I'm currently working on four stories for Harry Potter and Twilight.
My main story is for Harry Potter and I want it done before I share it.
When I'm finished, in whoever knows how long, I'll start posting chapters.
I am picky about grammar, spelling and being realistic (as much as magic and vampirism can be).
If you visit later on, I might have something for you to read other than my favorites!
COMEBACKS to crappy pickup lines!
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
Ways to make sure you're insane:
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".
- Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I WON! I WON!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives!They're loose!!"
Why America has some issues...
1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
I LOVE RAINY DAYS.
THEY MAKE EVERYTHING ELSE SEEM BRIGHTER.
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