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Joined 04-26-09, id: 1915163, Profile Updated: 04-06-10
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hey, guyz.

Name: Simone Janell Naylor a.k.a. Phonos, which is Murder in greek.
Age: fourteen

Bands: Linkin Park!; Disturbed; Slipknot; Mariana's Trench; Hedley; Eminem; Shinedown; Our lady Peace; In Flames; DragonForce; Korn; 3 Oh! 3; ALL THAT REMAINS; cavo; Billy Talent; btw, Jonas Brothers should die along with Brittany Spears, Miley Cirus/Hannah, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson, Evanesence; Justin Bieber; Hilary Duff. Pitbull
Food: Greek Salad; BBQ'd chicken; ribs; grilled cheese :D; pizza
colours: lime green;BLACK; blue; brown
Books: The Host; The Darkest Powers; The Mortal Instruments; TWILIGHT SERIES!; Ingo series; The Wanderer; The Fire Arrow; Frankenstein; Be Mine, Secret Santa; The Name Of This Book Is Secret; Drowning In Secrets; Where The Red Fern Grows; Tunnels Of Time Series; Maniac Magee; Wuthering Heights, Pellinor Series; Percy Jackson and The Olympians; The Hunger Games; Peter and the Star Catchers; Shatterred; The Broken Thread;
Weird Things About ME(there are alot of them): I absolutely LOVE animals, except for cats (cats should burn in hell) i have chickens, geese and a cow as a pet soo... ya, weird. I enjoy fighting people with straws :D or really anything thats slightly odd and unexspected(i know its spelled wrong) like computer mice or juice boxes(REALLY FUN). during silences i tend to make really weird, annoying sounds along with hand motions that hit people in the face. i walk around saying 'moo' to people that I havent met while in grocery stores. i suk at saying bye, it takes me 5 mins on average. i often try to bite peolpe. i write on my wall (murder backwards, wat else, plus ALOT more). i love blood, its amazing, I draw on shirts that have nothing on them with permanent marker. I always try to lick my twin sister. I always write, deep, depressing poems in my head... trust me, im putting more on later... :D

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, ihatejacob1, IamNotStalkingEmmett, Twilightmaniac21, HPTL, TeamDemetri

Please read my stories and review! Thkz...

I pull it around me like a cloak
And watch you through its folds
It muffles every word and gesture
Every move I make
If you were to strike me
I would feel shadow-blows
If you were to hold me
I would feel shadow-comfort
My distance is my security
But its refuge is cold and numb

I have not met him yet
Face to Face...
But passed it though
To and fro,
Parallel to me...Always,
On the other side of the flow,

Sometimes I feel it is Divine
For it offers the Pained
Soul and sorrow...
Peace and pillow...
to rest ...lastly
After the fight and fire...
To Die is a pleasure..

But sometimes I see...
Its large monstrous paws
grab the innocents..,
Unknowingly.. quietly.. silently..,
just why ?dont know
For there are no reasons at all
to seize those loved ones
all of a sudden,In mere moment,
Life seems to go...

Thinking about it..."Death"
Touched and Untouched..
Felt and Unfelt..
I have met him though
not face to face
But passed it always
To and fro,
Parellel to the flow.

~~~~~~~~i wrote this one~~~~~~~~

They call this life a gift,
Something to embrace.
But all I see is tragity,
Everything as dark as night.
Everywhere I go,
People point and glare.
Just because of what I wear,
And the expression on my face.
Giving me more reason.
To cut myself to sleep,
No one knows how i feel,
'Cause they don't bother to dig that deep.

~~~~~~~~like it? my twinster thought I stole it :( curse you Mrs. DiAngelo~~~~~~~~~~

k, my twin wrote this one(she won't put it on her profile cuz she refuses to be 'emo')

'The night is darkest when we weep,
The floor is hardest when in a heap.
I live within a cacoon of scars,
and that's why daddy go to bars.'

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination


IF DEREK SOUZA IS TO YOU WHAT EDWARD CULLEN IS TO SUPER-FANS, copy and paste this into your profile

"Great. Now they're going to think we're showering together. maybe we can just tell them we were washing off the crawl space dirt and conseving water."

Derek Souza would be mine but apparently is Death Preistess's so... I get his identical twin... werewolf, green eyes and all.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day. Crazy is when you yell at fictional book characters for doing stupid things (cough, cough Edward leaving in New Moon) or deciding that you'll give a friend all of the answers for the homework for the rest of your life if he'll find you and Edward. Crazy is when you decide to hunt down fictional book characters and kill them for hurting other fictional book characters (I'm talking about Damon, but Edward applies here, too.) Crazy is when your mother has to pry Twilight and or New Moon from your fingertips and you start to sob. Crazy is when you are planning your revenge on people like Victoria and cough Edward Cullen!cough. Crazy is when you just said something very serious then burst out laughing. Crazy is when you're so obsessed with Edward Cullen you buy a pet rock and name him Edward. Crazy is when you save up hundreds of dollars for college then blow it all at a candy store. Crazy is when you start laughing hysterically because of a sign on the computer that said DO NOT TURN OFF. Crazy is wen u brake ur leg wile getting a glass of water. Crazy is wen ur trying to capitalize the c in crazy for 10 minutes when u realize the caps lock is still on and your holding the shift botton. Crazy is when you have a straw fight with someone and make them bleed, then use toothpicks as spitballs, of course using the same straw that made the other person bleed(TeamDemetri) If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something(s) crazy you've done to the list!if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this onto your profile. I have fallen out of bed and missed the floor.

Put ur 12 favortite Twilight characters in random order

1. Alice
2. Demetri
3. Jasper
4. Marcus
5. Jacob
6. Renesmee
7. Edward
8. Quil
9. Emmett
10. Bella
11. Tyler
12. Tanya

1. Would you read a Six/Eleven Story/Fanfiction?
renesme/tyler Yes... could be interesting

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Marcus Probly? He is a vampire, after all

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Tanya/Quil there would be something really, really wrong!

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Emmett Ya! He's the best!

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Demetri/Renesme ooooh, YA!

6. Who would make a better couple? Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Jacob/Emmett or Jacob/Bella? Im gonna go with five nine

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?
Edward/Tanya/Demetri definately!! that'd be fun

8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten story.
Bella/Jasper... They fall in love

9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?
Hoping not?

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Edward and BElla break up, he goes to Tanya?

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?
Demetri tracked Alice so Marcus could be with her!

12. Does anyone on your Friends List read Three slash?
umm.. no? dont get it...

13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Demetri/Marcus/Jacob... wow. no.

15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
Sexy vamp?

16. If you wrote a song-fic about One/Two, what song would you choose?
Facade by Disturbed, Demetri seems like he would hurt Alice

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Alice/Renesme/Tanya 'I don't know why I wrote this!'

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Seven?
I'm already with you?

Friends and Best Friends:

1. Your Name


2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle):


3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite color and favourite animal):

Dark Green Monkey

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street name):

Janell Margorie

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):


6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favourite drink):

Lime Green Ice Capp

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):


8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):


9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

Black Demetri


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...

the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...

he gets big muscles and swims across...

but almost dies 5 times...

the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...

he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...

but he almost dies 3 times...

the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...

he turns into a woman...

walks 4 yards...

and crosses the bridge

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

RULES: (for another iPod shuffle thing)

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this in your profile.

2.What is the first thing you say in the morning?
New Divide - Linkin Park

3. Your teacher is ...
Got The Life - KoRn

4. What's written on your classroom's blackboard?
New Abortion - Slipknot (LOL)

5. If you ever got a tattoo what would it say?
Decadence - Slipknot wow.

6. How would you describe your next door neighbours?
My Plauge - Slipknot (I barely have neighbors except my bestest friends grandma... hmm)

7. What would your Best Friend say about you?
The Shape - Slipknot WTF!!

8. How do you feel right now?
Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park /ooohh, FUN/

9. What's on your bedside table right now?
All Hope Is Gone - Slipknot hmm...

10. What did you do when you woke up this morning?
Crawling - Linkin Park

11. When you open your wardobe you see...
This Cold Black - Slipknot

12. What did you say after you last attended a concert?
The Night - Disturbed never been to a concert, wish i could go to disturbed

13. If you had to write a fanfic write now, what would it be called?
Sacred Lie - Disturbed

14. A song you would sing at your school's talent show?
I am Hated - Slipknot

15. Your life's theme song?
Overburdened - Disturbed

16. How would you describe what you are doing this moment?
Faint - Linkin Park

17. If you had to go and jump of a building, what would your last words be?
Lying From You - Linkin Park

18.Your motto is...:
Pshycosocial - Slipknot

19. If you could by anything in this world you'd buy...
Duality - Slipknot

20. What did you dream about tonight?
With You - Linkin Park

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

\One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Being mature is overrated

Silence is so freakin loud

You say I've lost my sanity. But you can't lose what you never had.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button then you'll get disconnected.

I follow my own footsteps

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

-If you hate someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way you are a mile away from them AND you have their shoes.

-Wish for what you for what you need

-When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can.

-They laugh because I'm different...i laugh because they're the same.

-Fear is the heart of love.

-A good friend will comfort you when you're boyfriend breaks up with you...but a best friend will go up to him and ask "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

-I'd rather be hated for who i am the loved for who I'm not.

-The TRUTH is that everyone going to hurt just have to decide who is worth the pain.

-You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad- Aldous Huxley

- Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.- Vernon Law

-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-If your heart was really'd be dead so shut up.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

- Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

-I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

-When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

-Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.


1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE.

4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

11.) “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown

12.) “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown

13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

26.) Guns don't kill people. I do.

27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

40.) Did you just call me a bch? Because a bch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

41.) So, you're a cannibal.

42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires

44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke

51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I.

56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.

59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

64.) I do what cheerios tell me.

65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! )

67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...

68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

72.) there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.

73.) 'C' is for cookie!

74.) Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies, it never goes away.

75.) Batteries are the most dramatic inatimate object you can find. Others either work or break, batteries DIE.

76.) I like to go to the beach and bury peices of metal that say 'Get a life' on them.

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24.) Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25.) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26.) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time"
38. Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
39. Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
40. Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
41. Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball.
42. Hum the theme to Jeopardy.
43. Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
44. Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
45. When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!

Bold the steriotypes you 'MUST' fit into

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (people just tell me this, i'm not self-obsessed)
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
(wat is it?)
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.(I am)
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast(much)
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming a boy Edward or Anthony, or a girl Isabella Marie, copy this into your profile.

If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. If weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, TeamDemetri

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, TeamDemetri

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose's meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Reasons why girls are the best:

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blende r when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Your Break somethin - You fix it!

You open the door - You close it.

You ruin my work - I'll ruin Yours.

You hurt me phisically - I will get revenge.

You hurt me emotionly - You'll regret it.

You move my stuff - I move it back.

You Call my stuff - I'll call Yours.

You touch my phone - I will prank call you for like ever!

You steal my headphones - I'll steal your music.

You call my friends - I'll call You and your mates.

You ignore me - I ignore You.

You laught at me - I having a laughing fit at you.


You Help me - I say thankyou.

You make me happy - I'll cheer you up when your sad.

You put your arm around me while I cry - I'll put my arm around you when you cry.

You hug me - I'll hug you back.

You shout my name - I'll shout yours.

You smile at me - I smile at you.

When you want me - I'm a phone call away.

You ask for money - I'll give it you, If you pay me back!


1.Prance Around The House And Sing 'Like a Virgin' At The Top Of Lungs Every Morning.

2.Tell Him He's Literally A Pedophile.

3.Call Him A Pervert For Watching Bella Sleep.

4.Take Him To Victoria Street With Alice.

5.Constantly Remind Him That He Almost Lost Bella To A Dog.

6.Tell Him Bella Is Pregnant And Is Eloping With Mike Newton - Tell Him Your Joking When He Kills Mike.

7.Buy Him A Dog And Name It Jacob.

8.Ask Him If He's A Virgin.

9.Tell Him Jacob Think He's A Sex God.

10.Ask Him Hows Tanya.

11.Buy Him A Sex-Ed Book And Put It In His Locker So When He Opens It, It Falls Out So EveryOne Sees It.

12.Graffiti His Car Saying - Edward And Jacob = Lurve!

13.Tape Porn To His Wall And Make Sure Bella Sees It.

14.Ask Him If He Secretly Fancies Rosalie.

15.Everytime Your Around Him Ask Him Why Its Cold.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? And is it suicide or murder?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow sign


This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

fav Sayings and other stuff

"I reject your reality and create my own"...adam, mythbusters

"Monica: I Know you are, but what am I?
Me: Scientists haven't figured that out yet"

Monica “We're so cool, ice cubes are jealous”

Andrew "what is your problem"

me "i have many"

'Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today.'

'Don't get mad; get sadistic.'

'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'

Common sense is the enemy of comedy.'

'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'

'My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.'

'Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.'

'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'

'There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.'

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.'

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

'Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.'

'Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?'

'What is this 'kindness' you speak of?'

'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'

'Define normal.'

'I will call him George, hug him and love him and rub his fur the wrong way.'

'He who walks with wolves, learns to howl.'

'Of all the things I've ever wished that I know could never be, the thing I wish the most is that I wish I wasn't me.

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'-Aristotle

'When I saw you, I was afraid of meeting you. When I met you, I was afraid of kissing you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid of losing you.'-Anonymous

'I think people proclaim their love too easily. I will never seriously tell someone I love them if I don't mean it, so when I do say it, know that you now hold my heart in your hands.'-Me

'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.'-Lord Alfred Tennyson

'It takes a minute to find someone special, an hour to appreciate them and a day to love them, but an entire lifetime to forget them.'-Anonymous

I don't care what anyone thinks but I believe that Vampires and Werewolves COULDexist! There is no evidence saying the couldn't or if they could. They could even be a science experiment gone wrong.

I also don't think all Vampire's aren't a evil as they are made out be. I mean compared to what we humans do to each other what they do for food is nothing

Your like the ocean. Pretty enough on the surface, but dive down into you depths and you'll find a beauty most people never see.

in a world of cheerios, be a frootloop

Thank Goodness we cannot cut down the clouds!

not all who wander are lost

it takes a day to love someone. it takes years to know what love is
-jason mraz

"Where in the nursery rhyme does say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?"

"Dying for your beliefs is easy. People do it everyday. Its living with yourself afterwards thats the hard part."

"Fall seven times, stand up eight."

"Fear not the darkness, mearly what it hides."

-Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Tired of living and scared of dying

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.(lol)

Benefits of being a woman-
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said: You wear pants don't you?

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

did you read it all? YAY!

Emmett plushies for u!

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it like me oops, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you feel we need to take legal precautions to ensure that no one named George Bush is president ever again, copy this to your profile.

If u've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question copy and paste this on ur profile

CHEESE! If you are random and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to you're profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile. (i had 2 put that cause um i kinda well lost :( boo hoo))

If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the heck of it, then copy this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger --or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Or have I I know if I have you don't JUST COPY THIS FREAKIN PIECE OF WHATEVER DOWN BEFORE I MURDFER YOU A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z NOW I KNOW MY A B CS NEXT TIME WONT YOU SING WITH MEEE!!) Maybe i am crazy.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange it bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you or your friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

(゚、 。 7
l、 ~ヽ
じしf, )ノ
i hate cats, but, o well

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100 Things Not To Do At Lyle House by Wolf's Thorn reviews
ok so i got bored and had been reading 520 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts and got an idea. so i keep comin up w/ more rules 2 add & have decided 2 add a chapter everytime i come up w/ 50 or more new rules. but the titel will remain the same.
Darkest Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,566 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/17/2013 - Published: 3/4/2010
Not Another Safe House Story by mystupidityoutdoesmystupidity reviews
Chloe, Derek, Simon, Tori, and Andrew are already at the safehouse. They're getting some interesting company...What will happen when the new people arrive? Chlerek. Maybe OOC. Half-way through the Reckoning when they're still at the safehouse. CHAPTER 14 HAS REPLACED THE AUTHOR'S NOTE.
Darkest Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,328 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 4/25/2013 - Published: 5/3/2010 - Chloe S., Derek S.
I Thought Angels Were Meant to Save You by forever.young '94 reviews
Elle moved from her home down under to the town of Coldwater, where she meets the mysterious and alluring Patch. The better she tries to understand him, the harder it is to escape him. You know the drill with Patch- lots of danger and innuendos, haha ;
Hush, Hush - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 45,146 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 1/17/2010 - Complete
Pirate Smile by happylandfill reviews
More 'adventures' with Patch & Nora after Hush, Hush. Rated T for now for epic sexy bits & explicit language.
Hush, Hush - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,607 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 12/14/2009
Lovely Little Oneshots by Fro-Tail reviews
Quotes from reviews: "I LOVE IT!" "That was really well written and I love the storyline!" "I loved this one and I even cried a little!" Disclaimer: I do not own Darkest Powers. I hope you enjoy my oneshots!
Darkest Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,420 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/26/2011 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Chloe S., Derek S.
A Misplaced Call by FLPotter Girl reviews
Bella is moving to Forks and tries to call her dad when instead she reaches Edward's number. R&R. Rated T for some language and a couple breif refrences.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 21,500 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 2/7/2011 - Published: 5/24/2008
Allure by sillysac reviews
Something in the air his hand brushed my upper arm softly. The heat from the afternoon disappeared, as if I had been plunged into a freezer. Goosebumps erupted across my skin. Patch froze, sensing the difference too. "Your skin is cold."
Hush, Hush - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 30,985 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Complete
Objective Love by Bella.Barbaric reviews
Bella and her Mom move, a lot. So she tries not to get tied down by anything, it's easier that way. But when she falls for sexy Edward Cullen, it forces her to confront her feelings, will she see what she has to gain by making roots? All Human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,360 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 12/31/2009 - Edward, Bella
Only Human by Amethyst Jackson reviews
Complete. A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward. This story is baby-free.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 60,635 - Reviews: 5964 - Favs: 10,038 - Follows: 2,616 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
the safehouse stories by story chick7272 reviews
the guys are all over chloe and now theres new ones who are kinda perverts. i have a competition so u guys can write my seventh chapter
Darkest Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,106 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/6/2010 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Chloe S.
Ruined Moments in the Wings of an Angel by PatchsFallenAngel reviews
Nora loves everything about Patch. His smile. His heart. Even his wings! But the one thing she does hate about him...He always finds a way to ruin a perfectly sweet moment. One-shot. Nora/Patch. Fluff...literally!
Hush, Hush - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,777 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 21 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Complete
Insane Angel Cousins by Super-Dog11 reviews
Nora has cousins. On her father's side. Pretty norma, huh? No way! They're angels. Not fallen, like her boyfriend, Patch. But, real life angels. The good thing? They don't wanna kill her. But, she just might kill herself with the stress they bring.
Hush, Hush - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,112 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/13/2010 - Published: 2/7/2010
ALICE CULLEN by omaigooo reviews
If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own ALICE CULLEN. Go through the guide for more information on the item purchased.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Alice - Complete
Downfall by kangaroo12 reviews
Bella and Edward were childhood friends, but Bella had to move away when she was seven. Years later, Edward coincidentally runs in to a whole new Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,829 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 6/5/2009 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
EMMETT CULLEN by omaigooo reviews
If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own EMMETT CULLEN. Go throught the guide for more information on the item purchased.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,265 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Emmett - Complete
EDWARD CULLEN by omaigooo reviews
If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own EDWARD CULLEN. Go throught the guide for more information on the item purchased.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,238 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Edward - Complete
Realize by Goo82 reviews
Edward is a hot up and coming actor and Bella is his ever faithful best friend and personal assistant. Bella's feeling for Edward have changed, but he is oblivious to her feelings. With the help of her friends, will she get the courage to tell him...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 101,506 - Reviews: 5552 - Favs: 8,174 - Follows: 2,279 - Updated: 2/19/2009 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Satanic Love by SimonAndSimone reviews
There's a new student at Fork's Hight. There is something very strange about him. Why doesn't the Cullen's powers work? Is Bella falling for this dark stranger? There is more to him than meets the eye. And the eye does not go wanting....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,557 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 12/5/2008 - Published: 7/15/2008
Bella on Crack by SimonAndSimone reviews
When Edward leaves Bella somehow gets on crack. When she hangs out with the LaPush boys anything can happen! Falling for Embrey and what about toothpaste? Then what happens when the Cullens come back! T just in case. SEQUEL IS UP! BELLAS HUMAN EXPERIENCES
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,993 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Complete
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Total Disgrace reviews
Bella's mother abuses her, and she cuts herself. She just has to get away, but where to? What wonderful surprise could await her there?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,466 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Bella, Emmett
Where Did You Go? reviews
Edward leaves Bella, then Laurent turns her into a vampire. What will happen when she goes to the Volturi and falls in love with Demetri?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,229 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Bella, Demetri - Complete