The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is brokenDon't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars - Violeta Parra
The worst feeling isn't being lonely; it's being forgotten by someone you would never forget. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that, my children, is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most countries. ~Willie Wonka
When did reality become TV?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.
JUDGE NOT CONVINCED MURDER VICTIM IS ALIVE
11 HIGH STUDENTS SCORE PERFECT GRADE
MAN KILLED OVER PHONE
POLICEMAN SHOOTS MAN WITH KNIFE
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much, stupid?"
A friend will always say "well you deserve better". A best friend will be prank-calling him saying "you will die in seven days".
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
A good friend never eats your food. A best friend is the reason you have no food.
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Friends: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing
Best Friends: Will kick the whole crowd's butts that left you
Best Friends: Are forever
If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. (Got that right!)
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
If you are insane and proud of it, copy this
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."
You live off sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. (guilty look)
Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random (but they also have impeccable grammar).
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You zone out even with other people.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny a loooooong time ago.
You're profile is REALLY long.
Your computer runs out of memory.
You can't stop writing!
If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that remind you of any of the iCarly team, copy and and paste this
If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Samantha, copy thisIf you have OSD put this in your profile! (Obsessive Seddie Disorder!)
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this.
If you think that only losers hate/don't get iCarly, copy this
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy this Samsara spiral on into time, lovers reborn and meet again. L may be gone, but he will return, Light will be waiting for him until then! I hereby solemnly support Light and L as a couple. L should not have been killed. (Nor Rem be sacrificed to kill him!) If you think L and Light make a good couple and that L shouldn’t have died, copy and paste this into your bio!
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy this
Samsara spiral on into time, lovers reborn and meet again. L may be gone, but he will return, Light will be waiting for him until then! I hereby solemnly support Light and L as a couple. L should not have been killed. (Nor Rem be sacrificed to kill him!) If you think L and Light make a good couple and that L shouldn’t have died, copy and paste this into your bio!
The Ouran Alphabet
A is for Academy, which is where the Ouran students attend
B is for Boy-Lolita, which is Mitsukuni Haninozuka
C is for Cosplay, which the Hosts do every day
D is for Debt, which is 8 million yen
E is for Emo Corner, which is Tamaki's depression spot
F is for Female, which is Haruhi's true gender
G is for Guy, which Haruhi has to dress and act like to pay off her debt
H is for Hikaru, who is the confused one of the Hitachiin Twins
I is for Innocent, which Honey claims to be
J is for Jealousy, which Hikaru expresses towards Haruhi and Arai
K is for Kaoru, who is the sweetest of the Hitachiin Twins
L is for Love, which is the feeling that Hikaru doesn't quite understand
M is for Mori, who is the strong and silent type
N is for Nekozawa, who will put a curse on you if you don't watch your back
O is for Ootori, which is a big name in the medical business
P is for Puppet, and its name is Belzeneff
Q is for Quiet, which basically describes Mori
R is for Roses, which every Host Club member has in their own color
S is for Swimsuit, which the Hitachiin brothers would like to see Haruhi wear
T is for Tamaki, who considers himself as the "King" of the Host Club
U is for Usa-chan, which is the name of Honey's stuffed bunny
V is for Vocals, which Renge uses a lot
W is for Wonderland, where Haruhi had seen her mother
X is for X-Ray Vision, which the Hitachiin Brothers wish they had
Y is for Yaoi, which the Ouran show has a lot of thanks to the Hitachiin Twins
Z is for the Zuka Club, which Haruhi was almost forced to join
If you have never heard or seen the Ouran Alphabet before until now, copy and paste this into your profile
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.