dragonsfire295
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Joined 04-10-09, id: 1895977, Profile Updated: 11-22-11
Author has written 6 stories for Pokémon, Digimon, X-Men, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Warriors.

Dragonsfire295

Real Name: M.J. McCallops

Born: February 27 1994

Height: 6'0

Weight: 145 lbs about

Gender: Male

Race: half Human half dragon

From: Cleveland Ohio

Favorite Color: Blue just look at the color of my Avatar I chose that one so people could know my favorite animal the dragon and my favorite color

Now have a joint account with Jio Uzumaki called spiral dragon inc.

address: huh

social security #: are you just trying to make me give you the info you need to steal my identity

Favorite Characters: Naruto, Sakura, Sonic, Shadow, Inuyasha, Pikachu, Superman, Batman, Robin

least favorite characters: Charmy, any spongebob characters, any characters from nik jr., toon disney or pbs kids

Favorite food: Cookies!!

Favorite songs: Relentless Chaos (Miss May I), Rooftops (Lostprophets), Peice of Me (Skid row), Slave to The Grind (Skid Row), Cowboys From hell (Pantera), Walk (Pantera), Whole Lotta Love (Led Zeppelin), Good Life (3 Days Grace), Break (3 Days Grace), Never To Late (3 Days Grace), Alive (P.O.D.), Crawling (Linkin Park), Ready Set Go (Tokio Hotel), and Runaway (Bon Jovi)

Quote I use: Anything can be solved by setting something on fire, The Letter Q (Somehow became some sort a catchphrase of mine)

Here is a link to a new website http:///AntiFanFiction/index.php VISIT IT!!!!!!!!

Stories I'm workin on (I'm not going to be able to update for a while because of college prep)

Sonic Xtreme truth or dare posted in progress

your basic truth or dare fic with the fangirl pit and closet and the whatever do whatever you want to them deleted by site (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!)

Posted again read it until it gets deleted again

Once again deleted but is on antifanfiction here's the link http:///AntiFanFiction/index.php?showtopic=18

No longer working on this story.

Pokemon Jhoto adventures

Story of Michael Murphy traveling through Jhoto with his Eevee.

Digimon Next Evolution

Three young people and their digimon trying to save the digital world from the monster known as Merumon.

Future X

The future of the X-men.

Sonic Universe

My follow-up to the events of Sonic SatAM. (I'm no longer writing this but I'll leave it on the site)

Warriors a new beginning

Follow Moonpaw on his journey to become a warrior.

Two Choices

What would you do?...you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about posting this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people who read your profile who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Ignore

2. Copy into your profile to pass on to the world

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Don't flame I prefer constructive criticism.

Copy and paste shit

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination. Come to the dark side (we have cookies.) And cookies are yummy!!

If you joined the Dark Side because we have cookies, copy and paste this into your profile

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money: Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. (Reason I joined) I'm just evil... It fits my personality!

99.5 percent of people would cry if the jonas brothers fell of a skyscraper.
copy and paste this if your one of the 0.5 people that would literally PUSH THEM OFF!!

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)(see I care, I'm not completely heartless -)

STOP DRUNK DRIVING!!

I went to a birthday party,

And remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink at all,

So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,

That I didn't choose to drink and drive,

Though some friends said I should.

I knew I made a healthy choice and,

Your advice to me was right,

As the party finally ended,

And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my own car,

Sure to get home in one piece,

Never knowing what was coming,

Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,

"The kid that caused this wreck was drunk."

His voice seems far away.

My own blood is all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.

I can hear the paramedic say,

"This girl is going to die."

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high,

Because he chose to drink and drive,

That I would have to die.

So why do people do it,

Knowing that it ruins lives?

But now the pain is cutting me,

Like a hundred stabbing knives

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom

Tell daddy to be brave,

And when I go to heaven,

Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,

That it's wrong to drink and drive.

Maybe if his mom and dad had,

I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,

I'm getting really scared.

These are my final moments,

And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,

As I lie here and die.

I wish that I could say,

I love you and good-bye.

DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!! If you too are against drunk driving, add this to your profile and add your name to the bottom.

~NoOnesGal1848, Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, Nami Hyuga, Akatsuki Girls942, Tonni88, Burakkuya, Jio Uzumaki, Dragonsfire295

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are a massive Linkin Park fan, copy and paste this into your profile

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile

you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...) EverD, (When I did it, my friends said I defied physics. I don't know why though...), Jenova Remnant (afterwards, my friends called the event the floor hug), DestinyGamer(don't ask...) CommodoreZelda13 (Yeah, I'm a freak. Deal with it) Mysticyoshie(At school with all my books) The Sage of Spirits, zigyy553 (I was thinking about pie.),(Was running from being late...funny but freaky though...Dont ask) Fallen-Ryu, Jio Uzumaki (I don' pay attention and i can't finish...I'm hungry), Dragonsfire295 (I was eating pizza while running I lost my pizza and that made me sad I was very hungry and I walked feeling very sad the rest of the way home )(going to school i have a short attention span what am i typing now i'm hungry ooooo pretty)

YOU KNOW YOUR OBSESSED WITH XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN WHEN..

You call a Xiaolin Showdownoverthe remote with your younger sibling.

You mutter "Wuya" Under your breath everytime your teacher gives you a bad grade.

Your afraid to eat Jellybeans because your afraid a evil one will hop out at you.

Everytimeyou see a bald guy you yell out "Hey, Omi!".

Every blue ball you see you call the Orb of Tornami.

You jump off a cliff, thinking that you will land on Dojo.

You jump off again, thinking he missed.

You do it a third time, this time holding a pair of fairy wings, and calling them the Wings of Tinabi.

You blame Chucky Choo that the Wings don't work.

You call every Yo-yo your family Yo-yo.

When you talk about Xiaolin showdown your friends and family run.

When Xiaolin Showdown comes on, you turn off every little light, turn the volume on high, and sit like a moron.. staring at the tv.

When you see a old bald guy you call him Master Fung.

You call Geckos Dojo.

You cuss out Avatar for "Copying" Xiaolin Showdown.

Everytime you see a cowboy you smile and call him Clay.

Every short Japanese girl you see you chase after, ranting about Raikim.

You grab a penny, jump off the cliff AGAIN, and call out "Mantis Flip Coin!"

You again blame Chucky Choo.

Your put on a chocker you call the Gills of Himachi, and try to breath under water.

You cuss out Chucky Choo when you come back from the hospital.

You sit and stare at pictures of Omiand havechats with him.

Everytimeyou bite into a cheese ball, you say "Take that, Omi!"

You call your brother's journal the Ancient Guide to Females.

You call all bald guys Sexist.

You nod your head at everything Katokat has wrote.

You repost this in your profile.

If you want a fourth season of Xiaolin Showdown then put this in your profile. (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!)

If you're a fan of RAIKIM, put this in your profile! (IF YOU AREN'T, YUR CRAZY!)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! (crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

If you think those kids should just give the Trix Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile! (it's just cereal, give it to the rabbit!)

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull th pulled e handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile (I have done this so many times, it's unbelieveable!)

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile (WEEEEEEE!)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. (Who hasn't done this before!)

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D (too many smileys can be evil!)

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile (SUGAR HIGH!)

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile (fucking mosqitoes!)

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile (preps should be illegal)

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.(stupid ppl!)

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. (I would probably be, in one word, preppy. shudders)

If you haveever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (xiaolin showdown and harry potter. even my family is scared of me! hehehe!)

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile (Faith is good)

There's nothing wrong witharguing withyourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (that happens to me, alot.)

if you hate RaiJack, copy this to your profile. (That is messed up)

if you hate JackKim, copy this to your profile.(Again messed up)

If you are a fan of KimiClay well go f# your self if your a RaiKim fan copy and paste this in your profile

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

if you ever wanted to kill someone copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever had an urge to throw yourself off of a banister on a stairway, copy this in to your profile

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy this onto your profile

If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and paste this if you have been hit by a car before (they hurt you should know)

Things to do while in Wal-mart

1. throw skittles at people and say, "Taste the freakin' rainbow!"

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15.Grab a lotof bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that guy/girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

If you support the "Kamina" or "Naruto is notgay" movement copy and paste this to your profile. Damn you Yaoi Fangirls.

If you think Hinata is a useless piece of crap. Copy and paste this to your profile

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisudessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury'speanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

If you ever cussed out a cartoon charactor for dying, copy and paste this to your profile (Kamina, WHY!)

If you've ever cussed out a character for not dying, copy and paste this shit to your profile BIYATCH(Die And you Hinata da Stalka)

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have NO SOUL!!

If you don't do drugs ,copy/paste this into your profile

Something to think about:

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:

Each morning your bank would deposit $ 86,400.00 in your private account for your use.

However, this prize had rules, just as any game has certain rules.

The first set of rules would be :-

Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you. You may not simply transfer money into some other account. You may only spend it.

Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $ 86,400.00 for that day.

The second set of rules:

The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, “It’s over, the game is over!” It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right? Not only for yourself, but for all people you love ? Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY, THIS GAME IS REALITY!!

Each of us is in possession of such a “magical” bank...we just can’t seem to see it.

THE MAGICAL BANK IS TIME!

Each awakening morning we receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life,

and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.

What we haven’t lived up that day is forever lost...yesterday is forever gone.!!

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time…….

WITHOUT WARNING. !!

WELL, what will you do with your 86,400 seconds? Aren’t they worth so much more than the same amount in dollars? Think about that, and always think of this:--Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, and enjoy life!

Here’s wishing you a wonderfully beautiful day.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

teachers are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't haveto bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin

"You know, I do notthink that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it."

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

SARCASM is just another free service I offer.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes I just don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may notreturn alive.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.

Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?

I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?

Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V.

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

I'm the person your mother warned you about.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already

If you ever ran into a sliding glass door because you didn't know it was there, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver -_-

· How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place?

5 Truths of Life~

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... (Idiot!)

5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face.

Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate day, copy this onto your profile. (Arr, who hasn't?)

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

8 Ways To Prepare Your Pets For War

Arm all kittens with samurai swords.
Cats are natural predators. Combine these instincts with ancient weaponry and you'll have an unstoppable soldier.

Mini jet turbine + Butcher knife + Parakeet = FLYING KILLING MACHINE!! DIE, EVERYONE, DIE!!

The speed and agility of a bunny makes them ideal for special ops.

Disguise your dog as a panzer tank.
The enemy will not know the difference.

Use hamsters to sneak grenades into enemy territory
Be sure to high five your hamster after a successful attack.

Cats lack compassion and empathy, which makes them ideal for leadership. Promote your kitties to generals as soon as you can.

Hamsters love 50 calibers.

Use biological weapons.
Feed your dog enough junk food and he'll fart lethal nerve gas.

Ninety-fivepercent of the kids out there are concerned withbeing popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, EcoliandDahChihuahua, Flower of the Desert, SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl, Mitsukai Tsubasa,Gforcemember45, Zillah 91, Onix Attack, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx, Espiowarrior,Haze the Chameleon, somepersonoutthere,Alexia the hedgehog, Rainbow the hedgefox, Bekah the Hedgehog, JoAnne the Fox, Dragonsfire295

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy and paste this into your profile.

If you randomly start singing when people say certain words, copy this into your profile.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Give me a Kiss.

Girl: There, Now would you Slow Down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him and give him one last kiss. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

If you're disgusted by the way most teenagers are acting nowadays, then copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

stupid things that people do. (bold the ones that you have done))

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself (In sixth grade)
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand (My flash drive)

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull (All the time)
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push (All the time)
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard (It was Pepsi)
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name (My own brother actually)
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door (Who hasn't)
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it (I looked for a half hour)
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock (12:23 o'clock)
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside (What I love the rain)
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else (I thought it was my uncle)
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on (Than walked to school)
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in (My T.V.)
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard (Both)
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house (And wen't to school like that)
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence (I talk so fast sometimes, It's hard to remember weather I've said something or not cuz I talk so fast..)
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions (Well I did get extra credit)
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb (It hurt like hell)
73. Ran into a door jam (WEEE)
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out (My arm hair to see if it would hurt)
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off (On my brothers hair for a joke and made him pull it out)
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone (Doesn't everyone)
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98.When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.
101. Have looked for the milk... in the dryer. (Well actually the washing machine)

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (That ones true)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I like YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I'm NOT OBSESSING over some male celebrity like other girls so I MUST be a freak.
I'm a TOMBOY so I must be a TRANSEXUAL.

Who doesn't like to copy and paste crap

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your princess.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps her and brings her to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Boy drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

I found this on another account.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? And also, whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Dont leave me just yet! If you've read everything here, heres a cookie and one more copy/paste!

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are insane, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, copy/paste this into your profile.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

ways to toruture and/or annoy Sonic charicters:

Shadow: make him watch every annoying toddler show ever.

Sonic: put cement in his shoes when he isn't looking then, show him that now, a slug goes faster than him.

Espio: tell him that ninjas suck and pirates are better.

Charmy: tell him you know where Vector hides a whole lot of candy... but don't tell him where.

Vector: make him watch "Blue's Clues" to prove that his detective skills are lame.

Tails: Tie him down and tell him that Charmy has the X-Tornado.

Knuckles: tie him down and make him watch the Master Emerald get destroyed.

Cream: make her eat Cheese (her pet chao) and after she's done, tell her what the meat she just ate was.

Amy: tie her down and make her watch a video of Sonic getting killed by Mephiles over and over.

Silver: call him a psycho and say "I told ya so" when he freaks out about it.

Blaze: take her to the north pole.

Big: make him eat Froggy.

Mephiles: carve a jack-o-lantern smile where his mouth should be.

Cosmo: make her watch "how it's made: paper"

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you like fire, setting stuff on fire, and just get a kick out of fire copy and paste this on to your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Prowers by Cory the Hedgehog reviews
Why IS JoAnne's phone covered with Sonic stickers? Can DIllan learn to be humble? Will Sir CHarles get his tea and biscuits? Why am I asking you? Let's ask...MARY SUE RECOLOR!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,484 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Sonic
Kids AGAIN! by Charge the Cat reviews
Joint fic with Freya the hedgehog 23. When the Sonic team are toddlerified AGAIN, it's up to Charge and Freya to keep 'em safe while figuring out how to get them back to normal. Set in the StarVix baby universe. OC'S WELCOME! I'LL TRY TO FIT THEM IN!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,584 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/14/2010 - Published: 8/9/2010
Total Sonic Action by Cory the Hedgehog reviews
Who's ready for more torture? Brought to you by your insane game host, JoAnne the Fox/ COry the Hedgehog. Send in your fan characters for a chance to win 1 million rings!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,027 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010
Sonic Solitary by Cory the Hedgehog reviews
Prower Game Shows presents: Solitary! Who's ready for more fancharacter torture and random comedy? Then send in your charries for the chance to win 500,000 rings!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,279 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010
So You Think You Can Dance Mobius by Charge the Cat reviews
10 characters and 4 soon-to-come OC's compete for 150,000 rings. Who will be crowned Mobius' best dancer? Stay tuned to find out! Host is Charge the Cat. Judges are to be determined. Rated K for lyrics. I need songs, contestants and judges, people! R&R!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,938 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 5/9/2010
Total Sonic Island by Cory the Hedgehog reviews
FINAL CHAPTER! Sorry for not having it be any longer...
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,924 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/5/2010 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Sonic
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Pokemon Mysterious Journeys
Two friends find themselves transformed and stranded in this strange world.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/17/2013
Warriors: A new beginning reviews
The story of Moonpaw from the start of his training to when he's a warrior.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 909 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/9/2011
Sonic Universe
A follow-up to the second season of Sonic SatAM
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,102 - Published: 5/3/2011 - Sonic, Sally
Future X
The next chapter in the x-men saga
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,226 - Updated: 11/4/2010 - Published: 11/1/2010
Digimon Next Evolution reviews
Three kids and they're new friends the digimon fight to save the Digital World
Digimon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,814 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 7/27/2010
Pokemon Johto Adventures reviews
The story of Michael Murphy going across Johto in his attempt to become the greatest Pokemon trainer ever
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 431 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/2/2010