cullenlover642
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 03-22-09, id: 1875338, Profile Updated: 12-29-09

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back, and yell I WANT EDWARD CULLEN

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going, "We fucked up, huh?"

Keep staring I might do a trick.

All things considered, insanity be the only reasonable alternative.'s

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

" If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning

One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. Back-to-back they faced one another, Drew their swords and shot each other. One was blind and the other couldn't see, So they chose a dummy for a referee. A blind man went to see fair play, A dumb man went to shout "hooray!" A deaf policeman heard the noise, And came and shot the two dead boys. A paralysed donkey walking by, Kicked the copper in the eye, Sent him through a rubber wall, Into a dry ditch and drowned them all. (If you don't believe this lie is true, Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - i hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the day (number) you were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the kool-aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a mexican
25 - a teletubby
26 - a condom
27 - a gangsta
28 - paris hilton
29 - Barney the Dinosaur
30 - my ex boyfriend
31 -my lover

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...

White - because im sexy like that
Black - because I love weed
Pink - because I smoke crack
Turquoise- because im good in bed
brown- because i like to snort cocaine
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because im gay
Grey - because i have AMAZING boobs
Other - because im retarded
Green -because that bum stole my taco
Orange - because i still love him
RED- because the gummy bears made me
blue - because i like shoelaces
Tye dye- because Im a fucking scuba diver
graphic- because I am crazy like that
none- because i have a killer six pack!!

Sterotypes

I have good grades, so I must be a Nerd.

I'm pretty, so I must not be a virgin.

I'm a virgin, so I must be prude.

I have straight A's, so I must be easy.

I love animals, so I must become the crazy old cat lady.

I get depressed, so I must be Emo.

I'm blonde, so I must be an idiot.

I'm religious, so I must shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm Native American, so I must be a savage.

I'm a white girl, so I must be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm a girl who actually eats lunch, so I must be fat.

I'm single, so I must be ugly.

I love shopping, so I must be rich.

I hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop,

(Please post it if you think the same)

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

Try Not To Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

>He told his friends that it was cool,

>And when he pulled the trigger back,

>It shot with a great, huge crack.

>Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

>I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

>When I went to school that day,

>I never said good-bye.

>I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

>When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

>And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

>Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

>And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

>And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

>And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

>And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

>Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

>Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

>And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

>Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

>But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

>And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

>I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

>Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

>But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

>When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

>please listen to me if you would,

>I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

>I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

>I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

>I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

>But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

>Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

>I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

>And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to “10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen
you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid
embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?”

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re
taking it for a “test drive.”

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”

20. Put M&M’s on layaway.

21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from
the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!”

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello”
upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
“Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any
Shnerples here?”

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
“Mission: Impossible.”

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him ” I
need some tampons!!”

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies?”

41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.

44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those
voices again!”

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice
possible “sex and candy”

52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run
between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act
as spastic as possible.

59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and
women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with
various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you
and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is
breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you
do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was
another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME
darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto
the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good bessie.”

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of
shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the
boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another
girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.
“hi!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the boy
shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.
“hi!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).”

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they don’t realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean
in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front
of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the
perfume!!”

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like
crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!! I got it!! Wow, that was
the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!
Hey look, there’s another one!!” Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a
prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to
people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your
friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those
electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they
don’t know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend
that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over
wanting to use it, start barking at them until
they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your
friend.

80. Excesively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
“Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of
french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say
“Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you
say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from
Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like
everyone else your know. You digust me” Then walk away
mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-
like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your
“multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old
girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should
sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly
good time.(English)” “Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta
Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc.

85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms
and legs around like your having some kind of massive
seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to
leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your
walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to
go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then
quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away
as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while
singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn
around.

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that
someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over,
start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little
attention” Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,
start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just
stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in
my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming
“NO!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO
NO NO NO!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the
eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a
zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t
light the zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a spinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I
warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get
my shot gun”. Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
god it is!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!” Then kiss him.
Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then
walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.

98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your
watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get
paid enough to do this”

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen
my mommy?”

101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted


A conversation between a girl and her boyfriend:

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill
to many people.(So true...)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. (I know mine do!)

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm.(Yep, totally is.)

"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin

"You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (And now he won't give them back!)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day past this to your profil . (Hmm, let’s see, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking dawn only took 10hrs.)

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib." (I picture Emmett every time I read this...)

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. (My dad told me that when I was younger.)

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.
You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.
The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls. (I actually do...)

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me.
Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

“I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

If you hear voices of the characters in your head... past this to you profile You can blame all your problems on two invisible people named 'Steve' and 'Candy', if you believe this,past this to your profile

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door. (I HAVE!)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.
Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
all men tremble at these 3 little words hold my purse

say the word "cow" after each word:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

Now say the word "cow" before and after each word:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

Now read from the bottom up:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

Subject: a rape story
Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2006 15:55:38 +1000

You are one fucking sick person if you dont repost this i feel for you if
this dosent touch you because this is just wrong. read this. its disgusting

Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned

I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"

No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"

His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground

I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"

I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed

I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?

Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame

"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more

"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace

I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more

But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot

I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight

I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much

He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!"
I was dead
After only one swing...

Please if you care for all the children and women who have been raped
repost this bulletin with the Headline "A Rape Story

Rules of being a teenager

1) I ws having such a good day. Then I got up

2) Untidiness is a teenage art

3) Imay look scruffy to you. But to me its fashion

4) Midday to me is first thing in the morning

5) I can't understand what I'm dongout of bed

6) If music is too loud. Your too old.

7) I want to do the least amount of work for the most amnount of money

8) Of course my room is untidy, its my god given right!

9) Why pay for anything when your parents have bigger wallets then you.

10) I'm not lazy... I'm pacing myself

11) Homework fascinates me... I can look at it for hours

12) If a job is worth doing... It's worth getting your parents to do it for you.

BEST FRIENDS 'N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents Mr. and Mrs., and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never see you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in his/her body if he/she hurts you

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: help you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: give you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: take yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipe your tears when you're rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goe up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Have you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and give it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Lose your stuff and tell you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"

FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: Sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: Kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: Are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are asking why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: Dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: Dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: Call you retarded for running through the bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (ask MangoTango450 if you want to know)

BEST FRIENDS: Are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.

You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!)

16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

(\_/)
(O.o)
o(/_._\)o

On the other hand, this is Kitty.

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

Things I learned from Twilight!

1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for one an another.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Grand Theft Auto is bad...unless its a porche
31. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.


DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.

In memory of an incredible, outstanding author.

Daddy's Little Cannibal.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

╚═╩═╩═╝Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end as though he
were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she walked right past the man and arrived
home safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the fact that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the man she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified, he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and asked if there was anything they could do
for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe in
God..

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
T W I L I G H T
J U N K I E E
the f.Ѽ
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Copy And Paste This If You Are A Twilight Junkiee!

Like me...

...Very very obsessed.

╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too profile if you've caught it tooso

youre

saying

that

i'm a loser because i don't want to be popular.
i'm a pansy because i dont ask every guy out.
i'm > > special because i act silly in public.
i'm a slut because i actually dance at...dances.
i'm nasty because i have a single zit on my face.
i'm a hippie because i'm not cool with violence.
i'm a whore because my boyfriend kissed mee.
i'm a freak because i don't dress just like you.
i'm a bitch because i stand up for myself.
i'm a retard when i make a C on a test...
but a nerd when i make an A, or a B.
i'm anorexic because i forgot my lunch one day.
the next day, i'm fat because i eat all of it.
can i tell you something, sweetheart?

labelsdontdefinemeMonth one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

MADD

I went to a party, Mom
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didnt drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.

Now Im lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own bloods all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

Im sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddys Girl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
Id still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
Im getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And Im so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you, Mom
So I love you and good-bye.

A True Boyfriend =

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

My Favorite song Let M e Sign By Robbert Pattinson

Ohh
Ohh
She was standing there by the broken tree
Her hands were all twisted
she was pointing at me
I was damned by the light
coming over, as she
spoke with a voice that
disrupted the sky
She said 'Come on over to the bitter shade,
I will wrap you in my arms
and you'll know you've been saved'
Let me sign
let me sign

Another Version:
Ohh
Ohh
Standin by a broken tree
Her hands are all twisted
She's pointin at me
I was damned by light
Coming all over I see
She spoke with a voice and
Looked up at the sky
She said hold on lover
Yeah, don't be ashamed
I will wrap you in my arms
and only said
Let me sign
Let me sign

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

Edward is my boyfriend, Alice is the sister I always wanted, and Jacob... He's just there for when I get cold.

