buying of the guy upstairs with a nice hectacomb offering, was something of an aberration, one that confused the heck out of even his erstwhile worshipers, many of whom were culturally more familiar (and happy) with the bribery system.
There's a reason he kept having to smite them. Cultural change is hard." - Satori
361. "Enter as you should exit: with a bang, not a whimper"
362. "Friendships are built on self-interest." - Kautilya the Sagacious
363. "If you ever have a metal cube call the AllSpark don't drop it on something called the Death Star." - Uzumaki Naruto, The Infinite Loops
364. "The point I'm getting at here is, they're really smart, but part of their inherent nature also makes them really stupid at times. Up until the Exalted came along, they were powerful enough that nothing could really make them face the consequences of those stupid moments.
364a. "This is like comparing "Target-Fire-Forget-Kill" missiles (Original Solars) and the "Just Fire-Try To Steer The Fins-Then Forget What Was The Original Goal-Kill Yourself Accidentally With It" missiles that are the Infernals." - Durabys.
365. "All possibilities till now are just on the other side of the Light, only Fluctuating slightly. Only Fluctuating slightly..." - SAO WEB Epigraph.
366. "Right... you don't know who you are, but you have realized two very important things about yourself. One You are a Wizard. And Two, you are very good at punching people." - from Black Mage 3: Mage Harder by Mizuki_Stone
367. "Sadly, Lisa's powers does not generally go 'Well, it could be Taylor if a God came down from Heaven to brofist her for being awesome' and if it did, Lisa would probably raise an eyebrow at it." - Ryuugi on 'Zenith'
367a. "That's the first time I've ever heard exaltation described that way. I wanna sig that." - PKiller
368. "I choked on my drink from laughter, and I wasn't drinking anything." - Stargrave
369. "After a storm, God parted the clouds and put a rainbow in the sky, as the colorful symbol of his promise to Noah that he would never use the nerf bat on OP players again." - Fate/Revelation Online 11.1
370. "This is Berk. It's twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word? Sturdy. It's been here for seven generations but every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. Ya' see most places have mice, or mosquitoes... we have... Dragons." - Hiccup, Opening Narration.
370a. "Most people would leave. Not us. We're Vikings. We have... stubbornness issues." - Hiccup
370b. "My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know, but it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that." - Hiccup
370c. "This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year, and hails the other three. Any food that grows here, is tough, and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots... we have... dragons." - Hiccup, Closing Narration.
371. "They say the devil is in the details, but Blizzard says that dude needs an ass whipping. " - TOM, Toonami.
372. ""I came to a very important realization today," I said. "It doesn't matter what color the Great Hall is during the Leaving Feast, or who gets bragging rights for the next year. What matters is that I am the one who decides." - Seventh Horcrux, a Voldemort Comedy by Emerald Ashes
373. "Back then... I cursed my body every day for not letting me to die, but it was because you were with me that I chose to try and keep living..." - Alucard
374. "I'm a little confused as to what exactly is going on here. Did Taylor get replaced by an alternate universe version of herself? Did she go from the Locker to the 40K universe, spend a few hundred years and then get stuck back in the Locker?
Still, I love the idea of mixing some 40K into Worm. The whole appeal to me for 40K is the fact that mankind is screwed. Their best days are far behind them, their technology base is slowly crumbling never to return, they're surrounded by terrifyingly powerful enemies on all sides and beset from within by traitors, cultists and heretics. Mankind's days are numbered, but despite everything they refuse to give in and die quietly. The Imperium perseveres against all odds, and if the day ever comes where mankind finally falls they're going to leave on big ass whole when they go.
Worm and 40K are both dieing worlds, but while Worm is barely managing to avoid getting swallowed up, 40K is busy stabbing Death in the eye with a chainsaw.
Besides, there is no problem that cannot be solved with the appropriate application of lasfire." - .IronSoul. on Aquilla - a Worm/WH40K xover.
375. "We're a planet of over six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants." - Dilbert
376. "Just walk about like you own the place. Always works for me." - The Doctor, Doctor Who, "The Shakespeare Code"
377. "Military bases were much like beehives: It was very difficult to get inside, but once you were in everyone just sort of assumed you'd been cleared by management and let you go about your business." - Good Omens
378. ""You’re promoted," Kaladin said. "If anyone asks, you’ve been given a field commission as commander of the rear guard. If anyone claims to outrank you, send them to me."
378a. "Your men won’t leave without you, and my men won’t leave without them. So you will get on your horse and we will escape this death-trap. Do you understand?" - Kaladin, again, now ordering around Dalinar, highprince and general of the army he's rescuing.
379. "Key to sneaking into places: act like you're supposed to be there." - Avatar Extras, 'The King Of Omashu'
380. "They're madmen! They've gone down to the detention level! If you hurry, you could still catch them!" - C-3PO, to a squad of Stormtroopers.
381. "We pollute our atmosphere to weed out the weak. We detonate fission weapons in our only biosphere. We nailed our God to a stick! You Don't Fuck With the Human Race!" - RebelsDawn, on Humanity.
382. "Asuka stares at him, as if trying to somehow imagine him. With the pedobeard and the orange glasses. And the desperate air of manchild hanging over him, but she fails. She fails hard. “Sounds legit,” she murmurs. She tries to imagine the Angel War with Shinji- Space Future Hero Shinji- as the Commander of NERV. “If that's all I'm gonna head to my bunk-”" - GreggHL, 'Long Night of the Harvest'
383. "You have encountered one of the banes of computer programmers everywhere: the off-by-one error." - RadiantPhoenix
384. "The game is fully aware that most gamers are dickheads and if you give them any kind of freedom, their first instinct will be to abuse it. If you give them guns, they will shoot old ladies. If you give them cars, they will run over old ladies. If you give them aircraft, they will ascend to the highest possible heights and hurl themselves out onto an old lady. And if you give them customizable outfits, their first instinct will be to take off their clothes and run around the streets hip thrusting in the faces of old ladies." - Zero Punctuation on 'Saints Row 2'
385. "It's troubling that the symbol for "poison" and the symbol for "pirate" are the same. Sure, it saves printing costs if you're a poison pirate, but what about the rest of us?" - Brunching Shuttlecocks, "Danger Symbols, Part 1"
386. "C.C.: "Do you know what would be great right now?"
387. "Chicken Infested is a flaw from Dragon Magazine. Available only to commoners, it gives the commoner a 50% chance, whenever they draw an item, to get a chicken.
388. "His buffs and updates to his moves in the more recent games have actually allowed Dan to become a legitimate choice in the tournament setting, to the point that players say that Dan's greatest strength is the illusion that he's supposed to be bad." - The Street Fighter Wiki on Dan Hibiki
389. "People always think the "heart" kid was ripped off, but imagine how he's doing now that he's thirty and cruising the bar scene... "Hey pretty lady, can I buy you a drink?" "No thanks, I'm just waiting for—" "HEART!" "Forget the drink, let's go out back right now!"" - io9 commenter
390. "He can read minds? The power of Heart lets him read minds? That doesn't make him useless, that actually makes him more valuable!" - Linkara, Atop the Fourth Wall
391. "... and heart is the only superpower you need." - Aquaman, shortly before singing about it, on Batman: The Brave and the Bold.
392. "Aquaman is the King of Atlantis, a domain which encompasses the entire ocean. He owns 70% of the planet. He is super strong, super fast, and he can summon Cthulhu to eat your soul if he felt like it. I don't make fun of Aquaman." - Linkara, on how "useless" Aquaman is.
393. "If anything, this situation is very illuminating, in terms of how bad some parahumans might be in a worst case scenario. There are some powers that are tame at first glance, but utterly disastrous if left unchecked. " - Miss Militia, Worm
394. "Writing mainstream fiction is rather like playing a beautifully tuned grand piano. it's a wonderful experience and you can get a great sound out of it. Writing science fiction is like playing a gigantic church organ, one with four keyboards, two more keyboards for your feet, a hundred different switches and a load of stops to pull out, because pulling out all the stops is very important." - Iain M Banks
395. "Shepard Quest: The only quest where the Omake's are hard math." - Alanek2002 on 'Shepard Quest' by Esbilon
396. "The kid in front of me! You’re probably… what, 13? 14? Spiky black anime hair, the lean muscle you like to tell yourself you have instead of your stick-figure body, the solid chuuni-black ensemble… Your clothes couldn’t say ‘Wannabe Edgy Teenager’ louder if I wrote it on your back!" -
397. "Yuuno: genius barrier warrior, archeology wunderkind, and ferret enthusiast." - Guile
398. "But, I've got good news for you. There's no need to wonder where your God is. He's right here, and he's fresh out of mercy." - Abridged!Kirito
399. "Antilochus! You're the most appalling driver in the world! Go to hell!" - Homer, The Iliad.
400. "He looked like he’d looked into the Abyss and the Abyss had spat Skitter at him." - RedPockets
401. "Slytherin, the Hat had almost put him in, and his similarity to Slytherin's heir Riddle himself had commented on. But he was beginning to think that this wasn't because he had "un-Gryffindor" qualities that fit only in Slytherin, but because the two houses – normally pictured as opposites – were in some fundamental ways quite similar.
402. "Eh, why not? My mom always says, "strangers are just friends you haven't met yet."" - Jaune Arc, RWBY v1e2
403. "I don't need people to help me grow up! I drink milk!" - Ruby Rose, RWBY v1e4
404. "Never let anyone tell you that something is impossible." - Monty Oum, Words to live by
405. "You should hate someone because they're an asshole, or a pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant or an idiot or know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or because they're Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag." - Church
406. "After the fifth time that little girl broke into the palace and made off with you to play in the forest, your father has very little illusions about the ability of your guards to protect you. It's bizarre actually. Individually, all of these men are top notch, but give them matching uniforms and imperial masks and suddenly they're mooks." - Enohthree
407. "It's like he's playing a game of poker against his opponents. A game in which both sides can see the others hand, and Zhang is drawing from a deck of tarot cards." - Colorblind on Zhao Zhang from 'A GeeksGuide 3:Eastern Rhapsody' quest.
407a. "You know, even before I read your second sentence, I thought: yes, but Zhang is playing with "Magic, the Gathering" deck." - tenchifew.
407b. "I thought Zhang is playing with mismatched Pokemon/Yugioh cards." - LONE WOLF 666.
407c. ""I summon Blue Eyes White Dragon!"
408. "Does Wrex suspect that these "Asari" are not actually Asari? As someone else pointed out, he's far smarter than most people give him credit for and he managed to get a glimpse underneath the helmet on the Harsa." - 40thousandninjas on 'Psi-Effect'
408a. "No reason to. Humans are ridiculously close to Asari... particularly if you can't see the tentacles. I mean, seriously, the next most Asari-looking race after Humanity (least deviations in limb structure and facial structure) is the Drell and it goes downhill from there.
Asari supersoldiers from an eezo-poor world where natural biotics are impossible and the locals started cracking open every single taboo field of research to compansate? Cybernetics, mind-machine interface, genetic tinkering, awakening and perfecting latent Ardat-Yakshi genes to circumvent eezo requirements? Its the logical thing all lines of inquiry will point at regardless of how smart you are.
Which is particularly weird because, to the Asari, this is effectively a covert invasion from a forgotten Nazi moon base led by immortal vampire cyborg Hitler.
And what is even weirder? That assumption makes them better suited to prep against humanity than any other they are likely to come upon." - Hectonkhyres.
409. "Shirou is a psychopath of his own design in that he takes everything to the very extreme. Want to help other? Sure, let's fucking crank that shit to 11 and just help everyone uncaring of whether or not they're taking advantage of you. Want to save other? Sure, let's fucking cover a superhuman spiritual construct with own body as another bigger, more superhuman spiritual construct is swinging his gigantic axe sword at her. Want to abandon everything that you believe in your entire life in order to protect the woman you love? Well shit son, you better make sure not a damn thing even breathe a wrong way in her direction, god knows you just went and murder the incarnation of world's evil and fisticuffed a goddamn zombie priest not an hour ago for her." - arsdraconis.
410. "They're basically demonic Wallmart, only less evil." - Mizuki_Stone, quite nicely summing up DxD Devils.
411. "Is it better to outmonster the monster or be quietly devoured?" - Derain Von Harken.
412. "Sure, he didn't know he was my friend yet, and I'd probably need to knock some sense into him again, but what was a little face punching between bros, right?" - Naruto in 'Maelstrom Games' by Probellum.
413. "I thought it was a tad sad that I apparently had to cheat to make sure I lost, though. It would be suspicious if all I ever did was win and fold, so I had taken to using sleight of hand to ensure I lost some hands every now and then. After all, I had finally been able to start playing poker with other people again. There was no reason to risk it." - Naruto on perils of having Devils Own Luck in 'Peacekeeper' by Probellum.
414. "The room is filled with people, but everyone is dead silent. And all we can hear is footsteps as they walk out on stage. All they hear, of course, is *thump*thump* *thump*thump* from their heartbeats. And then, right before the music starts, there's this sharp inhale…" — Danny O'Donoghue, Coach for The Voice UK.
415. "When somebody comes with this study result telling me it takes 54,000 metric tons to go and do something interstellar within 50 years, that just tells me we need to be looking at some other loopholes in physics to see if we can find some other ways to make it a little bit more tractable," - Dr. Harold White, Advanced Propulsion Team lead, Johnson Space Center 2012 during an interview.
416. "Ramiel is reminded that internally consistent physics is the right of all sapient beings." - Sorain
417. "Imagine two enemy factions within a large govenment bureaucracy agency fighting an escalating war over paperwork. It starts with minor alterations to documents, copy pasting forms, running marker pens through lines, ect.
Then as it escalates the editing becomes more aggressive, entire document trails are edited and changed to suit one faction or harm the others efforts. Mass copy pasting of documents is attempted to keep some copies safe from enemy edits. The war escalates further till the factions are outright burning up entire documents, filing cabinets, throwing ink at stacks of documents.
When this escalation occurs continuity of document trails breaks down, edits deletions, additions and copy pasting creates self referential document trails that seem to have no beginning and expand on their own. The various burocrats involved in the war are horrifed and confused by these entities but they attempt to weaponise them, they create edits and targeted deletions to force the abominations to ensnare enemy documentation causing chaos.
The abominations continue to grow, documentation history falls apart and splinters, endless repeating loops, chaos. For the various other emploies not involved in the war who just want to request a file or store something its hell. Nothing can get done, entire agencies up and disappear, some are stuck in loops.
Both the fighting factions are getting fed up, on both sides there are plans formed to take every intact document copy they have and run off to another building, or destroy all the documentation outright and rewrite it the way they see fit.
But before either side can enact their ultimate plans that one creepy loner shows up in that ancient blue piece of junk car he drives; bars all the doors to the building trapping both factions in one annex, and burns the whole fucking thing down with them inside. A few mad bastards manage to jump out the windows on fire and run away screaming but mostly everyone is killed off.
Thats pretty much the timewar, but instead of bits of paper its timelines, histories and events.
It started out small with minor edits to improve the factions favour in various events, then it escalated to deleting entire events, histories and base attempts at deleting eachother entirely from reality. Both sides employ copypasting of timelines "billions being killed and resurected to die again in endless battle", there were apparently millions of copies of Scaro. Self referential timelines (loops) with no begining or end are created, semi sentient abominations are born that are made of timelines and eat histories. The Timelords and Daleks weaponise these and set them upon each other. Time falls apart into chaos, both sides write up plans to escape and start over (Final sanction and reality bomb) but the Doctor shows up, traps both factions and timelocks the entire section of time that was inhabited by the Daleks and Timelords so they cannot escape and deletes the whole lot." - Wetapunga.
418. "At five years old, Yui Ikari emphatically realized that there was no God. While for most, this realization leads either to relief or despair, it was telling for the future paths she would take that what Yui Ikari realized was that there was a vacancy." - GreggHL on my new NGE Headcanon.
419. "This? This is good stuff. Kudos to you good sir/madam/asexual-pokemon-thing." - Pax_Empyrean, in response to awesome omake.
420. "On Sinon, I don't think she ever really liked Kirito romantically. She's basically a girl bro, they kick ass together and troll each other for fun. That's all there is to their relationship." - veekie.
420a. "Which is what bugs me about how that "think of me!" scene was depicted in the show. In the novel, right after that, Kirito sees Sinon's tail bouncing up and down as she tries to suppress laughter, and he realizes she trolled him so hard--ostensibly to get back at him for pulling her tail earlier.
420b. "Well, the director apparently ships Kirito x Sinon (or Sinon's ass x Kirito), so he may have intended for that to be actually romantic or something." - Soulgazer.
420c. "But doesn't that make it even stranger? This would have been a perfect time for an ass-shot since, you know, tail." - Mahrac.
420d. "Maybe. Maybe it's the same way they intended Kirito throwing Excaliber away to be dramatic...instead of him just chucking it while the platform slowly... floats... down... with all the urgency of an old couple on an evening stroll." - Muphrid.
421. "#Completely Objectize All Items#? All Items? How much is All?*terrifying realization starts to set in*" - Asuna from chapter 11 of manga 'Sword Art Online: Progressive'.
421a. "Completely means... Everything.*as different but no less terrifying realization sets in as assorted underwear piles on* Everything, generally might be Nothing!" - Kirito, in response to previous question, giving zero f*cks.
421b. "Hey... Hey You... *aura of DOOM is on* Could it be that you wanted to die so badly... that you wanted me to kill you...?" - Asuna, but a few seconds later.
421c. "It can't be!" - Kirito answers, while digging for 'gold' in mountain of said girl's underwear.
422. "Primate Murder gets its name because it kills primates (i.e. HUMANS), not because it is a Sinister Slaughter-Simian like, say, Senbrek." - Cornuthaum.
422a. "And from now on, Erymanthus are no longer called 'Blood Apes'. Instead, they shall be called Sinister Slaughter Simians." - Nervaqus987.
422b. "That should be Musical Sinister Slaughter Simians. Remember that because of the need to ward of the Silent Wind most demons are virtuosos of music.
422c. "Figure out a synonym for Musical that starts with an "S" and we'll talk." - Nervaqus987.
422d. "Or it could be the Musically Menacing Murderous Monkey." - Ct613hulu.
422e. "Maybe Musically Menacing Murderous Monkey Monks?" - Fictiondevourer.
423. "Presenting the adventures of Emiya Shirou, Slayer, and his coadjutator Senbrek, the Symphonic Sinister Slaughter Simian." - Olive.
424. "Hey cool. A free baby." - even years from then, Dumbledore would swear that those five odd words would haunt his dreams for a vast and ever growing number of different reasons. From the best omake ever.
425. "The Nintendo Gameboy has prevented more teen pregnancies than any contraceptive device." - Kamui4356.
426. "So, does Jain Devar have the power to spontaneously make people sing and dance with perfect choreography on the street?" - LGear.
426a. "Duh. What do you think his Title [Lord of the Dance] does?" - BozarBoy.
427. "You mean...we've finally entered a situation where murdering our way out isn't ideal? ... FUCK." - Van Ropen, on 'A Geek's Guide: Eastern Rhapsody' week 21 by Sage_Of_Eyes.
428. "Exactly! Running an empire is just like running a farm. In fact. It should be easier! People are less stubborn than cattle after all. *Nods sagely*" - Inglorien.
429. "Because they would fight over who will thrust the object within the virgin area of an underage boy until it would achieve a deep enough level of penetration." - Zaralann.
430. "A master of Genjutsu is able to make every detail seem real since the smallest imperfection will alert their victim that something is wrong. Our subject skips all that and just focuses on making one detail of the real world seem wrong. While the high level ninja is trying to dispel things, he takes advantage of their distraction to do whatever, stab them in the nut sack or something." - on one particular Naruto.
431. "It's not the EVA that goes berserk, it's Shinji."
432. "FOOF has been called 'Satan's kimchi'. There is a reason for that: it hates the thought that there might be things that aren't on fire." - Minister of Geekdom.
433. "It's just you and me against the world...We attack at dawn." - Mandy, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
434. "You either die a Hero, or live long enough to become the Villain." - Nobudi.
435. "It was his turn to trail off as he also probably realized that was a stupid question—my mother and I were missing three limbs and a body between us." - Ryuugi's 'The Games We Play' Bed Rest chapter.
