Poll: add anyone else to the harem?i will add top 3, maybe more later Vote Now!
Author has written 1 story for Naruto.
"Why Do Boys Fall in Love with Girls?"
1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.
3. How cute they look when they sleep.
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
6. How cute they are when they eat.
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8. Because they are always warm even when it's minus 30 outside.
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.
11. How cute they are when they argue.
12. The way her hand always finds yours.
13. The way they smile.
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight.
15. The way she says "Let's not fight anymore," even though you know that an hour later...
16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you."
18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it.)
23. The way they say "I miss you."
24. The way you miss them.
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...
26. The way that she looks almost always happy around you.
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them, it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world, they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.
This chain started in 2002. It is a love chain letter.
In an hour you are supposed to repost this. Now here comes the fun part. You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!
A good or best friend!
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, freak?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance money.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
You have problems if:
you skip/run/walk/jump around your house singing "I love rape"
you randomly jump up from the computer and start dancing from excitement
your greatest dream is to have a massive orgy
you stay up half the night doing illegal things
torture/the thought of torture makes you happy/excited/laugh
you've ever discussed making a new version of the bible
you wake up in the morning thinking about hurting people
you karate chop milk
you think small cartons of juice, small pill bottles, or small screwdrivers are cute.
If you agreed to any of the above, congratulations, you're a little bit as unstable as I am. If you're damn proud of that fact, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: NARUHAREM FOREVA, Mizuki Yagami, danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox,kagome yuna's daughter, Justified Assasin, Haruka-Hime, sunstar Kitsune, Penneay7...
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you don't believe this statistic, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done!
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."
I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
If you have ever read someones profile just for the "copy and paste this into you profile" thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever made one of those "copy and paste this into you profile" thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: NARUHAREM FOREVA, Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu, King Hawke, Mizuki Yagami
If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think Masashi Kishimoto screwed up the Naruto: Shipuuden, copy and paste this into your profile.
If hate breeds more hate, then wear rubber and hate all you want.
Who says beggars can't be choosers? I could've just robbed you.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and then laugh at people while they try to figure out how you did it.
Whoever came up with "sticks and stones", obviously didn't take into account the viciousness of todays youth.
If at first you don't succed, blame it on bad parenting.
If at first you don't succed, get rid of all the evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succed, try not to act so surprised, then rub it in.
If you think it's unfair Deidara committed suicide to kill Sasufag and think Sasuke's a god-modder who deserves that nickname, copy and paste this into your profile.
if you have crazy psychopathic dreams of world domination join me and copy this into your profile
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! (I know, I'm a total loon.)
Naruto fanfics are over populated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu. If you believe me put this on your profile.
95 Percent of teens would have a breakdown if The Jonas Brothers were standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 who would bring a lawn chair and popcorn!!
97 percent of the fanfiction community like emo, weird, shy, stalker, fangirls (Hinata!) If your part of the three percent that wants to jab a pencil through her eye, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise verse copy this into your profile
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile(Kara Hitame)
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you think that Mickey mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar then copy this onto your profile.
If you think that those god-for-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.
If you think that I'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.
If you think the purple teli-tubie is related to Michel Jackson post this onto your profile.
If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.
If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.
Last night, as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the fuck is my ceiling?"
My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?
Lincoln's Gettysburg address had 266 words, The Ten Commandments has 296 words. The U.S. Department of Agriculture setting the price of cabbage has 15,296 words.
If I won't be myself, who will?
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
How beautiful it is to do nothing then rest after wards.
Violence is always the answer, if it doesn't work then you simply haven't used enough of it
NON RELATED OMAKE: MADARA'S BIG MISTAKE.
It had finally happened. After years of waiting, watching from afar, and dare she say it, stalking, it had finally happened. She was on a date with Naruto, and it was like she’d always dreamed. The night had been perfect. Naruto had picked her up from the manor, and impressed her father by not showing any intimidation. So much so, that he’d given his blessing, and encouraged her not to waste the opportunity. Not only had he dressed up, but the look on his face when he’d seen her had made her blush from head to toe. He’d taken her to the new sushi place in the restaurant district, and they’d had a wonderful dinner. Afterwards, he’d taken her on a walk through the village, which ended on top of the Hokage Monument. Being alone with Naruto, and the encouraging words from her father, had given her the courage to tell him how she felt; just as the twinkling lights of Konoha came on. The view was breathtaking, and had perfectly set the mood for what was coming; far too slowly in her opinion, but still coming. She’d almost fainted when he called her beautiful, and called himself a fool for not noticing her before. Now, Naruto’s arms were wrapped around her waist, she was being held tightly against the man she loved, and his lips were steadilydescending towards hers. It was perfect, just like she’d always dreamed…at least until they were interrupted. With reflexes of the S-rank shinobi that he was rapidly becoming, Naruto had grabbed Hinata, and pulled them both away from the massive fireball that scorched the ground they’d just been standing on. A second later, a man appeared, wearing an Akatsuki cloak, and an orange mask with a single eyehole.
The man removed his mask to reveal a handsome face. Delicate, aristocratic, features, that were almost feminine stared back at them. Not anything compered to Naruto, in Hinata’s opiniong, but still handsome by any standards. The thing that stood out the most, were the three spinning tomoe in his right eye. The tomoe of the Sharingan practically destroyed any trust she may have even considered having in the man; even moreso than the Akatsuki cloak he wore. When he spoke, his voice came out in a low, smooth timbre that sent shivers up Hinata’s spine. Now for any other woman, it would have been those naughty shivers accompanied by naughty thoughts. For Hinata, they were shivers of revulsion, as if she’d been unwantingly groped by a perverted noble that she couldn’t retaliate against.“So sorry to ruin your date, but I must ask Naruto-kun to come with me.” The man said. “He has something that I need in his belly, and I shall wait no longer to have it.”“Look, if you want to fight me for the damned fox, then can we do it some other time, I’m kind of busy right now.” Naruto pulled Hinata closer to him, if that was even possible.“Ah yes, the lovely heiress to the Hyuuga clan.” He remarked. “If it’s any consolation, I was always rooting for you when it came to Naruto-kun’s affections. Sakura-chan just didn’t seem like a good fit. Too bad it took so long to happen, I almost feel bad for having to do this. Then again, if Naruto-kun weren’t so good at killing members of my organization, I wouldn’t have had to resort to this.”
“What can I say?” Naruto retorted. “It’s a gift.” The man smiled.
“You will come with me Kyuubi, or I will make you.” His face softened. “And I’d hate to have to ruin those snazzy duds.” Naruto easily slipped into a fighting stance.
“You’ll have to kill me first.” The mans features hardened, before he gave a snarl, and spoke in a threatening tone
“Or how about I kill the girl first, then capture you.” The two uber shinobi glared at each other, Hinata off to the side seemingly forgotten as their killing intent spiked in a duel to overpower the other, and gain a psychological advantage.
It is often said that it’s the quiet ones were the most dangerous, and the onest that you had to watch out for. In Konoha, that meant that Hinata and Shino were potentially the two most deadly shinobi in the village. For one Hinata Hyuuga, her moment of absolution was at hand. The normally sweet, shy, slow to anger kunoichi was swiftly losing her calm. After all the years of trying to confess her love, and all of the attempts to woo Naruto; to have her perfect moment ruined. Now as a Hyuuga, Hinata had always been taught to enhance her calm on the surface, no matter how angry she was underneath. This dastardly act of intrusion, however, was unforgivable, and the perpetrator would face her wrath. Her face a picture of rage, Hinata snapped. Her chakra, which had jumped easily to kage level, explodeds from her.The two shinobi, who had for the past few moments been concentrated on each other, were startled from their figurative dick measuring contest by a massive murderous intent that dwarfede them both. Luckily for Naruto, it wasn’t directed at him. When they turned to the third member of their party, what they saw froze them in shock.
A visible chakra aura, the likes of which only Naruto had been previously known to project, was blazing in the shape of a blue flame. Within this flame stood the most beautiful creature that either man had ever seen. Hinata was standing there, looking the very picture of an avenging angel. The ankle length, black dress that had hugged her round, womanly curves was now slit to the thighs on both sides. The wind created by the massive chakra blowing the dress in such a way, that it revealed generous expanses of her long, sensuous legs; the smooth porcelain skin, shapely calves, creamy, well toned, thighs, rounded bot…ahem, sorry…moving on now. For Naruto, the sight of that much of those…ahem…sexy legs, made his pants tighten and a trickle of blood slip from his nose.
One look at her face, which normally held a sweet countenance was twisted into a mask of fury. Her normally kind eyes were flooded with utter rage, her activated Byakugan adding to the picture. Her hair was whipping about her head like and indigo halo, and her hands, which were fisted at her sides, were coated in a condensed layer of chakra.
With a battle cry befitting her feelings of being wronged, Hinata Hyuuga attacked MadaraUchiha head on. The surprise attack, as well as the speed at which it was delivered, prevented the man from not only using his incorporeality jutsu, but defending himself in general. She tackled him to the ground and unleashed both heaven and hell’s fury on his Tenketsu with her chakra coated hands. A cloud of dust kicked up from the cratewr that formed when the flailing (in Madara’s case, Hinata was striking with cold, surgical precision) mass of limbs landed.Naruto could only stare in shock at the small cloud of classic anime violence occurring in front of him. While he;d always thought Hinata was cute, and he admitted extremely sexy in that dress, the vicious beauty he was watching right now was doing weird things to his libido.
When the dust finally settled, Naruto saw Hinata straightening out her dress, which she now seemed to fill out even more, and Madara on the ground in a bruised, bloody heap of tortured person. His twitching, convulsing form in a two foot deep crater where the attack had taken place. Poor Madara would never be a threat again; for not only did Hinata close every single one of his Tenketsu, but she did it with Chakra Scalpels.
Naruto’s Akatsuki troubles were officially over, all because the leader had decided to interrupt a date. As a result of this incident, Konoha gained two S-class ninja in their ranks. When word got out, Kisame and Zetsu decided that they’d rather be allies, as opposed to enemies of the girl that so brutally destroyed Madara Uchiha. The incident had done wondersw for the byoung kunoichi’s confidence as well. While she was still the kind hearted woman she’d always been, she was nho longer shy or easily pushed aside. A couple of the more stubborn Hyuuga elders learned this the very next day. When she’d expressed her intentions with Naruto, they had actually tried to forbid her from marrying him. She didn’t bother closing their chakra points, she just hospitalized the old fogeys with her KI; really why are they still in charge when their hearts are so fragile. After she became the Clan Head, and ordered the removal of the Cage Bird Seal, they again tried to forbid her. This time, they just simply came up missing, courtesy of Neji’s Anbu squad. When questioned about the disappearance, Hyuuga spokeman Hiashi would only say that “the senile old bats had gone exploring in the Forest of Death, and hadn’t been heard from sense”.
The morals of this story kids…
1. Always beware the quiet ones.2. Never interrupt them when they’re on their dream date.For any artists reading this omake, just wondering if anyone would take a request. I'd be greatful for a picture of Avenging Angel Hinata.
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
I'd be this boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don't let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her whats wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers
When she reposts this bulletin, she wants you to read it
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she's important.
Kiss her in the pouring rain.
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking, babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will:
Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend."
i once gave up anime,
it was the most terrifying week of my life.
Real friends help you hide bodies,
Really good friends help you get rid of the witnesses...
REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.
From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.
Tom and the Absolution
A great Character and a funny host
You will live on forever in this.
If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and know wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black (original poster of this memorial).
pregnancy test...came out positve
start thinking something you really really want
You have just been visited by SERAH I will grant you one wish. Make your wish when the count down is over.
MAKE A WISH
repost this with the title "pregnancy test...came out positve" to throw people off and your wish will come true.
Post this in the next 200 seconds and you
Karin is so ugly, not even Naruto can believe it!
THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise, XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em' , SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess CherryBlossoms,Coscat, LKakashiSXE, Darkened Immortal, when.my.eyes.meet.yours, Nokas-Kokas, CanadianSkye94,Purplecherry5, Yuga Xyunagi, REfreak, Sharingangirl001, Hinatakura , Sakuranata, SASU-SAKU4everandalways, shadowxblossomx,blueberry08, Micah Sakura, JaseyRaeLullaby, KooriRoxs, Hidden in Sunlight, NARUHAREM FOREVA
Stupid Racist People...
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. (yay God!!!)
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
I thought it was kinda fun, so I posted it.
:Your One and Only Wish
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
9. If you choose...
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
where we are headed...?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why you have to click on 'Start' to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a 'Broker'?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a 'new & improved' flavour?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport 'the terminal' if flying is so safe?
Here are some actual warnings on some consumer goods, just in case you needed further proof the human race is doomed due to its own stupidity.
On a Myer hairdryer:
On another hairdryer
On a bag of Chips:
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
On some frozen dinners:
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
On most brands of Christmas lights:
On a Japanese food processor:
On Nobby's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a packet of smoked salmon: "Warning. May contain fish." (well, no freaking duh.)
Now the Greatest of them All
On a Swedish Chainsaw:
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
I like fleshy pink tacos, with extra special sauce
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
RIP We shall remember
I like fleshy pink tacos, with extra special sauce
If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you,copy and paste this onto your profile
A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja!
