Author has written 10 stories for Twilight, Avalon Web of Magic, Misc. Books, Warriors, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, and In The Forests of the Night.
Hey there, readers! You can call me Storm, or TwilightFan3001!! Cool? Please read my stories, because they take forever to do. I work so hard. I hope you like them! Also, have a great day! Thanx!
If you ever fell of a chair backwards copy this in yout profile.
AV is Addictied to Vampires
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension. Copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more. Put this in your profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in yout profile( This always happens to me!)
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're one of those people how get exited when you see just two reviews, copy this in your profile.
If you truely belive, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you ( Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your pro.
95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste.
If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste.
If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile.
If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE!
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste. If you are so obsessed with Twilight its NOT funny no more, copy and paste. If you get sugar high off of carrots, or a slice of cake, or a small bowl of icecream, or 3 mini chocolate bars etc. copy this to your profile. If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile. Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight its NOT funny no more, copy and paste.
If you get sugar high off of carrots, or a slice of cake, or a small bowl of icecream, or 3 mini chocolate bars etc. copy this to your profile.
If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile
If you love Twilight, and whenever anyone says anything related to Twilight you shoot up in your seat, or whenever anyone says anything non-Twilight related, you still shoot up in your seat and try to find a way to relate it to Twilight e.g. someone says air, you say "Vampires don't need to breathe air!" or they say car, you say "You know an awesome car? An Aston Martin Vanquish..." OR! When you're bored in Science class, you turn to the nearest Twilight friend and say "Hey Isabella, or Julie, or Maddi, or Caity," and they go "Yeah?" And I go "You know what?" and they go "What?" and I desperately try to come up with something Twilight related e.g. "Jacob sucks eh?" and they go "Totally..."
If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people please copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.
Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.
If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.
If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.
If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.
If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do..
If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid locker!) copy and paste this to your profile.
If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.
98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile.
If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you argue with your self and are constanly pretending to be on the phone (putting your hand to your ear, etc.) not realizing that you look stupider then just talking to your self copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think you were switched at birth because you have special powers (Seeing the future, feeling emotions, hearing thoughts, etc.) and/or because your parents are totally geeks, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have considered nameing your kids Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, or Esme, copy and paste this onto your profile(I comtemplate this every other day! Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper are my favorites!)
If you are a proud stalker and obsessed fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this
If your second favorite of the Cullen males is Jasper Whitlock Hale, copy and paste this onto your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this to make it longer.
If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen (his name doesn't have to be Edward Cullen) out there for you, put this on your profile.
If you know you have an un-healthy obsession with any or all Cullens, but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly you don't wanna heal, put this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile(I run into them every day. They plot against me and move when I am about to walk through the doorway. They just hate me. :(
If you have ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this onto your profile(I once fell out of my chair forwards, don't ask how.)
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
SEAMCJWH is Stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Jasper Whitlock Hale
If you think Rap stands for Retards Attempting Poetry paste this on your profile
If you think vampires are real and you want to join them, copy this onto your profile
If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile
You know it's gonna be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile.
If you can't appreciate Edward Cullen, please leave the vicinity
If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.
-If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever thought really hard about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is and hope he heard, copy and paste this into your profile.
If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.
if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile.
Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you're nocturnal copy and paste this in your profile.
If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile.
If it drives you insane when you someone asks a question and you answer it and they say why and so you answer that and then they say why again and you answer that one and it goes on and on until you can’t answer anything anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile
If you've ever wondered why Bush won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste (smiles)
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you agree, that purple bunnies with sporks WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile
If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT and NEW MOON over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile
If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the above mentioned, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile.
Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.
If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.
If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are on for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.
IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
REMEMBER WHEN ..
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
i really like that, its so true and if u get it, it means a lot.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward..." and it was all goood. (me: uh-huh. no arguements there!)
¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
I find "good morning" contradictory
My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then? (me: huh? oh, take that!)
Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon
I think I could be madly in like with you
Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips!
Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a brdge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.
~ Treat each day as your last; one day you'll be right.
~ Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...
All i ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy!
~ They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken. -thats my fav 'cause it's so true!
~ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
~ Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
~ Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
~ Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
~ Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
~ What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...
1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 7 for me
2) You own all above mentioned books.
3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.
5) You have reread a lot of these pages.
6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.
7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.
8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says
9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.
10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.
14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk
15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a
21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.
23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information
27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns
28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean
29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website
30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series
31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"
32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition
33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it
34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books
35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them
36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines
37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die
38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care
39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2cd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco
40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter
41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown
42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown
43). You noticed there is no number 25
Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
When you show it to your mother and she says,"Oh my Gosh, he has a face!"
You have dreamt about Edward at least one time in your life.
You get mad when someone says that they don't like Edward and like Jacob instead.
You are looking at all of these and laughing and nodding or saying,"Yep, that's me."
You get mad when people say they haven't read the book.
If you have done any of these, copy and paste it to your profile.
If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
~I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN MORE THAN YOU!
Jacob is NOT the totally worst person on the face of the earth. That would be a tie between Paris Hilton, Saddam Heussein, Hilary Clinton, all the animal abusers, all the child abusers, all the dog-fighters, and the cheerleaders at school.
If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-sees something shiny- OMG! SHINY! -runs over to it- OOH! A POINTY OBJECT! -pokes said pointy object- OW! I CUT MYSELF! I MUST BE EMO! -sniffs the blood OMG! IM A VAMPIRE NOW! MY LIFE IS TURNING INTO A SPIRALING PIT OF DEPRESSION!! -smiles evilly- ON THE OTHER HAND, I'M A VAMPIRE LIKE EDWARD AND EMMETT!! YAY! BITE ME, EDWARD
-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience - Lol! (Some Genius)
-Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe-
-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway-
-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-
-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-
-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell-
-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-
-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-
-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-
-Just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying -
-Falling in love was the best idea I ever had-
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you,
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Me & my friends
~aren't sold seperatly~
My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.
Let's flip a coin: Heads, Edward and I will be together. Tails, we'll flip again.
Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5
Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
When life throws you lemons...OMG! You're pregnant!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!
Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it?
When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.
I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.
Silent is golden but duck tape is silver
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines.
You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.
Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.
Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.
You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.
Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.
Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.
Smile... it confuses people.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.
I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."
Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo
One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.
I don't obsess, I think intensely.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.
You know, there are times when we're dirt broke, hungry and freezing, and I ask myself, "why the hell am i still living here." and then they call and i remember.
Someone should sue Disney for making every little girl believe shes found her prince charming.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask myself, “Is life multiple choose questions or true or false questions?” and then a voice inside my head says, “We hate to tell you this, but life’s a 1,000 word essay.
Sunglasses are in the two splash category. The first splash is the sunglasses falling into the water. The second splash is you jumping in after them.
Life is like a box of chocolates, don't eat them too fast.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
Is he gay or European?
Music man took my soul...
Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
SIGNS OF INSANITY:
Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)
Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
ThInGs To PoNdEr:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Disclaimers are stupid. I'm obviously not Stephenie Meyer.
If you're a Jacob fan, you can just go shoot yourself in the foot.
If you're an Edward fan, I completely agree with you and am certain you are a wonderful person.
If you don't know who Jacob and Edward ( ) are, then leave. Seriously. Go. Now.
WARNING: Having a vampire boyfriend may be hazerdous to your health. Not that you care , Bella ;)
Real men Sparkle...
I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling.
When little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I wanted to be a vampire.
Bite me... you know you want to!
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. It was a hard line to walk.
Kroptonite doesn't bother me either.
Well, It's no irritable grizzly...
I'm dazzled by a fictional(yeah right!) vampire by the name of EDWARD CULLEN
10 Ways To Act Like A Retard
1.PULL ON A PUSH DOOR
3.SAY YOUR GOING TO MOW THE CAT AND FEED THE LAWN.
4.SAY RAM DOME THINGS.
