Jenni-vampire
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Joined 04-19-09, id: 1907209, Profile Updated: 07-10-12
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Hey, read my stuff. Also read these weird things here, they're quite funny

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:!...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And...I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!!...)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof!

I rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something I'm not.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Procrastinate NOW!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed

I don't care if you insult me, but at least use correct grammer and spelling.

You know you live in 2007 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

ELEVATOR LIST XD

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut UP!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
Meow occasionally.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
Play the harmonica.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
Blow spit bubbles.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
Make chalk drawings on the walls.
As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, darn it!"
Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

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Only You Can Save Me by DamonsDarkness reviews
Sometimes life can be cruel and take the ones you love away from you. When Edward moves to Forks the last thing he wants is attention, especially from girls. But what happens when 1 girl in particular captures his heart... Can he ignore her? E/B human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 44,657 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 1/25/2013 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
Moving, Makeovers and More by KayleighGamban reviews
The new neighbours,Edward&Alice move in next to the Swans bella,emmett&jake Bella is a tomboy and Alice thinks its time for a makeover. with sparks fly with edward an bella?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 31,599 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 8/29/2012 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Cullen's girl by Elmo13 reviews
I shivered from the longing while she shivered from the cold. It was intoxicating. Her hair smelled like raspberries. This was wrong, she was my best friend. AH Canon
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 55 - Words: 91,407 - Reviews: 2279 - Favs: 974 - Follows: 802 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Bella, Edward
Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3115 - Favs: 1,741 - Follows: 551 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
Unexpected Happiness by Hawkesey reviews
Eighteen years have passed since the events of Breaking Dawn. The Cullen's have just moved back to Forks, and Bella is taken ill. The only problem? Vampires don't get ill! What's wrong with her? All shall be revealed in Unexpected Happiness
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 26,892 - Reviews: 451 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
How It Starts by yeahyeahnevernever reviews
Bella and Edward have known each other since they were young. . Edward realizes Bella is right for him. but one party will change their lives forever. all human.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 50,258 - Reviews: 375 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 8/26/2010 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Starting Anew by Amanda Lily Potter reviews
Bella moves to Forks to get away from a difficult situation where she lives with her mom, and while with her dad she meeets some new people who truly seem to care about her and look out for her ALL HUMAN, AU, B/E, R/Em, A/J and rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 76,494 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bad boy Edward needs to be taught a lesson. So his teachers come up with a plan- ‘marry’ him to the best behaved girl in school! How will his ego survive spending ‘eternity’ with Bella Swan! Little OOC. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 70 - Words: 279,341 - Reviews: 15805 - Favs: 6,973 - Follows: 3,199 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
You Belong with me by CRAZii-TWiiLiiGHT-FAN reviews
What if you've fallen irrevocably in love with your BFF? Do you tell him? can Bella confess her true feelings to Edward before it's too late? or is it already too late to do anything? All human! XD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 79,596 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Edward, Bella
You Are My Sunshine by nothingatlpersonal reviews
Bella Swan is a normal girl,living in a small coastal town.She loves to surf.One day,a new guy E.C moves to town,quickly hitting the surfing crowd.What will their first impressions be of each other?And what has Bella burried deep beneath the surface?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,544 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Better Together by WakeUpSunshine reviews
SEQUEL TO INTO YOUR ARMS. Must read that first! Five years after Bella and Edward are married. E/B pov's plus L/M pov's.AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 37,518 - Reviews: 626 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 520 - Updated: 4/3/2010 - Published: 5/15/2009
Betrayed by mizzxmay reviews
B&A are BFF, E&J are also BFF, EM&R are the GOLDEN COUPLE. E&J are Mr.Hotshots. B&A secretely admire them but wont admit it. The guys doesnt seem to notice them but everything changes this year. Whether for good or bad, you'll have to read on and find out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 59,858 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 3/25/2010 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Bella, Edward
Cullen Confessions by Ra4chel-the 4 is silent reviews
A list of 100 Twilight Confessions!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 3,378 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Edward - Complete
Hunter by ccl-x reviews
Edward has left Bella for Tanya. James tried to kill her once in Twilight but escaped ALIVE. And now he has cm back for her seeking revenge. My whole story is Twilight and New Moon all in one and not wiht all the parts in it.Its also has other characters
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 19 - Words: 56,932 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 11/8/2009 - Published: 5/1/2009 - Bella, James
A Million More Mistakes by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bella is pregnant with her BFFs brother, Edward. Scared, she moves away but, 5 years later, Edward shows up. As Bella falls for him again, she realises that she has to tell him everything... until he introduces his fiancee... NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 130,436 - Reviews: 4324 - Favs: 2,825 - Follows: 935 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Misadventures of Emmett by Glittercups69 reviews
This is alot of short stories about non-other than Emmett! they are all pretty funny and the ideas for them came from storied on here and from friends and my own brain power lol enjoy and don't forget to R/R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,506 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/15/2009 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Emmett
Golden Moon by NusiainForks reviews
Bella doesn't fall apart after Edward leaves, especially when she discovers Jasper stayed behind. But with Alice waiting for Jasper in Alaska, will Bella find new love or be abandoned again? BxJas AU/OOC Bellie Award Nominee.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 55 - Words: 242,012 - Reviews: 5485 - Favs: 2,627 - Follows: 1,037 - Updated: 9/22/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
In Love and War by MandyLeigh87 reviews
