JasperSAYSrelax128
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Joined 04-05-09, id: 1890875, Profile Updated: 02-10-12
Author has written 22 stories for Twilight, Misc. Books, and Shiver, Maggie Stiefvater.

Age: 19

JSR IS BACKK NIKKUHSSS

old stuff:

"Geez, I give you my favorites list and you go and insult the authors!"

Stories Blog, for sneak peaks and news: www.comtastical.blogspot.com

So you want to know JasperSAYSrelax128?

For me, fear is walking in front of a group of people, just to be worried about how they think you look.

For me, acting rude and obnoxious in class is normal, no matter how weird you think I am.

For me, having bizarre dreams is my escape from the real world.

For me, breaking an awkward silence by yelling “MUFFINS!” is the best.

For me, hiding my true feelings with a stupid or sarcastic remark, and a good laugh, is natural.

For me, making people laugh makes me feel that speck of hope that I am good for something.

For me, hilarity is me doing a rain dance in PE in hope of canceling the mile, and it raining two minutes later.

For me, loyalty is my best friend in jail, and me right next to him sayin “DAMN!”

For me, bonding time is my best friend in jail, and me in the cell next to him saying “THAT WAS AWESOME LET’S DO IT AGAIN!”

For me, friendship is me beating a random girl’s ass...because she told my friend her shoes were ugly.

For me, being myself is my friend getting rejected, and me calling up the guy and whispering “7 days...”

For me, fun is sending random people in class visual death threats during a lecture, just for the laugh.

And at the end of the day, it will all be okay. Because I’ll still smile for someone, and I’ll still laugh for something, and I’ll still live on.

- JasperSAYSrelax128

My opinion of running the mile and a half:

Brianna: Come on, let's go!

Me: -panting- fuck...no...

friend: BELIEVING IS SUCCEEDING!

Me: I BELIEVE!! -starts running-

...-runs 10 feet-

Me: okay. Done believing.

My opinion of Miley Cyrus:

Random Girl: I follow Miley Cyrus’s tour dates so I know when to go see her when she comes.

Me: Really? I follow Miley Cyrus’s tour dates so I know when to leave the city when she comes.

My opinion on texting:

Me: uhh...Q...Q...WHERE'S THE FUCKING Q?!

...5 minutes later...

Me: AHA! FOUUUUND IT!!

Mom: what? the Q?

Me: no. the send button.

My opinion on explanations:

Jules: What kind of cell phone do you have?

Me: I have the Blackjack 2.

Jules: what's a Blackjack 2?

Me: THE BLACK THINGY WITH THE BUTTONS THAT GO BEEP.

My opinion on friendship:

Rachelle: So, who was that that you were with earlier?

Me: Who, Steven?

Rachelle: Yea, you guys looked like you were the best of friends, joking around, laughing…how long have you known each other?

Me: ...a day.

My opinion on mornings:

Jules: Good morning Sunshine! The sun says hello.

Me: fuck the sun.

My opinion on helping a friend:

Tori: Hey guyz! I need help! What would you do if your cell phone got lost in a CORN MAZE when its pitch black outside...?!

Me: get down on your hands and knees and pray to god no one mistakes it for a stepping stone.

How I think:

Me: He broke up with me over a text.

Jules: What a jerk.

Me: I know! HE DIDN'T USE ANY COMMAS!!

Projects:

Teacher: Okay, so the point of this project is a research project. You can do it on anything. You can even do it on homeless people. You’d have to have a “doing” thing that you would do, like if you were doing homeless people, you could go pretend to be a homeless person in the park. Try not to pick something like sitting out in your backyard doing nothing for 10 hours. How many people would get bored after ten minutes?

Me: Dude I’d be out of there after five.

IMing:

Mitchell: Ben=jackass

Me: Mitchell=dumbass

In class:

Mr. Cole: I could have taught at elementary school, but the math students aren’t as advanced. I wanted to find people who were more intelligent.

Me: and then you found Alden.

MYSPACEE:

Sarah: god damn it i need someone to hang out with.

Me: There are always chia pets. I heard those are good company.

TV:

Mom: Buzz Aldren is on here! That famous astronaut guy!

Me: Buzz Lightyear?

Mom: Buzz Aldren!

Me: Buzz Lightyear?

Mom: Jenny. Don’t be disrespectful—the guy went to space!!

Me: ...yea, so did Buzz Lightyear...

IM:

Me: life goes on.

Mitchell: ...

Me: until u die.

Mitchell: ...

Me: HAHAHA. then you're...dead.

Mitchell: ...

Me: and theres no life.

Mitchell: ...

Me: oh wait...theres JESUS!

Facebook: (posting my status)

Me: I'm a sad sad panda.

My sister: Can I feed the panda bamboo shoots!!!????

Me: PETTING ZOO HOURS ARE CLOSED!!

Facebook #2:

Mitchell: They're remodeling Wal-Mart!!

Random girl: Um, they have been for like a year.

Me: Mitchell are you serious? Wal-Mart is what you think the facebook world gives a shit about?

Mitchell: hahahahaha, there are some old people on here that may want to know.

My Room:

Me: You’re gonna swim in the ocean with me, right?

Jules: As long as there are no jellyfish.

Me: What do you have against jellyfish?

Jules: They KILL YOU.

Me: ...you’re racist.

Facebook:

Me: I'm genious XD

Jules: hey genius you spelled genius wrong.

Me: ...I'm genius.

Jules: PAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

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I Just Want To Dance: A Cinderella Story by LermanAddictx3 reviews
AU: All Human. Bella is a modern day cinderella, wants to go to dance school and have a good life, without her Step-dad Phil. Edward is a Famous singer, he wants a break for the music and goes back to school. what happens when they meet?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 36,266 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 6/11/2015 - Published: 1/1/2009
Forbidden Melody by twiobsession14 reviews
Bella knows her senior year could be ruined. Mr. Cullen knows it just might end his career. But they'd rather sneak in the shadows than walk lonely in the sun. And they quickly discover it's not just the music pulling them to each other.AH teacher/student
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 118,620 - Reviews: 1182 - Favs: 994 - Follows: 1,041 - Updated: 1/3/2013 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ugh, Cullen by Seraphie17 reviews
Bella Swan and Edward Cullen hate each other. Fully fledged war between them, but is it just hiding their true feelings?. Story starts with the end-flashesback to the beginning. Bad language, adult themes and the incredible Edward Cullen are all included.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 51,456 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 477 - Follows: 456 - Updated: 7/30/2012 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Bella, Edward
Never play truth or dare with Emmett by Until Her Heart Stops reviews
Edward leaves to go hunting for a weekend.Bella is left with Emmett and Jasper what could possibly go wrong. When Edward comes back what will Bella be like? EXB foreva!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,977 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Lessons in Life by birningice reviews
When Haruhi is the victim of a beating and robbery, the Host club decides that she needs to learn to defend herself. With Hunny giving her lessons in martial arts new events begin to unfold. Sequel called Life Goes On.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 25,810 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 3/28/2012 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Haruhi F., Hunny/Honey/Mitsukuni H. - Complete
Dilemma by birningice reviews
The twins did something to anger Nekozawa, incurring his wrath. But the curse that was meant for them had some unexpected interference. Now who they are is not so certain. let's play which one is 'Kaoru' game!
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 15,870 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 3/28/2012 - Published: 11/20/2009 - Haruhi F., Hikaru H.
ILiveToHearYourVoice by Twilightgal97 reviews
DISCONTINUED. When Edward leaves Bella, her life takes an unusual twist.Victoria turns her into a vamp,she unlocks her powers,becomes a coven leader and finds her soul mate. But what happens when Edward returns? R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,421 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Bella, Edward
And the Winners Are by TheAppleofMyEyes reviews
There are two cliques at Forks High School, one has the football jocks and the slutty cheerleaders and the other has the other jocks and the dedicated cheerleaders. Edward Cullen and Bella Swan are the heads these two cliques...REST OF THE SUMMARY INSIDE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,108 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 8/29/2011 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Big Brother Cullen Style by SlightlyGayPirate reviews
Emmett gets the Cullens, the Denali coven and the Irish coven to make Big Brother. Aro makes up a tv station for vampires only, unaccessable to humans. How will the cullens react with the sudden notice? who will be Big Brother? who will win?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,955 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/21/2011 - Published: 5/1/2009
Talk about it by IamnotstalkinEdward reviews
Bella is tired of doing the same thing every night. After Breaking Dawn. R&R. Rated M because of language and some other stuff.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 38,600 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella's Thoughts by HDCullen reviews
Run to Rome, Peru , Egypt, Switzerland! Why? Because Jasper , Alice , and Emmett are picking on Bella in her sleep. Story better than summery. R&R. Please. Funny beyond belief.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 15,503 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 5/24/2011 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Red by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
Bella hated Edward, and Edward hated Bella. Or so she thought. Forced to work with him for the money, there's no escaping his anger, his resentment, and... his love. AH/AU EDITING IN PROGRESS: CHAPTER 1-4 DONE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,721 - Reviews: 3729 - Favs: 1,903 - Follows: 1,084 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
How To Get An A by The-May-Of-Brianna reviews
My Names Bella Swan, Mr Cullen is my creative writing teacher, he is perfection its self, to bad he cant stand my mere presence. Teacher Edward/Student Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 15,655 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 12/8/2010 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Revenge is Sweeter by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
After a very public break up in the school parking lot that involves Bella showing her underwear to the whole school, Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan declare war. Remaining friends with the ex? So not an option...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 44,935 - Reviews: 1926 - Favs: 650 - Follows: 566 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Bella's Back and Hotter Than Ever! by twilightlovers-danielle-yana reviews
Bella left forks 10 yrs ago. Now she is back and hotter than ever. What will her bestfriends think. Bestfriends and brother include: Jasper and Rosalie Hale, Alice Brandon, Emmett Swan and Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. All Human. Please read. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,888 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 7/2/2009
100 years later by Stefy101 reviews
This story happens during New Moon, But the story you know stops when Laurent meets Bella in the woods. What would happen if the werewolfs hadn't saved Bella? What if she had become a vampire without Edward. Worse: What if Edward found out,100 year later
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 38,938 - Reviews: 1615 - Favs: 731 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mercury by Oh Inverted World x reviews
Eclipse. The Batons move to Forks. They're not like others, with strange shifting eyes, and a secret no one knows. Not real werewolves, surely? How will them moving there affect the story? Emotions run high, plenty of scandal. Not a bad story. All canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 42,263 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Edward, Bella
Bella a Prankster! Who Figured! by StormysGirl11 reviews
What happens when Bella decides to play pranks on the Cullens? Will they laugh and let it slide or will they come back with vengeance? R&R First fan fic. Changed it to T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,165 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 7/17/2008
Every 28 Days by Surviving Sheika reviews
Bella's suffering from. . .feminine issues. What will Edward do? And the rest of the Cullen family? Read and find out! Rated T to be safe!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,084 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Bella - Complete
Be My Boyfriend for 5 Minutes by vampiregirl1654 reviews
Bella is miserable at a party where Mike won't leave her alone. She enlists the help of a hot stranger to be her boyfriend. Will their fake love blossom into true love?Maybe M later on. AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 19,950 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
You Are My Sunshine by nothingatlpersonal reviews
Bella Swan is a normal girl,living in a small coastal town.She loves to surf.One day,a new guy E.C moves to town,quickly hitting the surfing crowd.What will their first impressions be of each other?And what has Bella burried deep beneath the surface?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,544 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Prank Calls by oxoxTwilightloverxoxo reviews
Edward and the others left to go hunting Bella and Alice, are home alone, Join them as they prank call, The Cullens, The Wolves, Mike, Jessica, Lauren and many more!REVENGE IN STORE! SEQUEL NOW OUT! Prank War
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 59,300 - Reviews: 760 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Emmett, Bella
Boxers Or Briefs by passionfornight reviews
The most important question. Boxers Or Breifs?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,479 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 7/5/2006 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Double Dare by QuothTheRaven reviews
He pulled me even closer, so I was flush against him. Even in the cold of the night, I blushed. He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I dare you... to kiss me.” Rating may change. AU/AH E/B.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,466 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Edward, Bella
Hope Isabella Voultri by luvstobedazzled reviews
When Edward leaves what if Bella was changed by Victoria. What if the Voultri found her and she joins them? What will happen if the Cullens come back into her life? Will she forgive them?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,575 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Bella, Marcus
I dare you by XCarlie.CullenX reviews
Edward and Bella are roomies on a trip that will change everything they know at Forks high. Edward want Bella but Bella knows better.. Welcome to NYC, between the dares and scandals no wonder its the city that never sleeps. AH OCC. RATING CAN CHANGE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 33,726 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 3/4/2010 - Published: 5/28/2009
Reaching You by luvtrianglelover15 reviews
Bella is a tomboy who moves around a lot because of her fathers job. What will happen when she moves to Forks and meets Jacob as well as her English teacher, Edward? Obviously i don't own any of SM's characters or twilight. BxE-teacherXstudent,BxJ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 14,296 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Bet by Giselle2013 reviews
Alice and Edward have made a bet. Edward isn't allowed to touch Bella. Alice isn't allowed to go shopping. This story is filled with outrageous costumes, scheming vampires, bra's, and...strip clubs?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,981 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009
Just a Dream? by xKelsey reviews
Bella has nightmares most nights...who's it about? Can Edward help her? And is James still possibly alive? Suck at summeries...but fist fanfic! R&R Might continue depends! Rated T just in case! Disclamer: I don't own Twilight!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,646 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/2/2010 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Edward, Bella
A Kiss with a Side of Fries by luv2read134 reviews
Bella works at McDonald's. Take her job and throw in a gorgeous green-eyed customer, spilled fries, a fat lady, and a kiss, and you get the beginning of a hot romance. AH. B/E. Now Extended.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,913 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ever So Slightly Broken by sammy169 reviews
When Phil kills Bella's mother, she knows it's time to get out. She goes to Forks to stay with her father Charlie Swan. She thinks she has left all the danger behind, she would be wrong. B/E **NOT ALL HUMAN!** T for abuse, mentions of rape and language
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 47,678 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Adventures In Forks High by EmotionallyConfuzzled reviews
What will happen when Forks High School get's snowed in? With all of the Cullens in there! They Spend the night? Mike tries to be sexy for Bella? Edward loses control? Will Jasper have fun with emotions? Kareoke? Truth or Dare! One crazy night is ahead.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,749 - Reviews: 707 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 385 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009
The Lucky One by Beamqueen40 reviews
Bella is a six year old who is abused by her father and left to die till Carlisle saves her. The family wants to adopt her, but mut hide their secret till she's 16. Then she decides what she wants. BxE Story is better then summary!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 49,390 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Edward, Bella
Imaginary by SnappleApple450 reviews
This is an ode to JasperSAYSrelax128. Remembering the greatness of this person...this writer...this friend. She's done everything for me...this is my gift to her. I hope you love it Jen. The title is by Evanescence bcuz she created a whole world for me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,937 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Corrupting Bella by Emmett's-Luver reviews
What do Jasper, Bella, and Emmett do when everyone else is out hunting? Emmett desperately wants to corrupt his baby sister. All vampire.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,248 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Emmett, Bella
Help Me, Save Me by Not All Heroes Wear Capes reviews
When Edward left, he wanted Bella to have a vampire free life. But what if they weren't the only vampires interested in her? Her life is just one big disaster, but can the Cullens help her when she needs them most? When she is in a mental institution?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Supernatural - Chapters: 20 - Words: 141,927 - Reviews: 632 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 12/5/2009 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Bella, Edward
Emmett's Home Video's! by MangoTango450 reviews
Emmett, being Emmett, decided that he was bored one evening, so he got video cameras and started filming, but nothing awesome was going on, so he took things into his own hands and started pranking people! R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,546 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Emmett
Doing Time by crashedxhearts reviews
The Cullens and Bella go to jail! A little humor a little romance a little fluff. Hilarious misunderstandings... give it a shot!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 32,744 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Complete
Stay with me by Happygolucky9 reviews
Edward and Bella are friends. Edward wants to be more.Bella doesn't. Bella and the Cullens all have dark pasts. Except Bella is still living hers. Will she find the courage to leave or will it be too late? AH. BXE eventually.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,970 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Hard to Get by Padaleckiluv reviews
Bella never had an attraction for one Edward Cullen. But her friend Jessica did. When Jessica tries to win his attention Bella learns more about him than she wants. Mainly his attraction for HER. All Human
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 27,235 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 11/26/2009 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Camp Cullen by chefgirl4622 reviews
Bella's parents send her to a boot camp after an incident at home. Little did they know, it's an abusive bootcamp. Not only does Bella have to deal with the constant harrasment , but there's also the constant attraction to one of the camp leaders ...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 14,431 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I'm Not Dead Yet by TheGoodGirlMasquerade reviews
You all knew it would happen at some point. SnAp and I have started to kill off Twilight characters... Just laugh with us. A twisted sense of humor and boredom result in many one-shots by MangoTango450 and SnappleApple450. Welcome to our insane asylum!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,484 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 9/6/2009
