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Joined 03-24-09, id: 1877680, Profile Updated: 06-22-11

If you want to add me on AIM, it's NaruEqualsUke.

Funny Quotes:

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!

"Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?

Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.

I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well I think guns help because if you just stood around saying "BANG" it wouldn't do much.

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

Six hours later, I still hadn't managed to write a full sentence for the paper due the next morning. However, I did win 7 out of 245 games of Solitaire.

Commit the oldest sins, the newest kind of ways. ~William Shakespeare

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. ~Dean Martin

The nicest thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive. ~Kenneth Williams

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~George Carlin

Don't be so humble. You're not that great. ~Golda Meir

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Don't drink and park; accidents cause people.

I'll be sober tomorrow, but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that do.

(bumper sticker) This delinquent is having sex with your honor student.

Every time I say the word 'diet', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Funny Parts of Fanfics I've Read:

"Where the hell am I?"asked the bonde as he woke up in pure darkness

"Yeah about that..."said a voice in the darkness

"What...whos there?"asked the blonde

"I'M INNER SAKURA...WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM YOU TWIT!!"yelled Kyuubi from his cage Tales of A Hero, renegade156

Apparently the news about Naruto being blind and Sasuke being the selfless donor spread like wildfire all throughout the school. Even the teachers had their own version of the freshest gossip. And it was thanks to the gossip queens. There’s a saying “There are three ways to spread news quickly. Telephone, telegraph, and tell-a-girl.” Oh yes. It spread quickly alright. My Eyes, thecrazydragon

“Here’s the water,” Iruka said shakily as he handed Sasuke a glass of water, “but I don’t think it is advisable that you let him drink while he’s unconscious...”

“Who said I was gonna let him drink it?”

With that, the raven splashed the water on Naruto’s face while he bellowed, “WAKE UP, IDIOT!” In an instant, the blonde spluttered as he regained his senses. He took a deep breath first before shooting a death glare at Sasuke, “Don’t think I didn’t hear that, bastard!” My Eyes, thecrazydragon

They'd seen a normal Gaara, and he was creepy. They'd seen an annoyed Gaara, and he was scary. They'd even seen an angry Gaara, and he was piss-your-pants-terrifying. But they'd never seen an enraged, possessive Gaara, and the majority, if not all of the students were quite ready to evacuate and run for their lives. Innocent Sins, Sekra

Storming into his homeroom, Naruto threw his books at his desk and sat down.

Gaara stared at him.

Naruto stared back. "What?!"

Gaara continued to stare, it was a... Gaara thing. "What crawled up your ass?"

"The entire school population."

From behind him, Shikamaru piped up, "I don't think they'd all fit..."

Naruto turned around in his seat to glare at the other boy, "What, do I have some arms and legs or something sticking out of my ass?"

"No, but you do have a 'kick me' sign on your back."

His blonde head fell down with a bang into the desk, "Get it off."

"Can I kick you first?"


Innocent Sins, Sekra

Gai began to walk towards Shikamaru, who realised the green-clothed teacher was coming near him, so he ran to the other side of the room, where he was immediately pounced on by some of the girls. He had been there about 10 seconds, and already the girls had taken their declarations of Shikamaru’s new found feminity slightly too seriously, and were now ‘gossiping’ and ‘doing his hair’. Shikamaru seemed to have blanked out, and was staring into space, but there was pain behind his blank eyes.

The rest of the boys looked on in horror.

“Shikamaru…” Chouji started to walk forward, despair in his eyes, wanting to help his poor friend. He was stopped by Naruto hand, “No, Chouji. He’s gone. He wouldn’t have wanted you to go too.” Extracurricular Activities, Quack says the T-shape

Kiba elbowed Sasuke in the arm, “Yeah, be careful, if he has too much sugar, he’ll be like the energizer bunny, he’ll just go on and on and on, trust me he can do any activity endlessly forhours until the sugar rush wears off.”

“So, what’s wrong with that?” Naruto complained at Kiba, “Naruto you ate thirty pixie sticks and ran out of my house in your boxers screaming ‘Fuck society, freedom baby!’ we had to use the car to chase you down!” Sakura said remembering that night, since Naruto’s parents were overseas, her mom scolded her and Naruto the next morning since Naruto passed out from exhaustion, running for six hours straight. Craven's Cave, Bookoholic

Of course, Suke-chan couldn’t answer in his sleep-walking (more like sleep-acting) state. Also, sleep having stolen his self control and his being returned to an instinctive state, there was nothing getting in the way of a very horny Uchiha and a pheromone-blasting Uzumaki. So, the rest of Naruto’s complaints were equally futile:

“Er, your hands don’t belong there… ow! Hey! Pull on your own!”

“Ohmigod! Give me those back! Give my boxers back RIGHT NOW!”


“AAAaaaaaagh! The wrong part of you is waking up! SASUKE, FOR GOD’S SAKE, OPEN YOUR EYES!!”

“Don’t stick your finger there! Why are you sticking your finger there?!”



“MEGUMI HEEEEEEEEEELP!!” (Megumi, though she and her friends had cups to Naruto’s door, couldn’t get in of course – because Naruto had bolted them out… which was such a pity because Hikari had her digital camera on film mode.)


“Do your teammates ever tell you you have the crappiest sleeping habits! Even Neji, whose is also horrendous, has only ever kissed me in his – holy cow! PUT THAT BACK! THAT IS HUGE!!”


“Ow, I tell you it hurts – it hurts, baka!! It – whoa, what the hell was that?!”


“AAAAaaaaaAAAAHHH!! UUuuuUUUnngh! Slow! Down! AAAAAAAAaaa!!”

“Sasuke, Sasuke – ohmigod, Sasuke! Wake – SasukeSasukeSasuke – up!!”

“Aaaaaaaaannngh… okay, okay – see, you’re okay now, right? Okay? We don’t – freaking A – how does your thing do that? Dude, are you on via – GAAAAAAAHH!!”

…and, much to the maids’ delight, the torture continued throughout the night. Ultimate Uke Syndrome

It was then, Sasuke being the genius he was, had an idea. ‘You know, that Auron’s kind of sexy.’ Naruto’s eyebrow twitched. ‘You know, I kind of like that gruff, emotionally retarded quality. He’s very handsome.’ Sasuke continued. ‘Or hey, that Tidus is really sexy. I’d fuck him.’

‘That’s it!’ Naruto huffed before closing the playstation. ‘Bedroom. Now. I’ll show you emotionally retarded.’

Sasuke paused.

‘Shut up. I meant to say I would show you sexy and fuckable.’ Naruto's FINAL Fantasy, Twisted Badger

“Rejected again, Haruno-san?”

Sakura lifted her head enough to send him a murderous glare before her face fell back into a mask of depression.

“He’s gay!” she wailed, crumpling her face in a mixture of repulsion and disbelief.

“You mean Uchiha? Of course he’s gay. I can’t believe you just figured it out,” Kimmimaru taunted, ignoring the venom being shot at him through the girl’s eyes as he industriously picked at his fingernails.

“Don’t talk about Sasuke-kun that way, as if you even know him! Besides, it’s obvious that little twerp seduced him. Or is blackmailing him, or something. That’s the only way he would ever settle for someone so…someone so…”

“Gorgeous?” Kimmimaru offered, smiling wickedly. This girl was just too easy.

“Pathetic,” she growled out between her teeth.

“Just face it pinkie, Uchiha likes sausage, not taco. Get over it.” A Swiftly Tilting Universe, gadgetbreaker

“Damn it, Sai! Warn me the next time you’re going to sneak up on me!” He breathed, a hand clamped over his pounding heart.

“That would take the point out of ‘sneaking’ then, wouldn’t it?” Sai smiled, his electric blue dyed hair falling into his eyes. He had a strange shade of green lipstick smeared on his bottom lip, purple on the top and his eyebrows were bleached into perfect pink lines, a tiny bit lighter than Sakura’s. Somehow the look was very…Sai.

“Just how many dress code rules are you currently in violation of?” Naruto chuckled, spinning around in his seat to face his friend.

Sai waved a hand nonchalantly, “The student handbook is really more like a set of suggestions than actual rules. I habitually ignore the majority of those suggestions.”

“You wear the uniform.”

“I actually like the uniform,” Sai plucked dramatically at the front of his blazer, “nothing supports the resilience of the imagination like monochromatic individuality.”

Naruto smiled, “You’re driveling.”

“Am not.”

“Yes you are. That last comment fell about fifty yards from coherency.” A Swiftly Tilting Universe, gadgetbreaker

“Sasuke-teme, stop it and let me up!” Naruto insisted. “I was supposed to meet Choji at Ichiraku’s!”

Sasuke continued to stare at him as if he had suddenly turned into Itachi and screamed, “I LOVE YOU SASUKE! LET ME BE YOUR UKE!” The Sadist, Klei

Sasuke brought his attention back to the form which was now on the part where the username and password were entered. Sasuke thought for a moment, then typed in his desired username: a very creative uchihaSasuke.

He was about to enter his password when he noticed Naruto staring at the monitor and at the keyboard. “Dobe, I’m typing my password, it’s courtesy to look away.”

“Why? It’s only me.” Naruto replied innocently.

“Fine.” Just to tease Naruto, Sasuke typed in ‘P-E-N-I-S’.

That’s right. Sasuke was feeling very manly at that moment. Plus, he wanted to remind the loud blonde beside him of what they just did a few hours before.

After confirming Sasuke’s password, he clicked on the ‘Submit Registration’ button.

A few seconds later, Naruto fell off his chair and thought that he was going die for laughing so hard.

Apparently, an error message appeared: “Password not long enough.

An angry vein appeared on Sasuke’s forehead. Tonight, he swore to drill into Naruto’s head that Sasuke’s ‘password’ was surely long enough. Sasuke's Password, R.Liam

To Naruto's utter pleasure and sadistic entertainment, the fact that he allowed Sasuke free roam of his entire apartment scared the living crap out of any of his visitors. One minute, they'd be speaking about their day, the next they'd be screaming at the top of their lungs from their perch on the couch as the fourteen-foot mamba—Did he mention that Sasuke had grown?—made his way into Naruto's lap to climb about the hysterically laughing man. Animal Kingdom, (I'll look up author's name later)

Neither of the girls batted an eye at Sousuke's name, but Karin raised an eyebrow at the 'boyfriend' part.

"I always knew you were a uke."

"Shut up." Ichigo grumbled. "I could be the seme!"

Even Yuzu laughed at that statement, making Ichigo turn red and glare.

"I believe you can be a seme, Ichigo!" Isshin screamed and latched onto Ichigo's leg.

"Shut up, goat face!" Ichigo stomped on Isshin's head until he finally let go.

"Maybe we should take this inside." Karin suggested and Yuzu nodded in agreement.

"Dinner is almost ready!"

Sousuke smiled at the girl and allowed himself to be led inside. Ichigo shut the door and locked it, leaving Isshin outside. The rest of the evening was rather peaceful except for the banging on the windows and doors by Isshin begging to be let back it.

Cherry Lips, BonneNuit (VERY good authoress! I highly suggest her stories!)

Two bodies entered the elevator. The blonde leaning against the mirrored wall of the lift while the dark-haired male, stood in the middle of space.

The lift dinged at the third floor, opening the door to give everyone an eyeful of man with flaming red hair.

The male entered the lift, walking over to the corner of the area, opposite from Naruto, the blonde and just a bit behind from Sasuke who was occupying the space in the center.

"Hey gorgeous," the red-head flirted, speaking Japanese, thinking that the male in the center of lift was a foreigner.

"You, talking to me?" Naruto asked in Japanese.

"You think I would be flirting with this asshole in front of me," Gaara, the red-haired man, asked, still unaware that Sasuke could understand him.

"Sorry, but I am married," Naruto replied, gesturing to his ring.

"So what? It's not like anyone is going to know," Gaara said, smirking, thinking that he had got his fish in his net.

"I am married. To him," Naruto retorted back, pointing to the man in the center with his thumb, "This man, who understands everything you said very well,"

Sasuke turned his neck to face the green-eyed, red-haired, shivering male with his eyes burning with rage. Dinner at eight?, HelliousAngel

There was silence for a while, until Naruto said suddenly, "Plus there's benefits."


"Jiraiya said ninja can do ceiling sex." Naruto's voice was thoughtful. "He might have been lying, though." Find You, Rosa Lui

Shikamaru simply snorted, "of course not. This is just water. Like I'd carry such troublesome stuff in my bag when I know there are morons among us."

"Hey! I'm no moron!" Kiba stood up, pointing his finger at the genius. Sasuke snorted.

"And yet, you were the only one dumb enough to feel accused." Uchiha's Eleven, Venerate

"This is my question," Itachi started "If Sasuke was inside a building in flames in the verge of collapsing, would you go inside and save him?"

Naruto tilted his head to a side "What is Sasuke doing inside a building in flames in the verge of collapsing?"

Itachi seemed surprised for a second, but quickly hid it "Doing something heroic."

"Like what?"

"Saving a kitten."

"Sasuke's allergic to kittens."

"Okay. He's saving a puppy, then."

"But S'uke hates puppies! Pandas, on the other hand… He loves those!"(1)

Itachi massaged his temples "He's saving a panda."

Naruto scratched the back of his head "What's a panda doing inside a building in flames in the verge of collapsing?"

The brunette's left eye started twitching violently "Eating bamboo."

"Bamboo? Inside a building in flames in the verge of collapsing?" The blonde snorted "That kind of illogical, ain't it?"

Itachi blinked. Naruto blinked back.

"Then he's just being the foolish little brother he is," The Uchiha prodigy finally answered, restraining himself from pouncing the blonde and killing him "Would you save him or not?"

"You're kinda underestimating him, ne, Itachi-san?" Naruto commented with a sheepish grin "Because I think S'uke's smarter than going into buildings in flames in the verge of collapsing…"

"Just answer the fucking question!" Itachi exploded furiously. Overprotective, Not Really Yours

You are a Don't Fuck With Me Seme!

Serious and to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take your intense reactions, which possibly involves rope and sensual torture. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're the only one able to put them in line and satisfy each other.

:D. I'm a Sasuke!!

SasuNaru or SasuSaku?

Sasuke is always thinking of Naruto- Sakura always bugs Sasuke

Sasuke always wants to prove himself to Naruto, and vice versa - Sakura is always ignored by Sasuke

Sasuke talks to Naruto the most, out of everyone- He rarely speaks to Sakura

Sasuke and Naruto have saved each other's lives on several occasions - Sasuke saved Sakura- ONCE

When Sasuke was leaving Konoha, Naruto tried to stop him (and very, very almost succeeded)- He listened to Sakura for about three minutes, called her annoying, said thank you for some unfathomable reason (considering all she did was bitch, whine 'Sasuke-kun!', and get in the way of everything), knocked her out... and carried on.

Sasuke and Naruto were friends when they were younger (possibly MORE than friends...They HELD HANDS x3) - Sakura never even spoke to Sasuke

Naruto draws out strong emotions in Sasuke: love, guilt, he just touches him inside - The only emotions Sakura draws out from him is annoyance and a strong urge to kill.

Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is the most developed in the whole show. The whole show FOCUSES on their relationship- Sakura and Sasuke are just.. stuck together. There's no positive relationship. Sakura doesn't even like him in Part II

Lastly, there's an interview somewhere on the web, in which Kishimoto states that Naruto and Sakura are rivals. (For Sasuke's love) Seeing as Sasuke likes Naruto, and HATES Sakura.. I'm pretty sure it's obvious who will win Sasuke's heart.

It's kind of long and pointless, but copy & paste this onto your profile if you agree.


Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed (you know you did XD)...
Or are planning to do any of these things

~24 things to do in an elevator!~

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.x
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.x
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.x
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.x
18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'xx
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

Repost is you laughed, and put x next to every one that you thought 'I will totally do that!' For me, its me and my sister doing the stuff XD.

Copy and Paste this on your profile:

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?


ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh... I was gettin' laid!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?


ATTORNEY: How many were boys?


ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh...are you qualified to ask that question?

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?


ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?


ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?


ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?


ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

Siren Of The Sand is my bestest buddy here, and my imouto. I am her nee-chan. :3.

Naruto: OH WOW I SO LOVE HER!! She’s so cute and she’s funny. She always makes me laugh. Most of the time she doesn’t know what’s she saying and ends up saying weird things. I know Sasuke likes her but I loved the look on his face when he saw her kiss me. Yes she kissed me. Out of no where she came up to me and kissed me just like that. Then after she broke the kiss we went for ramen. Did I mention I love her?

Sasuke: She reminds me of Naruto in terms of her being hyper all the time. But that doesn't bother me. I love her love of life and her strength. She isn’t the smartest but she’s got heart and her strength surprises even me.

Sakura: She and I are pretty close. She’s a good friend. I know Sasuke likes her but she and Naruto have a thing I should know I see them kissing all the time.

Kakashi: She has strength that she doesn’t even know. She’s a lot like Naruto. I find myself wishing she has an older sister. (Narrator: She does) What no way. Drops book Runs to find your older sister

Kiba: She loves dogs and she loves to play with Akamaru. She is always petting him playing with him. She is crazy and tries to out run him. But no way. Man Naruto is lucky to have her as a girlfriend. I wish I was that lucky. I hear she has an older sister but I wish she had a twin. Sighs

Shino: I found her playing with a lady bug and I love that. She was just watching the lady bug crawl on her hand and her arm. She was smiling and was calm. I guess she’s not always hyper. When she heard me coming she sat up fast and smiled at me. She calls me ‘bug man’ and I don’t mind. She was getting up and gave me a hug and a kiss on the check and told me, ’have a good day, bug man’ and walked off to meet Naruto. He’s so lucky. I’m in love with his girlfriend.

Hinata: I’m mixed about her. She’s really nice to me and a really good person and helps everyone but she took my Naruto. Blush he’s so cute. frowns

Shikamaru: She has way too much energy. She’s always running around like a chicken with out a head. I would think that her and Naruto’s energy would turn into a huge boom and blow up the village. No two people should have that much energy. She is really pretty and her blue eyes are dreamy but she’s with Naruto.

Choji: She’s so pretty and she loves to eat chips with me. And I love the fact that she never ate the last chip. She saves it for me. She’s so nice and thoughtful. I find her the most pretty girl in the whole village lucky Naruto.

Ino: I don’t like her. She just has too much energy. She is always nice to everyone even me but I still don’t like her.

Lee: She always smiles at me when she sees me. She is always nice to everyone and she never makes fun of my eye brows. As much as she’s nice I only like her as a friend.

Neji: Her destiny is very bright. She’s always nice and I like that. I don’t like the fact that she beat me in a fight. She has it all going on.

