alimenka
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Joined 04-25-09, id: 1914119, Profile Updated: 02-15-11
Author has written 8 stories for Twilight, Gossip Girl, and Vampire Academy.

So I love twilight and I had an awsome inspiration so... yea

A Real Boyfriend

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you

SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Things guys should know about girls!
Men Need To Understand These Things

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out. (CARDINAL RULE)

2. Don't say you understand when you don't.

3. Girls are petty; get over it. We like to start fights.

4. You don't have PMS, so don't act like you know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me you never will.

5. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

6. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.

7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

8. It's good to be sensitive sometimes.

9. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

10. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it, but it is extremely sweet.

11. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.

12. We are Drama queens; never forget that.

13. Fashion police do exist.

14. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.

15. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

16. We don't shave our legs everyday: get over it.

17. Don't make bets about us; we always find out; you may think we don't know, but WE DO!

18. Shave! No matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it. We like clean-cut men.

19. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.

20. Don't compare us to Pamela Anderson; parts of her are fake, just remember that. (Remember: you have a better shot at us than you ever will have with her.)

21. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

22. We are beautiful at all times.

23. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.

24. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can't you aim in the toilet and not on it.

25. Most importantly: we are always right in one way or another so don't forget that!

26. we have an excuse to act bitchy once a month; you dont

POEMS

Try Not To Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go,But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun,he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend;

That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother;I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy,

I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors;

I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack,I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I have to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry

2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are... Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is if you've falen while going UP stairs and brought some down with you and the started laughing at THEM...and then yourself later. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

EVER WONDER where we are heading...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a Broker?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(And I am taking this...because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(damn, but i have a whole stash in my basement that were just right to process)
On packet of Nobbys' Peanuts:- "Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual. FEAR ME!

"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook

“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

"Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"-

IF YOU EVER'S

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!)

If you have a problem with counselors, copy and paste!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Smile. It confuses people.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiney?

Behold the mighty...chihuahua?

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thnaks for embracing it.

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi & said ‘drink up’
she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along w. scissors & had her cut it up.
she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her earz pierced.
she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that sad "my name is: ALONE."
she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked when he wasnt.

"It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "So, then is it possible the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Lawyer: "But could the patient still have been alive nevertheless?"

Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

Release the object you are currently holding
Allowing gravity to take force upon it
Causing it to fall to the ground
As if said object contained mass quantity of themal energy

translation for those who are not scientifically inclined
"Drop it like it's hot"

30 important things Twilight taught me

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Worst Pickup Lines ever!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

see i am weird which is normal for me, but being normal for me is weird, which i am normally. Meaning that technically i am normal because that is weird for me and i am weird, Get it?

Sad

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart.

Friendship is like peeing yourself: Everyone can see it, but only you can get the warm feeling it gives.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When life gives you lemons, give life a wedgie!!

"Stop, Drop, and Roll" doesn't work in hell

Jesus died for "Myspace" in heaven!!

There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & Those who can't

Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice

Every morning is the dawn of a new error

I used up all my sick days, so I am calling in dead

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out

Ever stop to think, but forget to start again?

Don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out.

If at first you DO succeed, then don't look so astonished

My knight in shinning armor turned out to be a fool in tin foil. (By Lauren :) )

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Education is important. Although, school is another matter entirely.

Music is love in search of words.

Isn't it a cruel idea to have an 's' in 'lisp'?

Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds!

I ran with scissors and lived!

I agree with the dictionary: Girls before Guys, Partying before Studying, and Friends before Love

I don't obsess. I just think intensely.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The knack of flying is attempting to fall... and missing the ground.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone has a weird side. Me and my friends just prefer to make it public.

Somebody needs a happy meal.

Music is like candy, you throw away the rappers.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

If you don't like me, there's nothing I can do. Newsflash honey, I don't live to please you!

We fall for stupid boys, make lots of stupid mistakes, talk really fast, and laugh incredibly loud. But us teenages girl are really good at one thing: Staying strong.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.

When people don't laugh at our jokes, we don't think of it as, "You had to have been there." thing. It's more of a "You would have to be mentally retarded like us" thing.

Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me.

I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

He who smiles in the midst of a tradgedy has found someone to blame it on.

Ways to make sure you're insane: you don't want to know how many times i have done these!!

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk
.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
.

Five days in advance tell your friends you can't go to their party because your not in the mood or have a headache.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"

Why America has some issues...

1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Quotes: Copy and paste the one you most relate to.

1. Don't tell me you don't drag the blade across your wrist and just wish you had the courage to press down.

2. Ask me how many times my heart has been broken. And I will tell you to look to the sky And count all the stars...

3. There's a girl in my mirror Crying tonight. And there's nothing i can say To make her feel alright.

4. I will never regret loving you ...only believing you loved me too

5. I can hold my liquor much longer than my mother ever held me.

6. She refuses to trust anyone, Because she refuses to get hurt again.

7. I'm always the friend never the girlfriend

8. How many times will I break till I shatter ?...8

9. Hold her head up for her, Because she has become to weak, To keep it up herself.

10. Im just the girl standing in the background of all the happy people

11. Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare. And life gets so hard you just don't care. You feel so alone you just sit and cry. Every second you wish you could die. Then you start thinking who would care. If one day they woke up-and you weren't there.

12. Kill her Go ahead Make her dreams come true

13. The scars will tell stories, No one ever dared to read.

14. I always thought it was dumb for him to pick me in the first place. I'm not special, I never was, never will be. He just made me believe I was & hurt me when he finally realized I wasn't.

15. I'm screwing up every little good thing I ever try to do. I was born to lose.

16. When you look in the mirror And don't like what you see You can find out first hand What it's like to be me

17.What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying is the one making you cry

18.Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't see the pain that someone feels

19.The loneliest feeling in the world, to be crying and no one is there for you

20.There's a smile on my face but I don't know why it's there, I put it on to satisfy the people who don't even care.

21.It's like taking me to the highest mountain, showing me the world, and saying this is what I can't have

22.Tired of trying, sick of crying. Yea I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying

23.Sometimes when I say "oh, I'm fine" I want someone to look me in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth"

24.Pain doesn't hurt if it's all you've ever felt

25.The scars on my wrist are proof that people like you do exist

26. It's hard to awnser the question "what's wrong" when nothings right

Last beverage → Juice

Last phone call → my mom

Last song you listened to → Forever and Always

Last time you cried→ A month ago ( I hate crying )

Last text message → Are you coming ot the movies?

HAVE YOU EVER:
Dated someone twice → Yes.

Been cheated on →Yes.

Kissed someone & regretted it → nope

Lost someone special→ Yeah. .

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS:
Purple,Pink,Midnight Blue

IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU:
Made a new friend → Yes.

Fallen out of love → I havnt been in love for a quiet a while

Laughed until you cried → Yes alot

Met someone who changed your life → Yeah

Found out who your true friends were → I always have known that

RANDOM:
Have you kissed anyone on your friend's list → no

How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → all

How many kids do you want to have → two girls and one boy

Do you have any pets → a fish

Do you want to change your name → yes from aliosha to allie

What did you do for your last birthday → went to go see twilight

What time did you wake up today → 7:15

What were you doing at midnight last night → sleeping

Name something you CANNOT wait for→ finally find someone who would love me forever

Last time you saw your father→looking at him

What's one thing you wish you could change→ to many to count

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom →No

What's getting on your nerves right now → Boys inparticular

Most visited web page → facebook

Zodiac sign → Capricorn

Elementary/middle/high school → Carrefour des Jeunes

Hair color → brown with blond streakes

Long or short → long

Are you a freak→ no

Height → 5'10

What do you like about yourself → My eyes

Piercings → just ear lobe

Tattoos → None yet give me time

Righty or lefty → Righty.

FIRSTS :
First surgery → I was 10

First piercing → My ears.

First best friend → can't remember it was in kindergarden

First sport you joined → Volleyball

First pet→ A turtle I was 2.

First vacation → England I was 5 months old

First concert → none i actually wanted to go to

First crush → I don't remember

CURRENTLY :
Eating → Nothing.

Drinking → Nothing.

I'm about to → no clue

Waiting → for something good to finally happen to me I guess

YOUR FUTURE :
Want kids? Yes.

Want to get married? I hope

Careers in mind? singer, actress

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
Lips or eyes → Eyes.

Hugs or kisses → both

Shorter or taller → Taller.

Older or Younger→ Older.

Romantic or spontaneous → Both.

Sensitive or loud → Both.

Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.

Trouble-maker or hesitant → I guess trouble-makers.

HAVE YOU EVER :
Kissed a stranger → no

Lost glasses/contacts → yep

Ran away from home → No.

Broken someone's heart → only once but i did not want to

Been arrested → No.

Turned someone down → Yes.

Cried when someone died → Yes. .

Liked a guy/girl friend → Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
Yourself → no sometimes I feel I'm not good enough

Love at first sight → Yes.

Heaven → I believe heaven is what u make it

Santa Claus → Once upon a time

Kiss on the first date → Depends.

Angels → Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
Is there one person you want to be with right now → I am not sure of my feelings.

Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time → no I'm faithful and unfortinatly easly taken forgranted

Do you believe in God? → he's out there where no clue

Posting this as 100 Truths? → Yes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside.

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE.

4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler.

5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

10.) "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." – Unknown

11.) "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid." – Unknown

12.) "He who laughs last didn't get it." – Unknown

13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

26.) Guns don't kill people. I do.

27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

40.) Did you just call me a bch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

41.) So, you're a cannibal.

42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires

44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke

51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I.

56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.

59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

64.) I do what cheerios tell me.

65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! )

67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...

68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.

73.) 'C' is for cookie!

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24.) Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25.) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26.) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time''

WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love.


IF YOU HATE STEREO TYPES READ AND POST THIS!!

Bold those that fit you!!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed
.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. ( i dont care eigher way )
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST be a great cook.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone
.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I DON'T LIKE to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker
.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

Dan't be an idiot and judges others whe

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"


Girl: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do You Like Me?
Boy: Not Really.
Girl: Do You Want Me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would You Cry If I Left?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would You Live For Me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would You Do Anything For Me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Choose- Me Or Your Life.
Boy: My Life.
The Girl Runs Away In Shock And Pain And The Boy Runs After Her And Says:
The Reason You Never Cross My Mind Is Because Your Always On My Mind
The Reason I Dont Like You Is Because I Love You
The Reason I Dont Want You Is Because I Need You
The Reason I Wouldnt Cry If You Left Is Because I Would Die If You Left
The Reason I Wouldnt Live For You Is Because I Would Die For You
The Reason Im Not Willing To Do Anything For You Is Because I Would Do Everything For You
The Reason I Choose My Life Is Because You Are My Life!
(I found that really sweet!) lol

Girl: Talk to her!
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me...
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell.
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her!
Boy: I tell her that daily.
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem, but he'll
never like me...
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy.
Boy: Oh... she won't like me either
Girl: She does.
Boy: How do you know..?
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You.
Girl: You're right, I dont like you, I love you
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.

OUTFITS

MANHATTAN BEAUTY

CHAPTER 3

BELLA:

(Dress: http://www.cathyocreation.com/images/blue_fashion.jpg)

(Earrings: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_NsdkzFis63g/SJ7WieWqu2I/AAAAAAAAAEk/uicTW4QaPoM/s400/long-diamond-chandelier-earrings.jpg)

(Necklace: http://www.stereosoft.com/images/ma_necklace.jpg)

BLAIRE:

(Dress: http://www.crimsonvision.net/images/roteskleid.jpg)

(Earrings: http://diamondsuk.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/diamonds-uk-diamond-earrings-collection.jpg)

(Necklace: http://www.chrisaire.com/images/heartcase.jpg)

SERENA:

(Dress: http://www.nexteve.com/images/D/F6215a.JPG)

(Earrings: http://www.diamondearringexporters.com/diamond-earrings-large-25000.jpg)

(Necklace: http://www.diamondvues.com/PIAGET20NECKLACE.jpg)

JASPER AND MR VAN DER WOODSEN:

(tux: http://www.ahfashion.com/products_pictures/DB-black-tux.jpg)

Mrs. Van der Woodsen:

(Dress: http://www.splendicity.com/files/400/2008/12/calvin-klein-jade-halter-gown.jpg)

(Earrings: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3364/3242642386_1da6747f42_o.jpg)

(Necklace: http://www.dargate.com/247_auction/247_images/11.jpg).

ROSALIE:

(Outfit: http://www.droppunt.com/images/rebecca-twigley-brownlow-dress-4.jpg)

ALICE:

(Outfit:http://www.nexteve.com/images/D/F6335a.jpg)

ESME:

(Outfit: http://media.photobucket.com/image/white20gown/NrllAless/blog/news/oscars2007/oscars_jennifer_lopez.jpg)

EMMETT, EDWARD AND CARLISLE:

(Outfit: http://www.ahfashion.com/products_pictures/enz0-2b-PL-S.jpg)


Two worlds Collide

Princessa Isabella: http://bigfunkenyanwedding.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/princess.jpg

Princessa Rosalie:http://www.romance-fire.com/pictures/favourite20bridal20gown2005.jpg

Princpessa Alice: http://img.alibaba.com/photo/51308236/Formal_Ball_Gown.jpG

Your royal hignesses Esme and Renné (Esme 3rd dress in 3rd row. Renné 2nd dress in 1st row): http://www.jkdress.com/?gclid=CNrc9sGD6psCFSQMDQodS0Fb6A


A BOOK BY IT'S COVER

chapter 1

Bella's car in forks:http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.gothamdreamcars.com/images/Ferrari/ferrari-f430-spider-1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gothamdreamcars.com/new-york-city/ferrari-F430-spider-rental.htm&usg=_XblpAAG4g3y-X3h--Z7mCpQyLOg=&h=416&w=647&sz=146&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=dUrQAldYpSJWMM:&tbnh=88&tbnw=137&prev=/images3Fq3DFerrari26hl3Den26client3Dsafari26rls3Den26sa3DX26um3D1

Bella's Shoes: http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/d5/d/AAAAAi5giKcAAAAAANXaEw.jpg

Bella's first dress: http://cdn.is.bluefly.com/mgen/Bluefly/prodImage.ms?productCode=300552001&width=340&height=408

Bella's second dress: http://persistentillusion.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/sexy-dress.jpg


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ticking Time Bombs by Daerwyn reviews
Edward left and Bella moves to Phoenix. She's changed, for the better and worse. When she gets busted for street racing, Renee sends her to La Push with Charlie and Sue. She meets her new object of affection and starts life new. Then the Cullen's arrive.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 32,966 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 2/18 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Nate: Bella's Untold Past and Secrets by TwilightLuver-BabyDoll98225 reviews
Bella lied to Edward when she said she never had a boyfriend. His name's Nate and they something happened in Phoenix. Well Nate's now in Forks. Can Bella hide her past or will her secret come out. Set after New Moon. Slight AU Full summeray inside.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 50 - Words: 200,611 - Reviews: 749 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 12/4/2012 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Bella
The Army Brat and the Badass by crazy chick to the nines reviews
Bella the army brat, Edward the badass, What happens when and army brat and a badass mix? better summary inside M for me being paranoid DISCLAIMER: S.M. OWNS ALL!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 81,964 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 11/20/2011 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
God Gave Me You by carrie.grace.lawrence reviews
Bella got over Edward when he left. Now in college to be a nurse, with a part time job at the communtity hopsital. Gossip gets to Forks that a Cullen has gotten a divorce and one is back in town to sweep Bella's heart away once again. Who is it? pls read
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 68,024 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 9/27/2011 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
A Mess You Could Sell by ladyinblue6 reviews
Bella's always had a big crush on Emmett Cullen. With a little help from Edward, her gay best friend, and Alice, her go-to girl for fashion, Bella devises a plan on how to win Emmett Cullen's heart, even though it's clear Emmett sees her as a sister.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,880 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 30 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Date My Mom by Crash Hale reviews
Emmett and Bella have been best friends for a long time. Bella's son is positive that the two of them should be together and he's not shy in voicing his opinions on the matter. AH. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,680 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 61 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Sanity by Hikari102490 reviews
Sequel to Insanity. Bella has been gone for two years! What happens when she returns to Forks? What sort of surprises are in store for Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,085 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 11/1/2010 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Bella, Edward
Unavoidable Circumstances by teamjacobrulez reviews
At 5, Bella's already been bullied by Paul. She leaves in desperation to get away from it all. Years later, she's back with everyone knowing who she is, except Paul. He's imprinted on her but is choosing to ignore it. Would she even accept it? Will he?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 39,657 - Reviews: 424 - Favs: 545 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 10/7/2010 - Published: 12/29/2009 - [Bella, Paul] - Complete
What was he thinking? by Mrstrentreznor reviews
AU: Paul's POV of "What was she doing?" - a scary glimpse inside the mind of Paul; warning: contains teen sex, drinking and foul foul language - contains SPOILERS for WWSD - so read that one FIRST!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 46,380 - Reviews: 822 - Favs: 610 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 6/29/2010 - [Paul, Bella] - Complete
Companion by PacificRomance reviews
Blair Waldorf was destined to rule, no matter where she was, and Chuck Bass was always right there beside her, helping her achieve everything she ever wanted.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 46,672 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Blair, Chuck - Complete
He wasn't by TnmElovr reviews
Bella is on the run from the man who killed her parents when she is found by the wolf pack. They take her in and protect her, but they know little about her past. A past that is dark, horrible, and deadly. Summary sucks but please give this story a try
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 25 - Words: 38,428 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
We Belong by Lucyferina reviews
Bella/Paul imprinting story.'His eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. She didn't back down, he could go to hell if he thought that she would show him fear.'COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 65,425 - Reviews: 1751 - Favs: 1,762 - Follows: 788 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Come What May by Knblair86 reviews
Imprint story! Bella gets more than she bargained for when she confronts Jake. Many bumps along the road, but can Paul and Bella's love survive anything? Cullens, Vitoria, love, hate...Can i friendship survive?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 82,114 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 725 - Follows: 302 - Updated: 7/8/2010 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Suspicion by Loren Sebastian reviews
My version of suspicion by Kate Brian. Will Reed survive being pushed off the boat or will her stalker officially win? My first fanfiction Discontinued as of 17th March
Private - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 23 - Words: 20,554 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 6/26/2009
White Wolf by Q u e e n V a m p reviews
The Pack is dealing with a lone wolf that has been in their territory. At the same time Victoria is running wild around Washington and being chased by the white wolf. Who is the wolf? And where is Bella? /Complete/
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 25,014 - Reviews: 645 - Favs: 868 - Follows: 446 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Swan Dive by BellaFlan reviews
Answer is: A failed attempt at suicide, a clumsy imprint, a sad reference to Don Quixote, a naked Jacob Black and a horny Bella Swan. Question is: What is BellaFlan's SOB Rain Scene Challenge. B/J, AU. **INDIE TWIFIC NOMINEE**
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,399 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
Kidnapped by madcowre reviews
Bella and Edward have grown up hating each other, much to the frustration of their parents. But when they are thrown together in a traumatic event, can they put aside their differences to survive and maybe even fall in love. E/B AU AH Lemons,Lang,Dark Th
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 279,420 - Reviews: 5670 - Favs: 6,356 - Follows: 2,114 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fallen Stars by JacksonFrost reviews
Bellatrix. Andromeda. Sirius. Regulus. Narcissa. "The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black has fallen along with the stars."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,086 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/7/2010 - Sirius B., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Speaking Just For Me by JacobFan reviews
I want to be the one to kiss you in public, to say "yeah, that crazy one over there, yeah that's MY girlfriend..." rated M for Lemons people!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,418 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/6/2010 - Leah, Jacob - Complete
Dusk by XxTwilight CrystalxX reviews
Bella comes to Forks the summer before her senior year and meets Jacob first. What will she think of Edward and the rest of the Cullens? Can the wolves keep Bella safe from James and Victoria's twisted plans? Sequel complete, and next installment wip.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 50,127 - Reviews: 746 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Breaking All The Rules by CauseILikeEmHot reviews
Bella is cheating on Edward with one of the werewolves? Who is she cheating with? Read to find out One Shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 18 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Bella - Complete
House by nikkiRA reviews
Oneshot, young!Jacob, Leah and Bella/ “That’s not how you speak to your mother! You’re grounded!” Jacob scolds. Bella’s face is priceless. Leah wants to laugh.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,010 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Jacob, Leah - Complete
Gym Class by BlairCorneliaBass reviews
Chuck and Blair have some good clean read: dirty fun in school showers after gym class between 1x9 and 1x10 . One shot; smut!
Gossip Girl - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,306 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/18/2009 - Chuck, Blair - Complete
Jacob's Baby by LeahAnne reviews
Takes place in the middle of Breaking Dawn. AU. What would have happened if Edward convinced Bella to have Jacob's baby instead of Renesmee? Would it have affected her final decision on who she decided to be with?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 59,268 - Reviews: 897 - Favs: 633 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 9/22/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Football Boys and BrownEyed Girls by beautyrush26 reviews
Bella has had one rule her whole life and that is "Dont Fall in love with A Football player" but that all changed after she moves to forks a crazy football town, where her father is the head football coach First FanFic : Bella&Emmett
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,836 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 10/18/2009 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Bella, Emmett
You're My Only Number One by bexxyy reviews
Bella returns to La push after five years and meets Jacob's friends, little does she know that they are all wolves and she is in fact Pauls imprint. How will she take this news that could drastically change her life?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 30 - Words: 70,613 - Reviews: 1167 - Favs: 1,196 - Follows: 406 - Updated: 10/7/2009 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Loba Bella's tale by lifelesslyndsey reviews
All to suddenly her world falls apart. The Rez call's to her. Edwards makes her feel sick. Jacob's looking better every day, and she's practically crawling out of her skin. "Renee? Who's my father?" BxJ M for Adult Content
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,987 - Reviews: 653 - Favs: 1,249 - Follows: 362 - Updated: 9/30/2009 - Published: 9/9/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
UES, Introducing Blair Waldorf by Madeleinex reviews
Post 1x13. Blair returns from France 2months later, knowing what she wants: Chuck Bass. But the UES is a very different place and Blair finds herself fighting for everything she loves...in particular the NJBC and a certain womanising bad boy. COMPLETE!
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 97,788 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Blair, Chuck - Complete
The Best Of Dreaded Moves by Grace'Cullen.x reviews
All human, bella is 15, and her 2 older siblings are rosalie and emmett. Bella and her family move to forks and meet the cullens, followed by an unexpected series of events. please read and review, sorry i suck at summaries.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 35 - Words: 39,106 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Bella
Down the Road by TeamEmSper reviews
Bella sees the Cullen's at an airport when she is 7. Alice has a vision of Bella and Emmett years later. When Bella is 17 the Cullen's move to Forks to find her. But what happens when an unexpected reletive shows up?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 28 - Words: 44,143 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Full Moon by Mmm.Bby reviews
Bella started feeling different changes with her body. A week after Edward left her stranded in the woods, Bella has had the biggest change of her life. Rated M for future Mature Content and Language. No it is not a Bella/Jacob story! 18 only! Lemons!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 52,802 - Reviews: 649 - Favs: 1,319 - Follows: 367 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
What the Stars Will Tell by vratsababe reviews
Lucius and Narcissa, both Prefects, decide to shirk their duries for just one night and sit beneath the stars. FF100.003
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,321 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Lucius M., Narcissa M. - Complete
A Black First Day of School by JacksonFrost reviews
What happens every year when the Black clan gathers at the station of the Hogwarts Express and sends another Black child off to school? Rated Teen for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,507 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/11/2009 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Bellatrix L., Sirius B. - Complete
Inevitable by xXJacquelineXx reviews
What if Blair had stopped before she walked out on Chuck in 2x23? What if she had heard his conversation with Serena?
Gossip Girl - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/6/2009 - Complete
When Thomas Died by JustJetteJuliette reviews
This is exactly what was running through Thomas's mind when Ariana killed him.
Private - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,981 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Complete
In Love & War by Isabelle reviews
COMPLETE. Chuck left the UES after 1.13. Yrs later, economic crisis leaves the world broke & only Chuck has any money left. Eleanor convinces Blair to marry Chuck for his money, but the feelings Blair has buried long time ago start to surface once married
Gossip Girl - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 117,337 - Reviews: 1663 - Favs: 771 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Chuck, Blair - Complete
Castaways by Isabelle reviews
COMPLETE. Before they kissed, before the night at Victrola, they were going to meet Nate at St. Croix. That is, before their plane crashed, and they were left the only two survivors on an island with no other inhabitants. Chuck/Blair, of course.
Gossip Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 45,243 - Reviews: 583 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 10/27/2008 - Published: 10/15/2008 - Blair, Chuck - Complete
Back to Black by sakurazukamori reviews
Narcissa Malfoy reflects on her years at Hogwarts and on meeting the one man who would inexplicably change her life... for better or for worse. A Slytherin, Deatheater flashback fic. Read about the angst, drama and romance of our future Deatheaters. NMxLM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 67,161 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 11/30/2004 - Narcissa M., Lucius M. - Complete
Beyond These Things by AurigaVariant reviews
This is an intense NarcissaLucius love story woven in with early Death Eater activity. Also starring Bellatrix, it contains strong Death Eater violence which is not for the very faint of heart.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,072 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2003 - Lucius M., Narcissa M.
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Cheer into my heart reviews
Bella found out she has two siblings, together they are the Swan triplets. Since Edward left her, alot has changed, her personality, her morals and more importantly her humanity. Bella, Rose and Zac are not so innocent. OOC canon parings. VA TWILIGHT.
Crossover - Twilight & Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,992 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/10/2009 - Published: 7/29/2009 - Bella, Rose H.
I'm Blair Waldorf reviews
Blair's tired of people at NYU bringing her down, so during a trip in Monaco with her classmates she lets Queen B shine, with the help of Dan Humphrey/Van der Woodsen
Gossip Girl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 357 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Blair, Dan - Complete
A Book By It's Cover reviews
The Cullens have been bullying Bella since she came to Forks one year ago. What they didn't know is that Bella is a Legacy richer and hotter than all of them, and is wearing a disguise. When the truth comes out, Bella wants nothing to do with them...
Crossover - Gossip Girl & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,258 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Blair, Bella
Royal Affair reviews
100 years after Edward left Bella, Bella and her new coven of 20 move to NYC. With her boyfriend Adrian and her sister Rose what could go wrong? Answer: Everything. The Cullens are there with a new spawn; Adrian;s ex.
Crossover - Twilight & Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,199 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 11/17/2009 - Published: 8/20/2009 - Bella, Adrian I.
2 Worlds Collide reviews
Bella is a princess, Edward is a prince. When the Swans throw a ball, will they hit it off or break it off? Cute one-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 758 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/22/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Manhattan Beauty reviews
When Blaire and Bella Waldorf and Serena and Jasper Van der Woodsen's parents marry eachother, they thought their lives would be perfect. But when Mr and Mrs Van der Woodsen move to Forks and take these Golden kids with them how will any of them cope?
Crossover - Gossip Girl & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,724 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 7/1/2009
A Girt From The Gods reviews
Bella is a greek goddess. She gets bored and desides to live in Forks for a while. There she meets the Cullens and finds out that when a mother makes a promise it is hardly ever broken. Suck at reviews. ExB CxES AxJ EmxR. Rated M for future Lemons/ Words.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,232 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Marked reviews
Bella Swan had a happy life before her father died ever since her mother remarried her lifce has been hell. How will the Cullens change that. Further discontinued due to lack of inspiartion. Your free to take over.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,249 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 5/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete