I'm Ayana and I love to read.
I would love to see Eclipse from Victoria's point of view and Jasper be more involved in the story.
I love funny movies/books and hate horror and movies that make me cry.
If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.
I am a girl.
It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes.
"Never hire a colorblind electrician."
"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it."
"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."
"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."
"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."
"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."
"Happiness is your dentist telling you "it won't hurt a bit," and then he catches his hand in the drill."
"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."
Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo
Live dangerous...Run with scissors.
I'm so clever that sometimes, I don't even know what I'm saying
Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it.
In order to get to heaven, you have to make a little hell.
If you try and don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
You ask for advice? Yeah, not so good at that. May I offer you a sarcastic comment instead?
Don'y play games with someone who can play better.
Stand up for what you believe in, even is it means standing alone.
People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
In a world of cheerios, be a Froot-Loop.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you.
Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Sign on motorway garage:
Seen during a conference:
Notice in a field:
Sign at Norfolk farm gate:
Sign on a famous beauty parlor window:
Notice in the toilet
When you dial a Mental Hospital...
Welcome to the Psychiatric Ward.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear
Things You Don't Want To Hear During a Surgery
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Hand me that... uh... whatever it's called !
- Oh no! I just lost my watch.
- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
- There go the lights again...
- Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.
- What's this doing here?
- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
-You sure it wasn't this leg?
- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- Are his relatives waiting outside?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
- This scissor looks rusted.
- Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Isn't this the one with the really lousy insurance?
- Now from where did this spider come in from.
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
Stay away from prunes.
Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Never try to baptize a cat.
Ways to annoy people:
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Ask people what gender they are.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Blow your nose when some one is eating.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "eat away your food " !
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Name your dog "Dog."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Set alarms for random times.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Things you really shouldn't say:
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
That shirt makes you look fat.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Gosh, why don't you kill me already and put me out of my misery?
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
No, that does not look good on you.
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!
HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY
This is for the people who are homophobic. Get over it!!
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
For me, crazy is a loose term.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.
Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.
Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?"
Crazy is having a thumb war with yourself.
Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.
Crazy is when you scour the internet for something to put on your profile, just for something to do.
Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least).
Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it.
Crazy is when you act completely well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care.
Crazy is when you talk about yourself in third-person POV and then insult yourself in third-person for talking in third-person POV.
Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, and fan fiction.
Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you.
Crazy is when you are trick-or-treating and someone gives you an orange so you throw it into the street and chase it until it stops rolling.
Crazy is when someone asks you why the chicken crossed the road, and you reply, "To stop World War III from starting."
Crazy is when you spend 10 minutes coming up with something you can try and spread across the internet.
Crazy is when you are showing something to someone, and you come up with a random name for it on the spot.
Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school field trip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours strait WHILE riding roller caosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your Friends, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it."
Crazy is when you hear the intercom in Walgreens and scream "No! The doctor said the voices would stop!"
Crazy is when you have videos on your digital camera of people posing for pictures.
Crazy is when you...were writing this sentence and literally forgot what you were going to say...
Crazy is when people ask you why you did something, and you laugh because they should know better than to think you have a reason.
Crazy is when you are thrilled that you only lost your tennis match by three points.
Crazy is when you write "CONTENT REMOVED, CONTAINS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION" on your bio to make people wonder what the hell you were talking about.
Crazy is telling everyone you know that you know the secret that Stephanie Meyer is putting in Midnight Sun, and then telling them that Mike Newton is really gay.
Crazy is when for some strange reason your wardrobe scares you so you have to army roll to your bed from your door.
Crazy is hopping to class, and when asked why, you blame it on the bunnies. Even if there were no bunnies.
Crazy is when you get into the wrong car when being picked up after school.
Crazy is when every time your throat hurts, you hope you somehow turned into a vampire without knowing it.
Crazy is when you follow strangers just to see where they're going.
Crazy is when your friend goes up to a blond, pale doctor, tells him she knows his secret, and you let yourself get dragged out by security with her, and are still her friend.
Crazy is when you are talking to your friends non stop (even after you've run into a mailbox at the mall) about twilight even though they haven't read it.
Crazy is when you yell at your mom for thinking that Twilight was a dumb book. (in New Moon she didn't think it was sad!!)
Crazy is when you have an argument with yourself in the supermarket over what you should buy.
If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.
Unsafe External Link