Gaara: She’s really nice but she has too much energy. Maybe even more then Naruto. I know she makes Naruto happy but I try to stay away from her.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Atlas by Angel Baby1 reviews
Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning. Eventual K/S
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 146,442 - Reviews: 3615 - Favs: 4,665 - Follows: 1,657 - Updated: 1/18/2013 - Published: 8/31/2009 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
RUMBLE! by TreeStar reviews
ZoLu. Luffy ate a plate of RumbleBalls. Now he's shrunk to 4 inches tall, and other severe side effects have put his health in jeopardy. He's got Zoro & nakama to help him, but even one R-Ball will last a while in someone that small. Winner: Best Fic '08.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 206,597 - Reviews: 1237 - Favs: 1,094 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 3/8/2006 - Luffy, Zoro - Complete
Coral Reef by TreeStar reviews
ZoLu hard YAOI. Luffy is being careless about falling overboard, much to Zoro's worry. But when Merry gets caught in a reef of corals, Luffy doesn't realize that deadly creatures hunt in reefs at night. Zoro's about to get the scare of his life.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,445 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 4/24/2006 - Luffy, Zoro - Complete
With The River As My Guide by Green Sail reviews
On shore leave, Kirk and Spock disappear during a backpacking trip. A month later, Commander Spock is found unconscious and alone in the desert. All of Starfleet's hopes for finding Kirk lie with Spock - who's suffering from amnesia. k/s slash
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,529 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 8/26/2011 - Spock, J. Kirk - Complete
Leonard McCoy Must Go by mattmetzger reviews
Jim agrees to move in with Bones. But Jim's cat, Spock, is not so impressed by this turn of events. K/M, but mostly Spock-centric.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,384 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 6/17/2011 - Published: 6/11/2011 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Love The One You're With by 1lostone reviews
Spock has a not altogether *logical* reaction to Kirk always getting hurt on away missions...
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 38,474 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 721 - Follows: 85 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Spock, J. Kirk - Complete
Ambivalence by Genki-angel-chan reviews
Naruto frowned, not liking the sudden possessive gleam in Sasuke's onyx colored eyes."So, the child is mine then". The blond shuddered, wary of the sudden change in Sasuke's mood.He moved away from the brunette, and backed into a corner. mpreg sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,250 - Reviews: 1007 - Favs: 1,543 - Follows: 1,686 - Updated: 2/7/2011 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Intake Monitors by R4v3n Kn1ght reviews
Kirk has an allergic reaction that causes Bones to make some drastic changes to the captain's dietary restrictions, and appoints someone to monitor what Kirk eats for a while. - Intended as friendship, but can be interpreted as pre-slash, too. -
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,275 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/28/2011 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Alone In A Crowd by d8rkmessngr reviews
They are never truly alone in a starship. It just feels like they are sometimes. Kirk/McCoy, Spock/Uhura implied , Sulu/Chekov pre-slash implied
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,540 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/13/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
A Word of Memory by To.The.Hilt reviews
Kirk is captured and has lost his memory. Spock and Bones go after him. Friendship Fic
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,260 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/10/2010 - Spock, J. Kirk - Complete
Chocolate, Spice, and Everything Nice by ArwendeImladris reviews
Kirk is secretly in love with his first officer. Spock is secretly intoxicated by chocolate. Add in an away mission, a day in the snow, and a hot brown beverage. Hint: it isn't coffee.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,934 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 47 - Published: 12/9/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
The Learning Curve by ArwendeImladris reviews
K/S Slash. Shore leave on Risa - and somehow Kirk managed to get himself into a relationship with his undeniably sexy and surprising sweet first officer. But for some inexplicable reason no one else saw Spock's sweetness...
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,962 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 11/19/2010 - Published: 11/16/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Love Like Ghosts by eldritchhorrors reviews
Bones said, "Ya know that story? The one where Pike meets Kirk and there's mentoring and bonding and they tiptoe through the tulips together into happily ever? Well, this ain't it. Idiot." Kirk/McCoy, but Kirk/Pike at the beginning. Complete!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 66,933 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 11/13/2010 - Published: 7/22/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
My Captain by KCS reviews
Five reasons why the crew of the Enterprise would follow James T. Kirk to Hell and back, and one reason why he would do the same. Sixshot, nonslash. Kirk-and-Spock-centric whumpage. What's not to love?
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 47,647 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 9/19/2010 - Published: 7/24/2010 - J. Kirk - Complete
4 Tattoo's Jim Kirk Had Removed and 1 He Didn't by Loversinadistantland reviews
Four tattoo's Jim Kirk had removed and one he didn't. Jim/Bones
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,947 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/18/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Missing Valentine by trulywicked reviews
Sasuke is waiting for a valentine from a certain person while thinking of past valentines. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,985 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 484 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 2/12/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
How Many Licks by ED of Oblivion reviews
Written for LJ's STXI Kink Meme. Spock gives Jim a tongue bath: take one. Kirk/Spock. PWP.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,642 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 24 - Published: 7/28/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
50 Things To Do With Your Boyfriend by Cyhyr reviews
50 drabbles based on a list I found online. fluffy, some references to bedroom activities and the like. Gary/Ash. Posted in groups of ten. Please see Profile for information regarding my stories.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,408 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Ash K./Satoshi, Gary O./Shigeru - Complete
Some Assembly Required by d8rkmessngr reviews
What Montgomery Scott saw was enough to tell him things aren't as they seem. Kirk/Bones Est. Slash
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,249 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 21 - Published: 7/23/2010 - M. Scott/Scotty, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Change of Heart by kitsuneshadow47 reviews