Sequel to Blackout. Bella moves back to Charlie's farm after an unexpected heartbreak to find a not-so-happy surprise waiting for her, Edward working as a farm hand for her dad. Love/Hate/Drama/Humor ensues. AH. B/E. Bella and Edward POV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 58,708 - Reviews: 1277 - Favs: 877 - Follows: 521 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cold Moon by Jhs Rockerbaby reviews
Four years after BD. The Cullens are in a new town. They are all attending school again. Their new teacher happens to be Angela, and she is hiding a secret and the Volturi are planning another attack. New Chapter. The battle is on! THE STORY'S FINISHED!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,078 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 8/14/2009 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Illusion of Sanity by Brindalyn reviews
When Bella's husband hires Edward Cullen as her new law firm partner she finds out just how much her marriage is missing, but how far is Bella willing to go to find the kind of love she wants and needs? Is she strong enough to take a chance on Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 206,875 - Reviews: 1371 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 8/13/2009 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Edward - Complete
The Best Of Dreaded Moves by Grace'Cullen.x reviews
All human, bella is 15, and her 2 older siblings are rosalie and emmett. Bella and her family move to forks and meet the cullens, followed by an unexpected series of events. please read and review, sorry i suck at summaries.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 35 - Words: 39,106 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Bella
Can I forget tragedy? by twilightsimsfan02 reviews
Bella has had problems with boy relationships lately. She has officially decided that she will no longer get into any relationships with any new guys. But when Edward shows up, can bella keep him out? what will happen if she doesnt? ExB! All Human!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,225 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008
Blackout by MandyLeigh87 reviews
All human, Edward and Bella POV. Edward and Bella live in two different worlds, even though they live next to each other. Things get complicated when Edward, the leather jacket wearing cigarette smoking rebel falls for the girl next door.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 99,410 - Reviews: 1448 - Favs: 1,937 - Follows: 689 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
College by kstevens reviews
Bella Swan and her brother,Emmett just moved to Weston,Fl. She is going to start college.in college she meets her soon to be best friend,Alice cullen.Bella has heard about Edward Cullen,Alice's brother,but when she meets him she is blown away all-human.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 33 - Words: 25,261 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 3/7/2009 - Bella, Edward
Breaking Dawn Continuation by MrsAimeePattinson reviews
This is my first fan fic so please give it a try! Have you ever wondered what happened to Bella,Edward.Nes,Jacob,The Wolfs,The Cullens and Charlie after BD then read and find out! I know summary sucks but I promise story is much better
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,105 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/30/2009 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Complete
A Second Chance by embella reviews
Bella moves to Seattle after the death of her parents. She lost everything that day and her life couldn’t get any worse. Thinks start looking up when she moves in with three guys and finds love. AH/AU Canon. I own nothing. T for now.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,381 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 5/5/2009 - Bella, Edward
Desires of the Heart by torrick reviews
Nessie has grown into a beautiful young woman, in love with her best friend, Jacob. Nessie and Jacob realize they love each other, but only after Nessie flirts with Justin, a guy at school. Justin becomes obsessed with Nessie. Can Jacob keep Nessie safe?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 25,080 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 6/20/2009 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Love's Sunrise by Happy Bells reviews
Sparks fly when Bella meets a handsome stranger at her birthday party. What happens when she finds out he's her best friend's brother and they're now living in the same house? Is love in the air for a devestated Bella? All Human. Feel good romance. BxEd
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 63,079 - Reviews: 892 - Favs: 811 - Follows: 366 - Updated: 6/16/2009 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
High Noon by MemoriesNeverFade reviews
The continuation. . . set after Breaking Dawn. This is my first story so any constructive criticism would be great. Rated T just to be safe. Regular pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,262 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/27/2009 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Bella, Edward
Into Your Arms by WakeUpSunshine reviews
AU AH Bella is busy trying to support her and her sixteen year old son. She was never expecting her son's father to return to Forks after leaving before their child was born. Now she has to face him; tell him the lie she's held for so long.ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 102,300 - Reviews: 1481 - Favs: 1,139 - Follows: 548 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Our Best Accident by jess-luvs-music reviews
All Human. Bella and her brother Jasper move to Forks after getting tired of Phil. But will everything go as planed, or will she have to go back to mom and step-dad.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 50,849 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 5/20/2009 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
15 Ways to give Edward a heart attack by Twilightlover1518 reviews
Does this even need a summary? I mean come on, the title says it all ;D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Edward - Complete
Moving On Twilight by RebekahLeiigh reviews
Basically i have left of from the point int he film where the ballet inncident has left bella in hospital and instead of prom ectt i have done it so bella moves in with the cullens.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 934 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/10/2009 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Edward, Bella
Pristine Dusk by Stillgoldenheart reviews
Life after Breaking Dawn. This is my version of the fifth non-existant book- Pristine Dusk. Jacob is in love with Renesmee and wishes to spend the rest of his life with her. But is that possible? My first Fanfiction! Don't hurt me! Reviews please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,903 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Realize by Goo82 reviews
Edward is a hot up and coming actor and Bella is his ever faithful best friend and personal assistant. Bella's feeling for Edward have changed, but he is oblivious to her feelings. With the help of her friends, will she get the courage to tell him...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 101,506 - Reviews: 5454 - Favs: 7,844 - Follows: 2,167 - Updated: 2/19/2009 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
We'll make this last forever reviews
Laurent walked closer towards me. His eyes turned darker with each step. I held my breath and shut my eyes, no one could save me now, I braced myself for his attack. I opened my eyes in time to see blonde figure running across the meadow and ripping Laurent to shreds in an instant. It couldn't be him, could it? - Takes place during New Moon after Edward left. Rated T, may change
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,562 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 7/23/2012 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Bella, Jasper