Well guess I gotta update my profile at last eh? Well I'm 21 years old as of now but I won't give my irl name. I'm an avid RP'er, I love RPGs of all kinds and am quite random. I grew up mostly alone which led to me developing a habit of talking to myself so don't be too surprised if my characters do it. Hmmm... what am I missing... oh I'm from Greece and currently studying programming. Kinda boring really but mostly because of my teachers. Other than that... well not much I guess.

My personal motto is: We are all crazy, I'm just enjoying the ride.

One last thing you should know about me, learn to distinguish between sarcasm and irony cause I've hurt people without meaning to.

Ja ne.

Quotable Quotes:

"Insanity is like fear. It's in the eye of the Beholder. Good thing I ripped the bastard's eyes out then huh?" ~Me

"Before I go I got a few things to say. SCREW YOU! Screw you Konoha, screw you Koharu, screw you Homura, let's not forget to screw you Danzou but most importantly SCREW YOU KAKASHI! Thank you all very much for being insufferable jackasses that wouldn't find their way out of a paper bag. So SCREW YOU BITCHES!" ~Naruto, Kage's Exodus

"The box is just square and boring. Get your mind out of it!" ~Me

"There is no thought pointless or foolish, merely not thought out well enough." ~Me

"Fangirls are like whiny puppies. They are annoying as hell, but everyone pities them too much to kill them. Oh, they are also very loud." ~Me

I would like to apologize for the delay in publishing everyone. The truth is, I'm completing the next chapters for Proto-Naruto and Dragon Tamer, while also having completed the first two chapters for Cosmic Maelstrom and almost finished the first chapter for my DMC/Naruto crossover (to be named Devil's Tears, Demon's Redemption once I publish it.

I just want you to know that life got hectic for me. I picked a total of 46 hours of lessons every week for my uni. Unfortunately, time's running out and I have to focus as much as possible on them. So, I will publish when I can because, quite frankly, my mother's right. I've been a lazy bum for far too long, time to earn my upkeep and get my brain working. No point giving up school when I'm so close to finishing it right?

Anyway, I want to thank you for your patience and, don't worry, my ideas aren't getting away from me. They all get diligently written down for when I get the time to put them in.

On another, just as important note; if there's anyone amongst you that's good with artwork, and has the free time to do it, would you like to draw any artwork for my fics? I've started out penciling a few things, but I'm only good at drawing weapons and, even then, I'm not that good at it. I can't add color or depth to them. But, I do have descriptions and my pencil drawings for those interested. I cannot pay for it, so it's more like if you have nothing else to do and want to pass the time. Thanks in advance :D

Ranting time I guess. There's one big problem here and it's name is... YAOI. Seriously, I'm bloody sick and tired of seeing so much yaoi. Whenever I search, I must immidiately forbid the words: yaoi, Narusasu, Sasunaru, gay, slash, GaaNaru, NaruGaa... It's sickening!!! I mean, I understand how some people might get their jollies off it, but it's so much it's sickening. In one search, without the yaoi-bans, there were more than one thousand results. WITH the ban, it was about 30-40... It's bloody ridiculous, every second author writes a yaoi story just for the heck of it. I'm begining to think that people find this site as a way to come out of the closet without doing it publicly and getting embarassed. If they were even well written in terms of story, I COULD accept them. But about 99% of them suck. They suck so much I can't even joke about them because they end up being so pathetic it truly brings me to tears. While not a homophobe (I actually have a friend who is homosexual and as long as he doesn't try anything, I don't have a problem), it is seriously annoying to see such things go on in such a level. Heck, even he was apalled at the amount of gayness portrayed. At least, if you're gonna write one, DO try and give it a script of a higher level than 'Sasuke summoned/talked/looked at Naruto and they fell in love and fucked, end of story'. No really, give it a shot at a better scenario. I always thought Brokeback Mountain would open Aeolus's Sacks...

Also another thing. I'm freaking sick and TIRED of seeing people make Naruto a complete retard. Sure, he's not the sharpest kunai in a bunch, but he is NOT a fucking retard. I mean seriously, he's dense, he knows little and he doesn't give two shits about demeanor. That DOES NOT make him a fucking retard. I'm willing to bet he has above average IQ in fact, seeing as he can quickly use his wits when needed. Instead, here we see hundreds of stories (if not authors) who make Naruto a freaking subbie bitch. I mean, give the dude some backbone! Who got the story that when a woman gets mad, the man becomes a submissive blundering fool because of fear? It's not fear god damnit, it's respect and atoning for mistakes, or even caring for someone. Now seriously, how many fics have you seen where Naruto talks with Kyubi, sees the Kyubi, fights the Kyubi but NEVER gets the fucking hint that a huge-ass nine-tailed fox is the fucking Kyubi?! Then everyone goes around and makes him a coward. Get it through your heads, he ISN'T! Sure he may be shaken by the fox, who wouldn't. But that doesn't mean he freezes up, drools and falls into depression. We ALL know that if there's one thing that Naruto does well, it's never EVER give up. So why would he give in to his fear? No really, the only thing he has is willpower and so many authors take that away to give him a pathetic little copy of some god-mode bloodline. Well fuck that. When you get a character that is as awesome as Naruto has the potential to be, then you DON'T fuck him over! He's got guts, he's got wits, he's got endurance. You start taking from that to 'balance him out' or whatever bull-crap, and he ISN'T Naruto any more, he's just another male subbie bitch at the servitude of something that should seve him instead. Besides, if the Kyubi was so freaking badass and scary and crap, then how did they seal him in the first place, because we know that Naruto's probably braver than anyone else out there. If the fox freezes Naruto in fear then what would it do to anyone else huh? In the end, just give the dude the respect he's due. Freaking pansy-ass writers messing fucking around with a perfectly good character to get their sick jollies...