5.WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR NAME SAY DUMM DUMM DUMM.
6.GO TO A ITAL LION RESTAURANT AND ASK FOR SUSHI.
7.TRY TO SPEAK JAPANESSE TO A SPANISH LADY.
8.TRY TO PAY WITH A CREDIT CARD AT MC DONALDS FOR A 1 DOLLAR THING.
9.ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION AND THEN ANSWER IT.
10.RUN AROUND WITH YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN YELLING "I'M A TREE STUMP"!
10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:
1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.
2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.
3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.
4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.
5. Try To Sell Your Money.
6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.
7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.
8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.
9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.
10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant
ATTENTION: ADD IS AUTOMATIC DEATH DISORDER! PASS IT ON!
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.
Forever isn't as long as it use to be.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
You're intoxocated by my very presence
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!
P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.
-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.
-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -
- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- He who laughs last didn't get it.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
"I win! Even if you think that you win you don't because I do in my super awesome power!"
"See, I'm weird, which is normal for me but being normal for me is weird which I am normally meaning that technically I'm normal because that's weird for me and I am weird. Get it?"
Oh, well crap... Hey! Look! A cookie!"
"ROCK ABUSE! ROCK ABUSE! ROCK ABUSE! I SPOT A ROCK ABUSER!"
"It's a... It's a... ITS A DEER AFTER JASPER THREW IT AGAINST A BUILDING FOR KICKING HIM OVER THE HEAD WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO KILL IT AND SCREWING UP HIS AWESOME EYELINER!"
"ASAP is fun to say. It's all ASAP real fast and that's just... VOOM! Fastness. But it's amusing. Like dental floss and fried chicken wings, you know? VOOM!"
"Oh, hey, LOOK! That boy just fell over!"
“ Hi, I’m ...uhhhhhhhhhh...ummmmmmmmmmmm...Oh Yeah , Hi I’m ( insert person you re talking to’s name here)
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, then youre just like me...retarted – am I making you feel any better?
I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.
50 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:
1, What color is your toothbrush?
2, Name one person who made you smile today:
3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
5, What is your favorite candy bar?
don't eat em'
6, Have you ever been to a strip club?
7, What is the last thing you said aloud?
I am going on computer
8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
9, What was the last thing you had to drink?
10, Do you like your wallet?
11, What was the last thing you ate?
12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
13, The last sporting event you watched?
14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
I just like popcorn
15, Who is the last person you sent a text message too?
16, Ever go camping?
17, Do you take vitamins daily?
18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
19, Do you have a tan?
20,Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
22, What did your last text message say?
23, What are you doing tomorrow?
25, Look to your left, what do you see?
which side is left?
26, What color is your watch?
27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
koalas, Uluru, kangoroos
28, What is your birthstone?
29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
30, What is your favorite number?
31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
32, Any plans today?
33, How many states have you lived in?
34, Biggest annoyance right now?
35, Last song listened to?
Walk Through the Fire by Buffy the vampire slayer
36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
38, Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
39, Are you jealous of anyone?
40, Is anyone jealous of you?
IDK. Wht do I look like a mind reader??
41, Do you love anyone?
42, Do any of your friends have children?
43, What do you usually do during the day?
During the week: School
44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Not really... but I strongly dislike some people.
45, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yes! Like 5 million times a day.
46, What color is your car?
I don’t have a car
47, Do you like cats?
Yeah. I have one
48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
50, How did you get your worst scar?
I have no scars! but I wish I did...
guy pulls up to the drive through window "i want a cheesburger with NO bun NO burger NO cheese NO pickles NO catsup just the onions and the seeds of the bun" "sir that makes no sense.""i said, i want a cheesburger with NO bun NO burger NO cheese NO pickles NO catsup just the onions and the seeds of the bun!!" "sir i cant give that to you" "why not??" "because we dont carry onions or seeds" "YEAH YOU DO!! THEYRE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!" "NO THEYRE NOT SIR" "yes they are" "no, theyre not" "FINE! then goodbye!"
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