Jesca2000
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Joined 04-30-09, id: 1918881, Profile Updated: 01-22-10

Hi MY name is Jesca (The original name that TURNED into Jessica) and I am just kinda random . ... I have written storys so yeah feel free to read. I actually want to become an Interior Designer so doing degrees and stuff.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because you're freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not re-post this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Re-post or you are going to die


22) Call out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Some funny Quotes i found enjoy!

bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

There is no vaccine against stupidity

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy a bird can kiss a butterfly the rising sun can kiss the grass but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS

If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes...then why do you wear a bra??

mirrors don't talk but lucky for you n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle

People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies

I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls... then I met you. Don't bother leaving a message.

Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!

I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.

I need you...I want you...To get out of my face

Damn not you again...

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.

If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first.

I am not anti-social..I just don't like you

If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!

Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...

There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.

Until you called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.

If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there?
Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance!

Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.

I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!

Earth is full. Go home.

If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.

Hey, heres a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.

Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.

Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.

Why don't you go outside and play, hide and go fk yourself

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone

How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.

FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone!

Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this list doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.

When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom! leave a message

My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange... I guess that means I can't talk to you!

Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forrest!

I really don't like you but if you really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.

You know the drill! You leave a message...and I ignore it!

The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours...

I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!

Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense.

You dont know me, you just wish you did.

Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?!

You have your whole life to be a jerk...so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!

Hehehe those are funny :D

I SHALL NEVER GROW UP...MAKE BELIEVE IS TOO MUCH FUN! Evil laugh

Did you know...

kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted!

Have fun reading hope you enjoyed my profile!

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I'm Not Falling For You by ronOReds reviews
Bella get's picked to be on a dating reality show! How will the guys show their love and who will be the last one standing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,235 - Reviews: 3301 - Favs: 2,648 - Follows: 769 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
Mind Reader by randomgirl18 reviews
Bella Swan has no idea who Edward Cullen is until she hears him in her head. Though they are thousands of miles apart, strangers, they form a bond while thinking each others thoughts. Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 22 - Words: 23,905 - Reviews: 664 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Crescent Moon by Tellytubby101 reviews
Bella is a half-immortal with a secretive past that haunts her still. She has to keep an eye out for the dangerous burning flame on the horizon. The Cullens are still vampires, but they don't know what Bella is... Or what she's capable of. AU. A bit OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 118,412 - Reviews: 943 - Favs: 802 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Forgotten ? Maybe , Maybe Not by alykochan reviews
Bella and Edward are in love at the age of 15 , but Elizabeth breaks them apart . Why & will they ever be together again ? ONE SHOT . first time writing ! R&R !
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,147 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Published: 2/23/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Emperors of Washington by gallantcorkscrews reviews
Edward is a killer. But it can't be explained away by his vampire nature. He's just a sociopathic, human teenager. CAN I MAKE A LOVE STORY OUT OF THIS? ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 36,778 - Reviews: 2557 - Favs: 1,842 - Follows: 1,061 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
In Another Life by the-glory-days reviews
When Edward Cullen is killed in a car accident, it’s Bella Swan who finds herself helping his ghost find out why he died. All-Human, AU, A Twilight Retelling.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 73,222 - Reviews: 1150 - Favs: 1,315 - Follows: 621 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I'll Eat You Alive by Mezzanottex3 reviews
Edward is back in Forks, but something is very wrong. He's not the same as he used to be. "I feel like a savage, Bella. I'm trapped inside a body I can't control." ExB: lemons. dark/mature themes. vampires. OOC. "That's right, sweetheart. Scream my name."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 97,276 - Reviews: 2751 - Favs: 2,265 - Follows: 1,775 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Bella, Edward
Little Nurse by Moonchild707 reviews
Removed for editing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
We Are Not Alone by ShellyHale reviews
What happens when you cram six of the worst kids of Fork's High into the school's library for Saturday Detention? They all are different from one another. Some better than others.But they'll discover they aren't so different after all. ExB AxJ RxEm
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 39,977 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 1/26/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Complete
Attack Of The Cliches! by NotToBeMessedWith reviews
Sick of overly cliched Twilight fics? Well, here's your chance to laugh at exactly how stupid they are! A new cliche whenever I can! Now featuring cliches written by our readers! I do love being cruel... T for some swearing. And remember to hate on Jake!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 24,727 - Reviews: 1068 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8406 - Favs: 7,589 - Follows: 1,756 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 1,077 - Follows: 300 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete