ButtercupButter
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Joined 04-26-09, id: 1915078, Profile Updated: 08-19-14

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!)

My Mother taught me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."


'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'


'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.


Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.)

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.


If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), copy this in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this in it to make it even longer.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, then copy this into your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread chapter 23 of TWILIGHT over eight times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile. (Stupid immobile walls...)

If you still laugh rereading Twilight, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Maximum Ride, Twilight), copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

That is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, for i have attempted this many times before.

Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery...but today is a gift...that is why it is called the present.

Twilight is like crack... Only better!

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward (or emmett lol)

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.


Pointless Things to Copy and Paste into your Profile!

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have spent a whole day reading Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, without any food, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volturi" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?
Bite Me.

xoxo

Thanks for visiting my profile

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Simple Misunderstanding by ShamelessLiar reviews
Once, it was just a oneshot - first chapter can still stand alone. Katara was captured by Zuko, but there was a lapse in communication. Takes place after The Fortuneteller. Fierce Katara, honorable Zuko, and meddlesome Iroh. Also, music night! Cover art by Watermistress - check her out on tumblr bcs she rocks!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 80,965 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 3/27 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Call Me Katto by ShamelessLiar reviews
The Avatar awakens two years late, when only a token resistance still struggles against the Fire Nation. Katara disguises herself as a boy to follow Sokka into war. Not only must she hide her gender from her comrades, she has to help the Avatar while also dodging the creepy prince who's taken such an intense interest in her. AU for timing. Coverart by Watermistress!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 272,390 - Reviews: 1267 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 687 - Updated: 3/27 - Published: 5/23/2014 - [Katara, Zuko] Sokka, Iroh - Complete
Conflict Resolution by Sy Itha reviews
Korra enjoys being a radio show host, especially since she gets to help people find balance in their lives with her advice. What they don't know is that her personal life is nothing short of a wreck. After crashing and burning on two relationships, Korra is content to be a failure at her own love life, until Asami makes a bet with her. AU Korrasami.
Legend of Korra - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 51,403 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 769 - Updated: 3/22 - Published: 8/6/2014 - Korra, Asami S.
Rescue Me by hootowl reviews
"Because they're going to arrest me for earthbending." And they did, but things didn't go according to plan. In fact, failure had never even crossed her mind. A capture!fic...of sorts. Muahahaha! Zutara
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 133,897 - Reviews: 510 - Favs: 484 - Follows: 711 - Updated: 11/7/2014 - Published: 4/14/2012 - [Zuko, Katara]
From Mudblood to Murder by acciolove724 reviews
After Severus Snape called Lily Evans a mudblood everything changed. This story follows Lily, James, and Severus from that fateful afternoon until that night at Godric's Hollow
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 260,360 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 7/11/2014 - Published: 12/31/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P.
a girl worth fighting for by psychedelic aya reviews
Katara pretends to be a man to join the war. It would be easy, except she's scared her commanding officer, Prince Zuko, might figure her out. — zutara, following the mulan storyline, told in six small parts.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,321 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/22/2014 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
The Fifth Column by chromeknickers reviews
Katara watched the masked figure silently twirl the blade in his hand. The Fifth Column's greatest assassin had been sent there to kill her or break her, or maybe it was both. Either way, they wanted their answers. It was the reason she had been kidnapped in the first place... Or so she thought.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 142,511 - Reviews: 609 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 461 - Updated: 11/22/2013 - Published: 8/12/2011 - [Zuko, Katara] - Complete
How Your Heart Beats by zukoshotpants reviews
Zuko has developed an annoying and inconvenient crush on Katara, which is so incredibly unfair. Convinced she is out to torture him, Zuko is in for a barrage of emotions as people continue to get involved, even though he specifically asked them not to. Rated M because I'm a baby, for a bit of explicit language/content, and the deep complicated abyss that is Zuko's brain. Zutara.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 63,452 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 432 - Updated: 11/15/2013 - Published: 7/12/2012 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Cruel and Beautiful World by Lena Phoria reviews
After years of captivity, Hermione Granger fights her way onto the streets of Voldemort's London with only the knife in her pocket and the blood on her hands. There's a checkpoint on every corner, a curfew enforced by Voldemort's most trusted followers, and the only way back to the Boy Who Lived is through the Death Eater who let her be captured in the first place. DM/HG. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 422,070 - Reviews: 2306 - Favs: 2,087 - Follows: 1,158 - Updated: 10/18/2013 - Published: 2/5/2013 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 150,800 - Reviews: 20124 - Favs: 13,018 - Follows: 5,418 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
The Sparrowkeet Series by audreyii-fic reviews
Ba Sing Se has fallen and Katara has been captured by the Fire Nation; a more adult take on the potential progression of S3. AU series of interconnected one-shots. Zutara. Rated for lemons and general darkness.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 80,968 - Reviews: 931 - Favs: 1,987 - Follows: 1,100 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 7/15/2011 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
the text message chronicles by songs reviews
Operation: Protect Katara's Honor is underway.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,196 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/7/2013 - [Zuko, Katara] - Complete
Last Night by Speedy08 reviews
My emotions came crashing down on top of me, every emotion I'd been holding back spilled out of me as my nails scrapped against the ground. I cried but no tears fell. I had none left to shed. I was empty, nothing, a disgrace. No one would want me after this, no one. I wasn't worthy of the title I had once owned. Truth be told I never had been. WARNING: Rape & Human Trafficking.
Legend of Korra - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 41 - Words: 62,961 - Reviews: 432 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 4/17/2013 - Published: 12/21/2012 - Korra, Mako - Complete
Crashing by zukoshotpants reviews
Zuko's just been accepted into the group. This doesn't sit well with Katara, and as she storms around on the shore convincing herself that she hates him and doesn't want to kiss him, not even a little bit, Zuko comes to confront her. Strange and sexy events follow. Rated M for you know what.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,940 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 24 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Anatomy of a Human by Amethyst Jackson reviews
Companion to Only Human. Edward's young life is irreversibly altered when a mysterious girl in strange clothing stumbles into his world. Now complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,142 - Reviews: 2024 - Favs: 1,996 - Follows: 1,649 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Confused by akiko-dono reviews
Zuko stood. "You told Aang you were confused. Are you confused because of me?" Katara was silent, arms crossed in front of her. "Don't make me answer that." Zutara, rated MA. Contains explicit, but plot important, sexual situations. EPILOGUE NOW UP! STORY IS COMPLETE!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 65,373 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 741 - Follows: 349 - Updated: 8/29/2012 - Published: 6/15/2012 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
The Learning Curve by Amethyst Jackson reviews
AU and AH. Short chapters with daily updates. When Bella's boyfriend brings up the issue of her virginity with his ex, she decides to take charge of her own fate. Now complete with occasional snippets to come.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 138 - Words: 83,353 - Reviews: 13591 - Favs: 3,276 - Follows: 2,889 - Updated: 5/14/2012 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
His Majesty Prefers Blue by ShamelessLiar reviews
A year after the war's end, the gaang returns to the Fire Nation for a week of diplomatic meetings. There, they hear rumors about a vigilante who wears a blue mask and Katara finds herself digging deeper into his identity and motives. Blue/Zutara Lemons
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 212,173 - Reviews: 2579 - Favs: 2,117 - Follows: 923 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Of Raindrops, Flowers, & Wishing Wells by PottedLilies reviews
Lily and James. This is the story of how the famous couple came to be, and how they and their friends found hope, camaraderie, and love as the first shots of war rang in their ears and tore their world apart. Full Summary Inside. REWRITTEN.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 51,707 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 1/4/2012 - Published: 1/3/2011 - Lily Evans P., James P.
A Nocturne Blue by Queen Nightingale reviews
He kissed her, quickly and quietly, as another firework went off – the exact opposite of what she had dreamed of as a child – but she was in love, and the quiet confession of a lip on a lip was all she needed as proof. JPLE One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,910 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/10/2011 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Ravishment by Queen Nightingale reviews
"Mister Potter!" A sharp voice rang out, Lily's face heating up as James casually removed his lips from her neck, "What do you think you're doing to Miss Evans?" "Ravishing her, of course." JPLE One-Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,044 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 25 - Published: 4/10/2011 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Seeing Crimson by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella was kidnapped by the Volturi in Eclipse, and now she's a vampire with no memory of her human life and so powerful she can kill any. What happens when her new assignment is to recrute a certain mindreader and future seeing vampire?FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,615 - Reviews: 440 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/10/2009
Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3118 - Favs: 1,746 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
The Date Clause by Like A Dove reviews
Zuko and Katara are forced to go on a date together. Epic confessions, drunkenness, sneaking around, and attempted dirty talk ensue. Who knew defying Uncle Iroh and his stupid matchmaker friend could be so much fun?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,280 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 408 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 1/20/2011 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Compatibility of Spirit by cupid-painted-blind reviews
The whole Companion House is in a frenzy when a lucrative request comes in, for the best Companion in the House to meet with the surly Prince of the Fire Nation. / Katara/Zuko, semi-fusion with Firefly.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,213 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 33 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Katara, Zuko
Of Raindrops, Flowers, and Wishing Wells by PottedLilies reviews
Before Harry ever boarded the train, there was another story. One of magic and monster and most of all, love. One of boys becoming men and friendship stronger, even, than death. Lily/James, RL/OC, AL/FL, SB/? 5th year on.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 238,142 - Reviews: 1371 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 309 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 7/23/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Enslaved by sharkflip reviews
A triumphant war party returns with an exotic slave, a gift for the ruling house. Katara and Zuko AU
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 104,517 - Reviews: 1519 - Favs: 1,599 - Follows: 1,413 - Updated: 12/17/2010 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Katara, Zuko
The Courtyard by latessitrice reviews
Bella is in time to save Edward in Volterra, but he doesn't give her chance to explain that they are both alive. Since Edward believes they are in heaven, he takes the opportunity to make the reunion memorable in a way she never dared imagine.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 96,617 - Reviews: 1012 - Favs: 1,844 - Follows: 856 - Updated: 12/12/2010 - Published: 11/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Thoughts and Actions by WindFromTheNorth reviews
Edward is irritated to hear some of the improper thoughts his classmates are having about Bella. A sexy smutfic covered in a coating of sweet fluff, completed and ready to be enjoyed...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,015 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 27 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
From The Ashes by FarDareisMai2 reviews
1st Place, 2010 Age of Edward, Literotica. The horrors of Nazi Germany are revealed to a group of stunned American soldiers. When Edward meets a young survivor, can they both salvage their lives from the wreckage of their dreams? Can they find hope again?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,582 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 64 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Edward, Bella
Broken: The Epilogue by inadaze22 reviews
It's the separate epilogue to my epic story, Broken. I kept the ratings the same
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,792 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 592 - Follows: 60 - Published: 9/3/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Hunted by Bex-chan reviews
Forced to work together when their old schoolmates start dying, Hermione & Draco must overcome their differences to solve the mysterious deaths. The tension in the office is getting rather...heated. Mature themes. 4years PostHogwarts/War. EWE. DMHG.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 36 - Words: 191,497 - Reviews: 2036 - Favs: 3,666 - Follows: 811 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Bliss by Eternal Contradiction reviews
After a misunderstanding at a war tribunal, Zuko/Katara end up married. Can they accept being wedded to one another when obstacles keep falling in their path, thrown by keep-your-hands-off-my-sister Sokka, and their inability to accept mutual attraction?
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,260 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 8/15/2010 - Published: 7/4/2010 - Katara, Zuko
Embrace by alexb49 reviews
Katara stumbles across a familiar boy out on a date in Ba Sing Se. Set during S2 episode "Tales of Ba Sing Se". Rated M for mature content of a sexual nature. Pairing: Katara/Zuko. Written for the Zutarotica 2010 Summer Challenge.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,078 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 34 - Published: 7/27/2010 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
My Best Friend's Wedding by Stephaniiie reviews
Entry for Moonlight Stuido's Lyrical Contest. AU/AH/OOC/One-shot. It's been a year since Edward last saw his fiancée and best friend. A year of waiting for her to come back to him. And Edward's not about to let her go without crashing the wedding first...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,054 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 40 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bad boy Edward needs to be taught a lesson. So his teachers come up with a plan- ‘marry’ him to the best behaved girl in school! How will his ego survive spending ‘eternity’ with Bella Swan! Little OOC. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 70 - Words: 279,341 - Reviews: 15823 - Favs: 6,996 - Follows: 3,218 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Seducing Ms Swan by DQRC reviews
AU Post-NM. Teacher!Bella, Student!Edward; a struggle of wills, an attempt at seduction, a dark secret, a dash of UST, a gallon of attitude, antagonistic motorcycling, a hell of a lot of angst and one unforgettable scene in a snow storm.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 132,610 - Reviews: 5846 - Favs: 6,116 - Follows: 4,841 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Jacaranda by cupid-painted-blind reviews
It's every kind of not right, and Katara can't make herself care. / Shameless Zutara, mentions of Kataang and infidelity.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,417 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/21/2010 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Only Human by Amethyst Jackson reviews
Complete. A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward. This story is baby-free.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 60,635 - Reviews: 5912 - Favs: 9,647 - Follows: 2,478 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Kiss of Fire by MetalChickCrisis2040 reviews
“It’s just kissing, Kahlan.” Richard sighs. “Richard,” She swallows, trying to gather her Confessor’s face but failing miserably. “You know as well as I that kissing is not all we will be doing…”
Legend of the Seeker - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Kahlan A., Richard Cypher R. - Complete
Blush by Queen Nightingale reviews
It would start at her cheeks and then spread all over her face, deepening in colour to a rose or soft cherry, spilling over her high cheekbones and washing over her neck, until it slipped over her collarbones and into her school robes. JPLE One-Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,217 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/15/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Haunted By Dreams by ebbs reviews
Richard was often haunted by the way she glowed that morning... Tag to "Torn" One-Shot
Legend of the Seeker - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 359 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/13/2010 - Richard Cypher R., Kahlan A. - Complete
The Fragility of Tears by Queen Nightingale reviews
"Step Three, little Miss Lily Evans," James said quietly, turning back to his books and feeling her hot gaze on him, "Step three: I get the girl." JPLE, One-Shot, Marauders Era.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,162 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 41 - Published: 3/9/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Dark Side of the Moon by blondie AKA robin reviews
New Moon from Edward's POV. Witness how Edward agonized over leaving Bella, hunted for Victoria, faced the Volturi, and came to realize that with Bella was where he was meant to be.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 176,408 - Reviews: 2567 - Favs: 3,349 - Follows: 1,490 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Edward - Complete
Always the Light by Treacle Chip reviews
In the midst of the grand scheme of things, there are little moments that no one ever gets to see... Well, almost no one. Zutara, from Appa's point of view.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,166 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 18 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
A Million More Mistakes by Stephaniiie reviews
AU/AH Bella is pregnant with her BFFs brother, Edward. Scared, she moves away but, 5 years later, Edward shows up. As Bella falls for him again, she realises that she has to tell him everything... until he introduces his fiancee... NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 130,436 - Reviews: 4336 - Favs: 2,847 - Follows: 953 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fighting Fate by Stephaniiie reviews
AH Bella is about to enter a marriage she had no say in, though her heart belongs to the homeless stranger she has never spoken to. Edward has nothing and wants nothing except for the smile he receives from that brown-eyed girl that walks by everyday..ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,008 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 9/14/2009 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Bella, Edward
Dorm Dilemma by bitemeplease235 reviews
All Human. What happens when Bella goes off to college to find that she has to share a dorm with a guy? And that guy happens to be Edward Cullen? And she finds a deep attraction instantly? Hmmm...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 35,731 - Reviews: 2813 - Favs: 1,361 - Follows: 1,502 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Bella, Edward
Love Amongst the Embers by delectate reviews
After the Ember Island Players' performance, and with the help of a little rice wine, Zuko and Katara decide to rewrite an alternate ending to their story. Oneshot, Zuko/Katara. Rated M.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,723 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 627 - Follows: 68 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Broken by inadaze22 reviews
He felt something close to pity for the woman in front of him. And while that disturbed Draco to no end, what really disgusted him most of all was the harrowing fact that someone or something had broken Hermione Granger’s spirit beyond recognition.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 367,993 - Reviews: 4986 - Favs: 5,967 - Follows: 1,818 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
