LoneWolf KIA
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Joined 04-05-09, id: 1890510, Profile Updated: 06-07-10
Author has written 7 stories for Naruto.

Name: R. (I'm not givin you my name, you freak)

Age: What's it to you?

Gender: Yes, I'm a guy. So is Deidara, as it turns out.

Hair: Blond (blond jokes dont faze me; I know I'm smarter than you)

Eyes: Blue (sigh... yes I am a Nazi)

Seme/Uke: Sadistic Seme :D If you don't understand, go to SemeUke.com and take the test

Fav bands: System of a Down, Three days Grace, Pillar, Slipknot, 3 Doors down, Nirvana, Rise Against, Papa Roach, Paramore, Nickelback, Linkin Park, Fall out Boy, Bullet for my valentine, Blink 182, 30 Seconds to Mars, Alkaline Trio, Flyleaf

Random (weird) Info: I have a giant poster of Death on my wall. I have a yodelling stuffed marmot I got from France hanging from a childs replica basketball hoop on the side of my bed that I use for an alarm clock. I once gave a speech in front of Prince Charles.

Likes: Death. The sadness of children. Darkness. Rain. Non-sparkly Vampires. Music. Deathnote, .Hack and (sometimes) Naruto. Idiots hurting themselves trying to look cool. Books by Darren Shan. Guitar hero. 40k. Disliking things. Wolves and werewolves.

Favourite pairings: Are you kidding?

Story behind new pen name: We're doing the American West in History and our slightly crazy teacher gave everyone Indian names. Obviously, mine was 'Lone Wolf' (which I was chuffed about) and accordingly I became obsessed with wolves and werewolves =_=

Hates (big ones in bold):



Bright colours.


Girl bands.






Amy Winehouse.

Religious people.



Trinny and Susanna.

Diet books.


Teachers who think they're your friends.

Pushy school psychiatrists.

Women's magazines.

Men's magazines.


Tourists that think they can speak the country's language but can't.


Indian telesales guys.

Hot pants (on guys and fat and/or old women).

Barry Scott.

Mr Muscle.

Viagra adverts.

My rubbish XBOX 360 connection.

My gay XBOX LIVE name.

The labour party.

The conservative party.

Tampon adverts.

People who say 'lol' when they're talking to people.

How baseball players chew and spit all the time (even when they don't have gum).

George Bush (both of them).

The army.

The Navy.

The air force.

Boy scouts.

People who generalise what scouts are like.

The amount Simon Cowell gets paid for telling people they suck (I do that for FREE!!).

The 60's.

The 70's.

The 80's.

Joan Rivers.

The British national anthem (there are better songs to represent us...).

Pikachu (friggin yellow mouse).

The BNP and their supporters.

Dobby the house elf.



Boy racers who drive crap cars.

People who think we evolved from monkies.

Old people.

Louis Therou.

Punch and Judy shows.

Rap remixes of decent songs.

Christian charities (why do evangelists need money?).

Pop ups.

The Iraq War.

The war in Afghanistan.

All the other pointless wars we don't even realise we're in.

Darts players.

Norton antivirus updates/scans.

AVG updates.

Paul McKenna.

People who send out of date pineapple chunks to third world countries.


Most Haunted and the people on it.

People who can't spell.



People who badmouth the Jews, even after the Holocaust.

All premiership footballers.

Victoria Beckham.


Books by Jeremy Clarkson.

California electing Arnold Scwarzenigger as governor (one step up from electing Bugs Bunny).



Drug addicts.

The IRA.

Unicorns that refuse to impale people with their horn.

Chavs who go into games workshop and ask: "Do you have to smash up the models?" Skaters.

People who think swearing is always bad.

Iggy Pop.

The Jerry Springer show.

Paris Hilton.

Those blatant stalkers who went on "Paris' British Best Friend."

The Middle East.

When TV snooker overruns into real entertainment.


Smokers with children.

Smokers smoking in public.

Smokers who smoke in cars with non-smoking passenger in.

Smokers who throw cigarettes on the ground.

Smokers who complained about the smoking ban.

Smokers who don't give a sht when we tell them not to.

Smokers who think I tell them not to because I'm worried about their health (I don't give a fck about your health, you druggy, I'm worried about everyone else you're killing).

Trisha Goddard.

Blue (the band).

The Nazi party.

People who refuse to donate their cadavers to medical science and thereby save lives, instead preferring to have their corpse dumped in a muddy hole.

The Sun newspaper.

Dumb-ass journalists.



Hippies who take drugs, ruining their credibility.

Artists who think a lightbulb and a sink is art.

People who refuse to read books.

Britain's binge drinking culture.

Lucky Star (sorry Paige, I just can't stand the HAPPINESS! TT-TT).

The X-factor.

Pop idol.


The 'Games Workshop gremilns.'

Knife crime.

Gun crime.

Council estates.

Buskers who have no talent.

Will young.

Take That (especially Robbie Williams, who left a rubbish band to become an even worse solo performer).

The fact that this thing is so long and complicated that I can't find where I made a spelling mistake.

Coffee and tea.

My Grandad forgetting that I hate tea and coffee.

Hello Kitty.

Tarts who carry dogs in handbags.



US college fraternities.


People who can never see the bright side of communism.

Big Brother.

All past, present and future Big Brother contestants.

Not having the death penalty.

The gratuitous frolicking in the twilight books.

The legalised cannabis alliance.

Cyclists who don't stop at lights.

Bratz dolls.






Motorists who don't indicate on roundabouts.

Kim Jong Il (is that how you spell it? 0.o).

Those depressing RSPCA adverts.

Slow drivers.

Fast drivers.

Drunk drivers.

Angry drivers.

Rubbish drivers.

Arrogantly good drivers who beep when anybody isn't perfect.

Weirdos who complain to TV companies.


Football video games

The Deep South.

How Brutal Legend turned out to be a fairly crappy RTS instead of a brilliant free-roaming hack n’ slash like it was supposed to be.

Postman Pat.

Fireman Sam

Bob the Builder and Rollie too

Year 7's.

Year 8's.

Year 9's.

Year 10's.

Any year below what I've already mentioned.

Post-Modern feminists.

Mamma Mia (especially after I was forced to watch it on a 19 hour bus ride to Germany).


Vampires that sparkle.

'You Are What You Eat.'

All TV soaps.



Jimi Hendrix.

The Beatles.

People who put little England flags on their cars.

A large number of anonymous people at my school…

WWE wrestling.

People who think everybody wants to talk about WWE wrestling.

The snooty, lying, animal-torturing bastards at L'oreal.

AIDS (I don't have it, it just annoys me...)

The British Monarchy.


Kid Rock.


People who can't accept Elvis died, fat, on the toilet like a complete freak.

Swine flu.



Burger King.

People who purposely upset my friends.

People who are too stupid to realise they are accidently upsetting my friends.

Chavs and American devil children on Modern Warfare 2 who scream profanities down the xbox mike in annoying voices.

Garlic bread at inappropriate times.



People who want to know what people hate...

I apologise to anyone I have offended with this list. Rest assured you will soon be on it.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Shapeshifter and the Thief reviews
Naruto fanfic using OCs. The story of two gifted children, one a shapeshifter, the other a thief, whose lives are inevitably twisted together. Victims of tradgedy, together they must defeat an evil spirit of their past. M for animalistic violence and gore
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 41,011 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/12/2010 - Published: 4/16/2009
Akatsuki crack-fic. After finding some mysterious tickets, the Akatsuki head out to Spiritfest: a concert festival featuring hippies, suspicious narcotics and SHINY BEADS! contains strong language, sex and drug references and gratuitous funny moments
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,449 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/9/2010 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Akatsuki
Akatsuki summer holiday! reviews
Following an unfortunate argument and the discovery of Pein's toast fetish, the Akatsuki take a well deserved trip to Orlando, Florida. Featuring gender confusion, sex education, drugs, cavity searches and gratutious crotch maiming! Please review now!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,487 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/24/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Akatsuki
Psychology for retards reviews
It finally happened! Following an unfortunate incident at a sushi bar, the Akatsuki are ordered into therapy! Never before have the 'minds' of the Akatsuki been so thoroughly probed! Reviews are much appreciated!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,891 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Akatsuki
Deidara's Drawers reviews
Hidan and Kakuzu devise a fiendish plan to discover, once and for all, what Deidara's gender really is. A filthy suggestive mess of weird stuff. I have yet to write a yaoi-free story. Reviews please!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,407 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Akatsuki - Complete
Akatsuki Truth or Dare reviews
It's what it sounds like: The Akatsuki are spinning bottles. If want disturbing, you've got it! If you want Yaoi, you've got that too, in tasteful and necessary doses. Strangely, Konan isn't done! I want your reviews! Please?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 929 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Akatsuki - Complete
Let's ask Hidan! reviews
A short comedy featuring Tobi, probing Hidan's mind to uncomfortable levels. Also including Deidara and a strange picturing of Kakuzu. Essentially one long, yet hilarious innuendo in story form. Warning: sanity resistant. Reviews welcome and wanted!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 744 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Obito U., Hidan - Complete