Author has written 8 stories for Naruto, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Dark-Hunter series, Final Fantasy VII, Harry Potter, King Kong, and Hellboy.
Name: You can call me EiYA
Birthday: August 19, 1990
Hair: Naturally, Ash Brown (Though my mom calls is "dead mouse"). For the moment, tho, Black.
Weight: 112lbs. (Yay! I gained weight! You might look at this and think I'm crazy, but compared to the 108lbs that I weighed for the longest time, it is an improvement, small tho it is. My mom hates that I weigh so little since she lost her girlish figure when my twin and I were born. It's good that I've gained a bit of fluff. Not enough to keep me warm in winter or fill out my bra, but eh, can't have everything)
Current Location: My Skull Cave, somewhere in the middle of a desert in the Wild Wild West.
Other Stuff About Me: I'm a twin. I have an identical twin sister Something-TheMonkey that is 4 minutes younger than me. I honestly have no freakin' idea how ppl can get us mixed up, since she has her hair short (well, past her shoulders, but it's shorter than my hair so I call it short)and black/auburn. Well, she grew out the black and then dyed it and then grew it out again, so it's actually more of a mix of black/auburn/brown with these gold and red highlights that are apparently natural for us (been awhile since I saw my natural, ya know). My hair is long (to my butt) and black, kinda like Wednesday Addams (I even do my hair in the two braids sometimes ;P).
She is also a tom-boy/goth/emo/nerd (depends what day of the week it is), while I would be considered a nerd or a punk or even a prep, I guess, if it wasn't for the fact that I am very morbid, a little (ok, maybe a lot) crazy, and the color pink makes me sick (unless there's plenty of black or green to drown it out).
Um, I've been homeschooled since I was 6 (Thank you, God, that I'm no longer in high school! Now I just have to deal with the horrors of college ugh!), so I have never really had any friends except for those online. This means -for those of you social-people (cringe) who wouldn't understand- that I hate meeting people, talking to people, or even leaving my room, with a deathly passion. It's also the reason I stutter in front of the people I do meet and am forced to talk to.
I'm right now in college, and am planning on doing all I can to get a Masters in Foreign Languages, specifically French, German, and Japanese. I'm also hoping to get at least a bachelors in History.
I love books, actually preferring them to tv, and because of this I have a rather wide variety of seemingly random info in my skull. Such as, I know almost everything about Jack the Ripper, whom I admire (not cuz he killed woman, but because he had never been caught. His level of cunning and ingenuity is astounding!) I also have a great bit of knowledge of crime scene investigation and forensic anthropology, which I may choose to use in a fanfic. Not sure when, though.
I don't really like video games. Shocking, I know. My twin is the one that likes them, that's where her being a nerd comes from. She'll play practically anything that strikes her interest, while I'll only play FFVIII and Kingdom Hearts 1&2 when the mood hits me (i.e. when she spends more than one night somewhere. Fun twin fact! We can't be apart floor more than a night without getting insomnia.). I do, however, like to watch her play video games, so if I ever decide to write a fanfic for any game I'll know the proper info needed.
I love working with my hands. And before you people with the twisted minds can finish your twisted thoughts, let me clarify. I like doing crafts, making jewelry, embroidery, crochet (yes, I crochet. And no, my grandmother didn't teach me. Haven't seen that bat touch yarn in... never... I learned from Mamma, so nyah), cross stitch, and finally sewing. Yes, sewing. I've been making my own (doll)clothes since I was four. I even had my very-own nun-Barbie!:D
I also love languages (kinda apparent by my Major, tho). I'm best at written languages, but I can do alright speaking them in a pinch. Right now, I am very good at Japanese, passable at French, reasonably well at Ancient Egyptian and Hieroglyphics, fluent in AlBhed (yes, from FFX. Bit rusty tho since I haven't used it in a long time), know a smattering of Romanian, have dabbled in Sumerian, and am pretty good at (don't laugh) Elvish, both Quenya and Sindarin (this is why my twin says I'm a nerd).
Also, and this may be very shocking to some ppl, I have never had a boyfriend (Le GASP!! She's 24 and has never had a date!? Yup, it's about as believable as Liberace being straight, but it's true... about the no boyfriend thing. Not Liberace. Cuz he was so totally queer, he made Slinky's look straight). I've never even been kissed and, I'm pretty sure this is already glaringly apparent, am a virgin (and proud of it, too! Power to the virgins!!;P). And for anyone that thinks this means I shouldn't write romance... screw you and the horse you rode in on! I'll write what I want, dammit!
Y'know, I've been staring at this list for weeks, wondering when I'll actually get off my cute tushy and get with making this pairings reality, and I've kinda accepted that it ain't gonna happen for some of these. But, since I so desperately want to see some of these pairings appear (whether in my work or not) I've decided to change this section to a sorta Challenge Board, or whatever.
Basically, I challenge anyone interested to write these pairings. You'll notice that most of the pairings are non-canon. That is key. I find it more interesting to go outside the grain, as it were, when reading or writing stories. Whether it's just a one-shot or a multi-chaptered story (which I would prefer), whatever works.
As for guidelines for these challenges... PM me when you choose a pairing, and I'll give you the details of what I had planned (if I had something planned, that is). Since there is so many of them, I don't want to take up profile-space here just to write it all up. Other than that, I'm gonna pretty much give you carte blanche with whatever you choose. Only thing is, NO yaoi/slash/yuri/whatever-you-wanna-call-it is to be placed into ANY of the stories. That may fly with others, but not on my boat. Think of it as part of the challenge, if you want, to keep the slash out:
Tifa/Vincent, Tifa/Rufus, Tifa/Sephiroth
Yu-Gi-Oh! (yes I like YGO. DON'T JUDGE ME!!):
Orihime/Ulquiorra (I adore this pairing!), Orihime/Uryu
Mai/Lin, Mai/John, Mai/Naru, Ayako/Monk
Ouran High School Host Club:
Hermione/Lupin (A part of this challenge would be to figure a way around the age difference), Hermione/Sirius, Hermione/Snape (Totally my all-time fav HP pairing! Dunno why...), Hermione/Slytherin (really wanna see this one), Ginny/Draco (I like this one more than Hr/D), Ginny/Gryffindor (Bonus if you can work this one into the same story as the Hr/S one I just mentioned), Luna/Lupin (I kinda think this one would be cute), Tonks/Lupin
And here are the crossovers, for those interested!:
Dawn/Draco, Dawn/Sirius, Dawn/Slytherin (this one just sounds... fascinating), Tara(alive and not-gay only)/Sirius or Lupin, Faith/Snape (What a twist!), Buffy/Sirius (can be a main-pairing or a side-pairing), Willow/Lupin(again, can be a side-pairing), Willow/Snape (Really, really like this one)
This challenge is a bit more open than the others. Dante, Vergil, and Lady must be main characters, and they must be paired with people from HP, but who those people are is what you get to decide.
Hermione/Legolas, Hermione/Haldir, Ginny/Haldir, Luna/Éomer, Draco/Éowyn
Hermione/Kaiba, Ginny/Marik, Luna/Bakura
Dawn/Legolas, Dawn/Haldir, Faith/Éomer, Faith/Legolas (just imagine the havoc she could bring to that pointy-eared smex-god. If that doesn't convince you to give it a go, than I don't know what will!)
Also, I have a few musical-challenges, for those of you interested. PM me for details!
Good luck and have fun!:D
Twisted Nursery Rhymes:
Jack and Jill went up a hill to have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the Kings horses and all the Kings men... had scrambled eggs for breakfast again!
Georgy Porgy, Pudding and Pie, kissed the girls and made them cry. And when the boys came out to play... he kissed them too cuz he was gay!
Mary had a little Lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, between to hunks of bread!
Hey diddle diddle, the cat took a piddle, all over the bedside clock. Oh, what fun the dog did have... then died of electric shock.
Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at. Up above the world you fly... like a tea tray in the sky.
It's raining, it's pouring. Oh snap! It's global warming!
Mary had a little Lamb, it ran into a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse, and turned it's wool to nylon.
Little boy blew... he needed the money.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, and planned to do some kissing. Jack made a pass, and grabbed her ass, now two of his teeth are missing.
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird
And if that mocking bird don't sing
Momma's gonna deep fry that thing...
"What do you mean your pants shrank? They look fine to me." (My twin and I were laughing together about hot guys, mainly them in delicious leather pants. You know that leather shrinks if not washed properly? *slow evil grin* *wink*)
"It Fenged with her shui." (I said something close to this to my da after he came back from my granny's place and I heard him talking to my ma about something about her house or something not being how she's wanted it)
"We may not have a full set of teeth between the three of us, but we can sure catch them 'gators, mmhm... get 'er done." (My family and I were watching Swamp People and I just came up with this. My dad thought it was hilarious!)
"I am so totally American! I can name off all 53 states!" (lol, I just randomly said this to my twin when we were making fun of something... I think it was Obama.)
If you see the bomb technician running, try and keep up.
"Thundaga'd your ass, didn't I, bitch!" (My twin said this, well more like cheered this, one day while playing Final Fantasy: Tactics)
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck." (this is from some gun-safety thing that my da emailed to my twin. Nifty, eh?)
"Note to Self: Not in the Toaster." (my twin came up with this one and threw it on her Quizilla profile)
If at first you don't succeed... the poison wasn't made properly. (I told this one to my ma one day lol)
If at first you don't succeed... add more arsenic, you twit! (Again, this came from my brain)
"Assassin's do it from behind. Ninja's do it from above." (My twin told me the first part of this one, she had read it from somewhere. Right after, I told her the last part. lol I'm evil)
“Why is heaven pink?”
“Mortal! You presume this to be heaven? This, mortal, is HELL! You will have to take care of pink bunnies for the rest of eternity! You will have to wear pink clothes and eat pink food! And I’ll be damned if you don’t shit pink shit!” (Yet another wonderful quote that I nicked from SerinSykes! Thanks!)
"Parlez vous duck tape?" (Got this one off an episode of Scare Tactics. It was said by a killer imaginary-friend clown lol)
"Marriage is the only battle where you sleep with the enemy." (My twin loves saying this one!)
A boy gives a girl 12 roses, eleven real ones and one fake, and says "I'll stop loving you when all the roses die."
A girl looks at a boy and says "I love you. Do you feel the same?"
The boy replies "No..." and breaks her heart. But before she can turn away, he continues. "Because what I feel for you cannot be called 'love'. That word has been cheapened by everyday use, and it's original meaning is now moot. That word can no longer describe accurately what is in my heart, my soul. What I feel goes beyond that overused word. You are my heaven, my hell, my angel, and my demon. I cannot say I love you, because those insipid words fail to describe how you keep my heart beating, how you are the very blood in my veins. But if it pleases you to hear those tarnished words, then I shall concede and say 'I love you'."(This is totally and completely from my own head, so if anyone wants to rip it off, please let me know. This is actually my belief on how someone should look at the word "love", as well as some hopeless romanticism thrown in. If ever I meet a man worthy enough for me -and once I'm done pitying him for choosing to love me- I intend to share this with him)
"Love is a choice. If you want to be happy with someone, then be happy with them. If you want to love someone, then love them." (this is also from my twin. It's kinda her opinion on marriage and adultery. She said something like this when my eldest sis cheated on her husband of 8 yrs after saying that she "wasn't happy with him anymore")
"Don't spit into the wind- trust me on this one!" (This I borrowed from SerinSykes's profile. It is a good parable. My bro, Brian, learned this one well when we were up in a tree during a wind storm and he decided to hack a loogie at my twin. You should be able to guess the outcome.)
"Sticks and stones may break my bones... but I swear, if you throw one more damn rock at me I am going to kill you!!" (lol, I came up with this one randomly one day)
"Some people are like Slinky's. Their not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." (Thank you, Mom, for getting me this shirt for Christmas!)
"Silence is Golden; Ducktape is Silver" (This is my twin's motto)
"Confucius Say 'You Screwed!'" (This one my twin came up with. I love it!)
"When life gives you lemons, squirt juice in your enemies eyes!" (Happy Bunny rules!)
"You're mother was a hamster and you're father smelled of elderberries!" (Yay for Monty Python!!)
"I'm bad! I'm going to hell. There is a parking spot already reserved for me." (I came up with this, hehe)
"Piss... with Ink!!" (this one my ma, twin, and I came up with after watching Sweeny Todd over and over again. It's our form of cursing lol)
"Man, that water is wet!" (My best friend Amber told me this one)
"Heaven didn't want me and hell thought I'd take over, so the last time I died, they sent me back here in hopes of stopping my malicious genius." (I have not idea who said this, but I like it!)
A good friend will comfort you after your boyfriend breaks up with you, a better friend will call him up to whisper "...seven days."
A good friend will help you burn the body. A better friend will bring the s'mores. (thank you, mom, for that one)
"You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly" (A country song title, I kid you not!)
"I'm so glad we don't go to normal high school. They have drugs... and guns... and people!! AAHH!!" (My twin and I ranted this. We were just talking and the subject of school came of and we just said this, actually in unison. Proof that twins share a brain...)
"...And then Buffy staked Edward. The end." (this was on a t-shirt I saw in Hot Topic once. I really wanted to get it, but I didn't have enough cash)
"Voldemort is what happens when Michael Jackson was raped by Orochimaru" (I read this somewhere, and I realized that -oh, my gosh!- it made sense!!)
"Fair warning. I intend to drink at least one glass of holy water a day from now on, at different times. Bite at your own risk." (ok, yet another that I borrowed from SerinSykes's profile. Take heed, all ye queer sparkly fangers!! My neck is off limits!!... unless you're Alucard; then I'm going into detox, hehe)
"If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is probably not for you."
"Holy crap! It's Pole-Dancer Barbie!" (I actually said this in front of my ma. She laughed when she saw that I was actually right...ish. It came with a pole! A fashion pole, but a pole, nonetheless!)
"Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?" (I ask myself this a lot. Considering where I live, it is a rather big question. I hate tourists; they're everywhere! Grr!)
Me: "Look! I'm psychic!" extends hand towards pencil and concentrates "Watch, I'll make this pencil come to my hand."
Cassie: sighs, walks over, grabs pencil, and hands it to me
Me: grinning "See, I'm psychic. I never said I would move the pencil with my mind." (This was my friend Cassie and myself... on a few occasions. She has tried to learn my tricks, but so-far is unable to make me get up and get the pencil, hehe)
Dad: "I hope your brother doesn't decide to bring his girlfriend over for New Year's."
Me: "Nah, Dad, she can't be fed after midnight." (This happened about the day before New Year's. Now, you might not find it that funny, but if you knew what-er, who my brother was dating, then it would make a lot more sense. The woman is a cougar. She is around 22 years OLDER than my 27 yr-old brother. She is also short and VERY unattractive. Don't believe me? Think that Oompa Loompa from Johnny Depp's Willie Wonka. Imagine that, just with a wig, and there ya go. Scary, huh)
Me: to my grandmother "I just want to sit in some musty old back room of some museum, reading, translating, and handling ancient documents and writings!"
Joel: walking by, to Granny "Like your birth certificate." (This was one of the funniest moments of my life! This happened Christmas '10. The family had gathered at my oldest sister, Amanda's, house for Christmas dinner, and I was telling my grandmother what I wanted to do with my life, i.e. once I got in and out of college. Well, my new bro-in-law -well, not really new, he married Amanda 1-29-09, but anyway...- decided to make this comment, thus earning him a place in my good book. For now, anyway hehe. I still can't keep a straight face just thinking about it!!:D)
Dad: to Carly, Joy, and myself "And then the girl tells him (my bro, Brian) that she's off at 7. And what does he do? Nothing!"
Joy: jokingly (I think) "Well, are you sure he doesn't swing the other way?"
Me: chuckling "Swing away! Swing away!"
pause... everyone starts laughing
Dad: turning to leave the room, still grinning "Oh, I'm not even gonna touch that!" (lmao This happened a few days ago. My twin, my sis-in-law Joy, and I were in my twin's room munching on dinner when my da came to ask if we'd seen my bro, Brian. When we gave a negative, he told us that earlier in the day, when he and Brian had been at Taco Bell, the chick at the speaker told him when she was getting off from work. And he did nothing! Moron. Anyway, thought I should share this wonderfully hilarious tidbit with ya'll)
In the car, leaving the movie theatre after seeing a movie (darn it! I can't remember which one!!) and seeing the trailer for Star Trek 2009 for the first time.
Me: in the back seat "Ya know, I think I might want to see that new Star Trek movie. That new Spock looks kinda... interesting." Carly turns and gives me a look "What?! I'm just saying! His ears are cute! He's like an elf. A..." searches for word, then brightens "a space-elf! You know how I am with elves!"
Carly rolls her eyes. Ma chuckles
Ma: "Yeah. What was your favorite elf again? What was his name? It wasn't Legolas."
Carly: "Haldir. She likes Haldir. He's an elf from Lothlorian."
Me: happy "Yup. He's a warden. A Marchwarden!"
Carly: suddenly interested "He's a warden?" mumbling "The torture must be great." Ma stops at red light and gives Carly a surprised look. She had obviously been wondering when her daughters had grown up "What? It's the truth. He's hot."
Me: only half interested in the convo now. To myself "If he's the March-Warden, then does that make Legolas the May-Warden?" evil grin, suddenly starts muttering a song "It's May, it's May! The lusty month of May! That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray!" (I still grin when thinking of this conversation, even if it has been a couple years. And for anyone wondering, I am now totally obsessed with Zachary Quinto's Spock. And I do still call him a space-elf. Tho I tend to tack on a "sexy" from time to time. The song I was referencing here is from the Camelot musical, and was originally sung by a young Julie Andrews -playing the role of Guenevere- back in '61. Listen to it on YouTube, it is a hilarious, and very wicked, song)
"Geez, sounds like someone kicked a duck right between the quackers." (this was me, to my ma (believe it or not), one evening when we were leaving Wal-Mart and we heard a car alarm that sounded a lot like, well, someone kicking a duck between the quackers. This was also the same evening that I contemplated a few well-chosen names of some of those Transformers action figure things. I mean, seriously, "Sideswipe"? "Sunstreaker"? "Thrust"? WTF!?)
There are three types of people you don't piss off, Custom Officials, Air Marshals, and Police Officers. Because, they say funny things like 'Cavity Search'.
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.
Quick Darth Vader, take out G.I. Joe before he can wrest the crown from the red mouse and steal the cheese (yet another quote that I pirated from my good friend SerinSykes's profile)
If A = Success, then the formula is xyz=A; which is x=work, y=play, and z=keep your mouth shut. (lol! Einstein's Other Theory! I found this in a bookmark on eBay)
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river!" With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river." And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: ’Shall We Gather At the River.’"
(Wash is at his station on the bridge, playing with plastic dinosaurs.)
Dino1: "Yes, yes, this is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land and we will call is... This Land."
Dino2: turns to Dino1 "I think we should call it Your Grave!"
Dino1: "Ah! Curse you sudden, but inevitable, betrayal!"
Dino2: "Hahaha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!" leaps at Dino1 and bites neck
Dino1: "Oh! No, God! Oh, dear God in Heaven!" (Wash and his dino toys; Firefly, 1st ep. Thank you Mom for getting me addicted to the show!)
Mal: "What was that?"
Wash: "Did you see that?"
Mal: "Was that the primary buffer panel?"
Wash: "It did seem to resemble..."
Mal: "Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorramn ship for no apparent reason!?"
Wash: "Looks like." (Mal and Wash; Serenity, the Firefly movie)
Mal: "I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you." (Mal; Firefly, "Our Mrs Reynolds" ep.)
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." (Book to Mal; Firefly, "Our Mrs Reynolds" ep.)
Kaylee: "Wash, tell me I'm pretty."
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: "'Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: "'Cause you're pretty." (Firefly, "Heart of Gold")
Jayne: "Shiny! Let's be bad guys." (Jayne; Serenity)
River: speaking Chinese "Ren ci de shang di, qing dai wo zou!" Merciful God, please take me away. "Wo xiang mei er, mei xin, bian shi tou..." I will close my ears and my heart and I will be a stone. (River, while on Miranda; Serenity)
Gimli: trying to look over the wall. "What's happening out there?"
Legolas: "Shall I describe it to you?" Looks down at Gimli. "Or would you like me to find you a box?" (Taken from Lord of the Rings; the Two Towers. I love this scene!)
Gimli: "Certainty of death... small chance of success... what are we waiting for?" (From the Lord of the Rings; the Return of the King)
Sanzo: "You jerks damage my reputation daily." (From Saiyuki, I can't remember the episode right now, tho)
Sanzo: "Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! GET A ROOM!" (Sanzo to Gojyo and Goku; Saiyuki, ep.2)
Kurama: chuckles "All the while we've been thinking you're a brilliant strategist... Really, you're just a lucky fool."
Yusuke: "Hey! Watch it, fox boy! Nn, what's that word mean, anyway?"
Kurama: "A strategist is someone who uses his brain."
Yusuke: glares "Hey!" (Kurama and Yusuke in a warehouse; Yu Yu Hakusho, ep.8)
Malachite: "Zoicite, you're trembling!"
Zoicite: "Yes, I also happen to have a gaping hole in my spine! Please, stop them before they find the exit right behind me and to the left of the soda machine!"
