Author has written 10 stories for Discworld, and Criminal Minds.
HI!! Mainly, I'll be writing for Criminal Minds, Discworld and maybe a few others. I prefer to write humor, because I'm better at them than at anything else, but there might occassionaly be a little fluff :) If anyone has a request for a fic you want me to write, message me and I'll see what I can do :) I'm not exactly the most normal person in the world, so please don't get too annoyed with me :)
12/10/2010:Okay, I've been hoping for inspiration to strike me for quite a while now, but guess what? It hasn't. It's been requested that I do a fic involving Susan and Teatime, and another involving Vlad and Agnes. I think they're great ideas, but I have no inspiration. PM me with a prompt, and I'll do my best to write something for it :) Even if it doesn't involve these characters...
UPDATE: Hey, I've just uploaded 2 new Discworld stories called "What Sergeant Frinklin Did When he was 11" and "Perfection". Please review, I'm getting depressed. Also, I have just created a new forum called "All Things Spencer Reid". Feel free to drop by and visit, because there's no one there right now...
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME!
Ocupation: Still at school, hyper-happy-goth :)
Likes: Chocolate, Criminal Minds, reading, watching TV, being hyper...:P
Dislikes: Annyoing people, being angry
My favourite authors are:
Terry Pratchett (Discworld books)
Christopher Paolini (Eragon books)
Garth Nix (Keys to the Kingdom books)
Angie Sage (The Septimus Heap series)
My favourite TV shows are:
Ashes to Ashes
I probably wont be able to write very often, but when I do I'll try to write as much as I can.
I'm currently still at school and one of my favourite hobbys is reading Terry Pratchett books, but only the Discworld ones.
I used to write all the time when I was little, but I don't get much chance to now, but I still read avidly. I've had alot of
what could be concsidered trauma in my life, which is my reason for at least most of my fics being funny (or at least, I
try to make them funny :P). I'm a very random person, as my friends at school often tell me, so be warned, I may appear
very different all the time, it just depends what type of mood I'm in. Anyway, I can't think of anything else right now, so
I'll shut up for the minute :)
Okay, I've recently been in contact with Yoshino in the Moonlight, who has asked me to post this. They have created a forum
for all things fanfiction. Please visit this forum, as it's really good :) The link is (You'll have to copy and
paste, the link isn't working when you click on it
UPDATE!! I've went through and deleted alot of my profile, and got it kind of organized :) There's lots of stuff gone :( But it's shorter now! :)
This is all serious stuff about social issues, so please read it. If you don't want to, feel free to skip to the bottom of the page to find my stories.
PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!
Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms
If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!
~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.
-- - --ρυт тнιѕ
-- -- --σи υя
-- -- --page ιf
-- -- --уυ киσω
-- - --ѕυмσиє
-- --ωнσ ∂ιє∂
-- - --of
-- -- --cancer
Miss you so much :( Love you always
I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, torchwoodfanx3, PyroFairyGirl, robinhoodlover, GOTHGIRLREID
Okay, from this point out, this is just random stuff, so if you don't want to read it, please skip ahead to the bottom of the page to my stories :)
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
(\ _ /)
This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually...
3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. You got that right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "Life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I still be standing here?
One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Rest In Peace, my old friend.
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
ONE FOR THE GIRLS!!:
(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN
(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
One bright morning...
In the middle of the night,
Two dead boys went out to fight.
There they stood, back to back,
And faced each other,
Drew their swords
And shot eachother.
The deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came running to kill
The two dead boys.
If u dont believe my tale,
I swear its true,
Ask the blind lady she saw it too!
-People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
-It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
-They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
-Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
-A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
-I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
-If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
-Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is spent teaching them to sit down and shut up.
-Everything here is eatable. Even me, but that my children is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies.
-I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!
-My mother told me never to talk to strange people. I never talk to myself, parents, of friends anymore.
-If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.
List twelve of your characters from your fandoms, in no particular order.
1. Abby Sciuto
2. Patrick Jane
3. Ziva David
4. Angua Von Uberwald (Don't even ask)
5. Leroy Jethro Gibbs
6. Carrot Ironfoundersson (Again, don't even ask)
7. Spencer Reid
8. Teresa Lisbon
9. Tony Dinozzo
10. Emily Prentiss
11. Jenny Shepard
12. Timothy McGee
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
Carrot and Jenny? No, but it could be interesting...
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Is Angua hot? Erm, yes, despite the fact we're both women. She can turn into a wolf!
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Lol, McGee getting Lisbon pregnant? Plausible, and could be quite interesting to see Abby and Jane's reactions :P Lisbon would probably kill McGee
4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
Fics about Tony...Alot. Mainly they have him paired with Ziva, but not many just about him.
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Deadpan face Jane and Carrot. Posibly, but if that happened I would die, so no. Just no.
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Gibbs/Tony or Gibbs/Prentiss. Hmm, I'd have to say Gibbs/Tony :P Would just be funny.
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Reid walking in on Jane and McGee having sex. Erm, not a clue. He'd probably blush and leave the room.
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Hmm, Ziva and Prentiss fic. "Two women, totally different, can they learn to get along when their lives depend on it?"
9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Abby and Lisbon fluff? Probably not.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Reid and McGee..."The Day the Geeks Lost" :S That's rubbish...
11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Lisbon songfic? Lol, perfect song grins evilly "I Got Nerve" - Hannah Montana :P
12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Abby/Carrot/Mcgee? Erm, "T" at most. I can't (won't) write explicit.
13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
A Gibbs fic? Five minutes ago
Okay, that's it :) Feel free to take stuff from here :)