After Sasuke is rejected once again by his strict father, he finally decides to run away. No one cared about him or even gave a damn...but little did he know about the life-changing journey that lay ahead of him...what has fate left out for him? SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 63,821 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
We'll Walk In Ecstasy by ED of Oblivion reviews
An alien anomaly changes Jim in a way no one could have predicted. His relationship with Spock is ultimately put to the test. Vulcan!Kirk. Kirk/Spock. Plot reverse of "The Chase."
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26,184 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 577 - Follows: 63 - Published: 7/20/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Spin the Bottle by laydee-jiraya reviews
It's Nami's birthday and she's declared herself queen and made all the guys her slaves! What will happen when she wants to play spin the bottle?
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,256 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/26/2010 - Zoro, Luffy - Complete
Kissing Your Wounds by Solora Goldsun reviews
A fluffy-dark Brex drabble. Rex has been captured by Van Kleiss and is lying half-dead in a prison cell. Breach surrenders to the needs that she has been feeling about him. NO IT'S NOT A LEMON! Might expand it into a Twoshot.
Generator Rex - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,697 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/14/2010 - Published: 6/13/2010 - Breach, Rex S. - Complete
Gentleness by ED of Oblivion reviews
Initially Jim isn't sure how he feels about being handled like some kind of priceless, breakable treasure – it's so far from what he knows. But then Spock kisses him and sweet gods of mercy, he is home. Spock/Kirk. Snippet. PWP.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,091 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 35 - Published: 6/7/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
You Are My Perfect Secretary by OhHowFluffyYouAre reviews
Uchiha Sasuke is the perfect secretary. He is able to handle anything and any boss. That is until he meets Director Uzumaki Naruto. NaruHarem and eventually NaruSasu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 98,286 - Reviews: 838 - Favs: 770 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 5/31/2010 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
through a window slightly veiled by InnocentGuilt reviews
It isn't happiness but just an oh, I'm dead moment that washes over him like warm water that he is submerged into. Just how it is, no argument, no struggle. It's just the end. Kirk/McCoy, character death with a still happy ending.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,153 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/5/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Jutsu, Heat, and Sasuke's OH MY! by Siren of the Sand reviews
Naruto, in a attempt to prank Jiraiya while Sasu-kun is on a mission, messes up a Jutsu and goes into heat. The rest, as they say, is History. Not my best, and I'll fix that soon. B-day fic for Xadnama! Happy b-day nee-chan! M Yaoi SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,469 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
They Make Me Smile by Wyvren reviews
One Shots on the crew's thoughts and reactions to Zoro and Luffy's relationship as they join the Straw Hat family. ZoLu
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,950 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 689 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Zoro, Luffy - Complete
Strength of Men by 1lostone reviews
While a deadly disease incapacitates the Enterprise, an old enemy of Jim's forces him to remember his time on Tarsus IV. Spock finds Kirk's pain unacceptable. K/S RATED MATURE! Please note warnings in first chapter!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 68,255 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 4/7/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Vulcans Are Fangirls Too by Skellig8 reviews
James T. Kirk, captain, scientist, and misunderstood genius. Spock writes to the reclusive scientist only he doesn't know it's Jim. Kirk/Spock pairing. Co-written with jouissant.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,286 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 1,188 - Follows: 119 - Published: 4/6/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
A Missed Adventure by Lala to the power of 2 reviews
Nami would like to say that no one ever spoke of the incident again. This might be the case, if it wasn't for the part where Zoro's new nickname was 'First Wife.'
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 41 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Luffy, Zoro - Complete
The Four Suits by TanukiRaccoon reviews
Everyone went into it thinking that they held all the cards and could control the game. And then things changed again, and again, and again. Whose gamble is going to pay off big-time when all the cards are down? ItaNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 38,973 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 3/4/2010 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Itachi U., Naruto U. - Complete
Not That It's Any of Your Damn Business by InnocentGuilt reviews
Bones has fifty secrets and Jim is all too happy to keep them. Slash, mentions of several other characters, part of the Butterfly Series and goes hand in hand with Just Between You and Me. Hope you like it!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,370 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/5/2010 - L. McCoy/Bones, J. Kirk - Complete
Never Too Late by ED of Oblivion reviews
Written for LJ’s STXI Kink Meme. Also known as, “Five times Spock thought no one was looking, and one time he knew he was caught.” De-aged/kid!fic. Kirk/Spock friendship or pre-slash.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,654 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 1,255 - Follows: 115 - Published: 1/19/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
The Chase by ED of Oblivion reviews
Written for LJ’s STXI Kink Meme. When Pon Farr strikes, Kirk uses it to his advantage and leads Spock on a wild chase throughout the Enterprise. An unimpressed McCoy is caught in the middle of it all. Kirk/Spock.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,728 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 1,335 - Follows: 133 - Published: 1/18/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Mahou no Konoha by Siren of the Sand reviews
A five year old naruto is found by a group of magical females who want to raise him.Yaoi, rating may change. SasuNaru story idea was not mine, it was Kafaru's. I got permission to use it. Changed rating cause some assholes kept flaming me.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 16,103 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 6/29/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Bringing Home Strays by TanukiRaccoon reviews
Sasuke's mother always told him not to bring home strays. What happens when Sasuke does? And it's a human? SasuNaru, yaoi, smut, lemon, etc.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,221 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 768 - Follows: 101 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Ice Is Thin, Come On, Dive In by InnocentGuilt reviews
