Poll: In my story, "Some Pairings Are Only Worth A Drabble", what is the weirdest pairing you have seen? Vote Now!
Author has written 17 stories for Maximum Ride, Legend of Zelda, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Hayate the Combat Butler, Airman, and Angel Beats!/エンジェルビーツ.
Crap... it's been over half a year... I didn't expect my hiatus to be that long...
In any case, I've been suckered into continuing Teleport Trouble, so that's my current idea. But rereading it was slightly painful. I really do need a beta for my stories. T-T
I'm not making any promises, but you might be able to expect some kind of update for at least one of my stories this month (if not the previously mentioned, then a follow-up oneshot based on that last HnG chapter, with Hayate and Ruka and Nagi..., or just an Everyday Life one-shot.)
Yo. Hows it going.
Age: Old enough to write competently yet young enough to have millions of ideas.
Grade: High School
Current Residence: Somewhere in the Milky Way is Me
Reason for Pen-name: I was joining a site and I couldn't get a good nickname, so I came up with this myself. Has no relation to anything. Except for maybe it was sub-consciously related to polos... nah!
Other: I am an addict to crossovers, HnG, TGWOK, and OAYCR (Other Acronyms You Won't Recognise).
Other Other: I made a DeviantART account a while ago to 'deepen the experience' (read: put random stuff up when I'm bored), and am now posting all of my covers and sketches related to my stories there. So if you can't tell what a cover is suppose to read, or if you want to see a alien with UFOs for feet and a laser firing chicken head, come check it out using these words as a link! If that doesn't work, just search for the name 'cjpolodo' (regular polodo wasn't available for some reason T-T).
Another Other for yo' Mother: I am the infamous (emphasis on 'in' as in not) Name Goes Here on St. Fang Of Boredom's Fansite.
Betas Read Below Please
I like to write. As such, when I feel that I have a really good idea, or that I have a story that needs improvement and I can't figure it out on my own, I want a beta to help. Granted, I will probably never put a story I've already posted on here, but if a Beta ever happens across my profile and is able to help, let me know!
Stories I Would Like Beta'd:
Hakuou High School Hostess Club
The Segawa's New Butler
Days (Prospect Found)
Teleport Trouble: My first crossover story, going between Zelda (Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask) and Maximum Ride (The First Book; The Angel Experiment). What if the whitecoats created a trans-dimensional device into Hyrule? Well, they did, and now it's up to Link to stop him. But after Link follows the device back into Earth, he has to save that one first... I think, still working on that. Over 1,000 hits makes me so happy, so good job reading! :D
Everyday Life In The Sanzenin Apartments: Another story that will never have an official ending. This one is a collection of one-shots about life, well, in the Sanzenin Apartments. Really, I just wanted to expand on the relationships between all of the tenants beyond just "rivals in love". So no romance stories in here, but tons of friendships and bad humor to take the place of that romance. Eh, Hayate has too many romance stories anyway (not that I'm helping since my other 4 stories are romantically based, you hypocrite you), so here's a nice change of pace instead. In plus, it's fun to write, so bonus! Wow, people really seem to like Chiharu, as my second chapter of the story got 80 more views than the first story. But, hey! Glad you all like it, and there'll be more to come. :D
(Progress: I have 2 or 3 other stories planned, but I have some other stories that'll take precedence. This doesn't have a schedule, so beware.)
Beta'd Stories (Wow... somebody thought I should be their beta... mistake alert :P)
The Story of the Forgotten One by 20 Percent Derpier (Maximum Ride)
Their current summary: This is the story of Zach. The forgotten one. Join him and the Flock as they go through the experiences of The Angel Experiment. If you sent me an OC, and it is not in the story, please send it again. On Hiatus. But don't worry not for long.
My take: It's most definitely a work in progress. He just asked me today to do it, and I can safely say I have a long road of work in front of me. Basically, he just inserted a character of his own into the MR universe (the first book, to be exact). But to give him credit, he can be funny at times. I have caught myself laughing at times when he wants me to, and (unfortunately) times when he doesn't want me to. Right now, his biggest problems are paragraphing (he's one of the dreaded "one paragraph chapters" people, and when some of those chapters are 1500 words... o.o) and spelling, and has a smaller problem with his character being a Gary Stu (though not too big of one yet).
If I have to commend him for one thing, it's that he's open to criticism. In every chapter, he encourages people to tell him what he's doing wrong, and when I've confronted him with these problems, he's been very understanding about it and gives me reasons why this might be the case while also promising to try and fix them. Now I have a better understanding of what he's doing, and he has a better understanding on how to write better chapters. :D
Should You Read?: I'm always going to say yes, but be warned: It does need work. Go into reading that with those words stuck in your head. Also, it has coarse language, and the chapters are 500 long paragraphs. But be sure to leave feedback; how else will he get better?
Complete Stories (More than one multi-chap; yay!):
Welcome To NYC Fang - Despite forewarnings, I couldn't give it a bad ending; not good at them. Oh well. For those who DON'T know what it's about: What if Fang left the Flock in NYC? Serious, has a message, and Miggy joked at. Hope you enjoy!
Maximum Ride: The World Just Doesn't Stay Saved - Yup, my first story and my "epic" JP-like story. I decided that it has already gone through it's cycle. Also: NO SEQUEL. Even if nobody cares about anyways, I'm not writing about who wins or who loses, got it punk? Finally got dethroned by Pairings as the most popular story hits-wise. Thank God, as I hate this story in retrospect. I'm never going to delete it, though, as it served a purpose and shows how much my writing has progressed throughout my time on FanFiction dot Net.
Acronyms Are A Funny Thing... - MY second oneshot about the School and Acronyms... Decently done, and a suggestive side story... Check It Out! For some reason, this story consistently brings in hits far better than any of my other one-shots as it brings in at least 7 people every month to read it despite being 2 years old and never actually being that popular in the first place. Weird...
Daybreak Is A Good Time For Descisions - A drabble that marked my first (and only, so far) venture in Percy Jackson fanfiction. Basically, what if Percy stayed with Callypso? Now 99 words thanks to FanFiction dot Net's word checker change...
Just Sat - Iggy and Fang are cage mates when they're pulled in the middle of the night to a surgery room. Yet another one-shot by me, though this one is more serious. This has ended up being my most popular one-shot by far, which surprises me greatly, but whatever. In fact, it's my most overall favorited story so huzzah to a job well done, in 95 minutes no less.
Plothole - A one-shot about where the plothole leads people. A straight-up humor fic with some Jeb/Bortch slash in it. Saint even reviewed to so I'mma say this was successful.
Power - A one-shot that takes the form that Just Sat, but shows Angel's quest for Power throughout the sixth book of Maximum Ride (FANG). I like it, but I should, I wrote it. Nobody ever read it, which makes me sadface, since I felt like I did a good job on it. T-T I'm going to put this down as my most underrated story and move on.
Whose Ride Is It Now? - One-shot, yet again. Pretty much the only thing I finish :P. But that's besides the point. This is a crack story about what would happen if Max died. Who would replace her as the main character? Iggy, Angel, Dylan, Fang, the possibilities are great. But who wins? Find out. This is my most reviewed one-shot, so I am very happy with it.
Perks - A one-shot, but this one a fluff-filled Hayate the Combat Butler Ruka(or is it Luca)xHayate one-shot. Let me just say, reading it was one of the most sickening things I've done in a while, but I don't really like romance fics, so it might be your thing. Now that I'm more into romance stories, I like this story a lot more.
Sleep - A one-shot, go figure. This one's special trait is that it's in the Airman section. Actually it's probably my most normal one-shot yet, sans maybe Just Sat. After the events of the story, all Conor wants to do is sleep. But with relatives and Isabella wanting to catch up for two years of lost time, it's harder than it sounds. Not my best work in the slightest, but I wouldn't call it bad... Check it out if you like the book I guess!
Strings - Wow, a one-shot outside of the Maximum Ride fandom, third time in a row. This time it's Angel Beats!, awesomesauce anime, yaddi yaddi yadda. Anyways, this takes place after the events of the whole show, where Otonashi is all by himself, being angsty. He then "dreams" of a place where he can see his friends in the real world, but when he gets there, he finds he can do a lot more. Surprisingly better than I thought it'd be. Also, it was the 300th story posted in the fandom. Booyah suckahs! Also, this is my second most favorited one-shot, which I think it fully deserves to be.
I Fail At Flock Hunting - A fic that spanned 2 and 3 quarter years of procrastination, this is by far my favorite multi-chapter fic by me, and probably my favorite fic by me period. When I first started it, there was masses of 'capture' fics, where the author would take one of the Flockies hostage and talk to them for laughs, often in script format (Large examples of these are Iggy's Ramblings by Aleria14, Me, Max & A Dog Kennel by tgypwya, and any story by Saint Fang of Boredom). I don't see them as often now, considering all I see are FAX fics *shiver, but they were actually pretty good. But, since they were everywhere, I wanted to parody it. So started this, a story about a manic fan of the Flock trying to keep a Flockie. This was so much fun to write, and its earned about 1,000 hits, so yay! :D
Mourning Over A Love That Never Was - Another Hayate The Combat Butler one-shot, this one a lot more depressing. I guess it was pretty good, but I wouldn't suggest it for those Nagi/Hayate fans, unless you want to read an angsty one-shot about how Nagi reacts to Hayate rejecting her completely. ...Well maybe not that bad, but it's definitely not pro-Nagi/Hayate. This is my only one-shot to get 100 hits in one month! Thanks everyone!
Izumi's Morning - Since it had been forever since I actually posted a one-shot, I decided to do one about Izumi's morning, and how perverted she really is. Or isn't, since it's not even told by her. Just a fun little piece I did to do. I have no idea how well it's done (since I'm posting this right after I posted the actual story), but I can tell you one thing: It's the most perverted story I have done ever. Though I can assure there's much much much much much worse on this site, even discluding rated 'M' stories.
Some Pairings Are Only Worth A Drabble: I'm giving this one an unofficial ending, because I'm out of ideas for it and it's been over a month and a half since the last update. I might do a closing drabble, but I probably won't. But, hey, it's by far my most popular story, taking up about a third of all the hits on my stories. And if you're looking for the best ones through it, I'll give you my top ten:
Dead Stories: If you really want to see them (you don't, though; they're like the Star Wars Christmas Special...) you can PM me. I have them saved on my computer for nostalgia reasons.
Total Drama Redo - My first story on the site, and the only one outside of the MR fandom (for a while, that is). I saw a lot of remakes using other peoples characters and tried it out for myself. It did minorly well, but I just didn't have enough consistent effort to keep it alive. Oh well. It will be deleted from the site, but I'm keeping this blurb here forever.
Gazzy's Story - Okay, I'll admit it. I made it pretty much for the sake of Project PULL. I didn't have enough time to cultivate the idea and it turned into a cool story (bro...) but too many problems to continue. I might become a necromancer for this one, if I ever get around to it. It will be deleted from the site, but I'm keeping this blurb here forever. (Yay copy and paste)
Stories To Come
This is now just stories I'm writing at the time, since I keep on not doing the ones I had listed. So here are the stories that already have words poured into them.
Hayate The Combat Butler
Nishisawa's Favor (Romance/Humor) One-shot
Is This Remorse? (Family/Hurt/Comfort) One-shot
The Butler's Vow (Romance/Humor?) One-shot
The Segawa's Butler (Humor/Drama) Chapter Fic
The World God Only Knows
Sora's Mind (Drama/Humor) One-shot
Hakuou High School Hostess Club (Hayate The Combat Butler/Ouran High School Host Club)(Humor/Drama) Three-shot
Now that I've proven to myself I can put out around 2 to 3 good and finished chapters/stories a month, I have a crapton more confidence in creating a schedule to follow. But I'm not really making a schedule, just what I'm going to do.
Teleport Trouble: I'm deeply sorry. I've forgotten about this story. The wonderful tale of Link popping up in the Flocks life that people can't seem to get over. Because, despite how much I've neglected it, it consistently gets a lot of views. You guys are really cool like that, and I feel bad for leaving off the last chapter saying that it wouldn't be long before the next chapter, then have it be eight months later without anything to show you guys. What I can promise is an effort to get this story finished before my current school year is done. Also, if anyone wants to beta this, it's no big thing, but I'll gladly accept help on this (though I've been a pretty bad beta to 20 Percent Derpier... T-T). Thank you for sticking with me on this project! :D
Everyday Life In The Sanzenin Apartments: Ah, friendship. It truly is magic. These are a little harder to write than Pairings up there, mainly because they're not 100 words long. Still, they are fun to do, so yay.
Order to Come
Whenever I do them, I guess.
I've been neglecting stories a lot, always hopping onto the next idea, only the lucky few getting out of development and into published form. I'm working the hardest on Hakuou High School Hostess Club and The Segawa's Butler, but the latter won't come out for a looong time.
RANDOM FACT OF THE WEEK:
Tumblr needs an 'e', or I'm going to go crazy.
Self-update (for those stalkers out there):
I have a bad habit. For the past two years I have attempted NaNoWriMo. In the past two years, my total words from those 2 stories are probably around 3 or 4 thousand, instead of the 100 thousand I would have if I beat it both times. Heck, it's still incomparable to the 50k I would have from beating it 1 time. And don't get me started on Camp NaNoWriMo, where I think I had 50 words?
No, this is bad.
So how will I solve it?
In National Novel Writing Month, the objective is to write a 50,000 words original story in 30 days (also known as November). Many a person has pointed out that this is equal to 1666 words (and two-thirds, if you're picky) a day for the entire month. Honestly, not too too bad, considering the outcome. As such, I made a plan for October. A horrendous plan that will probably fail, but a plan I will follow through with anyways.
This plan? Write 31 short stories in October. One everyday. Each at least 1666 words long. And I'm going to post everyone to DeviantArt.
Like NaNoWriMo, there won't be any major editing, so a major warning for those reading. Also, I have no idea what the topics will be. I might do something like give myself one-word prompts or set up a scenario, but I'm not sure yet. My biggest goal (besides actually doing it) is for them not to be FanFiction, as I need to come up with my own characters/settings/interactions.
If I do this, all of the NaNoWriMo Practice prompts will be titled as: NNWM P1 Title.
Now that all that's out of the way, what does this mean for my FanFiction? Really, nothing. I've been crap uploading without doing this and I have two chapter/stories almost done for the Hayate fandom, so I'll put those out soon. And Some Pairings Aren't Even Worth A Drabblewill never be affected by this. My commitment to that was made first, and it only takes 15 minutes to do a pairing drabble for that, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
With all that out of the way, horray! I've got this all set! Now all I need to do is balance this with my school and play schedule, as well as fit in some time for homework. Nothing too bad. :D
I'm working hard for you stalkers,
P.S. For all of the other updates (if you actually care that much, you giant stalker, you), go to my deviantart account cjpolodo. Shamelessly plugging that thing because I can.
Top 3 Favorite Book Series: 1. Maximum Ride (Especially the 1st 3, but Angel wasn't bad), 2. Artemis Fowl (even the latest ones, although different, are great), 3. Percy and the Olympians (Good Series) (Discluding the new spin-off, "Heroes of Olympus", mainly because I haven't read them yet. I might not ever.)
Top 3 Favorite Books: 1. Airman (best non-series book I've read) 2. Artemis Fowl (As in the first book) 3. Witchlanders
Top 3 Favorite Games: 1. Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, 2. Super Smash Bros. Full Series, 3. Advance Wars Days of Ruins (It's the one I own :P)
Top 3 Favorite Shows/Cartoons: 1. TDI, 2. Phineas & Ferb, 3. iCarly
Top 3 Bands: I have many admired bands, but if I must choose, it would be: 1. Blue October 2. Fun. 3. Five For Fighting
Top 5 Animes: 1. Angel Beats! 2. The World God Only Knows 3. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya 4. Ouran High School Host Club 5. Full Metal Panic! Fumoffu
Top 5 Mangas: 1. Hayate the Combat Butler 2. The World God Only Knows 3. Tonari no Kashiwagi-san 4. Silver Spoon 5. Yotsubato!
...And probably should do this as well:
Favorite Hayate The Combat Butler Pairings: HayatexIzumi - This and the following are what people would call my OTP. I just want them to happen so badly. I really have no reasons for why I like them so much; I just do.
HayatexRuka - Tied with the first for my OTP. Again, no real reason for why I like it so much; maybe it has a special spot because it was what my first foray into HnG was about, but I still liked them together before that... Also, yay, they kissed!
SharnaxFumi - Because duh. In plus, the last Fumi chapter to me hinted at Sharna being a lesbian. This needs to be canon, now.
ChiharuxSakuya - It cracked me up when Chiharu thought of Sakuya in her bucket list, but I still like the idea of them getting together. I would say because I like the ButlerxMaster pairing but...
Least Favorite Hayate The Combat Butler Pairings: HayatexNagi - ...but this one I just can't seem to like. It just doesn't seem... right I guess. I might be the only one who thinks this way (though I doubt it), but I'm quite firm in this.
Favorite Hayate The Combat Butler Friendships: Nagi and Ruka - These two bounce off each other so well, I can't help but love it.
Favorite Other Series Pairings (Fanon Only): SousukexKyoko in Full Metal Panic! - Honestly, I don't know why. I just think it's a pretty awesome pairing. But since I'm pretty lax on that fandom, not really that knowledgeable about a lot of things.
"Fuck!... No, wait, shit!" Garrett, our musical's pianist. (On this: "Taking baby steps back.")
"Playing it safe is the most popular way to fail." Elliot Smith
"Woah. Is it me, or does the sky look dark and ominous as if it will foreshadow events that will have a negative impact on our lives?" - Phineas in Phineas & Ferb
"Bit of advice: find shorter magic words." - Dr. Light in Teen Titans
"Hey, Toph! Be careful!"
"STUPID! YOU'RE SO STUPID!" Karate Intructor - UHF
"I thought you were dead."
"Sometimes, Goliath kicks the crap out of David; thing is, nobody bothers to tell that story." Rosalie's Dad in I Won A Date With Tad Hamilton
"Try Sac Headquarters on the HF."
-Real Book Quotes-
"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy
"I vill now vestroy, de Snichar Bahrs!" -Gazzy
"Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know." Foaly
"Smite it with what? Your secret birthmark?"
"Can you do that without them noticing?"
"An assassin's first murder is himself. He kills the man he was." -Lilla Red Bird/Lilla the Blood-Smeared
"I try to think of what I can say to comfort him. I don't even know if he wants it. I don't know if I'd want to be comforted, if I'm being honest. If I'm being forced to eat soot, I want to know that somewhere else in the world, someone else has to eat soot as well. I want to know that soot tastes terrible. I don't want to be told that soot's good for my digestion." -Puck
"iBoy... I mean, that's actually pretty good, isn't it?"
"In this cave you will not age a moment."
"Are you enjoying your game, Katsuragi-kun? What could be more fun than your homeroom teacher's lesson, hmm?"
"Reality is a shitty game." Keima. The World God Only Knows
Still, to threaten a demon... what a human..."
"Vintage, which was planning to resurrect Old Hell, was crushed. The chief of the Runaway Spirit Squad was erased. The cast of this little theater has been replaced." Nora. The World God Only Knows (Nora gets some pretty BA lines. I still don't like her, but I won't deny this fact.)
Once upon a time Santa said to me in a dream...
"What should I do?! Against such an unexpectedly strong enemy... And this lava, if I fall into that, then... This is bad. If I don't manage to win this, I'll die!
"Why is this bunny suit being torn out?!"
"The blue sky and a beautiful murmuring stream. The refreshing wind blowing through the forest...
"I had always approached her in work mode before, so I never really thought about it. But... Ruka-san is a girl, isn't she?"
"While he might look like a rebel, he's actually just an idiot that will go straight forward on anything he's made up his mind about." Alise. Magico
"Coffee is made from black cows."
"Wha... what is that!? Is that supposed to be a confession... or a declaration of war?" Kirishima. Kimi no Iru Machi
"Chihiro, want to be my fiance?"
"I said take it back! Acknowledge my hotness!" - Minami. Baka and Test: Summon the Beasts!
"Personification allows you to turn everything under the sun into a moe character. Take the earth, for example! If you listen closely enough, you can hear, 'I-it's not like I'm rotating for you!' And in a tsundere voice." Keima. The World God Only Knows
"Miyuki-san, do you have any faults at all?"
"You. Kicked. A. Demon?! Okay, I kinda respect that about you." Furuichi. Beelzebub
"Did we smash into someone?"
"I'm asking how Sugisaki is going! What's he like when he's working for the student council?"
-Video Game Quotes-
"Boy meets girl. Boy gives girl flower. Boy names girl. ...What's wrong with this world?" Lin. Advance Wars: Days of Ruin
"Do you know what it's like to watch yourself die? ...It is FASCINATING!" Caulder. Advance Wars: Days of Ruin
EXAMINE BLOODY DAGGER
"On your travels, always keep an eye out for treasure chests in unexpected places. Who left them there? Who cares! It's finders keepers in the wild world of adventuring. Think of them as diving gifts from the great Goddess, placed there just for you." 'King of Adventure' Quarterly. Dragon's Quest 8: Path of the Cursed King
"You know, lately I've been thinking-"
"What's that smell?"
"Why are you all so happy?"
"Heavenly Father, why do you let bad things happen?
"When the next postal worker visited later he would be taken aback by a snow sculpture of the unstable girl riding a shark. To have the unstable girl suddenly burst out from the statue yelling out “Izzy shark” would continue to give him nightmares…..3 years later." - 23 Presents by Imagi (TDI)
“Okay, okay, Perry the Platypus—jeez, you’re so annoying, just shut up already! When I take over the Tri-State Area, I’ll make you...um...almighty overlord of the corner of Third Street and Main. Happy?” - Dr. Doofenshmirtz in Show Me Fifty Times and I'll Believe You by The Illustrious Crackpot (Phineas & Ferb)
"Without either courage and determination, or a complete disregard for common sense, you cannot hope to change the fate of this mountain. Thankfully, you have plenty of the latter." - Noctowl in The Legend of Eevee: Majerkass's Mask by that one little guy (Legend of Zelda/Pokemon)
"Thank you for restoring me to normal. I am the Great Fairy of Wisdom!"
"Tell me, did you ever get the feeling that you don't really fit in? That you don't belong with these people?"
""Oh, no, I couldn't possibly take your money," said the perpetually impoverished manservant, as always acting too damn noble for his own good." - Hayate in HnG Ecchi Garden by EvilFuzzy9 (Hayate The Combat Butler/Hayate no Gotoku) (I really don't like ecchi or hentai or smutty writing, but when it's not focused on that, this story is HILARIOUS!)
"Mister, Pokemon battles aren't to the death. Listen, I've seen things you wouldn't believe. From people who took weeks to beat Brock with just a Rattata to a guy who tortured his charmander until it had enough levels to burn Brock's Onix alive. I've seen the deadened look of those Pokemon. I've seen it all, I've seen far too much. So if I want to talk about my mother fucking shorts, and how much I like them, because they are mother fucking comfy, and easy to wear, you are going to shut the fuck up and listen, do you fucking understand?" - Youngster in Doom by Sir Chris (Pokemon)
"I asked him what he was doing, and he said "why taking a hike of course my good man, would you like to join me? Perhaps we could inspect together, as inspecting friends." YOU SEE? HE KNOWS! HE KNOWS EVERYTHING!" - The Dark Lord's Favorite in Harry Potter and the School Inspection by themask77 (Harry Potter)
- FanFiction Reviews-
P.S. By the way, this review is proof that you have no life. - St. Fang of Boredom flames her own story Africa Goes Awry (Ya, cuz I just randomly read random reviews... That is proof that I have no life.)
I have to admit, I laughed.
"It's true what they say... fangirls ruin everything." Tea, Yugioh The Abridged Series
"I guess I gotta applaud Metal for his parenting methods. Guys will stay away from her in fear of having Metal kissing them." - Intern 2, MyMusic (That... was a hilarious episode...)
"The following comments all come from the internet. I'm so sorry." - Your Grammar Sucks #25: The Rap
"Here comes Pufferfish. He has a plan, but it doesn't involve most of his brain." - Day , Day Daily #368 (He has a ton of gems. Most wouldn't fit here, though.)
"You know what this place needs? Big ass nuclear power plant. That way I can have a steady stream of evil villains. It makes sense to me anyway." Kevin (as played by LittleKurbioh), Let's Play REDHAWK
"I swear, if they made my life into a movie, no one would believe it."
"Come now, do you really expect me to do coordinate substitution in my head while strapped to a centrifuge?"
"We live in a world where there are actual of robot assassins patrolling the skies. At some point there, we left the present and entered the future." Alt-Text, XKCD
"Man, this emo shit was supposed to be for people who didn't have hats." Black Hat Alt-Text, XKCD
"Maleficent wanted revenge because she didn't get a birthday invitation (That's got to be my favorite. What, you didn't try to kill the daughter of a king when he snubbed you? Clearly you aren't having a sensible reaction)." - Authoress Anonymous in her post "Villainesses (And What Makes Them Fall Short)"
"The chances of it being it one piece were slim to none. The chances of me finding it were slim to none. Fifty coincidences had to coincide to have this happen. I should have bought some lottery tickets." - Bob Russell, "Texas Man Finds Stolen Car 42 Years Later" ABC News
"I'd like to give a special one finger salute to all those who said he'd come apart going supersonic." Joseph Kittinger, "Felix Baungartner Breaks The Sound Barrier During Skydive From A Record 24 Miles Up" GrindTV.com
"Sometimes when I express the hatred and fear I feel when I think of spiders, someone will be like "But spiders have families too!!" Like somehow that will make me become sympathetic and understanding toward spiders. But that's exactly the point. Spiders have families and their families are also spiders. We should kill spiders because they have families." Hyperbole and a Half: Spiders Are Scary. It's Okay To Be Afraid Of Them
"Sorry, when is this going to get back to stabbing people?"
"PRIEST SAYS WOMEN ENCOURAGE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR NOT COOKING AND CLEANING WELL ENOUGH" - The weirdest headline I have ever read.
"Discard all weapons to defeat without a fight. If you have no weapons, enjoy Combat." - Instructions on "Swat Team" Card, Ani-Mayhem CCG
Here be's my stories/favorite stories/authors (and that one random group)! See them down there? That them!
I just recommended 141 things to you all at once. Now THAT takes mad skillz. Take that, foo!