"Imagination is the key to a new world where there are no limits." --yours untruly
"You're absolutely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret: all the best people are." --Alice -Alice in Wonderland, 2010
Merry meet, everyone. I do hope you enjoy your stay here at my profile, may it be a happy stay indeed.
Those of you who know me personally (which is a very small number, so if I get a few messages saying "I know you," I'll be frightened), know that I will say a number of nonsensical things that make sense in a very nonsensical way. Those of you who are brave enough to read all of my Author's Notes (I don't know how you manage) have probably already noticed this. I have come to a simple explanation: I have a very advanced sense of unlogic. Now, you might ask, "'Unlogic' is not a word, so how can you have a sense of it?" Well my repsonse would naturally be, "The prefix 'un-' means not. Therefore, when something is not logic, it is unlogic. No, not anti-logic. Unlogic is neither the opposite nor the same of logic." So when I ask you if you would eat a chair for breakfast, I'm asking you an unlogical question, which to think of a satisfactory answer you would need to use your sense of unlogic. Unfortunately, most people do not have a sense of unlogic, or it is very under-developed. So I'm giving you a challenge right now. Use your sense of unlogic to explain what this question is asking: would you eat a chair for breakfast? No, I'm not actually asking if you would put a chair in your mouth, chew it and digest it. No offense, but I don't care too much about your answer to that (although it would certainly be curious if you were to say yes). There's only one answer, but it can be phrased a few different ways. Here is a list of further question to help with your answer and unlogic:
"'Would you eat a chair for breakfast?' Bugs asked.
'No, Bugs, I wouldn't," I replied.
'But what if you were really hungry and there was nothing else in the room?' he retorted.
'I'd go into another room,' I answered.
'You can't; you're locked inside the room and there's no way to get out.'
'Well, I guess I'd eat the chair then,' I replied.
'But it's dangerous. You could get a piece lodged in your throat and it would stab through and you'd bleed to death,' Bugs pointed out.
'I'd still eat the chair.'"
I dare you to think of that meaning. I bet you a (virtual) million dollars you won't.
Kay, so now that youre all creeped out, why not read a couple stories while youre here? C'mon, you know you want to.
Twilight Fanfic Tips:
After my obsessive Twilight fanfic reading (which may I add has not stopped), I have discovered that a lot of stories have good plots, but are annoying to read because of under-characterization, grammar mistakes, etc. These tips here are to help you learn how to make your stories easier for the reader to understand and read. The first five apply to all fanfics, but the later tips apply to only Twilight fanfics.
Tip #1: Back in elementary school, you learned that while someone was talking in quotation marks, they could be as improper in their grammar as they wanted. However this does apply when writing text language. Please don't put "cya" or "omg." Yes, we all know what it means, but it's just annoying. If someone is actually saying the letters o-m-g, that's understandable. Some people do that, but please don't be lazy. Author's Notes can be whatever you want--it's your writing.
Tip #2: Even more annoying is the tendency of some authors to use text language, while not using dialogue.
Tip #3: I am begging you: please learn to capitalize the first letter of the first word in a sentence. This includes dialogue.
Tip #4: When someone else starts to talk, their dialogue should be the start of a new paragraph. Do you see that nifty little button right above the right shift key and below the backwards slant? It's the enter button. It starts a new paragraph. Cool, huh? Well...I thought it was cool.
Tip #5: Reading over your freshly typed chapter takes a lot of time. Most authors (myself included) just type it up and upload it. However some of those authors use a wonderfully terrific (nice use of adjectives, huh?) device called spellcheck. Spellcheck not only checks spelling, but also grammar. It's found on a few programs--my favorite being Microsoft Word. Please, check for typos and grammar mistakes. Sometimes we think ahead, and while we're typing, we skip a couple words. This will not only confuse readers, but cause them to infer the missed words.
Tip #6:Time for Twilight tips... First off, Emmett is not actually a stupid character. If you are writing a realistic, in-character story, don't make Emmett an idiot. At least lower the intelligence of all the characters. Emmett isn't a four-year old.
Tip #7: Yes, Alice likes shopping. But she is not obsessed like most stories lead you to believe. Again, please don't give her the characterization of a four-year old.
Tip #8: Rosalie does not hate humans. She disliked Bella because Bella had the choice to remain human. Rosalie didn't have that choice, and she thinks Bella is just throwing it away.
Well that's about it for now. Merry part.
And one more thing: I will, occasionally, make up my own words. Usually it's easy to tell what they mean, but if you have any questions, just ask.