Rated for language and dark imaginery. Excerpt: Bones called the time of death and stepped away from the table... Slash, Bones/Jim. Part of the Butterfly Verse.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,013 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/5/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Just Between You and Me by InnocentGuilt reviews
There are many secrets to Jim Kirk. Bones keeps fifty of them all to himself. Slash, mentions of sex, lost of randomness. Part of the Butterfly Verse. Hope you like!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,966 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/3/2010 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Prince's Hope by New Light reviews
Sora is a prince. Riku is a god. Sora wants to escape his marriage to find his soul mate. Riku wants to explore his domain in the mortal world. What happens when these two meet? SoraXRiku, RoxasXAxel, CloudXSephirothXLeon, LexeausXZexion, and other pairs
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 63,271 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 12/26/2009 - Published: 12/16/2006 - Sora, Riku
Curiously Botanical by mrasaki reviews
Jim knew, from the moment Bones opened his mouth, that Bones was going to say that this was an incredibly, horribly bad idea, and insert the word 'goddammit' at least twice. Christmas fic. -Kirk/McCoy-
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,781 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/23/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
The Thing About Us by munchkinsRattacking reviews
Bones wasn't looking for a friend. But it was impossible to not like Jim. Academy era, brief Kirk/McCoy
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,302 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/14/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Merry Christmas, Bones by munchkinsRattacking reviews
Bones tends to be a bit of a Grinch around the holidays. Leave it to Jim to cheer him up. Kirk/McCoy slash
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,230 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/11/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Stochastic Sex by jAnon reviews
Kirk, on Spock: "Mathematicians do it in theory." Spock, in response to Kirk: "Mathematicians prove they did it." K/S, Sulu/Chekov trash talk/humor, pure maths style. If you understand this, huge props to you!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/12/2009 - Spock, J. Kirk - Complete
GreenEyed Jealousy by DancingWithPeacocks reviews
Cupid always did have jealousy issues. As Bones it was no different. Cupid!Bones/Kirk
Crossover - Xena: Warrior Princess & Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 537 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Cupid, J. Kirk - Complete
Words by Miss M Cricket reviews
If anyone could save him it would be Bones, the man he loved, the man he had never told he loved, the man who understood him better than anyone else in the world. Kirk/McCoy
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/9/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Watermelon Games by BonneNuit reviews
KenIchi Based on the filler at the beach with the watermelons. Yachiru plants a watermelon monster in the training grounds and Ichigo stumbles upon it. The watermelon forces him into a rather suggestive position. Kenpachi finds him and can't help himself.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,892 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 65 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Ichigo K., K. Zaraki - Complete
Standby by d8rkmessngr reviews
He was glad Bones was dating again. He was. Really. But what Jim thought was good for Bones turned out to be oh, so wrong for Jim. Kirk/McCoy first time.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,775 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 10/2/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Cherry Lips by BonneNuit reviews
AizenxIchigo yaoi AU Ichigo's friends make him cross dress for the sake of cheap booze. A Yakuza, Sousuke Aizen, sees Ichigo and thinks he is a woman. He asks him out on a date which Ichigo is forced to accept. No rape- consensual sex, cursing, violence.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,121 - Reviews: 637 - Favs: 1,270 - Follows: 329 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 7/29/2009 - S. Aizen, Ichigo K. - Complete
Last Cross by Seto's Darkness reviews
A serial killer is on the loose and Naruto is sent to guard one of the possible targets, Sasuke. As KIRA's victims increase, Naruto discovers the lies that surround this case and that Sasuke is not who he seems to be… • SasuNaru AU • snexchange fic
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,868 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 33 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Empty Chair by Miss M Cricket reviews
Everyone thinks Jim is dead, including Bones. But Spock wants to make sure... Kirk/McCoy
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,961 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/12/2009 - L. McCoy/Bones, J. Kirk - Complete
5 Times Bones Couldn't Save Jim & One Time He Did by shaolin103 reviews
Sometimes it matters that you're there. And at times, it doesn't. Kirk/McCoy. May be considered pre-slash, if you squint. Or if you like. Rated T for violence and language. NOT a deathfic. Just a bit angsty.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,143 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/7/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Even Me by InnocentGuilt reviews
Jim has had a troubling past, and it never let him go. Slash Jim/Bones, sexual abuse
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,040 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 32 - Published: 7/30/2009 - L. McCoy/Bones, J. Kirk - Complete
5 Times James Kirk Almost Died And One He Didn't by Angel Baby1 reviews
You can take the daredevil out of Iowa, but you can't ever take the driving-off-cliffs out of James T. Kirk, as the unfortunate crew of the Enterprise soon learns.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,777 - Reviews: 649 - Favs: 2,681 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 7/22/2009 - J. Kirk - Complete
5 Pranks That Were Funny And 1 That He Regretted by LoveWithoutLimits reviews
They should of known that pranking eachother was never going to end well. Slash, Kirk/Bones. Prompt from lj kink meme.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,901 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/26/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Castle in the Sky by fights reviews
Jocelyn would become the First Lady to the President, but seeing her ex-husband saddled up to the Prince of her dreams it's a bitter victory. Kirk/Bones SLASH Swearing, I don't remember... COMPLETE!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,588 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 21 - Published: 7/13/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones - Complete
Blank Canvas by TanukiRaccoon reviews
Sasuke is happily living with Naruto, his lover and dearest person. Naruto is not-happily living with his lover and dearest person. In fact, at this moment, he'd rather be not-living, not-happily with his lover and dearest person. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,087 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 999 - Follows: 109 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Inevitability by Jaylee1 reviews
Companion piece to 'Improbability', told from Spock's POV. "He would figure Jim Kirk out eventually -- it simply required more observation and the accumulation of data."
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,326 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 31 - Published: 7/2/2009 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Have His Cake by Xanthophobiac reviews
...and eat it too. Misaki's cake for Usagi-san gets him more than he really wanted. Cute, little Romatica story.
Junjō Romantica - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,481 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Misaki T., A. Usami - Complete
Sasuke's Magazine by TanukiRaccoon reviews
Sasuke hates his therapy class… but after finding a magazine things have gotten a little more interesting… yaoi, NaruSasu, lemon in second chapter.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,982 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 865 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 1/26/2009 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Crimson Charm by TanukiRaccoon reviews
A lonely vampire finds an stunning beauty he wishes to immortalize. However, the stunning beauty isn't that eager. Of course, this doesn't dissuade the vampire, not in the least. SasuNaru, AU, OOC, Vampfic
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,324 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 857 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 12/6/2008 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Only You by TanukiRaccoon reviews
Naruto gets invited to be a model for the Icha Icha chain. Sure that place has a perverted reputation, but it can't be that bad, right? ...too bad Naruto looks like such an adorable uke! PWP, yaoi, EXTREME OOCness - In the form of mega perv Sasuke!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,107 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 1,257 - Follows: 150 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Butterfly by lalafall reviews
SasuNaru While substituting as a marriage advisor for his brother’s boyfriend, Sasuke happens to find one of his newest customers fairly, attractive. Thus, he plans to cheat his way into his customer’s life.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,122 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 38 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Inside Outside Upside Down by LamKyion reviews
Sasuke needs an attitude adjustment. Gaara is overprotective. Haku has gender issues. Ino and Sai are two peas in a pod. Lee is full of youth. Kiba is done just being friends. Sakura is a tad skitzo. And Poor Naruto is stuck watching it unfold.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,545 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/14/2008 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
The Demilitarized Zone by michelerene reviews
Itachi Uchiha has always had a sadistic streak when it came to his little brother. Now the perfect opportunity has presented itself and he just can’t let it go by. He does love him after all. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 112,010 - Reviews: 2276 - Favs: 4,396 - Follows: 1,045 - Updated: 5/30/2008 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Dinner at eight? by HelliousAngel reviews
Four-shots. Complete. Summary: SasuNaru at random locations. Warning: Possessive!Sasuke.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,601 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Dark Valentine by daily-chan reviews
He hated Valentines Day for what he had lost that day. Warnings: Character deaths. SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 959 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Sight the King by reviews
After Yuugi wakes up at the scene of a crime with blood on his hands and a voice in his head, there's only one thing he can do: Run. --Yuugi x Yami Yuugi: Puzzleshipping-- --Complete--
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 21 - Words: 127,124 - Reviews: 276 - Favs: 515 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 10/16/2007 - Yūgi M., Yami Yūgi - Complete
For the Love of His Son by michelerene reviews
Lord Sasuke Uchiha believes that he has lost something precious to him and struggles to convince himself everyday that it didn‘t exsist. What will he do when a blond haired peasant arrives claiming he has something the Uchiha “misplaced.” SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 102,570 - Reviews: 1011 - Favs: 2,511 - Follows: 537 - Updated: 1/13/2008 - Published: 11/18/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
All I Want for Christmas by hersummerdreams reviews
A week at a resort sounded like fun, but this will be a Christmas Leon, Cloud, Sora, Roxas, Riku and Axel will never forget… set in Australia. DISCONTINUED.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,325 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/20/2007 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Leon/Squall L., Cloud S.
Kingdom Hearts: The Swan Prince by Toria-Phoenix reviews
As Prince Sora's impending wedding approaches to Princess Kairi, an evil sorcerer who wants to rule the kingdom abducts the Prince, and casts a powerful spell over him. With his time running out, there's only one who can save him. AU Slash. SoraRiku, AR
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 33,105 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 11/26/2007 - Published: 5/2/2006 - Sora, Riku - Complete
Pyromaniac by FastForward reviews
Sasuke is a firefighter intent on bringing down his arsonist of a brother, who only has one goal in life: kill Sasuke. Which of the two brothers will come out on top, and how many will die in the crossfire? SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 85,753 - Reviews: 1588 - Favs: 1,988 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 8/29/2006 - Published: 5/15/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
My Rules by Shirohikari reviews
To all those floundering helplessly out there, Sasuke has formed a list of guidelines of what not to fall for in someone. SasuNaru [OneShot]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,369 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 31 - Published: 7/8/2006 - Complete
Go To Sleep by kawaii-kirei reviews
Naruto gets locked out of his house, and just when he thought things couldn't get any worser, Sasuke stops by and sees his little predicament. [SasuNaru, oneshot]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 737 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 24 - Published: 6/29/2006 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Ocean Avenue by Yami Yuugi reviews
AU.YYxY. Yuugi starts his freshmen year of college while dealing with an ever clingy roommate named Yami. Can he get over his past with his ex and move on with his growing feelings for Yami?
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,870 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 5/22/2006 - Published: 1/6/2006 - Yami Yūgi, Yūgi M. - Complete
Where I'll Return by Meruhesae reviews
Yaoi, Riku x Sora. On his mission to seal the keyholes, Sora falls into despair and becomes ill. Convinced Sora is dying, Riku takes matters into his own hands and seeks the aid of an unlikely source to save Sora. However, this person has a request...
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,203 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 12/21/2005 - Published: 12/30/2003 - Riku, Sora