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who do know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
I like fleshy pink tacos, with extra special sauce
The Stupid Test! Teehee. (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!
(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.
() You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
(x) You have run into a tree.
() It IS possible to lick your elbow
(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.
(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.
(x) You just tried to sing them.
(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
(x) You have choked on your own spit.
(x) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
(x) You just looked at it.
() Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.
(x) People have called you slow.
(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire
(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
(x) You have caught yourself drooling.
(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class
() If someone says “fart” you laugh.
() You just laughed.
(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking
(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.
() You have eaten a bug.
(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
() You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.
(x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
(x) You break a lot of things.
() Your friends know not to use big words around you
(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
(X) You have fallen out of your chair before
(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
O.o...omfg...total is 30...wow...
I like fleshy pink tacos, with extra special sauce!:) yay extra special sauce!
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
· If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
· What disease did cured ham have?
· Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every hour and a half?
· Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?
· Instead of “All things in moderation,” shouldn’t it be “Some things in moderation”?
· Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?
· Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly?
· When French people swear, do they say, “Pardon my English”?
· Why is it called the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
· Why are they called marbles if they’re made out of glass?
· If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of its orbit?
· What color hair do bald men put on their driver’s license?
· How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
· How do you throw away a garbage can?
· Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase?
· When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be a “near hit”?
· How can something be both “new” and “improved”?
· Why do we shut up, but quiet down?
· How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place?
Stereotypes suck! They are so dumb! (some are true though) Not all of these are true about me but are examples, some are really mean!The onees in Bold apply to me
I am “POPULAR”, so I MUST be a rude stuck up brat
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
My parents are DIVORCED so I must be a bastard child.
I love WEAPONS so I must be psycotic.
I hate WAR so I must hate my country.
Stop sterotypes! Copy this into your bio.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Original Fourty-Six laws of Anime: 47+ added on by others
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
6. Law of Temporal Variability
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
13. Law of Energetic Emission
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
15. Law of Inexhaustability
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
26. Law of Feline Mutation
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
34. Law of Probable Attire
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
41. Law of Xylolaceration
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
47. Law of Reginative Outlook
All clothing can repair itself in a matter of moments (few exeptions)
48. Law of Klutz proof Weaponry
Any weapon dropped in mud/strapped to back while swiming / has not been used in 50 years will still work at a moments notice (incudes guns,laser devices,bombs,light sabers,Gundams,and all swingable style weapons
49 Law of fluffy actions
There will be fluff at inoppertune times (i.e.in a fight,while hiding,during meeting ect.)
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
101. Law of the Strong Perverts (Added by The Fifth Rider of Armageddon)
102. Law of Women and Powerful Men (Added by The Fifth Rider of Armageddon)
If you are a man and you have a girlfriend or a wife you're whipped, and no matter how powerful you are they'll whoop you.
103. Law of the Impossible (Added by The Fifth Rider of Armageddon)
104. Law of Extreme Cranial Flexibility (Added by Karasu Yoru)
And if you watch anime, you'll notice that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE ABOVE LAWS IS TRUE!! Scarily true...
Note: Below is a list of animes that broke laws, and the law they broke.
I like fleshy pink tacos, with extra special sauce
This is really sweet...
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.
Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.
REMEMBER WHEN ..
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read this ENTIRE profile and wasted about ten minutes reading what took me hours to put together, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your dad gets a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile.
If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.
If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to yor profile.
If you like chocolate, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever got a high score and jumped in the air and screamed yes, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude' , copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.
If you think that this is too troublesome to read, copy this too your profile.
If you are too lazy to copy this to your profile, copy this to your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself.
If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever looked at the backs of heads that were previously your friends, copy this into your profile.
If you approve of gay-marrigaes put this on your profile.( Just so you know I'm not gay it just sickens me how people are denied their happiness because of sexual preference)
-When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
-Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.
-Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
-Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs
-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
-Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
-Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
- Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
-Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
-Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
-We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.
-Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
-At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
-A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.
-If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
-Geico saved 15 by switching to Chuck Norris.
-If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
-They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.
-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
-Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
-The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.
-The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!”
-Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.
-Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.
-Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
-Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.
-Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".
-Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
-Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
-Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
-Gravity doesn’t exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt because they are shaped like Ts
weird test, found it on karasu's profile, i can't believe my results!!!
Disorder | Rating
URL of the test:
My name means KRISTY:
K: Really silly