Abra Cadaverous
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 04-21-09, id: 1909279, Profile Updated: 07-01-11
Author has written 10 stories for Naruto, and One Piece.

The icon says it best. Bear with me, something will eventually kick my rear into gear.

-x-

"Meyer is an excellent writer when it comes to writing about kitchen appliances. Which is why Edward kind of reminds me of my fridge: Big, sparkly, and very, very full of shit."
-Anonymous.

-x-

I am fully aware that my stories are not inspired, fantastical works of fanfiction.
I am also aware that they are still a helluva a lot better than half the stuff out there, as I at least make attempts at continuity, try to keep things grammatically correct, bother to use spellcheck when in doubt, and am not afraid to use a dictionary.
This is a hobby for me, not a lifestyle. You will probably never see a novel-length fanfiction from this author, because I am just not that awesome.
Constructive criticism is, and will always be welcome. However, if your review looks like this: "Tis st0ry suks!!11! u fail1!!" It will be ignored. So far I've been blessed, in that I've never been flamed for my stories, but I presume that it is coming. Someday. Especially with some of the fics I've got planned.

-x-

I do hereby swear that my OCs will never, ever be paired with (insert author, TV show etc.)'s characters. With the exception that they will break up, or turn out to be evil later. So help me.

-x-

Pairing respect is a beautiful thing.

-x-

You know, I'm fine, but I hear those voices at night...

-x-

I will let you know now that I am one of the worst reviewers in the world.

-x-

Obviously it's been a hella long time since I've uploaded or written anything here. I'm not going to delete my account or anything drastic like that; it's just that I've shfited fandoms in a large-ish way. I'm still going to try to write and upload One Piece fics, but don't expect too much, you will be disappointed. I may also write and upload some Harry Potter fics, if I can ever finish them.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Narcotic by Volpone reviews
Taken for pleasure; can become powerfully addictive. Akatsuki. Sakura. Crack.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,429 - Reviews: 637 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 508 - Updated: 7/13/2012 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Monochrome by Ninja Shen reviews
No evil is pure black, and no good is pure white. Nekozawa x Haruhi
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 65,337 - Reviews: 879 - Favs: 1,023 - Follows: 1,040 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 8/6/2006 - Haruhi F., U. Nekozawa
160 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by Cliodhna reviews
160 tales of rules Fred and George broke during their time at Hogwarts. Ten new tales including 'I will not refer to Hagrid as the BFG, even if I think he secretly likes it,' and 'I will not pay Peeves to rewrite the school song.' R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,306 - Reviews: 644 - Favs: 1,146 - Follows: 506 - Updated: 5/23/2012 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Fred W., George W.
Lucky by armyofgnomes reviews
Hichigo sees her every day, but only Ichigo can touch her, and when she meets their eyes, she only sees the King. It may be fate, but Hichigo will do his best to change it and get her to notice him. 'Sweet' Hichiruki, slight Ichiruki.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,341 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 4/7/2012 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Rukia K., Dark Ichigo
Mindshattered by Velkyn Karma reviews
Sanji knew how difficult it was to survive the hell that was starvation. What he hadn't expected was that he'd need to get his nakama through it, too. Features Zoro and Sanji; Nakamaship, no pairings. Complete.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 17 - Words: 105,238 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 10/31/2010 - Published: 9/10/2010 - Sanji, Zoro - Complete
Prayer of a Refugee by Crazed Individual reviews
Kurosaki Ichigo is the most wanted cowboy in all of Karakura. What happens when during a robbery, he makes the stupid mistake of kidnapping Kuchiki Byakuya's little sister? What has he gotten himself into? IchiRuki Western
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Western/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 51,830 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
Moon's Fang by lazyllama-xx reviews
Kuchiki Rukia is a princess who was kidnapped at her wedding by pirates. She's now stuck on a 4-month voyage across sea with the most frustrating person she can think of...
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 50,178 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
Kiss Kiss by dandy wonderous reviews
Sanji meets a beautiful woman who actually loves him... and then his crewmates inexplicably start getting attacked. NOT SanjixOC. Expect violence and lots of angst. SaNa later, lots of general nakamaship. COMPLETE!
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Horror/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 45,621 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Sanji, Nami - Complete
Complementary Circumstances by Caya Strife reviews
A Collection of Drabbles and One Shots revolving around Zoro and Nami; at times romantically inclined, sometimes pure nakamaship. #1 Mask: While battling with harsh words, it seems the swordsman and the navigator share a silent understanding.
One Piece - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,742 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Zoro, Nami
Blended Strawberries by JadeRent reviews
Throw Ichigo, Rukia, and Renji inside a blender and what do you get? Oh the humanity! This is a collection of one-shots, drabbles and short stories centered around IchiRuki. Read for smoothie goodness. Or boredom, that works too.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 17,928 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 3/14/2010 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
a lack of color by rawrchelle reviews
Sasuke/Sakura. She had a kunai. He had a face. Oh, the possibilities…
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,888 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 20 - Published: 3/14/2010 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Unsought by forthright reviews
Naraku is dead. The Jewel is complete. The quest is over. Everyone is ready for their long awaited 'happily ever after', but Fate has one last twist in store. Sometimes the ending you find is not the one you were looking for. COMPLETE.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 106,482 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 10/1/2007 - Miroku, Kagome H. - Complete
How to Annoy CP9 by lizloveschibis reviews
The title says it all...
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,359 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Lucci, Jyabura - Complete
Til You Feel It All Around You by Tonko reviews
Zoro, Usopp, and Robin don't return as expected from a foray into an island forest. After setting out to locate them, the rest of the crew finds their nakama each missing significant portions of their whole lives.
One Piece - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 57,741 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/1/2009
Before The Dawn by Lady Silvamord reviews
Fifteen-year-old Sakura never expected to become a traitor to her village, but in a Konoha ruled by Danzou, she has no other choice. Finding her path entangling with the village's most infamous renegade, though, was another story entirely. ItaSaku AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 250,455 - Reviews: 1808 - Favs: 1,734 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
A Chef's Hands by dandy wonderous reviews
An attack on Sanji's life leaves him without the use of his hands. How can he be a chef without them? Rated T for violence and language. COMPLETE! With extra SaNa goodness in the epilogue!
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,435 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/29/2009 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Sanji - Complete
Fatally Ironic by The Beached Pirate reviews
So much for Nami and seeing if maybe, just maybe, he had a shred of humanity left. Zoro on love, death, and the pain they both bring. Sequel to Romantically Cliche.
One Piece - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,324 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Zoro, Nami - Complete
Devirginization by rawrchelle reviews
Neji/Sakura. Admittedly, he was a man. And, admittedly, he had hormones. But that didn’t necessarily mean that their romance started because he accidentally touched her boob. For Itachi’s Only Love.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,828 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Neji H., Sakura H. - Complete
On the Alteration of Species by olafpriol reviews
The strawhats are suprised find themselves in the spotlight of a rather unusual show, but is the magic act they are involved in as innocent as it seems? A little SaNa, but just a good old One Piece romp in general.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 61,618 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Sanji, Nami - Complete
Sticky Situation by ZeldaAddict42 reviews
Four members of the Straw Hat crew are forced into a bonding experience. Pun totally intended! Rated T for language and relatively mild naughty humor.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,479 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 1/19/2009 - Complete
Evaluations by KF fan reviews
If someone did psychological evaluations of the Teen Titans, what would they say? How would it ever come up?
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 68,682 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Complete
The Strawberry Confessional by Verboten Byacolate reviews
Ichigo/Rukia. Age knows not love. "You need to stop using Yuzu's shampoo, Ichigo. You smell fruity." No, that's wrong: Love knows not age. Yes. That's it. Pt. 4: A day, a request, an arrangement, a dress, and still no chocolate in sight.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,229 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 1/29/2009 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Ichigo K., Rukia K. - Complete
Two Sides Of A Coin by MimixTHExDeceitful reviews
It was just like any other day except for the fact that Ichigo's hollow has been more active lately. Rukia gets injured and Ichigo's hollow manages to seperate the two of them in soul and body. What happens when she's stuck in between? IchiRuki; HichiRuki
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 31,129 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
Brainless by rawrchelle reviews
Itachi/Sakura. Non-massacre. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d been told she was stupid. But when Itachi calls her stupid, and so close to Christmas, it’s almost unbearable.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,694 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond by Wyntermute reviews
Naruto had been bragging all day that his new jutsu was his best yet. Sakura and her new situation beg to differ. Post timeskip. DeiSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 82,879 - Reviews: 1328 - Favs: 1,659 - Follows: 636 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Sakura H., Deidara - Complete
Me & Mr 3 by Comic Freaks United reviews
Usopp discovers a dirty magazine in Zoro's boot, revealing Zoro's disturbing fetish with the number 3. No pairings really. rated for MANKINIS. :O
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 559 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Zoro, Usopp - Complete
My Fine Feathered Friend by Lixxle reviews
A tale about a gender-confused, fashion-conscious goblin, a chicken of destiny, and leather pants. Oh and a good dash of ol' fashioned romance and some adult-type touching thrown in for good measure. JS. Not a crackfic, just a really caffeinated author...
Labyrinth - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 86,205 - Reviews: 952 - Favs: 1,215 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 5/10/2008 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Complete
Escape From Akatsuki Castle by Ninjagrrl reviews
Sakura, Sai and Akatsuki centric crack fic. Akatsuki are getting just a bit sick of finding pink haired medic nins chained up in their dungeons, not that anyone ever asks their opinion. And things only get weirder when Sai shows up to the rescue.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,877 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 20 - Published: 12/15/2007 - Sakura H., Sai - Complete
Full Wolf Moon by Fushigi Kismet reviews
Rukia had never been particularly fond of dogs, but Sodeno Shirayuki was a wolf.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,929 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/29/2007 - Rukia K.
Reflections by olafpriol reviews
On a calm day after escaping from the metropolis of Water Seven the strawhats find themselves in unusual circumstances of weather and fortune, but are unaware as to the toll their circumstances will have on a certain blondehaired chef...
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,164 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/19/2007 - Sanji, Nami - Complete
Eyes Open by Wyntermute reviews
Once when Ino still had her teenage fascination with horoscopes and beauty magazines, her teammates had taken her to a fortune teller for her birthday.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Ino Y., Chōji A. - Complete
Protecting Killers by MoonVeil reviews
In order to keep Orochimaru from gaining the power of the mangekyo sharingan, Sakura must protect Uchiha Itachi. The blind Uchiha Itachi.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,065 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 6/5/2007 - Published: 4/7/2007 - Sakura H., Itachi U.
Troubling New Developments by SicTransitGloria reviews
Kakashi takes a moment to wrap his mind around equating Ino’s chest with enemy shinobi while Asuma begins beating his head against the table and groaning about how he didn’t sign up for this. Rated for language and the general horror that is puberty
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,149 - Reviews: 487 - Favs: 2,479 - Follows: 232 - Published: 4/8/2007 - Kakashi H., Asuma S. - Complete
Chivalry is Dead by ObscureAnimeWriter reviews
OneShot, crack. “Man, you killed Ishida...” IshiHime.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,766 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Uryuu I., Orihime I. - Complete
Love Thy Enemy by RedNovember reviews
[ZK AU] The mighty Fire Empire rules the entire world, after they conquered it a century ago. Now, almost a hundred years later, a tiny tribe of rebels have sent Katara, an undercover assassin, to kill the Fire Emperor Zuko.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 136,905 - Reviews: 1822 - Favs: 1,659 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 3/26/2006 - Published: 7/17/2005 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Delirium by Vespera reviews
During the Going Merry's desperate search for a doctor, Sanji's concern for Nami drives him to distraction.
One Piece - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,750 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Published: 2/3/2006 - Complete
Guilty Pleasure by Nostalgia Nut reviews
More over the fact that a cause leads to an effect, Nonetheless, that was the case... ZoroxNami [ONE SHOT]
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Spiritual/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,315 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Published: 10/28/2005 - Complete
The Incident of Nami's Skirt by S. Sakurai reviews
Nami suffers a case of gluteousmaximitis, and chaos descends in this silly, silly story.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/30/2005 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Painting Circles in the Sky reviews
A collection of Strawhat stories. Gen/alternate pairings, canon/AU/etc. K through T. 5. Nami, Kureha, and Law are lost in the woods. Whatever shall they do?
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,735 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/22/2011 - Published: 11/24/2009
Encore une fois reviews
Zoro. Nami. Again, and again, and again. 6. In which Zoro is defeated by Girl-Scouts. 7. In which Zoro gets hooked. Thirty times, I wish.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,615 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/4/2011 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Zoro, Nami
Cookies reviews
A collection of SaNa drabbles. Rated T for safety. Hypothermia is an overused, but legitimate excuse.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,502 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Nami, Sanji
Cutting the Moon reviews
Because love is an unreasonable thing, and they have got to be one of the most unreasonable couples in One Piece. ZoNa, ZoroxNami.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,744 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Nami, Zoro
Fall Out reviews
It's what happens after the fact. Birthday fic for Dandy Wonderous.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 544 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/19/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Bar Incident reviews
In which Zoro loses something very precious. /Title may change, rated for minor language and alcohol./
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,193 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Nami, Zoro - Complete
Fools reviews
She was drunk. And he was getting there.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 656 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7/2009 - Zoro, Nami - Complete
Manly reviews
Because Usopp's a liar. Because Nami can be a little masculine at times. Because Zoro, for once, knows what he's talking about. Post-Thriller Bark.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Nami, Zoro - Complete
UnNamed reviews
It was purely speculative thinking on my part.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 629 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Nami, Zoro - Complete
Lunch? reviews
Just a short friendship fic I wrote at 1AM. Sakura is busy at the hospital, until the Number-1-Knuckleheaded-Ninja comes to get his head checked out.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete