Poll: Are you prepared for the zombie apocolypse? Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Misc. Games, Invader Zim, Adventure Time with Finn and Jake, and Calvin & Hobbes.
Congratulations! You located my profile! You're probably here on accident or checking to see if I'm a troll. I assure you my fanfictions are all legit. Very bad, but legit. And please review. I'll gladly accept flames.
About me: I am a proud member of Operation Head Pigeons! I have a zombie survival plan, and I'm taking German in high school. I know a little Russian as well. Currently in 10th grade. As of July 2013, I still have no work ethic.
I WILL RULE THE WORLD!
I am planning on reviving my older stories and uploading a new one. But first, I plan on working some more on my zombie fic.
I have determined that I am great at making a skeletal structure for great stories. Making a complete body is my problem.
How The Zombie Plague Changed the Universe- Redo pending
Another Visitor in Ooo?- Not cancelled, just a bit of writer's block
Invader Zim- I have one in the works, just a couple chapters done-ish.
Digimon- Yep. I'm planning one. i have the beginning kinda sorted out, and some sort of ending done as well.
Fandoms that I can think of right now: Invader ZiM!, JTHM, Adventure Time, Danny Phantom, Godzilla, Artemis Fowl, Doctor Who, Calvin and Hobbes, Star Fox, Angry Beavers, Bravest Warriors, World War Z (The book, not the awful movie), Digimon,
O.C. section: Yep. I have one, if you read my fics, you would know. Well, you would know if I ever wrote a fanfic with this exact one. This is not the guy from my zombie one.
Name: Max Frederick
Occupation: Supreme Dictator of the Human Empire/ Inter-dimensional traveler
Description: Caucasian 6'5" short black hair, average looking face, brown eyes. Generally wears black BDUs on top of armor vest and an exoskeleton to support the weight. Has an Irken PAK with an AI.
Armament: Always has dual katana (Except in A New Visitor in Ooo), carries pistols and knives in pockets. Can teleport weapons, most often AK-47 and Barrett .50 sniper rifle. Also uses a mech suit which has a short distance flight capability, has cannons built in and small machine guns. Extendable blades in wrists. Suit is explosive resistant and has the capability of surviving in space. Enjoys the use of flamethrowers.
Abilities: Skilled in hand-to-hand combat, limited shape shifting,
Copy and Paste time! Very long. I'm sorry.
If you think that there is such a thing as the paranormal, copy this and paste it into your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile
If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile.
If you know it's only a matter of time before we're invaded by Irkens, paste this into your profile.
If you feel that half your day is spent being bored copy this onto your profile
If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that those kids in the Lucky Charms commercial just need to get their own damn cereal instead of chasing a little leprechaun all over the place for it then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you or your best friend(s) is insane,copy this to your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different,which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
If you think the government has covered up the existence of extraterrestrials, paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.
No one's perfect. If you know and like that you're not perfect, Copy this to your profile.
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you against racism, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
If you know someone who should be hit by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you hear voices in your head, copy this to your profile.
If you think being unique is cooler then being cool, copy this to your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this to your profile.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!...copy this to your profile...
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
If you are addicted to Fan-Fiction, copy this.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
If you could read that put it in your profile
If you actually bother to read these things, post this on your profile.
If you think that Q&A's are kickass no matter how far fetched the author makes them, post this on your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.
If you can't stop putting these things on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile!
If you think that Guitar Hero and playing real guitar are two different skills altogether, post this on your profile.
If you don't think that classes such as band, choir, drama, and such are for nerds and homosexuals, then post this on your profile.
Rock 'n' roll's still alive! It will never be replaced by hip-hop and rap no matter how much those guys try to convince us they're better! If you agree with this, copy and paste this into your profile for the sake of rock 'n' rollers like me!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you ever wondered who the HELL came up with the idea of bending in front of a cow and squeezing the flappy pink things under it to see if something comes out and DRINKING whatever crap comes out, copy and paste this to your profile!
If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO
If you think the people who don't do copy/pastes are just too damn lazy, copy and paste this to your profile!
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wished that you could be a video game character then copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile!
Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message and my symbol for equality to your profile...
If you're still reading this profile, you ROCK! Show the world I approve and put this on your profile.
! I've been captured by Dr. Duodenum's, and the only way to save me is to post this on your profile! HELP ME!! Or if you think this is utter insanity, post it anyway.
If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, copy this onto your profile
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile
If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (cough-toaster-cough!) copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have deja vu a lot, copy this into your profile
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever done anything stupid in your life copy and paste this into your profile
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). Crazy is playing games with yourself or inanimate objects and always lose. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you wish your whole class liked the same books as you copy and paste this into your profile
If you think that the ignorant little girl should just give her dad the damn waffles, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever had a dream involving a fictional character and another fictional character copy and paste this into your profile.
If you absolutely positively COMPLETELY HATE Hannah Montana, copy this into your profile.
If you sigh at the fact that because your profile is so long there is little chance someone would actually take the time and read it, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.
I'm not afraid to skydive just too lazy if your just too lazy to do much copy and paste this into your profile
If you think Nintendo is just as good as Microsoft and Sony, post this on your profile.
If you think Flamers should just Ride The Lightning (sit in the electric chair), post this on your profile.
If you think immaturity is sometimes very much needed, then post this on your profile.
I think that Mondays suck 'cause it's the beginning of the week. I think Sundays suck 'cause it's the end of the week. Every other day is okay. If you feel the same way, then post this on your profile.
If you think your hobbies are very strange, post this on your profile.
If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
95 of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5 that would shout 'Jump!'
If you hate High School Musical with a burning fiery passion and wish to kill everybody who stars in it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you zone out during the day imagining that same dream continuing on then copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Animals count)
5 Truths of Life.
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it
3. The first truth is a lie
4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... (Idiot!)
5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face
Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile.
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.
Life's Journey is not about heading to the grave safely and in a well-preserved body. It's about skidding in sideways, out of breath, shouting, "Holy crap, what a ride!" If you agree copy and paste the into your profile.
If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile
If you get bored easily post this on your profile.
If your family constantly accuses you of being obsessed with random stuff, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think Jhonen Vasquez should be president copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think Nickelodeon is blind, deaf, and stupid for canceling "Invader ZIM", copy and paste this to your profile.
If one part of you is calm and the other part like to stand on their head and sing theme songs,copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think rap is the most awful thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate that people tell you what's gonna happen in TV shows, books, etc, copy this to your profile.
If you've ever really wanted to give a certain cartoon character a hug, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you love "Invader ZIM" with all your heart and are sooooooo obsessed with it, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you read this, copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with the most random things, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have walked under something that is two feet over your head, but ducked anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like to quote things, copy this into your profile.
If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copy this into your profile.
If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile.
If you have read every single one of these up to here, award yourself 5 points and copy this somewhere into your profile.
If you don't like Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana/Destiny Hope Cyrus/Whatever She's Calling Herself Now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love GIR, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever went to get something, then got into the room and forgot why you were in there, copy this into your profile!
If you think Nickelodeon should bring "Invader ZIM" back, or Cartoon Network should at least pick it up, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think the weirdest, most random thoughts at the strangest times, copy and paste this to your profile.
If there are times where you DO annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into/onto/in your profile.
If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile.
If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you really should be doing something important right now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you can think of at least one person you would like to push down a well copy this into your profile.
If you've ever changed a 'copy this into your profile thingiesmagigee, copy this into your profile.
If you have retained an unshakable belief in aliens, despite severe peer pressure, copy and paste this onto your profile and know that you're not alone.(They are out there...)
if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with something childish for your age, copy this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile. (no duh.)
EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this on to your profile. (hehehehehe! ... )
If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.
People think that life is long. Others think that it’s short. If you believe that life is life and either way it’s gonna end so you should just go ahead and live it, copy and paste this to your profile.
"I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile.
If you're a human that thinks humans in general are stupid, copy this onto your profile.
If you are anti-social sometimes copy and paste this into your profile.
If you just hate flamers period, copy and paste this into your profile.
97 of 100 teens would stand there and look terribly sad if they saw their favorite character in tears on the ground and in need of comfort, If you are one of the 3 that would get down, hug them, wipe away their tears, and tell them that you love them and start to cry with them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like to read what people put in their profiles,And you like Copy & Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read my full profile, copy and paste this into your profile. XD
If you're a bad athlete and proud of it copy and paste this to your profile.
If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, put this on your profile!
If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you're pretty sure you have two or more of the same copy and paste things but your profile is just too long to check or you're lazy, copy and paste this into your profile!