435a. "You know you're in trouble when the Elric brothers have twice as many limbs left as you do." - Pax_Empyrean.
436. "But that's, like, expecting people on the internet - not characters in the fic itself - to be perfectly logical. That just doesn't happen right? Especially from RWBY fans, which AFAIK have a rep of being crazy-ish shippers." - Flere821.
436a. "Says Flere, who is _totally_ not a (crazy-ish) shipper. Which is actually rather oddly enough, technically true in some ways." - Angurvddel.
436b. "Flere's shipping tends to be properly thought out and well written. It doesn't matter much to me if someone is a hardcore shipper or not, so long as they can write well." - Pax_Empyrean.
436c. "Well, that's not quite what I was saying really.
436d. "New term Coined: to Fleet. To Ship on a truly epic scale." - SoulessScotsman.
437. "...Entirely aside from that he's made the classic Lex Luthor error. He's forgotten that Superman really is fast enough to fly around the Earth, find both missiles, catch them, and then bring them back to his base (all within a few seconds) to ask him if he got the right ones." - Brellin, on why some hypothetical 'vs' scenarios just don't work.
438. "There's a lot of discussion about whether people could figure out that Jaune is Jian, but I think that particular concern is also becoming less relevant as time goes on.
His friends already know. His mother already knows. He'll probably tell his sisters soon. Ozpin knows. Raven doesn't know, but his real identity is a member of a faction that recently agreed to support the White Fang through a deal that he brokered, so it's not like his loyalties would be called into question by this. The two groups that don't know, but which could possibly do something about it, are the Councils (not including Mistral's, which wouldn't care) and the Schnee. The Councils are an important consideration since they are the governments of the various kingdoms (which is kind of a dumb term for a State that doesn't actually have a king or any other sort of actual monarchy), but a short discussion would hamstring any serious efforts at apprehending him. Something along the lines of "I know we're running out of Dust, and I'm your best shot at fixing this" would probably be sufficient to get them to leave him alone unofficially, and if it wasn't he could simply blackmail them with the information. "If I disappear, my associates will make this information public." He might even be able to get an official pardon out of it if he plays his cards right; maybe offer to run missions for Ozpin, like he's not doing that already?
The Schnee would probably take it upon themselves to try to catch or kill him, but I really doubt they could even inconvenience Jaune to any serious degree even with their best hardware. "Oh no, giant level 43 spider bots, whatever shall I do?" The blackmail route might be sufficient to get them off his back, too.
But suppose that that isn't enough either; Jaune could make some really credible threats if he wanted to. The Schnee really can't stop him from going basically anywhere he wants, so if Jaune decides to send them a picture of himself hiding under Papa Schnee's bed while he's sleeping in it, he could do that. Leave a note on his pillow that says "You're still alive only because I don't want to kill you." Maybe send pictures of himself inside a variety of secure Schnee installations. Raid mining towns all over the globe with Raven; I'm sure the White Fang could always use more Dust, right?
If all else fails, kidnap Weiss. Not for long, of course; just take her across town, buy her an ice cream cone (always pays to be polite!) and give her cab fare, then let her go. Do this at the same time every day for a week or so just to show them the futility of their security measures when faced with someone who can hop dimensions at will. They'd back off. Kidnapping Weiss always works." - Pax_Empyrean, on why, sometimes, being internationally wanted terrorist is a pretty sweet gig.
438a. "Wait, Jian Bing threatened your dad into backing off by taking you on dates?" - Demotivator, Yang Xiao Long in a nutshell.
439. "They had a choice. Like every choice you ever make it was influenced by outside factors. That doesn't mean that it wasn't a choice. Given how highly Jaune's mother prioritized the survival of her children, I think she would be fully supportive of any of them deciding to be something other than a rockstar superhero magical kung fu wizard badass. And yet, for whatever reason, they all decided that that sounded like a cooler career than being an accountant or something. " - Pax_Empyrean on Ryuugi's 'The Games We Play'.
439a. "The problem with calling her a child abuser is that you are imposing your cultural viewpoint onto the characters, who have a different cultural backdrop. There is a reason why Hunters have pretty much free range to train their children. It is because it saves a lot of lives." - MissWindu422.
