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Joined 03-29-09, id: 1882585, Profile Updated: 07-23-10
Author has written 3 stories for House, M.D..

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm STRAIGHT, so I MUST hate gays and either play football or be a cheerleader.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a drunk who wears green.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST want to make out with other girls for guys' enjoyment, be athletic, and have short hair.
I'm GAY, so I MUST know about fashion.
I'm BI, so I MUST be a whore who'll date anybody.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid and stuck up.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the dev
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch
I read comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be encourage abortion
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

Bold ones apply to me - but all of them are really annoying and true. I HATE stereotypes!

(Just so you know, I'm Hispanic/English/Australian. Blonde hair (dyed black), brown eyes, and pale skin. So no, I didn't make a mistake and bold the wrong ones, I really am all those things.)

(And I don't drink/smoke/get stoned all the time, only, like, once a week.)


My name's Samuel. Most people call me Sam. My best friend calls me Sammy.

I look like a girl because I have really long (shoulder-length) hair. But I'm actually a guy.

I LOVE vintage clothing. Right now I'm wearing acid-wash jeans and a Led Zeppelin concert t-shirt.

I also love slash. Boy-on-boy, especially. I write it often.

My pet couples, which are frequently non-canon:

That 70's Show: Fez/Kelso, Hyde/Donna

Total Drama Island: Duncan/Bridgette

Twilight: Seth/Renesmee, Alice/Bella, Alice/Edward, Jacob/Leah, Kate/Garrett

House: House/Chase, House/Cameron

Harry Potter: Sirius/Remus

Gorillaz: 2D/Murdoc, 2D/Paula, Murdoc/Paula, 2D/Murdoc/Paula (threesome, hellz yeah!)

I'm currently working on a very ornate, novel-esque story called 'Equinox'. It's a Seth/Renesmee written in five-year-old (making her physically about 15) Renesmee's point of view.

My favorite characters:

That 70's Show: Hyde

Total Drama Island: Duncan

Twilight: Seth

House: Chase

Harry Potter: Remus (young, not old)

Gorillaz: 2D. And I actually quite like Paula, too, even if she is a crazy-ass bitch.

Characters I'd Like to Rip to Shreds:

That 70's Show: Randy, from season eight. There is no equivalent to Eric, and this guy never even came close.

Total Drama Island: Courtney! Roar!! God, I wanted to rip her head off when she got with Duncan. She's so annoying. CIT-experience? More like pain-in-the-ass experience. (Sorry Courtney fans, but I really hate her.)

Twilight: Jessica. Stephenie, I love you, but you could have done much better. You made Rosalie hate-worthy but also lovable with her tragic past and mental instabilities, I wish there could have been more to Jessica.

And now, for copy and pastes:

If you do copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in God and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wear black and believe in God, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have made out with someone with a boyfriend/girlfriend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you DO NOT find it sexy when guys call girls demeaning names during sex, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you eat black jelly beans, copy and paste this into your profile.

And my personal favorite:

If you are a GUY who has read EVERY book in the Twilight series and LOVED them, copy and paste this into your profile.

This almost made me cry the first time I read it:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Please, we are all people. Stop acting as though someone's sexual preference makes them an object that can be disregarded. Repost if you are against homophobia.

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The Fool on Melancholy Hill by TheUglyOne reviews
But I just have to tell you that I love you so much these days. Slash warning.
Gorillaz - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 38,708 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - 2D, Murdoc N.
Becoming House's Buisness by Parker Stark reviews
House confronts Chase Senior when he states that it’s not House’s business what he tells Chase. House seeks to prove him wrong.-HouseChase-
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/12/2009 - G. House, R. Chase - Complete
Hello by PorcelainDoll304 reviews
Duncan's first thoughts on Bridgette. DuncanBridgette
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 789 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Bridgette, Duncan - Complete
Hate This Place by PorcelainDoll304 reviews
The events leading up to Bridgette's elimination. DuncanBridgette Rated T for the f-word
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,135 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Bridgette, Duncan - Complete
House's Desk by Parker Stark reviews
Wilson had found out on accident. He supposed that it wasn't that hard to see, but it wasn't something he had -ever- seen House doing. Although, he wasn't sure he was going to ever be able to touch House's desk again. HousexX?
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 224 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/25/2008 - G. House, R. Chase - Complete
Daybreak After Godliness by HauntedPast reviews
House and his little wombat 'chat' after Chase is feeling better. Post 'Human'. Never knew a human could be so divine...
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,793 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/13/2007 - G. House, R. Chase - Complete
Human by HauntedPast reviews
Chase has a migraine. House is nice. oneshot ChasexHouse
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,598 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 26 - Published: 7/8/2007 - R. Chase, G. House - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Shaky reviews
Takes place during Half-Wit, sort of an alternate scene to the Cameron/House kiss scene. House/Chase, not as serious as my other fics.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/22/2009 - G. House, R. Chase - Complete
A Dreadful Minute reviews
Chase whimpered, “It was the worst minute of my life.” House/Chase, takes place during '97 Seconds'
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/3/2009 - R. Chase, G. House - Complete
Needing A Fix reviews
House rolled his eyes. "I don't want just anyone. I want you." House/Chase, takes place during Finding Judas
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 988 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/1/2009 - G. House, R. Chase - Complete