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!
9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. (sadly, I do this.)
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?
god I hate it when people are so stupid.
If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
If you are the type of person who gets in trouble in class for reading while the teacher is talking copy and paste this and add your name. Queen of Atlantis, Bellas.My.Alter.Ego, Sir Spamalot, Give Up your Prejudices, kendraxinjectionxx, lotsadodles11, horselover597, Invisibool, KatakaCandy2429658, DinoGuy2000,
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Kathleen-chan, Life is a Highway66, moviemanic122893, Ham-Kelly- now Chibi Corn Chip, DolphinInsomniac 15, Cosplay Chan, Umbreon Mastah, Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Medalis, Invisibool, KatakaCandy2429658, DinoGuy2000,
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, -xIxHEARTxEDWARDx-, sakurabloom1124, Phish Tacko, fictionfreak93, InkAndPaperTwin, OnTheHour.EveryHour, DarkAngelSnapeLover, LilysLittleTwin, SlytherclawHP, KatakaCandy2429658, DinoGuy2000,
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common sense let out tears of pain when a teacher get's 6 months of jail for asking other teachers to lead a prayer, yet a drug dealer gets 3 days, a spouse beater get's 3 months, and assault gets you 1 month
Someone hit Common Sense with a bat when the first M rated cartoon came out.
Common Sense was knocked out when teaching about god became illegal, yet handing out condoms became the best option.
Common Sense hit his poor head when there became some places where even the police are afraid to go.
Common Sense was mocked by his attackers when 14 year old drug dealers, drinkers, and cussers got one detention, yet an innocent 6 year old who brought an eating utensil needs to go to a detention center for a month.
Common sense was beaten even further more, when some teenage girls get into a physically violent fight and people passed it off as "Normal Teenage behavior" yet a parent was put in jail for spanking their disobedient child because it was "Abuse"
Common sense's thrashing continued when a teacher was put in jail for naming a teddy bear "Jesus".
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 step brothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
21 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
7. Don't use any punctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
11. Sing along at the Opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why all the poems don’t rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON! I WON!”
16. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,"Run for your lives, they’re loose!!"
17. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
18. Go in front of your classroom and shout "I like pie!"
19. Greet all your friends with a tackle.
20. Go to a costume party as a cowboy and when someone asks you where you got your costume from you say, "this is a costume party?"
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
21. Copy and send this list to someone to make them smile...It's called therapy.
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
15 Things to do when you're in WALMART!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
A guy and a girl were speeding over 100km on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down!
Guy: No this is fun!
Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of brake failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his brakes were out and he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.
If you would do the same for someone you loved, copy and paste this into your profile.
I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling
If you have ever wanted to kill someone (albeit a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', any sound-nin from Naruto, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have crazy psychopathic dreams of world domination join me and copy this into your profile
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.(BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
When in doubt, push random buttons!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter
When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it
He who laughs last thinks slowest
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
I'm not cynical, everything just sucks
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good
The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!
"If life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it!"
Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?
Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Invader Zim Questionnaire: 20 Q's (Copy and paste into your profile if you're an IZ fan.)
1. If you could hang out anywhere, where would it be?
My answer: Zims' base making an evil plan.
2. Which IZ character would you date?
My answer: Uhh... none.
3. Which IZ character is your best friend?
My answer: Zim or Gir!
4. Which IZ character do you hate?
My answer: Well... I guess Dib.
5. Your favorite IZ episode?
My answer: The Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars, Zim Eats Waffles, Megadoomer, or The Nightmare Begins. There's just too many to pick!
6. Your favorite IZ character?
My answer: ZIM!
7. Favorite Almighty Tallest?
My answer: Red!
8. Zim walks up to you, what do you do?
My answer: Dude... YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!
9. You just got 2 tickets to see a concert, who do you take with you?
My answer: GIR!!
10. You accidentally go stranded on a deserted island...Who got stranded with you?
My answer: I dunno, GIR or Zim. One of them caused it...
11. Zim asked you to help him repopulate Irk... What is your answer to this disturbing question?
My answer: Umm...dude... I'm a dude... But Tak might help!
12. Favorite IZ pairing?
My answer: Zim and Tak. aka ZaTr
13. You and the Tallest on the Massive...??(I don't know where this question was going!)
My answer: WE SHALL EAT DOUGHNUTS!!
14. If you could spend your Friday nights doing something, what would it be?
My answer: Hanging out with Zim making an evil plan.
15. Favorite IZ quote?
My answer:"YOU SPEAK LIES!!! LLLIIIIIEEEEESSS!!!!!!-Zim
16. Favorite Zim moment?
My answer: The ending or beginning of Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars
17. Favorite Dib moment?
My answer:"NOOOOO! Whatever." then he falls asleep
18. Favorite Tallest moment?
My answer: "Hey! Someones' makin' doughnuts!"
19. Favorite GIR moment?
My answer: Gir:"I was the turkey all along!" Zim: "I was wondering what that turkey was doing there..."
20. Favorite random moment?
My answer: uhhh... too many to choose from.
Yay! More stuff! If you don't know what nyet means, it's Russian. Look it up.
I'm weak and have a low pain tolerance.
Aliens, the dark.
Your Perfect Pizza:
I dunno. Sausage, I guess.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
Thoughts First Waking Up:
I woke up again...
Your Best Physical Feature:
Uh... I have vitiligo. It's loss of skin pigment and also pigment in my hair, it seems. Is that a physical feature?
9 PM on school nights. 3-5 AM on summer vacation.
McDonald's or Burger King:
Chocolate or Vanilla:
Chocolate, but Vanilla is still awesome.
Do you Smoke:
Will you Smoke:
Do you Swear:
In my head.
Do you Sing:
Do you Shower Daily:
Do you behave yourself:
Do you get Motion Sickness:
Do you think you are Attractive:
Are you a Health Freak
Do you get along with your Parents:
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Do you play an Instrument:
Trombone. Kind of not good though...
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
What country would you most like to Visit:
Russia! FOR THE MOTHERLAND!
Number of CDs I own:
What do your feet smell like?
I dunno, bad I guess.
What does your hair smell like?
Can you clap with your feet?
Have you seen purple cows?
If you have had 10 Mountain Dews, what would you be like?
Hyper, or dead due to my heart exploding.
When you think of the words "George Bush", what comes to your mind?
W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
1. Be serious or be funny?
2. Drink whole or skim milk?:
3. Die in a fire or drown?
O_o Drown, because fire is painful.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.
1. Sun or moon?:
2. Winter or Fall?
Winter, Fall is kind of useless to me.
4. Ten acquaintances or five best friends?:
5 best friends. Although, I have like, two...
5. Sunny or rain:
Rain, it's nice and calming.
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
Chocolate or vanilla, depending on my mood.
A B O U T . Y O U.
1. What time is it?:
3:24:45 AM. In Indiana.
2. What is your name?
Why should I tell you? I don't even know you!
3. What do you want to do?
TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
4. Where do you wanna live?
In a place that has a snowy winter, not-too-hot a summer, and it rains a lot.
5. How many kids do you want?
I dunno, two I guess.
6. Do you want to get married?
7. Have you ever done drugs?
Technically, yes. Caffeine is a drug.
8. What do you like on your pizza?
9. Can you cross your eyes?
10. Do you make your bed daily?
R A N D O M.
1. Which shoe goes on first?
The right one, usually.
2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone?
3. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
4. Have you ever eaten Spam?
Nyet... maybe, I dunno.
5. Favorite ice cream?
6. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
7. Do you cook?
8. Current mood?
IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.
1. Kissed some one?
3. Been hugged:
4. Felt stupid:
I dunno, probably.
5. Missed someone:
6. Danced Crazy?
Nyet, I don't dance.
7. Gotten your hair cut?
9. Been kissed:
. S T U F F .
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
2. Do you have a Dog?
Yeah, a few beagals.
3. Do you have a cat?
4. The last time you've been sledding?
I dunno, a couple of years ago. I don't own a sled.
5. Do you consider yourself creative?
6. Do you have any friends on FF.net?
7. Do you know anybody in real life from FF.net
8. Where are you?
At my dad's house on the computer.
9. Look up, then look back, what do you see?
A really bad ceiling.
10. What are you listening to right now?
The AC and the TV.
11. Last thing you ate?
12. Last thing you thought?
Why am I doing this backwards?
13. You have a million dollars what do you do?
Buy ALL the things!
14. What are you eating/drinking right now?
"My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But it's now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Put this in your profile if you think that child abuse is wrong.
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