The Waitress by TwiHard24 reviews
“It’s caviar,” I told her easily.A-dur.“I know that, but what is it?” she snapped. Well Miss Priss, I don’t really like your attitude.“Unborn fish spawn,” I told her just as she took a bite into it.One connecting door, 3 boys, and 3 girls. AH B/E A/J R/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,974 - Reviews: 519 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 10/18/2009 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
Who Spiked The Water Bottle? by epicbeast101 reviews
Stories about drunken Twilight characters. Somebody keeps spiking peoples water bottles. Random idea, rated T cuz I'm paranoid.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,241 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Jacob
Are You High? by manic ayla reviews
When Emmett brings home pot he bought in Seattle to see what happens, Edward freaks. But what happens when Bella decides that she wants to stay behind and see what happens next? Hilarity ensues I hope. My first fanfic. R&R, please! Author fake-out. Sorry.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,631 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/22/2009 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Dear Jasper by Bamberrr.x reviews
The True Story Behind Jasper Hale's Scars
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
Cullen Girl's Night Out by Blue Eyed Bookworm reviews
When Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Bella go out for a night on the town, who will they run into on a first date? Will the other Cullens be spying on them? And who's that guy in the turban? Read to find out! Rated T because I'm paranoid. UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,914 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/15/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009
A Story of All Things Random by PopItLikeAPopTart reviews
I'm sure here on fanfiction we can relate to having an extremely random mind. So basically, this is a random collection of little stories I thought of one day for whatever reason. No bias! There's plenty of making fun of every character! All humor!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,857 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 6/1/2009
What Happens in Detention by WereWolf1010 reviews
Six kids from totally different cliques wound up being together in detention. Can you just sense the drama? ExB JxA EmxR. All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 45,159 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 2/17/2009
Passing Gas, er, Notes by Anomaly-Anomaly reviews
Story is still up purely because I need to beta.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 3,317 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/27/2009 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
Truth or Dare a day with the Cullens by lizzyvamp1901 reviews
It all started with a game of Truth or Dare. Now, the Cullens will remember that summer for the rest of their eternal lives. WARNING This fanfiction includes Edward as a stripper, DETENTION, Jazz being eaten and Bella getting arrested... by Charlie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 33,338 - Reviews: 1827 - Favs: 1,038 - Follows: 506 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Water by valjanex reviews
Don't get sweet, innocent girls like Mitchie mad. Especially near water.
Camp Rock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Mitchie T., Shane G. - Complete
IT'S WAR! by TwilightEquestrian reviews
OUR FAVORITE COVEN IS BORED. IT'S A FULL OUT PRANK WAR THAT HAS VAMPIRE VS VAMPIRE, COUPLE VS COUPLE, ABD SOMTIMES EVEN COUPLE AGAINST THEMSELVES! ADD IN WEREWOLVES AND A HUMAN AND WE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE THE MOST INTERESTING WAR EVER FOUGHT!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 12,220 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/5/2009 - Published: 4/7/2009
Why Me? by StorytheBrave reviews
Emmett's left alone while the others are hunting, and Bella comes over. Bruises, accents, and more! Hilarity ensuse, will Bella survive...FUNNY It gets better after chapter 1, so continue, don't just read the first and forget about it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,908 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/2/2009 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Complete
Belladventure! by Kiara212 reviews
The Cullen's go to Africa, but everything turns to chaos! Jasper's mental, Carlisle and Alice with a camera is an impending disaster and why are those cannibals chasing them? There are a lot of adventures to be had in Africa! I don't own Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 44,379 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/2/2009 - Published: 11/10/2008
Marked for life by jess-luvs-music reviews
When Bella and her twin Jasper's parents die, there put in foster care. After 3 years of misery, one night of hell and abuse from Paul, there adopted and saved by Carlisle and Esme. But what happens when Paul comes back, and wants Bella back.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 38,620 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 7/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Two Different Types of Angels by call me your partner in crime reviews
Edward left, and Bella killed herself. She is now an angel and happens to run into the Cullens a couple years later. Will she accept Edward back into her life?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 20,135 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Everyday Edward by KatyCharles reviews
A series of stories peeking into Edward and Bella's everyday life. The good stuff that the books didn't have room for! Lazy afternoons, high school antics, etc. Romantic, fun, everything you love about ExB! All original context and pairings! Classic!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,429 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Bella, Edward
Did he just say Sex ED? by just-a-crazyfanpire reviews
A normal day, normal teachers, almost normal students. What could happen? But then appears in the schedule a new different course.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 43,546 - Reviews: 273 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The House In The Middle by MegaScene reviews
ALL HUMAN: Six teenagers are dared by classmates to spend 7 nights at the suppossdly haunted house 3 miles from the school. The teens eagerly take the bet, but what happens if the stories said are true...?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,801 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 7/2/2009 - Alice, Emmett - Complete
Trampoline Randomness by madmaddie09 reviews
Emmett and Bella are at the Cullen Mansion while the rest went hunting. Emmett goes outside to chill while Bella is inside, but when Bella hears springs, she goes outside and sees a trampoline. What will she and Emmett do? Bella has couple of ideas. R&R
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,984 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Bella, Emmett
What Words Were Just Spoken? by GWTWTNME reviews
A New Moon poem. I've never really put my poems out there, so constructive critisism AND NOT INSULTS are welcome :
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Bella - Complete
Camp Cullen by TwiHard24 reviews
Bella,Alice,and Rosalie are spending their summer at Camp Cullen. They meet some guys...will sparks fly or is that just Bella trying to burn holes in the back of Edward's head? It's an all out prank war. Who will win and what's really the prize?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 44,391 - Reviews: 981 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 10/18/2008
Crazy by xXMythical-Midnight-SunXx reviews
Alice accidently gives Bella some medicine that doesn't just help her headache, she gets super hyper! Smetime in Eclipse.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 791 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/11/2009
A day with Jasper by SimplyKey reviews
Edward agrees for bella to spend some time with Jasper after they get back from Italy. They go from just talking to biking to running and meeting another coven! What will J%B's adventure led them to? Bro/sis bonding time! R&R must be review to get updated
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,217 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Coffee and a Kiss by luv2read134 reviews
EPOV of "A Kiss with a Side of Fries". All Edward wants is a cup of coffee. He walks into a McDonald's and sees a beautiful brown-haired girl behind the counter. Add spilled fries, a fat lady, and a lot of chemistry, and you get one hot kiss. Now Extended
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,500 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Think of You by AlexaSinead reviews
Bella and Edward had been friends for a while, but what happens when she tells his her real feeling for him? What would she do when she finds he did the next day? Read and find out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,558 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/4/2009 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Alice and Edward's Cafeteria Fight! by No Sympathy For The Dead reviews
What happens when Edward threatens to ruin all of Alice's clothes one day at lunch in the school cafeteria? Will Edward be able to escape Alice's wrath? Read to find out!OOC/BPOV/Now also available in APOV! Please R/R
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,685 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Edward, Alice
Acceptance by wild-lili reviews
The bookworm,the jock, the queen bee,the punk,the nonconformist,and the player secretly they all wanted one thing-Acceptance. What happens when six very different people are thrust together by fate? Read to find out!All human.Rated T just to be safe!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,205 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Complete
Emmett's Mistake by MangoTango450 reviews
The first time she sits with Edward at lunch, things go differently from there.She accidently "finds out" about them from Emmett!You wont believe the idiocy is that a word? of Emmett in my story! Caution:may cause uncontrollable laughter!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 23,125 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/12/2009 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Emmett, Bella
Wrapped Around Her Little Finger by Grace Cullen reviews
Edward finds 4 year old Bella lost in the forest, and he becomes her best friend but when she moves and comes back 13 years later she meets Tanya who has set her eye on Edward and will eliminate anyone who ruins her chances with him, which means Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 34,485 - Reviews: 928 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
a unicorned twilight by 7andthefluff reviews
charlie the unicorn and twilight cast
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,950 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Jacob, Edward
BEEP by vampirechick123 reviews
Bella punishes Edward with no kisses for a day. Edward tries really hard to get her to kiss him. Now put Alice into the equation and you have brilliance ...just fluffy fluff R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 39,749 - Reviews: 1990 - Favs: 954 - Follows: 580 - Updated: 4/23/2009 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Back In Town by Aleatoire reviews
Breaking Dawn Spoilers! All of the Cullens are back in Forks after eighty years. Some things have stayed the same, but most has changed. When someone from their past shows up, questions are thrown right and left - will the future be jeopardized?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,422 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/19/2009 - Published: 9/18/2008 - Edward, Bella
What'cha willing to do? by crazy person alert reviews
when Emmet plays a prank, what will Edward do? Ya don't know, cuz you haven't read it. Sequal/Compinion to 'what would you do for a klondike bar'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,541 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/3/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Edward, Bella
Vampire Bella Goes to School by tammyxcullen reviews
Bella goes to school as a vampire.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,975 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 118 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Go Ask Alice by Ember411 reviews
Funny. Just read.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Blood Of A Mermaid Running Through My Veins by Morine123 reviews
Bella is a mermaid and Edward is a vampire. They both know that they can't be together but is that enough to keep them apart? Told in both Edward and Bella's point of view. AU. T in case, not that bad though. ExB. Now complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,788 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Lollipop by Loveonawirex reviews
Alice has a vision that she gets to fulfill her wedding plans for Bella and Edward, is in an obnoxiously hyper mood, has a something stuck in her head that annoys the hell out of Edward, and lands Emmett in some serious trouble. Oneshot. Humor.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,445 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Yankee Pot Roast by rubiesandrain reviews
A funny story. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Complete
Things You Should Never Do by Sadness-is-Beautiful reviews
50 things you should never, ever, ever do, as demonstrated by the good people...and vampires...and werewolves...of Forks.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 8,852 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 3/1/2007
Hot Chocolate by Angel Ren reviews
Sequel to Butterfly Kisses: Is it time for revenge? Edward Cullen, Snowballs, Bella Swan, Snowangels, Vampires and Hot Chocolate! Whatever is a girl to do? Pure Fluff! Note: Set after Eclipse mild spoilers!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,346 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 41 - Published: 9/4/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hidden Memories by blackirises reviews
AU.edward left. bella attacked & changed. but what if she and the cullens meet again 10 years later and she doesnt remember her human life? will love conquer all? what is victoria planning? RxR. first fanfic. ON TEMPORARY HIATUS WHILE I EDIT & FINISH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 64,617 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 8/17/2007 - Published: 5/7/2007
The Car by Elliptic Lullaby reviews
Bella is the one thing Edward holds most dear. She is his life, his love, his everything. Still, everyone knows how much he LOVES his Volvo. When Bella's accident on black ice badly damages the Volvo, how far will she go to make sure he doesn't find out?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,979 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/10/2007 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
Most Likely To by Midnightpopcorn reviews
I wrote this while I was bored. OneShot. What does Edward write that everyone is Most Likely To... in the yearbook? Rated K, but I did swear once, so if that bothers you...:P May become a twoshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Complete
Costume Party by KismetHappens reviews
The high school is having a costume party, and Bella is making Edward go. But why is he so unwilling?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Things a Vampire Can’t Do reviews
A series of VERY FUNNY one-shots of things our favorite vampires can't do. Set in Eclipse. Brought to you by JasperSAYSrelax128 writer of "Oops, he did it again!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,383 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Complete
The Good Left Undone reviews
Sequel to "Player Haters". Bella and the Cullens are starting college, and having the time of their lives......until students start to go missing. Will Bella's past have anything to do with it? ALL HUMAN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 45,062 - Reviews: 1328 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Complete
The Gift of One Liners and the Curse of Curves reviews
Demetri was always the famous lady’s man in the Volturi. Good-looks, poise, courteous, and one of the most deadly killers our world held. But what he didn’t expect to find on a mission was one of his most life-altering discoveries. A girl.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,838 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Demetri
The Black Parade reviews
When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city, to see a marching band. He said, "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?" He said "Because one day I'll leave you, to join the Black Parade." fullsum
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 21,155 - Reviews: 808 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Edward, Bella
Seeing Crimson reviews
Bella was kidnapped by the Volturi in Eclipse, and now she's a vampire with no memory of her human life and so powerful she can kill any. What happens when her new assignment is to recrute a certain mindreader and future seeing vampire?FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,615 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/10/2009
Prayer of the Refugee reviews
Sequel to Feel Good Drag. Bella is living life good, racing, hot boyfriend, nice friends...until she wins a yellow Camero in a drag race, and Bella’s life is plummeted into an unknown world of transformers as the race begins. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,294 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 9/20/2009
Poetry reviews
Poems written about when Edward left in New Moon. Bella's POV. I may possibly add more poems later on from different character's POV's.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,649 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/28/2009
Player Haters reviews
Edward and Bella have been bickering since kindergarten. He's a player, and she is his sister's best friend. What happens when they discover their true feelings for each other, right before it all ends? ALL HUMAN! FUNNY!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,549 - Reviews: 907 - Favs: 640 - Follows: 212 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Paradise Lost reviews
Sequel to My Black Dahlia. Bella has been broken, hurt, pained, lied to...but now, she’s trapped. As a result of her transformation being corrupted by an unknown source, Bella’s powers were catapulted into chaos—trapping her in mirrors.FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,640 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
Oops, he did it again! reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3136 - Favs: 1,754 - Follows: 588 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
My Black Dahlia reviews
When Edward left Bella in New Moon, she became a drug/cutting addict. She is sent to Rehab, but what if her doctor, who is supposed to help her get better, is the reason she's there? Will she except help from Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 31,571 - Reviews: 1059 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Misguided Ghosts reviews
He was the most caring, wonderful, loving boyfriend anyone could have...until he turned into a vampire. Now my only hope of escaping....is if I die. "Would someone care to clissify? a broken heart and twisted minds, so I can find someone to rely on."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
It All Started With a Comment reviews
Sequel to "Oops, he did it Again!" Funny One-shots of crazy, hilarious, insanely awesome incidents that all started...with a comment. All Vampire, no Renemesmee, Wolves may show up later.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,328 - Reviews: 736 - Favs: 421 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/11/2009
I Know I'll Wake Soon reviews
Two-shot about when Alice and Bella race to save Edward in Volterra. Bella is ordered to die, and Edward and Alice protect her, and end up dying in front of her. Will there be an afterlife after all?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,583 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hunger reviews
My version of the next book. Shelby wants revenge. Shelby’s happy ending was corrupted when Grace came into the picture, now Grace’s ending will be destroyed. While Grace tries to fight off Shelby, can she fight off the cold that once plagued Sam?
Shiver, Maggie Stiefvater - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Grace, Sam
How To Fight Like a Pirate reviews
Crossover Pirates of the Caribbean.Isabella Swann is the daughter of Elizabeth.Jack comes, and Elizabeth is needed for as Pirate King.What happens when he takes Bella instead?she meets a beautiful bronze-haired man of course!FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,052 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/25/2009
Feel Good Drag reviews
Bella is one of the top street racers in Arizona. But when a recent race ends up in a police chase, Renee sends her to live with Charlie in Forks. What happens happens when she discovers an underground racing site, and meets new friends? SUMMARY INSIDE AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,450 - Reviews: 1279 - Favs: 793 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Don't Forget reviews
Bella was changed into a vampire in New Moon when searching for the meadow. Now she has a new family and awesome powers and moves back to Forks....and runs into a certain family. Will they get along? Pranks! REALLY funny!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,715 - Reviews: 645 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Complete
Diaries of a Phoenix reviews
I was brought back into this world by accident.....but I’m still here for a reason. My resurrection wasn’t expected.....but neither was my murder. Now I’m looking for them. I’m looking for my murderer.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,516 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 12/27/2009
ACTION! reviews
Funny Takes...making fun of the Twilight MOVIE! HILARIOUS! Seriously....read if you want to laugh.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,151 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/3/2009
A Lesson in Charades reviews
Don’t Forget SEQUEL. Bella is finally marrying Edward, until she is kidnapped before she makes it to the Altar by 4 vampires that take an interest in her. When Alice can’t SEE them, how will they save Bella in time before she is betrothed to another? AV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,307 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/13/2009
Vampire or Werewolf? reviews
Edward and Jacob switch bodies for a day....Will they be able to handle Edward in a werewolf body, and Jacob in a Vampire body? What does Bella think?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,921 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Complete
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