439b. "Right. Given that Hunters tend to get killed and Isabelle's children are all still alive, you could make the case that not subjecting your children to the training necessary to keep them alive is neglectful.
440. "For some reason the image of Unit-1 laying on the Presidium smoking a cigarette besides Sovereign who is crying in fetal position while everyone stares in horror.
Except for Shinji, he is inside of the Entry Plug playing solitaire.
With real cards." - shadowemt, on 'Long Night of Hravest'... 'nuff said.
440a. "And remember, the practical differences between Gendo and a sufficiently motivated Shinji are virtually zero." - Gond and the Snake.
441. "She gets one freebie. See, we get her hooked with a legitimate usage, then we string her out for the rest. It's like a drug. We're peddling moe, here." - Aegir, The Price of Power thread.
441a. "That's a siggable line, right there." - CrossyCross.
442. "Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." - Javik, Mass Effect.
443. "A little bit of courage is the real magic we need." - Negi Springfield
443a. "...And a finishing strike. If you're a man, having a killing strike or two is a must." - Jack Rakan.
444. "The fact there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers."
Kuchiyose: Banshou Tanho [Summoning: All Creation in One Step] C-rank jutsu. Extenshion of Kage Bunshin no Jutsu that allows clone to summon its creator 'into' its current position. In process clone sacrifices its own existence and returns its remaining chakra(as well as memories) to creator. It is possible to refine jutsu to the point when user replaces clone so seamlessly that for outside observer nothing seems to happen at all.
A D&D Spells Not Worth Memorizing:
20 Bad Lighting
41 Can Trip (And does!)
74 Dalamar's Whoopee Cushion (things that make you go hmmmm)
111 Earthly Chorus
124 Face Grasp
150 Gaze at Reflection
159 Hair Extension I, II, III
173 Illusion Debugger (for Badly Programmed Illusions)
188 Kender Summoning I, II, III
194 Legend Bore
216 Maggot Missle
256 Nahal's Banana Peel (appears under random ally's foot)
260 Otiluke's Happy Fun Sphere
265 Paraphrase Magic
295 Rainbow Enhancer
316 Sepia Cake Sigil
336 Tape Mount
371 Undefined Symbol
378 Vampiric Breathing (perfect for harassing phone calls)
395 You Wish!
396 ZX-Spectral Force
Dresden Alert Levels:
Dresden regained snark: Alert over.
Key of Revelation - Ten bulls of Zen:
1. In the pasture of this world, I endlessly push aside the tall grasses in search of the bull. Following unnamed rivers, lost upon the interpenetrating paths of distant mountains, my strength failing and my vitality exhausted, I cannot find the bull. I only hear the locusts chirping through the forest at night.
2. Along the riverbank under the trees, I discover footprints! Even under the fragrant grass I see his prints. Deep in remote mountains they are found. These traces no more can be hidden than one's nose, looking heavenward.
3. I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore, here no bull can hide! What artist can draw that massive head, those majestic horns?
4. I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
5. The whip and rope are necessary, else he might stray off down some dusty road. Being well trained, he becomes naturally gentle. Then, unfettered, he obeys his master.
6. Mounting the bull, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
7. Astride the bull, I reach home. I am serene. The bull too can rest. The dawn has come. In blissful repose, within my thatched dwelling I have abandoned the whip and rope.
8. Whip, rope, person, and bull - all merge in nothing. This heaven is so vast no message can stain it. How may a snowflake exist in a raging fire? Here are the footprints of the patriarchs.
9. Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with that without - the river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red.
10. Barefooted and naked of breast, I mingle with the people of the world... My clothes are ragged and dust-laden, and I am ever blissful. I use no magic to extend my life; Now, before me, the dead trees become alive.
Murphy's War Law:
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
9. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
10. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
11. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
12. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
13. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
14. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
15. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
16. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
17. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
18. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
19. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
20. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
21. The easy way is always mined.
22. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
23. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire... For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
24. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
25. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
26. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
27. Incoming fire has the right of way.
28. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
29. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
30. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
31. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
32. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
33. Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.
34. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
35. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both).
36. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
37. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
38. Tracers work both ways.
39. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
40. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
41. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
42. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
43. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
44. Weather ain't neutral.
45. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
46. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.'
47. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
48. Napalm is an area support weapon.
49. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
50. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
51. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
53. The one item you need is always in short supply.
54. Interchangeable parts aren't.
55. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
56. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
57. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
59. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
60. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
61. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
62. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
63. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
64. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
65. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
66. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
67. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
68. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss.
69. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
70. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
71. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
72. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
73. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
74. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
75. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp).
76. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
77. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
78. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
79. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
80. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism, to steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
81. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
82. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that bill is filled by someone else.
83. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack, when you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
84. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
85. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
86. Murphy was a grunt.
87. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
88. Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
89. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
90. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
91. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
92. The crucial round is a dud.
93. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
94. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
95. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
96. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you, if your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it, if your flank march is going well the enemy expects you to outflank him.
97. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
98. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
99. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
100. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
101. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
102. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
103. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
104. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands right at your feet.
105. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
106. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
107. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
108. Walking point = sniper bait.
109. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
110. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
111. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
112. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
113. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
114. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
115. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
116. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
117. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
118. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
119. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss.
120. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants, if they can see you, so can the enemy... All or any of the above combined.
121. Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.
122. Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.
123. Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit.
124. Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed.
125. A half filled canteen is a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon.
126. When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.
127. It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.
128. If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.
129. If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too.
130. Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too.
131. Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.
132. There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both.
133. Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case."
134. You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.
135. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up.
136. You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services.
137. You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right.
138. Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep.
139. "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms.
140. Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
141. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.
142. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
143. Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
144. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
145. If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.
146. Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
147. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
148. If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
149. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them.
150. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
151. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
152. Being shot hurts.
153. Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day, a few were even awarded.
154. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
155. C-4 can make a dull day fun.
156. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
157. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils.
158. If you lose you don't care.
159. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, what is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem.
160. Always make sure someone has a can opener.
161. Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.
162. Flying is better than walking, walking is better than running, running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying.
163. If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either.
164. Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is NOT A GOOD IDEA!
165. As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"
I know what you're thinking... Did I fire six shots or only five? To tell you the truth, I forgot it myself in all this excitement.
This here's a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it can blow your head clean off. Now, you must ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?
Well, do you, punk?
Full trace, release!"
"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."
"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."
...if the whole thing is enclosed, with just a non-lethal barrier for a floor, it'd end up being balanced on top of the building... Meaning it could tip over if somebody demolished it right...
...then the ninja could just keep rotating the damn thing like a demented, flaming Katamari, all while the inside hosts a Kage-level showdown...
A short snippet on what happens when you cross Battlestar Galactica 2003 and Warhammer 40k:
Theme invasion of Agra Secundus began. The ships massed over the planet, sending down wave after wave of ships to pacify the small emhuman population. And this is how it was for several months.
Eventually, a small Imperial battle group was alerted to the situation on the planet. Not because the invasion had any great importance. But because the ships were going that way anyway so they might as well stop for a bit to clean it up.
Private Gartz's face was lit up from the red light of lasfire as he sprayed his lasgun into the enemy encampment.
He and a regiment of the Verhoven 468th had arrived with the ships to clean out any ground infestations of the xenos. And there were a lot of them. The xenos had sure been busy!
A few bursts of machine gun fire answered him, woefully off target. The xenos were using primitive slug-throwers, which had a range far inferior to their lasguns. He curled his lip in disgust as what seemed to be a human was mown down, severed in half.
They weren't real humans though. The true xenos, the metal men, had grown them somehow. It was disgusting. Not only did the xenos dare to set foot on a human planet, they went even further by daring to despoil the sacred human form.
Their blasphemy knew no bounds.
Fortunately, Gartz thought as he blew a large hole in one of the metal things, they died easily. Real easily
He turned to Private Constantin beside him.
"When was the last time we actually fought something which died when you shot it with a laser?"
He thought back. Before this, they had helped in cleansing a Tyranid infestation, before that, a small force of Traitor Marines, before that, a fledgling waagh of Orks, before that…
"Actually, I don't think we ever have before now."
Constantin nodded as he blew the head off another Centurion.
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
All that is gold does not glitter,
- JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings