Author has written 19 stories for Firefly, Harry Potter, Fullmetal Alchemist, O.C., Smallville, and Prince of Persia.
My name is Sarah, I live in Sleepy Hollow(Cooma), Australia. (Sleepy Hollow would probably be more fun, minus the mercenary with a pumpkin for a head)
I HAVE AN ACCOUNT ON FICTIONPRESS.COM
MY USERNAME IS: MoreThanALoveSong
Not much to say, except I love to write, it's like my outlet whenever, however I feel.
P.S. You should probably know that I'm really random, easily excitable, easily amused, and I like to make stupid jokes. Just some fun facts.
Books: Harry Potter, The Vampire Chronicles, crime novels, anything with an interesting story line and lots of drama...
Movies: Japanese movies, English comedies and Dramas, Thrillers, some Horrors, Dramas.
Music: Rap and Rock mostly (Christian), but I pretty much like a bit of everything. Except Techno and Hardcore.
Fav Fanfiction: Firefly, BtVS, Dark Angel, Doctor Who, Death Note, The O.C, Prince of Persia.
TV shows: Smallville, Heroes, Crossing Jordan, NCIS, Alias, Xena, Firefly, Buffy, The O.C, Dark Angel, Doctor Who(the tenth doctor), Death Note, Saikano, Tsukihime, Neon Genesis: Evangelion, Tru Calling, Numbers,
General info: I like writing stories and songs. I like car games with angry music(Burnout Revenge rules!) and I like fighting, adventure and Samurai games, ie, Mortal Kombat, Bloody Roar, Street Fighter. I love reading. I love Anime.Shows like Tsukihime, Saikano, Neon Genesis: Evangelion, Vampire Hunter D, Naruto, Blood+.
School Answering Machine
This is the message that the Maroochydore High School Queensland , staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine . This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.
The outgoing message:
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and
several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it. These are just for fun. I haven't actually done anything like this. Though I would like to =P
How to annoy people in the elevator!
You know that feeling you get when you are in an elevator with a stranger? We all have it, and if you really want to make some points, try some of these!
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. Blow spit bubbles. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. Bring a chair along. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" Do Tai Chi exercises. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" Give religious tracts to each passenger. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"Lean against the button panel. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" Leave a box between the doors. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Meow occassionally. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. One word: Flatulence! Play the harmonica. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. Say "Ding!" at each floor. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. Sell Girl Scout cookies. Shadow box. Shave. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" Start a sing-along. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
How To Annoy People In A Movie
1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!” 6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. 11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
13. Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can’t change the channel. 16. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
17. Every time a character’s name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino…)
18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
19. Try to start a wave.
20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. 21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, “No profanity!”
23. Sing with the theme music.
24. Bring and use your own air freshener.
25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, “I’ll have two tickets for the Goonies.” 26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can’t get scraped off.
27. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, “Shh, I’m trying to read!”
30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. 31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, “Ahhh, whiplash!”
34. Ask what the theater’s return policy on popcorn is.
35. Ask the person at the ticket window, “Do you work here?” 36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
38. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing “Let’s all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat”
39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, “Hit the floor!”, jump on the floor, and cover your head.
40. Wear one of those “cat in the hat” top hats. 41. Get 3 people together and act like you are Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
42. Before the movie starts, stand up, and imitate the Truth commercial saying, “The makers of this film couldn’t find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin`, or cool so instead, they’ll just smoke.”
43. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, “Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!”
44. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
45. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. 46. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting “Hooters!”
47. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
48. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
49. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking.
50. Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting “Get your popcorn, peanuts!”
Ways To Annoy People In Public Toilets
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh damn!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from eight to 6 feet Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say," Interesting...more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down you "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. Play a well known drum beat over and over again on your butt cheeks.
21. Sit on the toilet. then inform everyone in the room that you are going to the toilet now in a really happy voice.
22. Wet loads of bits of toilet paper and chuck them over the stalls, as they open the door run out of the toilets.
23. Sing the barney theme tune very very loudly.
24. If your in a very long queue hold on to the person infront and shout 'MACARENA!!'
25. If you're in a queue drop a pen or your bag and look at it as if you're waiting for the person infront to pick it up.. when they reach down shout 'ITS MINE!!!'
26. Ask someone the cure for constipation.
27. Sigh and let everyone in the room know that you have been unable to 'unload this waste' for over a week now.
28. Walk into the member of the opposite sex's toilets and insist that all men/women go to their appropriate toilet.
29. walk in. look at someone. look at the 'men/women' sign then say 'What gender are you?'
30. if there's a long queue insist no-one goes into one of the toilet because your imaginary friend is in there.
31. Sit on the toilet and sing 100 green bottles.
32. Open the cubicle door. smile at the person about to go in and put the seat of the toilet up.
33. Run out holding you're nose shouting 'EVACUATE THE PREMISES!'
34. Try and stamp on the person in the cubicle next to you's feet.Date Excuses
Hopefully you've never had these used on you, but this is a list of excuses to use if that "special" someone asks you out and you don't know how to say no. If someone gives you one of these excuses, it is very likely that they have absolutely no interest in going out with you.1.
I have to floss my cat.
2. I've dedicated my life to linguini.
3. I want to spend more time with my blender.
4. The President said he might drop in.
5. The man on television told me to say tuned.
6. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
7. I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8. It's my parakeet's bowling night.
9. It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10. I'm building a pig from a kit.
11. I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
12. I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
13. There's a disturbance in the Force.
14. I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
15. I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
16. I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
18. I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
20. My crayons all melted together.
21. I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
22. I'm in training to be a household pest.
23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
24. My patent is pending.
25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
26. I'm sandblasting my oven.
27. I'm worried about my vertical hold.
28. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
29. I'm being deported.
30. The grunion are running.
31. I'll be looking for a parking space.
32. My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
33. The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
34. I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
35. I have to fluff my shower cap.
36. I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
37. I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
38. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
39. My plot to take over the world is thickening.
40. I have to fulfill my potential.
41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
42. It's too close to the turn of the century.
43. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
44. My subconscious says no.
45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
46. I left my body in my other clothes.
47. The last time I went out, I never came back.
48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
49. I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
50. None of my socks match.
51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
52. I'm having all my plants neutered.
53. People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
54. I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
55. I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
56. I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
57. My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
58. I'm touring China with a wok band.
59. My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
60. I never go out on days that end in "Y."
61. My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
62. I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
63. I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
64. I'm too old/young for that stuff.
65. I have to ash/condition/perm/curl/tease my hair.
66. I have too much guilt.
67. There are important world issues that need worrying about.
68. I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
71. I feel a song coming on.
72. I'm trying to be less popular.
73. My bathroom tiles need grouting.
74. I have to bleach my hare.
75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
76. I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
77. You know how we psychos are.
78. My favorite commercial is on TV.
79. I have to study for a blood test.
80. I'm going to be old someday.
81. I've been traded to Cincinnati.
82. I'm observing National Apathy Week.
83. I have to rotate my crops.
84. My uncle escaped again.
85. I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
88. I have to go to court for kitty littering.
89. I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
91. Having fun gives me prickly heat.
92. I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
93. I have to jog my memory.
94. My palm reader advised against it.
95. My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
96. I have to stay home and see if I snore.
97. I prefer to remain an enigma.
98. I think you want the OTHER [your name].
99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
100. I'm trying to cut down.
101. My asthma is acting up again
102. That would interfere with my time to wait for the government to take me away.
103. You're ugly, I'm busy, have a nice day
104. Its my goldfish's birthday
105. Uh, I have stuff to do.
106. I have to make an air sandwich
107. I have to hide the bodies.
108. I don't have time to go on a date...with YOU!
109. I have to wash my hair.
110. I have to clean my toilet
111. I need to spend quality time with my weed wacker
112. I need to clean the air in my room
113. My hamster is having a heart transplant and I need to stay for moral support.
114. I caught a rare deadly African disease that's highly contagious.
115. My gerbil is getting married.
116. I have plans to clean the cracks in my floor
117. Sorry, when you came to my door I mistook you for a mormon and took cover.
118. I had to rob your house
119. That's the night I reorganize my rock collection.
120. Pinnochio is on tonight
121. I have to try out for the ice skating team at school.
122. I don't date outside my species
123. Sorry I think I'm gay
124. I have to go...over...there.
125. My butt is to big in this dress
126. I have to take out the trash
127. My dog had baby kittens.
128. I can't, I need to take my computer apart and put it back together.
129. I have to go shopping for my mother.
130. I'm sorry, I have to rotate the strings on all of my shoes.
132. I told my car I would tenderly rub wax into it's body
133. I have to go for my full body wax appointment
134. I can't I was asked to go to another party w/o you
135. I don't date goats!
136. Ally Mcbeal is on
137. I'm reading with my widower
138. I have to brush my teeth.
139. Alf comes on soon
140. I'm sick.
141. I've had a better offer, some bloke is coming round to set fire to my head
142. I'm busy cleaning the blood off my axe
143. My dad said I can't date till I am married
144. I'm shaving my dog.
145. It's against my religion to date people named (insert relevant name)
146. My grandma is on fire.
147. I'm getting married tonight.
148. I'm engaged.
149. I don't want to ruin our friendship.
150. I have family in town.
151. I just washed my hair.
152. It's that time of the month again.
153. My father's grandmother's aunt's mother died.
154. I have to take down the Christmas lights.
155. I have to go to a surprise party for my grandma's birthday.
156. I left my tolerance in another coat.
157. I just got back together with my ex
158. I don't like people.
159. I have to alphabetize my CDs. (Hey, is that supposed to be insulting to me? -- dan)
160. I might see someone who knows me.
161. My brother's sister's mum's son's dad died.
162. I would, but it would be a complete waste of make-up.
163. My pet snake is constipated again.
164. I have a phobia of people named (insert name here).
165. I have to teach my pig to sing.
166. I just got sick (right after you asked me out).
167. My dog is too tired.
168. I never said I'd go out with you, that was my evil twin.
169. I would go out with you but my waiting list is full.
170. There's a four hour TV special on trimming shrubbery.
171. I'm washing the sofa.
172. I have to milk my cow.
174. I don't want to miss Martha Stewart's premiere.
175. I have to teach my frog how to croak.
176. I'm too busy watching the paint dry.
177. The "Rocky" marathon is on that night.
178. I promised my mum I'd bathe the hamster.
179. I tripped over an ant and broke my leg.
180. I need to clip my nose hairs.
181. I have to read the labels on all of my food.
182. You are extremely unattractive. Sorry, someone had to tell you.
183. I'm gay.
184. I don't like you.
185. My goat broke a horn.
186. I have to go to the dentist.
187. I have to brush my dog's teeth.
188. I must go in search of my charms which were stolen by an angry leprechaun.
189. I'm going to the moon.
190. My water wings are flat.
191. I have to stay home and give my goldfish a bath.
192. I'm going to be playing with my mental blocks.
193. I have to wax the driveway.
194. I'm not into dating right now.
195. I'm teaching my goldfish how to play the electric guitar.
196. I'm teaching my dog to meow.
197. I have to watch Oprah.
198. I like you, but my friends said I can't go out with you.
199. I like your best friend.
200. I'm complicated to go out with.
201. I just found out we're related.
202. On my list of things to do, seeing you is at the bottom.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it.