I grew a shiny pelt for Jacob Black.

Bite me, Edward Cullen. I dare you.

Jasper makes me feel better.

Hiking I fell and no strong arms were there to catch me. I zipped off to the ER, and the doctor's there asked me, "What doctor would you like, sweetie?" I replied, "Dr. Carlisle Cullen, please."

Esme can design my cottage anyday.

I challenged Emmett to an arm westling contest... and won.

My friend's call me Bella because I'm always watching for Edward to walk through my biology door.

Rosalie Hale maybe mean to me, but she's just jealous.

Alice Cullen see's my future, I just hope it doesn't turn out bad.

Nessie is the name for the Loch Ness Monster. I call her Renesmee.

I stuck my paper cut finger in front of Jasper and lived to tell the tale.

When shiny Volvo's go across the road, I scream like a fan girl.

I kissed a Cullen and I liked it.

I stay awake at night hoping Edward will come through my window.

When I see grizzlies I scream "Emmett!"

Edward Cullen called and told me to tell you, "Open up your window, Repunzel, I've arrived... To bite your neck!"

Esme invited me over for dinner. I got there and was almost devoured.

My friend's are jealous because Edward walks me to my classes.

I wish I had a teddy bear, but he's off with my best friend.

I'd go after a sadistic vampire so Edward Cullen would rescue me.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Crossing the Lines by sheviking reviews
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Bella is starving for a better life for her and her son, and taking her clothes off in front of a stranger is just the first of many lines she'll cross.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 29 - Words: 110,872 - Reviews: 8493 - Favs: 4,334 - Follows: 6,206 - Updated: 7/21 - Published: 11/18/2013 - Bella, Edward
The Selkie Wife: A New World by Lissa Bryan reviews
Sequel to THE SELKIE WIFE "I will find you again, my love." As one life ends, another begins. True love never dies. For twenty years, Bella has searched for Edward. She finally discovers him again, in the New Plymouth Colony. Will Edward's soul remember hers? Will he fall in love with his selkie wife again as they build another life together in this new world? Rated M/OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 19 - Words: 115,061 - Reviews: 1518 - Favs: 1,244 - Follows: 1,638 - Updated: 7/11 - Published: 11/22/2013 - Bella, Edward
Indelible by bannerday reviews
Some experiences, some people, stick with you forever, leaving their mark on your memories. You can't escape what they meant to you and you can't re-write the past. It's indelible. But the future isn't set in stone…it's yours to write. A story about forks in the road of life and a past with a future. AH/AU/Canon couples
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 179,318 - Reviews: 4989 - Favs: 1,115 - Follows: 1,717 - Updated: 7/8 - Published: 5/8/2014 - Bella, Edward
Ruthless by Lovenyx125 reviews
When a game of revenge is taken too far, Bella is sold into marriage to a man she despises. While struggling to fit society's mold of a weak woman, she must navigate the treacherous waters of being a mob wife without drowning in the process. Mobward. Possessiveward. Sexyward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,682 - Reviews: 1178 - Favs: 1,234 - Follows: 1,961 - Updated: 6/17 - Published: 10/16/2013 - [Edward, Bella]
Totally Irresistible by Baby Shadow reviews
On pure accident Bella has just become secretary to one of the world’s most desirable millionaires, Edward Cullen. And the problem isn’t whether she can handle the job, but it’s can she keep her heart. Too bad no one told her he was Totally Irresistible.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 126,461 - Reviews: 977 - Favs: 894 - Follows: 880 - Updated: 5/30 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Edroar the Angry Lion by Tropical Sorbet reviews
Edroar the Angry Lion frightens all the girls and boys at Cullen Publishing with his loud roar. Will his new massage therapist Bella Swan run away like all the rest, or can she tame this savage beast? AH/AU OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 142,143 - Reviews: 4766 - Favs: 4,080 - Follows: 5,537 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Edward, Bella
A May to December Romance by Positively 4th Street reviews
My name is Isabella Swan and today, I signed a contract that would put me in the steel tight clutches of a man I didn't know, for four years. A girl's gotta pay for college somehow, right? AH. Come meet 'Sugar Daddy' Edward. **Chapters 1-18 are being edited and are subject to small changes.**
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 165,303 - Reviews: 8541 - Favs: 8,959 - Follows: 10,770 - Updated: 5/5 - Published: 1/7/2011 - Bella, Edward
My Life as a Trophy Wife by JennaRay reviews
Bella signs a contract with Edward to enter into a marriage based on financial gain. She's looking to take the easy road and instead finds a nearly impossible one she must travel on the path to finding herself, along with everything she never knew she wanted. This is the struggle of a broken little girl growing into the woman she's destined to be.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 43 - Words: 414,353 - Reviews: 11985 - Favs: 6,857 - Follows: 8,981 - Updated: 4/11 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Art of Getting Fluffed by ChocolateSparrow reviews
Like every professional, Edward Cullen needs the right tools for the job. But what happens when they just don't work anymore? Cue Bella Swan, an expert at being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The adventures of Bunny and Fluff. Short funny chapters rated M for a reason.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 71,567 - Reviews: 4587 - Favs: 1,918 - Follows: 3,154 - Updated: 2/5 - Published: 3/17/2013 - Edward, Bella
Wisp by Cris reviews
Edward wins more than he bargained for at what was supposed to be a friendly poker game. AH. Ysar made me my banner!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 68 - Words: 325,802 - Reviews: 14134 - Favs: 5,732 - Follows: 6,654 - Updated: 12/9/2015 - Published: 4/22/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Yes by GeekChic12 reviews
"He talks to me sometimes. I mean, it's usually sort of one-sided, but… every once in a while, he'll make eye contact with me, and I feel like I've won the lottery or something." A boy most people overlook. A girl who sees just how amazing he is. All human. High School. Dedicated to lellabeth.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,259 - Reviews: 2923 - Favs: 2,454 - Follows: 2,050 - Updated: 12/1/2015 - Published: 12/13/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Changing My Course by twilover76 reviews
Sparks fly when two strangers collide in the dark. Will Edward star in Bella's future, or will the politics of her life be too much for him to handle? AH/M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 131,892 - Reviews: 6385 - Favs: 3,063 - Follows: 4,468 - Updated: 11/17/2015 - Published: 11/3/2012 - Edward, Bella
The Heir and the Spare by sleepyvalentina reviews
My sister keeps telling me the media is way too hard on Prince Edward—that he isn't an arrogant, self-entitled bastard and I'd like him if I got to know him. Right. The more time I spend with His Royal Heinous, the more I want him to leave me alone. But he won't, and since the tabloids already think I'm sleeping with him, he might as well kiss me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 72,888 - Reviews: 6669 - Favs: 4,316 - Follows: 6,258 - Updated: 11/4/2015 - Published: 6/16/2012 - Bella, Edward
To Destroy by walkingwithgiants reviews
In the words of Abe Lincoln, "The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend." Bella works for a man that makes her teeth grind. "My boss is an asshole," she cried.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 52 - Words: 106,494 - Reviews: 4816 - Favs: 3,184 - Follows: 4,653 - Updated: 9/29/2015 - Published: 10/25/2011 - Bella, Edward
Reign by RuthlesslyYours reviews
Be gentle, be sweet, speak of womanly things, but above all else give your king everything he desires, Lady Isabella Swan of Devonshire does none of these things...#Kingward
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 113,219 - Reviews: 3724 - Favs: 2,484 - Follows: 3,442 - Updated: 7/24/2015 - Published: 1/13/2014 - Edward, Bella
Quarterback Sneak by jayhawkbb reviews
As a Seattle sports talk radio host, it's my job to give my opinion on the Seahawks new quarterback, Edward Cullen. But maybe I shouldn't have said what I did...you know, about his butt. E/B Rated M for language and adult content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 131,262 - Reviews: 4132 - Favs: 3,401 - Follows: 4,848 - Updated: 7/13/2015 - Published: 8/31/2012
True Confessions of a Hollywood Dad by Deebelle1 reviews
I was content in the limelight until a coffee girl flipped my world upside down. Titles like 'Academy Award Winner' and the 'People's Choice' used to mean everything, but it's my newest title that I cherish the most...the Hollywood Dad. *The True Confessions of a Coffee Girl Sequel*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 53,289 - Reviews: 1736 - Favs: 1,159 - Follows: 1,744 - Updated: 6/12/2015 - Published: 9/4/2014
I Just Want To Dance: A Cinderella Story by LermanAddictx3 reviews
AU: All Human. Bella is a modern day cinderella, wants to go to dance school and have a good life, without her Step-dad Phil. Edward is a Famous singer, he wants a break for the music and goes back to school. what happens when they meet?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 36,266 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 6/11/2015 - Published: 1/1/2009
Onscreen Chemistry by winterhorses reviews
Bella, America's young sweetheart on screen, is starring in her first R-rated film. Her co-star is Edward Cullen, Hollywood's reputed playboy, and he won't give her the time of day. Will they fizzle onscreen as Bella attempts to turn up the heat in her first erotic scene, or can she cause a reaction powerful enough to burn through his arrogant, impassive facade?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 157,528 - Reviews: 2333 - Favs: 2,288 - Follows: 2,152 - Updated: 5/25/2015 - Published: 12/15/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Oblivious by LyricalKris reviews
Juggling two jobs and a full-time schedule of classes, college student Bella didn't have time to figure out just how sexy she could be. Her boss, Edward knew. She was going to figure it out sometime-why not with him? A woman in full possession of her wiles is a force to be reckoned with.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 40,530 - Reviews: 2074 - Favs: 2,100 - Follows: 2,044 - Updated: 5/24/2015 - Published: 2/12/2015 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Beautiful Stranger by NJNYTwiGals reviews
Newly divorced and single mom Bella decides it's time to let loose and have some fun at her friend's Halloween party. After an encounter with an alluring stranger, Bella's life turns upside down. AH-Cannon Couples. A one-shot turned multi-chapter
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 41 - Words: 308,255 - Reviews: 5130 - Favs: 3,561 - Follows: 3,224 - Updated: 5/10/2015 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Theories of Bellativity by kikki7 reviews
Bella Swan is a physician assistant student trying to survive a grueling clinical year. Add Dr. Edward Cullen, a cocky, irresistible ob/gyn resident. Throw in some chocolate, sprinkle with a few of Bella's quirky theories about life, and see what happens.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 120,217 - Reviews: 4992 - Favs: 5,259 - Follows: 6,573 - Updated: 2/15/2015 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Bella, Edward
The Slowest Burn by TypoKween reviews
"I don't even realize that the air has gotten hazy. Or that it smells like skunk, or that amidst the clouds of smoke, leaning against the wall is Edward Cullen." - AH, E/B, Lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 330,005 - Reviews: 7045 - Favs: 6,512 - Follows: 7,371 - Updated: 1/17/2015 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Bella, Edward
The Education of Professor Cullen by sheviking reviews
College professor Edward Cullen is thoroughly annoyed by his student Ms. Swan. Everything about her bothers him, and he longs for the semester to be over. But what happens when he meets her one night when they aren't in school?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 10723 - Favs: 9,286 - Follows: 7,012 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sear by Rochelle Allison reviews
Bella, one week into a housesitting job, has an unexpected, late night visitor. Written using WitFits. Short. Drama and romance, of course, but also...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 50,344 - Reviews: 5736 - Favs: 2,594 - Follows: 2,214 - Updated: 12/17/2014 - Published: 9/10/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Belong With You by twilightladies reviews
In those moments, I realize it's over. Planning to follow you to the same college is not an option. I can't be near you and watch you love another. With one last glance at my past, I turn and go back the way I came. I don't see you turning around or the smile that falls from your face when you see me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 57,989 - Reviews: 3147 - Favs: 1,790 - Follows: 2,242 - Updated: 11/16/2014 - Published: 2/16/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Collisions by Milk40 reviews
WINNER OF THE LEMONADE STAND FIC OF THE WEEK! A story by popular French author Drinou. Bella is a shy and clumsy girl employed by Edward, an authoritarian and abusive boss. Between games of seduction and indifference, a passionate relationship develops. All human. Rated M for lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 96,693 - Reviews: 1371 - Favs: 1,143 - Follows: 1,724 - Updated: 11/2/2014 - Published: 9/20/2011 - Bella, Edward
Tatted Hips and Wicked Lips by Hoodfabulous reviews
Bella can't stand Edward Cullen. She hates his tattoos, his piercings, and his stupid band. But mostly she hates how badly she wants him. He hates her too...or so she thinks. Will one iPhone fail change everything? My entry to LOL Text Message Contest. Won: Public Vote, Best Edward, Hottest Text Fail, Host's Choice- CaliGirlMon, Judges' Pick- SDFanFicChic.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 142,023 - Reviews: 4219 - Favs: 3,117 - Follows: 3,370 - Updated: 10/31/2014 - Published: 5/22/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Girl Code by LayAtHomeMom reviews
Friends are forever, boys are whatever - unless it's Edward Cullen. Then the gloves come off.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 65,949 - Reviews: 2969 - Favs: 2,120 - Follows: 2,225 - Updated: 10/30/2014 - Published: 6/26/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Silence is Golden Sex is Divine by Dishie reviews
Edward wanted her from the moment he saw her. Bella doesn't have time for a man. What happens when Edward takes a risk? The answer is he will possess her body, but she'll possess his heart. Will Bella learn who Edward really is? Silence is not always Golden, but the Sex sure is Divine!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 146,222 - Reviews: 2187 - Favs: 1,235 - Follows: 1,186 - Updated: 10/4/2014 - Published: 3/22/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
New Girl by LyricalKris reviews
Living with three guys was never going to be without drama. Jasper and Emmett were easy, but Edward was a little harder to enjoy. Bella guessed he was hiding a secret behind that abrasive exterior, but then again, so was she. A collab with EveryDayBella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,421 - Reviews: 2070 - Favs: 1,225 - Follows: 1,893 - Updated: 10/3/2014 - Published: 12/27/2013 - Bella, Edward
Boxing Out by MeilleurCafe reviews
Bella is a little lost while trying to make a new life in the Big Apple. Edward is a Manhattan police officer who knows it to the core. They meet at court. Will this new romance be a slam dunk? AH; M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 141,337 - Reviews: 2068 - Favs: 2,818 - Follows: 2,997 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 11/8/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
True Confessions of a Coffee Girl by Deebelle1 reviews
A perfect cafe au lait was all it took for Hollywood's most eligible bachelor to fall in love with me...the coffee girl.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 94,787 - Reviews: 3385 - Favs: 2,331 - Follows: 2,129 - Updated: 9/4/2014 - Published: 11/1/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mate of Honor by MagTwi78 reviews
Best friends Bella and Edward have a deal—if they're not married by the time they're 30, they'll marry each other. While she's been searching for Mr. Right, he's been busy with Miss. Right Now. Would you be happy seeing your long-time love say 'I do' to someone else? (Be warned: it's a slow burn) B & E, M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 61,769 - Reviews: 1568 - Favs: 920 - Follows: 1,566 - Updated: 8/23/2014 - Published: 11/29/2012 - Bella, Edward
Restoration by Elise de Sallier reviews
Resigned to her lonely fate, Bella risks her life to rescue a man left for dead by enemy soldiers. Edward turns out to be a little more than she bargained for, his presence awakening dangerous desires and inspiring dreams that could change her life—and the course of a Kingdom—forever. A Cinderbella tale.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 93,647 - Reviews: 2471 - Favs: 1,975 - Follows: 1,943 - Updated: 8/7/2014 - Published: 12/18/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Snapshots by LyricalKris reviews
When his older brother walked out on his girlfriend, Bella, on the worst night of her life, Edward was there to pick up the pieces. Jasper breezed back into town after being missing for three years to find his family had reformed around the hole he left behind.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 92,211 - Reviews: 3861 - Favs: 2,318 - Follows: 2,264 - Updated: 7/28/2014 - Published: 12/26/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Confessions of a Billionaire's W by RuthlesslyYours reviews
One time, no matter how hot or sexy was not enough. We both knew it. So he made me an offer I couldn't refuse. For the next year my body would belong to Edward R Cullen; the billionaire, the genius, the sex addict and the married man. How did I get here and why don't I want to leave?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 107,986 - Reviews: 3539 - Favs: 3,192 - Follows: 2,933 - Updated: 5/28/2014 - Published: 9/20/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cover Girl by smmiskimen reviews
Finishing up his senior year, Edward receives his acceptance letter to UNLV and embarks on a trip with his brother Emmett to see the campus. Unbeknownst to him, Emmett has other plans for the trip and Edward finds himself face to face with the woman of his dreams, the girl from the magazines, his Cover Girl. Will he keep his cool, or crash and burn? Banner by Astrid Green Eyes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 59,510 - Reviews: 780 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 470 - Updated: 5/24/2014 - Published: 2/16/2014 - Edward, Bella - Complete
A Second Chance by D-Twilighter reviews
Bella, a recent widow, is filled with grief at the loss of her husband. Moreover, she has to deal with a mother-in-law who always had a grudge against her and a brother-in-law who despised her, or so she thought. What happens when Edward, her brother-in-law, turns out to be the only person who can actually save her? And why is he so willing to do it?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,380 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 593 - Follows: 983 - Updated: 5/3/2014 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Bella, Edward
My Heart My Home by Edward's Eternal reviews
Edward Cullen, constantly in the spotlight, sought after British actor has had problems with his staff. He needs a new housekeeper. Bella, his manager's sister, is in a tight spot and needs a job. They meet … they talk … they bond. But how deep does the bond go? Can either of them figure it out? Will he realize what he already has?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 86,338 - Reviews: 6413 - Favs: 3,371 - Follows: 2,645 - Updated: 4/18/2014 - Published: 1/4/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Offbeat by SexyLexiCullen reviews
He's a cop. She's a student. A missed connection during a traumatic time leaves them both longing, until fate brings them back together again. Romance, humor, slight drama. Canon couples. OOC. AU. This is my version of Copward, and this is a working summary.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 97,677 - Reviews: 2709 - Favs: 1,684 - Follows: 2,352 - Updated: 3/9/2014 - Published: 9/19/2012 - Edward, Bella
A Few More F Words by anhanninen reviews
Fatherhood sequel. Five year old Sofia is starting school and Edward can't help but feel his baby is growing up too fast. While he and Bella try to juggle a hyper little girl, careers, and their relationship, they find out their lives are about to change drastically once more. All Human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 65,594 - Reviews: 2467 - Favs: 2,904 - Follows: 3,296 - Updated: 1/31/2014 - Published: 11/3/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
God Love Her by Lynyrd Lionheart reviews
Bella is the police chief's perfect daughter. Edward is the surgeon's delinquent son. When Bella catches her boyfriend cheating on her, she throws all caution to the wind and hops on the back of Edward's motorcycle for the ride of her life. All Human *Now Complete*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 92,037 - Reviews: 3127 - Favs: 3,578 - Follows: 2,946 - Updated: 12/6/2013 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fatherhood, Formula, and Other F Words by anhanninen reviews
When man-whore, foul-mouthed Edward's life takes an unexpected turn, he's left with a baby to raise. With the help of a friendly neighbor, he learns sometimes the unexpected could be the best thing that's ever happened. All Human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 142,732 - Reviews: 6423 - Favs: 6,235 - Follows: 4,780 - Updated: 12/1/2013 - Published: 11/3/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Ordinary Proposal by twilover76 reviews
Bella wants to escape her small-town life and live her dreams in New York. What happens when a man almost twice her age makes her an offer she can't refuse? AH/M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 163,556 - Reviews: 11004 - Favs: 8,483 - Follows: 6,665 - Updated: 12/1/2013 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Me and Mr Cullen by Catastrophia reviews
It was just a long weekend in Vegas, so how did eighteen year old high school senior Bella Swan end up married to thirty one year old movie exec, Edward Cullen? This is the story of their awkward life. Rated M for future lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 127,317 - Reviews: 8432 - Favs: 5,950 - Follows: 7,482 - Updated: 11/2/2013 - Published: 3/14/2012 - Bella, Edward
My Perfect Match by HappyMess reviews
Bella Swan never considered online dating. After all, she was only twenty-one. But after too many glasses of wine, her best friend convinces her otherwise. AH. Olderward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 63,180 - Reviews: 4020 - Favs: 2,891 - Follows: 2,928 - Updated: 9/21/2013 - Published: 2/24/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Holds Barred by jayhawkbb reviews
When Bella opens her dance studio right next to Edward's bar, will Edward hate her...or will he fall for the girl next door? BxE, AH, OOC, rated M for naughty language and behavior.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 207,603 - Reviews: 2640 - Favs: 3,287 - Follows: 4,073 - Updated: 9/19/2013 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Cullen Legacy by pattyrose reviews
Legacy - A gift; sometimes unknowingly bestowed. Bella met Edward in a London pub, never imagining where each would be 7 years later: he a Congressman fueled by ever-growing political ambition, she the woman with an explosive secret that can end all his dreams. But Bella might soon find that revenge isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that Edward may harbor his own dark secrets.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 44 - Words: 233,203 - Reviews: 15602 - Favs: 5,699 - Follows: 4,674 - Updated: 8/19/2013 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mise-en-Place by callmepagliacci reviews
I recreated his mother's recipes when he was homesick. I made meal plans when he had to gain or lose weight for a role. And when he wanted chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne for another woman he was bringing home, I made them with all the love in my heart—the love he'd never see. So I showed him with my food.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,170 - Reviews: 1583 - Favs: 1,575 - Follows: 1,753 - Updated: 8/1/2013 - Published: 4/19/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
At Last by coloradoperson reviews
Edward comes from wealth and all that that implies. His future is already written by his grandfather as it is for all the Cullen men. He has the right friends, attends the right schools, and he will marry the right woman. He always did what was expected of him and accepted it all without question until he met Bella, a student working her way through school, and everything changed.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 55,929 - Reviews: 956 - Favs: 713 - Follows: 1,113 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 9/8/2012 - Edward, Bella
All the President's Men by Shahula reviews
He's the most powerful man in the world, with nothing beyond his reach or influence. But is it enough to bring her back? Only time will tell. Presidentward. AH, Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 61,251 - Reviews: 3886 - Favs: 2,471 - Follows: 2,530 - Updated: 7/26/2013 - Published: 7/4/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Conventioneers by Catastrophia reviews
Innocent event coordinator Bella has her sanity challenged when the adult toy show comes to town. How will she cope with a world she's never seen and a man who's very comfortable in it? Rated M for lang and lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,507 - Reviews: 1054 - Favs: 1,330 - Follows: 2,033 - Updated: 7/8/2013 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Bella, Edward
Another Cinderella by vampireobsesser reviews
Bella has been abused all her life. After her mother dies,she moves to live with Charlie. But Charlie has gotten remarried. And then there's Edward,the player who has always gotten every girl,except Bella. How will she deal with him and Charlie?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 30,515 - Reviews: 507 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 7/3/2013 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bad Romance by CrystalBrooke reviews
AH. Bella is the New Girl. Edward is the school bad boy, with the rumours and reputation to match. Is any of it true? Will Edward's bet wreck everything he didn't even know he wanted? Street races, parties, piercings and a motorbike equals romance?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 62,417 - Reviews: 985 - Favs: 708 - Follows: 593 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 12/8/2009 - Bella, Edward
Let Love Lead The Way by KD Skywalker reviews
Bella ran away from Forks because she was pregnant with Edward's child and didn't want to tell him to ruin his "perfect life" - only to return to face the truth in the light of a personal tragedy. How would Edward react? AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 31 - Words: 53,653 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 6/3/2013 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Accidentally in Love by Missus T reviews
A personal ad for a fake fiancée leads to something they never expected. Two lonely souls discover that faking it might be the best thing that ever happened to them. ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 134,493 - Reviews: 4676 - Favs: 4,704 - Follows: 4,087 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 1/27/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Coming to Terms by GinnyW 31 reviews
A one night stand, a handful of condom wrappers, and Bella decides she's meant to be alone. Fate has other plans. Re-posted with minor edits.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 154,953 - Reviews: 1169 - Favs: 1,997 - Follows: 2,379 - Updated: 5/26/2013 - Published: 4/11/2012 - Bella, Edward
The Cullen Enterprise by Amethyst Jackson reviews
ALL HUMAN: Bella has no idea how she's going to continue supporting herself and her recovering father on her meager income…until a certain CEO waltzes in with an offer she can't refuse.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,680 - Reviews: 4592 - Favs: 3,450 - Follows: 4,908 - Updated: 5/5/2013 - Published: 9/22/2012 - Bella, Edward
Words with Friends by Nolebucgrl reviews
Bella Swan has a major crush on a major star, Edward Cullen. They have an obsession with the same game. Can they connect through Words with Friends and become more than that? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 62 - Words: 353,055 - Reviews: 19469 - Favs: 8,904 - Follows: 6,655 - Updated: 4/20/2013 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sideline Collision by Nolebucgrl reviews
A cocky QB runs into a snarky band geek. What happens when they collide on and off the field? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 196,343 - Reviews: 12487 - Favs: 8,048 - Follows: 6,251 - Updated: 4/11/2013 - Published: 2/15/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Naughty Babysitter by savannavansmutsmut reviews
Party-throwing Edward gets slapped with a babysitter after his parents lose it. Bella, a pristine college student and neighbor, is asked to babysit in hopes she'll rub off on him, and boy does she ever... Banner Made by SoapyMayhem
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 79,093 - Reviews: 1267 - Favs: 928 - Follows: 827 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Insatiable Desires by ItzMegan73 reviews
What happens when the paths of two highly intelligent hypersexuals cross?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 87,528 - Reviews: 1792 - Favs: 3,111 - Follows: 4,068 - Updated: 3/29/2013 - Published: 11/8/2011 - Bella, Edward
Cougar Town by smmiskimen reviews
Never underestimate the appeal of a seventeen year old boy. Bella Swan is Emmett's mom and Edward's teacher. What happens when she crosses the line with her son's best friend? E&B, AH, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 82,430 - Reviews: 1358 - Favs: 781 - Follows: 684 - Updated: 3/23/2013 - Published: 8/6/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Presidential Treatment by smmiskimen reviews
President Edward Cullen decides to pass a bill that will change life as Bella Swan knows it. A misplaced Jimmy Choo and a stupid publicity stunt will change the lives of Edward and Bella. Are either of them ready?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 51 - Words: 148,756 - Reviews: 3480 - Favs: 2,269 - Follows: 1,794 - Updated: 3/23/2013 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Affair by johnnyboy7 reviews
After the death of her father, Isabella Swan moves to the East coast where she meets dentist Edward Cullen. He's older, a father, and married. Sometimes, you can't tell your heart who to love.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 83,525 - Reviews: 4970 - Favs: 3,053 - Follows: 2,995 - Updated: 2/27/2013 - Published: 7/21/2012 - Bella, Edward
A Presidential Love Affair by muggleinlove reviews
Bella is the President's daughter and America's sweetheart. At 18 she's ready to go out and explore the world but is tied down with her father's re-election campaign. Edward is the President's new speechwriter that is immediately smitten with Bella, but has his own personal demons to work through. Can the two make a relationship work under a political microscope?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 46,183 - Reviews: 1178 - Favs: 762 - Follows: 1,114 - Updated: 2/21/2013 - Published: 7/13/2012 - Bella, Edward
Living Life by The Irish Cullen reviews
When Edward fell for Bella he knew his life would change forever, watch as he navigates this life with just love and a plan. Love, laughs, a crazy cat and some unexpected twists, he's ready to live his life, are you ready to read it? Day to Day Sequel *Must read DTD first* R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 38 - Words: 197,561 - Reviews: 2299 - Favs: 1,160 - Follows: 978 - Updated: 1/26/2013 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Search by Amber1983 reviews
When Bella Swan flees to London to escape her painful and humiliating past her new life is knocked off its axis by her charismatic and ambitious boss, Edward Cullen. Can Ed unravel Bella's secrets and get what he wants without revealing his own demons...and his heart? AH. Britishward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 182,812 - Reviews: 3438 - Favs: 3,045 - Follows: 2,455 - Updated: 1/21/2013 - Published: 9/2/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
From This Day Forward by Hopesparkles reviews
Betrayed just days before her wedding, Bella's personal and professional life hang in the balance. When one of her closest friends offers to be the stand-in groom, Bella will find that sometimes the best things in life really aren't what you planned.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 71,566 - Reviews: 2566 - Favs: 2,612 - Follows: 2,117 - Updated: 11/6/2012 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Life Would Suck Without You by Neurotika reviews
Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are best friends. They were born on the same day, in the same hospital and for the first few hours of their lives, their families shared a room. This story follows Bella and Edward as they grow up and their lives change. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,422 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 9/25/2012 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
At Last by Michelle M. Marie reviews
At Last Bella's love has come along - in the form of a one night stand. "You never know what you're missing until you suddenly get what you want without asking for it. Does that even make sense? No? Well, neither did my life after I met Edward Cullen." A/H
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 64,848 - Reviews: 1120 - Favs: 1,256 - Follows: 1,438 - Updated: 9/19/2012 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fatty by kitkat681 reviews
Edward Cullen can't find something that's very important to him...his wang. But that's what happens when you are 363 pounds. Bella Swan is his only chance to live a real life and find what's missing and so much more. No angst, a tiny bit of drama. Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 53,040 - Reviews: 4747 - Favs: 1,933 - Follows: 1,896 - Updated: 9/9/2012 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Time Changes by twiXlite reviews
Edward is the geek of Forks High. Favourite plaything of the 'populars' especially Bella Swan. When his family moves away and on their return to Forks Edward is not the same geeky boy who left. And the 'populars' have met their match with the new Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 92,959 - Reviews: 950 - Favs: 939 - Follows: 1,101 - Updated: 9/1/2012 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Edward, Bella
My Little Bride by lovesam reviews
AH/AU OOC. Bella and Edward are forced into an arranged marriage by a pact made by their grandfathers. can a high school girl and a college graduate make this marriage work or will high school crushes and unwanted attention get in the way? first fanfic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,931 - Reviews: 918 - Favs: 660 - Follows: 722 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cullen Inheritance by twilightluver001 reviews
Money. Respect. NYC. Edward Cullen had them all, being the grandson of Elizabeth Cullen. When out of nowhere came in Bella Swan, who saved Gran's life, his life began to go downhill. Now he was in danger of losing his most prized possession: his legacy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,542 - Reviews: 876 - Favs: 631 - Follows: 799 - Updated: 6/23/2012 - Published: 9/6/2010 - Edward, Bella
Hiding in Plain Sight by limona reviews
Bella is a witness in peril. Emmett Cullen is the deputy assigned to protect her. When the witness protection program isn't safe, Emmett asks Bella to pose as his brother Edward's fiancée until the trial. AU, AH, ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 141,120 - Reviews: 10670 - Favs: 11,888 - Follows: 12,514 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
Day to Day by The Irish Cullen reviews
When Edward's older brother Emmett decides it time for Edward to come out of his OCD shell, Edward will find himself doing something he never imagined he would. Falling in love. A story about truly finding yourself and living your life for you.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 148,774 - Reviews: 2276 - Favs: 1,891 - Follows: 1,079 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Two of a Kind by Nilla79 reviews
Bella, 23, and Edward, 25, meet at a social event. As far as appearances go, they couldn't be more different, but they are instantly drawn to each other. Could they really be soul mates? And will the people around them accept their relationship?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 153,679 - Reviews: 2637 - Favs: 1,928 - Follows: 1,452 - Updated: 5/20/2012 - Published: 10/13/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
When The Lights Call by pixie4eva reviews
Twelve celebrities. Twelve fans. Twelve houses. Twelve weeks. One million dollars. That line grabs Bella Swan's attention from the first moment she reads it. The tag line to the most anticipated show of the year, I Want to Marry a Celebrity! Full summary inside. (Discontinued, more information inside.)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 363 - Reviews: 1227 - Favs: 994 - Follows: 1,257 - Updated: 4/3/2012 - Published: 8/21/2010 - [Edward, Bella]
Wedding Cake by mybirdhouse reviews
Edward is getting married to Jessica, Bella just happens to be the wedding cake designer. Alice and Rosalie soon become her best friends. What happens when Bella begins to fall for the groom? Read&Review Loves!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 52,928 - Reviews: 1034 - Favs: 558 - Follows: 544 - Updated: 3/4/2012 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Five Mistakes I Made That Led Me to You by Catastrophia reviews
At 30, Edward realizes that he made five monumental mistakes in his life, but what he didn't realize was that those mistakes would be profoundly life altering; leading him to her. A romantic drabble in EPOV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 19,217 - Reviews: 1193 - Favs: 929 - Follows: 467 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 1/2/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13056 - Favs: 6,155 - Follows: 2,784 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
More Than Words by SydneyAlice reviews
A special, uncomplicated friendship is formed through email. What happens when their simple daily chats become more than just words on a computer screen?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,703 - Reviews: 3456 - Favs: 2,141 - Follows: 1,163 - Updated: 10/9/2011 - Published: 9/5/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Welcome to the Real World by twilightluver001 reviews
Sequel to "Welcome to Drama Academy". As Bella and Edward continue pursuing their careers, they find life isn't as easy as they thought it would be. How will they overcome the pressure from work and family together? Takes place 6 years after Drama Academy
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 163,948 - Reviews: 5862 - Favs: 2,638 - Follows: 2,495 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Complete
When Fiction Becomes Reality by BITTENEV reviews
Bella is a writer whose most successful book is one she wrote about Edward, her high school crush. Edward is now an A-list actor and has signed on to star in a movie based on Bella's creation. AU/AH Bella-of-the-Ball continuation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 157,715 - Reviews: 8168 - Favs: 8,307 - Follows: 8,472 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Into the Night by ireadway2much reviews
Bella is a gypsy girl, Edward is a city boy. She is to be married to a family friend. He is courting a woman who is to save his family from debt. She wants the city boy, and he wants the gypsy girl. Their parents aren't happy, and they have a rocky start.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 29 - Words: 44,765 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Doctor's Orders by mybluesky reviews
Nurse Swan vows to never date a doctor, presuming them all to be egotistical jerks. But will she change her mind when she starts a new job and meets the handsome Dr. Cullen, or will his advances only strengthen her resolve? AH, OOC, Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 166,845 - Reviews: 9842 - Favs: 6,912 - Follows: 5,279 - Updated: 6/25/2011 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Edward, Bella
The Girl Next Door by yourbrowneyedgirl reviews
Childhood sweethearts turned bitter are forced to pose as a married couple. If the wrong people find out their marriage is a sham, they'll both be killed. The one thing they didn't expect? Falling in love all over again. ExB, All Human, Bella POV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 62,783 - Reviews: 1654 - Favs: 755 - Follows: 791 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ambivalence by Twilightx28 reviews
Best friends,Edward & Bella,uprooted from London now live in Chicago.Bella is soon to stuggle with new-found feelings for Edward,who unfortunetly,has a girlfriend.Many unexpected events occur & finally Bella tells him.His reaction isn't as expected.BxE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 57 - Words: 286,556 - Reviews: 1775 - Favs: 696 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 1/22/2011 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Playing The Part by Lauraaaaa reviews
AU/ AH Collab. He’s a famous actor and she’s an English teacher. Apart from being best friends in high school, and unknowingly talking to each other online, what could they possibly have in common?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 62,569 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Bella, Edward
Code Name: Nanny by xvampiree reviews
“So let me get this straight, you want me to help you catch your wife cheating on you, so that you can divorce her, while taking care of your children?” OOC M for language and Lemons Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 93,371 - Reviews: 4383 - Favs: 3,040 - Follows: 3,473 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
What Happens in Vegas by BlushingBlondie reviews
It's beautiful." I whispered, as I lifted my hand to look at the diamond ring closer. Then, reality set in. "We're MARRIED?" ExB!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 23,408 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 12/3/2010 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Bella, Edward
Art School Confidential by farkle reviews
Bella finds her artistic muse and total embarrassment in person of life model Edward. How can she get him to model for her when he thinks she is a sex-crazed flake? AU-AH, M for nudity, language, lemons. Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 139,995 - Reviews: 4271 - Favs: 4,177 - Follows: 4,694 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Circumstance by boniron16 reviews
Full summary inside. Nominated for the Indie Twilight Awards and three Sparketeerawards including Best Angst and Best Cliffhanger. This is the story of Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, and his son...Andy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 157,320 - Reviews: 673 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The marriage of hell by Ashley lyell reviews
An arranged marriage. An arranged marriage accepted by me! What the hell was I thinking? Edward being the irresponsible rich player in school, and me being the clumsy girl, this wouldn't work out! Why me? Why couldn't carlisle choose someone else?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,742 - Reviews: 656 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 11/13/2010 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Reasons Why He Drives Me Crazy by jumarxie reviews
Bella is the heir to her parents' company in Forks. She's convinced that she's destined in single life. What would she do if she finds out that she's arranged to marry someone since birth? To the guy she despises for breaking her heart.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 73,063 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 537 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Longer Loved by twilightfan22494 reviews
Bella and Edward knew each other in 1918. Bella was his girlfrind but vanished. Bella was changed and then met Edward years later with someone else. His fiancée, Tanya. Edward can't remember his human life but can he remember her? FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 45,500 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 10/15/2010 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Revenge is Sweeter by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
After a very public break up in the school parking lot that involves Bella showing her underwear to the whole school, Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan declare war. Remaining friends with the ex? So not an option...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 44,935 - Reviews: 1922 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 565 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Nanny Bella Strikes Again by syr1101 reviews
SEQUEL TO NANNY BELLA. After four months Bella now craves a baby. She dreams of becoming a mother to little bronze hair green eye babies. Will Edward deliver her ultimate wish? Will marriage be a marital bliss with a baby in between? AH/ ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,596 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Bella, Edward
Beauty is Only Skin Deep by Lauraaaaa reviews
Successful Bella Swan is sure that she will never find someone to love her for who she is, rather than her money. But then she hires nerd Edward Cullen. Can he win her over, and prove that behind every geek is a prince just waiting to shine?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,593 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 8/26/2010 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Bella, Edward
The Tales of a Charming TruckNapper by Mk Marie reviews
Edward makes one memorable first impression! "Stop listening to my music, get off my cell phone, and bring back my truck!" I seethed. "Now!" Are first impressions really the most important? Let's hope not. AU-HUMAN. OOC. All canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 114,368 - Reviews: 5697 - Favs: 3,113 - Follows: 1,443 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Foreign Hottie by blackxout reviews
Edward Cullen is a foreign exchange student from London who comes to live with the Swans for a whole year. Bella Swan couldn’t be anymore upset over the fact that a boy has to share a room with her. Could her feelings toward him ever change? OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 46,181 - Reviews: 4992 - Favs: 2,629 - Follows: 2,769 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 4/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
Teacher Dearest by Grace Cullen reviews
Bella Swan is a kindergarten teacher who everyone adores. But after getting horrible news she moves to Florida and starts to teach there. In Florida she meets two small emerald-eyed children, Emma and Nick, who belong to no other than Edward Cullen. AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 42,159 - Reviews: 1022 - Favs: 757 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Just Another Red Rose by That Teddy Bear Over There reviews
Alice dared Bella to go on the reality TV show 'The Bachelor.' Edward Cullen is the sexy Bachelor, that nobody can resist. Friendships will form, and alliances too. But when pregnancies and ex's interfere, what will happen? AU,AH, Canon Pairings. R&R! ;D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 28,381 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Prince by luv-edward cullen-forever reviews
Bella is a basketball player, Edward's a prince and they go to the same school and they hate eachother,but when one of the Bella's team member quits who will replace him? it's a really cute story plz give it a chance!:P
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 37,808 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bad boy Edward needs to be taught a lesson. So his teachers come up with a plan- ‘marry’ him to the best behaved girl in school! How will his ego survive spending ‘eternity’ with Bella Swan! Little OOC. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 70 - Words: 279,341 - Reviews: 16020 - Favs: 7,214 - Follows: 3,301 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hold On Tight by help-me-think-of-a-name reviews
Bella has everything she could ever want: huge house, popularity, money... But what happens when she's forced to go on an exchange, having to live with Edward Cullen and his large catholic family on their farm in Ireland for a whole year? AH B/OOC R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,672 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Edward, Bella
1810 by notnowgarrison reviews
Isabella Swan, princess of France, is the care-free, fun-loving girl. Prince Edward Cullen of England never knew much of life besides the law. When Princess Isabella bumps into him while on the run from her own wedding, these two are in for an adventure.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 62,212 - Reviews: 902 - Favs: 718 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 6/11/2010 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bellarella by jaxsmommy23 reviews
Starting with a lost cell phone, ending with a changed life. Bella’s dealt with unfavorable events and unlikeable people. With his past and urge for revenge, it would be a surprise for her to walk away unharmed and for Edward to be happy with his choices.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 57 - Words: 121,200 - Reviews: 924 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 6/2/2010 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
Once Upon a Time by Twilighter1215 reviews
Bella is a princess. Her bodyguard, Edward is an old childhood friend and has been in love with her since they were kids. Now that they are older though he his keeping things professional, but will he admit his feeling? Will Bella realize she loves him?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,999 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 12/13/2008 - Bella, Edward
Just Say Yes by I Bit A Pillow Or 2 reviews
Bella goes to college in England, there she meets some interesting new friends including the sexy, charming, arrogant Prince Edward Cullen. Will she fall for him, and will he finally stop his player ways and fall in love?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 50,460 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 4/10/2010 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Bella, Edward
Controlled Burn by staceygirl aka jackbauer reviews
Summary: Bella has always joked about marrying Alice’s much younger brother so she could be a part of her best friend’s family, but now he’s all grown up and hot. Bella tries to control the burn for him, but it quickly becomes a raging fire. ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 124,722 - Reviews: 11397 - Favs: 4,762 - Follows: 2,236 - Updated: 2/25/2010 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Complete
Welcome to the Real World Outtakes by Mk Marie reviews
Missing scenes from my story, Welcome to the Real World. It includes EPOV from when Bella tells him of the pregnancy, CPOV when he sees her file, the boys at Toys R'us, the birthing class, and many others.Read Real World first or it won't make any sense
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,438 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 10/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Another Chance by Twilightx28 reviews
Bella had been ignored by her mother since her sister had been born, While Charlie made it his job to never let her feel left out; until one day it was enough. A move to New York changes their lives after a quick divorce. Here is the story of change. Just add in some crazy friends and a whirlwind romance and we have Another Chance.BxE, Canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 60 - Words: 185,295 - Reviews: 1934 - Favs: 1,057 - Follows: 475 - Updated: 2/11/2010 - Published: 3/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mischievous Dare by Sabyn1993 reviews
Bella Swan is dared to reject every invitation to a date for a week. What happens when Edward Cullen asks her on a date and turns...persistent?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,894 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 2/8/2010 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Unexpected by Ariellove12 reviews
Bella is head cheerleader, Edward is football quarterback. They're both 17 and are the perfect couple. But what happens when Bella gets pregnant? My first fanfiction. AH/AU/OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,120 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Life ain't been no Crystal Stair by XDCaramel reviews
Having been raised in poverty and through hard times, Bella Swan resents the wealthy who "have it easy". Edward Cullen is a rich arrogant man who thinks the world revolves around him. Can they convince each other otherwise? ExB All human. DISCONTINUED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 105,462 - Reviews: 1073 - Favs: 568 - Follows: 618 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
Forbidden True Love by Lauraaaaa reviews
All human Bella Swan gets a summer job for working as a cleaner to the handsome Mr Cullen. Can she hide her feelings for him, and how will he respond? there will be a LOT more twists: First EVER fan fic Please review :D some OOC-but VERY mild NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 118,858 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 10/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Kiss with a Side of Fries by luv2read134 reviews
Bella works at McDonald's. Take her job and throw in a gorgeous green-eyed customer, spilled fries, a fat lady, and a kiss, and you get the beginning of a hot romance. AH. B/E. Now Extended.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,913 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Forks Boarding Academy by egyptianchic101 reviews
Edward and Bella have hated eachother since grade school. Now they start high school at Forks Boarding Academy to get away from eachother. But thay don't know that they will both be attending the same school. Will sparks fly or hatred rise? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,239 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Edward, Bella
Forbidden by Twilightx28 reviews
Bella & Edward meet one night at an event.Their parents are rivals & hate eachother,demanding them to stay away from eachother.They secretly meet,soon falling in love.They are thrown into a series of events as they fight for the love they have.ExB, Human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 51 - Words: 180,940 - Reviews: 1555 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Lost and Found by Edward cullen is my hero reviews
Bella and Alice are best friends.They go to the Cullens circus extravaganza 1day where Alice gets attacked by a lion and died.3years later Bella moves to Forks to live.What happens when she assumes she sees Alice alive with the circus? ExB RxE AxJ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 52 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/18/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Learning to live by persempretj reviews
Bella just moves back to Boston with her life planned out. Finish school and then on to the life she's dreamed of. She's learned her lesson with smooth talking Harvard boys and is intent on keeping her distance, but maybe this one could be different?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 147,137 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 12/17/2009 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I remember you by Quiet Flame reviews
New twist on Twilight when Bella is five years old she takes a picture of Edward while she is on vacation with her mom 12 years later when Bella moves to Forks to live with her dad she realizes the boy at her school is the same guy in her picture!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,407 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 12/16/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Just Friends? by ImWithTheVampires181 reviews
When Edward was human he had a Best Friend named Bella. When Edward "died" Bella was Changed. So what happens when 100 years later she meets him again. Will they fall in love or will they keep denying what is there, or will something split them apart?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,274 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 12/9/2009 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ballerina BookwormXFlirter Pianist by luvnovels123 reviews
Bella and Edward is studying at the same school.Edward is a flirter and Bella is a bookworm.Bella hate Edward due to his flirting and he THINKS he dosen't care.They went to an audition and were paired up together for a competiton.Will love blossom?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,376 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Camp Cullen by chefgirl4622 reviews
Bella's parents send her to a boot camp after an incident at home. Little did they know, it's an abusive bootcamp. Not only does Bella have to deal with the constant harrasment , but there's also the constant attraction to one of the camp leaders ...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 14,431 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Nanny Bella by syr1101 reviews
Recent College Graduate who can't find a job ends up working at the Cullen Residence and meets Edward Cullen, sparks may fly but sometimes the road to love may take more than a babysitting gig. A/H EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 55,459 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 352 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 11/12/2009 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Stripes by StoryWriter96 reviews
what if bella became an immortal shapeshifter after Edward left? What would happen? will she be mad if she sees him again? find out. rated T just in case
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,353 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/11/2009 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Bella, Edward
A New Start by Anne191091 reviews
When Bella was in the 6th grade she was picked on. By Edward. She moved. Something happened and now she’s back. Living with Edward. Will they Fall in love? Was there a misunderstanding? R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 26,413 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 11/2/2009 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Bella, Edward
Princess Bella by jess-luvs-music reviews
Isabella Swan is a princess in France. Her mother arranged Bella a marriage with Edward Cullen, Prince of Italy. what happens when Bella falls in love and Edward cheats on her. Years later they meet again. will sparks fly all over again... Reiview!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 42,636 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 10/22/2009 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Masked by Luvinlifee reviews
Bella goes to a masquerade ball and fall in love with someone. She doesn't know his name, she just remembers his emerald green eyes. BellaxEdward. Rated T. Better inside! AH. FINISHED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 30,933 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Million More Mistakes by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bella is pregnant with her BFFs brother, Edward. Scared, she moves away but, 5 years later, Edward shows up. As Bella falls for him again, she realises that she has to tell him everything... until he introduces his fiancee... NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 130,436 - Reviews: 4389 - Favs: 2,960 - Follows: 995 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Just Keep Moving by Damon4eva reviews
Spark Sequel! Edward and Bella are caught kissing in a classroom and have been on the run since. Will the police catch them or eventually give up? And will they realise Bella's real 'special ability' before it gets them into trouble?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,497 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 9/27/2009 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Welcome to the Real World by Mk Marie reviews
Bella and Edward have been friends for years. What happens to their relationship when she comes home for a visit, carrying a secret that will change everything? How will it affect all the others? All Human, AU. All canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 180,550 - Reviews: 2571 - Favs: 1,505 - Follows: 601 - Updated: 9/25/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Crap! I Married Edward Cullen! by Lord of the Pixies reviews
On a trip to Vegas with her friends, Bella Swan accidentally married superstar Edward Cullen while drunk. Whats worse is that Edward tells her they need to wait TWO WHOLE WEEKS to get a divorce,Oh, and she has to keep the entire thing SECRET. AH. OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,138 - Reviews: 396 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 9/21/2009 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
What are players for? by JessLovesTheGreen reviews
Edward is the schools biggest player and Bella is the misunderstood teenager but what happens when Alice gives Bella a makeover and Edward wants Bella? Drama there will be :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 44,212 - Reviews: 870 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 9/3/2009 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
Lovely As You by jewlzncoolz reviews
Bella has a wonderful friendship with Edward. Although she wishes it was more she doesn't want to risk their friendship. But what if he wants the same. will they be able to get together? Or will Bella's strict parents stop them from falling in love?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 40 - Words: 72,243 - Reviews: 696 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 9/1/2009 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Complete
Dreaming of You by bukwc reviews
Isabella Swan dreams of the boy she has two classes with. But will Edward Cullen ever notice clumsy Bella? This is my first story so please RR. ExB AxJ EmxR Rated T for some older language
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 48,202 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Bella, Edward
Thinking Of You by alwaysandforever.x reviews
No one forgets their first love. Edward dies in the second world war and leaves behind his broken hearted fiancee Bella. 3 years later she thinks she can move on but what happens when Edward returns? Based on the song by Katy Perry. ExB. Human/Vampire.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 45,826 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Heartbreak and Harvard by vampiregirl143 reviews
AH Edward and Bella have been best friends since birth, but Edward broke her heart on her 13th birthday. 5 years later with both of them attending Harvard in the fall will Bella find it in her heart to forgive him, or will it be heartbreak all over again?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 56 - Words: 122,032 - Reviews: 2021 - Favs: 1,356 - Follows: 693 - Updated: 8/2/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Insult to Injury by Blktgrrdrse reviews
Bella Swan is a well known Broadway actress who has been casted to play the leading role in a new movie version of Wuthering Heights. The problems begin weeks before filming when co-star Edward Cullen insults her before they even meet! Lemons!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 77,461 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Complete
Prom Night by Jazz425 reviews
Its nothing even related to the movie! 'I kneeled to the ground and cried louder. I made my hands into fists and brought them up to my temples and screamed like I never had before. It was more a scream of frustration then anything else.' Read 1st! ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 51,851 - Reviews: 471 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella - Complete
Sparks by AlexCullen54321 reviews
Bella move’s in with Alice and her parents after both of her parents die in a terrible accident, what will happen when Bella meets Alice’s cousin Edward? Edward is a jerk and they hate each other at first, but will sparks eventually fly? All Human. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 110,862 - Reviews: 875 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I am Edward Cullen’s Fiancée by Selene11 reviews
“What exactly do you want me to do?" "You would be working as my fiancée." “Fiancée? Is this some sort of a joke? Am I on TV? Who would hire someone to act as his fiancée?” “Me.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 93,786 - Reviews: 2496 - Favs: 1,659 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Then Fate Walked In by faking the sunset reviews
AH E/B Bella Swan first met the charming Edward Masen at their adoption centre when she was ten, but then he gets adopted. After a chance meeting eight years later, will the feelings still be as strong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 47,166 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Bella by StoryWriter96 reviews
Bella is a famous singer, when Alice shows up at one of her concerts what do you think she'll do? well read it to find out. and please review! rated T just in case. I OWN NOTHING
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,126 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
BFF means no matter what by Makena'lei reviews
Edward and Bella met in an orphanage, both having tragic pasts and lost families. They bond sharing a room, and eventually get adopted, never to see each other again. Or so they thought. Review please, AH, OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 41,945 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 7/2/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Only Fools Rush In by Silly-Ren reviews
Alice forces Bella to go to her cousin’s birthday party who Bella’s never met. Bella reluctantly agrees but somehow manages to get herself in a very confusing predicament. How will Edward react to it? Rated TEEN! All Human: ExB, AxJ, EmxR / Some swearing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,273 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 6/30/2009 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Bella, Edward
Forks in All its Glory by Silly-Ren reviews
Blood was coursing through my body, hot and fast. I felt lured to him in a way I couldn't explain but at the same time I knew it was wrong. Love? Please, he was my best friend...even after all those years we were separated. Human: ExB/EmxR/JxA. Rated T.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 63,086 - Reviews: 1295 - Favs: 507 - Follows: 553 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
Coffee and a Kiss by luv2read134 reviews
EPOV of "A Kiss with a Side of Fries". All Edward wants is a cup of coffee. He walks into a McDonald's and sees a beautiful brown-haired girl behind the counter. Add spilled fries, a fat lady, and a lot of chemistry, and you get one hot kiss. Now Extended
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,500 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Hidden Identity by Kisses of Chocolate reviews
Bella is a girl who seeks meaning in her life, and only finds it in books. Edward is a Prince who is next in line to be king; he wants to be free of the Palace walls. They meet and become friends. But Then James comes to stay, and has plans of his own.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,105 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
So Close by Twilightx28 reviews
With everything that happened, Bella left and went to college, after college she opened a music hall in Chicago and now lives there.She has made friends and is mostly happy.What happens when she see's some familar faces from her past? Sequel to blotdf
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 75,469 - Reviews: 707 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Supermassive Black hole: High School Reunion by anotherwayout reviews
Bella, spent all her life falling for her best friend's brother. She confesses at their graduation party but gets embarrassed in front of everyone. She leaves, becomes successful and comes back for their 10 year high school reunion.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,291 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 12/31/2008
Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by anotherwayout reviews
Bella Swan, an artistic college freshman, moves to Chicago and meets Dr.Edward Cullen in the airport. they both feel intoxicated by each other, but with their age difference, how will the people around them react?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,496 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Assassin by anotherwayout reviews
AH,summary changed. Isabella Swan, a deadly Assassin/frustrated teenager decides to run away from her organization and live a normal life in forks. But faith seems to have it's own plans for her and one is to meet The rich playboy, Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 28,752 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 5/19/2009 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Stars Dazzle Me by AsItThunders reviews
Bella Swan is chosen to star in the latest movie with superstar Edward Cullen who's used to having girls fall at his feet. She's sassy and smart and sees him as an egotistical player. Can they learn to work together? T to be safe. Sum sucks, better inside
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,407 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Bella, Edward
Thanks to the Children by keep austin wierd reviews
REVISED! After Jake cheated on Bella, she ran away to Seattle. She tripped on a soccer ball, that led her to meet two twins, who happened to be Edward Cullen's. COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 46,416 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 582 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 4/22/2009 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breakaway by xcaitlinnnnn reviews
Bella becomes a runaway bride and ends up meeting a mysterious stranger. AH/AU/a bit OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,713 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 2/2/2009
Blue Tide by Twilightx28 reviews
Edward & Bella were best friends.Bella goes to NY,To see if her singing can get her somewhere.It does.She lost all contact with him.Now she is famous & is 17 yrs old.She has to play a gig in Malibu when she sees Edward.What happens?BxE Full summary insi
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 59,862 - Reviews: 629 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 4/4/2009 - Published: 1/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Blind Love on the Dance Floor by Twilightx28 reviews
After Bella's mom gets re-married Bella moves to Forks with her dad.School comes around & her and Alice are friends of the bat.Bella loves dancing.She trys out & is partnered with Edward Cullen.Will sparks fly.What happens when Renee wants her back home?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 32,877 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 3/30/2009 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Loved Again by StoryWriter96 reviews
200 years after edward left bella. sort of fast and chapters all on 1 page. Disclaimer:I OWN NOTHING! rated T just in case. BxE please reveiw!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,869 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Week at HellMart by moon.cherry.twilite reviews
The Cullens along with Jacob get jobs at Wal-Mart. Obviously, it gets hilariously ugly. Rated for lots of...stuff. Totally random!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,360 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/20/2008 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Complete
Manager of:
Community: bella and edward romance and drama story
Focus: Books Twilight

Staff of:
  1. Funny cullen family stories
    Books Twilight