Yet another thing is reviewers. We love them, need them, hoard them in some cases. We FEED on the stuff. But herein lies a problem; bad reviewers. Come on people, reviewing is to tell an author where he has messed up and where he/she did well. The whole point is being truthful about it. You can't really see a crappy story, with a crappy syntax, a crappy vocabulary and a beyond crappy background with unrealistic reactions to the characters and just say 'gud fic,rite moar pl0x' or something. Come on people, we like better stories so demand quality from the authors, let them (and me) know when they mess up. Tell them where they messed up and how to fix it. I didn't say you should flame, but at the very least be serious about it. Add a little bit more to the review, like your favourite part, or speculation about the future. Makes for much more interesting fics. And that means better overall quality.

First Challenge: Naruto-enigma:

1)Plenty of bashing. Not necessarily or undeserved or even hostile but I really wanna see Naruto and Sasuke going at each other's throats over the slightest thing.

2)Kushina (Naruto's mom) should play a part. Whether she is alive or a spiritual guide or in some way or another affects him I really want her inside.

3)Naruto's powers can not be explained by anything. He just does things that are not explained by chakra or kekkei genkai or anything. A physic examination would show him without abnormalities, as would the Byakugan and the Sharingan. They must not be a crossover or more than a bit inspired by them. No kung-fu controlling elements or intelligent swords or vampires or werewolves ok? UNIQUE is the keyword. Anything you ever imagined in a fever and honey'd vodka coupled with LSD induced dream. The more unique the better.

4)Naruto is powerful. Not necessarily godlike but he should be more powerful than most around him.

5)Apart from his enigmatic skills Naruto should focus in seals and either taijutsu or weapons. Ninjutsu are good too but he should specialize in them, just use them to 'spice things up'

6)Naruto's a bit... unhinged. Go buck wild giving him any sort of quirks or derangements. Talking to himself or dual personalities or hallucinations or prophetic visions (who might not be prophetic at all of course). Anything goes.

7)Naruto is not evil. Just an enigma. Unexplained and impossible to figure out.

8)Kyubi is not a mindless beast hell-bent on destruction. He is smart and manipulating. If he's evil he's got a plan, if not he still has a plan. I don't care if Kyubi is male or not but I'd prefer him so personally.

9)Sasuke should be good in this one through whatever way you want. Either soul-searching or whatever I just wanna see a good Sasuke for once. He should still argue with Naruto at every chance. Friendly fights and all that. He still hates fangirls though.

10)Sakura and Kakashi will be jerks. Especially Kakashi who will fear Naruto's unexplicable powers.

11)Everyone who doesn't really know Naruto is scared of him. Or at least uncomfortable. No matter what something on him is weird and people feel it. They may or may not react on it, may like or hate him for it but they all feel it.

12)Naruto's pairings I don't really care but make sure to portray it enough. If Hinata doesn't end up with him, she becomes a sort of older-sister figure always looking out for him.

13)Orochimaru does go after Naruto as well as Sasuke at the Chuunin exams.

14)Jiraiya is not a perverted fool. He is a perverted awesome shinobi that can kick Oro-teme's ass to next Sunday when he puts his mind to it. And he's hell-bent on teaching Naruto all he can.

15)The council is hateful but not stupid. Danzou is a manipulative bastard without the Sharingan, but enough political know-how and leverage to put any Daimyo to shame. His ROOT range from weaklings to seasoned veterans that could take out Kakashi.

16)Naruto is at some point exiled and leaves to gather the Jinchuuriki and settle on a village after the Akatsuki have been dealt with. Eventually all the Konoha 12 that are alive until then and their clans go with him. Feel free to add other clans. Ruling system is a council of elected shinobi, one for each area of need all commanded by the Kage. The kage is elected from the entire population but stays there until he quits or dies.

17)Hiashi is an arse and gets his due by Hinata.

18)Feel free to add any weapon, trick, gadget or skill you want as long as its logical. No reding time and space apart unless that's Naruto's power.

I think that's all. Mainly I want an enigmatic Naruto with just as enigmatic abilities noone can explain. He should be really doing the impossible. One idea that I got is him referring to the elements as his family (earth-mother, sea-grandma, wind grandpa, fire-dad and lightning-brother). He talks to them and they listen. He literally makes a ritualistic casting by praying for them and they answer. He also constantly refers to them by their family name and is distrusted by everyone cause he is freaky. An insane kid with just as insane control of the elements. Kyubi taught him the art because he wants him to get back at Madara. Kyubi doesn't really care about Naruto but he needs him to kill the bastard that controlled him. Other than that he leaves Naruto alone. Anyway just go do whatever freaky, unexplained, chaotic, brilliant idea that is NOT a crossover and is simply, beautifully unique. Good luck :D Sent me a message when you start on one or if you want my opinion :D

People that have (to my knowledge): picked this up: KillamriX88

Second Challenge: What if Sandaime isn't a tired useless geezer?

Ok this one is simple. We all know how the old monkey revealed that Naruto held Kyubi right? And how everyone went nuts and all? Well in this case this doesn't happen. Sandaime reveals that Naruto is the prison but he gives a speech good enough to turn them. I want this mainly because I believe Sandaime as the legendary Proffesor has been seriously messed up. I mean sheesh, he shouldn't kowtow to every piece of scum. In my opinion he should have gone berserk on their asses and explained everything on them, including how the seal works and show them he's not a tired old geezer, but the dreaded general his soldiers would follow to hell and back. I want a Sandaime with a burning spirit, fighting hand and tooth for everything. That's pretty much it really. Again if one picks it up I'd like to get a PM on it :D

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember