jAsMiNeLoVeStWiLiGhT
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Joined 04-17-09, id: 1905078, Profile Updated: 06-15-10
Author has written 16 stories for Twilight.

Don't Drive Drunk
For those who haven't heard, Stephanie (Daddy's Little Cannibal) was killed by a drunk driver on May 8, 2009.
Driving drunk would be like killing her all over again, or saying you just don't care.
May she be remembered forever, and may she rest in peace.

Thanks to Twihard24 (Julie), I've gone to the dark side. Come with me. We have Paul, Jacob, Embry, Collin, Brady, Sam, Quil, Jared, Leah, and Seth. That's not even counting the Elders and such. Teehee. MUHAHAHA. I READ THE BEST STORY. LA PUSH ME OFF A CLIFF. OH YES. OH YES. it's from twihard24. she's awesome. There's a sequel to it. I'm going to read it tday or tomorrow. YOU SHOULD TOO. . . .

Wellllll...my name is Jasmine. Most people call me Jas. I'm a grammar fanatic. I love it too much for my own good. really. I'm 14 as of July 13. Wow. I have green eyes, depending on my mood. My hair is a light-ish brown, almost to my waist (it's 16 inches). I'm gettin it cut.woot. I am 5'5" or 5'6" Im not too sure.Uhhh...im rambling. I shall stop now.

I have a FictionPress. its jAsMiNeLoVeStWiLiGhT too. buhhhh http://www.fictionpress.com/u/671368/jAsMiNeLoVeStWiLiGhT

I'm a crazy, loud&proud freak :)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" just know you're awesome. -virtual cookie- [BAHAHAHA. i said cookie.]

My favorite books:

Twilight saga, House of Night series, Uglies series, Dr. Seuss (im a total kid sometimes), Harry Potter Series, VAMPIRE ACADEMY, Vampire DIARIES

Favorite Music and Such:

BEATLES: (all their 'mazing stuff)

Papa Roach, Fleetwood Mac, Aerosmith, Panic! at the disco (Theyll always have a ! in my heart), Fall out boy, Theory of a Deadman, Creed, Sublime, The Lonely Island, Bloodhound Gang, 3 Doors Down, 3Oh!3, Akon, All American Rejects, Asher Roth, Avenged Sevenfold, Bon Jovi, Boys like girls, Buckcherry, Coldplay, Creed, David Cook, Drowning Pool, Eminem, Finger 11, Good Charolette, Gym Class Heroes, Hinder, Hollywood Undead, Journey, Lifehouse, Linkin Park, Matt Nathanson, Nickelback, Nine Inch Nails, OAR, Plies, Muddle of Mudd, Rehab, Secondhand Serenade, Seether, Shinedown, Styx, Sum 41, RHCP, System of a Down, The Killers, The Script, Three Days Grace

James at War's Spoofshttp://www.youtube.com/user/jamesatwar?blend=1&ob=4

I found this awesome new song/spoof of a spoof, You've got a cell phone friend in me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQDKGcpUQzk It's hillarious. I loves it. ROFLMAO. Like omg, you've got a cell phone friend in me!!

Check out my youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/xJasminelovesyoux

THIS is/always will be CATHY'S(CatherineTwilighter's) RECTANGULAR BOX OF DEDICATION.

She is/always will be: my boyfriend [or girlfriend, if she wants to be >:), the mac to my pc, my trumpet buddyy, my bestest bff, tea and crumpet accomplice, my twin that was born 6 days after me. an awesome writer, and juss awesome all around. [ you should go read her stories:http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1835033/CatherineTwilighter]

If youre going to read one of my stories, you should read Mike's Friendly Visit. Its totally silly [the word 'retarded' used to be here. i no longer use that dumb word] and full of junk. i luhh eet.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twilight in a Nutshell by Mits reviews
Parody summary of the Twilight Series.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 9/18/2012 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
Poor Unfortunate Soul by LaPushComesToShove reviews
Edward Cullen and his girlfriend Angela Webber love to pick on Bella Swan. After a tragic car accident, Edward falls for Bella, but she thinks he is being nice to her because of pity. Will Bella ever realize Edward is not so bad? All human. Rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,319 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/22/2011 - Published: 4/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Truth or Dare High School Friends by TWILIGHT LOVERR OFICIALL reviews
Bella, Edward and the rest of the cullens are attending to Forks high school. One day, the students stay locked in school because of a snow storm and they start playing truth or dare. Very embarassing. Bella is still human, but is engaged to Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,965 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Agent 00hot by maxandmo reviews
Edward, is a hot F.B.I. Agent who is immediately drawn to Bella, the Parole Officer, who happens to be a magnet for ridiculous situations. Rated M for bad words and lemons. AH/Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 127,833 - Reviews: 1776 - Favs: 1,564 - Follows: 773 - Updated: 1/25/2011 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
When She Smiles by l'heure bleue reviews
Alice and Jasper have always been friends. First kiss at five, ”I love you” at six — and a terrible tragedy before they'd even begun high school. Can the love the share overcome the fear, and the pain? ”Daddy," he cried. ”Don't hurt me…” — COTN SIDE-STORY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 59,639 - Reviews: 5466 - Favs: 1,070 - Follows: 1,163 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Alice, Jasper
La Push'n And Love'n by TwiHard24 reviews
Sequel to La Push Me Off A Cliff. Alex and Paul are just starting their new life together. New job, new family, new laughs. What happens when someone comes along and tries to ruin it? Lots of fluff and really funny. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT SM DOES!READ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 69,774 - Reviews: 823 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Paul
The Three Of Us by JacobBlackMoon reviews
Nessie Cullen is the one woman from Jacob's and Paul's past that got away. The one woman they'd both been in love with, and now they both want her back. Together, they seduce Nessie. But in the end, Nessie will have to decide which one she wants—AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 50,241 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 5/4/2010 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Newest Cullen Addition by ambessa4eva reviews
It is 6 years post Breaking Dawn. Jacob and Nessie are finally a couple. But when they get carried away one night, could the consequence be another member of the Cullen family?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,271 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Holy Crow, My Soul Mate Glitters! by Velvet Liquor reviews
When Bella Swan meets sparkly Edward Cullen, her life turns upside down. As she falls deeply in love with the boy she met only two days ago, she realizes love *COUGH*lust*COUGH* always comes with a heavy price to pay, including hungry hobo vampires.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,660 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/8/2009 - Published: 5/11/2008
I'm Back by It's a Wolf Thinga reviews
When Rose comes back for Adrian
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 6,812 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Adrian I., Rose H. - Complete
The Waitress by TwiHard24 reviews
“It’s caviar,” I told her easily.A-dur.“I know that, but what is it?” she snapped. Well Miss Priss, I don’t really like your attitude.“Unborn fish spawn,” I told her just as she took a bite into it.One connecting door, 3 boys, and 3 girls. AH B/E A/J R/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,974 - Reviews: 519 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 10/18/2009 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
No Way by TwiHard24 reviews
Ah! The monkey stole my bananas!""Don't let the squirrel touch my nuts!""My wand! I thought Esme threw it away after I tried to shove it down Jasper's throat!" The Cullen's are back to school. Can Bella resist helping Emmett with his pranking? Hilarious!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,740 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 3/7/2009 - Emmett, Bella
Consummation Outtake Second Honeymoon by Mizra reviews
“Edward,” she breathed, rugged and sensuously. I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful voice calling my name in heated passion. Or calling my name at all, for that matter."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,529 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Torn by LaPushComesToShove reviews
Edward left Bella and she married Mike. Edward comes back. How will he respond to Bella and Mike? Rated T just to be safe. Discountinued.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,781 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Lessons Learned by LaPushComesToShove reviews
Bella never jumped. 2 years later, Jake proposes to Bella. She accepts. Along the way, Jacob imprints on a girl named Emma. Bella is crushed. Will Bella ever recover from 2 fatal breakups? "Jake," I whispered. "Don't do this to me. Please. Please...."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,372 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fallen by LaPushComesToShove reviews
Sam's break up with Leah. Leah POV. One shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,050 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Leah
Blood PromiseSpirit Bound by Tay Vamp reviews
Rose is on a mission to save Dimitri. But things are going wrong when she fights. She is gaining new Shadow-Kissed powers after she makes kills. Will she be able to keep her promise to Dimitri or will she fail because of her powers?
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,455 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Rose H., Dimitri B.
Anything On Wheels by Out-of-order123 reviews
ONE-SHOT 'He could drive anything on wheels.' So, Steve wondered if he really could.
Outsiders - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,121 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Steve R. - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 8928 - Favs: 15,016 - Follows: 3,142 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Emmet Goes Blind by Eyes for Eternity reviews
Rated T for a reason. Emmett's personality in this fic is very...perverted. Just forwarning. Very fluffeh. Kinda. More lemony. Emmett goes blind on one of his boredom quests. You'll never guess why. R/R. Peace!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Arachnophobia by Phish Tacko reviews
Arachnophobia: Noun. A fear of spiders. Because Edward Cullen is probably secretly a big baby when it comes to spiders.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 590 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Edward
La Push Me Off A Cliff by TwiHard24 reviews
He was getting milk-I was getting milk. We bonded over dairy products," I said mockingly. She rolled her eyes. "You make everything sound so stupid." PaulxOC Give it a shot. Hilarious-ness, surprising twists, and fluff. R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 73,751 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 588 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 3/19/2009 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Paul
Practice Session by spikescrypt reviews
Dimitri and Rose get in a practice session. A Vampire Academy Fanfiction.
Vampire Academy - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 837 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 33 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Complete
Mommy's Letter by l'heure bleue reviews
It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it. I moved on, Edward, just like you asked. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,912 - Reviews: 611 - Favs: 614 - Follows: 97 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Oops? by l'heure bleue reviews
—3: Rock Hard— "Rock HARD ON... get it?" It was on a normal day that I almost died for the second time. Or ... as normal a day as humanly – haha! Humanly ... – possible at the Cullen house.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,430 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 5/6/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sex Education With Emmett by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Emmett gives Bella the sex talk. One-shot Rated for safety. Winner of Best One-Shot short for Twilight Awards.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,024 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 741 - Follows: 107 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Complete
It's Gonna Be Love by l'heure bleue reviews
”Don't ever leave me again,” I said, my voice breaking as a single tear slid down my face... Edward and Bella dance. /Slight AU/
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,002 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 30 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Victoria's Secret Pajamas by spikescrypt reviews
Edward really likes the pajamas that Bella's mom got her, he decides to show her just how much.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,093 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/12/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mike's Friendly Visit reviews
Hey Bells!" . . . "Gotta go, Newton. I'm-- I'm going through a tunnel." Smooth, Bella. Real smooth. . . “But, Bells. You don't have any tunnels in your hou--” SCREW YOU, MIKE NEWTON!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,688 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 12/19/2009 - Bella, Mike
Mike's Friendly Visit old version reviews
This is an older story of mine. I'm rewriting it now. Just look out for it teehee
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 3,534 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/18/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Mike, Bella
My Heart Told Me To reviews
Paul went into Wal-Mart to get food and . . . TAMPONS? He came out with a huge grin and a girl's number. Lynn is new in town. Who is this new mysterious girl? What is she trying to hide?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,044 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Paul
Happy at Last? reviews
Leah has always been bitter; She has never had a successful relationship, and she THOUGHT she couldn't Imprint. What happens when she meets Ben at Sonic? “Oh. My. God. Leah! It finally happened!” Jacob squealed. Btw: Not regular Ben. I made this guy up
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,052 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Leah
Fairy Stories: Werewolf Style reviews
I have an idea. I hope it works out. Help please. It's going to be realllly long. Review and tell me which you like.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie
Saturday Game Night reviews
The Cullen family tries to make it a ritual that they all come together on Saturday and play games. The odd games that are soon to be played freighten even me, and I'm a freak. I'm such a freak, I'll kill you in your sleep if you don't review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,363 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Emmett, Bella
The Cullen's Vocabulary reviews
Emmett misunderstands Rose's rule and goes thirty-two days 'without any Rose'. It nearly kills him. One-shot probably.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie
Discovering FanFiction reviews
Jasper finds FF through FP and gets addicted. Alice makes moves to help him with it, but he doesn't want help. "So you're choosing FanFiction over me?" "Well. . . ."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Jasper, Alice
NOT IN PUBLIC reviews
The Cullens go get a haircut and almost do the dirty on the sidewalk. I'll send Mike to do the dirteh on you AND your mommah.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009
An Average Day in the Life for the Cullens reviews
Alice and Jasper fight about his butt. Nessie walks in on Edward and Bella. ON A STICKKK. if you've heard jeff dunham, u might like this. Emmett and Rose have peach fights. Sorry about not clarifying. In ch.10, his job is on a sex line. sowwieees
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,675 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009
Special Nights reviews
Emmett has some skeletons in his closet. He finds FanFiction and realizes his skeletons aren't in his closet anymore. I will tell everyone your secrets. If you don't want me to, then review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 689 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Edward, Emmett
REVERSE PEDOPHILIA! reviews
Renesemee invites her friend over for a party. The friend, Tia, is...into the older guys if you know what I mean. Hence the title. I don't know if i want to continue this plot, so i didn't write much. I'll send a pedophile after you if you don't review
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,127 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Emmett
I Need Help reviews
Ok.. I have some ideas for a new story. just need some imput. tell me how the things are. what to add/take away. pleaseeeee
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 306 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009
Fluffeh reviews
Bella and Edward are just messing around; Jacob walks in. Jacob and Nessie's Fluffeh Moments are in here too. Tell me if i should just give up writing and stop or if i should continue. please. BY REVIEWING. NOT PM, PLEASE. btw,im wanting to do them all.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Edward, Bella
Dry Ice? reviews
Jacob and Nessie get in trouble with Edward... When you review, I'll take you off my hit list.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,066 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Bad Songs reviews
Emmett has bad songs on his iPod and tries to show them to Alice subtly. If you review, I'll love you forever.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Emmett, Alice
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