Sailor Venus: "Like, what did you just say?" (From Sailor Moon the Abridged Series, ep.31)
Beryl: "Excellent work! Now Sailor Moon has the crystal!"
Zoicite: "Why, thank you."
Beryl: "It was sarcasm! You don't bring me the crystal, but instead bring me some unconscious teenage boy... Wait! I have an unconscious teenage boy? Ooh!" (From Sailor Moon the Abridged Series, ep. 31)
Kaiba: "Screw the rules, I have money!" (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, in various episodes)
Tea: "Dammit! Every time I meet a guy, he's either gay or a villain in disguise!" (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, but I can't remember the episode)
Duke: "Keep your eyes on me ladies! Cheep parlor tricks are extremely erotic. Oh, yeah!" (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, ep.23, as well)
Teddy Bear: "YOUR MOTHER PLAYS CARD GAMES IN HELL!!" (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, ep.20)
Yami Marik: "I would now like to introduce the newest member of our Evil Council."
Rebecca: "Hello everybody, my names Rebecca!"
Yami Bakura: "You invited an 8-yr-old girl to join our Council? Really, Marik, I would expect this sort of thing from Pegasas, but not from you."
Yami Marik: "It's not the girl I'm interested in. It's... the bear." (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, Marik's Evil Council #2)
Teddy Bear: "YOUR MOTHER PLAYS CARD GAMES IN HELL!!"
Yami Marik: "I know, that's because I killed her!"
Teddy Bear: "...oh." (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, Marik's Evil Council #2)
Pegasus: sing-song "Remember kids; gambling is good for you!" (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, and yet again I can't remember the ep, I'll have to look it up sometime)
Ryou Bakura: "Good night, everyone. I hope my evil alter ego doesn't wake up in the middle of the night and molest any of you. Because that tends to happen a lot."
Tea: off screen "Go to sleep, you limey pansy!." (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, ep.16)
Yami: "I spy with my little eye, something that begins with gay clown!" (From Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, can't remember which ep tho)
Kirk: "Who is that pointy-eared bastard?"
McCoy: "I don't know... but I like him." (From Star Trek 2009)
McCoy: "Green-blooded hobgoblin!" (Again, from the newest Star Trek movie. All those that have seen it can understand who he's talking about, hehe)
Spock: When Kirk gets promoted to First Officer "The complexity of human pranks escapes me..." (Also from Star Trek 2009)
Doc: "Why, Kate, you're not wearing a bustle. How lewd!!" (From the movie Tombstone. My twin loves this quote!)
Johnny: "Four weeks, twenty papers... that's two dollars." (The paperboy from Better Off Dead)
Dante: "First I whip it out. Then I thrust it. With great force! Every angle..! It penetrates! Until..! With great strength! I.. ram it in! In the end, we are all satisfied, and you are set free." (From DMC4, upon obtaining Lucifer)
Steven: "Jojo... Even if I have to stuff you up my ass to get you past customs, you are going to America." (From the film Primeval. My twin loves that movie cuz it has Gideon Emery, the voice actor for Balthier in FFXII)
"Oh! Sweet Mystery of Life at last I've found you!!" (from Young Frankenstein. lol)
"Look, it's Timmy; the albino lifeguard!" (I found this one so hilarious that I couldn't help myself. It's from a Starburst commercial)
Tony: Pepper sees him trying to get out of his armor with the assistance of various robots "Let's face it. This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing." (From the Ironman movie)
Willow: "I think we have Dracula factoids."
Xander: "Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Master..." pause as everyone looks at him "...bater." (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 5.1; Buffy vs. Dracula. I love this episode!)
Xander: "I think you're drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince!" pause as everyone looks at him "...bater." (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 5.1; Buffy vs. Dracula)
Xander: runs into the room carrying a torch "Where is he?! Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?"
Buffy: "He's gone."
Xander: "Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap! I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!"
Buffy: "Check. No more butt-monkey." (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 5.1; Buffy vs. Dracula)
Xander: "We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!"
Willow: "It was like the Heimlich... with stripes!" (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 1.6; The Pack)
Spike: "I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower-person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move." (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 2.3; School Hard)
Buffy: "I wish we could be regular kids."
Angel: "Yeah. I'll never be a kid."
Buffy: "Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend." (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 2.9; What's My Line, Prt1)
King Louis XVI: "It's good to be the king." (History of the World Prt1. I love Mel Brooks' movies!)
Rabbi Tuckman: sees King Richard kiss Maid Marian "It's good to be the King." (from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, another Mel Brooks movie)
Robin Hood: "Ah, but unlike other Robin Hood's, I can speak with a British accent." (from Robin Hood: Men in Tights)
Dracula: after rising from his coffin and hitting his head on the chandelier "I must move the coffin," pause "Or the chandelier." (from Dracula: Dead and Loving it. Bet you can guess who directed this movie?)
Dracula: as the sunlight burns his bat-self "Renfield, you asshole!" (from Dracula: Dead and Loving It)
Renfield: upon seeing the two voluptuous vampire women- one rubbing a table seductively, the other rubbing the bedpost seductively "My God! What are you doing to the furniture!" (from Dracula: Dead and Loving It)
Renfield: as the vampire women are seducing him "No, this is wrong. This is wrong! This is wrong, you hear me? Wrong! This is ... Wrong me! Wrong me! Wrong my brains out!" (from Dracula: Dead and Loving It)
Dracula: "Van Helsing... a name that is famous even in Transylvania."
Van Helsing: "Dracula... are you by any chance descended from Vlad Tepeş, the first Dracula?"
Dr. Seward: "Tepeş?"
Van Helsing: "Yah, it means "the Impaler". He used to inflict unspeakable tortures on the peasants; cutting off their hands and feet, gouging out their eyes, and then impaling them on iron spikes."
Dracula: beat "They had it coming!" (from Dracula: Dead and Loving It)
Flight Attendant: "Time to turn that off, dear." indicating Aggie's cellphone
Roland: over the cellphone "I got that." notices the flight attendant "She's hot. What's her future?"
Agatha: "She's all smiles." pause "There's a thirty percent chance that she'll stick her heel in a grid as she disembarks the plane. She'll break it off and hit the ground with a twisted ankle and a hitched up skirt."
Roland: "Bad, but sexy."
Agatha: "Uh-huh. Everyone will see her penis."
Roland: "Right. Take care." hangs up (from the book A Dream of Stone & Shadow by Marjorie M. Liu. It was in an anthology with Christine Feehan's story Dark Dream)
Rhiannon: "I say we douse him in gasoline, give him a head start and see which one of us can be the first to hit him with a lit match. It'll be like a game of tag. Only, you know, better." (Taken from the book Edge of Twilight by Maggie Shayne. She is a really great author and, in my opinion, her Wings in the Night series ((which this book is part of)) is the better, more adult, Twilight series. And I do mean better. Waaaay better )
Draco: "Contrary to normal belief I do need to eat, I don’t simply live off the misfortune of others—though it is quite appetizing." (ok, I found this one on a Harry Potter fanfic. You can find the fanfic, and quote, here Forked Tongue)
Zevran: "Might I offer you a bit of advice, my good friend Alistair?"
Alistair: "I like my hair the way it is, thank you."
Zevran: "Truly... As you wish, though my advice is in regards to something else completely. It has to do with your recent... exertions with your fellow Grey Warden that I overheard."
Alistair: "My... oh."
Zevran: "It did seem as if you just got going when all grew quiet. You are... feeling alright, yes? Perhaps you are tired?"
Alistair: "We aren't talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?"
Zevran: "I have some roots from home that you may chew if you need energy. As for volume... perhaps you should try arching your-"
Alistair: "Woah woah! Awkward!"
Zevran: "You Fereldans are so finicky. How will you ever learn how to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?"
Alistair: "Not listening! La la la la la!" (This is from Dragon Age: Origins. My sis-in-law loves the game, and I just think Zevran is cool! He's like a bisexual Legolas! lol )
Wynne: "You must know that murder is wrong, I assume."
Zevran: "I'm sorry... are you speaking to me?"
Wynne: "That is why you wish to leave your Crows. A crisis of conscience."
Zevran: "Yes, that is exactly it."
Wynne: "Joke if you wish, but I have the feeling that deep down you regret the life you have lived."
Zevran: "It's true. I regret it all."
Wynne: "Must you be such a child? Are you incapable of a single serious conversation?"
Zevran: "I know. I am terrible and it makes me sad. May I rest my head in your bosom? I wish to cry."
Wynne: "You can cry well away from my bosom, I'm certain."
Zevran: "Did I tell you that I was an orphan? I never knew my mother."
Wynne: "Egad, I give up." (Dragon Age: Origins. Zevran is just hilarious!)
Mordin: "Shepard. How can I help?"
Shepard: "Have you got a minute to talk?"
Mordin: "Actually wanted to talk. Medical matters." comes around desk "Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal as stress release. Still recommend caution with Thane. Drell/human liaisons complex. Thane complex as well."
Shepard: "You have a recommendation as a doctor?"
Mordin: "Prolonged human to drell skin contact can cause small rash, itching. Oral contact may cause mild hallucinations. Also forwarding advice booklet to your quarters. Valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews. Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary."
Shepard: "Wait a minute, Mordin. You're just yanking me around, aren't you?"
Mordin: "Shocking suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of mockery. Enjoy yourself while possible, Shepard. Will be here, studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required." (and this wonderful conversation is from Mass Effect 2, should FemShep choose to have a romantic relationship with the drell Thane. Mmm... Thane... *drool* lol)
Garrus: "You ever miss those talks we had on the elevators?"
Garrus: "Come on, remember how we'd all ask you about life on the flotilla? It was an opportunity to share!"
Tali: "This conversation is over."
Garrus: "Tell me again about your immune system!"
Tali: "I have a shotgun."
Garrus: "Maybe we'll talk later." (again, from Mass Effect 2. This is just a little conversation Garrus and Tali will have if you have them in your party at a certain time (I think on the Citadel, but I can't remember))
Joker: "All right, I'm at, uh, you."
EDI: "Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module."
Joker: "Great. See, this is where it starts, and when we're all just organic batteries, guess who'll they'll blame? 'This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord.'" finishes typing, stuff turns on
EDI: "Ah. I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you, Mr. Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering."
Joker: "Argh! You want me to go crawling through the ducts again."
EDI: "I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees." Joker gives her a look. "That is a joke."
Joker: "Right." (Again, from Mass Effect 2, this time the conversation is between the AI EDI, and the pilot Joker, voiced by the talented and awesome Seth Green!)
Cassandra: "There's only one reason Christian girls come down to Planned Parenthood."
Roland: "She's planting a pipe bomb?"
Cassandra: "Okay, two reasons." (from the movie Saved! I love this movie, even if it is a complete overreaction of Christianity)
Bill: "I will never understand what joy a grown man gets using a $1,000 weapon to blow the face off a cute little dear." (From Slither. I just love Nathan Fillion)
Wally: "Surprised you're able to lift a mug, you've been carrying that torch for so long."
Bill: "Oh, that reminds me of something I want to tell you."
Wally: "What's that?"
Bill: "F--k you, fat ass." (From Slither)
Bill: "Shelby, you gonna create a hysteria?"
Shelby: not looking up, completely uninterested "Not today, Bill." (From Slither)
Jack: "Bitch is hardcore." (From Slither. This is my all time favorite quote. Don't be surprised to see this pop in some form in one of my stories in the future)
Heather: "Children, as your new nanny, I know we're all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires."
Wednesday: "Prevent them?" lights a match
Mrs. Montgomery: "All right, children, I've had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question- where is that baby?"
Wednesday: "Which part?"
Polly: holding up a puppet "Hello, kiddies, I'm Polly the Puppet! What shall we do today? I know- let's all clean our rooms!"
Wednesday: holding up devil puppet "Hello, Polly. I'll clean my room...in exchange for your immortal soul." devil puppet rubs hands together (Taken from Addams Family Values. I love this movie!)
Morticia: "You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive...but Debbie..."
Debbie: irritated "What?"
Morticia: glancing at the decor "Pastels?" (Again from Addams Family Values)
Gomez: to the police officer "I have seen evil!" Grandmama holds up Pubert while smiling "I have seen horror!" Lurch smiles "I have seen the unholy maggots which feasts in the dark recesses of the human soul!"
Morticia: referring to Pugsley and Wednesday "They're at camp." (From Addams Family Values)
Kidnapper: on the phone "If you hang up, I'll rip her open-"
Gideon: "I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number." disconnects the call
Mr. Davenport: "What the hell are you doing?!"
Gideon: "Saving your daughter, Mr. Davenport." (Criminal Minds, 1.5 Broken Mirror)
Hotch: about a head shot Reid acomplished "Nice shot."
Reid: "I was aiming for his leg."
Hotch: "Well, I wouldn't have kept kicking, but I was afraid you didn't get my plan."
Reid: "I got your plan the minute you moved the hostages out of my line of fire."
Hotch: "Well, I hope I didn't hurt you too badly."
Reid: "Hotch, I was a twelve year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine year-old girl." (Criminal Minds, 1.6 L.D.S.K)
Blackwolf: to Gideon "You look like a college professor." to Reid "You look like his student." to Hotch "You look like FBI." (Criminal Minds, 1.16 The Tribe)
Hotch draws his gun
Blackwolf: "Put that away."
Blackwolf: "You don't need it. Use your baton." Hotch exhales "There are many paths to the same place. Trust me."
Hotch: "Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie." Hotch whips out his baton (Criminal Minds, 1.16 The Tribe)
Hotch: "They're fine. We got them out before they got here. We took down these four."
Reid: "Without firing a shot?"
Blackwolf: "Captain America here shot number five."
Hotch: "You're welcome." Hotch and Blackwolf pause to trade looks "Number six is cut up pretty bad, I don't think he's gonna make it."
Blackwolf: "At least I didn't shoot him."
Morgan: "Think I'd rather be shot."
Hotch: "There's an old Apache saying: 'You can take many paths to get to the same place.'" Blackwolf smirks as Hotch walks off (Criminal Minds, 1.16 The Tribe)
Prentiss: poking Reid gently in the cheek after he has mentioned how it was quicker to solve the Bacon Cypher longhand instead of using a computer "He's so lifelike..." (Criminal Minds, 4.2 Angel Maker)
Hotch, JJ and Reid are talking to Garcia via phone
Reid: "Thank you, Garcia."
Garcia: "You, my fine furry friends, are welcome!" Hangs up
Hotch: looking out the window "Remind me to have her drug tested." (Criminal Minds, 4.4 Paradise)
Reid: "Dr. Norman gave me permission to sleep on the couch in your room tonight, if it's all right with you."
Diana Reid: to Dr. Norman "If anyone tries to keep him here any longer, I'll scratch your eyes out."
Dr. Norman: to Reid, disturbed "One night only." walks away
Diana Reid: to Reid "It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue." (Criminal Minds, 4.6 The Instincts)
JJ: "If anything happens to us, it's up to you and Garcia to make sure this boy makes it into Yale."
Reid: to baby Henry "Yale, Henry? You want to go to Yale? That was your godfather's safety school. Don't worry, I can get you into CalTech with one phone call." (Criminal Minds, 4.7 Memorium)
Reid: "What's this?"
Hotch: "You told me you were cleared to fly. You lied."
Prentiss: "Naughty boy."
Reid: "No I didn't. I am a doctor, so technically it wasn't a lie."
Garcia: "What was it then?"
Reid: "...A second opinion?"
Garcia: "You're my bitch now." Morgan laughs (Criminal Minds, 5.3 Reckoner)
Garcia and Kevin on the phone
Kevin: "What do you mean, you're sharing a room with Morgan?"
Garcia: "Oh, You're jealous."
Kevin: "Jealous? Why? Because you're bedding down with a muscle-bound, modern-day 007?"
Garcia: "Mmm, he's more like Jason Bourne."
Kevin: "Oh, what's there to be jealous about?"
Garcia: "He took the floor."
Kevin: "OK. Just... just make sure he keeps his weapon holstered, OK?" (Criminal Minds, 5.21 Exit Wounds)
Loki: "Will you ever not fall for that?" (from the Avengers)
Carla: "You can deny you like her all you want. But, I know for a fact, that every time you guys are done playing racquetball or having a conversation or whatever it is you crazy kids are calling it, you like nothing more than to just lie next to Jordan and watch her sleep."
Dr. Cox: "It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan. She sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings."
Those lips that Loves own hands did make
Breathed forth the sound that said "I hate"
To me that languish'd for her sake;
But when she saw my woeful state
Straight in her heart did mercy come,
Chiding that tongue that ever sweet
Was used in giving gentle doom,
And taught it thus anew to greet:
"I hate" she alter'd with an end,
That follow'd it as gentle day
Doth follow night, who like a fiend
From heaven to hell is flown away;
"I hate" from hate away she threw;
And saved my life, saying "not you"
-Sonnet 145, William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned.
-William Congreve (1670-1729)
To see a world in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
-Excerpt from Auguries of Innocence, William Blake (1757-1827)
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door-
Only this and nothing more."
-Excerpt from The Raven, Edgar Allen Poe (1809-1849)
(have you noticed that this is the only poet I've named so far that doesn't have the first name 'William'? Huh, I never noticed before, lol)
Is love a fancy, or a feeling? No.
It is immortal as immaculate Truth,
'Tis not a blossom shed as soon as youth,
Drops from the stem of life--for it will grow,
In barren regions, where no waters flow,
Nor rays of promise cheats the pensive gloom.
-Excerpt from Sonnet VII, Hartley Coleridge (1796-1849)
(I heard this poem while watching Sense and Sensibility *ya know, the one with Alan Rickman* and I really liked it)
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him master...
He had no degree, yet they called him teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they call him healer...
He had no army, yet the kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet he lives today...
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his son
then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him in the holy Bible he says
"If you deny me before man, i will deny you before my Father in heaven."
(Now, some of you will read my profile, and my stories, and then read this and become offended. You'll probably say "She curses! She uses 'suggestive' stuff! How can she be a Christian?", right? And you'll be right to ask this. Yes, I am a Christian, I will never deny this. I will never deny my God, for any reason. But still, that doesn't answer the question. Simple; I am also human. I am not perfect. Far from it. Only one person was ever perfect; and He was crucified. I'm not saying this all as an excuse for my conduct, but to point out that, as a Christian, that does not make me better than any other person. I curse a little, yea, but it is something I try to hold back and keep only in my writing. As for writing 'suggestive' themes, what is so suggestive about writing about love? I do not go overly graphic or obscene, so quit your griping! It is of my personal belief to abstain from sex until after marriage, but that is simply because, not only because it follows my faith, but also because, were I to sleep with someone before I am married, then what would I have to offer to my husband? I'm not saying this to offend any that have already slept with someone outside of marriage, this is just how I feel on the matter.
I won't fill my stories up with sermons or preaching about Hell and damnation (tho I could), but neither will I deny my God in my work, either. If I lose fans simply because of my faith, then so be it, I would rather lose them than have them get all pissy and junk cuz of what I believe.)
Okay, I'm just going to say this cuz I can't stand it anymore! I am a twin, and it is something I am proud of. I have an identical twin sister, and being on fanfiction.net I have learned that there are many out there that approve -and even enjoy!- writing fanfiction that includes incest and something called "twincest". I speak for myself, but I hope other twins out there agree with me, that this form of fanfiction is disgusting and offensive. Now, those authors of such fanfiction I hold nothing against, but unless they are, themselves, twins then they cannot hope to understand whatever bond a twin holds with their other half. And I mean this in a completely innocent way, though some sick person out there may misunderstand the bond a twin shares with their fraternal -or identical in my case- sibling.
If there are other twins out there that agree with me, then please, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name below. Of course changing the above statement where necessary:
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, Vampiris, tami9900, blueFoxx0123, aquaray, ravenrulz-224, Miss Timechick, EternityInYourArms
For some reason, 68 percent of the Phangirl population thinks Christine should have gone with Erik. If you're part of the intelligent 32 percent who thinks she should have just fallen in a hole and died, sparing Erik the painful torture of living with her, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: MyMindIsMyDarkSanctuary, Phantomofthebasket, BlackTippedRose, PhantomPenguin, dark-hearted rose, LisalikesPhantom, WanderingTeen, Fuzzy-Pamplemousse, Akira'kitana, Haleybob, EternityInYourArms
If you are a huge Phantom of the Opera phangirl and proud of it, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list!
Copy and paste this into your profile if when you were young... There were only 150 Pokemon. Digimon was popular. Yugi-Oh actually had Yugi in it. You didn’t get weird looks when you went Trick-or-Treating. Nobody cared what you looked like. Hamtaro ROCKED. Catching a pidgeon was cool. Pirates before Pirates of the Caribbean. Nobody knew how to spell 'Volcano'. Pinky and the brain were cartoon characters, not body parts. Saying 'moron' was a swear word. Fire was considered dangerous. The only thing you had to worry about were cooties. Cursive writing was just a bunch of swirly lines. Multiplication was scary. Dora the Explorer and that damned monkey who follows her EVERYWHERE didn't exist. The first Harry Potter was the coolest thing since sliced bread.