A Challenge Met by sharkflip reviews
Katara and Zuko meet and reconcile during Day of Black Sun, with the outcome expected in a story written for Zutarotica. AU for the Eclipse.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,780 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Come Out Of The Closet by TheLovelyItem reviews
Adrienne questions Artemis' sexual orientation. Arty/OC oneshot.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,185 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Artemis F. - Complete
Afterglow by Burning Ice reviews
It’s a proven fact that 'intimacy' the evening before a demanding physical activity such as a marathon or an epic final battle will improve a woman’s performance, but damage a man’s, the following day. Night before the comet Zutara, Lemon, One-shot, PWP
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,530 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 398 - Follows: 52 - Published: 6/7/2009 - Katara, Zuko
Hello, Stranger by Burrberry Bugsy reviews
A college class has everyone pairing up as married couples for 28 days. But how hard would it be to focus on passing the class when you’re paired up with your worst enemy’s girlfriend? How much worse when you actually started to fall for her? ON HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 145,802 - Reviews: 2704 - Favs: 2,251 - Follows: 2,312 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Confessor's Clearing by KahlanRahl reviews
Kahlan tells Richard what exactly a confessor is and how their power works... Richard waits in horror. T for later content. I don't own the character or the world i own the story line and what my characters do.
Legend of the Seeker - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,452 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/13/2009 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Complete
A Matter of Honor by Adridere reviews
COMPLETE - Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. Zutara/Taang
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 185,294 - Reviews: 1339 - Favs: 1,439 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Toph, Aang - Complete
With Great Restraint by blondie AKA robin reviews
A Breaking Dawn Missing Moment - At the wedding reception, Bella and Jacob discussed her honeymoon plans. At the same time, Edward dances with Tanya...and the same subject arises. This one-shot parallels pages 61-66 in Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,405 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 48 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Edward, Tanya - Complete
Stained Glass Windows by BlueBlood359 reviews
A sequal to The Seduction of Edward..... When Edward finally gives in will Bella finally get what she wants or will the road she's taken lead only to heart ache?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 53,597 - Reviews: 2190 - Favs: 1,043 - Follows: 664 - Updated: 9/22/2008 - Published: 7/19/2007 - Complete
Self Imposed Purgatory by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
This is my version of Bella's "tantrum" after Renee came to take her down to Florida that first week when Edward left. Review please! One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,824 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/11/2008 - Bella
Whose Hearts Are Mountains by Rashaka reviews
Zuko and Katara come together one warm afternoon under circumstances not made for ancient Water ballads or great Fire tales: they meet in a ventilation duct. Oneshot, rated M.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,845 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 517 - Follows: 51 - Published: 12/19/2007 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Times Change by skittle95 reviews
Sirius and Remus bet James that he can't go one week without asking Lily out or even talking to her.At the same time, Lily's friends dare her to kiss James for 5 minutes straight, within that week. What are the consequences and will Lily fall for James?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,740 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/2/2007 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Stupid Krum by bitchfit26 reviews
Has it ever occurred to you that Draco might have asked Hermione to the Yule Ball during their fourth year? A ficlet.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,137 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/12/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Somewhere in Between by AJ Rayne reviews
Set in the future. After the end of the war, the Fire Nation is in crisis and to mend the broken land, Katara is put in a position she never expected to be in: Fire Lady. The first in a series.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 54,429 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 990 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 12/17/2006 - Published: 12/7/2006 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Good Morning, Hermione by bitchfit26 reviews
A rather 'conservative' Hermione shares a flat with 'hormonally charged' Harry, Ron and Draco. So, what's a decent girl to do? Rated due to language. Her POV.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,458 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 33 - Published: 6/2/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Forever on the Closed Ward by Aelan Greenleaf reviews
[I'm Harry, Harry Potter.] the man smiled as he reached out a welcoming hand, [And who are you?] [Brian. Brian Harrison.] the boy lied. He could feel the sadness rise in him as they shook hands, as if meeting for the first time.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/28/2005 - Harry P. - Complete